Hour 1: Smells Different At The Fronton

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The family that vacations together stays together.

At least, that was the plan.

Except now, the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm your connecting rooms.

Wait, what?

That's right, ma'am.

You have rooms 201 and 709.

No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.

Eh, the doors have double locks, they'll be fine.

When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay.

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Hilton, for this day.

day.

This is the Dan Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

The fear of Yudonis Haslam as enforcer for our bucket has evidently worked.

I'm in negotiations with Yodonis Haslam to become the bucket enforcer.

We're going to go to the bucket here in this hour.

Roy is paying his penalty of being an old-timey baseball player.

Zaz is paying his penalty of doing the entire show in a bed.

What's UD gonna do, honestly?

Like, if one of you guys decided, not that I would do it, but what if one of you guys decided, you know what, I'm not gonna pay this off.

What's he gonna do?

He'll be in.

He's gonna hit someone.

Well, you can ask him.

When he comes in, you can ask him.

Hopefully, he trades as Gocheri.

I don't think he's gonna come in.

You're just gonna say he hasn't shown his face around here once yet.

I don't think he's coming in.

You're gonna hit me, UD?

Yeah.

Is that what you're gonna do?

You're gonna hit me.

We got laws here, bro.

He's not gonna hit me.

Tony's already suing the company.

Make me.

Oh, boy.

I might hop on, make this a class action you know what I mean I gotta hit me tear your tear your quad and we can join

we'll see how you guys do when he is here are you threatening that he's gonna hit me just we'll see you guys can take it up with him when he's here I wonder if some of the bass in your voice will disappear when he's standing behind you Zazzlo took a nap during the break we'll find out together yes but he's serving his punishment and people are serving their punishment I have to do mine tomorrow so don't do it what's he gonna do hit you he's not gonna hit me walk right up to you Donnie's hazel I'm gonna poke him in the chest and say, what are you going to do?

Hit me?

Well, no, then you hit him first and then he can hit you back, I think.

I will respect his personal space while also mentioning that his renegades fell to the Cyclones, the top of the table cyclones, because you know what happens

when you go up against the cyclones, Dan, do you know what happens?

What?

You lose to the Undataka.

That's right.

You got to one on one with the Undateka.

And it doesn't work out for folks.

I'm I'm telling you right now.

Smells different at the Fronton right now.

He's like Manu if you squished him.

You smell it?

You smell that?

Smells different at the Fronton.

It smells like Sigs.

It smells like Greg Cody passed out there on the floor.

That's what it smells like.

If you want.

Bringing up the darkest time in my life.

If you want to.

Video team, show the Undateka.

Ah, there he is.

If you want to do something sad

in Miami to help the animals, we've got a bit of a crisis down here, one of many in Miami, with the animal kingdom and people not taking care of the animals.

But the Humane Society of Greater Miami is doing something here on Saturday from 8.30 to noon.

Food trucks, games, pet costume contest, adoptable dogs.

It's Margaret Pace Park on North Bay Shore Drive.

And you can check out the details there and at the website for thehumanesociety.org

slash walk the animals if you want to participate in that.

I've got a number of different football things that I want to get to.

If you want your baseball, and I am excited for the baseball today, if you want your baseball, pitch clock is going to be in hour two.

I don't know if you guys have been watching late night television.

It is, it's been nice.

It's been heartwarming to see how much these guys like each other.

This was not the case for Letterman and Leno and Conan, the way that these people respect each other, like each other.

So you've got Kimmel in New York right now, and Colbert is on his show, and Colbert is you know also having Kimmel on his show.

And I don't know if you guys saw the numbers, but did you see September 17th through September 23rd how many cancellations Disney and Hulu got?

Because this was not leadership developing a spine.

This was the people speaking and with dollars making Disney, forcing Disney to stand up to an American core principle.

1.7 million people in a six-day span canceled their subscriptions and got the attention of management and forced them to develop something about it.

But like how many re-signed and now they can come out and say the board, hey, great quarter.

Look, record re-signs.

Quarter million people rejoined, but it's a slow burn.

They'll be back.

Also, like some of the people who were putting out the pictures, like they would...

They would buy the subscription just to then say they canceled it and they have it for a year already because you already paid up front.

And then in a year from now, they'll just subscribe again.

And then you just inflate and boost the subscription number.

It's kind of a game.

Okay, so it didn't work.

It wasn't the American people speaking.

Billy's got a different take on this.

The 1.7 million number doesn't mean anything.

Billy's got a different idea.

No, you think the people of America actually have a voice in anything that goes on anymore?

Get out of here.

That's the truest thing he's ever said in his entire life.

I can make a difference.

Corporatists versus Oligarth.

Listen, if you think you can make a difference, go adopt a dog this week and a dance dog-a-thon.

But can't you?

I'm an ally.

I love the animals.

The dogs.

And cats, too.

A little less than the dogs, but we love cats.

We like cats.

It is Saturday from 8:30 to noon.

Humane Society, Miami.

Dance Dogathon.

Or Dan's Dogathon, if you prefer to call it that.

That's fine.

Just make sure that you help the animals.

Billy seems to be very concerned about Tua.

Tua hasn't been the same since Billy bought his jersey.

That guy.

You think that's what it is now that we're talking it out?

That's what it is, man.

It might be with the thing with you, yeah.

I mean, I was, I was, not to make this too much about me, but like, I was with my now wife for probably like nine years or something before we got engaged.

And with Tua, it was like a year.

And I bought a jersey.

That was quite the commitment on my part.

He's made me look like a fool.

He continues to do that.

Listen to this sound here from Tua explaining how it is that he's avoided concussions this year.

Come to know or come to understand from what the doctors were talking about is, you know, your brain kind of sits in fluids.

And, you know, if I'm eating eggs, bacon, and sausage and there's not much carbs, like if there's no bread or whatnot, you kind of drink water and it'll just flush out of you.

So you can't stay hydrated that way.

But the carbs kind of help soak that in and stay there.

That's why I haven't had a concussion.

I crush carbs.

My brain, you can't rattle this thing.

I'm worried about this guy.

You're not worried about that.

Who, me?

That's what we're doing now.

We're eating bagels and toast to stop concussions.

Learned about hydration.

This is the guy who is leading the team now.

Oh, my God.

What are we doing?

What are we doing?

Dan, what are we doing?

Legitimately forgot Saz was in the team.

Did he just wake up?

Like, what happened?

What happened?

You know,

I'm getting a little bit sleepy.

I'm not going to lie.

Like, I'm really comfortable here.

It looks comfortable.

It doesn't look like much of a punishment either, I got to say.

The punishment is trying to keep my eyes open.

I'm very sleepy.

I love Tua just, like, trying to educate us.

Like, guys, listen up.

I figured it out.

It's smart as you.

Eggs, bacon, and sausage, and there's not much carbs, like, if there's no bread or whatnot.

I love the whatnot.

Dan, there's no bread.

You don't eat bread, Dan.

That doesn't sound too bright.

I'm not a dietician, but the carbs that helps with the water that

takes out the water.

Should he be drinking more water?

Like, he can't hurt his head because there's no water now?

What?

He makes his brain

in all that liquid in the head, it makes it kind of not bounce around as much.

The carbs fill it up more, so it just, there's less bouncing around.

Because of the water.

So he's just, if he's super hydrated, he can't get it.

Like the brain is in fluid, like you said.

His brain is like sloshing around in fluid.

And that means more concussions.

Every time you eat it.

No, less concussion.

every time you eat a piece of toast, it just

is moving around.

Like a pillow, imagine a pillow, like Zaz, like sitting on the pillow.

Do you think when he took that hit, the late hit in the game the other night, that when, because you saw when he got up, he was like smiling and he was shaking his head, says, Yeah, bagel and cream cheese this morning, play up.

So, the fluids are good or bad for the concussions.

Let's have him explain it to us one more time.

No, don't.

I'm dumber listening to it.

Come to know or come to understand from what the doctors were talking about is, you know, your brain kind of sits in fluids.

And, you know, if I'm eating eggs, bacon, and sausage, and there's not much carbs, like if there's no bread or whatnot, you kind of drink water and it'll just flush out of you.

So you can't stay hydrated that way.

But the carbs kind of help soak that in and stay there.

So the carbs help keep the water in your brain so that it keeps your brain safe.

Whereas if you don't eat carbs, the water goes right through you.

You pee it out, and all of a sudden there's nothing protecting your brain.

Okay, why did he rattle off proteins?

Those are good too, but you need to leave.

Those aren't really carbs.

Or whatnot.

So proteins, according to AI, are not inherently good for hydration, but carbs are good for hydration.

But he didn't list off.

He didn't list off.

But then he said that when you drink water, if you hadn't drink, if you don't have carbs in your system, when you drink water, it goes right through you.

My personal opinion on this is that the best way to cut down on concussions is to cut down on the football.

Don't, what do you mean?

You sound like Zaz.

But are you cutting down on football and having carbs or protein?

Because that's the issue at hand.

You can have carbs and protein, and if you cut out the football, you're going to have fewer concussions.

Can I put butter on my toast?

Butter on this office.

When we're speaking about.

I think it's wheat toast or white.

Have we decided which is better for no concussions?

You got to go white, right?

Like the fat one.

Speaking of quarterbacks that are looking or sounding foolish, I don't know if you guys noticed.

But immediately after we had a meet on and we were talking, Tony said that the mime population in America is either endangered or extinct, but there is still a flourishing mime economy in Europe.

But as soon as that happened, that night, one of the Jets celebrated a play by miming, by doing a mime mime celebration during the Monday night football game.

And Shador Sanders yesterday, and Shador Sanders' mom has called Rex Ryan cancerous for some of his commentary on Shador Sanders.

Here's Shador Sanders.

Does this qualify for you guys as miming?

He doesn't get the start this weekend.

Dylan Gabriel gets the start.

Joe Flacco has been benched.

And let's remember last week Rex Ryan told him to shut his mouth.

So I think that's what he's doing here.

Okay, so is this successful miming from Shador Sanders as we try to bring back the mime in America and endangered species?

There's one more.

What do you think?

You have to show

to the coaches just to

have them have that belief in you that you can be raised.

It was advertised as miming.

That is not miming.

You got to be as if you're in a box.

It's more pantomiming.

If you're not doing this, you're not miming.

Yeah.

Oh, my mime.

That's not miming.

He's not miming.

He's not pantomiming.

He's just pretending to speak and no words or sounds are coming out of his mouth.

Bad for the podcast listeners.

While grinning.

He's grinning, mouthing words, and they're just like, you want to say anything?

And he's just

talking about a third-string quarterback.

You see a a lot of third-string quarterbacks doing nonsense?

This is nonsense.

Well, the thing about this move also

is that he was a practice squad guy, as they told us before.

But also, Joe Flacco's been benched, but is still listed as second-string.

So he's still the third-string quarterback, even after the benching of the starter.

I hear Zaz's point.

You see a lot of third-string quarterbacks do this nonsense.

I don't see a lot of third-string quarterbacks getting interviewed because I don't see them being a topic of daily conversation on cable sports debate shows.

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Hey, Mike.

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Don Lebatard.

John Zaslow.

How you love that catchphrase?

Bad news for

opposing teams in the triple lane

Stugats These all smiles

Till the bronze are clutch again

Clutch again

Clutch again

This is the Dan Levatar Show with the Stugats

I did see what I thought was a third string quarterback getting mugged in Dublin.

You got to report that though.

When you put next to each other, because we'll get to the bucket in a second, but when I put that to a sound and that Shador

Sanders non-sound, when I put those things next to each other and then I compare it to the quarterback that every defensive coordinator in the league is fearing because his confidence level is through the roof.

The Rams are ram tough and Matthew Stafford getting away from the Lions organization that had two of its best players ever quit.

Matthew Stafford got so much confidence just in leaving that he was throwing to Cooper Cup in a Super Bowl when everyone in the stadium knew he was going to throw to Cooper Cup and he was doing it late in the Super Bowl with no look passes.

Did you guys see that I think Matthew Stafford made Xavian Howard quit last weekend and this isn't a play against Xavian Howard, but I want to show you guys, also bad for the audio audience, I want to show you guys Matthew Stafford looking off the safety because he's looking one way and the Colt safety goes with Matthew Stafford's eyes, but that is not where Matthew Stafford is throwing the ball.

He's He's not throwing the ball where he's looking.

He's throwing the ball to a place he is not looking at.

Not completely lost for the podcast listeners because there is quite the audio payoff here.

You can hear Matthew Stafford very excited and pleased with himself.

Very happy, very happy that he tricked the safety, saying, You are a fool for looking at me.

Don't look at me!

Don't look at me!

Don't look at me!

See ya!

See ya!

I mean, the confidence level on this dude.

You get so many hours of these kinds of reps.

He's so confident back there.

The old dog, Dan.

I love watching this old dog.

He's learning new tricks.

What are you doing out there?

The no look, no look passes is what he's doing.

He's done this.

He did this earlier this year against the Titans where he threw a ball to Devontae Adams where he was looking the opposite way and fit it between two defenders.

And Devontae Adams had a window of about six inches to get the ball through.

And it was the most incredible pass I've ever seen.

What a month for Xavian Howard.

Came out feeling really good about himself because he went against old Carb Protein Tua and then in a matter of four weeks having to go up against Puka and Matthew Stafford just decided I'm not good at this anymore.

I'm gone.

Tua had a no-look pass this year.

It was an interception that ended a game but he tried.

It is

really rare for a player in the middle of the paychecks to quit a football season.

Vantae Smith did it with the Bills, did it during, during the middle of a game where he just quit and retired.

But Xavian Howard was, I thought, going to be important to the Colts.

I thought that he was only available this offseason because of an assortment of off field problems and

a slowing of his speed with age combined to make him someone that not a lot of teams were interested in.

When Xavian Howard was a great player, not a good player, was a great player for the Miami Dolphins.

To see him quit in the middle of a promising season or at the beginning of a promising season, super strange because these guys,

the way the contracts work, these guys are paid during the season.

Guys do not quit during the season.

They might quit during training camp.

They might quit in the offseason, but quitting isn't generally something that happens four games into a season.

And the Colts are good, right?

I could see if the Colts were 0-4 and things.

were just miserable if they were the Panthers or if they were the Dolphins or if they were the Saints.

But it's like the Colts have a chance to win the division to like make some noise in the playoffs.

And it's like, you know what, I'm good.

Mike, before we go to the bucket here, can you get the gear head real quick?

I know you've been dying for about two weeks to talk about Denny Hamlin.

You can't shut up about Denny Hamlin.

You're somebody who's trying to get us, the audience, interested in the Denny Hamlin story because it's an interesting story.

You've got a wild loose cannon driving around at high rates of speed, running relatives off the road.

Yeah, you've got him racing for Joe Gibbs Racing, but he co-owns a racing team with Michael Jordan.

He is actively suing NASCAR, a sport that he is, you can't say dominated, but he's been one of the best drivers of his generation, but he's never won a Cup Series championship.

He's arguably the greatest driver to not have that to his name.

He's won so many big races, and this year kind of felt like it's going to be the year for Denny Hamlin.

But the last two weeks have been truly bizarre.

Again, he races for the legendary football coach Joe Gibbs.

The last race prior to this one, he ran Joe Gibbs' grandson off the track and he wrecked him, leaving everybody confused, including Joe Gibbs.

Then the following week, he is chasing down Bubble Wallace, who is in first place.

He owns this car.

That's fine.

He's paid by Joe Gibbs to win races.

We all get that.

But it seems as though he goes out of his way.

If he just stays in his lane, he's going to win this race.

In fact, he takes himself and Bubble Wallace out and chase Elliott comes from out of nowhere to win the race.

So let's have, do we have the still image of Bubble Wallace flipping off his boss?

Bubble Wallace gave an interview immediately post-race.

He did, saying, you know,

yes, this is a cheaters never prosper.

Like this is

he's giving the middle finger to his boss for the world to see.

Now, Denny Hamlin kind of pulled rank.

It's awesome to hear Denny Hamlin immediately after everyone has all these questions go to his own podcast and try to give his POV on it.

He defended his actions here, but Denny Hamlin's having a really interesting season.

Can we queue up the video of Denny Hamlin trying to explain himself as to why he did this to Bubba Wallace?

And it kind of sounds like he pulled rank on Bubba.

On Sunday, I am the driver.

The person in the 11 car is the driver.

That's where the disconnect, I think, comes from.

They expect me to be the guy with a 2311 shirt on when I'm in the 11 car, and that's just not possible.

I was racing the 23 the same as I would race anybody in that moment.

It is not up to me to get 2311 into the round of eight.

My responsibility is to get the 11 into the round of eight.

Joe pays me a lot of money to make sure that that car wins a championship or has a shot to.

Could you imagine the outrage if I just backed off and let him have it?

It's a kooky situation.

Every time I explain this to somebody, like, no, he races for another team, but he owns the other team.

And people wonder, well, how

does that not appear to be a conflict it does appear to be a conflict but actions like that make you really confused but it wasn't eyes on the prize and meanwhile he didn't notice chase elliott running low he gave chase elliott that win credit to the nine car but this is a really interesting precarious situation kind of feels like denny hamlin even though he says all the right things in public is feeling the pressure to not be motorsports greatest loser Speaking of conflicts, before we go to the Dentech bucket here, I don't know if you guys have an opinion on on this because we haven't talked about it in a while.

But at this point,

the highest paid broadcaster in broadcasting, Tom Brady, is distracting me during games because he's still bad at this.

Like, it's not even that he's neutral or mediocre or milquetoast or

just there and I don't notice it.

I'm noticing and he's distracting me with it not being good.

Has Tom Brady done anything during any of these broadcasts that you guys remember?

Never mind the way that Tony Romo started, where he was

correctly predicting plays.

Is there anything memorable that Tom Brady is giving the Fox broadcast for that $375 million guaranteed dollars that any of you have from the first four weeks of the season that would indicate that he has improved at this to you?

No, no, but that's not why, that's not why they pay him that money.

I mean, you know that.

They pay him that money so that he's in the room with potential sponsors and advertisers.

Like, that's literally.

But he's distracting me during the broadcast.

That can't be.

It's not about you, Dan.

They don't care about you.

Well, but they.

They don't care about us.

Okay, but you don't.

I guess I'm asking you, are you guys...

I'm noticing when he's doing things incorrectly.

I'm not noticing when he's doing them correctly.

And at this point, he needs to just be an offensive lineman.

Don't get a penalty so I don't notice you.

I was hopeful with Eagles' Bucks because I think that was probably the best game of his career last year because he was giving us insight into the whole like weird dynamic with him and Baker and Baker replacing him and being successful despite the vibes being totally different.

And I was eager for that, but he's not meeting with these guys.

So there's not much to build on over there.

And that's really impacting him.

I thought, all right, if he's allowed to be in these meetings, like he wasn't allowed last year, we'd get a better Tom Brady.

I was confused as to why they decided to allow it.

And that all unraveled with one still image of him in the Raiders' press box.

But it doesn't feel like a big game when he is on it.

I find myself listening to Greg Olson, missing him on the bigger games.

I was wrong about this.

I thought Tom Brady would lean on his experience and storytelling because no one has experienced more.

for the audience than Tom Brady.

And

we're just dying to hear all these stories.

It hasn't worked out at all.

And there doesn't seem to be room for improvement.

What a surprise.

You can't just say, hey, I'm going to be a good broadcaster and be a good broadcaster.

You can't just say, hey, I'm here.

I'm top guy now.

You think you can just be in bed and be a good broadcaster?

Not everyone could do this.

Let me rephrase.

There's plenty of room for improvement.

He doesn't seem capable of improving.

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Don Lebatard.

John, can you rate my Al Pacino from that billiard scene in Carlito's Way if I do it for you?

I think it's pretty good.

Yeah.

Okay.

Stugats.

You think you're big time?

But you're gonna die.

Big time.

That is

on my infamous scale of one to ten.

That's a that's a 7.6.

Solid.

Good job, David.

That's a Sewi nominee right there.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

If he hasn't improved yet, what gives you the indication that he's going to improve?

Because I've seen no indication so far as we prepare to go to the Dentech bucket

that he's capable of making memorable content.

I mean, Dan, in QB fashion, Sam Darnold was bad for a long time and then he got good.

Geno Smith, the same way.

Like maybe Brady will take a couple of years and be good.

That's not how it works in broadcasting.

Guys that are like thought to be bad they get Jason Witten.

Oh no.

Like people with primetime big marquee jobs.

Maybe we do this experiment for a couple of seasons, but at a certain point we gotta go.

Not as long though as to Tony's point.

He keeps adding value and making sales.

Like they'll keep he's not good at it, but he's bringing in a ton of money for them.

They're gonna keep him around.

The bucket is presented by Dentech's Ultimate Fantasy Football Punishment.

Learn more and sign up your league at dentech.com.

Tony's going first here and finally people are paying their punishments around here.

Tony, what did you get?

Picked a good one down.

Let's see.

I got the Steelers.

The Steelers are...

Where are they here?

They might be on a bye.

They're on a bye team.

Congratulations, Tony.

The buy teams are Atlanta, Chicago, Green Bay, and Pittsburgh.

I'm underheated this year.

Early buys.

Zaz also has a buy because he's got the golden helmet of life for three straight weeks.

Congratulations to sleepy Zaz.

Mike, go ahead and select from the bucket.

I lost last week, but I'm taking my sweet time to pay this off because I don't see Udonis has him here enforcing shit.

Also, thoughts, old money Charlie, who's got a health battle ahead of him.

We love you, Charlie.

A former Reaper in his own right.

Wait a minute.

The Reaper's not always the same Reaper.

No, I believe Charlie.

Probably I shouldn't have invoked the Reaper there.

Gamblerville Jaguars.

jaguars i'm putting that back they got the kansas city chiefs

are at home they're a three and a half point dog against the chiefs risky

charlie would be final kind of like jaguars touch base with charlie

odd timing and judgment from you well we haven't said it we haven't said it this one's really bad i downgraded severely everybody is out for the san francisco 49ers today everybody the 49ers are playing against the rams and that line has gone up to nine and a half it started at like three or four No Birdie, no Jennings, no kiddle.

All right, no pierce all.

I mean, they got white guys all over the field, and even the white guys are not on the field.

Mac Jones.

I don't think football is for Juwan Jennings.

Guy got hurt every game.

Billy, go ahead and select.

Got the Seahawks.

Three and a half point favorites against the Bucs.

I'm putting that back.

I like them, too.

Juan Felix.

Seahawks at home is a three and a half point favorites.

I'm with Billy.

I like the Bucks.

It's one of the biggest favorites of the week.

Doesn't like him.

I got the Colts.

Seven and a half point favorites at home.

Look at that.

They work around.

I'm jealous of them.

Look at that, Billy.

You are a brave spirit.

Spiro Diaz on that call for sure.

Roy is going now.

Molly Cox.

The Arizona Cardinals.

They're a big favorite.

Seven and a half point favorites, Tennessee.

Come on, Billy.

They live dangerous.

Chris Cody's going to go now.

All right, here we go.

Rummaging.

He got in trouble for his quote.

I got the Packers.

It feels like.

Oh, bye.

Loving it.

I'm jealous of how Wallace is going for everybody else.

Cam Ward got in trouble for saying they were ass?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she got, you know,

they didn't want the rookie saying that.

He's a rookie.

Double agent, huh?

I don't like this Castellanos thing.

Yeah, that's weird.

You talk to Carson Vicker?

You don't talk to anybody.

Reaper, climb over Zaz.

Don't walk around the camera.

You want to hand me the bucket, Reaper?

No, you can't have two hands on a bucket.

Oh, I don't know.

Wow, conflict.

Conflict of interest, Reaper.

I like that.

Don't do that, Reaper.

Reaper, you want to walk all the way around.

All of a sudden, they're militant about how they're protecting the rules around the bucket when they have to do it.

How you do anything is hard to do everything.

That's right.

Powerful.

I love how happy the Reaper seems.

I got the Dolphins at Carolina.

Ooh, that's good.

You're putting up, Blount.

Wow.

Geez.

You're going to regret that.

Remember their offensive lineman?

Classic roader.

How did I pick it again?

What?

It's still going to work out for you.

No.

It is.

You're alright.

I don't think that's how that's supposed to work.

That's how it works.

That's why you put it back because that chance is always live.

I think everybody survives except for me.

I'm a guaranteed L.

So the Dolphins are going on the road to Carolina, and I don't know why you would trust that team on the road, Carlson.

I also don't know when we talk about Kansas City and Jacksonville.

Mike Ryan threw back Jacksonville.

Kansas City is a big favorite in that game.

Like, to make them a big favorite on the road in a Monday night game is giving them a lot of credit for what happened

against Baltimore.

Chris, you say it's not that big a favorite.

They're telling me that they think that the Chiefs are seven points better than the Jags.

If they're making them on a a Monday night game.

I think

Monday night dogs cover at a 70% clip throughout the history of Monday night football because you're the only game, and on Monday night, it might be even a little bit higher than that.

The Chiefs evidently changed a whole lot of opinions just with Xavier Worthy.

Yeah, they're a good team.

The rule for if it's a big line or not is if it's less than five, small line.

If it's five or more, big line.

The only reason that I say three and a half points is a big line is is because games in that sport are so close.

I mentioned that last week it was weird to see in the witching hour, as they went into the witching hour, the only one-score game was Bills and Saints, because the last few weeks of the witching hour, and honestly, the last three years of the witching hour, what they've done in that sport to legislate equality is a bit crazy.

It's basketball with its salary cap does not create the kind of parody that football does.

There is nothing like football in terms of creating these teams are close.

And you've seen very little this season that you can describe as a surprise.

The Saints play the Bills close and you're surprised, even though the Bills, the record of the Bills' opponents is terrible.

Cleveland beating Green Bay

is a surprise.

And it can only be so much of a surprise because Cleveland's at home and the spread is seven points.

But you've seen very few double-digit spreads this year.

Yeah,

I would point out, though, yeah, while it's hard to do it in the NBA, they do have seven consecutive unique champions, you know.

Now, going into the year, like, you kind of know who those teams could be that could win, but you got a different team winning the whole thing every year now.

Oh, but here's what I'm maintaining, though.

You're right.

After decades of basketball being totally lopsided by this, the champions are indeed more random over the last seven years empirically than they've ever been.

But you know what's not happening in those playoff games?

Buzzer beaters, close games, these three-point games at the end where all of a sudden somebody's hitting a shot you remember forever because the three-point shot has made it so the distortions in these game sevens are always 20, 30 point games.

They're not close.

They're double-digit games.

Football's never that.

Like football, it's weird when I'm watching last weekend and the games aren't close in the witching hour where I'm just now at this point expecting if you're giving me eight or nine games, half of them at the end are going to be everybody's tearing each other's heads off to get six yards.

And it was almost like the Super Bowl last year, right?

The Super Bowl was a blowout, and everybody's like, Oh, damn, this is supposed to be a great game.

They had played two years prior, and it was a great game there.

And it's like seeing a blowout in that sport just kind of feels weird now.

I will say something that I don't love at the end of these NFL games, which you know, most of them are close.

I don't like because the kicking is so good now.

You start like the final drive on the 30-yard line.

All right,

if I pick up 30 yards, I'm ready to kick a field goal at the buzzer.

Like you don't get these long drives to win a game.

It's unsatisfying.

Vic Fangio, of all people, has had some opinions on the kicking.

I will say, though, when you guys

go ahead and name them.

The Seahawks crush the Saints.

Name all the games.

The Carolina crushed the Falcons.

Name all of the games this season where somebody goes out there and just wins by three or four touchdowns.

And the game is decided very early.

Patriots, Panthers last week.

Colts, Dolphins, Lions, Browns last week, even though...

Panthers, Falcons.

Yeah, that was.

I mentioned that, but

it's half a dozen.

They're playing a lot of games.

To play a month's worth of games, and you can name the six of them because there aren't that many is a little bit nuts.

But let's play Vic Fangio talking about...

what's he talking about here?

Is he talking about the number of missed kicks this season?

No, he's talking about the length of these kicks and how it's changed the games.

And, you know, he might accuse people of doing some stuff.

These kicking balls that they changed this year have drastically changed the kicking game.

So it's almost like they need an asterisk here, like it was the live ball error or the asterisk for those home runs.

Bonds and Sosa and Maguire were hitting.

Is the shape different?

No.

In years past, the officials would rub them down or other people would rub them down and you play with them.

Now the balls are in-house all week and they kick those balls that they've had and nobody else touches them.

I mean, the guy in Dallas is going to hit a 70-plus yarder this year.

You can just book it.

It's drastically changed the game, the kicking game and the field goal.

Guys have longer range than they used to.

Kind of like Brady Anderson with the Orioles.

And we went from 15 homers to 50 in one year.

You used a performance in Hatch and Dick.

I am insinuating

Which reminds me.

When we invoked, how does Aroldus Chapman do it at his age?

Whoa.

In that sport.

That's reckless.

No.

It was reckless of us to not mention it.

Nope.

It was reckless of us to talk about him and not crochet with how great he was that game one.

I'm going to tell you something.

That's kind of BS that you get to just get a ball, a different ball, a ball that no one's touched to kick.

You should have to use the ball that was used the previous play.

I think that the other team should, like, they should, I rub down the other team's balls, they rub down my balls.

Whoa!

None of that is how football works.

Each team always uses their own balls.

What?

Apparently, it used to be a league thing, and now the team's playing.

Now they use the ball from the previous play.

Now there's just kicking balls, is what he's saying.

You guys mentioned that New England, Carolina game, and it made me think of

Shamanade alum Chris Myers

walking through football purgatory, always getting that game.

And I know he just looks at the schedule and he's like, bleep you, Fox.

Like, just bleep.

I think he looks ahead at the whole week's schedule.

He's just like, that's my game.

They're never going to let Chris Myers be anything other than the guy broadcasting the sixth game.

They're not allowing him room for promotion as they pay Tom Brady $375 million to be terrible.

Do you think he books the flight before he gets the actual thing?

There is nobody more unhappy that the Bucs are good with Baker than Chris Myers because you could always guarantee, you could set your watch to it.

Chris Myers was on the Bucs call.

Do you think when the Colts schedule comes out, Spiro Didi's just puts that on the fridge?

He's like, he knows exactly where he's going to be.

If the Raiders are playing the Colts, he is there.

He's going to be there this week.

I don't even know, but I know he's there.

No, he's got to be there.

I'm going to check.

Carolina, that game, Carolina, New England.

Ooh, that game's on Fox.

Spiro will not be there.

I did not want to watch that game.

I had no interest.

I haven't wanted to watch a game.

What were you guys saying of Carolinas for a while?

What were you guys saying?

The two offensive linemen.

There was somebody, there was somebody that we, there was a team we were talking about in the other room the last couple of days that someone identified them as the worst franchise in all of sports.

And it got me to thinking because through my lifetime.

The Clippers and the Lions are sort of viewed as that's the worst franchise there is.

And somewhere in there, the Charlotte Bobcats get to skate a little bit.

I've been recommending the Angels get in this conversation when you consider the resources they've applied to not be as bad as they've been.

That was the conversation we were having.

You mentioned the Angels because Albert Poulholst is going to be their manager and you were wondering whether the Angels were the worst franchise in all of sports.

My guy Spiro Didas has Tennessee at average.

We knew it.

We knew it.

AMC South High.

By the way, how does Fox steal a classic CBS game like Colts and Raiders?

That is a CBS first-class game.

There is no way that it should be played on Fox, and that game should always be at 425.

Guess where?

Tell me where Chris Myers is going to end up this week, because I do believe that when Chris Myers gets Carolina,

when he gets Carolina and the Patriots, he's saying bleep his bosses because he's not allowed any upward mobility calling football.

This weekend, Chris Myers.

Has Vegas at Indianapolis.

If I grab a random fan, I'm like, hey, do you follow baseball?

Oh, you know, kind of tangentially.

All right, name the three best players of this generation.

They might go off the top of their head.

Trout, Otani, Pujols.

And I'd be like, they played on the same team at the same time.

And they were bad.

Folks, listen up.

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