The Big Suey: Keep Up, Dad (feat. Dianna Russini)

41m
"Lion in the wild, man. If it's chasing down an antelope and jumping on an antelope and bringing down an animal twice its size, and killing it with a bite to the neck in a matter of seconds: turn on."

After Dianna shares the details of the robbery she encountered, which led to her giving out Jaxson Dart information, Billy encourages crime. Dianna also shares the latest NFL news, why she prefers child drop-off to child pick-up, and praises how Gatorade tastes out of a can.
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Transcript

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Welcome to the Big Sue!

Presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebatard podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's prize that if they're just there.

That hasn't happened to you guys.

I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebatt Show is presented by DraftKings.

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It feels that America is a little unsafe in a number of different places, and Diana Rossini is joining us now.

And before

today, I believe that the most dangerous situation that Diana Rossini found herself in was being hit by a car while she was walking with Mina before a hit on our show.

But Diana Rossini is joining us now, and she is fresh from having witnessed a robbery.

She was in the

middle of chaos.

What happened, Diana?

And welcome to the show.

Hi, guys.

Yes, I'm in the middle of a danger zone in suburbia, New Jersey.

I was not expecting this.

So I had to run into Walgreens real quick to just go pick up some, whatever the heck I was some cleaning products.

Not important.

Not important.

And I'm just kind of, you know, I have my phone.

I'm about to walk in.

And this guy comes flying out.

And these.

two other men behind him are like, that's him.

That's him.

He's going.

He's going.

And the man that stole the items got into the Tesla

and sped off.

And they're like, he stole, you know, I don't know what he stole.

I found out later it was razors, but at the moment, I didn't know what he was.

I swear I was going to say razors.

Everyone's stealing razors.

Why?

Why?

I don't know.

Like, why are the razors held behind the lock and key?

I don't know.

Now, to be fair, I do use my husband's razor all the time because the men razor, the male razors are just better than the women ones, but that's a different story.

I guess I do steal it from him, but I don't steal it from Walgreens.

Um, so anyway, so this is all happening, and by the way, this is like three o'clock at school pickup, so there's just cars everywhere.

I'm like, oh my gosh, a robbery.

And the guy that ran after him is looking and he looks over at me.

He's like, hey,

are the giants gonna start Jackson Dart?

I go, what?

Because

you're Diane Orcini, right?

I was like,

yeah, but wait, are you all right?

Like, is everyone all right?

Like, they're they're gonna have a gun, you know?

Um, yeah, the guy did not care.

He did not want to talk about the robbery because he followed me back in and he wanted to talk Giants in aisle three, and we did.

Um, so are they?

So are they?

No, it's a great transition.

I actually, it's funny, I texted people from the Giants right after that happened.

Like, you're never going to guess what just happened to me.

Um, they, they were like, where do you live?

I'm like, I actually live in the same town as Brian Dable and Joe Shane.

So things are not good around here.

But that being said, yeah, I look, I think it's coming.

I don't know for a fact right now that they're making the switch.

Obviously, Brian Dable was pretty weird about it on Monday.

Just, that is the first time he just got bizarre in his press conference.

And usually that signals they're having conversations behind the scenes.

But the time is coming.

This offense isn't doing anything.

They can't win a game.

Brian Dable, Joe Shane are on the hot seat.

That's no secret.

So I wouldn't be surprised if they make that switch.

The only argument that's being made right now, Dan, which I'm sure you guys have talked about on the show already, is if you're the organization, do you want Jackson Dart's first game to be against a red-hot Chargers team that looks like one of the best right now in football?

Or do you want to wait one more week and allow him to start against a Saints team that is just okay, you know?

Dana, it just occurred to me, I think that you're wasting your fame because you would be an incredible accomplice to like crimes.

You just have to show up at the tail end of the crimes and everyone forgets that the crime happened and they start asking you questions about football.

They're like, I don't even, Razors, who cares?

I think you need to kind of start testing this and just do small-scale things like like pharmacies and stuff like that, maybe donut shops, whatever.

And then you make your way up to like a bank and you have like jewel heist and then you just show up at the end.

You're like, yeah, Diana Rossini is here.

Any questions about fantasy or NFL?

And then they'll just flock to you and ask you questions.

And then you just kind of split it with the person after.

Yeah, and just talk football, distract the police officer.

Yeah, of course.

You talk to the distract security that's at the Walgreens that was running around.

You're on the crime scene.

They lift the tape.

You just continue the conversation with the officers.

You kind of like kick things around there.

You get a, oh, what is this that's actually the way that you get away with the crimes is you go into and you're like oh what is this and you just start touching everything so then your dna and your fingerprints are on everything anyways and they're like oh diana was just touching things like i'm sorry i was just here exactly right i didn't know i was just an innocent bystander i mean look this was probably like the biggest thing that happened in my town anyways like just someone stealing razors from the local walgreens um but that concept of

i i call it getting stuck unfortunately sometimes answering football questions but it it happens at daycare pickup all the time.

Like, there's like these three dads, all three Giants fans, too.

And I think they wait for me.

Like, they know my car, and their kids are already buckled in.

Like, there's no reason for them to get out of the car.

And they'll see me pull up and then all of a sudden they like have to pick a flower or, you know, pick up a piece of chalk from the sidewalk.

You know, they're like, so die, you know, what do you think?

What are their names?

Let's call them out right now.

Jeff's dad, what are their names?

Hey, Jimmy,

Mr., I don't know, whatever.

Sanchez.

Stop hanging out.

Creep.

Yeah, the daycare pickup.

Even in the, so I, it's funny.

We're talking about this because I asked Kevin to switch with me.

I'm like, hey, couldn't, can you do the pickup and I'll do the drop-off?

Because usually people are rushing in the morning.

Then I don't get stuck.

helping people with their fantasy lineups.

You know, meanwhile, Kev's like, I'll help them.

I'll do it.

Like, I have great ideas.

I'm like, no one wants to hear from, you know, no one wants to hear your roster, which would be filled with Philadelphia anyways.

What's your move to avoid it?

Do you like act like you're on the phone?

No, I'm pretty good about it.

Cause, I mean, these are, these are the most important people in my life, right?

They're like the parents of Mikey and Joey's friends.

I'm going to probably have to be around them forever, right?

So I have to be kind of nice.

But I have to tell you something, they always, they don't care about what their kids are doing.

outside of school, like running in the parking lot, honking the horn.

Like when they want to talk about their fantasy team or when they want to talk about whatever's going on in football, like they are locked into what it

is I'm saying to them.

And you know that they're probably going off and you know, telling their buddies, like, oh, I found out that this guy's not playing.

I have to be careful, probably, right?

Like, I probably shouldn't be giving out too much info in the parking lot.

So, yeah, even for the crimes.

Yeah,

Diana, I have to ask: what do you estimate was the 40 time of the alleged robber who sped out of the Walgreens?

Good question.

I don't feel like you had to ask that.

Yeah.

So, it is a good question.

It is a good question because I was was thinking, I didn't think he was that fast.

Like I didn't even know what was happening because usually you would imagine if a guy was stealing something, he's darting out of there, you know?

Like he wasn't moving that quickly.

Now, he did beat everybody in the Giants fan that was chasing after him.

So he had to have a little bit of speed, but I thought maybe he got a head start.

But then, so I don't know what the speed was,

but I can tell you that I remember thinking, like, do I get involved here?

Right.

Because that's like another, another, like, going back to the Mina story from years ago, and I can't believe you recall that.

It's how involved you want to get when there's a crime happening in front of you.

I think it's like your natural instinct to help.

Well, at least it's mine.

Like, I want to get involved to help.

But I mean, what was I going to, like, should I have tackled him?

I felt like I probably could have chased a Tesla.

Could could

a human being tackle a Tesla?

I mean, the guy's like, beep, like, you know, when a Tesla goes in reverse and he gives you the warning, it's like, beep, beep, beep.

The guy, it did go off.

It was like beep, beep, beep.

And then he took off.

So it wasn't that scary of a heist.

Why was your Saturday morning column so popular?

This past weekend.

You know, I wasn't sure what I wanted to start with in my piece this week because there's so many great topics to get into.

But people have very strong opinions, Dan, about Tom Brady's conflict of interest as a minority owner of the Las Vegas Raiders, a broadcaster, a flag football player, a coach wearing a headset.

I did not realize that this was such a big topic in football, but it is.

And I think everyone just has a really strong opinion around football right now on how they see it.

So I asked a lot of people in the league what they felt about it.

And I had one coach say, good, I'm glad he's got so many jobs.

The less time Tom Brady has to run the Las Vegas Raiders, the better for the rest of us.

Because at some point here, the offense, Chip Kelly, someone someone there was going to be like, hey, Tom, I should probably use your knowledge here because this isn't going well.

This isn't that good.

We could be better.

And then, of course, you have the other idea of him sitting in production meetings, having, you know, he's a shrewd person to begin with, having a little bit of an edge over other people.

No one else in the league is doing that.

I mean, the only conflict of interest, and I don't even call it a conflict of interest that I can think of right now is maybe JJ Watt, right?

He calls his brothers games.

He's called three this year, I think.

That's probably the closest to having inside information, but that's different.

He's not sharing that with his team.

J.J.

Watt doesn't own a football team right now and helping them prepare for their next game after calling a game, you know, against the future opponent.

Diana, how many teams in the league do you know are good?

Eight.

Eight.

Right.

Look at the difference.

Yeah, we were doing between six and ten, and Chris Cody ventured out there with 11, but threw the Vikings and the Chiefs into the mix.

39ers.

Are the Chiefs one of them?

Yeah, I think the Chiefs are fine.

The Chiefs always look at September like such a joke.

Not a joke.

I don't want to disrespect the work that they're putting into it.

But it's like, it's just an extension of preseason for them.

Most of the...

Summertime, they're practicing with guys that wind up getting cut anyway.

It's not real there.

They don't panic.

Even when I have conversations with people there, like no one's ever like, God, like, how are we going to fix this?

When you talk to other teams right now, I mean, you would think the season was over with the way summer's so dramatic and so, you know, doom and gloom at this point.

But look,

the Chiefs have figured this out every single year.

They always come out of the gate a bit slow.

And then, you know,

they're going to get Rashi Rice back and Xavier Worthy here eventually.

And they're going to be back and we'll be talking about how they look great again.

I'm looking at the screen right now.

And Dan Graziano's pick for week three loser was the Chiefs.

Even though that's the one game the Chiefs have won, they looked so bad against the Giants that robbers are

creating

situations for Diana where she's asked questions about whether Jackson Dart is going to start this week.

Because Tony says that the red zone drive of Russell Wilson is the single worst red zone effort that he's ever seen.

It's the worst thing I've ever seen in my life, right?

You get a couple plays to score a touchdown, try to get yourself back in the game.

He airmails one into the tunnel that they call intentional grounding, and then on a fourth down, tries to hit the goalpost and throws it to nobody.

It's like, Russ, do you want to win this game or you just want to end the game because it's late?

Diane do it.

What is more likely to be eradicated next season in rule changes?

The tush push or guys running around just punching people to get the football out?

Yeah, I think the tush push.

Look, this thing came two votes away from getting banned to begin with.

And there's enough people in the league office that don't like the play.

And now the fact that it's being poorly officiated, I just think that the momentum is going to continue to build towards getting rid of it.

And look, Jason Kelsey had a killer of a speech at that league meeting where he saved it.

He literally saved the tush push.

I talked to enough people that were in it of like people that hate the tush push were like they had goosebumps based off Jason Kelsey's speech.

That's how good it was.

And I think it swung the vote.

I think he changed the entire direction of the tush push just by being so passionate and honest about what it felt like to win and be part of this Eagles, I guess, dynasty that's about to be built here if they continue to win like this.

But

I have a hard time believing that there aren't going to be organizations in this offseason who are going to submit and say, look, we got to get rid of this thing.

So

we'll be talking about this all offseason again.

Diana, before we move on from the good teams category, Colts,

good,

not buying it yet.

Where do you stand?

I'm buying it and I'm buying the Colts more than I'm buying Daniel Jones, right?

Because I do think it's kind of two separate conversations.

I think we're all waiting for Daniel to turn back into a pumpkin, but

you know, you look at the way the team is built right now and set up.

He's got protection.

He's got a good run game.

Jonathan Taylor is perhaps maybe one of the more underrated running backs right now because he's always injured.

So it's like we forgot about him.

And then he's out there and you're like, wow, this guy's Saquon Barkley.

And they have got a great defense.

And you got Lou Adarumo as a coordinator there.

So look, maybe Daniel Jones doesn't have to be perfect every game, and that may be okay.

That may be good enough for the Colts, which, guys, I did not see this coming at all.

At all.

I heard, look, I heard some good things in the summer, but you know how it is.

Like, everyone thinks everyone's good in August.

But, you know, people kept saying to me, like, Daniel can play.

Like, he's good.

Like, our defense.

I'm like, yeah, yeah, we'll see.

Well, we're seeing.

And so is that Punter who's not doing much.

Put it on the poll, please.

Are we all waiting around for Daniel to turn into a pumpkin at lebotard show

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Don Lebatard.

Daddy says you're doing a live show on the draft.

Rick, is it channel 7?

Stugats.

Those girls on eyewitness news, they look good.

They're mothers.

They look good though.

This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Diana, is CJ Stroud any good?

What is going on with Houston?

It's a good question.

I'm writing about it this week.

CJ Stroud is really good.

I think

They are still trying to figure themselves out on offense.

They have a new play caller.

They have a different looking offensive line.

I still think they're working some kinks out.

So he's still good.

I'm not in the camp of he's ruining his opportunity here to get some mega extension.

I still think C.J.

Stroud can play.

I just think there's still a lot of work to be done.

And there's some things going on behind the scenes that I think we're going to find out about soon.

I want to go back to the Giants for a moment here, Diana.

Obviously, they're talking about whether it should be Jackson Dart this week, but if they didn't start Jackson Dart at the beginning of the season, I would assume it's because they don't believe he's ready.

Should that mindset change just because Russell Wilson stinks?

No, because I don't believe the Giants didn't think he was ready.

I don't think it was about that.

In fact, anything, everything that we've been reporting has been, they think he's ready.

They like him.

He's been able to understand what he needs to do, and the moment's not too big for him.

He's comfortable in Brian Dables' offense.

Their personalities click really well.

Initially, I was told that Russell Wilson was just beating him out slightly in camp.

That's what it came down to, that Russell was just doing a better job with the offense.

And they did want to give Jackson a little bit of time here to adjust to the NFL, get them more reps.

Jackson and Jameis Winston, too, just themselves outside of just taking those second and third team reps,

they stay after practice.

They run through the scripts.

They're doing a lot outside of just the regular practice to get Jackson Dart ready.

And I know the Giants have felt really good about him.

It's just been about the right moment and the right time.

And we'll see if they think it's against the Chargers.

I mean, I don't know.

Zaz, do you think that they should?

Don't do it.

Don't do it against the Chargers.

That's ridiculous.

Why would you do that?

That's silly.

Don't do that.

I would wait a week.

Diana, Dad says Shador Sanders is ready to start.

What are you hearing about the Cleveland situation?

Wait, Dan's?

You think Shador Sanders?

No, no, Dad.

Dad, for some reason, he called Deion Dad.

Well, Dad Sanders.

It's his dad.

Oh, Daddy.

His father's Deion Sanders.

Chris called Dan Dad in the break.

That's right.

Yeah, he did.

I thought everybody knew that.

He did it.

I asked who was on the show.

He said, Greg, Cody, Dad, and I was like.

I meant Dan.

I thought I said dad.

You did, dig.

Now you're confused.

Is Shador Sanders?

Stop confusing the old man, guys.

Mom, can you answer questions like Dad's dad?

I'm always so confused that there was a second there where I was like, wait, you're telling me this entire time I thought Greg Cody was Chris Cody's dad and Dan Lebatard was the dad?

I'm Chris Lebatard.

I did not get the show at all.

Dan would look very good for his age if

he was my dad.

Oh my God, Dad, keep up, dude.

What?

Is that for Dan or Greg?

He's really lost right now.

Would you like to answer the question, Diana?

I'm not going to answer.

Greg,

Dad, I don't think, I know Dad thinks that his son is ready,

but I don't think Cody is ready to host a show.

Chris is just not prepared and,

you know, ready to do all this.

You did this, Greg.

But so.

She's avoiding the question.

Shador Sanders, the quarterback situation in Cleveland.

It's not happened.

It's not.

It's not happened.

He is not ready.

This has been like the most consistent

information shared for a while that he's just continuing to

learn how to be an NFL quarterback.

This is not a player who stepped into the league with all this experience playing at a high level, who's coming out like a, we just talked about Jackson Dart.

There's a significant difference between Jackson Dart and Shador Sanders for right now.

It doesn't, Shador Sanders is very talented.

We've seen it.

He's just not ready.

And he's not going to be ready against some of the defenses that they've got coming up here on the schedule.

So no, I love Deion's belief in his son, and he probably should continue to stand by him and say those things, but that's just not the truth.

Chris Cody, I think we can catch Diana Russini in some bad math because I believe she'd be willing to give us more than eight good teams if you start quizzing her with your list of good teams if she's throwing the Colts and the Chiefs into the good teams, because she's gonna have more than six.

I didn't say that.

I didn't say that I thought the Chiefs were good.

You asked me if I was

talking about that.

I'm pretty sure you did say the Chiefs were one of the good teams.

But regardless, let's go ahead and do this.

Well, if she added the Colts, so I put the Colts on here.

So now I have a list of 13 teams here, and you tell me who's not good here.

Almost half the league.

All right, let's play the game.

Tell me, I'm going to read all the, I'm going to rattle through them.

And you tell me who's not good from this list.

Ready?

Rams, 49ers, Bucs, Packers, Vikings, Lions, Eagles, Commanders, Chargers, Chiefs, Ravens, Bills, Colts.

They're all very good.

Okay.

Very good.

Whoa, what's happening there now?

Okay, Diana, I'm going to need you to do better math or choose your words better.

I'm going to write down the teams that I think are the best in football right now.

I don't think the Commanders are the best in football right now.

I don't think the Bucs are the best in football right now.

Whoa.

You need to be careful.

No, she doesn't.

The Bucs defense

against the Jets, they were not very good, considering.

They're also dealing with injuries.

We have to see out of that situation.

I'm trying to compute everything here.

For right now, I've got the Eagles, the Bills, the Chargers, the Ravens, the Packers,

the Lions, and the Rams.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Now the Colts aren't good unless you want to make them your eighth.

I'll make them my eighth just because you're driving me nuts.

Okay, are those teams capable of winning the Super Bowl?

Is that your list?

Well, you guys keep changing how we're.

What is the game?

The game is who's capable of winning the Super Bowl?

The game is who's good.

No, it's not.

That's not the game.

Until you answer the question, then we'll change the question.

Like, is the game, is it who's good on September 23rd or is it who's going to win the Super Bowl?

Who's capable of winning the Super Bowl?

On September 23rd or the end of the year.

Just right now, who would win?

If the Super Bowl was today, Diana, if the Super Bowl was September 24th, who would win?

Thank you, Dad.

I'm going to stick with those eight.

Speed up the Chargers, Ravens, Packers, Bills, Eagles, Rams, Lions, Colts.

Who's she missing?

Who's she missing there?

I took out the Bucs.

I took out the Commanders.

And...

Packers, Rams?

i have them in there all right my bad she took out vikings 49ers i took out the vikings she took out the 49ers too i think i took out the 49ers

keeping them float took out the dogs bosses out for the year that everyone's hurt everyone's always hurt what are they doing out there they're doing a violent thing that injures people mac jones's jersey was ripped from like one side of his sleeve all the way to the other just

and then that happened to hopkins like don't you just i just feel like every monday i'm i'm tweeting about the 49ers i don't know i just they are the most injured team right now and i feel bad because they could be really good.

They've got superstars on that team, but they're not out there.

We're going to speed her up now and get as much football information as we possibly can.

So let's begin the Vikings quarterback situation.

What do you have there?

Well, it continues to be Carson Wentz.

They love the guy.

He had a week of practice that blew them away.

They were energized by him.

I don't think they need him to be the savior.

If he just listens to Kevin O'Connell and that defense plays the way they do, they're going to be just fine.

Tony, what are you making faces?

Blew them away on one week.

It's Carson Wentz.

I mean, I get he probably had a good week of practice.

Blowing away is strong.

No,

I felt the same way when I was talking to people there.

I'm like, what?

What are we talking about here?

This is Carson Wentz.

But look, you're not really being asked to do too much when you're in Minnesota based on that roster and what they bring and the way they can coach their quarterbacks.

I think Kevin O'Connell has proven that.

I do think the question that remains, and they're going to tell you no, no, no, and we'll take their word for it.

But it it will be interesting to see what if they go over to Europe and Carson Wentz is really good and JJ McCarthy's coming back and now he's got this high ankle sprain.

Like, what do you immediately go back to JJ or do you let Carson run, you know, ride it out if it's working?

I think that's going to be an interesting topic when they get back, if they're winning.

Three weeks, not much from Travis Hunter yet.

What say you?

I just don't know if they know how to use him, right?

Like, think back to when he was in college.

He popped the second he was on the scene.

He's not popping at all.

I actually wrote about it this past weekend.

And it just,

I think they need to either, instead of worrying so much about playing on both sides of the ball, they need to just put him in the best position where he can be his best.

And based on what I'm seeing, put him on offense.

Just let him be a receiver and make some things happen.

Because when him and Trevor Lawrence are making it work, he can be dynamic.

He can't drop the ball as much as their other receivers do.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on there with that.

Look,

maybe they just have the yips.

I'm not sure how that works, but

that's not good.

There's been a lot of drops, though.

That's September.

Like, everyone's dropping.

How many fumbles do the Patriots have?

I mean, inside the five-yard line later.

That was wild.

That was five turnovers.

That was horrendous.

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Don Lebatard.

Are you on the fan right now?

Did Mike Greenberg call you yet?

Are you ever gonna go back to ESPN?

People think it's so weird you're a writer now.

All those years on TV?

All those years?

And now you write?

Who reads that?

Stugats.

Why did he take a job at the Atlantic?

Mom, I work at the Athletic.

What?

You on YouTube?

This is the Don Lebatar show with these two guys.

Diana, to stick on the jags really quick.

I know this might be a little bit inside baseball and I know you probably have some good relationships with people inside the Jacksonville organization, but I want to say something that is on me, not on you, just so it gets out there, just in case you can have your stuff covered.

Shane Waldron sucks.

He's been terrible everywhere he's gone, yet continues to get jobs.

In Seattle, sucked.

Is that the OC?

For people?

He's a passing in coordinator now.

Seattle, sucked.

Chicago, sucked.

Now all of a sudden he comes to Jacksonville.

They suck.

What's the issue?

I don't know what his issue is, Tony, but Liam Cohn runs the offense.

So you can say what you want.

Liam's not letting anything happen without his sign-off.

So yeah, maybe Shane Waldron hasn't proven to us that he's elite, but he must be doing something to make Liam feel good.

A, he's keeping him on the staff, but just remember who's running the show there.

So any any issue that you have with the passing game, you got to put that on the head coach.

It's a curse.

Is Caleb Williams turning the corner?

Yes, yes.

Look, I don't think people want to be patient with him, but you can see a difference every single week.

We just saw it.

I just think his own patience in the pocket, this offensive line where they can protect him and give him a few extra seconds.

I think this is where we can see him be really good.

He's another quarterback who's growing from being a college-type quarterback to being a professional.

And we're seeing the improvements every single week.

Yeah, I think that everyone in Chicago should be psyched for what they're seeing from Ben Johnson and Cable's.

And it's only September.

How bad are the Dolphins?

And can they recover to be 500?

They're bad.

No?

That's the way you do it.

Isaiah Rogers, when's the last time you saw a defensive game like that?

Great.

I had a conversation with a head coach this morning about that.

He literally said, that may be the best defensive performance I've ever seen in my life.

And this person's in his 40s.

So

yeah, I'd agree with that sentiment, too.

That was tremendous, which is going back to the Vikings.

That's all they need.

If the Dolphins lose at home on Monday night football to the winless Jets, is Mike McDaniel the coach of the next week?

I don't know.

I don't know.

They know they've got a problem there.

I just don't think they're being very quick to pull the trigger here.

They may be willing to stick with him through the season, depending on how this goes.

Who's a team that's not on your list?

That's a sneaky team that in a couple weeks, people are going to be like, oh, wait a second, this team is looking really good.

The Commanders.

Oh, that's cheating.

They were on your list already.

No, but that's

on the very good list.

She had two lists.

She had a 13-team list that was very good.

I have a September 23rd good list.

I have a Super Bowl list.

And I have a, if you had to rob a store with a team list, which team would you want to rob a store with?

with oh let's uh the lions i think i'd go in with their

liars their offensive and defensive the lions no he's saying we'd go in with the lions which if you had a

steelers with the roster who would it be the steel oh yeah question for dan

how do you feel about baker mayfield's uh nickname two minute mayfield

i love it uh someone there was like isn't he like clint eastwood i'm like are you 90 like i don't you you think we can have a better comp to Baker Mayfield than Clint Eastwood?

Two-minute Mayfield.

I don't love that.

Just going to go on the record.

I wouldn't love two-minute Tashay as a

good one.

I like that one.

Two-minute anything.

Not my favorite Nick's name is that.

Two-minute Mayfield.

Two minutes.

Two minutes, fine.

Long two minutes.

True.

I don't mind it.

Don't mind it.

I'm busy.

Got things to do.

Zigak.

The Tampa Bay Bucks are also very injured.

What do you do with the Tampa Bay Bucks?

Steelers would have been the way to go.

No, but Dan, did you hear what Chris said?

The Lions, because they're liars.

Steelers, people that steal are lying.

I hope you guys know that.

But what does that have to do with

Dan said lions?

Who said Steelers, though?

Who was it?

That was Billy.

That was Billy.

Steelers are good.

Yeah, Steelers.

I mean, what a bunch of dummies we are all.

Like, me and Dan are like, yeah, we'll take the Lions.

They're jump up front.

They'll get those those racers.

Idiots.

They're friggin dummies.

Yep, that Steelers is better than that.

The stretch of Eagles football that we've gotten winning 19 of 20 games, no matter how fluky this last one was, I think of them as frontrunners.

I don't think of them as the team that can come from behind, but obviously they did against a very good team.

Yeah, they still haven't played their best football yet.

And look, they're still working out those kinks a little bit.

They got a new OC.

What I'm observing, though, is they haven't played their best.

And it's so obvious when they give the ball to the superstars, especially when the run game's getting shut down, right?

Because every team is throwing eight in the box to stop Saquon.

Just throw the ball to AJ.

Throw it to Devonta.

Like every time,

and it will work.

So I think their game plan is probably going to get tweaked over the next few weeks because it's pretty evident that they will win games if they just use their receiver.

So

I just like the fact that they never panic.

That's my favorite part about this Philadelphia Eagles team.

They don't ever, I mean, the person sitting next to me watching the game is losing his mind, but that team doesn't.

Like, they're just hanging out.

They know they'll figure it out.

Tony, why are you laughing at the back of Chris Cody's head while hiding behind your microphone?

It seems like you feel bad for Chris Cody.

It was a good joke by me, actually.

It was a good joke.

There was just a better one out there.

I understand what the math he was doing, right?

The mental math is you ain't lying.

Because his dad always says that joke about liars.

He heard lying, and then all of a sudden he's like, because they're liars.

And it's like, uh-huh.

Greg Cody's algorithm, I don't know what Diana's algorithm is, but Greg Cody's algorithm is filled with lions.

He loves watching lions

win a fight.

He doesn't like lions losing a fight, but he has an algorithm that's filled with lions winning fights.

Oh, yeah, lion in the wild, man.

If it's chasing down an antelope

and jumping on an antelope and bringing down an animal twice its size and killing it with a bite to the neck in a matter of seconds.

Turn on.

Woo!

Everyone knows my

turn on?

Turn on?

Turn on?

Those make me sad.

It's the wild.

Things happen in the wild.

I don't admit that.

Turn on?

Things happen in the wild, man.

I admitted something weird.

You said it's a turn on?

So your algorithm is sexually.

I mean, where are you?

What are you doing?

What are the money?

Go ahead.

Define turn-on.

Turn on?

Go ahead.

It excites me, but not sexually.

It's ridiculous.

Dana, have you ever wanted news to break at a different time more than you do right now?

Two-minute Cody.

Yeah, which one?

Which I think would be good for him.

I mean, people, animals in the wild kill each other.

I mean, I hate to like.

And it turns you on.

It excites me.

When I see a lion, I wrote a book about a lion.

Revelation.

What do you feel?

Like, does blood pump through your body?

Yeah.

It's exciting to see.

It fires you up, Greg.

That's what you should have said.

It fires me up.

It's exciting to see the power and majesty of the king of the jungle in action.

And

it's good.

Isn't it usually lionesses?

But you don't want to watch, for example, a lion can rarely bring down a giraffe.

Lions, there are a lot of videos out there of lions trying to bring down a giraffe.

Giraffe's like whips and failing.

Giraffes can kick you and kill you.

No, it's the whip with the neck they do.

It's the whole thing.

That too.

That too.

Why are their tongues purple?

Good question.

That's a very good question.

Where's McGill when you need him?

I don't know.

What is your algorithm, Diana?

What would we find if we were snooping around in your algorithm and it was producing, it'd be a lot of football, wouldn't it?

No, turf toe surgeries.

I fell down a wormhole.

That's the worst, right?

Like one thing makes you curious and then you're stuck looking at it.

And I'm like, I'm past it.

We moved past the turf toe surgery, but it's still on my thing.

I don't know.

I do like a lot of fitness things, hot chicks, like just random things that I just find entertaining and boring.

I got that good.

Not bad animals, though.

I got that good algorithm.

Giraffe tongues are purple because they are rich in melanin, a pigment that provides protection from sunburn while they feed on high tree branches exposed to the harsh sun.

Amazing that you know that off the top of your head.

You're a real expert.

Incredible.

Diana.

Why are flamingos pink?

Oh, it's because of what they eat.

Shrimp is the shrimp.

Shrimp.

Shrimp.

Yeah.

Diana, has Joey been behaving?

No.

No.

Joey's had a rough, rough rough couple days.

So I was stuck with him the other day and

stuck with him.

Whoa.

Just

basically what happens sometimes is in between,

there's like a good hour where before my help comes here, I have an hour with Joey and I just need him to hang out and play trains, but or with his eggs.

But he was not in the mood.

So I just gave him Gatorade, which you shouldn't give kids Gatorade.

They're babies.

Matt's mine.

Little for it.

But I was like, here, Gatorade, take it.

And he's like, ooh.

I did not know that fruit punch red Gatorade will stain your couches and carpet.

Everything.

Everything.

Is there anything worse than that?

I can't get it out now.

So Joey just dumped it.

So now our living room is destroyed.

I tried all of it.

Like, what is the secret to getting a stain out?

I don't know.

Put it on the poll, please, at Lebetard.

Show worst stain, red wine or fruit punch Gatorade.

I was not aware that fruit punch Gatorade would be dangerous, but it makes sense that it would be dangerous.

It's not good.

I tried the club soda.

I tried all the carpet remover.

Did you blot?

I

blotted.

Did Joey show any remorse?

Oh, no.

No, not at all.

He doesn't have a lot of empathy.

I've noticed this, actually.

It's a problem.

Like, he doesn't feel bad if I'm like, Joey, not a bad boy, or you're being a bad boy.

And he just smiles like, yeah, I know.

How old is he now?

Maybe.

He's two.

There are no bad boys.

There's just bad choices diana put it on the poll at lebotard

uh uh is uh

is a two-year-old capable of empathy because i believe you're asking too much of joey there yeah terrible twos so tell me about um have you guys tried the gator aids in in the can yeah they're great back in the day i haven't recently but i used to love them chris they're back So I just ordered a case of them.

Why is Gatorade better in a can than in a bottle?

Put it on the poll at Lemotard Show.

Is Gatorade better in a can than a bottle?

To me, it feels like sacrilege to have it out of a can.

It feels wrong.

I'm not saying it tastes wrong, but it feels wrong.

It tastes good.

I'm just, I felt unfulfilled when I had it because it was only 12 ounces.

So like I was at the zoo and that's how they had it.

So I bought a Gator in a can.

I chugged it and it was gone way too quick.

Like Spunkhold Steve Austin?

Literally, that is how I knew the cans were back.

I was at the zoo with the boys and it must be a zoo thing.

And I bought a can of the green lime or the the lemon lime and i was like this is the most delicious thing but i was just thinking in my mind while i was drinking it is it because of the nostalgia that we grew up with canned gator aid or is it just actually better and i've had a bottled gatorade since not as good i think it just feels colder too like it tastes colder if that makes sense yes the best was when the gatorade was in like the big glass that's the best way to drink it that's the best it was in like that we're too young for that we don't know what you're talking about at lebotard show does it feel wrong to drink Gatorade out of a can, yes or no?

Because I believe that's going to come back with a lot of yes on it, even though you guys are saying that it tastes better that way.

Diana, good talking to you.

Thank you for being on the show.

Good seeing you again.

Check out her work at The Athletic.

She also writes.

She's not out here just gas bagging.

She's writing things that a lot of people are reading.

It's nice to see you, young lady.

Yes, writing this list of good teams today.

There it is.

Good teams today.

That's good use of your time right there.

Buccaneers would have been better than Lions too.

You ain't lying.

I mean, also Titans would have been better.

Oh, Pirates.

Pirates, Buccaneers.

Pirates.

And they steal treasure.

Yeah.

You guys are good at these.

Well, I just went with a bunch of offensive linemen that are really physical.

We missed the whole thing.

You and I are the morons.

I stink.

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