Hour 2: The Trubituary (feat. Amin Elhassan)

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Dolphins haven't converted their last five third downs.

13!

Down goes Tonga off!

Patrick Jones got him!

The Dolphins lose.

We're on the road after a Monday night.

It started out, everything going right.

Went down and scored three times They turned it over twice And we were up by 17

And that's about the time we did some dolphin things

Nobody here knows how to hold the lead Some guy named David will ran for 200 Where the hell is Rush D?

I can't take more embarrassment Make this season in, make this season in That is not

good enough

As our last drive stall There center some how tackled to uh this whole thing is a joke.

Somebody really needs to punt Chris Greer into the sea.

And Mike and McDaniel too were so embarrassing.

Tell Stephen Ross to just bring down this thing.

How can I possibly watch 12 more games?

At least I still have fantasy.

I can't take this embarrassment.

Make the season end.

God make the season end.

It's not just the season, it's the whole thing, right?

Because Waddle gets behind the secondary, balls underthrown, you're going to save your season.

Oh, look, Carolina doesn't fear you at all.

They're going to score too fast.

They're going to leave you two minutes on the clock.

They're not even going to just hold the ball and play, dunno, let's finish them.

They won't drive down the field.

Let's just finish their whole season, their whole architecture, the whole thing.

Even Greg Cody has abandoned them.

And the Dolphins lost late to, oh, Bryce Young calls timeouts.

He doesn't have.

That's the late game awareness that you want from your conquering quarterback.

Two nowhere teams

doomed.

both of them

doomed no no i'm not i'm not choking on the peanuts that i can't stop eating peanuts

i'm not those hampton farms the the dolphin season ended yesterday and so too did carolinas because i saw

what tampa did i saw i saw what tampa did in in seattle and no one's gonna win that division other than tampa get out of here like obviously they've won it the last four years.

Carolina's not going to win it this year.

Carolina, you can hit us every once in a while with your beat Atlanta 30-0 at home, whatever.

The Dolphins led 17-0.

The Panthers are down two offensive linemen, and they don't have their running back.

And the Dolphins season and the architecture ends there.

Like, it's all over.

When Greg Cody's abandoned ship, and we were all shouting at him, you're a month late, Greg.

The whole experiment ends.

It's not just this season ends.

It's, oh, no, you went all in on on McDaniel and Tyreek Hill and 2-NOO fart noise.

It's all over.

No, it's Dan, Dan Campbell, you had him.

He's running the sport now, and he's daring you to eat his kneecaps.

Like he's just, he's, he's churning his farm machines into the great beyond.

We're all sad and done.

Can we bury it?

Or is Billy going to do schedule talk when they beat Cleveland?

Because Miles Garrett is tired.

Usually you could maybe allege that that's bit by Billy, but but there is a path here.

Yeah,

it could be 4-4, 5-4 head into that Bills game.

And that Bills team, it looks susceptible yesterday.

Yeah.

They haven't beaten anybody.

Who?

The Bills have been.

I thought you were talking about the Dolphins also.

We thought they did week one.

Boy, we really thought they did.

What a win that was over Baltimore.

And Baltimore, are they done?

Is that the window?

No.

You don't think they're done?

I don't think they're done.

One and four?

I don't think they're done.

One and four.

I said it last week.

I think they're still going to win the division.

That is a weak division.

They got those games in hand, but their only game is against Cleveland.

And if you look back on it, that's it.

What do you guys do, though, with the salary cap ridiculousness of

the salary cap is $280 million.

The Ravens have $160 million of it that can't play at the moment.

So their defense isn't actually their defense.

If I take seven guys off of their defenses, it ceases to be their defense.

I watch Tampa week in and week out with big-time names out, and they find a way.

Yes, I hear you.

That is a damning stat.

They are no doubt hurt, especially when their multiple-time MVP is out.

Cooper Rush is, I've seen with my own eyes, Cooper Rush beat Joe Burrows-Bengals.

They should not be...

I mean, the Houston Texans are a blight on the NFL season.

They are so hard to watch.

And did you see the point total they put up?

I understand the injuries.

That is more than just injuries.

I would say now you feel how the San Francisco 49ers feel every single single season, right?

They have 19 guys out every single year.

Gak.

And what's the record of the 49ers, by the way?

Gak.

What are they?

They were like a nine and a half point dog at So Faisating with a backup quarterback.

No George Kittle, with no Pearsall, with no Jennings.

They are Brock Purdy.

No Brock.

What more do you want?

Good teams find a way.

Ravens, not a good team.

Really?

So the organization that for 25 years has been one of the standards in the sport, so stunning that a month ago we were talking about as they led in the fourth quarter at Buffalo.

Oh, the Ravens are going to be the same thing they've always been.

Five games later, John Harbaugh doesn't know what he's doing.

The Ravens have a historically bad defense worse than the Dolphins' historically bad defense.

And it's because all their players are out and at least in part because, and this part, like, I don't even know why this part gets skated over as much as we obsess over the money.

The Ravens only get to be that when they have huge value at quarterback because the quarterback is playing both quarterback and running back, making your running back better.

The running back's disposable.

When you have huge value, then Lamar Jackson as your MVP, you can win 12 games every year.

But they've been paying Lamar for a while.

No, but no, he just signed the extension, and now some of the players that they could fill around in the roster are not available to them once you get past the first layer of depth.

They don't have any money to spend.

Like, that is part of it.

They're paying their quarterback better than they ever have because they have to.

San Francisco point again.

They're paying Brock right now.

Yeah, but no, San Francisco point again when they can do it with any quarterback.

Baltimore can only do it with one.

I don't, if right now, if I told our audience, hey, what do you think Cooper Rush would look like in San Francisco?

You'd be like, he'd be four and one.

He'd be four and one because Brock Purdy's Mr.

Irrelevant and Mac Jones is four and one.

He'd be four and one.

There are plenty of franchises that are plenty hurt and the Ravens aren't figuring it out.

And they're losing to bad teams like 44 to 10 to the Houston Techs.

The Ravens.

That is not injury.

That's not just injury.

It's not.

I just saw Kosh Hanahan roll into the L.A.

Rams' barn.

That's the one example of the guy that can do it with any quarterback.

There's not a lot of examples outside of Kyle Shanahan of guys doing it that McGee got injured.

You guys just did this with Minnesota.

Carson Wentz just went right down the field on the best defense in the league and Miles Garrett was the one who was gutted.

Thank you.

That's an excellent point.

Yeah, Carson Wentz is an excellent point.

They're out RB1 and QB1 over there in Minnesota.

They're finding ways to get results.

They're good.

My larger point as we discuss the team and the dynasty that stood in the way of the Ravens being something much more special than they were the last 25 years, because the Patriots were always in the way.

Their quarterback is the MVP of the league, and if he does not play, there's nothing else there.

Like,

they are, whenever Lamar Jackson plays outside for the last game when people thought he quit against Kansas City, a team that, when Lamar Jackson plays, is always competitive.

It's a one-score game.

It's never not a one-score game.

Lamar Jackson keeps you in everything.

Tyler Hunley made a Pro Bowl.

The Ravens are now dead.

The Bengals are now dead, Tony.

I don't think the Ravens are dead.

I don't think the Steelers are as good as they appear to be right now.

I think once Lamar gets back, he's going to write the ship.

They're going to win that division.

You can't score.

You can't allow 37 points a game.

The Ravens defense cannot stop anybody.

And to Mike's point, I said the Texans, I said the miracle of the season was without penalty, the Texans on a second and 33 converted a first down in one of these games because he just threw the ball to Nico Collin.

And CJ Stroud was great when he had healthy receivers, and then his pressure up the middle, and now they stink at offense.

They're truly terrible at offense.

And they just gutted the Ravens.

The Texans were scoring 10 points a game.

The Texans had the worst offense in the league.

The Ravens are not what you remember them as.

And

if they are not done, they can't allow, like, they've got to get their players back.

Are you guys checking the injury risks or the injury updates on whether the Ravens are going to have their defense back in two weeks?

You could play with 10 guys

and you give up 44 points to the Houston Texans?

That's inconceivable.

Can you guys tell me what is the proper amount of shame for Amari Demarcado?

Like, what is the proper amount of shame today?

Zero, it's a touchdown.

That was a touchdown.

I don't know how that was ruled not a touchdown.

He crossed the plane.

It's so unfair.

He got punched by Jonathan Gannon.

It's so unfair.

Look at it.

That's a touchdown.

I need a down-the-line pylon.

His foot is on the line, and the ball is ahead of his foot.

What are we doing?

That's true.

Mike's pork.

Yep.

You can see the foot on the line, the ball is ahead of the foot.

Zoom in on the hand, though.

Let me see where the hand is.

I think the ball's out of the hand.

I think the ball is slipping out.

I think that is proof of what they called when you.

You can't do this to this guy.

It's been done.

He's got to run through the back of the end zone.

I get you.

It's something every week.

Got to coach it that way.

It's ridiculous.

But I feel bad for the guy.

Do you guys realize that before yesterday, and I want to ask you what you're doing with this, is the Colts appear to be a good team?

The Broncos have not trailed in a fourth quarter this season.

Like, they just have lost two games

with the field goal at the end, but they...

They could be unbeaten, and they just went into Philadelphia, and they ended 20 out of 21, and they ended it with Peyton down 17-16 saying, no, me and my quarterback go for two.

We don't, no, not afraid.

We have the ball on offense, and that's the confidence we have in our offense.

That's pretty interesting, right?

I know a lot of people thought that Payton and the Broncos would be better this year, but they could be.

You tell me what to do with the following analysis.

The Broncos could be unbeaten and the Eagles could be winless.

I'd say that's football.

Football.

Because the Chiefs could have been 5-12 a couple years ago when they had 19 one-score games in one season.

Like, that's just the NFL.

Football.

And so if football is that, you guys are telling me DeMarcado needs to have a touchdown there.

But if we're going to protect the football in such a way that Jackson Dart giving it up five times is the reason Spencer Rattler wins for the first time.

I knew you were doing this.

You're not.

But he had some throws.

Are you going to go?

He didn't have any throws.

Yes, he had some.

Thank you.

That's all I'm saying.

He's a quarterback.

They're supposed to have throws.

It's the job description.

But you know what?

We don't give enough love to the quarterbacks in the bottom tier.

We don't.

We love to shit on them.

We love to say, oh, they're so bad.

You love all of them.

That's your gimmick.

I know.

That's what you do.

I know, but for you guys, you got to admit when Spencer Rattler had some throws?

He had some throws.

Browning has some throws, but you can't turn the ball over three times.

I agree.

Is there a bigger ratio for cool name not good at football than Spencer Rattler?

That's a great point.

Like, it's a good name.

Awesome.

It's a good name.

Like, top five.

Jackson Dart's a good name.

That's a good one.

That's strong.

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Don Lebatard.

All right, we got to go back out there.

That was big.

Wake him up.

Uh-oh.

He doesn't want to be bothered anymore.

Now it's getting tense because he didn't need that as a result.

He needs something that happens.

You can see it, motherfucking.

Are we bothering you right now?

Turn on your microphone, Greg.

My microphone's on.

Stugats.

Paint the scene.

Paint the scene is: I got to go to work.

Good night.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

That's what I'm used to a quarterback looking like on the road when he's not quite ready.

Oh, five possessions in a row?

Five turnovers?

Really?

Okay.

So we're going to be all militant about protect the football.

Walk around the facility with it.

Hold it.

Don't lose it.

That's the most valuable thing.

And five on five straight plays.

Oh, you lose to the Saints on the road.

We can be done with both those seasons, too.

Can we be done with both of those?

Yeah, Giants, yeah.

Calvin Kamara, 500 career receptions.

Guys, I feel like today could be an official day where we knock out like a third of the league and say we do not have to talk about that.

You had the take of the day.

You knocked out, you ended Carolina's season after a win.

Am I wrong?

No, I think you were on the money.

Their quarterback called timeout when he didn't have any timeouts.

There should be a penalty for that, given how disciplined they are about this time.

This is a historic first, though.

I've never, like, they're feeling pretty good about this.

Bryce Young gets to be the winning quarterback today.

Hooray, hooray.

You came back from 17.

None of them.

Fart noise.

You just ended the Dolphins.

It doesn't actually mean anything.

That is

an immoral victory.

Instead of a moral victory, it is an immoral

victory.

I'm just a little confused.

I'm a little confused as how we can end Carolina's season, but Baltimore season's alive after

44 to 10.

No, you understand.

Carolina won that game, but we don't have to pay attention to you anymore.

You're not serious people.

But Baltimore's alive.

Both of you teams here, you're not serious people.

You cannot be treated seriously about what we're doing.

What the Lions and the Eagles are doing over here.

I think we throw the Raiders in there, too.

The Raiders are done.

Gino wrote back.

How many of them?

Wait a minute.

That's right.

Amin.

Amin is here to bury with a trubituary

or a true trilogy.

Excuse me.

Trubisky, what?

No, Geno Smith is responsible for the single greatest thing that Amin has ever done on this show.

Long list of things, but to correctly predict before a season with great accuracy,

a season from Geno Smith that all of us laughed off, no one has been more right than Amin was about Geno Smith around here about anything.

Yeah, probably the the second most impressive thing that he's done outside of getting Adam Lichtenstein to believe that he was going to make a statue for Jimmy Butler and write an article about it.

What was the name of your sculptor character?

Not a character, it's a real person.

It's Akbar.

Not appreciated nearly enough.

That could have been...

That could have been something magical, and it just died because we never got the character off the ground.

One of our great failures around here.

He got off the ground.

He got an article.

Should have been a spin-off.

There should have been a whole like the Akbar show.

And all he does is just go from town to town, interviewing people and trying to make sculptures for one of the most maligned athlete icons of the decade.

That's what should have been the show, but, you know.

Dan, I've got a list here of the teams that we've kind of denounced here for the season.

Jets, Browns, Dolphins, Panthers, Saints, Giants, Titans.

Do we have anybody else?

That's a good list.

You can be done with all of the...

The Bengals 2.

We're done with the Bengals?

Bengals 2, yes.

Billy, do you have any other nominees here?

Because the Raiders aren't going to...

They're obviously not going to do anything.

Who Raiders are?

That's a long streak.

That is a long streak of the Raiders not mattering at football.

When's the last time they won a playoff?

When's the last time they played in a playoff game?

It was the game against Cincinnati where there was a Phantom Whistle that was allowed to stand on the road, Derek Carr, Joe Burrow.

That was the year that Burrow made it to the Super Bowl, I believe.

Wow.

The Raiders have gone 20 years without winning a playoff game, correct?

20 years since playing Tampa and John Gruden and the Rich Gannon teams.

Has it been 20 years since the Raiders won a playoff game?

But they won the game.

They won

the Super Bowl.

They made it.

John Gruden knew all their plays.

They had lost.

Yeah, no, they haven't lost.

I don't won that game.

They're both Raiders at the high seas.

I can understand the continuity.

You thought that because Gruden won, the Raiders won.

It's a reasonable reasonable mistake to make, honestly.

Dexter Jackson,

I think, right?

He knew all the plays.

That's correct.

You wanted to throw away the Vikings.

We're not throwing them away.

I think they're more than just this, though.

I think that if we...

Let me think for a second because I think we can get rid of a couple more teams that are at the bottom.

Like, the Bucks are going to win that division, and nothing else is going to come from that division, right?

Like, we can be done with that division.

We can send that division to the rest of the - like, we can just end it and get the...

The Falcons, too?

No?

Yeah.

No,

Falcons.

They lost to Carolina by 30.

These are not serious people.

Their offense kind of figured it out the next time.

You can't make the Falcons, the Saints, and Carolina serious people.

You can't do it.

Let's just wait a week before.

No, it's four straight years.

Baker's proved it already.

How much more would he like?

You don't have that.

Nobody in the division has that.

We park our cars in the same garage there, Dan.

He could throw four interceptions in a game, though.

He couldn't.

I keep waiting for that game.

At Carolina.

Can I come back to the word troubituary because i feel like that one has legs too we could it's it's not a trilogy it's something like trilogy is like it's the positive one right the troubituary is like

let's hear this again because this needs to be something me butchering this troubituary needs to be something with a troubituary uh the true trilogy excuse excuse me trubisc

Trubituary is an awesome word, dude.

We have to find a place for it.

It doesn't have to be in the same place as trilogy, but we can't just say, oh, that was Dan misspeaking.

Well, that's gone forever.

How many tributuaries can we write today?

How many of them?

On how many points?

How much time have you got?

Because we didn't even get to college football.

We really didn't.

We did some stuff on UN, but college football was great this weekend.

Like that Kansas State Baylor game,

that Washington, Maryland game.

Maryland's good.

They're up 20 to nothing.

Maryland's good.

Can I do that?

So Caroline and I write their tributary after win.

I'm here to tell you, Maryland, Maryland proved with that loss that they're good.

I believe they're good.

I love Malik Washington.

As long as he stays there, that will be relevant.

Let's do weekend ops and let's see if Lewis has to pay off this bet some point before the end of the show here because Tony and the MMA hangout, they had some consequences and some stakes that are going to make Lewis look like a fool because he agreed

to look like

one of these fighters that goes.

No mustache, all beard.

The Dagestani look.

Yeah.

um which is they love the beard they got great beards but they're like you know what no mustache we're gonna get

no mustache you know what we're gonna do we're gonna ruin everything in the sport by just no one can wrestle better than us because we've lived in all these correct except Pohaton Dano hands a stone everyone's got a plan until they get bunched in the mouth exactly right that's the only way that you can beat those wrestling

those wrestlers hit it with a cinder block over the head Dan that's exactly what I say it is hard to regain a championship in that sport it doesn't happen in that weight class I think John Bones Jones is the only other fighter to do what Bereira did.

He was incredible.

Some people were upset with the stoppage.

I don't think so.

Dude, he was hitting with 12-6 elbows to the back of the head.

It was a shocking.

His head was just bouncing off the canvas.

Funny enough, Bereira, if you watch him towards the end of the fight when he's starting to celebrate with Glover Desher before they put the belt on, he actually fixes his toe because his toe got broke

in the first kick of the match.

Those people are crazy.

But again, he landed a cinder block on the side of the head and then headed to the bottom.

That's the only way

the Russian wrestlers from the mountains is you must have cinder blocks in your fists and cave in their skull early so they can't get you the ground.

Exactly.

So Lewis is a big fan of Alex Pareda and we set up the bet where me and him because Enkalaev in the last fight that they had for the title, Enkolaev kind of beat Alex soundly, right?

He mixed up a lot of things with on the ground, with standing up.

It was like a really weird fight for Alex.

He said he went in at 40% of his health.

He had some injuries during camp.

So he came in not ready.

Enkalae beats him for the title.

So now the rematch,

Alex is a guy who's a fan favorite across the sport.

Lewis really likes him.

So I made a bet.

If Peda knocks out Ankalaev, will you do the Ankalaev look?

And this is how it went.

If Poloton knocks him out, you got to do the full beard with no mustache.

Bring it up on Shodo.

So

I'll do a deal.

I'll do a deal.

It's over.

I have to do the Ekalaev on Monday.

What the balls, man.

That's going to suck.

I'm gonna do it.

How long does he have to look like that?

He's gotta look like that for at least the next week, at least.

Maybe more.

So let's go ahead and get that set up and do Amin's weekend observations here and see if we can get the payoff of Lewis looking ridiculous in the other room.

Who's doing that?

You're gonna shave it?

You're gonna do it?

Lewis is gonna get shaved by Tony.

All right.

Aggressive.

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Hey, Mike.

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Don Lebatard.

In terms of heat fans, you're the most irrational of us right now.

What's the pivot?

Oh, irrational.

Stugats.

I don't hear your voice.

If I were making a cartoon thing that was meant to symbolize irrational, that's the voice I would give.

Premise.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

So let's go ahead and do the

observations, please.

It is time for

to share his game notes.

No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy.

Weekend observations is presented by Miller Light.

By the way, Lewis has to grow that beard out.

Like, you can't just be a weaker two.

The beard has to start growing out of his face while the mustache is shaved.

That's the look.

Dan,

we all thought it was a cautionary tale.

We all thought everyone would take heed.

But just like that, make no mistake, premature celebrations are back.

They disagree.

Billy and Chris Cody disagree with you.

They're saying that should be a touchdown.

There's a still shot.

The ball is still in his hand and he's past the goal line.

Who was it that said you got to run through the other end of the end?

That was me.

All right, there you go.

Stick to your guns, man.

Don't be wishy-washy.

Amari Mercado prematurely celebrating the touchdown by letting go of the ball.

Would be the main headline from Cards Titans if it weren't for the INT fumble touchdown that ended the game.

Had that ever happened before?

I'm telling you, they cannot talk about the way that the Arizona Cardinals lost that game yesterday enough.

It is an epic collapse from the history books.

Dan, you might want to put them in the troubituary column.

That's not an overreaction to say any of that.

You will never see a game lost that way the rest of your life.

You will play and watch football the rest of your life and never see a game lost that way again.

Does Cam Ward get credit for the touchdown and the interception?

Yes.

Some might say...

No, that's not a touchdown, actually, for Cam Ward.

It's just a fumble recovery.

Only Tyler Lockett gets the credit for it.

Escapability, though, Dan.

Oh, he made things happen.

He did make things happen.

Some might say,

Baker Mayfield has got the goods, dude.

Those goods have a name.

Emeka Abuka.

That guy's a baller.

Get the gronk.

Besides goods, you know what Baker has?

Anyone?

Mike?

Sorry, we're scrambling here trying to get a mecha abuka.

Okay.

He's got balls.

Doing that thing from last week.

Remember?

Yeah.

That's my bad.

That's my bad.

During the War of 1812,

the British sacked Washington, D.C.

Burning down the White House in the Capitol building after the Battle of Bladenberg.

113 years later, we got our revenge by sending them the Browns.

Jolly well in it, yeah.

Vijay Edgecombe of the Sixers.

That was brave of you.

That was brave of you to try that accent.

It was brave.

It's mocking.

I'm mocking them.

I think they sound stupid.

In it, yeah.

Everything's a question, yeah.

They always ask you, yeah.

Yes, yes, it is.

Stop asking me, yeah.

Vijay Edgecombe of the Sixers.

Top five athlete names that connote sexual tension.

OLI, really,

Michael Pennix.

OLI

Wang Zhiji.

OLI

Kofi Cockburn.

OLI

Howie Long.

You got to do that one like a question.

Like, Howie Long?

I don't know how.

He just is.

OLI

Dick Butkus.

There we go.

Number five

Johnny Dick Shot

My favorite thing about him his nickname is ugly

His nickname was ugly dick shot

number four

Vijay Edgecombe

Every part of his name is innuendo Vij

Edge come

number three

rusty

Koontz Koontz.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, fellas.

Easy.

Oh,

don't say it again.

I'm looking out for you here.

Don't say that word.

You can't say that on TV.

Number two, Chubby Cox.

And the number one name that connotes sexual innuendo.

Dick Harter.

Let's check in with Tony in the other room as he takes off.

Leave him with half the mustache for a while Don't take the whole mustache just like leave him looking ridiculous for a while there

Look at that love the sound of a cutter that was a that was a cheap list by you I mean

it was it was pretty cheap you're better than all of all of what you did there

That's in like Dick Carter howie long

Howie long that's a good one.

That was a good one.

I like that one actually.

Yeah, but

you had to say you have to ask his

question.

Yes

Because at first people don't get it.

And then you're like, oh, that's not good.

Johnny Dick shot's a good one, too.

I don't know how you guys act like, you guys kind of yawned at Johnny Dick Shot.

Ugly.

This is what his friends call him.

You mentioned that.

Devontae Adams, Taco Bell ads.

Enough.

Someone named Kool-Aid McKinstry

ruined by weekend.

What do you mean ruined your weekend?

He had two interceptions.

I know.

He ruined it, man.

You know, I wanted to do this whole thing.

Jackson Dart wins, and then you got a dart in your fucking neck.

I was going to say that every week, every time they win, and then he's throwing two eyes.

Oh, what out?

Kool-Aid.

Good job, Chris.

Thank you.

Michael Irvin.

Sideline antics at the Miami Games.

Annoying.

Oh.

Don't you hate when a famous alum just pops up out of nowhere and now all of a sudden he's become the school's biggest celebrity fan and he makes it all about himself?

It's a great media move.

It's the Dion.

I mean, did the guy even graduate?

Nafisa Collier, open letter to WNBA commissioner Kathy Engelberg,

won the internet.

But will it win in a collective bargaining session?

Wait to see.

Really?

So you're doing that.

So Nafisa Collier embarrassed her publicly.

Engelberg came out and just got right on one knee and none of it means anything because that's her job.

Get a better deal for us.

Yes.

the the wnba

fan base seems to not be able to

like uh figure out the difference between saying things that go viral and actual collective bargaining collective bargaining is what's going to get them the deal that they need and the protections that they need not

making the internet like cheer for them but

wait to see as i said no but you didn't know your wait to see was loaded with something you're saying nafisa call you easily won the internet burn Byrne, got her, and Engelberg came out as the power and said, properly chastened, I'm terrible, and none of it matters.

Wait until I start negotiating with these owners to make sure you guys don't get much of anything you want.

Wait till the lawyers start negotiating.

The lawyers.

Like, Kathy's not doing the negotiation.

The lawyers are doing that.

Over the last few years, speaking of lawyers, the law firm of Wachtel, Lipton, Rosen, Katz, has investigated several NBA teams, latest of whom are the Clippers.

And yet people always call them Wachtel Lipton.

How do Rosen and Katz feel?

I know how.

Underappreciated.

Same note too, bros.

Really?

You feel underappreciated?

Well, you know, sometimes.

I went to the doctor, and guess what he told me?

Guess what he told me?

You got a fever?

That girl, you better try to have fun no matter what you do.

I stopped seeing that, Doctor.

Quiet Leonard Media Day responds to the Pablo Torrey investigation.

Man, why y'all got to bring up old shit?

Rico Dowdle

ran rough shot all over the Dolphins.

If you had asked someone yesterday before the games if the Dolphins can stop the run,

the answer should have been, I doubt it'll happen.

That's from the Howie Long collection of jokes.

Howie Long?

How?

I don't know.

Idius.

Baseball postseason started.

I'm all the way locked in.

Yankees beat the Red Sox.

Yeah.

It's a tragedy for me to see your season's over.

And I never will forget the Sam Adams you drank.

Hey, Boston, F.U.

You guys remember Millie Vanilli?

I do.

Was it good?

It was tragic, was it not?

It is tragic, but the funny thing is that, because I was singing the song and my kids would say, what's that?

And so I told them there's this group called Millie Vanilli, and it was a huge scandal.

They went Grammys in a huge scandal.

Turns out they were lip-syncing the whole time.

And they were like, oh, well, what's wrong with that?

I'm like, well, no, you know, you're supposed to be the one singing.

And so I pulled up the video

and my kids looked at me and said, okay, first of all, that's the lip-synced voice?

They couldn't sing that?

And then number two, they said, dad, you couldn't tell they were lip-syncing.

It really was bad.

I was like, it was a different time.

We were

believing that.

It is hard to believe that Millie Vanilli was a giant scandal touring the world with hit records that they were beautiful enough to perform, but they weren't clearly and obviously singing at all.

It was one of the biggest musical scandals in the history of musical scandal.

Baseball divisional series started.

Yankees got their ass tucked.

I'm all the way out on baseball now.

Galatissarai fans set off fireworks outside of Liverpool's hotel for the UCL match.

I believe we have a video for this.

This is the fans

right outside.

It's 2 a.m.

See that, folks?

That's homefield advantage.

Don't tell me about oh, we jumped through a table and poured ketchup on ourselves Don't tell me, oh, the sun shines on this side of the stadium, on their side of the stadium, and it's hot over there.

That's not home field advantage.

No, we lit up the homefield advantage.

We lit up the sky with explosives.

Wait, this is not celebrating a win?

This is before the game.

The night before the game.

Right outside their hotel.

It's to scare the opponent.

Keep him up at night.

Dog.

Where are we?

I hate it.

We're like, oh, this is a tough place to play.

No, it's not.

That's Galatissarai.

They're not even a power.

It's just

one random European club in Turkey.

Get your stuff together, America.

McCorkle Jones.

Just Wally Pip, Brock Purdy.

You guys remember Wally Pip?

Why would they remember Wally Pip?

Wally Pipp was a baseball player from 1929.

It's not about why would they remember Wally Pipp.

It's about what happened to Wally Pip.

What happened to Wally Pipp?

Lou Gehrig or Joe DiMaggio happened to Wally Pipp.

Lou Gehrig.

Lou Gehrig, right?

One of those two.

I confuse them all the time.

1929, 1959.

But it's such a funny thing to have as your Wikipedia.

It's like Wally Pipp and Mendoza, right?

The Mendoza line.

I don't want a Wikipedia page devoted to that shit in my name.

Speaking of bad Wikipedia pages,

Mark Sanchez is building a a hell of a one.

Like, who would have thought you could erase butt fumble as the biggest scandal in his career?

And of all the times we've done back alley teams, no one ever mentioned Mark Sanchez.

Mark Sanchez.

He's a captain now, right?

You gotta be.

Mike Ryan, not ready to write all Texas.

Mike, they lost to Florida.

I'm writing them off like a boozy brunch on my tax returns.

Legal, by the way.

They're an SEC team.

They'll stick around.

From the August 27th edition of Weekend Observations, and I quote,

Shadura Sanders named QB3 to start the season.

Let me lay out how this will all play out.

The Browns will suck.

Blacko will get hurt early.

Dylan Gabriel will get a shot too soon.

And suck as a result.

Shadur will take over.

They'll play well enough to give the city of Cleveland hope, but not well enough to stop the Browns from sucking.

Everything is going according to plan.

Georgia Tech took the week off this week, so you guys got to rest easy.

But it's still, every single week, to hell with Georgia.

Speaking of hell, Art Bryles, those are the weekend observations.

If a mean derails this Miami season, Mike, if a mean Georgia Tech yellowjack derail this season.

I mean, they could.

Miami's got a loss in them, I think.

Right here.

Right here.

Greensboro.

You going, Mike?

You're going to be there?

It's Charlotte.

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