Hour 1: In Some Cirlces (feat. Andy Garcia)

Alright, Smirnoff.

Official vodka of the NFL, the world's number one vodka.

Here's the deal: game day is everything.

The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again.

Smirnoff belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff.

Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

They've been doing this since 1864, which is.

I don't even want to do the math.

A long time.

They're award-winning.

They make cocktails super easy and they're all about bringing fans together.

So yeah, we do game days.

That's their thing.

And if you're over 21, you should too.

Grab a bottle of Smirnoff at your local retailer and head to Smirnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day.

Please drink responsibly.

Smirnoff, number 21 vodka.

Distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume.

The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York.

Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.

Are you coming off a losing fantasy week?

That means you're one week closer to losing your league and that's pretty stressful, which can lead to nighttime teeth grinding.

Dentech's mouth guards help with nighttime teeth grinding.

Dentech wants to prevent teeth grinding while raising the fantasy stakes with a once-in-a-lifetime punishment.

If you want your league's last place finisher to live in infamy at the 2026 Football All-Star Game, sign up for the ultimate fantasy football punishment at dentech.com/slash dentech.com ultimate punishment.

No purchase necessary.

Open to legal residents of the 50 U.S.

states and D.C.

who are 21 years of age or older.

Contest ends on December 8th, 2025.

Voidwear prohibited.

For details and official rules, visit dentech.com/slash ultimate punishment.

That's the sound of the fully electric Audi Q6 e-tron and the quiet confidence of ultra-smooth handling.

The elevated interior reminds you this is more than an EV.

This is electric performance redefined.

This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stew Gats Podcast.

Chris Cody, I need a Hampton Farms nuttiest fan update.

We had a competition between an Alabama fan shooting a middle finger and a couple, a loving couple that was making sex jokes.

Who was the winner?

Thanks to Hampton Farms.

Congrats to the Alabama fan.

Shooting the bird.

They are this week's nuttiest fan of the week, presented by Hampton Farms.

Get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official snack nut of the tailgate.

And be sure to keep an eye out for Lucy at Iowa State this week if you think you are your team's nuttiest fan.

Billy was applauding there, even though I have found that Billy recently is anti-applause.

There's been a turning.

I don't know what happened here.

I have loved The Rock since college.

Like, I went to school with Dwayne Johnson.

He was at the University of Miami at the same time that I was there.

And he's always been charismatic and kind.

I feel like everyone loved The Rock there for about 30 years.

And over the last few years, some things have

changed where not everybody loves The Rock.

He's Cross Vin Diesel.

But he got a 15-minute standing ovation the other day for what's the name of the new movie that he's in where you can't even recognize him.

He's got so much makeup on that he looks like someone else.

You wouldn't be able to tell from looking at Dwayne Johnson in his next movie that that's Dwayne Johnson.

The smashing machine.

Why did he get a so?

What was the 15-minute standing ovation about?

Was it just

what that movie was?

His performance.

Well, I mean, these Hoity-Toity film festivals in Europe, they like to give 15-minute standing ovations.

And so it was basically like someone got a five-minute standing ovation like 20 years ago, and then now it's just inside.

Oh, we got to be Tommy Toppers every time.

But the Smashing Machine apparently is kind of right at the course.

There were early screenings, and it was reported on that it was just kind of a weird experience.

Everyone acknowledged that Dwayne Johnson had a great performance, but the rest of the movie was kind of making fun of the genre itself.

It seems as though the editor

got in the lab and took that personally because now 100%,

even though it's early on Rotten Tomatoes, and it does seem we already know that Dwayne Johnson has secured a starring role in a Martin Scorsese flick.

This is how this goes.

He wants to win an Oscar.

He's doing A24 stuff.

He's trying to do A24 stuff because he wants to win an award as an Oscar.

He's also lost like 60 pounds recently.

He looks terrible.

Oh, you heard that.

He looks terrible.

I mean, compared to how he used to look, does he not look a little decrepit?

No, I think he looks fantastic.

How old is he?

He's decrepit.

He's my age.

I went to school with him.

Yeah, he doesn't look great.

What?

Yeah.

He looks a lot better.

He doesn't look like The Rock anymore.

We can't live in a world where The Rock wins an Oscar.

Can we all agree on that?

Put her on the poll, Juju, at Levittard's show.

Can you live in a world where The Rock wins an Oscar?

I mean, he's having everybody wait for him on set for hours on end.

Then he wins an Oscar Magic.

Like, what's next?

And the 15-minute standing ovation is a bit much, right?

By like 14 minutes, a bit much.

Like, you don't need to stand and apply.

Nothing is that good.

I feel like after a minute, I got it.

Yeah, exactly right.

That's just about the Venice fans and the Venice Film Festival more than it is about the actual movie and The Rock, is it not?

100%.

Now, I know what you're worried about, him winning an Oscar, the acceptance speech.

It's got to be a circus.

Don't worry, he won't get to speak because Adrian Brody is still on that stage.

Do you actually think he's going to win an Oscar?

Dan, will this get you to watch an award show?

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show.

Is anything so good that it deserves a 15-minute standing ovation?

It's just annoying.

And if you're even there, you have to be like, can we, like, who's the person that like sits first to end the 15 minutes?

At seven minutes, somebody's like.

Yeah, because like, how do you, how do you guys all decide, okay, 15 minutes, we're fine.

Let's let's sit now that's on dwayne it shows a look i like dwayne done a lot for the university of miami big wrestling fan character of the man you got to tell some people after four minutes you're like all right you just start you just start leaving if you're the rock yeah packing up your stuff

i insist

are they even real glasses do we even know if he's wearing real glasses all of a sudden the guy can't see like get out of here i don't like it i don't like it leave glasses to the ocularly impaired chris that's a baller move to suggest that Dwayne The Rock Johnson should have left four minutes into the ovation and seen if they still went the 11 minutes as he

beat the traffic, like just beat the traffic to get out of the whole thing.

Just so you can give me some of the backstory on what this movie is, because A24 makes only good things.

I shouldn't say only good things, but they are mostly.

They're taste makes.

They're a remarkable studio, and the reason The Rock chose this story and this studio is because he's angling for I want to show people something as the tide turns slightly on what was not 15 minutes of applause, 15 years of applause that The Rock has been getting.

And it's about been about 15 years of trying to get this movie made for Dwayne The Rock Johnson.

Remember when Stugots was at the fight in Madison Square Garden, barefoot standing next to him?

He looks great there.

Barefoot.

Yeah, that was when The Rock said, hey, we're finally going to make this movie.

And then like five more years pass.

I mean, look how different Stu Gotz looks.

Stu look good then.

From that image.

So So this has been a passion project, and he's always known that he's capable of nailing this rule.

And by all indications, he has.

And I mean, he's worked very hard.

He's not a bad actor by any stretch of the imagination.

He's probably made some bad choices.

No Batista, let's be honest with you.

And by the way, 15-minute standing ovation, like, that's nothing compared to wrestling crowds.

Like, he has to be like, this is the best that these people can do in Venice.

Like, this is so lame.

It's a

golf clapping.

That would have actually

if he like stood on the the back of his chair and started doing like the

people's champion thing now famously when he's been coming out to WWE crowds He still gets goosebumps and he makes a the camera see his goosebumps I wonder if he does that move at the Oscars I mean did crowds scream candy ass at him like no like what what is he even seeking these people's approval

Wow what what range he has he went from playing a wrestler to playing an MMA fighter with like a fake wig or whatever he has on like get out of here dismissing a performance before you've seen it I will not see it.

So don't think my opinion will change.

I'm already rolling my eyes at how long he's spent in the makeup chair every day.

Good lord, enough.

Please get out of here, Billy.

I know you have things to do.

I know you have, I don't know if you're going to be interrogated by police, but they stopped you in an alley yesterday.

And so

you came in here.

I don't blame them.

Stressed.

White, what were you doing in an alley?

I was just on the phone, and I had a Bluetooth thing in my head, and I was just, you know, wandering about in an alley, walking circles on the phone.

As one does.

Yeah, sometimes you just go for a walk and you're in the middle of a conversation and you lose track of where you are.

You just start doing circles.

And I realized I was in a closed-off alley.

And two officers came up to me on a golf cart.

And they're like, are you okay?

And I was like, yeah, I'm good.

Why?

Like, why are you here?

Like, you're not

meeting?

What are you doing?

Were they officers?

Golf cart?

Yeah, it's a weird vehicle.

That's a weird squad car.

They seemed to be officers.

Maybe they were security guards, but they had security that was very likely.

Was it one of those

beach golf carts that can go out on the beach?

No.

I could have probably outrun it, honestly.

But they're like, what are you doing here?

Sounds like these were mall cops.

Well, look, it was here, and I was like,

those are the MDC security guys.

It was.

I was like, I work right there.

I'm good.

I had a backpack on.

I'm like, they probably think that, like, I don't know.

I'm up to no good.

I'm a drug dealer.

Who knows what they think is going on here?

And the visual of Billy just like sprinting away from them.

I did.

No, they also kind of watched.

I was like, no, I work at that building right there.

And I noticed they did kind of follow me into the building.

I don't blame them.

Honestly, I kind of liked it.

I was like, finally, someone thinks I'm dangerous.

There's a rush.

It felt like The Rock.

Get out of here.

I know you have to leave early.

We're doing more show than we usually do on Fridays.

When Chris Cody

did his rock signature move there, there we go.

It reminded me of a story The Rock told on Highly Questionable when I asked him, I had told the story, as I've told before, of Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant flying to Japan together, drinking the entire flight.

And by the time they got into the ring to have the match, there was a point that Hulk Hogan got body slammed, and then Andre the Giant landed on him.

And Hulk Hogan just shit himself in the yellow Hulkamania trunks because he was so embarrassed.

And so I asked The Rock, What's your most embarrassing moment in wrestling?

And he's like, well, I was on the top turnbuckle and I had my fist up in the air.

And when the pictures were taken, there was a boulder hanging out of the bottom of my trunks that represents one of my testicles.

Calling it a boulder is a move.

He's the rock.

He's the rock.

He's the rock.

I couldn't get away with that.

Well, you're not called the rock.

Chris, you are not.

Some circles.

No.

No, there's zero circles.

You are called the circle.

Maybe a triangle.

You've been called the circle more than than the rock.

My wife calls me her rock all the time.

Oh, okay.

Oh, nice.

It's nice to know.

Great turnaround, Ms.

Bay Chris.

But we were talking about physique.

I saw your belly button, though, by the way, when you did that thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me tell you something.

Did not deliver on expectations.

Mark Cuban is still going at Pablo.

He's tweeted, Pablo, come on.

You only pushed your side in the promos.

Nothing you said made your point.

You took lots of information provided by scammers who negotiated with someone not connected with Ballmer and took them at face value.

Just to be clear, still Team Ballmer.

Did Cuban listen to this episode at least?

Because he was on it, because he very clearly didn't listen to the last one, because a lot of the ground that he covered was actually covered in the previous episode.

But, you know,

there is a billionaires club, and those guys are in the same club.

And while maybe the Mavericks would stand to gain from something bad happening to the Clippers, I think if you have this instance, like we alluded to earlier in the week when this Pablo bombshell came out, is

Pablo!

Imagine other owners are going to start getting a little nervous.

This episode is supported by FX's The Lowdown, starring Ethan Hawk.

Allow us to introduce you to Lee Raybon, a quirky journalist slash rare bookstore owner slash unofficial truth seeker who's always on the tail of his latest conspiracy.

This time, his most recent expose puts him head to head with a powerful family that rules Tulsa.

Meaning only one thing, he must be onto something big.

FX is the lowdown premiere September 23rd on FX.

Stream on Hulu.

What does Zin give you?

Not just smoke-free nicotine satisfaction, but real freedom.

Freedom to do what you love and choose your rewards.

With Zinn Rewards, you can redeem points for premium tech, outdoor gear, and gift cards to your favorite retailers.

Find yours in and keep finding rewards that fit your lifestyle.

At zinn.com slash rewards.

Warning.

This product contains nicotine.

Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

You know what nobody tells you about being a new dad?

It's not just the diapers and the wipes, that's obvious.

It's the hidden stuff, the baby swing after we already purchased the other baby swing, the bouncer, the pack and play, the 20 different bottles, because apparently my kid hates every single one, except the most expensive one, which is the glass, by the way.

Don't get me started on late food delivery orders with my wife and me too tired to even look or cook or think about food.

I'm staring at my bank account like, where did it all go?

That's where monarch money comes in.

It's like a financial tool belt for everyone, not just dads.

You link all your accounts, your credit cards, investments, even the old stuff from jobs you forgot about, and it lays out in a way that even a sleep-deprived parent like me can actually understand.

Normally, money talks are stressful, but with monarch, we can track everything together, set goals, and actually feel like we're on the same team.

Less stress, more clarity, and finally, a plan for our daughter's future.

Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks.

Use code Dan at monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year.

That's 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code Dan.

Don Lebatard.

Glory is Captain Sloppy.

Stugats.

Is this Chumbucket?

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

I just want to ask you guys one thing about consequences here.

If it cost how many draft picks to get Kawhi to

Los Angeles, how many of them?

I believe it was five along with Shea and in the local laundry.

That wasn't the Kawhi trade, right?

No, that's Paul George.

That was Paul George that was the piece of the paper.

Yeah, it was the whole thing.

It was the whole thing together, right?

Yeah, because Kawaii.

I just want to be clear because we're positioning it as that was a Kawhi trade.

Kawhi was a Keynesian.

Let me see the specifics of this.

The reason I'm asking you is just because

the Clippers have gone from eternal laughingstock for decades to a team the last five to ten years that has been vastly more relevant than it's ever been in franchise history.

But when we go back on whatever it is that happens with the Kawhi Leonard and Paul George trades that or transactions that it took for the Clippers to become that.

The Joe Smith salary cafiasco in Minnesota, wasn't that five first-round picks?

Five first-rounders

that that cost five first-round picks for the promise not written anywhere on, hey, Joe, we'll get you on the contract next time.

If this is proven,

how many draft, what is going to be the collateral damage on how many draft picks it costs the Clippers to just have Kawhi Leonard leonard if the penalty for this is anything like what the joe smith penalty is given that everyone says that this is worse if it's proven than joe smith and joe smith when david stern was in charge different animal that was five first-round picks with that with joe uh joe smith and glenn taylor yeah and it was a point just made by mike glenn taylor was suspended for a year for that as well but even mark cuban who was just you know going after pablo for what's said in the promos in in the meat of this podcast when he ultimately says like, look, I don't believe that any of this is what you believe it is in terms of a smoking gun.

If indeed it is true that this was all happening, it is way worse than what was going on with Joe Smith.

He insists, he goes, he's done.

It's over.

They'll have everything revoked.

I mean, if this is to be proven by the NBA that this is what was going on, the Clippers are going to be in trouble for, I mean, decades.

It's pretty interesting to think about what all of this might cost them when anyone watching or listening to all of that at the time, and OKC winning the championship last year, would have said, Paul George and Kawhi Leonard, yes, I need to do that if I'm the Clippers every single time.

And if we look back at this and see that it costs the MVP of the league, Shea Gilders Alexander, and 10 first-round picks or 12 first-round picks because you already gave up five of them, and whatever picks they take from you, OKC's already got because of these trades if it I mean it's already in conversation is because you're coupling understandably you're coupling the Kawhi Paul George thing because Kawhi flatly doesn't go there without Paul George

it's already one of the more disastrous transactions in the history of sports if the end result is they also circumnavigated the uh the NBA salary cap and who knows what happens to Steve Ballmer and that franchise it it is number one with a bullet the worst transaction in the history of sports and david sampson's off the hook for the miguel cabrera Cabrera trade.

So he should, that's his angle to this whole thing.

That's why he's sitting at that table because he's like, man, I'm off the hook here.

Pablo.

Should that be our new sounder when it's a Pablo?

Add some wind behind it.

Something happened yesterday that I found curious, and it allows us for evermore to close our Amari Cooper file.

We had Amari Cooper on one time,

and when we had him on, he was still at Alabama at the time.

This might sound like it was a whole interview.

We had him on, and I'm pretty sure that he said one word in the entirety of the interview, that we didn't do anything else with this.

I think we got in trouble at ESPN for this, right?

They were mad that we kept teasing Amari Cooper's going to join us.

And then this was the entire interview.

This is the best receiver in college football.

He's a Miami kid, and he's been that for a while.

Not a Miami kid, but the best receiver in college football.

Amari Cooper with us on ESPN Radio.

He plays at Alabama.

Thank you for joining us, Amari.

Could you be in the NFL right now?

What do you imagine you'd be doing in the NFL right now?

Just dominating.

Thank you for being on with us, Amari.

We appreciate it.

So it was two words.

Thank you.

Four words.

Okay, it was four words.

It was just dominating, and it was thank you.

So we can close that file.

But it was curious, right?

Most players who hold out just don't want to go to training camp and don't want to do any of that.

Amari Cooper went to the Raiders and did football things, and then he retires yesterday.

And it was an unusual timing.

Usually, if a guy can get through training camp,

he can muster what's needed to get to game one.

The guys who are thinking about retirement at Amari Cooper's age usually don't even get to training camp or get there the way Andrew Hawkins does for a couple of days and then says, you know what, I'm done with this.

I can feel that I'm done with it.

it happened to jerry rice too he was getting through camp and then he just decided

i'm not comfortable with the level that i'm playing at and i don't want to do this to myself i kind of saw john oates uh give an interview on he

well everyone got excited including myself because uh

yeah daryl hall and john oates they didn't bury the hatchet they settled their lawsuit and

they were the natural question is like all right are we gonna see these boys in the sphere hall and oates reunion let's go

But John Oates gave an interview, and while he acknowledges that there are still issues between them, he's like, I'm not going to take shots at these other bands, but if I go out there and play this song and it just doesn't sound the way that it was intended, and it's

a diluted version of this, I don't want to do that.

I want the previous performances

to speak for themselves, and I don't want people to remember us like that.

I don't want to be one of these nostalgia acts.

So maybe Amari Cooper's thinking that to himself.

He's like, yeah, I made this team, but I'm not a big part of this offense and Amari Cooper does.

That's not dominating.

So you don't think there's going to be like an Oasis type situation where John Oates and Daryl Hall hate each other?

They really hate each other.

So there's definitely a hatch.

I mean,

there's so much money to be made.

I was hoping so, but the added logic of I don't want to sound like that, the one that I've always hoped for that seems like there is never going to be any kind of reconciliation is the Smiths.

Coachella famously, every year when Coachella has their blank slate and tries to set up their lineup, those guys are such huge Britpop guys.

They're the biggest Smiths fans that there is.

They always send out a blank check offer to Johnny Marr and Morrissey to bury the hatchet.

And they never will.

In fact, the news on this is Morrissey is like, I'm done with the false accusations about me.

I am selling my 50% stake in the Smiths.

Someone buy it from me.

I want nothing to do with this brand.

Every time we talk about this, I say, get me the telephone number that is still live because I called it like three weeks ago for that Hall and Oates number.

What is it?

It's Call and Oats.

Call and Oates.

There's a telephone number that you call, and that you get a choice of what song to play.

It's still out there.

It has not died because I legitimately called it for somebody three weeks ago.

I want to get that number.

719-266-2837.

Yes, it's in my contact list.

But the way that you said all of that made it seem like if John Oates went to Daryl Hall and asked for them to

reunite, because Hall is viewed as the more talented one there and I think he's got more disdain for Oates

please press one to hear Rich Girl please press two to hear Manita please press three

to hear privatize please press four

yeah that's what I would have to do

yeah

I don't think that I I think that if Oates went to Hall right now and said let's reunite there's a lot of money to be made there I think Hall would say I can't go for that.

No can do.

God damn it, Dan.

Why did you come?

Lyrics joke.

Why'd you do this to us?

Andy Garcia is going to join us.

Thank God.

Hold on a second.

Let me see if I can find it on the machine so I can make fun of myself here.

Andy Garcia is going to join us in a few minutes to argue with his son about the Miami Dolphins.

I see Chris Cody is wearing his Miami Dolphins gear.

Game week, Dano.

You're expecting to win?

You're expecting to be able to go on the road and win.

I would call this as important a first game as you could possibly have.

The vibes are so weird right now that I just feel like if this game goes poorly, the whole season is going to go to shit.

If they have a good game, we're going to have a good season.

I literally think that their whole entire season just is going to be determined off the vibes of this game.

This is a must-win game.

We did that earlier this week.

Billy and Greg have said this.

Did you get that Big Mac stuff?

Did you end up doing anything?

Because I ended up talking to Big Mac in the carport about the Dolphins this season.

And what he said was: if they win this game, he thinks they're going to go 15 and 2.

And if they lose, the season's over.

Oh, wow.

So he agrees.

And as an impartial, I look at this game and I see a couple eight and nines cutting it up.

That's the argument I've been making to people when they tell me I think the Dolphins.

This game sucks, bro.

Oh, it does.

I'm not saying it's a great game, but I zero juice to this game.

No, but from a Dolphins fan perspective, there is.

I know, like, last night, the Cowboys, they lost that game.

I feel like it's not all crumbling there.

Whereas if the Dolphins lose, I just think it's so broken.

Tyreek will go off, fly off the handle.

It's an important game.

It's as important

as game one can be.

And my expectation is by game six, you'll be saying this is as important of a game six as there can be because it could go either way because they're going to be hovering around exactly where they are right now, 500.

It's one of my favorite things that the lower half of the league does and the lower half of the league's fans do,

where dolphin fans are like, Colts aren't any good.

And Colts fans are like, dolphins aren't any good.

They're looking at you like it's a mirror.

It's the Spider-Man.

We got to beat the Dolphins.

The canopy, we're saying we're average, then they're kind of average too.

Mediocre.

Yeah.

That's what I'm trying to get you to admit, so I'm glad.

I've never said that these are two good teams.

I just do think that the Dolphins season can go in two directions, and I think that it's so fragile right now that a bad performance in this week one could.

Nine and eight or eight and nine.

That's right.

That's what's on the line.

Two different directions.

That's what's on the line.

Big one.

But Big Mac is saying that the two directions are 15 and two or two and 15.

He also told me this morning to let you know that he guaranteed the Eagles would win last night, and you can let Mr.

Lepartard.

He did guarantee it, but man, he, I thought of him last night as that was happening.

I'm like, that guarantee is not going to mean something here if CD Lamb catches a couple of balls.

I had a fun interaction with him this week because he was kind of up away.

Like, sometimes he's out where I can walk right by him, and sometimes it's like a 50 feet away wave thing.

And I just like, what's up, what's up?

He goes, Hey, what's up, Billy?

I mean, and like, as I kept walking, he just like called me Billy and then realized I'm not Billy.

And then he just kind of tailed off with me.

He's good to hear this.

No, I mean, he knew it.

Like, that's like, it was funny.

Did you guys have any thoughts on the the report of Bill Belichick banning Patriot staff from North Carolina scouting and practices?

This is a mess.

I'm so happy you won Gas Bag of the Week and none of that fell on me because I knew this was going to be bad from the start.

This is a mess.

And he's got just got the weird girlfriend thing around, too.

It's just all bad.

Speaking of messes, I meant to tell the audience and you guys of, because some of these, still, after after 20 years I still leave here some days with a bit of a film on me on how it is that I could have been better and not fallen flat and what we did yesterday with that Mickey Arison interview that didn't please anybody because I assure you that the heat weren't happy about that interview either

and I say that without even having talked to anybody about it the amount of failure in that when we could have done a really good five minutes if we had just asked 40 super fast true or false and yes and no questions to actually abide by the five minute restriction.

I have not been able for 24 hours to get any of that off me.

I've still got it on me today, even though the football season has started.

And even though Pablo's got like the biggest hit podcast that there is, not just in sports right now, like he is just crushing it.

I've got to imagine the athletic has never had anything downloaded the way that that was downloaded.

And that's your first episode.

It's the first thing you're doing for them.

And that's where you're placing the expectations.

Very high, low feeling for me yesterday.

Yeah, we've heard confirmed, not sure exactly where it stacks, but one of the biggest podcasts in the history of the athletic, which is saying a lot because David Ornstein's on that network.

There's been huge soccer stories, huge transfers.

But as a debut, though, to come out and

to come out of the box with a story you've been holding for seven months.

And you did did that interview with mickey arris yeah i kind of thought it was perfect yeah i bet you would

i if i really held his feet to the fire if i had just snuck in a saudi arabia question just one

i want to talk about home security for a minute for the longest time i thought it was just alarms and sirens that once somebody breaks in you deal with it but when you think about it that's already too late that's reactive I had my car broken into on my property a while back.

The only thing I could do was call 911.

That's reactive.

I don't like living things up to chance.

That's why I decided to install Simply Safe.

Why?

Because they flipped the idea of home security by making it proactive.

Their Active Guard Outdoor Protection uses AI-powered cameras to actually identify people lurking around your property.

And here's the key.

Simply Safe's monitoring agents step in before anything goes down.

They'll talk directly to intruders through the camera, light them up with spotlights, and even call the cops if they need to.

That's not reacting.

That's stopping crime before it starts.

No contracts, no hidden fees.

That's why they've been named best home security system by U.S.

News and World Report five years in a row.

And they back it up with a 60-day money-back guarantee.

SimplySafe is offering Lebattard show listeners 50% off a new system with professional monitoring.

Plus, your first month is free.

Visit simplysafe.com slash DLB to claim the offer.

That's simplysafe.com slash DLB.

There's no safe like SimplySafe.

This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.

We've all done this.

Gone to the wrong people for advice.

You've got real problems and suddenly you're oversharing with your barber, your bartender, maybe even a stranger in the bathroom line.

I know I've done this a time or two.

And look, they're great for small talk, but they're not trained to help you with anxiety, relationships, or depression.

That's the difference with therapy.

Therapists are credentialed, clinically trained, and actually know what they're doing.

Therapy isn't just for huge life crises either.

It's about learning coping skills, setting boundaries, and getting tools to deal with everyday chaos.

BetterHelp has been helping people find the right match for over 10 years and they've got a 4.9 rating based on 1.7 million reviews.

With over 30,000 licensed therapists, it's the world's largest online therapy platform serving more than 5 million people.

As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

Find the one with BetterHelp.

Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash DLB.

That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash D L B

Hey listeners, it's Mike.

Hey Billy Billy Gill.

Hey.

Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.

Fishtail palms, great memories we made, kids playing in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice-cold can of Miller Light.

It was so hot out.

I know, but it was so cold in my hand.

We took that first sip.

It was crisp.

It was refreshing.

Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller light with your crew and your inner circle bones.

Hell yeah.

We fist bumped.

Whether it's, we actually really did, whether it's that touchdown.

It didn't make a sound, but it's just like BAM!

Boom.

Whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups, you and I did plenty of that.

Miller Light has been the taste that you can depend on for 50 years.

Brood for flavor with simple ingredients, rich toffee notes, and that iconic golden color.

And here's a kicker, Billy.

What?

It's just 96 calories.

What?

3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Miller Light, grape taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com/slash dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Don Lebatard.

All right, we got to go back out there.

That was big.

Wake him up.

Uh-oh.

He doesn't want to be bothered anymore.

Now it's getting tense because he didn't need that as a result.

He needs something that happens.

You can see it motherfucking.

Are we bothering you right now?

Turn on your microphone, Greg.

My microphone's on.

Stugats.

Paint the scene.

The paint the scene is: I gotta go to work.

Good night.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

I am very excited about this because this is my mother's favorite actor.

I'm a little creeped out by how much she likes him.

He's an auelo, but he's also a sex symbol.

And his son is more handsome than he is.

And he's performing in Miami September 12th.

He's a DJ, and they're perpetually arguing about the Dolphins.

So I will simply start here.

Andy Garcia, forever hopeful, the optimist.

What are the Dolphins going to be this season?

Super Bowl champs.

I guess Neil.

But what is that?

No, you can't be serious.

I think we're going to make the playoffs this year.

Andy, you're always hopeful and you're always wrong.

Like, we're going to get to the playoffs and get to the Super Bowl has not had a playoff victory this century.

I understand.

I was there when Joe Auer returned the opening kickoff in the 60s.

So I understand the entire history of this team.

I was there with Marino.

I was there with Dar Shula.

I was there with Bob Greasy.

I was there with Larry Zonka, and I understand.

Having said that, I like the team.

I think we have a stronger offensive line.

We got weapons.

If people stay healthy, I think we have a good chance at the playoffs.

And once you're in the playoffs,

everything goes.

Andy, they've been drafting offensive linemen and haven't been able to block anybody for 25 years.

Don't get started about the draft.

Don't get started about the draft.

Because, you know, we didn't draft Lamar Jackson when we didn't have a quarterback.

You know, we didn't draft Aaron Rodgers.

We didn't pick up Drew Brees.

You know, so let's, there's a whole history of maybe some bad draft choices when we needed different people.

That we can agree on.

That we agree on.

How do you not draft Lamar Jackson when he was there as a potential?

This guy was an untouchable quarterback in college.

Nobody can touch him.

It was like playing flag football.

You couldn't put your hands on him.

You got to draft that guy.

He can turn your franchise around.

Especially when you have nothing to lose as a franchise at the point we were at.

And it was, I think, Tannehill was on the last year of a contract cutting off the injury.

And even if he was a dynamic backup for a while and you have 20 plays for him, but you can't touch him, how do you not draft that guy?

Now, what happened with Lamar Jackson?

Now you're getting into the spirit.

Now I'm seeing some of that Latino neativity that they could have drafted Lamar Jackson.

Now the optimist finally sees that, you know, 25 years of failure make it.

So your assessment of the cornerbacks, for example, this year is what, Andy?

You certainly can't be positive about their defensive back play this year.

Recently, we picked up a couple guys, you know, some vets, Dick Douglas, right, came on board, maybe.

You're positive.

So you're feeling positive about even their cornerbacks.

Like there is nothing.

Your greatest criticism is they failed to get Lamar Jackson, but everything else is sunshine, rainbows, and fairy tales.

Like I say, I'm always optimistic.

I think that's one of the situations in the defense that remains to be seen.

But we have a very strong defensive line, which obviously helps the safeties and the cornerbacks and protection if we put pressure on the quarterback.

Oh, I can see the look on Bones' face.

He doesn't want to disrespect his father publicly.

He doesn't agree with this.

I mean, I got the death chart right here in front of me.

Yeah, my dad is right.

If our defensive line can stay healthy, which it is, Chop Robinson, Bradley Chubb, Zach Seeler.

Kenneth Grant, the rookie.

Judon will be a pass rusher too for them.

And Jalen Phillips, but stay healthy.

They've been hurt.

If that group goes down, like, God forbid, we don't want any of that to happen.

But

if that group starts to crumble a little bit, then, you know you got Storm Duck on the back end getting tossed into cornerback one.

I'm not sure a lot of people right now know who Storm Duck is.

I don't think he's a household name, but it's really interesting what's happened with our DV room.

I mean, I mean, we just brought in Minka Fitzpatrick again after letting go of him.

Like, that just goes to show like some of the dysfunctionality that has happened with the Dolphins.

Well, let me ask you this, Andy.

How do you feel in general about Chris Greer, the job that Chris Greer, the general manager, has done?

I like Chris.

You know, I like Chris.

He's a friend.

I would say I don't have the complete knowledge of what goes on behind the scenes to be able to criticize moves because sometimes there are factors that we don't, as fans, don't understand what's going down.

How does the Garcia household feel when Tua is now outside of the pocket and in the open field?

Because we scream, no, no, no,

no, go down, slide,

throw the ball away.

What does it sound like?

Can I grab the inner thespian in you and see if I can summon what it feels like to be sitting next to Andy Garcia at his angriest what he's spitting at the screen?

What does that sound like?

Well, to me, it's like, who the f ⁇ are you looking?

There's a guy open in the corner of the Enzo.

Who the f ⁇ are you throwing to?

Right, that's got to go Spanish too, right?

But no, because, you know, depending on who you're screaming at, they don't speak Spanish, so, you know.

Oh, I see.

Oh, I thought the emotion emotion would get so high that you're just screaming curses but you want to be heard by whoever it is you're screaming at through the tv you know i'm screaming at a tv in los angeles you know what i'm saying trying to get them to listen at hard rock i i just go to my room and lock the door

he does he goes in the first if we're if things are going bad right in the first quarter he says i'm out and he goes upstairs and he probably watches it on a tv by himself oh really second in the second half he'll come down where we've gotten back into the game and he crawls back into the theater you know the screening room

so is it frustration with the team with your father sometimes the energy is already very nice in the household and i don't want to ruin it with um the pain that i'm feeling

Andy, what would you say is the most hurt the dolphins have ever left you after a single game where you are just really feeling it, can't sleep at night because

one of them got away.

Wow.

There's been so many

Rolodex.

I feel like you're reticent because you don't want to be publicly before the season not hopeful, but your father is delusional and doesn't learn anything from 25 years of scars.

Exactly what it is.

Exactly anyway.

Okay, I'm glad we've hashed this out.

I'm glad we talked about it.

We'll continue couples counseling.

I hope on whatever it is this dolphin season is.

Jolene Soundroom, September 12th.

He is a DJ and we will be playing his music here at some point.

Andy, give me a prediction against the Colts.

I want to hold you to it.

It's a win.

We're going to win.

I don't have a score.

I don't care about this guy.

We can win three.

Give Gamma score.

27-10.

Ooh, really a blowout over Daniel on the road.

Okay.

And Bones, your thoughts here?

You're hopeful.

You can be hopeful and optimistic.

You know what?

I am going to say we will win, and I'll tell you why.

I don't think the Colts have a lot of firepower against us right now.

They don't have a lot of weapons on offense.

So if we can get rolling on offense, we are playing indoors, which is a huge plus for us,

as we know.

And I do think it's a win if we can get off hot, get our playmakers the ball.

So I think 27 to 20.

I mean, you're pretty close to agreeing there.

I'm going to have to work on this, see if we can get a little more detail.

27 to 20.

We're always 10 points apart, man.

We're always 10 points apart.

27 to 20.

I think it's a dub.

But the next couple of weeks, I don't know.

What about you, oh, lord of intelligence, football intelligence?

I mean, I've just been beaten down by what it is that I've seen, and I don't dare to be hopeful with a quarterback who can get hurt, more likely to get hurt.

I don't often say something like this, but more likely to get hurt if you were gambling on it than any quarterback in the league, even though all that stuff is random.

I just, that it's such a flimsy foundation to be able to hope that that guy can stay healthy and produce throws in two seconds all season and won't get hurt.

It just, I've seen it a couple of seasons where I'm doing shows where I'm worried about the man's health and whether whether he should retire with the next time his head gets hit.

This is true.

This is true.

That's why he's got to be very careful.

And

the O-line has to help always in that situation.

But listen, people sneak through a good old line.

People do sneak through, and you got to be smart enough to just lay down and

live to play another play.

Dan, I missed your prediction.

I think they're going to lose to the Colts on the road.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ.

Daniel Jones, you really think we're that bad?

Yeah.

It's not that I think that you're that bad.

It's that I believe that you're about the same as the Colts and the Colts are at home.

I don't think the Colts are as bad as you guys think they are.

Wow, so you start the season with a loss.

This is how you start your season with the Dolphins.

They're going to lose the first game.

I am an asshole.

It is obvious to everybody listening.

I will put myself in the penalty box sent there by Andy Garcia and Bones.

Minor probably two minutes.

Peste, tremendous.

Tremenda, coma mierda.

That is a terrible start to the season by me.

Gentlemen, thank you for your optimism.

Thank you for your hope.

And thank you for your time.

We love it.

Appreciate it, Dan.

All right.

Good night, guys.

Fins up.

Fins up.

Do it, Dan.

Hey, listeners, it's Mike.

Hey, Billy Gill.

Hey.

Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle.

Remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.

Fishtail palms, great memories we made.

Kids playing in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice-cold can of Miller Light.

It was so hot out.

I know, but it was so cold in my hand.

We took that first sip.

It was crisp.

It was refreshing.

Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.

Hell yeah.

We fist bumped.

Whether it's, we actually really did.

Whether it's that touchdown.

It didn't make a sound, but it just thought.

Bam!

Boom.

Whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups, you and I did plenty of that.

Miller Light has been the taste that you can depend on for 50 years.

Brewed for flavor with simple ingredients, rich toffee notes, and that iconic golden color.

And here's a kicker, Billy.

What?

It's just 96 calories.

What?

3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Miller Light, grape taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.