Local Hour: Pablo Torre Found Out

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Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Farmer.

Come on,

give it up for me.

be

honest

there,

who said soon.

I have four words for you.

I

love

this

company.

Yes.

Football.

Football.

Football.

Football.

football.

Hey, hey, hello.

It's me, Pablo, here to

football.

You love, love that slightly cliched chant that I, as an American, am contractually obligated to also say.

Football.

I'm interrupting this because I am going to join the show, I think, to talk about a new, now not so secret episode of my show in our new partnership with the athletic that's coming up soon.

So, finding out, find out, foot, find, you know, right?

Okay.

I have a journalistic judgment question to ask the group.

Should we start with Pablo Torre dropping at 5 a.m.

a Pablo drop that I suspect will be the biggest story in sports once all the editors and writers wake up and start chasing what Pablo is reporting?

Or should we talk about how Greg and Billy both think that the Dolphins have a must-win game this weekend?

A must-win?

A must-win.

Billy and Greg.

And Big Mac, just so that we're not making it seem like we're two kooks that think that.

Must-win, they have said

week one.

It seems a truly asinine thing to say.

You want to explain it to me?

I would love to, yeah.

And I say it in the context of how it would seem to be so asinine because I hate it when people use the word must win when it isn't literally a must-win and it's two words yeah the only time it applies really is a game seven in the finals or something like that but I will say this expectations are so low for the dolphins particularly relative to the hurricanes but in general expectations are low not expected to be a playoff team

in Indianapolis is not very good Okay, Indianapolis is a team they can beat, dare say should beat even on the road.

And so I just think if the Dolphins Dolphins lose this game Sunday, their whole season sags right out the gate.

I think they need this win in a big way just to entice the fans, just to get the fans a little bit excited, which they're not right now.

The Pablo story is back to football.

He's exactly right.

Here's the problem is that some people, Greg, and Dan seems to be one of these people,

don't seem to understand every game counts exactly the same.

So if this game was being played week 17, you'd say that's a big game.

That's a must-win.

They got to win this.

But they're playing that game week one.

So you got to win the Indianapolis.

Daniel Jones is their quarterback.

If you can't be Daniel Jones, I'm scared of Daniel Jones.

The Colts overcame the fact that they had a quarterback playing for them who didn't know how to play quarterback, who had started like all of 15 games in college and the pros and would appear to be something of a bust.

Yeah, like, are we forgetting?

Like, I understand what you're saying, the Colts, they're not very good.

The Dolphins and Colts both won eight games last year.

Like, the Colts are definitely looking at the Dolphins with the exact same mindset.

You know, if we don't beat that team, you know, our season sunk, too.

And, like,

it felt good when they announced Daniel Jones.

And so it's like, nice, Daniel Jones sucks.

Right.

He's better than Anthony Richardson.

Yeah, arguably.

No, he's better than...

No.

What do you mean, arguably, Greg?

Daniel Jones is a bust.

Uh-huh.

Nobody likes Daniel Jones.

Greg, Greg played the Giants.

He won a playoff game.

Anthony Richardson started 15 games, made about seven good throws, got hurt a bunch.

Great throws.

And and doesn't know how to play quarterback because he doesn't have the reps of having played quarterback.

Like, that's Daniel Jones knows how to play quarterback.

The Colts have to be at least a three-point favorite in the game, are they not?

One and a half.

One and a half, which means the Betters think Miami's a slightly better team.

If they're going to be beaten, it's going to be by Jonathan Taylor, not Daniel Jones.

No, no, no.

If the Colts are at home and a one-and-a-half-point favorite, I understand what you're saying, that three points go to the home.

team, but if the Colts are favored, the money is saying that the Colts are going to win the game.

They're favored to win the game.

But you know how odds go.

I do, but the Dolphins are on the road.

This is not a home team.

This is not the better team playing at home than is the Dolphins.

This is the better team being the Colts because they're at home.

In Dan's defense, it's weird for you to hear the line and say, well, that suggests the Dolphins are three points better.

I don't understand how that.

No, the line suggests that the Colts are one and a half points.

Well, which means the Dolphins are one and a half points better on a neutral field.

You guys don't.

I get what he's saying, though, because usually the home team gets a minus three.

Thank you.

Some gets a plus one and a half.

Thank you.

There's some math there.

There's One game that gets played in that league on a neutral field, and it's the last one.

So the Dolphins and Colts are actually London.

No, no, no.

No, Friday.

One Friday.

The NFL starts Friday with a game on a neutral field.

Thursday.

It starts Thursday then.

Tricky League.

It starts tomorrow?

Yeah, but tomorrow.

But the Brazil noticed it.

No, I thought Brazil.

No, no, but he goes hit your outboard.

The Brazil game is Friday, De Dan's point.

Hold on a second.

Would tomorrow night have been going on and you wouldn't have been watching?

Well, Friday night would have been going on and I wouldn't have been watching because I didn't know until yesterday when it scrolled across on YouTube.

I'm like, wait a minute, there's a game Friday night as well?

Brazil?

I was not aware of it.

A couple high-profile teams playing tomorrow night.

Yeah, I just World Champions.

I heard.

Big game.

Thank you for watching.

Ever heard of kickoff?

Game of the year.

Must-win, guys.

Yeah, yes.

I mean, figuratively.

We're going to take your word for you.

You didn't even know the season started tomorrow.

What do you know?

How are Dolphin fans going to feel about their season if they lose that game?

They're going to feel like it's over.

So that's why it's a

little bit more difficult.

Oh, but wait a minute, though.

The Colts fans, how are they going to feel?

Who cares about Colts fans?

If they lose that game, they're not people.

Colts fans are looking at that and saying that the Dolphins are an eminently beatable football team.

That is ripe.

for total collapse.

I know a big deal was made a few days ago that they didn't make Tyreek Hill a captain, which was only the easiest and most obvious decision that Mike McDaniel has made since he's been coach of the Dolphins.

No, falsehoods.

That was a sign that Tyreek Hill actually is a captain.

And we talked about this weeks ago.

And we said the captains are going to come out.

And Tyreek has been someone that, you know, is at odds with his teammates.

He's been named a captain for years now.

And if he's named a captain, we know he's not a captain because he accepted that role.

However, if he's not a captain, it shows he is a true leader.

And he says, you know what?

I'm going to step down.

I'm going to take a step back.

And he's really a true captain and a leader on this team by not accepting the label of captain.

What the hell are you talking about?

No, he's right.

It shows growth and leadership and maturity.

Okay.

It's very important to note that Mike McDaniel does not pick the captains.

It's a team vote.

It's a player vote.

I think it's very significant that the players themselves demoted Tyreek Hill because they were fed up with him refusing to go in a game late last season and then making all these uncaptain-like, unleadership-like moves on social media before finally retracting with his tail between his legs.

He, as Tua said, and I give Tua credit for this, on opening day of training camp, Tua comes out and says Tyreek has to earn back the respect of the team.

And apparently, he hadn't when they voted for captains.

I think it's a big deal.

I'm going to have to side with Billy here.

Thank you.

They probably all got gathered in the locker room, and Tyreek Hill probably stepped forward and said, guys, I shouldn't be captain, which is a true captain.

It could be.

It could be.

It's a leadership move.

Nonsense.

Good correction there.

I thought that Mike McDaniel had made that decision.

The players making that decision.

He doesn't make any decisions.

It's fairly

decision.

Isn't it one of those things, though, where all the votes go to Mike McDaniel?

So he's sitting in the office counting the votes.

I mean, he can kind of say, whoa, whatever.

Chris Cody finds out.

Right in ballots.

Voter fraud and Dolphins captain election.

Nothing's stopping him.

Put it on the poll, please.

Now players are going up to Tyreek, like, hey, man, I voted for you.

I don't know what happened.

Yeah.

And he's saying, I'm a leader.

I don't need this, guys.

I think for the betterment of the team, you guys be the captains this year.

Put it on the poll, please,

at your leisure at Lebatard Show.

Did the Dolphins players make Tyreek Hill the captain, and did Mike McDaniel then jerry-rig the vote?

Well, that's one view.

If the correct probably view is that Tyreek Hill said, you know what, for the betterment of the team and the organization, I'm going to step down.

I don't think it's a stretch to say he's laying down the foundation for Walter Payton Man of the Year.

I do.

I wish you'd let that silence sit, Greg.

Why wouldn't you, really, Really?

Really?

So you object to Billy's contention that Tyreek Hill might be NFL Man of the Year.

It was important.

If he didn't say anything, someone may have thought that Greg agreed.

I wanted the silence.

If we could have just stared at him for five seconds, it would have been funny.

You let it sit for 2.5 seconds.

You didn't let it sit.

Not in close.

A quick clock on that at 2.5 is quick.

I know your 2.5 seconds.

Some people, by the way, have also said Walter Payton Man of the Year is really the most important trophy that you can win, not the Lombardy.

Yeah, laughable.

Craig, can you get a a little closer to the Lombardy?

You're trying to disannoy me at this point.

The NFL says it's their biggest trophy, which is ridiculous.

No offense to Walter Payton.

Or Tyreek Hill, potentially.

Rest in peace.

Right, exactly.

Sweet president.

Or his son, who Dan thought was a bathroom attendant.

Yeah.

No, it's crazy, though.

Come on.

I did not think he was a bathroom attendant.

I thought he was at the kiosk handing out tourist pamphlets.

I did not think he was a bathroom attendant.

That is not how far in extreme my racism ran.

i simply made him the convention center pamphlet handler which is also insulting your glasses are also fogging i know they're they're poorly it's the coffee i think i i think they're poorly what they're they're i my they were fitted wrong for my head so they sit too close the cody eyeball the cody nose i'm the cody nose nose um no they're it's badly designed i'm not going to say who the you know eye doctor is that i go to because i don't want to mcgillicuddy no no it's it's not McGillicuddy.

Greg, the coffee, what's happening with the fogging of the glasses is that your coffee's hot and you are fogging the glasses by drinking coffee.

Yeah.

I love coffee.

Coffee.

Everybody loves coffee.

It's the American drink.

No, not everyone.

Yeah.

Some people don't like it.

Yeah.

Put it on the poll at Lebatar Show.

Does everyone love coffee?

I learned something that I did not know when I was in Hawaii.

I guess, evidently, that

coffee prices have exploded because of the tariff situation.

It's one of the things that have happened where we don't have a lot in America of the kind of soil that you need to make some of the best coffee.

So you can do some of that.

You can find some of that in Hawaii and where else, I guess, Puerto Rico might have some climate that you would want for coffee, but we don't make coffee well and America is addicted to coffee.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show.

Does everyone like coffee?

Because

have you guys seen the coffee prices explode in a way that you're noticing it, the way that people noticed that egg prices were exploding?

Nah.

A little bit.

A little bit.

Like, I buy 10K cups of an unnamed brand.

It was always $9.99, you know, basically a buck a cup for years.

And now it's like $12.99, $13.99.

That's pretty big.

I thought Zaslow was going to bring in a plane stick today.

What happened?

Oh, I broke it.

Yeah, good job.

Good job.

Good job.

Why can't someone remind me?

I got to remember everything.

You blew it.

You got to remember to get everything I got to remember to get a plain stick at Dunkin' Donuts when that's your thing.

You said yesterday, that's my thing.

I'm gonna bring it in tomorrow.

And now I'm annoyed because now I'd really like to eat a plane stick right now.

And everyone said it, and then we put it on a poll, and 85% of the people said they didn't know what a plane stick was.

And you were gonna show us today what a plane stick was.

I've let everyone down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's okay, we're used to it.

Yo, you don't have to agree so quick, Greg.

Bricks of Cuban coffee are out of control, if you're asking me, Dan.

Like, Yava Bustello, they used to be like $1.99 or something for like a brick now, down near $5 now.

It's crazy.

put it on the poll as well at Lebatar's show.

Have you noticed that coffee prices have exploded?

Hey, listeners, it's Mike.

Hey, Billy Gill.

Hey, hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

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Don Lebatard.

You don't remember the idea?

I was probably like, that kind of thing.

Something.

Okay, no.

The home run call was that kind of swing, that kind of thing.

Stugats.

Oh, it's a good call.

Thank you.

And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it.

Like, you're not tailoring it to a particular name.

You know, all that jazz.

You know, you don't got to do that.

You just have to do that.

Oh, that would be a great call.

Oh, that's a good call.

That kind of swing, that kind of thing.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

The Pablo Torrey Finds Out story that I do believe, I don't know, you guys have now seen it.

It dropped at five o'clock.

Do we have any special imaging, even though we're coming in a couple of hours late on what it is that's happening with Pablo Torre?

His episode dropped at 5 a.m.

this morning.

He's been working on it for seven months, okay?

Because this is his first assignment in partnership with the athletic, and he's coming out with the biggest story I think he's ever had.

But you guys have now seen some of the story.

Did we over-promise and under-deliver?

Did we promise correctly?

Or did we under-promise and over-deliver?

Because we normally don't talk this positively about something that's coming out.

But I really do believe that even in a football week, as soon as people see what the size of this story is, it's got some nuance in it.

Some of his stories are hard to report cleanly, like just saying, Hey, this thing is so, and it's a fact because you're accusing people of things, and there's lawyering involved.

You don't want to get sued.

You have to, like, you have to make sure that you have your facts right on a story like this.

You can't be flippant about it, but where, so, so, if anyone here is accused of violating the salary cap with a, for example, an alleged $28 million no-show job for Kawhi Leonard, a superstar that everyone was wondering when the Clippers got him.

How did that happen?

Uncle Dennis was involved.

Kawhi was asking for a ton of things.

Did we overpromise?

I'll be honest, when Pablo first started

mentioning this like a few weeks ago, and I got a big story coming out, you know, and David was mentioning, hey, he's saying he's got a big story coming out.

I was like, all right, it's like, better be a doozy, all right because Pablo's had a couple stories that felt pretty big and you're saying this one's bigger so I'll admit I was skeptical you know is this gonna come out like it's not that big of a thing and then I see it this morning and I think it's a pretty big thing

I think I think that people are gonna be like I think they're gonna be a lot of trouble with this story I mean heck I was listening on the way in here on Sirius XM on NBA radio that they were all over it like they were talking about the story and Pablo this Pablo that like I think once people are starting to wake up today, they see the story,

I think it's big trouble.

Yeah, I normally have below-average interest in business stories and stories that involve contracts, but this is a true blockbuster.

And I think the size of it, the weight of it, is going to be known when the repercussions come in.

Like, is Ballmer going to be suspended?

Are they going to be fined?

Are the club going to be fined?

They can't lose draft picks because OKC's got them all.

Yeah, exactly.

But what are they going to do?

You know, is the deal going to be negated?

No, the punishment should be they have to keep Kawhi Leonard.

That's the punishment.

That's punishment played good last year, Zaz.

They would love to get out from that contract.

I kind of poo-pooed the last one of these Pablos.

This one, this one's big.

It's a good one.

Kind of like the Woach has a Woach bomb.

This

is a Pablo.

Pablo

Whoa

That's the dropping of a Pablo?

Yeah, he's blown away.

Like, can you feel it?

Oh, Oh, yeah, I can't.

Is there a Pablo out there?

It's brisk, but it's not like powerful.

Maybe that's like a nuke, and this is like the nuclear winner sound.

Oh, it sounds to me like a Pablo.

This is the dropping of a Pablo.

Get back in the workshop and see if you can make better imaging for that.

She costs $7,000.

I feel nervous.

What's Pablo's security detail like provided by Metal Arc?

Because he's pissing off a lot of powerful people who, you know, maybe might try to kill him.

I don't know if people listening.

That was not...

I don't think that people

necessarily...

The discerning ones do, but I don't think that people necessarily see what's happening throughout the entirety of media and sports media that makes it more and more difficult with all of these corporate partnerships and all of these teams not caring for sports journalism.

And as far as I can tell, not sure how much sports fans care for sports journalism until it's done this kind of thoroughly and they then enjoy, of course, the scandal.

But what's happening throughout sports journalism is resources throughout local news, throughout everything, not just sports, is that it's all being hacked to death.

by an assortment of efficiency cuts and people not seeing this stuff as important.

So MetalArc Media has made a substantive investment in making sure that this show can do what Outside the Lines used to do, what HBO Real Sports used to do in the podcast form.

No one else is doing this in the podcast form in sports.

Let's play a clip from Pablo Torrey Finds Out.

This episode dropped at 5 a.m.

We will get better imaging for when it is a Pablo Trox.

Do you remember the first time that you discovered Kawhi Leonard's endorsement agreement with Aspiration?

Oh, it was within the first 30 days of my employment with the company.

And I didn't so much as discover it as I was told about it.

What was your reaction?

What were you told?

My reaction was, what the?

And I was told, like, oh, these are the major contracts and the major players you really need to be aware of.

And we went through a litany of, you know, really, really top-tier name contracts.

And then, oh, by the way, we also have a marketing deal with Kawhi Leonard, a $28 million organic marketing sponsorship deal with Kawhi.

And that if I had any questions about it, essentially don't because it was to circumvent the salary cap LOL.

There was lots of LOL when things were shared.

Did you ever see proof of Kawhi Leonard marketing or endorsing aspiration in any way?

Never, not once.

The single largest payment to an individual for marketing that Aspiration ever made has completely evaded all press.

Nothing.

He didn't have to do anything.

In other words, Kawhi Leonard got from Aspiration a $28 million no-show job.

Yeah, it's amazing.

I'm honestly so jealous.

So jealous.

I mean, he's got the dream.

Like, it's within my beliefs to be paid $28 million and do absolutely f ⁇ all as well.

One of the things that I wrote down on a piece of paper when we left ESPN in terms of aspirational bullet points, there weren't that many, but one of them was,

I'd like to start something that allows me to use a voice modulator.

And I don't think we do it particularly well here.

No, that was bad because that was very clearly Boban.

Yeah.

I think it's pretty obvious to anybody who worked with that person who that is.

Like, I believe his voice is distinctive enough.

Oh, a sign-in pronoun.

Okay.

That while it is that we're listening to it, we don't know who it is.

But I think the people who would be mad that that person spoke would recognize that voice.

I don't think we use the voice modulator very well.

So identifiable.

Unbelievable.

What?

Yeah.

That guy, to people who know him, to people who work for that company, how can you know that?

The voice sounds different.

Please.

I mean, what if it's a woman?

It's possible.

In fact, I would say, in my opinion, I heard that.

I'm like, yeah, it's possibly a woman.

And to hear you guys speak with such certainty that it's not,

it probably speaks to the fact that it might be a good voice modulation.

You know what?

I need to slightly take that back because I erred in assuming that it was or is a man.

Where I don't think I erred is in thinking that we would be bad as a group at voice modulation and that therefore that would be a man because to disguise the voice and have it be a woman would be well done.

I don't believe we did it that well.

The second episode of Pablo Torre finds out is we track down whether or not that's a man or a woman.

Yeah.

Hey, there's spaces in between.

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What's up, listeners?

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Don Lebatard.

Let me get some golf ASMR.

Stugats.

Oh, me.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Greg Cody

wanted us to find when he came in here today

what I have spoken about before, which is the one time that he was using a voice modulator when he suggested in print, something that Zaslow still makes fun of him about 30 years later, that the Dolphins trade Dan Marino.

I'm the only person in this room whose voice has been modulated, so I speak from experience.

Well, Chris has done some voice modulation with a new toy that he has back there that we've given him because, again, the bullet points were I wanted to be good at voice modulation and we're still not good at voice modulation.

I also snitched on Bomber to Paul.

Oops.

Greg, would you please get in that seat over there where our voice modulator is in the middle seat and see since you I'd like to see if we can get slightly better at the voice modulation here, but

in front of that he he loved, Greg Cody loved that in 1990 or thereabouts.

Can you look at the

date on that framed column?

It's probably 93 on the wall on when it is that Greg Cody, the most memorable column Greg Cody has ever written.

93.

In 1993, he blasphemed sacrilege.

He traded Dan Marino in print.

And afterward, I thought it was Channel 10 that interviewed him, although he said it was Jim Berry, who I think is still on the air.

I think Jim Berry is still on the air.

Anchor chair.

And

he had his voice and his face modulated like you would

a whistleblower or anybody whose identity you were trying to conceal who was giving you information that was dangerous for them to be known to be giving.

And so he once did an interview in front of the Miami Herald building that way, and he wanted us to find it for him from 30 years ago.

And I feel like I would have had to go straight to Jim Berry and ask him to go through things I would have to put in a VCR in order to get them to play because this is so old, it's 10 years before the internet.

Never mind social media.

Pablo would have found it.

maybe pablo can find it so that we can hear a young sounding greg cody but greg let me hear let me see if your voice would be well disguised here if we modulated it here instead of using all of the resources that pablo has hello this is not greg cody

that kind of thing

and you know it

okay now any questions i want the whole show like this um do you you want greg to sit in there all show?

Must win for the Dolphins.

Not Greg.

But I do agree with Greg.

Why are you talking so slow about this?

Oner.

It's because you can hear yourself.

It's kind of awkward.

What do you mean?

Greg, do you have a back in my day?

A what?

I stand behind Greg for not doing back in my days anymore.

You all have him singing songs and doing so many ancillary things that it's ridiculous and you know it talk faster why are you talking so slow

I'm talking my normal speed

this is uh yeah my wife loves this deep sexy voice I'll tell you that

how would you talk to her with it yeah baby

what's your wife's name I forget

you're not Greg so uh yeah I'm not Greg my wife's name is Eileen

Come on, Eileen.

Eileen that way, and you know it.

Come on, Eileen.

I didn't say that.

Roy said it.

I know.

I was like, we're doing a duo thing back and forth.

I have to admit that that is not only an exceptional voice simulator, it's at least in part exceptional because the person speaking is clearly about 350 pounds heavier than Greg Cody.

You can hear that.

Thank you.

We could play a game where you turn around and then someone in here talks and you have to guess who's doing it.

Ooh, that's a good idea.

Baby.

I think we're doing pretty well with Greg.

Yeah, we just cook.

Although, I also think that Billy could do all of this better.

Billy, would you go outside, please go?

Because I want to do, what is the pixelation called?

I guess that's what it's called.

Pixelation.

You nailed it.

Yeah, good job.

Now, if you're telling me to go do something pixelated, people will know it's me because you just told me to do it.

Right, okay.

Which defeats the purpose of the pixelation.

Let's do something then where no one could ever know it's you.

I want you to put on

it.

Now they'll know because, again, you're saying the meaning.

Just say someone should do it, and then no one will know who it is.

All right, so Greg.

Greg, why don't you go do it, Greg?

I could do that.

If I can find Greg, I'll let him know.

Okay, good.

I still can't get over that.

Zaslo forgot the plane sticks.

Yo, I don't know why you got to keep bringing that up.

Would it kill someone to remind me in the morning?

I got a lot going on.

Tomorrow you're going to bring in a plane stick.

If someone reminds me.

Bring it enough for everybody.

All right, someone please leave the room and or someone go into another room, a total mystery figure, and let's see if we can figure out who that person is based on whatever it is, the maximum disguise that we can pour resources into so that we can actually do this correctly before we try the game that Chris is suggesting, which is I have to turn my back to things and figure out who's talking at the microphone.

We will do that in a moment.

And we will also get to the fact that the state of Florida has three teams in the top 15.

The biggest stunner, FSU, all of a sudden in the top 15, going from 13 and 1 to 2 and 10 to now back in the top 15.

That is a roller coaster ride.

Boy, do they look good.

The overreaction to their beating Alabama to vault them from unranked to number 10

is ridiculous.

Good thing they weren't 10, though.

They were 14.

Well, still, my point is well made.

That kind of thing.

You not only sound like you're 450 pounds, you also, because of how slow you're talking, you sound like you're slurring.

Like you sound like you've had a great deal to drink.

Right.

Well, here's the thing.

You know, I was born this way.

You know, don't make fun of my voice.

Now, I can artificially try to talk even quicker and see how it turns out.

But this is the quickest it goes.

Hey, this is the quickest it goes.

Everybody, this is the quickest it goes.

Yeah,

this is the quickest it goes.

Oh,

this is the quickest it goes.

All right, we go out into the other room where Billy obviously is better at all of these things than we are.

Let's go out to a super secret person who clearly is not Billy.

It's somebody else.

Let's Let's see if we can figure out who this is.

This is good.

And the voice is going to be changed.

Yeah, yeah, you're good.

So we're talking about Pablo.

Oh, he broke another story.

Big deal.

Wow.

We're with the athletic now.

We're breaking serious news.

How about this for breaking news?

Football starts on Thursday.

You're releasing a story on Wednesday.

And what's the story?

Oh, a rich guy did something a little bit sketchy and maybe got around laws.

Who could have seen that coming?

Billionaires getting their way by not following the law and making up fake tree planting companies.

I'm shocked, aghast.

How about this?

Philadelphia Eagles, Thursday, football stars.

Friday, Brazil, Saturday, FIU Penn State, Sunday, Sunday night football.

The NFL full slate is back.

Monday.

This story has what?

A day to exist and we're going to throw a big party to find out that all of a sudden these people are not all on the up and up allegedly?

Who cares?

Why do we lose it?

Like, did Pablo not get enough attention as a child?

And now we have to stop everything that we do every time he puts out a podcast episode and pretend like we've discovered some sort of great thing that's going to change the world.

No one cares.

No one cares about the story.

No one's going to care about it.

Everybody's flying down to throw a party.

They're sending all these do not report until 5 a.m.

on Wednesday as if I want to tell my friends about this story anyway.

Like, I want to talk to my friends.

Did you hear about Kawhi Leonard and Steve Ballmer?

No, no one gives a shit about Steve Ballmer and Kawhi Leonard.

Here's a story: they cheated and they still suck.

They haven't won anything.

Why don't you explore that?

Why don't you find out why they keep cheating and can't win?

That's the interesting thing.

If anything, cheat better.

This isn't even good cheating.

You have more shit.

Who cares about this story?

Who cares about the Clippers?

Who cares about Kawhi Leonards?

Who cares about replanting trees?

Fing ridiculous

i do want to talk about what a great fake business the tree planting my

god dan if you're talking about fraud the one thing you got to do is make sure that you're not selling something that can be traced back to you right hey yeah we planted the tree see that tree right there we planted it and you're like really wow how much it costs you 100 grand no biggie and you just re and you just multiply that for 28 million dollars you plant a trillion trees everybody's happy you replay the replant the rainforest and you never did anything and you get all this money and it doesn't matter what an incredible fraud fraud.

I think that that mystery figure was indeed right when he or she shrugs his or her shoulders and says, Oh, big surprise, a billionaire skirting the rules.

However, one of the shocking things about this to me, many, many years ago, can you look this up for me and see if it is indeed true?

Because it might be an urban myth.

But for many years, the greatest example of cheating in sports with money used to be Eric Dickerson and the way that he was recruited and specifically the way SMU recruited him before SMU went on like this total probation because they were cheating everywhere.

And the story goes and please look this up for me to see if it's true because I've asked Eric Dickerson and he will not confirm it and I can't remember if it's true or urban myth that SMU offered him an oil well

that's 40 years ago

to see that make an appearance in the pros, because of course they're going to try and get around the salary cap.

And Mark Cuban one time got gonged because he just let Dennis Rodman stay at his house for a while because they're very particular about we're legislating equality here.

Bad teams get better.

We need everything to be competitive.

When you circumvent the salary cap, as it looks like the Clippers did, to land Kawhi Leonard with a $28 million no-show job that used to be the exclusive domain of colleges and the way that colleges recruited

before they could pay players is legitimately shocking to me, even understanding that Uncle Dennis and Kawhi were working in the shadows and weren't doing business the way necessarily Ballmer usually does business.

How unlikely is it to you guys that Steve Ballmer is the only billionaire that tried this in a cap sport?

Because

my take after this reporting by Pablo is I think there are some other owners that are getting a little nervous.

Name names.

I thought thought that, and I've never been able to actually confirm this because I thought that

for a while there, when China was making its way in and the Chinese endorsements were making their way into the sport, that there were creative ways that an assortment of owners were leveraging relationships to get people endorsement money because of the relationships that they had in China that would have been outside of the salary cap and has some promises in it that would allow this.

But a $28 million no-show job is beyond the pale.

Like this is to pay someone that much for something that they didn't even have to do an endorsement deal, that the whole thing just seemed kind of bogus because he was hiding behind some plants, some hiding behind some plants and tree planting.

Do we know for sure that he didn't plant any trees?

That's what they say.

So the thing is, if you're going to go through with a good scam, you got to have the backstory, right?

You got to have Kawhi in some Timbalin boots with a shovel.

You got to have him next to a couple of trees, a little bit of dirt on his face, a little bit of sweat.

And you're like, look, he's planting these trees.

What was his no-show job at this company?

No show.

It was to no-show.

Tree planter?

Was he just picturing with the tree?

Like, what was his job?

He was a celebrity endorser, like Robert Downey Jr.

They were spending a lot of money on celebrity endorsements.

I like the LLC that he created to get payment.

KW2.

Like, they're really hiding the

well, I mean, you may as well just named it Salary Cap Cheating LLC.

KW2.

Look at the name of the fake company in it.

Well,

part of the outrage here is the stupidity.

The idea that they have a fake company for Kawhi Leonard and don't even go through the pretense of him actually having a job.

It would be so easy to fake that.

Have him do an ad, have him do a commercial appear in a magazine.

They did none of that.

But to Mike's point, and he's right,

I instantly wondered if this team is so hamhandedly trying to circumvent the salary cap, it's got to be going on not only in the NBA, but in every major state.

I don't think so.

Okay, you say that.

The MLS is overtly doing it with Messi.

I mean, they have rules that designated players can make what they want, but the pot was sweetened with apple, and we just understand the business that Messi brings over to that league, and everybody is okay with it.

But there is just no way on earth that Steve Ballmer was the first person to think of this and execute it.

No way.

Now, other people may be better at covering up their tracks.

I assume, I can only assume, that there are teams right now looking into this kind of thing.

In fairness to Kawhi and Steve Ballmer, sometimes seeds just don't take.

That is true.

You know, like, I don't know if you've ever had to like the school project where your kid brings homes like a pumpkin seed.

You're like, wow, I'm going to have a pumpkin patch in my backyard and now never pay for pumpkins again at Halloween.

And it just never grows.

So it's possible they got Dudd C's and they're the real victims here.

Can you look up for me, please, what are the greatest salary cap scandals in the history of sports?

Because we're fascinated by the numbers.

Juwan Howard and the heat.

The salary cap.

Yeah, after that one, Pat Riley had the famous quote that the NBA office made him feel like he had just gone back from the proctologist and they'd stuck a hundred-foot pole up

because they

overrode the juwan howard trade but when you guys or the juwan howard uh transaction when you guys are cynical and understandably saying ah this probably happens all the time that's one thing i don't agree with it because they're very vigilant about investigating this stuff and the penalties are harsh and will be harsh but they did investigate this previously and found nothing yeah but now you are super vigilant no but my this is my point exactly it's one thing to suspect it It's a whole nother thing to be able to prove it.

And it's in public now and it feels proven.

That one is what's rare about it.

Like, you can have your cynicisms, but Pablo actually did the work.

And the facts on this are something that are going to, they're going to have reverberations throughout the sport.

Hey, listeners, it's Mike.

Hey, Billy Gill.

Hey.

Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.

The fishtail palms, the great memories we made, kids playing in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice-cold can of Miller Life.

It was so hot hot out i know but it was so cold in my hand

we took that for a sip it was crisp it was refreshing oh man there is nothing like cracking open a miller light with your crew and your inner circle bones hell yeah we fist bumped whether it's we we actually really did whether it's that touchdown didn't make a sound but it just bam boom whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups you and i did plenty of that miller light has been the taste that you can depend on for 50 years brewed for flavor with simple ingredients rich toffee notes, and that iconic golden color.

And here's a kicker, Billy.

What?

It's just 96 calories.

What?

3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com/slash dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.