The Big Suey: You Bet Your Sweet Bippy

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

Fiscally responsible. Financial geniuses.
Monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.
Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.
Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.
Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.
Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.
Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up. Well, I do know that to be true, but even during an ad reads, like...
Cuervo. I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners.
Sweet, delicious Cuervo. Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots.
The same family, the same land, the same passion. Cuervo.
So, enjoy the tequila that started it all. Cuervo.
Cuervo. The tequila that invented tequila.
Proximo. Cuervo.com.
Please drink responsibly. Cuervo.

Welcome to the Big Sui.

Presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.

I'm sorry.

I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys?

I've done it.

Thank you. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, Fat Face, and the Habitual Liar.
This segment is presented by LinkedIn Jobs. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash DLS.
Terms and conditions apply. David Sampson is here from nothing personal.
He is doing it every day. It continues to grow, and he covers a ton of stuff that I do not see other people in sports covering.
So you should check out Nothing Personal. We have a number of things to talk to you about, David.
But I guess the place that I should start is that I just heard Greg Cody and Chris Cody have a conversation in which the following was revealed. And I want to know, at what age will Chris Cody stop doing what I'm about to say? Okay.
At what age will he be as a son before he stops doing this to his father? His father likes to dictate into the phone instead of texting just a note to his wife or whomever hey i'm gonna stop by uh and grab some avocados period and his son shouts from the distance cock balls to see if it picks it up and it does sometimes it's a laugh right when it does okay and so my question to you is how, when will Chris stop doing that? Like, what is that? That's off limits at some age, is it not? I assume only when his heart stops beating. I think that a cockballs joke, that can go all the way to 120.
This guy gets it. David gets it.
I don't mind it. You do seem to, you do mind it when I do it, when we're in it.

But afterward, I'm laughing out loud at the whole absurdity of it.

Like you would with a three-year-old that misbehaves.

Right.

I don't think I've ever failed to catch it, though, and sent that to my wife.

That's the gold standard, right? That would be.

As a practical joke, the best thing is that he didn't hear it, his timing was off,

and at exactly that moment, he sends it, and he embarrasses himself sending a text uh to pat riley it's like asking whether or not a fart joke will ever be not funny is it i think the answer is no it's always funny he's always funny uh before you were on uh on with us i think you would have found blasphemous and hurtful some of the things that Mike Ryan was saying about his appraisal of Lone Depot Park as a baseball park. And I'd just like for him to say them to your face because...
I have before, and he takes it deeply personal because he designed every aspect of that, and I understand, and I'm not conflating what they ended up doing with the franchise afterwards it just never was for me I know Jeffrey Luria fancied himself this uh big art expert and he was going for something that just wasn't for me art is subjective my whole thing is pick a color you know it was every color at the at the start I found it a garish design I don't I don't like the food options I't like being there. It's just not for me.
I know that that is not what David intended. This was supposed to be a communal thing.
I guess I'm on the line of more traditional, and they were really going for something that was really different, and I guess it works for some people. It just never works for me.
It bothers me all the time. It bothers my ears.
It bothers my nose. It bothers my eyes i i think the stadium feel better i mean i'm sorry to do that to you again but no i'm just asking like i i'm hoping i want you in light of the irresponsible journalism that happened and befell the show about mental illness i'm just asking do you feel better telling me that you don't understand signage or you don't understand the concept of sales or quadrants i'm just curious if you don't like miro do you feel better no not really like i i like camden yards dude i like america i like i like other ballparks i don't like this one did you see david where it was ranked that's what we're talking about there was a ranking of the ml in the third column.
63 of 90. Greg Cody had an opinion here, though, that he wasn't allowed to express.

I mean, I think it's a great little ballpark. That's condescending.
No, I think the capacity

is just the right size for this franchise right now. I think the retractable roof was necessary

and smart. I think the look over the outfield wall to the downtown skyline is gorgeous.
I think there's a lot good about it, and I'm not going to retrofit that because I object right now to the way the club is being run by the cheapest owner in all of sports, Bruce Sherman. I could go on and on about that, but I think the ballpark itself is perfectly fine.
I like the location as well. Yeah, I love the location.
Look, I think I've been to most of the MLB ballparks, and this one's just not for me. If you like it, I'm not going to hold it against you.
I just fancy, you know, 20 other ballparks more than this one, and I guess I'm more of a traditionalist when it comes to ballparks. I've never had a good time in that place.
David? Well, that's not true. That's not true at all.
You have had a good time because you've gone to a game with your daughter and you said that you had a very good time and made a memory with her. Yeah, we left after three innings.
We left after three innings. So you had a great hour.
I was there with friends. There's just nothing.
I don't like the sweets. I don't like the lower level.
I don't have good times there. I didn't even like the Guns N' Roses concert.
I thought the food was good. I thought the food hasn't gone down in the last two and a half years.
I've never liked the food. When it first opened, it had the Cuban little corner out there.
Like that's gone. Taste of Miami.

Yeah.

That's just 13 years ago. This is not for me.
I'm sorry. So it's not a new ballpark anymore.
Let me start with that. This is now entering season number 14.
But what I also will say, Mike, about Comerica and about some of the traditional ballparks, when it was being negotiated with the city of Miami and the county of Miami-Dade, nobody wanted a traditional park because they felt that would not reflect Miami and the newness and the new money and the Latin aspect of Miami. No one wanted a Camden Yards.
It actually was part of the deal that the project would not be an old style retrofitted ballpark. So it was never even a possibility.
I get that. It does also age buildings prematurely when you go for a more contemporary look and, you know, 20 years go by and then all of a sudden you wonder what someone was thinking there.
But well, in Vegas, Mike, they're building the same looking thing. They're building the Sydney Opera House again in Vegas.
And it's not it's it's closer to Marlins Park than it is to Comerica. This is not that complicated of a disagreement.
I understand why you like it. I understand why this coming from me.
But you called it a bleep hole. You did call it Lone Depot Park.
Oh, yeah. I called it a hole.
Yeah, I don't like it. It's bad.
It's bad. Not good.
Let's get into what Greg Cody was saying here before we get into the topics of the day. Greg was saying that Bruce Sherman is the cheapest owner in all of sports.
Does he have that right? Oh, I think that that's an argument that people in Pittsburgh would say that Bob Nutting is. I think that people in Chicago would say that Jerry Reinsdorf is.
And I think I could probably keep going and go city by city. You have total location bias in that.
And the fact of the matter is the Marlins at the payrolls they've had, they should have been able to win because there's teams in the playoffs every year. Even the Marlins themselves were in the playoffs only a few years ago.
And so far be it for me to defend Bruce Sherman, except to tell you that I think it's the results that you're playing, not the payroll. Well, it's the lack of a plan.
They're building toward a future that never gets here. They're fielding a minor league lineup this season.
A month from now, they probably will trade their only star, Sandy Alcantara, once he proves he's healthy with four or five starts.

And their minor league system, I saw the pipeline ranking, they're only mid-pack right now. It's not as if they have a top three minor league system where the immediate future is guaranteed.
He is spending egregiously low. They lose 100 games last year and the payroll falls by $36 million.
If I wereb or the players association i wouldn't stand for the inexcusably low spending that but they have a floor don't they like when all of this is bargained right david like what he's saying there you wouldn't stand for it they do stand for it it was negotiated well there's no actual salary floor i think what you're referring to dan is that the union has an opportunity to file a grievance. And there was a grievance filed against us and many other teams over the years when the union thinks the payroll is too low.
It should be very telling to you if no grievance is filed against the Marlins this year, it means that the union looked at the books, which they do every year. They get our financial statements and they see exactly the revenue and they see the losses and therefore they see that there is no grievance to be won.
Sometimes they just file it for PR, but other years they know there's nothing they can do. The Marlins are putting out a payroll that is really related to the revenue that they have, which is bleak.
Do you take some sort of weird, devilish satisfaction being in the middle of the idea that you helped ruin the business down here because they can't afford anything because they spent too much buying the team from you? No, I take pleasure in knowing that that is the laziest take of all time from someone of your stature, that you would say that an ownership group, because they paid too much, it's like saying you bought a house for too much, so therefore you don't mow the lawn. It's completely ridiculous.
Or you let the pool turn into moss because you paid too much for the house. Did they overpay for the Marlins? You bet your sweet Bippy they did.
But that has nothing to do with the ongoing operation.

By how much?

By $300 million? By $400 million? How much did they overpay? By something that would make for a nice payroll if they were spending it there? They overpaid by probably $400 to $600 million, given where the other bids were. David's right, though, but they bought it.
So it's yours. It's not my problem.
Do something with it. So I don't take satisfaction.
It's if you overpay for a house or a car or a piece of memorabilia, or you overpay and whatever it is you're doing, that means you can't allocate toward other things. That really has nothing to do with the seller at all.
Famously, Dan, you went at major league baseball for not doing their due diligence and making sure that this was not something that the ownership group overextended itself. And part of the business plan was that they were going to cut because they did overextend themselves.
I don't want to pick at old wounds anymore. I want to talk to you as like a former team president, though.
There was a I guess he's OK now so we can kind of laugh at it. But Tracy Morgan vomited courtside at Madison Square Garden, which will probably be a meme forevermore, as well as his photo of him recuperating.
But how, from a team ops perspective, Tracy Morgan throwing up courtside is probably treated differently than a regular Joe Schmo, such that they are sitting courtside, would be treated. How do you think those conversations go? How would they have gone if something similar were to happen in your line of work? Oh, we actually rehearse that, Mike.
We rehearse if something happens that interrupts the field of play. You rehearse it with your cleaning crew, with your security, what you would do if there has to be a stoppage, because normally it's going to be a spilling of beer or a throwing of popcorn or something that would get on the field.
But of course, you plan for the occasional vomit. And the way you do it is you are sprung into action.
You've got people who are assigned the mop, people who are assigned the pail. You've got people who are assigned the spray.
You've got people who understand what to do about giving free stuff to the people next to where the vomit happened or where the spill happened in order to make sure that your customers are happy. So you go right to page 68 of the playbook.
And that is what the Knicks did. And you keep on going.
So it doesn't matter whether it's Tracy Morgan or a person to be named later or nameless later. They very well knew what to do.
And it's gross, but it's the least gross thing. At the end of the games, I would get a report and it wasn't labeled this, but I would label it like the top 10 grossest things from the game.
Like what happened in the bathroom at section 104? And you get a report of, hey, there was a stuffed toilet or there was a spill where there was people who were over served and vomiting barely makes your top 10. OK, I had a follow up and now I have like 10 more follow ups.
I guess I first want to start with when you rehearsed it, did you have like an actor with fake vomit that would fake vomit everywhere and then you do like a whole cleanup thing? Yeah, but you don't do it with vomit. You do it with you just spill stuff.
You spill a liquid. We didn't put chunks in it.
We didn't do anything like that to make it vomit. We would just do it with water.
We wouldn't even do it with sticky stuff like beer, even though beer is the most commonly thing. The most common thing that's spilled in your ballpark is beer.
But no, you don't practice with actual beer. But then how is your staff ready if it doesn't smell bad or if it's not like a biohazard i feel like you're going to take different steps there to clean it up than if you just have fake water like i don't think you're doing your staff a service by having you know just water yeah but i don't start a fire every time i do a fire drill well maybe if you did you'd be better prepared for Wow.
Okay. I don't even know how to respond to that.

I do not believe that it is appropriate to start a fire in order to practice what to do.

Active shooter drills we do all the time.

We don't have an active shooter who is actually shooting at people, but we are prepared with what to do when that happens.

That was unnecessary.

It's just unnecessary.

It actually seems pretty necessary given the times. But I'm wondering if you've ever had a similar situation with a VIP.
Doesn't necessarily have to be, you know, someone throwing up, but have you ever had an issue health related or some other type of issue around a VIP that was in one of your ballparks? I don't recall anybody even being over-served. Obviously, we have a lot of celebrities who came to games over the years, and I don't recall ever having to kick anyone out or having a crossword with them.
I certainly recall throwing people out every game. There's people who go to the medical center, and you get a full report of everybody who goes for liability purposes.
Most of the time, they're over or they've been hit by a foul ball. And you've got to keep track of that.
But we would I was never told over 18 years that, hey, there's a celebrity here. And if they're going to be over served, it would be in the suite where I was.
And so we would be in control of that. David, I have a specific question to ask you.
But first, I have to hark back to something you said and make a point of clarification. When you use the phrase bet your bippy, what is the etymology on that? It is just me trying to appeal to you and the demographic that you bring when you're on the show.
And I believe the expression is bet your sweet bippy. Yeah, because you need to stop doing all of that.
Why did? Yeah, no, because he's right. Yeah, but we need Bippy.
Okay. And it reminds me the it's from laughing.
All right. All right.
Let's just give me 10 seconds. Just pretend you're not there and that Greg is running the show.
Greg, I have been saying bet your Bippy on nothing personal. And I had someone reach out to me at David Sampson podcast dot com who was in college, who loved laughing and said, you're doing it wrong.
It's bet your sweet Bippy. And I've never said laughing for laughing for the uninitiated is a 1960s comedy television show.
1970s, maybe 1970s groundbreaking 1970s. Please, please stop doing that that rowan and martin do you ever talk about seinfeld uh please cheers tony those are just okay okay educate yourselves no there no no yes no laughing is 20 years 20 years earlier than those laughing is like one of the original television comedies.
Yeah. Ruth buzzing.
As you get further away from when their start date was, you start to conflate it. And if I told you right now to guess what year the civil war started, I would hope that you'd say, Hey, sounds like 1865.
But if you said 1845, I'd say wrong, but close. All right.
It started in 1968. I'm asking you to eradicate

it from your lexicon or update your lexicon. Let's do top five.
Chris Cody, get the fanfare ready.

Top five grossest things David Sampson has gotten in one of those end game reports. Number five,

David. Number five is a adult who had an accident outside of the bathroom

it's a nightmare number four number four is someone who thought it would be wise to take

their beer cup and fill it with ice cream and then drop it on somebody in a fight

a good move it's a terrible move it's disgusting and it caused us to actually have to

Thank you. on somebody in a fight.
A good move. It's a terrible move.
It's disgusting. And it caused us to actually have to know.
Number three, the number three grossest thing that ever came to my desk after a game was when the Batboys with an opposing team, and I don't want to make up the team because I can't remember. They had a tobacco combination that i hadn't seen before that they couldn't get off the dugout floor and it caused extra time which was extra money to get the dugout ready if you've never seen a dugout after a game you don't know what i'm talking about but it is heinous it's sticky it.
Sticky, brown and disgusting, which could describe my number two, number two. And this is just me with children.
I did not want to put any children's bathrooms or changing areas. And the second grossest thing, which to me is very patently offensive, is when somebody and has happened more than once left dirty diapers not in a refuse uh place they left it out in the open that is unacceptable period all right so sticky uh brown and when you said number two there were you saying you're number two or were you saying you're number two in the rankings when you that was my number two in the rankings okay number one the grossest thing that ever happened to me uh is when someone got hit with a foul ball and it opened a gash in their head and it was their fault because they were on their phone and it was a quick settlement but when you go visit visit them and they're going into the ambulance, it is really gross because the head really does bleed tremendously.
And a ball foul ball can really open up the noggin. And I found that to be gross, even though I'm a fan of medical shows like Ray's Anatomy.
That did not make me happy. I feel like throw up is worse than a lot of barf is worse than that.
it was their fault was unnecessary and a quick settlement what did you just walk up and write a check for four grand and be like sorry and then that person left with blood all over the check it's funny you don't start with four grand you start with a signed ball and a jersey and you work your way up if you absolutely have to well what was the settlement please i need I need to hear my, like, why did you offer up? It was their fault they were in the phone. Oh, because that's the first thing we do.
We go to the videotape and we see whether or not someone who gets hit in the noggin was on their phone. Because if not, then we settle for more.
If they're on their phone, we settle for less. If we see that someone's paying attention to the game and they get hit in the head, we're going in, forget the ball.
We're going to start with a meet and greet. We may even start with the first pitch.
Now, wait a minute. Isn't there a disclaimer on the in fine print on the back of a ticket that says essentially that says if you get hit by a fall ball, it ain't our fault? Yeah.
And that is the truth. That's the legal truth.
Say it just like that. But they people file lawsuits because you get one eight hundred lawyers who are willing to do it on commission thirty three percent.
And so they will just waste our time and our money. So we we call it a nuisance payment.
OK, so you have never you never contested one of that such claim. We we went pretty far with several of them because they were being so unreasonable, but we never actually went to trial.
So every one of them ends up as a settlement, but it's just a matter of when you settle. And what's a typical settlement? 5K, less than that? It depends.
5K is a good number. If you get yourself 5K from a little knock, we didn't really like paying people who said, oh, my back hurts, my shoulder hurts.
I want to see blood for 5K. I want to see bruising.
I want to see seams in your arm for 5K. Like, don't tell me you have a headache.
I'm not interested in that. But I'm just like, so like a screaming line drive foul ball, if you go back and look and they're on their phone, that like, you're like, oh, we're clear.
Like well some foul balls are like i get you on like the lofty foul ball but like a screamer down the the baseline you're like up they're on their phone we're good that's the utility infielder sign jersey okay i want to play this game let's play this game come up i want you guys to give me some scenarios here and then just have him say here's a mike lowell bobblehead that's what you get i open the bidding because what's happening here is so wrong like he's saying somebody did something and made a negotiation point that was unreasonable my my thinking is that person is probably more reasonable than david getting there trying to immediately negotiate with a bobblehead while that person hemorrhages from the head hit with a screaming line drive and wasn't prepared for a negotiation that arrived with settlement. A person who is to be taken advantage of bleeding from the face.
And David's there with $5,000. What are you saying is unreasonable in that circumstance? Listen, some people like a Meziga.
I don't really understand your position here that you're saying that I'm being unreasonable. Some people are more than happy to take away signed items from a game.
What if before the Nets went up during your time at Pro Player, a bat went into the stands? Even if they're not on their phone, that's harder to get away from.

How does that negotiation go down? You get to keep it. I love where your head is because bats are a different story than balls.
And the way you work with bats is you don't get to keep the bat that hits you because often the player wants it back. So we promised the players that we will go for a trade.
And that's a twofer. You get two unused actual bats for every gamer that hits you when you're in the stance.
So that's the general rule. Now, if the bat splinters and it's wedged in your arm, then you keep the broken bat because the player doesn't want it.
On top of that, you're invited back and you may even get to meet the player depending on how wedged in the wood is. That's a good deal.
I'm picturing the bat like through someone's arm. That's a good deal for an impaling.
That's the rate of impalement. This is a message from sponsor Intuit TurboTax.
Guys, Taxes was dealing with piles of paperwork and frustrating forms and then waiting and and wondering and worrying if you're gonna get any money back.

Now Taxes is easily uploading your forms to a TurboTax expert who's matched

to your unique tax situation.

An expert who's backed by the latest technology,

which cross-checks millions of data points

for 100% accuracy.

While they work on your taxes,

you get real-time updates on their progress,

and you get the most money back, guaranteed,

all while you go about your busy day. No stress, no worry, no waiting.
Now, this is taxes. Intuit TurboTax.
Get an expert now on TurboTax.com. Only available with TurboTax live full service, real-time updates only on iOS mobile app.
See guaranteed details at TurboTax.com slash guarantees. Hey, friends.
It's Jer Baer here, and I'm here to tell you all about Boost Mobile, which is now a legit nationwide 5G network. So I must take a break from the jokes here for a second and put on my serious voice, because I would never, ever joke about a 5G network that has invested billions building 5G towers across the country.
Not even once. Not even if Mr.
Boost Mobile himself asked me to. There is nothing funny about it.
Boost Mobile is now a legit nationwide 5G network and also provides coverage across 99% of America. Seriously.
Visit BoostMobile.com or your nearest Boost Mobile store location to learn more. The Boost Mobile network, together with our roaming partners, covers 99% of the U.S.
population. 5G speeds not available in all areas.
Weather is starting to warm up. Regular season starting to wind down.
Games of consequence in sports starting to ramp up. I know what you're going to need by your's by my side already miller light yeah that's right i'm making my springtime a miller time i'm making my sports time miller time going to a car race miller time gonna see some tennis miller time gonna chill in the backyard with some friends and make some memories miller time i love miller light because it's got taste that I know I can depend on.
No games, no gimmicks. It's that simple, folks.
It's just a great beer for people who like beer. Miller Lite is brewed for taste.
It hits different than the other light beers. It's got simple ingredients and at just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, Miller Time is always a good time.
The original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one.

Miller Light. Great taste.
96 calories.

Go to MillerLight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you,

or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

Tastes like Miller Time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

96 calories. 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Don Lebertard.

You don't remember the idea for a home run call?

I was probably like, that kind of thing.

Something.

Okay, no.

The home run call was, that kind of swing, that kind of thing.

Stugatz.

Oh.

That's a good call.

Thank you.

And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it. it like you're not tailoring it to a particular name you know all that jazz you know you don't gotta do that you just oh that would be a great call that kind of swing that kind of thing this is the dan The Clevatar Show with the Stuugats.
I, uh, I can't help, okay, but betray one of our colleagues here, and I regret that I'm doing this, but I can't unsee it right now because Tony's been shaking his head the entirety of this segment, like genuinely seemingly appalled at how clinically cutthroat you are about not being human but I read his lips a second ago and I don't know who he's talking to but he said I saw it evil the word evil like who are you talking to back there Tony because the entire time that would have been on air, but I saw it off air. It was said into my microphone to somebody who works in the back room, who's Lewis, and he was talking about how, wow, I can't believe it, all this time that we were going to these games, high above the press box, David Sampson looking down at somebody getting hit in the face with the ball and being like, meh, bubblehead.
I want you to imagine 9,000 fans are there and somebody comes out with a piece of bat in their arm, impaled, bleeding, scared. We'll give you two other bats.
How about that? 14-year-old kid and he's like, hey, you want a Miguel Rojas ball, kid? Yes, a John Birdie autograph. Yeah, laugh as you want, but kids actually get premiums.
That is where that is does have a heart man listen i'm not heartless at all if you're an impaled kid that is worth more than an impaled adult david what if my mom slips in the bathroom and really like hurts her back what kind of shoes is she wearing heels to a game yeah high heels yeah normal shoes normal shoes sneakers normal shoes is worth something if you're wearing rubber sole shoes and you trip because we have a wet spot so that's something the cleaning crew knows with no sign no sign up that says wet floor so we've got these yellow v-shaped things that you see in the bathroom when there's the wet spot and that absolves you that's how you get to the utility if we don we don't get to, you could be looking at a lower ball for that. If you slip and fall in a wet bathroom or on a concourse where there's been something that's spilled, you're getting starting nine.
Wow. So if I slip and fall on a soiled diaper that hasn't been picked up, I get to bat fourth in the next game or something like that? It's about the worst case scenario for me as someone who would trip on that sort of item.
I never had that happen, so I never had to make that negotiation. So I don't know where it would end.
But you would clearly have the upper hand were you to take advantage. Hypothetical for you.
There's a fight in the fish tank in the outfield at Pro Player Stadium. Your security is late to get there.
There's pushing and shoving. One of the people involved in the fight gets shoved onto a patron that is sitting behind them, not involved at all in the fight.
They get hurt in it. What is your liability there and ensuing settlement? Well, you said pro player.
So I'm in the clear because I'm a tenant of pro player. I didn't control control the security of pro player and so while it would make me angry that security would be late to a fight like that that would be a Dolphins Wayne Huizinga slash Stephen Ross issue okay at loan Depot yeah if that would happen uh we would have a problem because it is not the expectation that there would be a third party who would get hurt in a fight.
So that person would have two causes of action, one against the people who are fighting. And the odds are, depending on where the seat location is, and I'm being general, but it generally works, is that you're not going to get much blood from a stone in that regard, which is how the team then ends up getting sued.
We would then counter sue the two people fighting and we would figure out how to get the insurance companies to settle if that third party actually did get hurt. So you think Bob Nutting is cheaper than this? Wait, I'm sorry.
You're calling me cheap because of payroll or because of how items are settled in a legal situation? Just general unwillingness to give things away. Oh, I think that the people who work for me and the fans in general would say that that is not my reputation at all.
Actually, my reputation is that when people are deserving, they get paid. And when people are deserving, they get items.
When there is something that I made a mistake on or my staff did, who reports to me, of course, I'm responsible for that. And I would never shy away from responsibilities.
What I will not handle or stand or pay for is people try to get one over on me, trying to get something for something they don't deserve. Dave, what if I'm in the outfield, home runs coming my way, I'm tracking it, right? I'm tracking in the bleachers.
All of a sudden, I lean over the side and then I fall and I tumble into the Clevelander all of a sudden, right? Or under the field. Or under the field or something.
I fall 10 feet, 20 feet. What happens? Ejected.
Immediate ejecting. If you're hurt, we'll take you to the ambulance, to the hospital.
But if you in any way get onto the field of play, going for a foul ball or not, you are immediately ejected. There are signs up that is very clear on your ticket and signs in the ballpark that you may not interrupt or go onto the field to play.
What if I'm in the Clevelander? I fall in, but I fall into that little back area. Lucky me.
I would say that anyone who by mistake gets into the Clevelander, architecturally, that is impossible. The only people who could get into the Clevelander would be your left fielder in that manner it would be very difficult the way the ballpark is built to fall into the clevelander i've never seen that and i don't believe it's physically even possible can prove how little tony's been to that ballpark so 25k painted uh baseball began uh yesterday uh billy gill complains and says it's fake baseball we have not talked that at all.
Is there anything worth talking about? The Dodgers win both games. The Dodgers unlikely to lose all season.
Well, I would say that if you have an over-under from DraftKings or anywhere where the win total is 162, I would encourage you to put all of your hard-earned money on the under. The Dodgers will lose a game.
Their over-under, I believe, is around 104.5, which is one of the top over-unders you'll see. And what you saw in these two games is that even without Freddie Freeman and Mookie Betts, they have the ability to score runs.
Their starting rotation is deep when healthy, and their bullpen is deep, especially with new Marlin, old Marlin Tanner Scott, who they didn't even use for the save this morning. They went with Alex Vessia, and they've just got options upon options.
If they're healthy, they're going to win 110 games, and they've got a chance to go for the Mariners' record of 116. The Cubs are despondent.
They flew all the way to Tokyo. No Freeman, no Betts, and they still could not go away with a split.
That's a crappy flight home today. David, just before we get to your review from the week, I feel like I can say this without being prisoner of the moment and even understanding.
Mookie Betts and Freeman might get hurt. You never know who's going to get injured.
This is the best roster ever assembled, correct? This is the best team. When you put put an over under at 104 and a half that people are going to just assume you're going to win 100 games there's never been anything like this correct I think there have been Dan I mean that Mariners team I think was assembled and was a was potentially a better team than what these Dodgers are we saw what the Dodgers did last year when their rotation was completely injured.
They still were able to beat the Yankees in five games. I'm not talking about injury.
I'm talking about when you can go through 10 pitchers like that, when your bullpen arms are going to get you from five through nine because you're stronger there than everyone, too. It's deep.
There's no question. And of course, I'm jealous of it.
You know, thinking back to trying to compete against that. You're saying to me, is that the best roster ever assembled assembled I'd have to I'm not willing to make you can make the argument is my point yes you can definitely make the argument I mean and you ought to make the argument when your payroll is almost 400 million dollars you and and you've got Otani in at 46 which is where Otani is slated in that payroll because of how the math is done.
You've got to be able to win games. It really makes Mets fans despondent.
When they think about the amount of money the Mets spend on players and they don't get the results the Dodgers are getting, you have to expect the winning that the Dodgers are doing. David, I want to ask you about monologues on the big screen and on the small screen as well because I was watching white lotus and there was a great monologue um even though goggins got in a couple of times this was a monologue and i'm curious what are some of your favorite monologues you've ever seen on television or in movies jaws had a great one a few good men had a great one i'm curious uh your malice had a great one yeah i am god i guess one of favorites.
It's probably not even the best Alec Baldwin monologue, though. He's got two.
So it's interesting. You're talking about the White Lotus and you're talking about Sam Rockwell, who his real life partner.
Spoiler alert. What? Why is that a spoiler? I actually don't think this is a bad spoiler.
And I'll tell you why. I was checked out on White Lotus.
I had no interest in it. Everyone said that it wasn't off to the greatest start.
And then I saw a still on social media of Sam Rockwell in this scene with Walton Goggins. I'm like, I'm in.
And I hopped on that moving train. So I think in this instance, a couple days removed, mentioning that Sam Rockwell has joined the cast of White Lotus is a good thing.
It's a reveal, David, though. Like that's that they it wasn't announced before the show.
It's not like it's brad pitt i know he's won an academy award but i think sam rockwell can occasionally go to the grocery store and not get bothered is what i'm saying i think that you may see tracy let's at some point when you ask people to go to thailand for seven months they're going to say hi i'm leslie bibb i'll say yes but i'd like to bring my partner and mike white says your partner sam rockwell bring'll use them. And then Sam Rockwell appears.
I don't think anyone who's paying attention was surprised to see Sam Rockwell on the screen. I think he said, oh, that makes total sense.
Why sit in his room all day while his partner is filming? Oh, but he ends up getting such a great starter. That scene was just written for him, though, meant to be more and more absurd.
They coaxed him into doing that based on just writing what Mike is describing. Mike just compared that monologue, ridiculous, to the greats of all time in the history of cinema.
It's pitch perfect. It's fantastic.
That is a good movie. It's one of the greatest, not pitch perfect, the movie.
It's delivered by one of the better actors. I think, generationally speaking, Sam Rockwell is one of the more talented actors of his time, no? It reminds me of the Christopher Walken monologue in Pulp Fiction in terms of subject matter.
And now maybe that is considered spoiling, but the reason why it's getting so much attention is that, A, it's Sam Rockwell, one of the best actors alive. And B, it's done in a way that every time the scene continues and it almost looks like one take, you're looking and saying there's no way he's going to.
Oh, my God, he just went there. Well, that's it.
He won't go further. And then it's further and further.
And then when you're done with the scene, you're saying to yourself, this is brilliant. Because you don't even know what it has to do with the show.
Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing.
Well, no, no, they established he's got a role play. Okay.
And we now know that he's pretty good at it. Regardless, I'm going to let you go now, David, because you wanted some time on your review.
And we do not have that time. So I want to make sure that we get that time next time.
So just save that review. I want to make fun of Greg Cody for a couple of minutes.
Thank you for being on with us. We appreciate it.
Take care. I'm sorry about my opinions on Lone Depot.
For what it's worth, I also don't like Kaseya. I don't feel better.
Nothing personal is the name of the podcast. And I just want to address something here that happened during that segment where I had a private conversation with Chris Cody as everything was happening.
Because I'm just fascinated still after all these years by his father. Greg knows it's not funny.
Like he knows before he says that it's not funny to say and what would this penalty be would i get to bat cleanup during a game like he knows aggressively that that's not funny his comedic judgment my entire lifetime has been better than that but he cannot help himself and so he has to get out there with what he knows to be just a shitty joke. We're all just going to stare at him and be like, all right, Greg, you know better than that.
You know that joke's not any good. It's visual humor.
When I say that, you have to picture me at my age in a ridiculous batting helmet. Baseball uniform.
Dressed like this. Oh yeah full uniform yeah stirrups i want number nine which was my first number in little league because it was uh my mother's favorite number um fun fact but it's the visual it's the visual me batting against a 98 mile an hour fastball okay is fine but here look chris this is the reason that I bring it up with you, okay? I believe it is totally 100% fair criticism from our audience that both you and I are too hard on your father.
It's absolutely fair. But he knew before he said it.
That joke was shit. I don't want to leave you alone on this, Dan, but I'm kind of with my dad on this one.
That is funny. Him in a uniform and a helmet.
When you do the swing, you do the sound, too. What would your swing sound like? Yeah.
I got bat speed. I tell you that.
I may not make contact, but I got bat speed. There's just no way.
Let's see. Let's get a bat.
I want to see. We have a bat here, actually.
I want to see. Up in the cage.
Here, we've got a bat. Here, you close this segment.
You get in a stance. Camera people, get ready.
Here we go. All visual.
This is all going to be visual. I don't feel safe in here.
I don't. I'm going to leave.
It's a normal-sized bat. MLB bat there.
He's alleging that he has bat speed. We're going to get you near a microphone.
Not next to the screen, though. Please not next to the giant screen.
Yeah, let's not do this. He can't hear me, Dan.
Tell him to stop. I don't feel safe with any of this.
I don't feel safe. Dad, watch with the backswing, Greg, please.
Watch with the camera. The camera behind you.
The camera behind you. We don't have the space for this.
Whoa. I don't think he has bat speed.

I don't think so.

This is my bat speed, but slow.

Please don't hit the camera.

Please don't hit the screen.

Please be careful.

It's not a terrible swing.

This is not good. It's a long drive to center field.

Track it, Tony.

I'm going.

Oh, the Clevelander.

Watch the hand gesture.

Ah, it's fun.

You're going to hurt your finger that way, though. You're going to pull it up a little bit too a little low i regret everything i did here he does warm up his bat like a 1920s baseball player weather is starting to warm up regular season starting to wind down games of consequence in sports starting to ramp up.
I know what you're going to need by your side. It's by my side already.
Miller Lite. Yeah, that's right.
I'm making my springtime a Miller time. I'm making my sports time Miller time.
Going to a car race Miller time. Going to see some tennis Miller time.
Going to chill in the backyard with some friends and make memories? Miller time. I love Miller Lite because it's got taste that I know I can depend on.
No games. No gimmicks.
It's that simple, folks. It's just a great beer for people who like beer.
Miller Lite is brewed for taste. It hits different than the other light beers.
It's got simple ingredients, and at just 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces, Miller Time is always a good time. The original light beer since 1975 and still the very best one.
Miller Light. Great taste.
96 calories. Go to MillerLight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.
Tastes like Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly.
Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.