Hour 1: Mike & Dave Got Everything Wrong (feat. Dave Dameshek & Matthew Berry)

Alright, Smirnoff.

Official vodka of the NFL, the world's number one vodka.

Here's the deal: game day is everything.

The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again.

Smirnoff belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff.

Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

They've been doing this since 1864, which is.

I don't even want to do the math.

A long time.

They're award-winning.

They make cocktails super easy and they're all about bringing fans together.

So yeah, we do game days.

That's their thing.

And if you're over 21, you should too.

Grab a bottle of Smirnoff at your local retailer and head to Smirnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day.

Please drink responsibly.

Smirnoff, number 21 vodka.

Distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume.

The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York.

Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.

Attention, all small biz owners.

At the UPS store, you can count on us to handle your packages with care.

With our certified packing experts, your packages are properly packed and protected.

And with our pack and ship guarantee, when we pack it and ship it, we guarantee it.

Because your items arrive safe or you'll be reimbursed.

Visit the ups store.com slash guarantee for full details.

Most locations are independently owned.

Product services, pricing, and hours of operation may vary.

See Center for Details.

The UPS store.

Be unstoppable.

Come into your local store today.

This podcast is supported by Progressive, a leader in RV Insurance.

RVs are for sharing adventures with family, friends, and even your pets.

So if you bring your cats and dogs along for the ride, you'll want Progressive RV Insurance.

They protect your cats and dogs like family by offering up to $1,000 in optional coverage for vet bills in case of an RV accident, making it a great companion for the responsible pet owner who loves to travel.

See Progressive's other benefits and more when you quote RV Insurance at progressive.com today.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, pet injuries, and additional coverage and subject to policy terms.

This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

Each stick has a two-to-one ratio of L-theanine to caffeine for balanced energy without jitters or crash.

I keep a bunch with me.

They got strawberry kiwi, blackberry lemonade.

It's always on me because it's simple.

You tear it, you pour it, you mix, and you're hydrated.

Don't let the grind drain you.

Ditch the glitch with zero sugar, zero crash from Liquid IV.

Tear, pour, live more, live more.

Thank you, Jeremy.

Go to liquidiv.com, get 20% off your first order with code Dan at checkout.

That's 20% off your first order with code Dan at liquid IV.com.

Roy, why are you laughing?

Oh, Jeremy jinxed them.

I was, hey, good read.

It's a long read.

Are you still a nervous reader, Chris?

No, I think I'm actually.

Remember Sheets and Giggles?

I mean, I've come a long way.

Okay, so you were on with Damashek.

You and your father were on with Damashek.

And this has only happened a couple of times around here.

It's a very good show, Football America.

It's a new metal arc production.

I've enjoyed what Damashek is doing.

But Warren Sharp, we had him

one time to sell his wares around here, and every single thing that he picked went wrong that week.

And I think he went 0-1-14 or 0-1-16 and gave listeners a discount because he was so ashamed.

His information's great.

That day, he got everything wrong.

I'm sitting here telling everybody how good this podcast is with Damashek and you and Mike Ryan and RFK, you got every game wrong.

Like you didn't like your information was good.

Your analysis was good, but you got every single game wrong, the two of you.

When do facts matter?

Look, Dan,

there are a lot of football teams out there.

We picked the wrong ones on this day.

Look, listen, Bobby Jr.

Berman and Boomer.

Berman.

That was Berman.

That was not.

Yeah.

That was not RFK.

He was doing

it.

Keep up.

You know, it was RFK and Boomer.

I saw on the show, on the show, it was RFK and Boomer, but we haven't established the show here.

And so he just did Berman, and people thought he was doing RFK.

He sounded like a bad RFK.

People are going to think he was doing RFK.

He was doing Boom.

Teege, look,

you got the New York Jets, you got the Buffalo Bills, you got the New England Peters.

Look, there are a lot of teams in the AFC East, but the Miami Dolphins are truly atrocious.

Back on the Blitz.

That's Patrick Mahomes, and you're back on the Blitz.

Crutch didn't save it at the end.

It's Berman.

It may not sound like them, but it kind of sounds like the words he was saying.

No, but when he said no, that's the thing, though.

You don't know it's totally Berman until he says back on the Blitz.

That's right.

And he doesn't have any other moves.

It's a very...

I just got to say, listen, the rainbow emotions down there in Miami right now.

First of all, I know Roy is happy because there there are Sidney Crosby trade rumors afoot there.

I don't think there's any credibility to any of them.

But on the other hand, I come on here on a Friday morning and Dan starts out coming at me.

I'm the one who's raw.

No one there knows who Leah Thompson is.

All the right moves.

Red Dawn.

I mean, Caroline and the City, what gives?

You

opened your podcast with a movie from 30 years ago, and my only note was, what are you, Simmons?

He wishes.

I can tap into the psychological meaning of Powers Booth visiting those teenage kids trying to survive up in the mountains as

the Red Plague infects that Colorado town in Red Dawn.

Oh, if you guys want to do a deep dive on that movie and the political ramifications, I'm ready at any point.

Okay, maybe that'll be a future segment.

The Packers, obviously, in five days, or what was it?

In six days, whatever it is that it's been, the Packers look a little bit better than everyone else looks.

They do.

And I heard you guys talking earlier.

What is remarkable, if I can be a little bit glass half empty here, is consider now, they now have Jordan Love successfully making that transition from Rodgers, just as Rodgers

went from Favre to Rodgers.

That's 35-ish years now.

That's the exact same number of Lombardi trophies that they've delivered to Green Bay as Trent Dilfer and Joe Flacco gave to Charm City.

Underwhelming, ultimately, right?

A lot of good times if you're a Packers fan, but not a lot of championships.

Just two.

Same as the Ravens in that stretch of time.

Well, that's why I would argue that Aaron Rodgers is the greatest quarterback I've ever seen and an underachiever.

That's a, well, then we park our cars in the same garage, don't we?

Yes.

Well, but what's it going to be for your Steelers, though?

Because you thought uh that game was going to go much differently in fact when i'm listening to your podcast while i'm entertained and while i know the nutrients are good you got nothing right I don't know about that.

I mean, I said, first of all, I called the Monday Nighter on the nose.

I said that the Vikings would win that game by three, and so they did.

And I said,

dominated.

Had it all the way.

Yeah, you were never nervous about that one.

Well, I think for me, the big takeaway of week one is the range in kicking performances and how it has impacted the last five days worth of conversation at least.

The assumptions we've made about who is better than whom and all of that really pivoted largely off of the performances of the kickers out there.

I mean, the celebration on the banks of the Three Rivers in Pittsburgh,

fine, Aaron Rodgers was very good, but so was Justin Fields.

So they basically played to a wash.

The difference was Chris Boswell making 56 and 60 yard field goals, whereas Nick Falk missed an extra point, which ultimately forced them to go for two, which they missed, and they fumbled a kickoff.

Well, that's what's the one.

That's the one, though.

The Jets released, what is it, Gibson?

The Jets released the dude who fumbled.

They might as well have done it right on the field.

But you've gotten, how many years in a row have you gotten the Steelers' record correct within a game?

Yeah, it's been at least a dozen years that I haven't missed by more than one game.

I haven't haven't been on the nose every single season, but I've been very close to it.

But that game didn't make any sense, right?

It was the lowest total of the week, and it was offense galore.

Is that what Aaron Rodgers is going to be?

No, I mean, the assumption is, of course, that the defense will

not allow 30-some points to Justin Fields or any other quarterback on the regular.

That

they are built to dominate defensively and grind you up on offense and try to limit what the future Hall of Fame quarterback can do positively or negatively to impact the outcome of the game.

They really have to lean on him.

I don't want to be too cynical about it.

I didn't think, but then Aaron Rodgers said the same thing I said, so I don't feel so bad like I'm attacking the guy.

I don't think he was moving as great as people seem to think he was.

Yes, there was some of the old play action, gentle roll to the right that made him the Hall of Fame QB he is.

But boy, he did not look as nimble as he did, let's say five years or so ago.

And so I think that that's going to be informative to the defenses upcoming.

And here comes one to Pittsburgh now in Seattle that didn't win last week, but that is a mighty unit.

And I do think another, well, I predicted a low-scoring game.

Jets Pittsburgh.

I'm going to do it again here.

I think that the Steelers and Seahawks do not put a lot of points on the board.

And the bookmakers agree 39 and a half is where I see that number right now for the total.

And you nailed that low game prediction for Sealers, Jets.

Hey, when you mentioned the Packers look good, everyone goes to those uniforms now, non-traditional look.

And it's always risky when you have a team of such great football heritage trying out one of these new uniforms.

And Dave, I got to tell you, this uniform for a big swing is so close to being good.

So close.

Look at that piping on the pants.

Look at those stripes on the sleeves.

Look at the collar.

Look at that beautiful gold popping with the white contrast.

It is almost wholly put together together except for the helmet.

No gold on the helmet whatsoever.

No, a simple gold stripe down the middle would make this a great alternate uniform, not a good one.

And it's literally made a potentially great uniform bad.

Did they want to save money on helmet stripes?

What is this?

Mike, this is uh, I would rather you save this for Football America Fashion Corner,

but fine.

Let's

go pass.

Well, we don't, well, Dan, if you want to throw some,

we're pooling Football Americans out there to land on the perfect name.

A range of great options has been presented to us.

I think I really like drip drill is a, is a good one

that just came across.

Mike, you're so close, but you're just missing it here.

The gold on the on the hat would be fine.

How about this?

Let's go more Spartan, literally, kind of, because it would look like Sparty, Michigan State.

Get rid of the gold altogether and just go white and green.

That would look pretty cool too, right?

I mean, I think you'd be the New York Jets at that point.

So, like, I love the gold of the Green Bay Packers.

I like that contrast.

I like it popping.

This one's right there for me.

We can agree to disagree, but one thing that we can both agree on is this is an imperfect uniform because they did a half measure.

That's right.

It looks right.

What it looks is unfinished.

It feels like it was 4:59 p.m.

on a Friday, and they're like, ah, close enough.

Let's go, Ken.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show.

Did the Packers' alternate uniforms look unfinished?

Watch Football America twice a week, Mondays and Fridays on YouTube at Football America Show.

What happened with the kickers?

Do you have any solve with the kickers?

I was saying earlier this week that no jury would have convicted Miles Garrett if he had strangled whatever the name of that Browns kicker is with all the syllables syllables in his name or all the letters in his names that aren't vowels?

Well,

to me, I think we need a severe solution to kicking in the NFL.

It's become a plague that they're too good.

It was never intended for guys to be able to run out there and swing entire games by making 58 yarders with any regularity and 60 yarders and all of that.

I say that we have to go back to the root cause, which was back in the 60s when somebody showed up from Europe and said, I'm going to sidewind it.

You know,

I don't know where this voodoo came from and who signed off on it, but maybe we just have to make it head-on kicking or shame the devil.

No sidewinders to limit the amount.

You know, Paul Hornig.

the the Heisman Trophy winner, the Golden Boy from Notre Dame and Hall of Famer with the Packers and all of that.

Do you know he was Vince Lombardi's kicker into the early 60s?

And in his last season as the place kicker, he made 33% of all of his field goal attempts.

I like that.

I think that's what we need to get back to.

I find it unsatisfying that games all come down to a guy who has nothing to do with the entire rest of the game.

It is our funniest position in major sports.

It's our weirdest one.

Is there any comp to it?

Maybe a goalie in the NHL is about, I mean, these guys,

it's people running into each other on purpose and they're gigantic human beings.

And then all of a sudden, a little fella runs out with a single bar face mask to decide the result of the game.

It's bizarre at minimum, right?

No, it's asinine.

The whole thing, the whole construct of it, but it's called football and they can't go back now.

Well, we could, well, like I've said before, we've talked about it.

I think what one thing you could do is put the crossbar on top of the two goal points.

I don't want to do the reaction with you, Dick.

Why not?

That's a great idea.

That's a great idea.

And how about this?

How about that, in order to be eligible to kick field goals or to kick extra points in a game, you have to play, let's say, three or five snaps from the line of scrimmage?

We don't need this specialization.

You know, we now live in an age where Travis Hunter is playing, he's catching passes and he's trying to intercept passes.

And Shoei Atani hits and he pitches.

The running backs now are required to catch passes as well as take handoffs.

We've transcended specialization now.

So let's get rid of the kickers and the more you can do Swiss Army knife, who's the best kicker on the defensive line like in Domic and Sue, you're in.

I think that's a good idea, Dan.

Hey, listeners, it's Mike.

Hey, Billy Gill.

Hey.

Hey, Billy, as a proud member of your inner circle, remember when we were hanging out last weekend?

Oh, yeah, fishtail palms.

Fishtail palms, the great memories we made, kids playing in the pool and in our hands, a nice ice-cold pan of Miller Light.

It was so hot out.

I know, but it was so cold in my hand.

We took that first sip.

It was crisp.

It was refreshing.

Oh, man, there is nothing like cracking open a Miller Light with your crew and your inner circle bones.

Hell yeah.

We fist bumped.

Whether it's, we actually really did.

Whether it's that touchdown, it didn't make a sound, but it was just like BAM!

Boom.

Whether it's that touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups, you and I did plenty of that.

Miller Light has been the taste that you can depend on for 50 years.

Brood for flavor with simple ingredients, rich toffee notes, and that iconic golden color.

And here's a kicker, Billy.

What?

It's just 96 calories.

What?

3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

The original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com/slash dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

What does Zinn give you?

Not just smoke-free nicotine satisfaction, but real freedom.

Freedom to do what you love and choose your rewards.

With Zinn Rewards, you can redeem points for premium tech, outdoor gear, and gift cards to your favorite retailers.

Find your Zinn and keep finding rewards that fit your lifestyle at zinn.com/slash rewards.

Warning, this product contains nicotine.

Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

You know what nobody tells you about being a new dad?

It's not just the diapers and the wipes, that's obvious.

It's the hidden stuff, the baby swing after we already purchased the other baby swing, the bouncer, the pack and play, the 20 different bottles, because apparently my kid hates every single one, except the most expensive one, which is the glass, by the way.

Don't get me started on late food delivery orders with my wife, and me too tired to even look or cook or think about food.

I'm staring at my bank account like, where did it all go?

That's where monarch money comes in.

It's like a financial tool belt for everyone, not just dads.

You link all your accounts, your credit cards, investments, even the old stuff from jobs you forgot about, and it lays out in a way that even a sleep-deprived parent like me can actually understand.

Normally, money talks are stressful, but with Monarch, we can track everything together, set goals, and actually feel like we're on the same team.

Less stress, more clarity, and finally, a plan for our daughter's future.

Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks.

Use code Dan at monarchmoney.com in your browser browser for half off your first year.

That's 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code DAN.

Dan Lebatard.

In terms of heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now.

What's the pivot?

No, irrational.

Stugats.

I don't hear your voice.

If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give it.

Higher

premise.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Please stop yelling at me.

You're new around here.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show.

Is the kicker the weirdest, funniest position in all of sports?

I'd nominate the long snapper.

Put it on the poll as well at Lebatard Show.

Weirder, funnier career choice kicker or long snapper because that's a terrible way to go through life.

Like you're just always looking under, you know, you're looking down through your legs all the time and no one cares whether you're good at your job except for that one time you make a mistake.

It's the same sort of thing.

My boy, I don't know why he volunteered for this on his football team.

He has decided to be the long snapper and is now doing that.

And I don't want to get in his head with my negativity.

But of course, you just said exactly.

I was like, Great, boy, but you know, no one's ever going to notice you unless you screw up.

I don't don't like that.

Not exactly the game that you're playing, Dave, because like the position is weird, I understand, but like it's usually occupied by weirdos.

People say this about kickers, but in the NHL, they say this about goaltenders and closers, typically a little off.

Oh, yeah.

What would be the position, Dan, if you could choose any in sport?

What would be your preferred spot?

You can take any of the four major sports.

Oh, backup quarterback.

That's that's that's a good smart one.

Yeah,

I like, I think that's, but I would like, I'm vain enough that I would want a little of the shine.

And so I would want to be a, I would want to be in the bullpen because I wouldn't want to be near the skipper where he could, where he's asking me, but I, in your hypothetical, I have to assume the risk as well, right?

So you're putting me in a position where I actually have to worry about Miles Garrett, me, not as a quarterback, but me.

You could be a good holder.

It doesn't make enough money.

It doesn't make enough money.

It's not a good career choice.

I think to me, to be out in the bullpen, away from the boss man where you can do your own thing and talk to the fans and once in a while you get in.

I mean, maybe like being a platoon corner outfielder would be pretty cool too, because then you play, you don't play every day.

You want to play some of the time.

That's the problem with backup QB is that you never get into the game.

No, Dave, you were going down the perfect track, the mop-up duty long reliever, right?

Because you're down seven to two in the fifth inning or the sixth inning.

They bring in this guy.

No matter how he performs, after the game, Skipper's like, hey, he gave us some huge innings in saving that bullpen for a later date.

He really helped us out.

Great job by him.

Even if he's terrible.

No, it's the perfect one.

You want to be, Dave's right.

You want to be the fourth outfielder.

You want to be Ross Glowed.

Get a couple of bats a week.

Right, because it's like...

It's like being the Chargers in the Peyton Manning draft.

Like, you want to be, if you're the fourth outfielder, it's basically like being the Chargers after they already took Peyton Manning.

Like, well, what did you want us to do?

We had to take Ryan Leaf.

Peyton was already gone.

If you're the fourth outfielder, there is inherent lack of pressure on you.

Like, well, I didn't start.

I was like the go-to to, can you try and fix what's wrong here?

I did my best at the plate there, Skip, when I went in there.

Yeah, I like the lower stakes, the lower pressure on me.

The seventh episode of Football America is going to be today, and it's going to be Mondays and Fridays.

You get this here at Metal Arc Media.

Seventh episode, you're big on numbers.

The greatest number seven ever in football is

Elway without a close second?

Does he have a close second?

Well, I mean, that's well.

John Elway was one half of the greatest quarterback number seven versus another number seven in NFL history.

John Elway and Boomer Asiason went head to head back in the 80s and 90s.

So to that extent, yes, John Elway is safely in To all extents, there's a better number seven at quarterback than John Elway.

I mean, you don't think Ben Roethlisberger is

at least a viable option?

I mean,

they

won the same number of Super Bowls, and Elways were more attributable to Terrell Davis, I think we can agree, right?

In the twilight of his career.

That being said, I always give Elway credit.

I think that playoff wins for a quarterback are, in fact, a statistic in the postseason.

Otherwise, what's the point of having a postseason?

But his greatest deed, Elway, was dragging those bum rosters into

how do you reconcile, though,

when you're talking about the measurements on some of these things?

Ben Rothlessberger, I feel like, had a good deal more help than John Elway did the entirety of his career.

And you're mentioning the last stretch for John Elway when he actually won the championships, but that's not even who I'm thinking of when I think of Elway, the quarterback.

What do you mean?

What are you thinking of?

At the end of his career, like

Peyton Manning won the championship and he had nine touchdowns and 17 interceptions.

Like, I didn't need the proof of his championships.

You say playoff wins are a stat for a quarterback, so your assessment of Lamar Jackson is what?

Is that he needs to take care of business in January or else he does not make the shortlist of greatest quarterbacks in the history of people.

I mean, it's as simple as that, and the same fate awaits

Josh Allen.

And it's funny that you bring this up, Dan, because, of course, I brought it up to Greg and to Chris Cody earlier in the week.

I'd love to get your thought on this as well, just like I did the Cody's.

Maybe a hot take for people.

I'm not trying to ruffle feathers down there in Miami.

I say for all of his rightly legendary status in pro football history, Don Shula failed Dan Marino.

Dan Marino would have won a title if his head coach hadn't been outmoded.

Don Shula was great, obviously the architect of those early 70s.

That's what you did with the Cody's on your podcast?

You did Mourino?

Did Don Shula face Mourinho?

You did a show that would have been great in 1985?

That's right.

Well, as far as 1985 goes, I also floated this bit of positivity for the Dolphins fans.

I mean, it gets the asterisk of the shameful loss to the New England Patriots in the title game in the Rainy Orange Bowl.

But if Marino and company would have survived Craig James and Mosey Tatupu and Steve Grogan on that rainy day, they would have gone to the Superdome for a rematch against the Chicago Bears, who, of course, you know, they vanquished on Monday night football.

I think the same thing would have happened again.

And then you really throw pro football history Super Bowl error on its ear by saying that the greatest single season defense, or at least the one that people hold up as being that, would have not won a Super Bowl and Dan Marino would have won one.

There are few moments that

are stronger inflection points than that.

So you are absolutely right.

Don Shula won a Super Bowl throwing seven passes with Bob Greasy.

He didn't know what the hell to do with Dan Marino.

He just let him be Dan Marino and didn't know what else to do because he was an old man coaching a team and Dan Marino won all those games.

And of course he failed him at the end.

Again, that show would have been better in 1993.

You doing it with the Cody's as we try to grab young people in the YouTube age.

A strange choice.

Did Don Shula face Dan Marino?

Most of the people having that argument on sports radio are now dead.

The people who had that argument on sports radio.

All right, you want to talk about Red Dawn again?

We can do that.

See you later, Damashek.

It's a good podcast.

You should listen to it.

Football America, Monday and Friday.

Good talking to you.

It's been nice to listen to.

It's entertaining.

It's nourishing.

And put all your money opposite the things that him and the fake RFK said.

Now, Bobby Jr.'s responsible for those bad picks.

Not damn a shit.

Don't put that on me.

See you later.

Good talking to you.

More football to talk about this weekend.

Since we were talking about kickers, it was delightful to learn last weekend that the University of South Florida has a Grammatica back there, Nico, carrying on the family tradition.

I would say put them next to each other.

More famous name associated with something, the Walendas or the Grammaticas?

Because when I saw Nico Grammatica, what a precious, precious heirloom.

That's the greatest kicking family in the history of kicking, is it not?

In the weird, funny position, that's royalty.

There is no name you associate with kicking more than that, not Vinatieri, as a family, correct?

There's no such thing.

The Flying Grammaticas, yeah.

They are the kicking family.

He was there last year.

He was in like a shared role.

They only brought him in for long kicks.

He made a long kick against Miami last year.

I was like, how do they keep making these down here in the Tampa area?

Don Lebatard.

Happy Cup game.

And Epwa, this is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

College football-wise, South Florida and Nico Dramatica kicking the ass of Florida.

How much trouble is Billy Napier in?

Because the expectations of Florida have changed.

And I dare say Mario Cristobal has changed them, right?

Because I wasn't expecting anything from FSU this season.

FSU going from

13 to 1 to whatever they were, 2 and 10, 2 and 11, 2 and 12, whatever the hell they were last year, is something I've never seen before.

Never mind in the state of Florida.

I've just never seen it in college football where you go one season to the next and that's what it is.

So I didn't expect anything from Florida State this year and they were better than I expected in the first game.

I expected something from Florida last year, and then the first game, Cam Ord took away my interest in anything Florida-related.

They were very strong at the end of the season.

Very, is doing some heavy lifting there.

They were stronger, much stronger at the end of last season than they were the first half of the season, which ruined Billy Napier, and I didn't think he would recover from it.

And then he loses at home to South Florida with a player spitting in the face of someone to cost in the game as an 18-point favorite.

Where are we with the Florida Gators?

We just had had a week ago, three of the top teams in Florida were in the top 15, and Florida clearly, first time out with that distinction, shit itself.

I think they were a media fabrication entering the season.

I think people paid attention to them fighting for their head coach a little bit and thought that that was some sort of predictive analysis and didn't really pay attention to the talent that they lost.

And while they did well in the portal, they did well in the portal with just outside guys, and they were pretty strong at receiver anyways.

So they didn't, they got smaller along the trenches.

So I thought that this might happen.

Florida's been a weird school, and it's always difficult to manage the expectations there.

Will Mushchamp took the impossible job of following Urban Meyer.

Didn't matter that he made it to an SEC title game and recruited at a top 10 clip.

Bottom fell out.

You understand when you're following that job, you're likely to get canned quickly.

Then Jim McIlwain came around, and he won back-to-back SEC East titles, which was the first head coach coach to do that since Steve Spurrier.

And that wasn't good enough because he generally wasn't like, did that thing with the shark purportedly?

Or, you know what?

That's just fact.

He did that.

Everyone knows this.

Everyone knows that.

That's a fact.

We have proof.

But I mean, when you talk about McAwain and you talk about

Dan Mullen, certainly, when these guys post close to a 700-winning percentage, you have to wonder, like,

the expectations inside the SEC, especially since they've batted the likes of Oklahoma and Texas, you should recalibrate them a little bit.

Now, I don't think this is going to work out for Billy and Apier, but they have a pretty good support system in place when it comes to resources and NIL.

And if they maybe were just a little bit more patient with Dan Mullen, who I think kind of has that now on a smaller scale at UNLV and will show you over time what kind of head coach he is, if he doesn't have to worry about the recruiting, he can be a good head coach.

So I think that they've kind of been a little quick.

He only has a $20 million buyout.

It sounds crazy to say only, but it's not like 85 million or something.

But I do think that they're going to play hard again for their coach.

I think LSU is probably a little overvalued and they'll show some fight.

I don't know if they'll pull off the upset.

They have a crazy run of games here.

It's going to be very difficult.

And I fully expect them to have a new head coach.

And from what I've heard, does not happen to know.

I've only borrowed this from other people that happen to know, is they'll put forth a lucrative offer for Lane Kiffen, and we'll see if that entices him.

Although I don't know if Lane Kiffen will do that, because that dude can win 10 games for the rest of his life at Ole Miss and be a conquering hero.

You do that at Florida, as Jim McElwain and Dan Mullen proved.

Well, that's you lose your job.

That's what is interesting about all of the things that you were saying, the burden of expectations, right?

We saw what the burden of expectations did to the Browns organizationally and on the field, to Baker Mayfield, to Odell Beckham.

The burden of expectations make it so that Florida, yeah, plays in the SEC.

And you've got now a couple of generations that saw what Spurrier did there, saw what Urban Meyer did there, feel like they deserve that.

And so Mullen was a mediocrity when he wasn't a mediocrity.

Expectations.

I feel for DeBoer.

He will not survive that.

No way.

There's no shot he does.

Lane ending up there would be great.

It would.

I mean, he's not going to leave for Florida.

Why would he leave Ole Miss for Florida?

He does love love the coasts of Florida.

Yeah, but oh, man, if he ends up in Alabama, you know he'd take that job just to stick at the Sabin.

The burden of expectations with that stuff makes some of these jobs pressure cookers.

Like the idea that Mike is using the strength of his mouth to say out loud.

They should have stayed longer with Mullen when we all knew what the fires were around that stadium when Mullen was mediocre, but it's what Dave Wandstedt got swallowed by after it's Don Schula and it's Jimmy Johnson.

I have a lot of great stats in my head, but the Pittsburgh Steelers, having only three coaches, feel like what the Packers have felt like having only three quarterbacks for the last 35 years, where

structurally and organizationally, you're always able to evolve to keep up with everybody else.

I'm sure Gators fans probably couldn't see how quickly things changed from an NIL support

basis, right?

So maybe they certainly had their reasons to let go of Dan Mullen.

He didn't, like when he lost his job, they were on a pretty bad run of form.

But also Dan Mullen made Kyle Trask a Heisman finalist.

He finished fourth.

Great Kyle Pitts quarterback.

Yeah, Dan Mullen is a great play caller.

He is a great offensive mind.

Mullen had the only Kyle Pitts I've seen be good.

And I think that if he were surrounded by what Florida has right now, he'd be more successful than Billy Napier, who by all accounts is a nice man, but he's going to be on someone else's staff.

You want to try and explain to me why Kraft is better than Pitts?

I don't understand that one at all, but no one has.

It's one of football's great mysteries.

Everyone still believes in Kyle Pitts, although promising with a different quarterback in there, spraying the field a little bit more.

Michael Pennix is such a gamer.

That game was insane.

We didn't even talk about Bucks Falcons.

I know well, like the last five minutes of that game were just bonkers.

That was drugs.

Pennix is going to be fun as a quarterback, fun on the the goal line.

He did two things near the goal line that were winning plays.

He did not deserve to lose that football player.

Yeah, the Drake London drop.

He was so good, and Baker just

matched him shot for shot.

And Mecca's going to be an incredible receiver for him.

Baker, when he said, like, as soon as he got him in a table.

Tampa was hurt, too.

This dude.

Yeah, Tampa.

Worfs was hurt.

It's been interesting to see Baker Mayfield resurrect himself in a way that always wins that division.

Like, that's nuts to have watched what happened there.

There has been so much flux in that division.

I know it's not a good division, but he's been the best to top it since he's been there.

Here's how I know Baker Mayfield.

The Baker Mayfield is a good discourse is dead.

We know him to be good.

You know why?

Because I was betting on the Falcons that game, and I was terrified of Baker Mayfield marching down the field.

Baker Mayfield's already gotten two of his offensive coordinators head coaching jobs.

He's got to get a third one hired.

We got to stop doing this with the underestimating of Baker Mayfield.

So when you guys say terrified, like this is an interesting way, right?

I saw a lot of people criticizing John Harbaugh because he punted on fourth and two and trusted his defense to not let Josh Allen get back down the field for a field goal.

I

always make my decisions as a coach that way, where I say, what does the defense want me to do here?

And a defense was scared and a stadium was scared that the Ravens would go for it on fourth and two and finish the game, even though it risked leaving Buffalo already in a position to kick a 57-yard field goal to win the game.

When you're talking late game efficiency per Buccaneers communications, after the five-play 63-yard drive to beat Atlanta, since his arrival in 2023, in the final two minutes of regulation, Baker Mayfield is tied for the NFL lead in passing touchdowns and ranks third in passer rating.

So he's been great late.

And that place was an insane asylum.

Like, that's one of the loudest stadiums I've ever heard on television just because of how crazy that game was unfolding.

It is so pathetic for the Cleveland Browns to have worked since their return in 1994 to find a quarterback like they had in Baker Mayfield and shoot him out the door because he had the nerve to play hurt.

Face the Texans this week at Houston.

That should be a win for Tampa.

Ooh, you think so?

I mean,

a season on the brink if you fall to 0-2 for the Houston Texans.

I don't know about Houston.

I think that maybe we saw the best of Houston two seasons ago.

Well, what do they have the following week?

After that, they have the Jets.

They're hosting the Jets.

That should be a dub.

Then the Super Bowl champions come to town.

But I mean they own the Eagles.

They beat them in the playoffs.

They made Kellen Moore reshape that offense.

Then they're at Seattle.

Tough I'd rather talk 49ers.

Well we could do.

I like that because we could do Falcons, which is where we were headed.

This is a rough one for them at Minnesota.

That's going to be a test.

I'd rather talk about it.

That's going to be a test.

Then they have the Panthers.

Panthers, easy peasy.

Chris, what happened with your air conditioning guy there?

Then the Commanders.

That's funny.

The air conditioning just cut off here.

I had an air guy come over, and I got it.

Do you guys tip the air conditioning guy?

When someone comes over, like a plumber, air conditioning, I do as well, and I'm always unsure of whether I'm doing enough.

150 bucks was the bill.

What do you tip?

What?

How good of a job did he do?

He did a very nice job.

What was wrong with it?

It was just over cool.

It was like frozen and stuff and dripping a little.

And he had to be like air, like, suctioned out the water in there a little.

I think 50 is fair.

I'd go over and above if it looked hard to me and if I was deeply appreciative.

It took him about like an hour and 20 minutes

That sounds like a 75 bucker.

I went I went 200 what quiche you gave a $200 tipping

200 total It was 150 gave me 200 that's nice.

That's a nice job out of you.

That's what I felt it was sufficient But you know, he didn't give me a wow, thank you if you're tipping It's generally about 20% 25% just

tipping your well just about any kind of tipping I would say like if you're trying but so you went that's more than most people would give I think put it on the poll at Lebatard show do you tip the air conditioning guy?

Put it also on the poll at Lebetard Show.

Is the air conditioning guy ever not a guy?

Because I don't know whether that previous question is offensive the way that I phrased it.

Could Brad Williams be an air conditioning guy?

Weird fixation to these little people.

What's going on today?

Do you all tip your air conditioning guy?

Because I don't, I know that we've...

I'm not going to lie, I said this before the show, and I got some no's.

I don't think everyone does that.

I don't think everyone does that.

And you gave a hearty tip, which I assume is why you're talking about it.

Like, I assume that it's why you're telling everybody.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're telling everybody, woo, I was generous here.

And I think you know you were generous.

Because I feel this pressure.

Like, I think I overtip because I don't, I, I, the stress of them being unhappy, walking out and being like, this mother bleeper.

So I just get scared and I probably do over tip because I just.

Is it always the same AC person for you?

That's a great question.

Or do you call different like AC things?

Same company.

It's, it's been the same guy.

This guy was a different guy.

So the one that I had yesterday was a different person, but I have had somebody.

Does the person own the company?

Does that make a difference?

Like my guy, Carlos, I'm pretty sure owns the company.

So then do I tip him?

Also, one of Carlos's guys stepped through my ceiling once, and I was not happy about that.

I would imagine, Dan, you feel like, especially if they recognize you, right?

You get then.

Do you do a thing of like, if you're recognized, you tip more?

Well, yes, I had the world's worst waiter.

in Hawaii.

What a title.

Well, but he was nervous.

Wear a sash or like a trophy.

How'd you know?

No, because he got three parts of my order wrong and I only ordered three things.

Look, if you're a server and you recognize, he recognized you.

That's right.

He got nervous and you still screw it like that.

Well, but that's why I had to overtip, though, because I can't leave a shitty tip in that spot.

So what was the order?

You strike me as a weird order.

No, it was super simple.

No, no, no.

Can I get some cereal with coconut milk?

He was just nervous.

No cereal?

At a seafood restaurant, yes.

Just cocoa puffs.

Yes, that's what I ordered.

I went to dinner with Dan once, and he didn't order food or a drink.

To be a a fly on the table.

And we didn't know that was happening until he was the last to order.

And then he said, no, I'll have nothing, please.

And we're like, wait, what?

Why are we here?

Sparkling water.

Was that Mama's Fish House?

We were here to talk.

No, I like that, though.

No, no, Mama's Fish House had great service.

I feel bad for this guy now because he listens to the podcast.

How did the guy get it wrong?

What did he do?

He just got.

I ordered three things and he brought three things out that were wrong.

All at the same time.

Was it your wife's order and he just put it in the wrong place?

Was this appetizer, main course, and dessert?

Drink.

I'm always impressed.

I'm always impressed when a restaurant knows what seat the food goes to.

You can tell that's a good restaurant when it's like they know that this steak goes to this seat.

Whereas sometimes it's like, who gets the who got the filet?

And then you have to raise your hand.

I like it when they know what seat.

How off was it?

Like, did you say I'd like a Coca-Cola and they brought you like a

vice or something?

Everything was wrong.

Billy, every single thing was wrong.

A little private insight into my personality.

I privately revel

when

I'm like, you sure you don't want to write this down?

And I can tell, like, they're not writing down the order.

They're like, got it over there.

I'm like, all right.

I'm going to.

My order is going to get more complicated.

Yeah.

Are you sure?

Okay.

And then they come back and they

mess it up.

Sometimes I don't even articulate it.

Can I get the ceviche with no garlic, please?

In my mind, I'm like, Should have written it down.

As long as you're close, I'm good.

You know?

Like, I'm not going to send anything back.

Let's be real.

Oh, i never send food let's be close enough i never send food back let's let's i'm real there i already know cheese i have a knife i'll take the cheese i'm not gonna send it back but i know i know i will take this

honestly it sounds like messing up your orders is the way to a better tip because dan just said he over tipped because the guy got all of his orders wrong which is like if i know that if on podcasters out there if you if you're one of going to be one of dan's future servers screw it up screw up his order and you're going to get a massive tip just say you know me you can extort me That's how it happens.

Like, just say you know me.

Get me kunoin.

Get me kunoin.

I want to talk about home security for a minute.

For the longest time, I thought it was just alarms and sirens that once somebody breaks in, you deal with it.

But when you think about it, that's already too late.

That's reactive.

I had my car broken into on my property a while back.

The only thing I could do was call 911.

That's reactive.

I don't like leaving things up to chance.

That's why I decided to install Simply Safe.

Why?

Because they flipped the idea of home security by making it proactive.

Their Active Guard Outdoor Protection uses AI-powered cameras to actually identify people lurking around your property.

And here's the key.

Simply Safe's monitoring agents step in before anything goes down.

They'll talk directly to intruders through the camera, light them up with spotlights, and even call the cops if they need to.

That's not reacting.

That's stopping crime before it starts.

No contracts, no hidden fees.

That's why they've been named best home security system by U.S.

News and World Report five years in a row.

And they back it up with a 60-day money-back guarantee.

SimplySafe is offering Lebatard show listeners 50% off a new system with professional monitoring.

Plus, your first month is free.

Visit simplysafe.com slash DLB to claim the offer.

That's simplysafe.com slash DLB.

There's no safe like SimplySafe.

This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.

We've all done this, gone to the wrong people for advice.

You've got real problems and suddenly you're oversharing with your barber, your bartender, maybe even a stranger in the bathroom line.

I know I've done this a time or two.

And look, they're great for small talk, but they're not trained to help you with anxiety, relationships, or depression.

That's the difference with therapy.

Therapists are credentialed, clinically trained, and actually know what they're doing.

Therapy isn't just for huge life crises either.

It's about learning coping skills, setting boundaries, and getting tools to deal with everyday chaos.

BetterHelp has been helping people find the right match for over 10 years, and they've got a 4.9 rating based on 1.7 million reviews.

With over 30,000 licensed therapists, it's the world's largest online therapy platform serving more than 5 million people.

As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

Find the one with BetterHelp.

Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash DLB.

That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash DLB.

Howdy folks, it's Mike Ryan.

It's also NFL season.

Lots of big-time matchups.

You know your boy is an NFL free agent, so he's looking all across that NFL schedule for the very best games.

And when I do, my very first and only stop is the Game Time app, because the Game Time app gives the advantage back to the fans.

It's a hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in just a few taps.

It's incredibly easy to use, and the Game Time guarantee means that you can trust that you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time and at the very best price.

Plus, fees are always included.

So what you see is what you pay.

You have incredible features such as zone deals.

You get to save even more when you choose a section and let GameTime choose the seats.

You get panoramic seat views.

If you know nothing about the venue you're about to buy tickets for, this is a huge tool.

Take the guesswork out of buying NFL tickets with Game Time.

Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code Dan for $20 off your first purchase.

Terms apply.

Again, create an account and redeem code DAN for $20 off.

Swipe, tap, ticket, go.

Download the Game Time app today.

Don Lebatard.

I got a Slater scoop.

Stugats.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

I am prepared to do the very hardest of things and admit I was wrong.

If Matthew Berry commits to what it is he's presently doing for us today and our listeners, which gives them the greatest of information as fast as possible.

If he does this for us all season, I will come around.

I will participate in fantasy.

I will be the ambassador for fantasy that Matthew Berry has always been because I am so grateful for both his expertise and his time.

And this is valuable stuff that he has for our listeners.

He's going to do it every week.

Before we open up the club, the Quervote Club, let's get as much fantasy info for our listeners as they could use from the very best of sources.

Give me some imaging so that we can introduce him.

He's going to do it every week during the season, and I will be a fantasy zealot by the end of this season.

Let's do it.

Matthew Perry.

Matthew Perry.

Matthew Perry.

Matthew Berry.

That's great.

Take it away, Matthew.

That's awesome.

I love that.

I love that.

That's awesome.

Thank you guys.

Appreciate that.

Thank you, Dan.

That is a worthwhile goal.

I will commit to that.

To get Dan Glovatar to be a fantasy zealot, honestly, just not a fantasy hater, I think is a win.

Anything beyond that is gravy.

So I'm on board.

I'm in, man.

You better give your information.

You're not here for the small talk.

You're here to rush through it fast.

He is the host of Fantasy Football Hour with Matthew Berry.

And he's at Juju's house.

You should watch on Peacock, and he is at Juju's house.

Let's go, Matthew.

All right.

All right.

In week one, Dak Prescott had the fourth highest average depth of target in the NFL.

And then that same week, the New York Giants, who they play this week, will have the sixth most yard for completion.

You can throw deep on the Giants.

I thought Dak looked great.

He's a top 10 play for me this week.

Last week, no team in the NFL had a higher pass rate over expectation than the Los Angeles Chargers.

This week, they play the Raiders, who last week, no team faced more pass attempts than the Raiders.

You can throw on the Raiders, by the way, dating back to last season.

Justin Herbert has now finished as a top 10 fantasy quarterback in four straight games.

Last week, here's the entire list of players on the Cincinnati Bengals that received at least one rushing attempt that were a running back.

Chase Brown, that's the entire list.

Literally no other running back of the Bengals got a carry last week.

Jaguars 27th in success rate against running back rushes.

last week.

You can run on the Jaguars.

Chase Brown due for a big game.

How about the Carolina Panthers, who last week allowed 200 rushing yards and 6.3 yards per carry?

James Conner, Trey Benson, both worthwhile this week.

Last week, no running back in the NFL allowed more,

ran more routes or was targeted on more of his routes than Dylan Sampson.

The Browns are 11 and a half point underdogs to the Ravens.

They're going to be throwing quite a bit.

I think we'll see a little bit of Quinchon Judkins, but it's mostly going to be Sampson in the pass-catching role against the Ravens as the Browns are down big and they're going to be throwing a lot.

By the way, when the Browns are throwing, they're also throwing to Cedric Tillman.

In the last five full games, dating back to last year, Cedric Tillman is averaging 18.1 fantasy points per game.

Dan, just to give you a comparison, last year, that would have been better than CeeDee Lamb.

He would have been a top eight fantasy wide receiver last year on a points per game basis.

No one's talking about Cedric Tillman.

They should.

Oh, by the way, he's outscored Jerry Judy, his teammate, in four of the last five games.

Everyone likes Judy more.

That's wrong.

I disagree on that.

By the way, over the last 14 games dating back to last year, Jacoby Myers of the Raiders is averaging 15.7 fantasy points per game.

Last year, that would have been wide receiver 15.

He was drafted way outside of that.

He's a top 20 wide receiver.

Just no one ever talks about Jacoby Myers.

And last week, among tight ends that ran at least 15 routes,

no one was targeted on a higher percentage of his routes than Tyler Warren of the Indianapolis Colts.

I expect Pat Sertan to be on Michael Pittman.

So if you're Daniel Jones, what are you doing?

You're throwing a Tyler Warren this weekend.

He's into my veins.

Fucking machine.

He's the host of Fantasy Football Hour with Matthew Berry.

Watch on Peacock.

If he does that 15 more times, I will be a zealot by the end of the season.

Thank you.

I'm grateful for your time, sir.

Appreciate you, Dan, as always.

See you guys.

Thank you.

Who picks up the slack in Jaden Reed's absence?

People are going to ring.

Dantavian Wicks.

Tucker Props, the guy I trust the most, but I think Wicks gets the biggest boost with a reed injury.

Can I cut Colston Loveland, or is he really terrible?

The boy loves the deal.

Why are you talking like that?

That's all the time we have with Matthew Berry when he talks about it.

It was Colson Loveland or somebody else, and the answer is somebody else.

I didn't even hear it.

Yeah, you couldn't hear it because he was away from the mic for reasons no one understands.

It was a strange choice by him.