Hour 2: The 10 AM Ludacris Concert (feat. Jessica Smetana)

41m
"I save my beef until like Week 10, and then I get really beefy."

Jess joins us to discuss some of the headlines around college football heading into Week 5, including Mike Gundy's firing and John Mateer's injury. Plus, Tony has a massive scheduling conflict that could get in the way of the Witching Hour, Chris is becoming everything he ever made fun of, and Dan has a brutal Ashton Jeanty stat.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Press play and read along

Runtime: 41m

Transcript

All right, Smirnoff, official vodka of the NFL, world's number one vodka. Chris Cody, you're with me here.
Smirnoff!

Wow, you're on the money with Smirnoff. Spinoff.
I'm gonna ask you, Chris, what's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff! Not your favorite game day drink. What's your favorite game day food? Smirnoff!

All right, here's the deal: game day is everything: the noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again. Spirit off.

Smirnoff off belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff! Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

They've been doing it since 1864, which is, I don't even want to do the math. It's a long time.
It's like when Greg Cody was born. They're award-winning.

They make cocktails super easy and they're all about bringing fans together. So yeah, we do game days.
That's their thing. And if you're over 21, you should too.
Why, Chris? Smearing off.

Grab a bottle of Smearinoff at your local retailer and head to Smearinoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Smearing off.
Please drink responsibly. Smearing off.

Number 21, vodka distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smearinoff Company.
New York, New York. Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.
Smearing off.

Now is a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila.
Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.
Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like, Cuervo, I think you could lay out, especially for one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Cuervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.
Cuervo. Cuervo.
The tequila.

that invented tequila. Broximo, Cuervo.com, please drink responsibly.
Cuervo.

This episode is brought to you by Indeed. You're ready to move your business forward, but first, you need to find the right team.
Start your search with Indeed sponsored jobs.

It can help you reach qualified candidates fast, ensuring your listing is the first one they see. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs are 90% more likely to report a hire than non-sponsored jobs.

See the results for yourself. Get a $75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com/slash podcast.
Terms and conditions apply.

This is the Dan Labator Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

Against the Spread is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings, the crown is yours.
Tony, go ahead. Against the spread.
Thank you, Roy. We're starting off in Thursday night football.

We've got Seahawks traveling over to the Arizona Cardinals, and the Cardinals are not that good.

Seahawks, surprisingly good, Dan. That's a team that when I was asking Diana, I thought she was going to mention the Seahawks yesterday, saying that's a team that nobody's really talking about.

The Seahawks are an interesting team. Sam Donald playing well, Jackson Smith and Jigba, wide receiver one playing awesome.
Okay, defense playing tough.

I know they haven't really played anybody, but this is their first division game. And the Cardinals, we all know, suck.

Suck. So much so, Seahawks are a point and a half favorite against the

Arizona Cardinals at the Big Toaster.

Okay?

We're going to go Seahawks

minus one and a half

against the Cardinals. Sam Darnold.
Over two touchdowns, by the way. Block that in.

That was against the sport.

I'm going with Virginia. Good right there.
I'm surprised you weren't distracted there. Why don't you do it back to him? I'm going with Virginia.
I like the Who's. That offense can move the ball.

They had one game where they had 700 yards of offense. I'm a big fan of Chandler Morris.
From TCU to North Texas and now to Whoville. I think this is a scary night game for FSU.

They may win, but it's going to be one of those shootout type of games. Nothing is given in the ACC.
Everything is earned. I like the Who's plus seven and a half.
Oh, cancel spread.

Oh, cancel spread. You are the biggest national proponent of Virginia football that I have heard this century.

Wow, you haven't heard that their offense can light it up? You have been very big on Virginia football, and I don't hear a lot of people saying what what you're saying about Virginia football.

Perhaps Jessica will say some of the same. Mike Gundy, I've been telling you that for the last two years, Mike Gundy has been in charge of what seems like the worst big football program in America.

He has been fired, and while many of you cite his I'm a man, I'm 40 speech, I think he had one to rival it.

So play, we're going to play both. of them here.

Let's play both sounds, but play whichever one you want first, Roy, whether it's I'm a man, I'm I'm 40, or whether what I believe to be just as bad a press conference that Mike Cundy gave.

So I looked it up on my phone. What would be the legal limit? Oklahoma is 0.08,

and Ollie was 0.1.

So I looked it up, and it was based on body weight. Not to get into the legal side of it, but I thought really two or three beers or four.
I'm not justifying what Ollie did.

I'm telling you what decision I made.

Well, I thought I've probably done that a thousand times in my life.

That sounds like justifying it and getting into the legal part of it. Like, he wasn't going to do either of them.
He doesn't want to do the legal part, but he ended up doing both. That's 4,000 beers.

And let's play his other more famous press conference, the one that will be his entire career's remembrance, even though he occasionally won 10 games, none of which you remember.

If your child goes down the street and somebody makes fun of him because he dropped a pass in a pickup game

or says he's fat and he comes home crying to his mom,

you'd understand.

But you haven't had that.

But someday you will. And when your child comes home, you'll understand.

If you want to go after an athlete, one of my athletes, you go after one that doesn't do the right things.

You don't downgrade him because he does everything right and may not play as well on Saturday. And you let us make that decision.
That's why I don't read the newspaper. Because it's garbage.

And the editor that let it come out is garbage.

Attacking an amateur athlete for doing everything right.

And then you want to write articles about guys that don't do things right and downgrade them the ones that do make plays. Are you kidding me? Where are we at in society today?

Come after me.

I'm a man. I'm 40.

Welcome, Jessica. What were your thoughts on Mike Gundy being fired? It was about, it was a couple of games late.

He was a lot more entertaining when Oklahoma State was good than it's been the last couple years, but I wouldn't even say it was a couple of games late, Dan. Well, I guess I would say that.

It was like four games late. I don't really understand why they did this now on a Tuesday during a game week and not last year when he agreed to restructure his deal and clean house of coaches.

Like, it just seemed like the writing was on the wall last year. They went winless in the Big 12, and I really don't understand the timing of all of this.
It kind of reeks of dysfunction.

Well, they just lost to Tulsa, and then before that, the week, but they lost to Tulsa at home. They got blown out by Tulsa at home, and they lost the week before.
Who'd they lose to the week before?

Because they lost another game where they weren't competitive. They got destroyed by Oregon in an embarrassing fashion.
And it was 50.

After Mike Gundy made comments about NIL, which has been sort of the issue issue the last few seasons, that Oklahoma State has not been competitive in NIL.

But yes, Dan, like the Tulsa game was actually a close game, which is almost worse that like you almost could have beaten Tulsa. Those schools are very close to one another.

But yeah, it just, I just don't really, they got blown out so many times last year.

Like I really just don't understand why do it on a Tuesday when you played on Friday and now you have a game on Saturday, your offensive coordinator is taking over as the interim head coach.

It's very strange. Zazlo, are you going to be at Georgia, Alabama this week? Yeah, I'm at Athens this week, and I'm very excited, actually.
That's going to be awesome.

Jessica, do you know what, do you feel like you know what Alabama is?

I don't feel like I know what any team is yet. I do know that I'm more skeptical on Virginia's offense than Mike is.

I will say the caliber of defense Virginia has played so far this season, and yes, Mike, they have put up a lot of points against William and Mary in Coastal Carolina, but Florida State's defense right now in DFEI is top 40 versus NC State, which is the next best defense that Virginia has played this season,

ranking somewhere around 77 at the moment.

And Virginia was able to score 31 points on them, but I'm a little bit more skeptical they're able to do quite as much damage against Florida State, but remains to be seen. So you'll be right.

So Alabama last year beat George. It was an awesome game in Tuscaloosa.

That was like the last time we felt good or Alabama fans felt good about Kalen DeBoer because the very next week they lost to Vanderbilt.

If they win in Athens this weekend, Jess, like, what do you think the conversation starts to sound like around the Alabama head coach?

Honestly, I think that it will be a lot of Georgia's not that good. I mean, like, we already saw Georgia down to the wire with Tennessee last weekend.

I also think that if you go back to last year, I look, Jalen Milro won my September Heisman last year. He is an electric college football player.

But even the second half against Georgia last year, Alabama let them all the way back into the game, and it took heroics from Ryan Williams and Milro to ultimately win that game.

So there was a lot of skepticism, I think, that Alabama was ready in the first half. They did a lot of like scripted stuff well.

They had a really good game plan, but then when Georgia was able to overcome some of their issues offensively, Alabama didn't have a great response to that.

So I do think Alabama has a long way to go before the Kalen DeBoer doubters are proven wrong.

Georgia's a small favorite at home. Kirby Smart has beaten Alabama Alabama.
How many?

One time? Not a loss.

What is he against Alabama?

One time. 24 maybe? No,

I think it might be like one.

Seven.

I think he's been pretty bad against Alabama, and I'm not remembering the victory off the top of my head.

But it was also Sabin, and Sabin's gone. Like the window's open now, Dan.
Sabin was Kirby's foil to a lot of people's minds. So there's really no excuse now.

So Milro won your September Heisman last year. Who's winning your September Heisman this year? And it could could it be John Matier who just broke his hand and left OU in a pretty tough situation.

It's actually Diego Pavia. He's still the front runner for the September Heisman.
But yeah, John Matier's injury is not

a good one, obviously. Like it seems like he could be back by the start of November.

It really is a bummer for the Red River showdown, shootout, whatever we call it now,

because those are two teams that I would have loved to see play each other at full strength. That's Texas and Oklahoma.

So if he does come back and Oklahoma can sort of keep it together over the next few games, I think, you know, their defense is really going to have to step up and make things miserable for South Carolina's offense.

South Carolina's offensive line has already struggled this season. And we saw Oklahoma's defense like really attack Auburn's quarterback last weekend.

So they're going to have to really have some standout defensive performances, which of course is like, that's Brent Venable's baby. I think that they're they're up to the task.

But the other issue for Oklahoma's offense so far this season has been like inconsistency in the run game. And it's difficult when your backup quarterback's coming in.

Now, he did play a few games last year, Michael Hawkins Jr.

But if you don't have a run game to really lean on and rely on, that makes his job a lot more difficult.

So I think Oklahoma's going to have to figure out some answers there and just play really, really great defense. They're both going on at the same time this weekend, Jess.
It's Saturday evening.

If you could only watch one, Georgia, Alabama, or Penn State, Oregon. This is what the quad box is all about, Zaz.
I don't have to ever make that decision ever again. What year is that question from?

Yeah, like there's a lot of watching

sound?

Let me rephrase. Pretend this is a question from 2016.

I don't know who you're impersonating there, not me. I don't know.
I think I would probably choose Penn State, Oregon, to be honest with you. It's a wideout game.

Penn State really hasn't been tested at all this year. Oregon also hasn't played like a top 25 team yet.
I want to see their quarterback against a good defense, Dante Moore.

It's a tough road game for Oregon, who I think, I don't know what the spread is on that game.

There's a lot of games this weekend as where the road team is favored by enough points that I'm like, hmm, I'm curious about that. Like USC and Illinois.

So Illinois just got blown out by 50 points, 60 points to Indiana last weekend, but USC is only a six and a half point favorite going to Urbana-Champaign this weekend.

So like there's a few games like that.

Notre Dame at Arkansas, the line in some places down to three and a half, which to me indicates Notre Dame's best defensive player, Leonard Moore, maybe he's not going to play this weekend.

He's had a little bit of an ankle. That's really bad for Notre Dame's defense, who really needs him to be able to play.
So I'm kind of,

that's what I'm going to be watching this weekend is some of the road favorites going in across cross-country trips, seeing how they fare, places like Oregon and Penn State.

Yeah, USC had a late night game last week and now they're kicking things off with a noon start in Champaign. That's probably what the line is taking into account.

I was really into this Notre Dame-Arkansas game before the season because I thought that could be a tricky spot for Notre Dame.

And now I'm even more interested because Arkansas got caught looking ahead. I know Memphis is a good football team, but the way that game landed in their schedule was awfully nice for Memphis.

Arkansas shouldn't have lost that game. They shouldn't have, but Memphis is a solid team, but a lot of people are citing look-ahead factor.
It was sandwiched in between two big games.

What do you think?

You think Arkansas's running back was looking ahead in the last three minutes when he fumbled inside the five-yard.

I'm saying the reason why the game was close was because, you know, Arkansas was potentially. I mean, these are all cliches.
I don't actually know. I doubt they were all like, hey, we can't work.

You told me at the beginning of the show today that you know ball and I don't know ball. No, I didn't say I know ball.
I just said you don't. You said you know ball.
I mean, I know more ball than you.

I don't know what you're doing right now. You don't know more ball than me.
No, it wasn't Jeremy. He says he doesn't go to you for ball.
Yeah, it was Jeremy too. I don't go to either of you for ball.

But what do you make of this game, Jess? Because Notre Dame's defense, I know their offense is scoring crazy.

CJ Carr seems like the truth, but that defense only gets more scary when they give up 30 points at Purdue. Yeah, well, one of those touchdowns was in garbage time.

Like, we talked about this extensively in my podcast, The Echoes with Mike Gold Jr.

Notre Dame, overall, their coverage hasn't been what was expected coming into the season.

They had to start two true freshmen last year, or last weekend, I'm sorry, because of injury, and a red shirt freshman at safety because of a targeting penalty from the game before.

So they were playing a little bit inexperienced in the secondary, which is a position group that was excellent for them last year.

And again, like I said, Leonard Moore being out, and he's one of the probably the best corner in college football, that's a really tough loss to overcome for Notre Dame.

So they really have to figure out what they're doing in the secondary. And I think that starts up front with the pass rush.

They've got to be able to figure out how to get some pressure on the quarterback. Taylon Green for Arkansas is a really exciting player to watch.
He does make mistakes, but he can move and

he can exploit you if you're not disciplined. So I think it's a tough task for Notre Dame defensively, but you're right, Mike.
Arkansas's defense has also let teams run the ball well.

Notre Dame has two awesome running backs, Jadarian Price and Jeremiah Love. CJ Carr has been great.
The wide receivers have been really solid. The offensive line's gotten better every week.
So it...

I'm taking the overs in every Notre Dame game until proven otherwise. I mean, this was a team last year that shut teams down defensively.
That has not been the case so far this year.

And granted, they have played two top 25 teams to start the year and did well enough against Purdue to blow them out. So, you know, take it with a grain of salt.

Folks, fuel your game day with the unbeatable crunch of Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season. Perfect for sharing with friends, tailgating outside the stadium, or cheering from the couch.

Grab a bag from the produce aisle of your local grocery store and savor the game one peanut at a time. Let's get nutty.

Hey, Amin here, and the NBA on Prime is back tomorrow with another great doubleheader.

The action starts with one of the best rivalries in sports as Luka Doncicz and the Los Angeles Lakers face Jalen Brown and the Boston Celtics.

Then, Cooper Flag and the Dallas Mavericks meet SGA and the Oklahoma City Thunder. And if you're not a Prime member, that's not a problem.
Sign up for a 30-day free trial to get started today.

The Lakers and Celtics, the Mavericks and Thunder. Coverage starts tomorrow at 6:30 p.m.
Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply.
See amazon.com slash Amazon Prime for details.

All right, look, it's the holidays again and people are running around and getting stressed out and they're asking me, Roy, what should I get? What should I do? Give me some recipes.

And every year I tell them the same exact thing. Get meat.
It's not that hard. It's not that complicated.
It's meat.

And Omaha Steaks, they deliver the world's best steak experience, USDA certified Tinder Steaks. It tastes like someone actually cares about you.
Burgers, steaks, comfort meals.

All that stuff makes you go, mm-hmm, that'll work. And now during the cyber sale, you can get 50% off site-wide and an extra 20% off select favorites at omahasteaks.com.

Plus, our listeners get an extra $35 off with promo Dan at checkout. I've had Omaha steaks many times.
I've given them out too. People lose their minds.

You hand them that box and suddenly they think you're the greatest human alive. Five generations, same family, 100% guaranteed.
Save big on unforgettable gifts with Omaha steaks.

Visit omahasteaks.com for 50% off site-wide and an extra 20% off select favorites during the cyber sale. And for an extra $35 off, use promo code Dan at checkout.

That's omahasteaks.com, promo code DAN at checkout. Turns apply, see site for details.

Don Lebatard.

I don't look smarty either. Stugats.
Women stay home in the kitchen where they belong. This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

You got beef with any top 25 teams right now? I don't have beef with anyone ever, Zaz. What are you talking about? I mean, like the rankings.
You got beef with any of the rankings.

That's week four. I don't have beef.
Well, I save my beef to like week 10, and then I get really beefy.

Do you have a way to get intrigued about Clemson UNC?

I'm scheduled scheduled for that. The most exciting thing about Clemson UNC is that they're doing something before the game that everyone should do all the time.

They announced there's like this concert series going on at North Carolina this year and Ludacris would be performing before the game. The kickoff time was TBD.

Everyone thought, hmm, maybe it'll be, you know, primetime kickoff because it's Clemson and UNC. No, they got a noon slot.
So Ludacris will supposedly be performing at 10 a.m.

This is what time all concerts should start, Dan. 10 a.m.
You're in there, you're drinking your coffee. Maybe you're still in your jammies.
The concert ends.

You go to the game and then you go home and you go to bed. Why aren't we doing this more often? Should I go to the ludicrous concert? Yes.
I think I'm going to be there. But

10 a.m. is too early for a ludicrous concert.
I don't know.

Put it on the poll, please, Jude. You're at Lebatard Show.
Is 10 a.m. too early for a ludicrous concert? It's ludicrous.
Luda. Give me that energy.
We need to do more 10 a.m. concerts.

Like there, I saw that there's like some bar that opened in New York where it opens at like 8 o'clock and then people come and dance and then they leave at like 10 o'clock.

I need to figure out where this thing is because that is my timeline. You eat an early dinner, early bird special dance, 6.30.

You go out, you dance, you have a couple drinks, you're in bed by 11 o'clock. I can't think of a single thing that sounds better than that.
You are a young person.

How is it that you are a fossilized mummy inside?

I love sleeping. I love my bed.
I have the most comfortable bed

in the entire world.

i have just like an amazing setup i have wonderful sheets i have a wonderful duvet down it just feels so good when i get into bed at night and i think about it from the minute i wake up i think about how cozy i'm gonna be come 10 30 and these stupid 11 p.m eastern big 10 conference games are cramping my style i hate it i hate staying up to watch wmba playoff games i hate all of it i want to be in bed falling asleep to the hawaii game that and i wake up maybe in like the second quarter it's like you know 1245 or something and then I fall back asleep and then I wake up again and then I fall back asleep you're thinking about your bed while you're in your bed in the morning you're thinking about getting back into your bed at night literally like I wake up and I'm like this feels so good I can't wait to be back here in 12 hours Chess what did you make of Wit Weeks and Ling Kiffen's daughter hard launching?

Wait. Okay, I have a prop.
Hold on. Hold on.
Stay there. Okay, Vam.
All right, we're going to be right here. For those that don't know, where could we go?

For those that don't know,

Wit Weeks, who's a a tremendous player for LSU, their team captain,

he decided to announce to the world that he is dating Lane Kiffen's daughter, and it just so happens to be game week between LSU and Ole Miss. So the head games have started early.

I think that Lane Kiffen has already said take the over on social media, saying that he's got to run it up on that LSU defense. So the banter has already begun.

And today there is a special on ESPN, The Many Lives of Lane Kiffen. I might actually be in on that because...
He looks good. I saw some clips.

I mean, he's had a remarkably interesting career and life. So I'm dialed.
Is a coach allowed to tweet out take the over?

Chris, I had the same question. Like, that can't be.
That just certainly, there must be some sort of rules about that.

Mike, I don't know if you said this while I was getting my prop. Do you know what Weeks' nickname is? I do not know his nickname.
Well, let me show you. He's the honky badger.

That is.

Wow. If you guys remember, I said last year Lehman was producing that SEC Any Given Saturday show that was on Netflix that came out a couple months ago.

Which in no way has influenced your Diego Pavia takes. No, not at all.
I mean,

Lee barely talked to Diego Pavia.

That's not true. Total, full disclosure, he shot a lot with Vanderbilt.

The honky badger is, that is the nickname of Witt Weeks. He wears like a very slutty crop top.
He's like a white middle linebacker.

So we have this koozie now courtesy of the Weeks brothers. I'm not sure which one.
There's three of them on LSU, Dan.

I'm not sure which one gave this to Lehman, but he shot some stuff with them at their The Honey Badgers retired, right? He's not in the league anymore. The Honey Badgers.

He was on Amazon pregame coverage. I was impressed with him, and Derek Carr got high marks there, too.

Last question before we let you go here, and again, The Echoes is the name of her podcast for all your Notre Dame information.

Sister Jean retired. Retired from what?

From her job being

the basketball lady.

Here's the thing, Dan. So yesterday, have you guys talked about the rapture yet? A little bit yesterday.
How old is Sister Jean? Is she 106? 106, I believe. That's too old.

Yesterday, I saw the quote graphic come up that she was retiring, and I thought that she had passed away.

And I am a jackass, so I wanted to be the first person to the group chat with the rapture joke. And then I realized after the fact, she just said retired.
So I felt really terrible about that.

I guess I would feel worse if she did actually pass away. But I mean, she's 106.
Like, she's obviously had an incredible life. So anyways, shout out to Sister Jean, not raptured.

Yeah, I guess my beef with the top 25s as, let's bring it full circle, Illinois still being ranked after losing by 50 points is kind of silly. I'm with you.

I don't think you could be ranked if you lose to anyone by 50. Yeah, that's a lot of points.
I thought you didn't do beef until week 10. What happened? You're changing your opinion.

This is like, what's it called? Like impossible chicken or whatever. This is like fake beef.
Like it's vegan beef. It's made out of like, I don't know, seitan, whatever that is called.
That's my beef.

I don't think it's called seitan.

Seitan. S-E-I-T-A-N.
I don't know how to pronounce that word.

You guys don't know anything about vegan food. I don't.

But

I would say seitan would probably be bad for branding. I would say maybe seitan.
Sitan. Milslov.
Mike Bryan. It's a wheat derivative.
What is your take on being 106 years old?

That's too old for somebody.

People shouldn't be that old. Time to die? My grandma always says, put a bullet in my head if I live that long, which is very inappropriate.

Especially like these last few years, like Sister Jean, like she lived through COVID. You just got to be like, ah, she's lived through a lot more than COVID.

We're not exactly like ending the message on the map.

She's just retired. She's on the back diet now.

She lived through the bubonic plague. COVID's a disease come lately.
All the pilots she's probably had.

It's crazy that she's lived long enough for them to invent germ theory and then also rebuke germ theory again.

I mean, holy crap.

That is Jessica's grandmother. Sister Jean? That is not Sister Jean.
Good seeing you, Jessica. Thank you for being on with us.
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

The holidays are coming up, which means traditions.

Some families have these beautiful, wholesome rituals, and then some of us are just trying to keep our family from arguing over who ruined the stuffing last year.

But this time of year can also be a lot. It gets dark at 4.30, everyone's stressed, and suddenly the holidays go from magical to nightmare.

It's time to start some new traditions, ones that aren't chaotic. Therapy can be one of those new traditions and BetterHelp makes it easy to fit into your life.

They've got over 30,000 licensed therapists. They've helped more than 5 million people and they've been doing this for over 12 years.

Plus, they average a 4.9 rating for more than 1.7 million reviews, which is better consistency than any team I root for gives me during the holiday season.

You fill out a quick questionnaire, they match you with someone who fits your needs, and if it's not the right fit, you can switch therapist anytime.

This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash DLB.
That's betterhelp.com/slash DLB.

Holidays, fun.

Holidays as a dad? Tough. Travel, gifts, matching pajamas.
Don't get me started on matching pajamas. It's hot in Miami.
My wife says, why don't you want to do this with us? My daughter's crying.

Anyways, school parties, hosting a family. Next thing I know, I basically put Christmas on my credit card and have no idea what I spent where.

If you want to keep your finances under control this holiday season, you need to be using Monarch, rated Wall Street Journal's best budgeting app at 25.

Monarch's the all-in-one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface on your laptop or on your phone.

Right now, just for our listeners, Monarch is offering 50% off your first year a massive deal.

Monarch showed me how fast the holiday budget was disappearing, flights, gifts, late-night online shopping, and helped me pump the brakes before the bill hit.

Now, my wife and I do quick money check-ins, look at our holiday spending category, and actually enjoy the holidays without starting January and the new year in panic.

Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code DAN at monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year.

That's 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code DAN. And don't give me those matching pajamas, I swear.

This time of year, it's a lot. Lights, noise, pumpkin spice, it's everywhere.
But one feeling that we are all still chasing is coziness.

And Bumbers has the socks, slippers, and tees, basically everything to get you there. There's something oddly therapeutic about a fresh pair of socks.

And Bumbus knows that feeling and builds it into everything they make. Slippers you can melt into, tees that feel just right, comfort that holds up, wash after wash.

And gifting, bumpers makes that easy too. Your wife, your kid, your kid's girlfriend, your neighbor's newborn, your mom's new

friend. Yeah, they got socks for them all.
They're even stepping up the footwear game. New colors, new styles, fluffy things, suede things.
If you got feet, they've got something for you.

And the best part, every pair you buy, Bombers donates one to someone experiencing homelessness. Cozy for you, cozy for someone else.
I wear bumpers.

I got myself three pairs of underwear from bombers and they don't ride up, they don't bunch, they are very comfortable, very soft, and enjoyable to wear. It's cozy season, it's bumpers season.

Head over to bombers.com/slash Dan and use code DAN for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombb-as.com/slash d-a-n and use code d-a-n at checkout.

Don Lebatard.

I don't think I ever got that many roses in my whole life. Stugats.
Certainly not from your lovely grandfather, God. May I soul rest in peace? This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

I want to get to a handful of things here, including something that the Onion is reporting, but we've got to get to

my phone now. But first, I need the Ray Hudson call of the day because you guys think I'm going to forget about this, and we're going to do it every day until

the whole thing. Every day until the World Cup,

Ray Hudson,

Ray Hudson,

Ray Hudson,

Ray Hudson,

Ray Hudson,

Ray Hudson,

Ray Hudson Cole of the Doctor

Ray Hudson, Ray Hudson, Ray Hudson,

Ray Hudson, Ray Hudson, Ray Hudson Cole, up on the day.

Right, Hudson, right, Ray Hudson right, Ray Hudson right, ring hudson right, ring hudson right, ring hudson right, ring hudson right, run ups and

right,

this is what damn on it

wanted

This is what damn mommy

wanted a

call for the deck

You want it

wanted

coffee

What? Red Hutson Red Hutson Ray Hutson Ray Hutson Ray Hutson Red Huts and Coffee Coffee

Red

This is one day.

This is one day.

I'd like the call now as well, though. Oh, okay.

football than this, people!

Xavi sets the table beautifully.

And Lionel Messi once again just cup and lies

like only Lionel can. Trickier than a monkey of a monkey tree.
Messi, messy, messy.

Pure scientific football again.

This is a report from the Onion Dateline Indianapolis with observers noting that the tragic development evidently has yet to affect the show's content in any way,

reports confirmed Monday that no one working at the Pat McAfee show seems to have noticed that co-host AJ Hawk has been dead for the last three days.

Quote, I saw that. That was funny.

He's got like blood coming out of his nose and he's like gaunt.

Hold on a minute. I got to read more from the report.

Quote, what's his face has been dead since last week, but look, none of the other guys are even aware of it.

Pat's just going on about the Ravens run defense while the poor guy slumped over and decomposing in his chair longtime viewer russell barker said of hawk's bloated

putrefying corpse acknowledging that the deceased talk show personality's glassy empty stare has grown even glassier and emptier since his passing quote you'd think someone would have picked up on the fact that he's not blinking or moving but pat and the toxic table boys are cutting it up with kirk herbstreak like it's a regular show or maybe they're just tuning him out like they always do end quote at At press time, sources reported that a rat had begun gnawing on Hawk's face as

McAfee questioned whether Vikings quarterback J.J. McCarthy would be able to adjust to pro-level pass rushes.
That's a good question, though.

I'm surprised more people haven't picked up on this story. Dan, I hate to break this to you because we're having so much fun, but the onion is satirical.
Oh, come on. Oh, is it? Yeah.

Oh, I got all sack. Yeah, he's alive.
Oh, that's. Well, I'm not going to say that's too bad.

I almost trapped you.

Tony, I've got some problems here with your guys's adult friends. Your guys's adult friends seem to have some judgment issues.

I'm worried about Chris Cody, who's going away for the weekend on a buddy trip. I think he's a little old for that, and I think his friends are too immature for that.

And I'm worried about the judgment of Tony's friends as well, because one of your friends has done something bad this week. One of my friends, Dan, has done something unspeakable.

not even bad, unspeakable. Okay.
And he's a great kid. I love this kid.
Okay. Shout out to Steven.
Big fan of his, right? I like him.

Him and his wife had a daughter. Her daughter's birthday, September 28th, which just also happened to be Sunday.

So instead of, like any rational person would do, as the head of your household and being like, hey, we're setting the date on a Saturday. They're having the party on a Sunday.
On a Sunday, okay.

Hey, maybe a 10 o'clock birthday. She's a year old.
You got a 10 o'clock birthday, 11 o'clock birthday. You're there for a couple hours.
Love that when you're done by noon. exactly.
Bing, bang.

All right, we're done. We're going to go to the Carolina Ale House, watch the games.
They're like, no, no, no. What we're going to do is Sunday, 3 o'clock p.m.
What? Now that's a problem.

And I'm like, 3 o'clock?

My wife put it in the calendar. That's a witching hour.
Are they calling it the witching hour party? I was like, wait a second, babe, hold on. It should be called bullshit.

Well, my God. I'm looking at the thing and I'm like, well, wait, Sunday's

her first birthday party at 3.30. Three.
Why is that in my calendar? She's like, yeah, that's when they're having the party. It's at a park.
And I'm like, at a park? At a park? There's no TV.

It's at a park. TV's at a park.
And I'm like, so it's Sunday. It's three o'clock in the middle of all the great games that are happening.

And then on top of that, we got Ravens Chiefs starting at 4:25. And I'm going to be where? You can't go.
At a park in Westchester. Don't go.
Hot as balls. Why you got to go?

Because they're part of our friend group. Ball and chain.
Well, you said. Part of your friend group? Part of our friend group.
Not part of your friend. No, Jenny's friends with his wife.

That sounds like a Jenny friend show-up thing. Yeah.

Jenny's attendance more required than Tony's attendance. Tony's got a job.
Honey, I got a job. A green.

I mean, it's Ravens Chiefs. It's a Waterloo game.

And on top of that, in the 1 p.m. slot, Eagles Bucks.

A Waterloo game? You've got it as a Waterloo game.

That's right, Dan. Three consecutive weeks of saying Waterloo game.
What are you expecting from the Chiefs? Because you've been yelling at me for three weeks about the Chiefs.

I'm expecting the Chiefs to do what they usually do against Lamar Jackson, and that's win. Lamar Jackson is one in five in his career against the Kansas City Chiefs.
One in three Ravens? Yeah.

Well, you want to take that same tone and say one in three Chiefs?

There's one team of our generation, and it would be far more shocking for that team to be the one in three team, the one in three team Chiefs. That'd be absurd to me.
That'd be crazy.

You know what's crazy? Having a birthday party at 3 o'clock on a Sunday

when we have that massive game. On top of that, the other game in the four o'clock slate? Colts Rams.
Which, as you said,

big game.

I want to do spoilers, but I told you that already. I think I I can compete with Tony in terms of friends doing things that we don't like them to do.
Because I'm traveling.

Dan painted it as a boys' trip. This is a couple's trip going away from one of my oldest friends' 40th birthdays.
Like age-wise older.

He's turning 40. Yes.
So oldest friend, so. Well, no, like one of my longest friends.
Apologies. Why didn't you say longest? Anyways, so we're going on a cruise, okay?

And I have this thing when I go on cruises. I get the drink package.
Anytime I see a group with matching shirts, you do a shot. Oh.
And I love this game. I'm going to be that group this weekend.

They're doing matching shirts. We got sent to my house yesterday.
It says, Blame, happy 40th.

What happens on the cruise? Stays on the cruise. Like, we're going to be those people the first day of the cruise wearing the matching shirts.
And I've always loathed this. And it's this one friend.

It's, I'm going to call him by name. It's Matt and his wife.
They did this first bachelor party when we did Epcot Around the World. It's the only friends of mine that I've got.

Is it Matt or is it his wife?

If you really want to get to the weeds of it, I don't think Matt's doing this.

But it's matching shirts, and I don't want to be wearing them. I need to ask you something first about this drink package because this is always a debate for me when we go on cruises.

How much do you have to drink in a day to feel like, okay, this was worth it?

I think the general line is anywhere from

8 to 11.

And

10 and a half drinks is the line. And the boy is starting.

We're starting at 10 a.m. by the pool.
So like, this is not an issue.

If you're a Cody, this is not a problem for you. Start earlier.
I'm robbing the place. Well, the cruise, are you coming to work on Monday? Are you going to be off next week?

Actually, it's a one-day cruise? This is a cruise out of Port Canaveral, so I'm traveling up to Orlando. I will not be in Monday because of that.
So how many days are you on this cruise?

We leave Friday, afternoon, ports Monday morning, and then I drive back. So for the weekend, you're going to have at least 30 drinks is what you're saying.
You want me to try to count?

Because I think I'll smash that open. Please try to count.
I would like to see. Well, I can see.
You ever do this move? I kind of feel pride and shame when you look at the dick.

Because because it the way it works on your drink you get a bill and it's all zero dollars but it's like every it tells you every bar you got a drink at analytically 17 like i'm telling you like yeah like on a good day like on saturday when we hit coco k like you're talking i'm talking 20.

i'm thinking 20. what number would it have to be for you to be a little bit like

that was a lot over 25 and i'm like that's crazy 25 drinks in a day apple martini doesn't fall far from the tree on this one like these guys uh they're the only thing that the codys like more than a drink is a bargain.

So they're going to make sure to get their money. And both of them together? Man, don't sell yourself short there, pal.
I'm telling you, I know it sounds crazy, Twin Drinks. You start at 10 a.m.

The way you're ordering these drinks, I'll take a shot here. Like you can get to 15 before like 4 p.m.
Fellas can drink on this show.

Fellas can drink. No, but we like drinks.
I mean, 15 drinks. No, that's going to feel bad.
You're going to be useless to us next week. Just totally useless.

I want to give you guys some football stats, and I want you guys to tell me which one of these you find most interesting, okay? Derrick Henry has two fourth quarter fumbles this season.

Before that, he had two fourth quarter fumbles in 136 games. The Giants, while they're in the division of the Eagles, who have won 19 of 20,

the Giants are 3-17 since the start of last season. And since Dayball started 7-2, he's 11-33-1.

So he has done nothing since the initial start where he made us all think that Daniel Jones was good for a while and then we wandered away and are like, it's not good.

And then he's back to being good again. MVP.
And Ashton Genty,

68% of the time this season, he's being hit behind the line of scrimmage.

He's breaking tackles. He's got...
150 yards after contact, but it's always contact in the backfield.

Three out of four plays, Ashton Genty's getting the ball, and he's getting hit before he gets to the line of scrimmage. He definitely hates his life, right?

That offensive line,

Mina and others thought the Raiders were going to be good at offense. They got Pete Carroll, they got Geno Smith, they got Tom Brady,

and they can't do anything. Gino's up there in yards.
Yeah, because they're so far behind. He's constantly chucking it up.

I'm kind of shocked at how sideways this has gone for the Raiders in two weeks. What are your thoughts on which of those stats was the most interesting one? I think the Genti.

I mean, it seems like a miserable existence if you're Ashing Genti through three games. We were all so certain.

This guy, I know he doesn't have the pro-body type, but we were all certain watching college football. That guy's really, really good.

And if there's ever an argument to pick a running back high, it's Genti.

But then I do remember the photos of him at the Heisman ceremony, and he is so much smaller than all the other guys. I'm like, I'm curious to see how this is going to look in the NFL.

So far, it doesn't look great, but it doesn't look great because he's getting hit behind the line of scrimmage, because Dan mentioned, he is breaking tackles.

He's just not going to look the same kind of dynamic if he's getting hit that often in the backfield. The other thing in this sport that I think is either undercovered or covered poorly, okay?

Lane Johnson left the game the other day for the Eagles, and they had 10 yards on the next six drives because Lane Johnson is enormously important to that football team.

And I don't think we talk about offensive linemen enough. I don't think when I say Trent Williams, you know what I'm saying.
When I say Lane Johnson, you know what I'm saying.

But after that, you don't think of dominant offensive linemen.

And the idea that the Eagles would lose Lane Johnson and a team that has won 19 of 20 for the next six drives would get a total of 10 yards because they can't do very much if Lane Johnson's not out there mauling everybody.

We don't know what we're watching.

We don't know how to value a quarterback play. We don't know the routes.
So we don't know how good a receiver is.

We're doing our best with the information that we have, and we don't even have a live all-22 in most of the cases.

It is a little confusing confusing to me, though, how in a game of real estate acquisition, we choose to ignore general units because who cares?

Like, individual, like, it's hard to tell, like, what a guard does, I guess.

Center

pull. Yeah, they can pull, and some sometimes, sometimes they push, but individual units should absolutely be talked about way more.
Like, the Eagles' offensive line unit gets talked about a lot.

They don't have Jason Kelsey, so less so now,

but

it's the game. They literally put a ball where they think you move the line of scrimmage to, and a lot of teams base their identity on literally just doing that.

We are going to push our way down the field, and it opens everything up. It opens everything up for the quarterback.

It makes every other player on the field that much better, and we just choose to ignore it.

If you put importance on every single unit on a football team, are the Eagles' offensive line the best unit in football? I love that take. Yes, yes.

Like receiver, quarterback room, DBs, linebackers, across the board. The most important, the single most

unit in

the sport, probably. So you're asking, is the Eagles' offensive line better at what they do than the best quarterback in NFL every season?

Better than Patrick Mahomes or Josh Allen?

I think the Eagles' offensive line over the last few years has been better at its job than even Josh Allen or Lamar Jackson or Patrick Mahomes have been at their individual job.

I raise you the Bengals wide receivers. It's a good room.
Yeah, but Burroughs out and all of a sudden Jamarch Hayes and T. Higgins had one catch us last week.
When you guys talk about guard play,

I was trying not to be a prisoner of the moment during that University of Miami, Florida game

when I said, Brockameyer, that's the worst game I've ever seen a center play because I just, I'm not watching the center. And so I'm not ever noticing what the hell the center's doing.

I'm like, why does he keep getting penalties? Why can't he snap the ball on time? Why is the center getting multiple false starts? Grades out really high for them. I don't know what I'm watching.

Now is a good time to remember where Tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented Tequila.
Cuervo. What are you doing here? Cuervo.
Anytime someone says Cuervo, I show up.

Well, I do know that to be true, but even during ad reads, like, Cuervo, I think he could lay out, especially for one of our great partners. Sweet, delicious Cuervo.

Since then, Cuervo has stayed true to its roots. The same family, the same land, the same passion.
Cuervo. So, enjoy the tequila that started it all.
Cuervo. Cuervo.
The tequila that invented tequila.

Proximo, Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly.
Cuervo.