Local Hour: The Haves vs. The Have-Nots

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That's the sound of the fully electric Audi Q6 e-tron and the quiet confidence of ultra-smooth handling.

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Billy, why were you so excited by your Bezos sighting or your Bezos reporting?

I don't think you actually cited him, but we are now treating a rich man like he is a very giant celebrity just because he is- He is a celebrity.

Is he not a celebrity?

No, but it's just because he makes a lot of money.

Like, he's not famous for anything else.

He's just famous for being rich.

Well, I mean, he's not famous just for being rich.

He's not like Kim Kardashian, right?

I mean, I guess he's famous for other things too, but like he, you know, he's a businessman.

He figured out how to, you know, bookstores are dying.

I don't know if you heard.

Bookstores are dying everywhere in part because of him.

But bookstores are dying everywhere.

And he said, you know what?

I have this online bookstore, but also I can send you a stapler and i can have it to you by 10 a.m tomorrow magic yeah it's incredible and this is a man that you know everybody knows one of the world's richest men and uh i was sent an article i don't know why i was sent an article by my father who saw it the miami herald wrote this article jeff bezos unfortunately his mother passed away a few weeks ago

And the article wasn't about his mother eulogy.

It was more a story about how his mother's funeral, again, one of the world's richest men, most famous men who grew up down here.

His mother's funeral was at the funeral home next to Tropical Park, Caballero River.

No.

Yeah.

No.

Same place that

my grandparents' funerals were.

Mayabuleida is buried there.

Yeah.

Well, she's not

buried there.

It'd be weird under a building.

It's a funeral home.

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

The one right by Tropical Park.

Yeah, so

the wake was there, and there was almost like paparazzi photos of him going in with his new wife into this, you know, just funeral home where a lot of old Cuban people for the most part just go and uh have their wakes.

We need to send Tony over there to do a live uh hit from over there so people can see what it is the Caballero funeral home actually is.

Not to make this like morbid, but like that's also where Jose Fernandez's wake was.

It's a who's who of you know, famous wakes.

Wow,

exactly where I thought we were starting today.

Howdy, folks, it's Mike Ryan.

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Hey, listeners, it's Mike.

Hey, Billy Gill.

Hey.

Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.

Fishtail palms, great memories we made, kids playing in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice-cold can of Miller Light.

It was so hot out.

I know, but it was so cold in my hand.

We took that first sip.

It was crisp.

It was refreshing.

Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.

Hell yeah.

We fist bumped.

Whether it's, we actually really did.

Whether it's that touchdown.

Make a sound, but it's just like BAM!

Boom.

Whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups, you and I did plenty of that.

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It's time to put on a suit and roll out the carpet

rank up the tube and gather nail.

It's the best time of the year,

so keep your dial right here.

It's me and you and me again, and the Sueys,

The greatest of life's mistakes and best revelations

brought to you by the greatest fear.

It's the best time of the year,

so keep your dial right here.

It's me and you and me again and the Suez.

And every day you're gonna go to a website

to vote on the sounds that brought you cheer

Cause it's the best time of the year

So keep your dial right here

It's me

and you

It's me again and it's you

it's me, and you, and me again

at the suit.

That kind of thing,

Chris, Chris, were you looking at your father's face throughout all of that?

Like, your father is never happier, never more radiant than when something is about him.

That is as happy as I have seen your father.

Tell me the last time that you were that happy at your son's wedding?

I mean, isn't that human nature?

You know,

I'm featured.

I hear my voice singing.

What could be better?

Were you watching your son's wedding video after the fact thinking to yourself, man, this should have been more me?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Of course.

Do your sons, does your wife, do they know that they were raised and love a man who is a serial narcissist this way that makes every single thing about him, including his son's Father's Day, which is now about, should be about your granddaughter.

See, I blame my late parents.

I'm sorry, mom and dad, but they encouraged that.

You know,

I remember driving around with mom and dad at a very early age, singing the game of love, which was a big hit at the time.

What were they encouraging?

They were encouraging me to perform, you know, to sing, to do little shows for them.

And I grew up to be whatever the hell I am.

They saw you as a star?

Yeah, I think so.

i have a clip here of one of my of my dad reading one of the nominees and in this clip it's him reading about himself you can hear kind of like pablo you can hear him smiling while reading a clip about you absolutely you absolutely you when your father is delighted by only himself you can absolutely hear the smile in his voice greg cody dismisses youth sports teams for not earning donations you can hear him like greg cody crushes youth sports team you can hear the the smile.

The SUI winners are going to be announced today.

I suspect that your father has won some.

How long?

How long is that montage of your father just screwing up all of those SUE readings?

We have a minute 35 of my dad screwing up all the lines he had to read, and then we have a five and a half minute montage of all the winners.

All right, well, before we get to the winners, let's just play the montage of, because let's celebrate today because we've got to put the SUIs away.

And now it's not just that we're sprinting toward football season.

Pablo's going to drop another Pablo, and it's a bomb like pablo does it well i we can't talk about it yet you'll tell me off air i can't even tell you off air because uh this it's going to be the story of the week though it's going to be a it's going to be a a big pablo drop why don't you trust me bigger bigger than any of previous pablo drops wow we'll see and so that's the expectation and we will see if that happens or if he under delivers oh subject matter i can't tell you that's not even a hint huh yes he's uh but he's he's gonna he is merging with the New York Times and the Athletic.

And on a football week, I think he's going to have the talk story in sports.

There's this tension that you yourself have created in this office.

And I don't know if you're aware of this, Dan.

There's very much a case of the haves versus the have-nots.

And it started today where the haves know what this Pablo story is, and the have-nots do not.

And it's being talked about, like, oh, we need to plan and do this and that, and we're going to have, and it's going to be this huge thing.

And then everyone's like, what the hell is going on?

Does any, do you know?

I don't know what's going on.

Yeah, Zaz doesn't know.

Zaz looked at me.

He's like, do do you know?

I was like, Zaz, buddy, welcome.

It's not a.

I thought this was an inclusive place.

Exclusive.

It's not a haves and have-nots story.

It's that evidently it was some work that Samson and Amin had to do with Pablo and for Pablo.

And so they were, I guess it's not haves and have-nots, but I guess that there were multiple layers to this story.

Damn, I thought we were definitely doing a have-and-have-not thing.

I was kind of reveling in it.

I definitely know.

Mike's a have.

Yeah, I don't know.

No, they didn't want to tell me and i did not want to know i'm left out uh but now i have to get involved because there's there are legal matters and because we're starting something with the new york times and uh because i think pablo's gonna drop a pablo here and i think it's the biggest story pablo has had i know what the story is no you went there i don't know what i i pulled dan aside before the show and we were just talking like how great is it that we know this

they were talking like we weren't even in the room carl what do you think what are we gonna do for this

just like what if we weren't even, like we were ghost people, they were talking around us.

It's crazy.

We made it seem like Carl knew too, but Carl doesn't know.

Wow.

This is,

yeah, just

having

Ethan asked, why are they saying it?

I'm like, Ethan, they're afraid you're going to scoop Pablo, bud.

That's why they're not saying they don't trust you.

But Ethan can't be trusted here.

I've got to tell you, this was all by design.

This was exactly what Dan was going for.

So Greg Cody was reading in the Sueys.

He was the host of the Suez.

It was a spectacular Sueys, but we're about to leave them behind as we go into football.

Got a lot to get to with Zaslow because he was in the middle of the big games and his suite.

Lucy was in the middle of everything.

The University of Miami is in the middle of everything.

But first, let's just listen to Greg Cody.

He's not always smiling during this.

I've seen him enraged.

He yells at his son.

I see you, Chris.

I see you and your dad recreating.

Jeremy, that's Greg breathing.

You just asked me.

Who's breathing?

Awesome breathing.

Holy cow.

Pardon me for living breathing.

A little safety blanket.

It's a nice little reminder.

He's still kicking.

Thank you.

Some breathing.

Thank you.

I appreciate that, everybody.

He was a giant nostril.

Why are you winded?

We are.

I'm not winded.

Hey, you're not allowed to say, Greg, get in front of the mic and then not be okay with the ramifications of that.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

When I sit back here, everybody yells at me.

All right, so the

fair enough.

Ridiculous.

You know what?

Fair enough.

We hadn't accounted for the size of those nostrils.

Cody nostrils.

His parents used to encourage him to breathe.

thank you.

I've been breathing every day of my life.

I don't know about the rest of you.

Well, yeah, the rest of us have, too.

Oh, well, what are you complaining about then?

The pot kettle situation.

Hank Azaria would tell you that being a voice actor can be hard because of the number of takes of things.

And Greg Cody, during the Sueys, this is a lot of work.

He's doing a lot of work.

He's doing a lot of reading.

And he's recreating the dynamic I have with my father on television, which is he's getting furious at his son for his son just asking him to keep doing the job a little bit better.

A father does not like to be corrected like this when he is stubborn and male as Greg Cody is, or as my father is.

And so, Greg also gets mad while smiling while reading his name.

So, let's just hear the mess-ups of Greg Cody.

You know what?

Hang on, hang on, I'm not plugged in yet.

What is going on with you?

Okay, here we go.

And now, the

and now the

and now the hang on

Stugas dismisses Shohai Otani.

Hey.

What?

Shohai Otani.

Tony Kalatiud, Limited Fake Nicola Yokitnan.

Dan Levatar disrespects Black History Month while talking to PK Suban.

Did I pronounce that right?

PK Suban.

While talking to PK Suban.

Greg Cody dismisses youth sports teams for not earning donations.

Greg Cody dismisses Gary Furman.

Nobody knows who Gary Furman is.

Gary Furman's in the same category as.

I'll leave that in.

Please don't.

How do you want me to pronounce Tatas?

Oshia Jackson Jr.

Oce.

Pat Ford.

Is it Ford or Fordy?

Forde.

Steve Kerr.

Kerr.

Steve Kerr?

You don't know Steve Kerr's name?

I mean, you know, that kind of thing.

Stormy Daniels.

Scroll down past laughs.

Hang on, it's making me jump through hoops here.

I gotta...

Hang on.

Are you jumping through hoops?

Is that what you're doing?

All right.

Dominique's...

Hang on.

Dominique Foxworth played through spinning.

Dominique's...

Dominique Foxworth.

Diamonds look like pee-pee.

Andrew Sicilian.

Andrew Sicilano.

Sicilano, right?

Siciliano.

Ciciliano.

Perfect.

Take the rest of the day off.

Thank you.

Nobody knows who Gary Furman is.

You want me to say Tetas or Tetas or?

That is not true.

I mean, down here they do.

There's a fake Gary Fuhrman lurking around during Mike's five-hour marathon sessions to preview University of Miami Notre Dame, and he's dirty.

And for the record, he just did a rewatch of Sex in the City still holds up.

There's a fake Gary Fuhrman sneaking around Mike Ryan's chat.

I think Mike Ryan essentially got this game right when he predicted what he did about the University of Miami.

And I will get to that story later in the show because we did discuss it some yesterday.

Welcome back, Ruben Bain.

God, it was nice to see a defensive player for Miami.

Well, he's a pretty good player, but also it was sort of weird that he wasn't that player last year, that their defense was that bad with him in it.

And to see Ruben Bain do that to that offensive line was super exciting and almost as exciting as, oh, they can be a physical defense and not get a ton of penalties and not make a lot of ton of dumb mistakes.

Wait a minute, did they fix their defense in one game?

Or is that a first-time quarterback that doesn't make them pay for their mistakes?

Because it looked like they fixed their defense.

I mean, and Ruben Bain in particular, I felt like I was watching the best defensive player in the country.

He was incredible.

He was in the right.

I know, you know, why was he on that side of the field when the ball was kicked in the air?

But it's like he was around the ball.

He was around every play the entire game.

He was swarming the ball.

He was hustling.

That ball should have been intercepted three different times.

It was hilarious that Ruben Bain not only intercepted it, but then ran 15 yards.

But Ruben Baines, I was listening to someone from PFF talk about Ruben Bain's performance on Saturday.

Ruben Bain's freshman year, he had the second best pass rushing grade for a true freshman in the history of PFF, only behind Miles Garrett.

Miles Garrett was the only freshman pass rusher to ever impress PFF that way.

For the record, and we saw it, you can see it with your eye, right?

Calais Campbell did some of this too.

His first year, you were looking at him and saying, oh, can that be Jerome Brown category of pass rusher where this guy's going to get physically stronger and he's already that much bigger and faster and stronger than everybody, but he was not at all that player last year.

I have to correct you, Dan.

He's not bigger than everybody.

Like he is put together.

He is incredibly strong, but his size is not prototypical there.

In the same way, I'm not drawing comparisons.

I think Aaron Donald's the best offensive player I've ever seen.

But Aaron Donald, the measurables, it's the reason why he wasn't taken number one overall.

Ruben Bain has to make up for some deficiencies with his body type, but last year he got hurt on like the third snap against Florida, missed several games, and his body never got fully fit after that.

This offseason, got a nutritionist, got healthy, and we're seeing the guy that won that game almost single-handedly against Clemson his freshman year.

Chris, can you hear his breathing?

I mean,

can you hear me?

I don't want to stop the show, but it's just, I can't go.

I can barely hear Mike.

Why are you wended?

Can we put what Ruben Bain, the game plan, he wrote it in his notebook.

We've got exclusive access to this.

We decided last minute that we're not going to show this.

A lot of curse words.

We can describe it for the people.

No, it's just bleep ND, bleep ND, bleep ND.

Yeah, but the bleep is shown.

My favorite was bleep noter dick.

It looks like what a 12-year-old would do to a composition book.

It is a notebook from a dirty 12-year-old that's hiding this from their parents.

They've just learned curse words.

This is him very much appearing like he's in a film room.

He takes his notebook out to take notes, the notes as he's watching film, and one of the notes is bleep Jeremiah Love Bleep.

Bleep noter dick.

And at one point, he writes down an initial number on the sack total and then after watching the film, scratches it out and then lands on three sacks.

Now, he only got a half sack, but he impacted the game more than any other defender.

My favorite part of this journal is just like you used to when you were in school,

he's got the date in the top right corner.

Everybody knows when you're in school, you got to put the date in the top right corner.

But then also at the very bottom where he wrote it again, he had 8 slash 31 slash 25 at the top where he dates it.

But then at the bottom, just to remind himself, August 31st.

Yeah.

You can't put that out on social media.

I don't want to be the wet blanket here, but if Ruben Bain is not the player he is, a coach is going to say, What are you doing?

Never do that again.

But because he's the best offensive player on the team and one of the best in the country in a top 10 NFL draft pick, they go, Hey, that was funny, Ruben.

Keep it up.

In fairness, we don't know what the coaches were saying in the meeting, so he might have been taking notes.

Philippe Noter Dick?

I've never heard noter dick before.

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I want to to talk about home security for a minute.

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Don Lebatard.

And then that's Stafford through him 25 and 2.

Oh, there's a brand new kid in town out of BYU.

Stugats.

They call him Buka.

His quarterback is not named Tua.

Yeah, he is Buka.

This is the Dan Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Can you guys censor this sum so that people can see that this is a piece of notebook paper?

This is not a game plan, okay?

This is this is a child who is scribbling and is like yes i'm gonna wreck sunday night because miami's defense is back before we get to all of the miami things though that we have not talked about because uh i also want to get to enter miami and notre dame notre dame and miami was so big that we've got luis suarez spitting on a seattle staffer as billy said yesterday they're called the staffers yeah they're they're the league's gold cup champions three nothing uh they they the one they they won the trophy that confuses me league's cup yeah called it a gold cup and i and i said it not billy

Second year tournament, a lot of heritage there.

People are pissed, dude.

I follow a ton of Inner Miami accounts, and I have very rarely seen fans this upset

at a team, its leadership.

Zaz, when you mentioned Inner Miami before on our show, you kind of...

admitted that you were uneasy about how unlikable they are and fade into it.

I was like half joking when we did this like a week or two ago.

I'm like, I don't think I like this team, you know, because it feels like they're constantly cheating or they're skirting the rules they're just they're they they just feel dirty and i was i was like half serious half trying to be funny and Then you see what happened on Sunday night, which I mean, I didn't watch the game because I'm watching the canes, you know, but you see the clips afterward.

And Luis Suarez, who, who's got a reputation anyway?

Oh, wait, a reputation.

He bites.

He's bitten people.

Right.

Bad dude.

Right.

He's got a reputation anyway.

It's one of these guys like, really?

Now I got to cheer for Luis Suarez.

He's on Inter Miami now.

All right, fine, I guess so.

And then you got this melee after or late in the game, they called it with a little bit of time left.

Not only did Inner Miami get their shit kicked in and they lose 3-0,

but then you have this super team who's fighting Seattle.

They're not fighting some club from overseas.

They're fighting the Seattle Sounders.

And then you have Luis Suarez, who straight up

spits in the face, not even of another player.

I don't know if that would would make you feel better, but in the face of a staffer.

And you got Sergio Bisquettes who's actually throwing punches out there.

I'll tell you something.

I'm out on this team.

I think I'm out.

I'm out on Intro Miami.

Are you out or you think you're out?

No, say it or don't say it out.

That's a good question.

It's not, I'm out, I think I'm out.

Out or not?

No, are you?

Wait a minute.

You got caught up in a.

Good question.

Look, or is this conveniently time because football season started?

Let us know when you decide.

Another good question.

I'm going to decide right now.

I am

out on Into Miami.

I'm out.

I'm out.

There's so much for

giveable.

No, not the right sound.

You guys missed the un.

They're so unlikable, this Inter Miami team.

It was a breathing.

This happened two days ago.

All right.

Has anyone of Intermiami said anything yet?

Has Luis Suarez said anything yet?

This is an important point.

No one has said anything yet.

Yeah, what Zazzlo's saying right now is part of the reason why a lot of fans are upset upset is that where's the communications from the media relationship?

Their media relations has always been awful.

And now you have this here where you're not even giving out, a team's not giving a statement when it's on video for everybody to see.

He is straight up spitting in the face of another person.

There was also a really ugly clash among supporters in the streets of Seattle.

I don't think there's ever been a stranger pair of colors to be seen in the streets fighting than...

pink and neon green.

Yeah, ugly, terrible.

And it's like they're, Dan, they're afraid of doing or saying anything because it might upset Messi.

Like, that's why they haven't said anything yet because, oh, if they scold Luis Suarez, what's Leno Messi going to say?

It's like, I don't like this team.

I don't like this team.

No, there should.

The league needs out of Miami.

The league needs to do something about Luis Suarez's behavior.

No, they're afraid to.

It needs to be very punitive.

That was straight up yes.

He'll be suspended.

Well, what are they waiting for?

Any more evidence?

Maybe that's what Pablo is going to talk about.

It is not.

I can also tell you with conviction, conviction, it is not.

We know.

When's the next tournament that this team is in?

MLS playoffs would be the next tournament.

When's that start?

Probably during like a huge football weekend, and you won't be able to watch it anyway.

Yeah, nobody will notice.

You'll be watching a bigger game.

By the way, they play Seattle again in less than three weeks, so that'll be must be.

The winner gets the cup?

No, no.

You know what?

Let me say something about all this controversy, okay?

The reason people are all upset about Luis Serrara's spitting and them losing this game and the brawl and all that stuff is that they continue to underperform on the field.

I'll say it.

Inner Miami has been a massive disappointment thus far in the Leonal Messi era.

Not on the business side.

Not on the business side, but on the field.

The way they lost in the first round of the playoffs last year, the way they lost this Leagues Cup.

Now, they did get to the quarters of the FIFA Club World Cup, which was nice.

Getting to a cup final is also no small achievement.

They do have two trophies to their name in the the time that he's been here.

That may not be enough.

And I think the gold standard, from what I've gathered from casual fans, is he needs to win the MLS championship in the postseason.

Yeah, and they failed so miserably last year that this has to be better.

But the President's Cup doesn't matter, or whatever the hell they call it.

The supporters' shield.

And not the League's Gold Cup either.

No, the League's Cup doesn't matter.

The Supporter's Shield doesn't matter.

They're nice little trophies.

They're not what you hang your hat at.

What do you want them to win?

The World Cup?

I want them to win the MLS Cup, the league championship of the league they play in.

Despite all these ancillary tournaments, they need to win the main cup, which is the MLS Cup.

I feel that we are missing what seems like a hugely symbolic sports team in the middle of today's America, right?

Today's America with all its divisions and all the places where, of course, you have to cater to Senor Leonor Messi for whatever he wants, because he's the whole reason anyone's talking about soccer.

Now, this diminishes MLS, but him running that sport while behind a paywall and while that business doesn't bring the traffic that they thought it was going to bring, they're making a stadium here, right near the airport, with like a ton of precious land, the most valuable land there is right next to the airport to support this team that now represents Miami for better or for worse.

And we got to do it on our team that he glosses over a lot when he says he's got a reputation.

He bites people like he's a biter.

It's not, it's plural.

He bites people plural.

On grand stages.

And he spit in someone's face, and he's representing Miami horrifically here at this time.

He also scored 20 goals last year.

At this time in America, spitting in someone's face at the center of that.

I don't think there's ever a good time to do that.

No, but

how many of the greatest sports controversies?

I remember Roberto Alomar doing this.

This has been done in football a couple of times.

Romanowski.

Romanowski does it.

People who spit in your face, like no matter what level of savage you are, we all understand that's a disrespect that can't can't be abided by anybody.

I actually think maybe you could argue it was a good time to do that because it was during Miami Notre Dame.

I got around to it.

I was alerted to it on yesterday's show that we did for YouTube.

And it's a real ugly scene.

But I think Zaz is really speaking for the local South Florida fan because one of the tether among all these Inner Miami accounts that are complaining is they feel disenfranchised.

They feel like they've been boxed out as this club goes for the marquee and gets influencers on the sideline.

They can't afford to go to the games.

They don't necessarily think that this club is fan-friendly.

That narrative is out there.

And the more unlikable that they become on and off the pitch, the less results that there are, the volume gets turned up on, hey, we were your day ones.

Before Messi and all that came over here, this was about a community and you've kind of forgotten about that.

I was way in the first few years.

I had season tickets the first four years of the team.

I was way in those first few years.

What they got going on right now is the first year that I haven't been a season ticket holder.

What they got going on right now, I don't dig it.

Like, I don't like this team.

I don't like this team.

How do you feel about that, Cody?

That you've got something happening?

What are you laughing about?

It's because it's insane.

I was on this team before it became popular.

They got the greatest soccer player in the world.

Now I'm out.

They did too much for me.

What did they do for me?

Now you're the greatest soccer player in the world.

They haven't won anything.

I'm not arguing with you on that.

They've won two trophies, and i think making it to the the the fifa club billy's right though

as impressive as anything a an mls team has ever done

more impressive than the two trophies right but but we all look the standard you guys can't dispute this the standard is messy win the big one we i mean

based down to its basest of stupidity 100 messier well it's not just messy and your super friends that you brought in

i want to see bitter i want to see messi's face as he scrolls through social media as dan lebetard says messy win the big one and he's like like, which one is he talking about?

I'm not doing MLS copy.

That's the problem.

He's not committed to this league, if we're going to be honest.

Greg, you're with me on this one.

If he wants to cement his legacy, he's got to win an MLS Cup.

Because all the other things that he's done to fail on the lowest of stages, the MLS, is an embarrassment.

You can't succeed on the biggest of stages and puke all over yourself every year on the smallest of stages, which is what's been going on.

It's not just spitting in the face, it's 3-0.

You're losing 3-0, and you're just

baby.

What I'm saying is that if they won the MLS Cup last year, instead of taking a national crap in the first round against the lowest seed, if they won

Sunday night instead of losing 3-0,

nobody's worried.

It's a minor story.

The brawl the fans brought up.

No, the spinning in the face should be a big story.

That should never be a minor story.

You don't think it'd been a big story if they won 3-0 and then they still have the brawl?

I don't think it would be nearly as talked about as now.

I totally disagree.

Okay, I think

what you're hearing on the group chats with

Miami fans right now is because they continue to disappoint on the field.

That exacerbates everything you're talking about in terms of, oh, they're not fan-friendly.

They don't treat their fans right.

We've been here since the beginning.

Everybody would be thrilled if they had won as much as they were expected to when Messi signed with this team.

They haven't.

They've underperformed.

Then they skip the all-star games.

They're at cold play concerts.

They're buying groceries at Publix.

Like, let's focus on soccer already, you know?

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Don Lebatard.

I feel like we need to normalize saying the scientific terms for organs on the air.

Like if someone, yes, you know what?

If someone takes a foul ball to the penis, we should just say he took a foul ball to the penis.

Stugats.

Let free kick hit him right in the cocka-doodle-doo.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

I can feel the audience.

I can feel the audience, okay, at this point in our careers doing this for as long as we've been doing it, complaining about soccer talk, even if it's a spitter and Luis Suarez,

even if it should be a big story because it's football, football, football time, and everyone gorges and wants to gorge more on this week of of NFL football after the insanity of this weekend in college football.

And so excuse me for not bowing at the beginning of this show to Mighty Football and the specifics of what happened with last night with Belichick, which has no precedent.

It has no precedent in the history of American sports, that he would allow more points than he ever has in a game.

It's awesome.

Delicious.

And that everybody would watch.

It's like watching Bear Bryant or Vince Lombardi or something just stripped to its nudest, almost like outside that door that Pablo sniffed out and that ring camera that Pablo recreated.

You know what I learned about Pablo?

I asked him this this weekend.

I'm like, when you recreated Belichick leaving the room, did you not think to take your shirt off in the recreation or were you embarrassed?

And I heard they debated it for hours in the Pablo Torre finds out universe and he wouldn't do it because he's a coward.

He wouldn't do it shirtless.

They did think about it and he didn't recreate it that way.

Belichick has never been undressed like that before in the history of us watching football, a coronation, a celebration.

He's a small underdog at home against a TCU team that is usually nationally relevant and you see right off the bat how far behind he is.

Something I thought of last night that I didn't believe a lot of people were thinking of.

North Carolina last year produced the single most surprising half of football that I saw in college football last year.

At home, they were losing to James Madison and allowed 52 points

at the half against the James Madison team that finished third in the conference.

I mean, I think if you wanted to see North Carolina fail, it worked out perfectly, right?

In that first drive, all the hype was coming in.

You're like, Belichick's going to come in.

He's going to change everything.

You're like, I've never seen anything.

I can't prove it.

And in the first drive, they drove right down the field.

Like, oh, my God, we're great.

Like, if you're a North Carolina fan, we're great.

Michael Jordan's high-fiving people.

Everybody's so excited.

And then the rest of the game happens.

I got to tell you, it's been quite the offseason leading into this debut for UNC for Bill Belichick, and a lot of people have questioned his legacy.

Nothing has made me doubt his legacy more than him settling on Freddie Kitchens as a good guy to run my offense.

Why would anyone have expected different things?

I'm not talking about last night, but like this season.

They're going to stink.

All right.

UNC is going to stink and Belichick's going to stink.

And you know how I know this?

Because his entire coaching career, if he doesn't have Brady, he stinks.

Yeah.

They're going to stink.

And

I have actual evidence to support this.

If Tom Brady is not his quarterback, his whole career, he sucks.

And they're going to suck.

Yeah, and people are going to laugh at him nationally because he's not likable.

Unless you live in or around Boston, you don't like Bill Belichick.

I don't think they like him so much in Boston these days.

You could be right.

Well, we've never seen, never,

it has no precedent.

Bill Belichick unraveling throughout this offseason in a way like

everybody's looking like, what's happening over there, comes to the college game and triggers

because this was the thing that I was thinking about that I thought was funny is like, oh, okay, look how they do it in North Carolina when it's Chapel Bill for the Deion Sanders celebration.

That doesn't look like what Deion Sanders was doing in Colorado.

That's Bill Belichick getting in the game with the fame and the name, but through management, right?

Deion did it through player.

Belichick did it through management.

I kept thinking, do people understand that North Carolina was as bad last season as Colorado was bad when Deion inherited Colorado?

What Deion did the first game out when he beat TCU.

I've never seen a graphic like that in my life, by the way.

I was watching that and I I was thinking, man, this is a really bad quarterback.

No, and they put a graph damn near two hours after his last completed pass.

They timestamped it.

Last completed pass, 8.12 p.m.

Eastern.

That's one of the worst quarterbacking performances I think I've ever seen at the P4 level.

That was at 9.30 p.m.

Eastern.

It had been over an hour and 15 minutes since a completed pass.

Not good, Dan.

But where does the game pass you by

the spectacle that his offseason was,

the cost of what it was to get Bill Belichick and that name to North Carolina?

People disrespect how hard it was to do what Deion Sanders did, taking a team in Colorado that was what this North Carolina team was and making them beat.

That was

making that TCU team, beating this TCU team, which created an expectation for last night that while it was erased after the first drive, all of you were on the first drive like, Like, well, Cowherd, you saw

Colin Cowherd's tweet.

Colin Cowherd, who has mastered the troll business of how do you get the engagement by being wrong because nothing that you say actually matters, wasn't really sure what to expect from Chappelle Bill.

But after that drive, I have him as the second best college coach I've ever seen.

You think he's trolling?

Just below saving.

I think he's trying to be funny.

And he's failing.

I think he's being serious.

But I don't think he minds being historically wrong.

I think he said great hyperbole about Arch Manning as well.

Lewis, I don't know if you ended up finding that tweet, but there was a tweet from Colin Cowherd from, I think, 2024.

The wrong business pays well.

It doesn't matter when everyone's talking, right?

I don't know.

You guys have...

Did Gilbert Arenas just hire Skip Bayless?

Are they together now?

Like, that's how...

Yeah, that's how that one ages, where you just go out at the end trolling people, and

wrong doesn't end up mattering in any way.

People will still associate Colin Cowherd forever with sports.

It doesn't matter how wrong he is.

That's just sports people overreacting to thinking that right and wrong matters.

Gilbert Arnold got like rated a couple weeks ago, right?

That's just done.

That was resolved?

I mean,

he turned it into content.

Overrated or properly rated?

Properly rated.

How can you be more wrong than this?

This was before,

this was when Kyle DeBoer took over for Nick Sabin.

I'm sorry, Calen DeBoer.

Who cares?

He's got to earn it.

That was probably right after the Georgia victory, right?

September 28th.

I don't know.

It wasn't such a crazy thing to say that day.

That was a great performance in Alabama that game.

And it was.

A year later, you can just say, ah, I was just kidding.

But then they lost to Vanderbilt very next week.

Yeah.

Alabama's now 5-5 in their last 10.

Yeah.

According to CFB on Fox on Twitter, through just 14 games at Alabama, Kalen DeBoer has matched the unranked loss total that Nick Sabin tallied over 235 games.

Four unranked losses.

Kalen DeBoer has lost four games so far as coach of Alabama, where they've been a two-touchdown favorite.

Lost the game outright.

Sabin was 131-2 in those games

as a 14-point favorite.

That was some performance against FSU.

So, Mike, how did it happen?

Because I will get more into Belichick over the course of the show, But how did it happen?

Did you ever give your public opinion?

Because you were talking for five hours on your show and you were also talking here, but I don't think I ever heard publicly you think that FSU was bad.

No, I never got that take out there.

I'm grateful because, yeah, everything that I'd heard from FSU had reminded me so much of like when Miami thought that they were good and they would get smacked in the face by bigger teams from the undersized quarterback saying Nick can't save them now to saying FSU is the best defense to shutting the media out and just people reporting on vibes.

I thought it was going to be a bad moment yet again for FSU and Mike Norvell.

Couldn't have been more wrong.

Couldn't have been more stunned by a result.

Castellanos didn't need to throw.

Gus Malzan, I don't know how he's surprising folks with his offense, but Alabama came out completely unprepared to play.

And credit to the fans at the newly renovated Doke Campbell Stadium, which actually has fewer seats now.

They were loud.

They affected that game.

ACC actually, I thought there was going to be a well-established narrative going into that Miami-Notre Dame game where the ACC was a joke and they performed relatively admirably despite Clemson losing at home.

Yeah, that game was awesome.

And then you see the entire crowd storm the field after the game.

They got fined, right?

They get 50,000.

50 grand thousands.

I'm a little conflicted with the storming the field in that spot.

The storm in the field jumped the sharks so many years ago.

It does not have the same meaning it used to.

You're FSU.

You've won national championships.

I understand you were unranked in their number eight and they're big bad Alabama.

You've won national championships.

You're storming the field?

I don't know about that.

The only fans who should storm the field at the only time they should do it is if you win a national championship.

Then there's no more games next week.

Storm the field.

Do whatever you want.

But that, for the first game of a season,

you're beating a down Alabama team that's about to fire its head coach a year from now.

Why celebrate that like you did?

$50,000.

It's ridiculous.

Craig's getting off his old man takes here.

Like, he's getting off the storm the field, the notebook.

You don't write that in a notebook.

Like, you're getting off some serious old man takes.

Well, speaking of old men, Don Shula, didn't like it when his players spiked the ball after a touchdown.

Go on.

And his classic line was, act like you've you've been there before.

FSU fans, you've cheered two champion teams.

Act like you've been there.

What are you doing?

I've never seen someone go from 13 and 1 to 2 and 10.

It's never been seen before.

No one expected anything from FSU in that football game.

A two-touchdown underdog at home?

That program?

I think I understand Nick Sabin leaving that program

certainly couches this discussion, but it also isn't a coincidence that he decided to leave when the advantages that Alabama had went away and parody entered.

This breathing is crazy.

It's crazy.

I'm really glad you're distracting.

Man, getting him all worked up.

I'll sit back here until I'm speaking.

And then I'll be back.

I hope you're all right.

But, anyways, you're messing with me now.

There's some people that are really reveling in the end of Alabama's dominance.

That's a 20-year run.

20 years running the sport, and now they got to deal with almost every other blue blood program in college football, having to reshape themselves.

I'm going to play this sound courtesy of Barcelon Sports.

This kind of speaks for where people are with Alabama and enjoying this.

Alabama is officially dead.

Dead.

It's over.

It's over, Alabama.

You f ⁇ ing sucking pieces of.

You f ⁇ ing f ⁇ ing penthouse living motherfuckers.

Used to sit up there and used to piss on all of us.

When you beat us, you would say, oh, well, you know, you should be happy.

You put up a good fight.

F you, you.

Your time.

Now you're down here in the suck.

How does it feel?

And the best part is, I know it feels worse for you than it feels for us because you're not used to being here.

For 20

years, you have lived a charm existence where everything revolved around you.

Everything you had, you got, everything you wanted was at the tips of your fingers.

You never had to worry about

entering a single f ⁇ ing weekend.

And now, every f weekend, you're going to feel the existential threat of losing games that you didn't have to think twice about in the past.

He then later goes on to add, I'm going to drink your tears, urinate them out, and then drink them again.

Can we just put up on the move?

Let's put up on the screen as well, Ruben Bain's notebook.

There it is.

You can see it bleeped out.

There's the notebook.

It's fun without the F-words.

College football's back, though.

What do you mean?

It's all been F-words.

What we just did for the last 30 seconds is the it is the voice of college football is back

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