Local Hour: Billy's Day of Positivity

All right, Smirnoff.

Official vodka of the NFL, the world's number one vodka.

Here's the deal: game day is everything.

The noise, the rituals, the passion, the dip, the wings, the dip again.

Smirnoff belongs in that mix because if you're tailgating or hosting or just sitting there checking your fantasy lineup every 30 seconds, you need Smirnoff.

Otherwise, it's not a real game day.

They've been doing this since 1864, which is.

I don't even want to do the math.

A long time.

they're award-winning they make cocktails super easy and they're all about bringing fans together so yeah we do game days that's their thing and if you're over 21 you should too grab a bottle of smearnoff at your local retailer and head to smearnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day please drink responsibly smearnoff number 21 vodka distilled from grain 40 alcohol by volume the smirnoff company new york new york please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age

There's a simple way to keep all those teams that are making content from going off-brand.

Meet Adobe Express.

The quick and easy app to create on-brand content.

Now everyone can make presentations, posts, videos, and flyers that follow design guidelines.

Brand kits with pre-approved assets and lockable templates make it easy.

Generative AI features powered by Firefly are safe for business, so people in marketing, HR, and sales can confidently create content on their own.

Learn more at adobe.com/slash express.

Wish you could become a morning person?

You know the type of before the sun, early morning runs, first one to the office with donuts and a smile?

How do they do it?

Easy.

With the new Galaxy Watch 8, sleep tracking and personalized insights from Samsung Health help you improve so you can wake up to a whole new you.

One who, dare I say it, skips the snooze?

It's possible.

Train your sleep with Galaxy Watch 8.

Learn more at Samsung.com.

Requires compatible Samsung Galaxy phone, Samsung Health app, and Samsung account.

Greg Cody is in place, and his microphone isn't anywhere near his face, but he's

practically ready to go.

It's exciting to see Homer Cody on a day like today.

I don't know how he feels about yesterday's Dolphins victory.

I call him Homer Cody, but I got Zaszlo here in a jersey, and I got Billy wearing nothing but a mustache.

Well, I shouldn't say nothing but a mustache, but the only part of his costume that I see is a mustache.

What are you supposed to be?

Because all you look like is Billy with a mustache.

Well, this is me going above and beyond because I lost two weeks ago and I selected the punishment that was labeled the Ted Lasso.

And the Ted Lasso was not dress up as Ted Lasso.

It was just be positive for an entire show.

And I said, okay, I can do that.

I don't have to wear a costume.

Like, well, you know, if you want to wear a mustache and go above and beyond, that would be great.

And I said, you know what?

I want to go above and beyond.

So this is me going above and beyond.

This doesn't look like above and beyond to me.

This looks like two punishment payoffs, I've been told.

Yeah, it is.

Good job, Bill.

What do you mean it is?

On top of the three trees I planted instead of one, I'm like now plus three or plus four, I think, in terms of punishment payoffs.

Greg, he doesn't look anything like Ted Lasso.

That's not a Ted Lasso.

I don't have to.

I just have to be positive.

Well, first of all, I'm impressed that

I've seen you in about a week.

In one week, he was able to grow that mustache.

It's fantastic.

And I thought it was Paul Skeens from the Pirates when I first saw him.

Thanks, Craig.

Good reference.

Good baseball talk.

You took the first pitcher to have an ERA under two, and I don't know how many years with that many stars.

I can't believe that you made a baseball reference and, furthermore, a Pittsburgh Pirates reference.

I mean, the playoffs are here.

Let's go.

America's pastime.

Woo!

You don't sound great.

Very positive.

So, Billy, your job today is just to be relentlessly positive.

Jeremy, you're overseeing the punishment.

He's doing a great job.

Yeah, I don't think he's doing a great job.

Are they happening, Dan?

Did they happen at all last year?

Are they happening?

Well, I don't think that Billy is actually doing a punishment.

Well, you said you were hiring Eudonis Haslam as an enforcer.

And until I have that, I'm just trying to get punishments off the ground.

Dan, you don't think Billy having to be positive for an entire show is a punishment?

Yeah, that's a giant punishment.

That's tough.

Wait till we get into FSU week.

It is.

I would love to see how he spends that.

It is.

What a game, huh?

It is.

They tried their best.

The college game day almost came they tried their mightiest there but man virginia what a team huh it is a punishment for him to have to be positive it just doesn't look like ted lasso and i don't understand uh how it is that he got away with not doing a costume and is telling me saying to my face that he's serving four punishments by just pasting a mustache to his how does this work if he says like a single negative thing does he have to redo it a different day

yeah you've got to do it correctly let's keep an ear out out.

Let's keep an eye out and an ear.

Yes, just an ear and a single eye out on Billy and make sure to keep an eye on him on this because

he will gravitate toward negative, even though he's usually a little more positive when Cody's in.

Do you have a Back in My Day, Greg?

Back in My Day?

That's funny.

No, I don't, as a matter of fact.

I wrote the book.

I wrote the book on Back in My Day.

So you have just officially quit doing these?

Unofficially, I would call it.

Yeah, not officially.

There's been no statement from my team.

Zasla, what are you shaking your head no about?

It's just once a week, man.

Why can't you write it?

I enjoy it.

It's one of the things, it's one of the few things you do that I enjoy.

Wow.

What a left-handed compliment.

This is the Don Labatar Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

I'd like Homer Greg Cody's thoughts on that game last night.

Three terrible teams played last night, and one decent one played last night.

I believe the Broncos and Chargers have closed a good deal of the gap with the Chiefs.

But what were your thoughts, Greg Cody?

Homer Greg Cody, you thought the Dolphins this year were going to get to eight wins.

Eight or nine, actually.

They have a lot of games against bad teams, but they themselves are a bad team, and they played a terrible one last night.

Not they played a terrible game.

The Jets team is awful.

Yeah.

Terrible.

Easily the worst team in the league.

I thought it was the Dolphins.

Jets are easily the worst team in the game.

They played one of the worst games I've seen anyone play this season when you consider a defense that I think is historically bad.

And the Dolphins caused three turnovers when they hadn't caused any turnovers all season.

And what they have, 14 or 15 penalties?

Like, this is a Jets team.

I remind you, the Jets did something this offseason or during training camp I've never seen.

On a Sunday, they had off without the coaches.

They went and they had a practice with no coaches where it was just the players.

Can you imagine how many penalties and turnovers they would have had if not for that practice?

Because they looked like an amateur outfit last night.

They had over 100 yards in penalties.

Oh, it was terrible.

Yeah, they're in tank mode now.

Aaron Glenn, even Aaron Glenn, had no cause to dance along the sideline last night because it was a terrible performance.

They handed Miami the victory.

Overriding everything, of course, is Tyreek Hill's injury.

In the post-game press conference,

they were all talking about that injury.

Mike McDaniel was five minutes into his press conference before he was even asked, hey, how about that win?

Because the win didn't matter.

It was a Pyrrhic victory.

And I think that it's emblematic of the season that they finally win a game and they can't really celebrate because Hill just had a gruesome, very likely season-ending injury.

So, you know, they have Carolina next.

They can be two and three for what that's worth.

You're doing that already?

Yeah.

You're counting wins.

I am.

You trust them to win a road game.

I don't trust them.

I think they're capable of it.

Well, of course.

I mean, okay, I don't think they are.

I wouldn't say that for a lot of road games.

I don't think they are because I believe that first drive of the Jets is what every team is going to, every competent team is going to gut them running the ball like that.

Yeah, their defense was just terrible.

They were lucky to win.

They were lucky to play the Jets.

They were lucky to be gifted three turnovers.

It was not a great victory.

When you get three turnovers at home and don't turn the ball over at all, and the last couple of minutes of the game is tense because the other team's only behind by six, that's not a good victory.

It was weird where it was the middle of the second quarter and it felt like the Jets were doing whatever they wanted offensively.

They were running the ball all over the Dolphins.

And then you look at the score.

How they only three points?

Yeah.

They were doing whatever they want.

It's like, all right, I guess it's okay.

It was 10-3 at the half, which stunned me.

Also stunning me is that pot-bellied Nick Folk is still in the league and kicking field goals longer than he ever has during that game.

That's a career long for Nick Long, for Nick Folk, and Nick Folk has been kicking since the 1800s.

For him to have a 58-yard field goal in that game,

the Jets fumble at the goal line.

The Jets give the Dolphins the ball immediately as they start the second half on the kickoff.

Like, it was just unbelievable to watch how bad the Jets were.

I was texting a friend updates of the game because he was out and so he wanted me to send him updates.

And like every update was Jets fumble.

Dolphins recover.

Jets get sacked.

Dolphins recover.

Like he must have thought I was messing with him, that they weren't real updates.

What year are you and your friend living in that he can't update himself?

You know what?

I didn't bother.

Like I thought it's like, hey, I'm out doing this.

You know, can you send me updates?

And of course I'm going to do it because he's my friend, but it's like the same amount of time it takes you to pick up your phone and look at the text message, you could just open up the ESPN app and see the score of the game.

It's weird.

Does your friend not have internet?

Like, why does he need to update the person?

Personally, from you that sound like Roy's Twitter account.

But he's my friend, so I'm going to do the thing he's asking.

Yeah, I think the focus here is Zazich's a really good friend.

Yeah.

I know, but the friend is like really backward.

I'm surprised your friend didn't say, could you write me a letter and let me know how the dolphin is?

And send it with a bird.

Have a bird carry it to where it is that I am.

But let's talk about this injury here for a second because I thought Tyreek Hill's reaction was at the very least unusual, where he's leaving the field and he's smiling and it seems like a forced smile.

He's blowing kisses.

He's on a cart.

If you want to put up the photo,

I warn you guys, it's gruesome.

And I put it up right as the warning was coming.

When I saw Tyreek Hill on the sideline, just he was

motionless on the sideline.

And when I saw his leg going in the wrong direction, it was fairly immediate that you can doctor diagnose.

You said might be out for the season.

No, he's absolutely out for the season.

And that's the end of his Dolphins career.

Like, that's that, that also obviously ends his trade value as well.

The Tyreek Hill era is over in Miami.

And what they got out of it was an exciting season and a half of offense and no playoff wins.

Right.

Yeah, I don't think that's a stretch to say that his season is over.

Given his age, given his reliance on speed, it was a gruesome injury, not just the dislocated kneecap, but an ACL ligament damage.

We don't know yet whether there's nerve damage, which would be really, really bad as well.

But yeah, I mean, I feel bad for Tyreek.

He was having a very good game.

He was showing signs of having a better season than last year.

And it's just, it's terrible.

I feel bad.

That was the spirit in Tyreek, though.

I don't think that was a fake smile.

I think that was him, you know, the first thing he said to Mike McDaniel on the sideline before he was hospitalized was, make sure our guys win this.

You know, he was thinking of the team.

I think he went out

on a high note for such a gruesome injury.

It was a really gruesome injury.

It was really disturbing, right, Billy?

I mean, I think what it really showed us was his true character and spirit on the field.

You know, not necessarily on the field.

Man, what a leader.

Did you see that?

Yes.

He didn't want to be a game.

Punching players in the face before the game, including Tua.

Let's play the sound of Tua here, who had his cliches ready until he realized halfway through the cliché that

Tyreek Hill was injured and injured in a way that would echo throughout their post-game.

Because

if you had any hope for the Dolphins season, it dies there.

What they got from Darren Waller last night is not something they'll be able to get very much more without Tyreek Hill as a threat.

That offense is going to be neutered no matter how many tackles A-chan breaks.

And A-chan's been great this year, running very hard for them.

Can I just add really quick before you show that?

I understand what you're saying, that you're not going to be able to get this out of Waller anymore because you don't have Tyreek Hill anymore.

They pay Jalen Waddell to be a top guy.

Okay, so

I'm not trying to minimize Tyreek Hill's absence here going forward, but Jalen Waddell is supposed to be a top guy.

They pay him to be a top guy, and they literally drafted him in a spot to be a top guy.

I could not agree with Zazmoore.

He has the ability to be a WR1.

He has the speed.

He's not Tyreek fast, but Jalen Wallace is a very fast receiver.

He's above average speed.

He should be able to be the guy now who stretches the field and opens it up for the tight end.

I think his role doesn't change.

I think you're going to see Malik Washington step more into the Tyreek.

Why did you call him WR1?

Why did you do that?

You know, I'm an NFL insider.

You know, that's all the lingo.

That's the lingo we use.

Is it quicker just to say wide receiver?

I think Waller could get 27 yards again in a game.

Two touchdowns.

You think he's going to be a two-touchdown?

I think he's going to get 27 yards again in a game.

Let's play the.

Well, the number for him yesterday was 11.5 yards over under in the game.

That's how little the expectations were for him.

Zaslow crushed Waller, and Waller's going to be on the show with us at some point today because that was a really nice return for Darren Waller.

It's a nice story as well.

He's holding the ball on the onside kick at the end after scoring two touchdowns but let's play the sound of Tua when he went to some of his go-to cliches and he realized in the middle of it oh and we've got a pretty major injury all glory belongs to God my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ just want to thank him for this victory for us keeping us safe for the most part

For the most part.

Doing a lot of work there.

Like, when would he have not included for the most, like he said, okay, for the most part, would he have left for the most part out if someone died?

Would that have been like

there are only two injuries injuries last night that the Dolphins could have suffered that would have felt quite like that?

And they got one of them that felt like that.

And I thought they were going to get the second when Tua's sliding and they're going after his head and getting an unsportsmanlike penalty for going after his head.

Yeah, he sold that.

That was Kiko Mawanoa, though.

Yeah.

Former Kane.

Tua came up smiling, which was good.

Keeping us safe for the most part.

Guy's career might be over.

I mean, his dolphin career is over.

He's not wrong.

Most of the guys did leave the game healthy.

Yeah, I do think that.

All right.

I don't want to be.

I'll be that guy, I guess, briefly.

It was a very strange reaction.

I'm with you, man.

I thought his reaction was

a little bit disturbing.

I saw a guy who's got some odd thoughts going on in his head and felt, oh my gosh, people like me for this moment.

I feel like, that's what I saw.

I saw a guy of like, oh, my God, you actually, thank you so much.

Like, I want so badly to be loved.

I mean, there are.

That's what I saw.

There are certain people that undergo traumatic experiences and their first reaction is to laugh.

Like, that is their emotion.

But I don't know.

It was just, it was weird.

It was like Antonio Brown vibes.

I have to agree that he was laughing instead of crying

because he knew more than anybody, this isn't just a bad injury.

I'm out for the season.

This is

probably the end of my career.

I don't think that's over-exaggerating to say that.

I don't criticize him for not weeping.

I don't think we're criticizing.

We're more just like

acknowledging that it was bizarre.

It was just a little bizarre.

I thought it was fairly normal.

And the psychology you alluded to is accurate.

Sometimes you smile instead of crying.

You don't want to show your real emotion, so you have a forced smile.

Greg, when you say that reaction is normal, I've never seen it from someone on a cart blowing kisses to the crowd, waving and smiling.

Fist pumping.

It's legitimately something I've never seen from a guy being...

Look at how neighbors left left the field.

It's usually towel over the head.

It seems like they're crying.

Sure.

Yeah, I know that he was devastated inside.

He's trying to put on the best face possible for his team.

I really believe that.

You know, he doesn't always come off like a team player and a leader.

That's an understatement.

But I think in the matter of last night and the way he went off that field,

I think that was leadership.

What does Zen give you?

Not just smoke-free nicotine satisfaction, but real freedom.

Freedom to do what you love and choose your rewards.

With Zinn Rewards, you can redeem points for premium tech, outdoor gear, and gift cards to your favorite retailers.

Find your Zinn and keep finding rewards that fit your lifestyle.

At zinn.com slash rewards.

Warning.

This product contains nicotine.

Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

Hey, Jeremy, old buddy, old pal.

Hey, Mike.

I want to talk to you about Miller Life.

You and I have bonded over these last few weeks talking about our shared love of Miller Life.

That's right.

A great partner of our show for practically its entire existence.

It's been a partner of this show since I was 10 years old.

And it's been around for 50 years, and they've been a part of our show for almost 20.

We're approaching incredible partner status with Miller Light.

I mean, to think that people were celebrating at my bar mitzvah with Miller Light as they were a partner of this show is pretty incredible.

You're talking about the moments that are made better by making those times, those special times, Miller time.

Jeremy, there's nothing like cracking open Miller Light with your crew.

This football season, it's especially true.

Whether it's a touchdown you didn't see coming, or just arguing about fantasy lineups you already know you're going to lose, Miller Light has been the taste you can depend on for 50 years, brewed for flavor with simple ingredients, rich toffy notes, that iconic golden color, and here's a kicker, Jeremy.

What's that?

It's just 96 calories.

I still can't believe that.

We say it every week.

I can't believe it.

It's just 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

It's the original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Miller Light, great taste, taste, 96 calories.

Go to millerlight.com/slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere.

They sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

Hey, it's Tony from the Dan Levitat show, and I gotta tell you something that makes me feel a lot safer with my wife and kid at home.

It's simply safe.

Most security systems only react after a break-in.

And that's too late, if you want to be honest.

Real security stops crime before it even starts.

I just watched a video that was absolutely terrifying.

An arson is trying to light a family home on fire.

And you know what?

SimplySafe stopped it before anybody got hurt.

Their AI-powered camera spotted the threat, alerted the monitoring agent, and the intruder got confronted while still outside the house.

That's what I call real security, pre-security, not post-security.

I trust SimplySafe with my home, my family, and everything I care about.

No hidden fees, no long-term contracts.

And they've been named one of the best home security systems by U.S.

News for five years running.

Right now, Levitard Show listeners can get 50% off a SimplySafe system at simply safe.com/slash DLB.

That's simply safe.com/slash DLB.

Try it risk-free with their 60-day money-back guarantee and see why I trust them so much.

There's no safe like Simply Safe.

Don Lebatard.

My wife says this is a sexy voice.

It really is.

Yeah.

I'm hard.

Thank you.

Wow.

Stugats.

So am I, actually.

I don't know why.

This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

I got a text from a friend of mine that says,

With so many dangerously dumb things happening, where do you rank Tua refusing to wear the extra protective head wrap over his helmet?

I have it at the 27th dumbest thing, right after having TV commercials for prescription drugs and before the meta glasses.

Tua should be.

That is strictly aesthetics, right?

That is, Shaq refused to shoot free throws underhanded, even if he could shoot him 90%, because he says I'm not doing that.

That's only aesthetics that is the reason that Tua won't wear extra protective on his head, correct?

I recall Chris Nowinski, who once a live sitting around waiting for head injuries, Newinsky.

Potential manslaughter, saying that it would actually work against what's wrong with Tua, because it would make the helmet a little heavier.

Yeah.

Am I the only one that questions?

I don't think Shaq would have shot 90% if he shot underhanded.

No, that's crazy.

He made them all in practice.

I'm just saying that even if he shot 90%,

he said he would not do it.

Even if I guaranteed him 90%, he said he would not do it underhanded because he would not be seen in public shooting free throws at that size.

A guarantee of 90%.

You should definitely do it.

The science on these helmets still needs to get a little bit better.

They look goofy.

I mean, Dobbs is out there having three touchdowns, and I'm just thinking on my couch.

I'm like, this guy's not good.

They look like clown helmets.

They look like those exaggerated caps that people wear that are like this big.

It's a bizarre look.

It's ridiculous.

It's a bizarre look.

I can totally understand why someone, like, aesthetically, I just can't do it.

The science needs to come a little further.

And also, if you have a helmet that has like flints in it, it just looks bad.

Do you think that, because there was a receiver wearing it last night, I think I saw, right?

Yeah, I mean, Dobbs caught three touchdowns in him.

Do you think the other players in the logo?

Like, do they make fun of that guy?

The other guys in the logger room?

I mean, it's a weird thing to look funny.

It's stupid.

I mean, it doesn't look right.

And it looks weird.

Okay, and you guys are funny doing this particular thing where you're like, where you're saying out loud, you're saying, well, if it does help you, you have to do it.

And I yesterday had the conversation with you guys talking about the fact that Wake Forest went for two to win the game against Georgia Tech.

Wake Forrest, by the way.

Wake Forest at home is going for the win in a tie game with a two-point conversion.

And we talked about Tom Osborne, who had the choice between winning

or tying the game against Miami and getting the championship or going for two and not getting the championship.

And you all argued, you all argued that given the choice between winning a game or winning a championship, you're going for winning the game.

I think he was right.

Okay, but think about what you're saying.

In what other instance would you say that I'd rather win just one game and not the championship?

I'm choosing to, my choice is I can either win a game or get the championship championship if I just kick the extra point.

No, but winning the game wins you the championship.

You're leaving that part out.

If you lose the game, do you win the championship?

I'm confused by this scenario.

Nebraska.

That's a great question.

I'm just a little confused.

Nebraska went for two and lost the championship.

And if they'd gone for the tie, they would have won the championship.

And you guys chose the game.

You guys are continuing to say that that was the right decision.

No, because I won both.

I won the game and the championship.

Okay, but your choice was you can either tie the game and win the championship or you risk losing the championship and they lost the championship.

And you're saying that's the right decision when you wouldn't make that argument in any other circumstance if I gave you the choice between what's more important, winning a game or winning the championship.

I think that's a good call by Tom Osborne.

I don't think history has second-guessed that.

Certainly Kenny Calhoun thought it was a good call because his fingertip lives in glory.

Tying a game to to win a championship doesn't feel like winning a championship.

Unless you're the Cowboys, because they won that tie.

You say history

looks favorably on Osborne.

He lost the championship.

What history would look favorably on is Nebraska would forever have had the championship.

Right.

That's true, but he gets credit for, you know, having, you know, big

balls.

Yeah.

Yeah, big footballs.

He gets credit for that.

Balls move.

Yeah.

I mean,

he could have kicked an extra point, tied the game, and then lost an OT.

And then what?

I don't think they had OT back then.

I think it was a tie.

Correct.

No, not in the championship.

No, they didn't have OT.

It wasn't a championship.

It would have been a tie.

It was a bowl game.

Well, that's back when they didn't actually have championships, and voters just decided.

Well, that's a bad call by college football.

Got to get that right retroactively.

Thank you for that.

You're welcome.

I enjoyed talking about 1984 as both of our.

I just started it.

I did.

It was a real roundabout way to really dig into how goofy these Guardian caps look.

I know, they look terrible.

I wouldn't wear one.

They look like a cartoon.

They look like somebody in a cartoon, Elmer Fudd, would be wearing a helmet that big, just so other cartoon characters could laugh at him.

The technology just, I predict that in a year, like next season,

they're going to get that right.

And they're going to have extra protective helmets that don't look like ridiculous extra protective helmets.

Well, why wouldn't they have that now then if they could do that?

Well, that's a good question.

You know, I'm not a scientist.

Oh, okay.

good thanks for clearing that up yeah yeah people mistake me for one but i'm not and i don't blame two for not worrying when there are so other so many other ways to avoid concussions okay you you dump the ball you intentional ground it you run out of bounds there's a million different ways not to get a concussion in my opinion you guys are really out here arguing You got to look good instead of brain safety.

And furthermore, furthermore, you're going, don't trust the science, even though, and that's fair to say we're in the early part of the science, and it's a violent game, and I don't know what actually protects you from concussions, but what they have out there is helmets.

that while they don't look good, are being worn because they add additional brain safety.

And you guys are saying, no, I'd rather look good.

Well, I mean, it's not us saying it.

The players are saying it, but also like the players, when you've asked them about it, a lot of them say it weighs more.

It throws off my balance slightly.

And even if it's just a millisecond, like that's the difference between, like, for a running back, a gap closing, and then you can't break a big play.

So they've chosen not to do so.

Which is what Kristen Winsky, who I think we can all admit, knows more about this than any of us, said into his case.

It doesn't necessarily help.

I have seen prototypes of these Guardian caps that do look a little bit more streamlined, and I imagine they're still in the testing phase.

And I do think the science will come a long way.

Like, we had leather helmets at one point.

I imagine

that's how science usually goes.

But right now, it looks goofy.

It looks like it slows you down.

It does add additional weight weight and stress to the neck.

And there are also other ways.

There's also experimental ways.

I don't know if you guys have ever seen Dalton Schultz, but they have those woodpecker collars that also protect against concussions.

Aesthetically, there are different options for players.

Yeah, and helmets used to be made out of turtle shells.

In the case of a quarterback, especially...

You need to feel comfortable back there.

You can't have the feeling of a giant helmet sloshing around on your head.

You need that economy of movement up there

and the lightness of the helmet, not extra weight.

And to Billy's point, the players are choosing this.

I understand Dan wants to have this discussion and make us all the bad guys and project on us.

No quarterback has ever chosen to wear this.

It's on them.

It's their decision.

It ain't mine.

Right.

By the way, Tua looked really good last night.

I don't trust football players on choosing safety.

You can't trust yourself to choose their body over them choosing their body.

Like, you can feel passionately about it.

It's not my choice.

They're speaking for themselves.

None of them are choosing to be.

A-chan also last year wore it for a little bit after he had had concussion because his mom told him to wear it.

And he doesn't seem to be, unless I'm misremembering, he doesn't seem to be wearing it this year.

So at some point, he just decided not to wear it anymore.

I simply find interesting that you guys are choosing aesthetics over brain safety.

It's not me.

It's not me.

Stop putting it on my

brain.

It's not simply aesthetics, though.

They've said, and they have chosen in trying to wear it.

Like we spoke to Austin Eckler last year, who said it's just heavier and it throws my game off.

Yeah, you're doing a straw man right now.

The NFL has decided pretty overwhelmingly that anybody wearing that cap is an outlier at this time.

Straw man!

My point is simply that if I'm thinking first of safety, the people I'm going to least consult are people who have chosen a career in football.

as what they want to do with their life and their body.

I'm trusting them less than I am the average human being.

So you're no longer an ally of pro-choice here.

Body autonomy.

I mean, based on your logic, why don't we require every football player to wear a giant funny helmet?

Okay.

Greg, have you seen the prototypes?

I don't know if you've looked into it because you're, I mean, you look great.

You're a slightly advanced age, but like with that comes experience and knowledge.

Sure.

So I don't know if you've looked into it.

Have you seen

there's like a product that's catered towards the elderly folk?

Not that you're one of them, but maybe as you're getting closer to that, where it's if someone falls, their clothes kind of turn into like an airbag, and then all of a sudden it just opens up right before they hit the ground

and then that stops them from falling and hurting themselves.

I wonder if maybe players that are susceptible to concussions have considered having the airbag clothes where when they get hit the airbag goes off and their head never hits the ground.

He falls down he's looking like the stay puff marshmallow man.

Yes, that's an excellent idea.

It really is.

Who's the in addition to the stay puff marshmallow guy?

Who's the is it Goodyear?

Michelin.

Michelin that has the big tire-shaped guy.

Yeah, that's what football players need.

They should all dress like the Michelin man so that there's no real contact.

When you tackle the guy, he just literally bounces off you and hopes he bounces in the right direction.

That's what football is becoming under Lebatard's regime.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard show.

Were football helmets indeed once made out of turtle shells?

Because I don't think you have it accurate.

I know that Mike Ryan said leather helmets.

I thought that was going back far enough.

Look it up.

Jeremy, would you do me the favor?

I'm busy doing your show.

I've been trying to.

I can't find any proof, but I also can't find anything outside of artificial intelligence telling me that it's not the case.

So I'm going to try to find something detailing the fact that it's a myth.

Yeah, let's believe artificial intelligence, which has a little line under everything saying this may contain inaccuracies.

And when I say turtle shell, you know, if I'm being legit, I may have misspoken.

I think it might have been tortoise shells, small tortoise shells, because turtle shells, turtles tend to be very small.

You know, some turtles are like this.

Okay, if you end up being right, no one's going to hold that against you.

What are the differences between turtles and tortoises?

Tortoises tend to be bigger.

You know, tortoises tend to be, you know, that size, you know, like helmet size.

Because when you're wearing a shell, a living shell, formerly living shell, on your head, it needs to be a certain size.

If you put a turtle shell on your head, it might look more like a yarmulke or something.

So you have to be careful.

Jeremy just told me that the differences between turtles and tortoises is that turtles live in the water and tortoises live on land.

So it's not a size thing.

Well, it is a size thing as well, of course.

Well, but it's not, of course,

according to Jeremy, who's looking it up because you said like Stugatz does with his move of look it up and then you're wrong and someone looks it up.

We've had Ron McGill on this show for 15 years.

Tortoises generally larger than turtles.

And that's not why they're a difference.

person.

Well, it's because they're a sized part of it.

I understand.

Just like offensive linemen are bigger than quarterbacks, this is what we're talking about.

There's actually a species called the giant tortoise.

I mean, why are we arguing?

Get my kid on the phone.

I don't understand.

Dan's assault on science today is just really confounding.

I mean, tortoises are bigger than turtles.

Does that mean that there's a tortoise living who's smaller than the biggest turtle?

You said helmets were made out of turtle shells, then you change it to tortoise shells.

Neither one of them is right, and none of the information you've given so far is right, except that the jets stink and that you shouldn't be too happy about that victory if you're a dolphin fan, because the injury that happened there is the injury that you cannot have.

There are only two the dolphins cannot abide.

You ever try to name all your financial accounts and their balances, 401ks, investments, properties?

I can barely remember what I had for lunch, let alone all that stuff.

That's why I started using Monarch Money.

It's an all-in-one finance tool that pulls everything together, your accounts, budgets, goals, into one clean dashboard on your phone or laptop.

And let me tell you, it was a wake-up call.

I found a 401k from some job I forgot existed and it wasn't some small change.

Ended up being a nice little chunk of change there for the boy.

I realized that I had cash just sitting there doing nothing in my investments.

Not as smart as I thought it was.

Monarch makes all that obvious and actually feels doable.

No spreadsheets, no hobby between apps, just a real clear view of my money.

You can even share with your partner or financial advisor.

No more wait.

Let's see how much we spent on that coffee or that takeout.

Monarch puts everything on the table.

Literally, don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks.

Use code DAN at MonarchMoney.com in your browser for half off your first year.

That's 50% off your first year at monarchmoney.com with code DAN.

Crack open Hampton Farms Inshell Peanuts for the crunch you crave.

Try their salted, unsalted, and Cajun hot nuts with 7 grams of protein per serving, more than any other nut.

Hampton Farms Inshell Peanuts are 100% USA grown and a great snack for game day.

Find Hampton Farms in the produce section of your local grocery store or online at HamptonFarms.com.

Get nutty with Hampton Farms Peanuts, the official snack nut of the tailgate.

The family that vacations together stays together.

At least, that was the plan.

Except now, the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm your connecting rooms.

Wait, what?

That's right, ma'am.

You have rooms 201 and 709.

No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.

The doors have double locks, they'll be fine.

When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay.

Welcome to Hilton.

I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed.

Hilton, for this day.

Don Lebatard.

Yeah, very good.

Imagine if someone told you you couldn't have a Corvette.

Stugats.

I'm a grown-ass man who's not

filthy rich.

I can't afford a Lamborghini.

Well, I probably can, but that's.

Hey,

Craig,

no way.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Are you with me on the fact that I believe that this defense is historically bad?

It was terrible last night against a bad offense.

The Jets ran all over.

Other than, it's ridiculous to say, but other than that 43-yard touchdown run, they contained Justin Fields pretty well.

He didn't have a great night passing, but they were just unstoppable on the run.

I think the Jets ran for 200 yards.

Yeah, it's a really, really bad defense, and they have to score 27-plus points to have a shot.

He threw for 50 more yards than Tua, Justin Fields.

Did he?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Dan, you're forecasting, right?

Because they are not yet the worst defense in the league.

I think you have to be the worst defense in the league to then stay claimed to historically bad.

Like, from counting sets to DVOA, they are not bottom.

I think in DVOA, they are like fifth from bottom.

They're actually getting better.

They gave up 33 points, 33 points, 31.

So you can 21.

I just want to be clear.

Like, you're making a prediction.

You think it's going to be the bottom is going to fall off.

Well, it's not just the bottom is going to fall off.

It's that they allowed 19 straight drives.

without making a stop.

They've only played outside of the bills, bad offenses.

And

the next next step that I'm taking on this is that when I'm watching what it is that they are doing defensively, being gutted and allowing these nine-yards a carry on defense and their hurt on top of that,

I'm watching a team that I don't have any confidence in.

And I'd go a step further on this.

I didn't think when they're up 3-0 and it's fourth and goal from the five.

I don't think that they're going for it because Mike McDaniel is ballsy.

It's because he knows his defense is bad.

And 6-0 doesn't help you because he knows they're going to go right down the field because they can't actually stop people.

I mean, that could be true, but going back three years ago in Mike McDaniel's first and second year as coach and the defense was fine, like he was going for that fourth.

Why didn't he, that first drive, though?

He's just like, I need points out of this.

I can't have the booze if we don't get it here.

Because he did take it that first drive.

He's just like, I'll take the points.

Zaz, fourth and goal from the five is still in that league.

With everyone, including Dan Campbell, it's still kicked.

I thought that's a reaction to I know how that first drive just went for the Jets.

I know they drove right down the field.

I know they kept just handing the ball off.

Why would he trust his defense?

It's not just bad.

It's also injured.

You know what?

Like,

you made a good case.

You're probably right there.

And it's a little bit pathetic that early in the game, the Dolphins are then saying, we have to get touchdowns to beat the Jets.

Look, there is nothing that suggests that Turtleshell was the NFL helmet.

I've gone through a slideshow here on NFL.com of every single helmet from the beginning of the NFL all the way through today.

There was fibershell technology, which is what's used in like bicycle helmets these days, but nothing suggesting that.

Greg, what you might be thinking of is that they referred to the sort of cap/slash helmet that was worn by the British soldiers in World War II as turtle shell helmets.

So you might just be getting those two things confused.

You know, anytime we refer to something that goes back 100, 120 years, it's difficult to get an exact read on it.

There are no witnesses who wore a turtle shell helmet in the NFL.

So, you know, yin and yang, you know,

he said, she said.

It's hard really, I think, a month into the season with the sample to tell exactly what the Dolphins' defense is, but just for added context, they played the Patriots who are exactly middle of the pack in offense.

Now, they could be middle of the pack because one of their games came against the Dolphins.

The Jets is the worst defense.

The Patriots all scored, what, 42 this past weekend, I think, right?

Yeah, they look good.

I know they were playing Carolina, which is a weird team.

The Jets are easily the worst offense they've played so far, but the other half of their games, two of the top three offenses in the league in Indianapolis and Buffalo.

Yeah, I agree with that take, and I think it's also fair to say, although they were gifted the win last night against a bad team, I do see progress from game one to game two to game three to last night.

They had Tua look good.

A-chan looked good.

They had a 96-yard drive.

They had their best drive of the season.

I believe by the end of this season, this will be the Dolphin defense, the worst we've ever seen by the end of the season.

Okay, crystal clear on that.

I do think that you go out and get a Minka Fitzpatrick to mitigate some of your deficiencies on defense.

I recovered that fumble.

Yeah, because that's how you do it with turnovers.

You can have a defense that's bend, that even breaks occasionally, but if they make an impact play on defense and get the ball back, those are huge ways to mitigate some of your deficiencies.

Let me explain what happened this weekend with the Giants, for example, a limited offense that lost their best receiver.

The Giants had,

I think it was 40 runs and 20 passes to protect their quarterback and to trust their defense.

They kept the ball away from Justin Herbert.

The reason that I have fear about the Dolphins is because through a month in this season, I have never seen a Dolphin defense that you can just hand the ball to the running back and it's going to be second and one every time.

And what happened to the Jets last night is they kept getting into second and 15 and second and 20 because they had all these pre-snap penalties that made it so that they couldn't run the ball anymore.

They had to stop running the ball.

And Justin Fields made an impressive play on fourth and one.

That was actually stopped.

What was called was stopped.

But what you witnessed last night was one team was really poorly coached and the other one played a disciplined style of football.

And on the road, a terrible Jets team that had not won a game, had three turnovers.

had whatever it was 14 or 15 penalties and is still playing on the road at the end for the game as an 0-3 team and they had to abandon the run and if they had not had to abandon the run because their running back fumbled at the goal line with their first drive i feel like that game would have ended up looking like the colts game looked where you're just never getting a punt because they can just heat keep handing the ball off seven yards at a time because they're also hurt it's not just that they're bad that their corners are bad that they don't get much pass rush they're also hurt i'll tell you uh the jets Jets were terrible last night.

So much pre-snap penalties.

The fumbling is stupid.

A fair catch at the two-yard line.

I mean, what do we do?

Like, what's happening there?

But I'll tell you, the reaction that the coach is getting, Aaron Glenn,

after just four games, I understand.

It's a bad team and they certainly look poorly coached.

I'm a little bit surprised at how aggressive the reaction to Aaron Glenn taking over a bad Jets team and what they're saying about what this team looks like, and the new coach just for you.

I read a little bit surprised.

I read an ESPN.com piece about Aaron Glenn saying he's going to pay back Dan Marino.

And because Aaron Glenn was the corner on the spike play, and after the spike play, I think the Jets ended up losing like 33 of 36 games or something ridiculous.

And last night,

what you watched is the most

poorly coached game that I have seen this season from anybody.

And that's why the Dolphins won the game, because the Jets gifted it to them.

Sure.

Yeah, I don't know if you can blame coaching for three lost fumbles.

Maybe you can, but that was the reason for the loss.

But the Dolphins had to recover those as well.

To Mike's earlier point, for what this is worth, and it's not definitive, but there are six teams in the NFL giving up more points and more defensive yards than the Dolphins.

So when you say they're historically bad, that has not shown itself.

He's forecasting, which could be the case.

Look, this season, I don't have much hope despite the victory, and they just lost their best offensive weapon.

It can go off the rails, but I do think Dan has to be clear that he's forecasting because accounting, the Sats don't back it up just yet.

There are way worse defenses in the league.

Give them time.

I believe they will be worse than the defense that was 1 in 15 because of how they're getting gutted straight up the middle.

Just straight up the middle.

I've never seen it.

Through a month in the season.

I've never seen a Dolphin defense that can be run on that way.

And if they can be run on that way, then a team like the Giants can do something like hand the ball off 40 times to protect their quarterback and keep him just throwing the ball 20 times.

Are we hearing Kenneth Grant's name called at all?

Like, I get it.

He's a rookie, defensive tackle.

It's a really difficult position, but

should we be hearing it?

That's my gimmick.

Should we be hearing his name at all?

The first-round pick?

Yeah, you'd think so.

Because he supposedly had a good training camp.

I mean, he was awesome.

awesome.

They were raving about him.

He was awesome in school.

I just, I don't know, we don't see him.

They were raving about the whole front seven.

Yes, right.

And look, the front seven has a lot of good pieces.

You know, Joe had

been waiting.

Jalen Phillips, Zach Seiler, Brett.

Seeler is a good piece.

Whatever.

Seeler, Seiler.

Whatever.

He's been here for a long time.

He said she should.

It's such a weird

pronunciation.

It should be Siler, Seeler.

It should be.

I like Jalen Phillips.

I like Jalen Phillips.

I like him as a story.

Jalen Phillips is the king of almost.

He gets close a lot.

He's been getting close.

But, I mean, pressuring a quarterback, even if you don't get all the way home, that does impact the game big time.

Like,

he's still making contributions.

He looked bad to start the season.

I do think he's come on lately, which is hopeful considering the injury that he's had and he's recovering from.

Did you like the dolphin jerseys, the uniforms?

Did you?

No, that's part of why I'm wearing this right now.

I'm showing you what a real jersey looks like.

I think I look better in game action.

Oh, okay, hold on.

Let me clarify.

The jerseys look great.

They're just not Dolphins jerseys.

That's all.

They're not Dolphins colors.

They don't.

Who am I watching?

That's not the Dolphins.

The jerseys are really, really good looking.

I don't have a problem with what the jerseys look like.

They're just not dolphins jerseys.

Right.

It did not look like the Miami Dolphins last night, which is a good thing, because what we've seen of the way the Miami Dolphins look is not something that you want repeated.

This is what a Dolphins jersey.

You want to know know what a Dolphins jersey looks like?

Zoom in on me, right?

This is what it looks like.

That's the original throwback.

That's what it looks like right here.

No, it's not the original throwback.

That's the Dolphins.

This is a Dolphins.

This right here.

This is a Dolphins jersey.

This one.

It's a Hall of Famer.

Zach Thomas.

Should have been in a lottery sooner than he got in, but that's neither here nor there.

Where is it then?

It's where it's supposed to be.

Started looking at playoff scenarios for the Dolphins today, tiebreakers and such.

Yeah, because they're tied with the Ravens right now.

I don't know if you know.

However, the Ravens win the tiebreaker over Miami based on best win percentage in conference games.

The Texans also win the tiebreaker over Miami and Baltimore based on best win percentages in conference games.

And right now, the Raiders win the tiebreaker over Houston based on strength of victory.

Just one game back of the Cheese, though.

Yeah.

Hey, Jeremy, old buddy, old pal.

Hey, Mike.

I want to talk to you about Miller Light.

You and I have bonded over these last few weeks talking about our shared love of Miller Light.

That's right.

A great partner of our show for practically its entire existence.

It's been a partner of this show since I was 10 years old.

And it's been around for 50 years, and they've been a part of our show for almost 20.

We're approaching incredible partner status with Miller Light.

I mean, to think that people were celebrating at My Bar Mitzvah with Miller Light as they were a partner of this show is pretty incredible.

You're talking about the moments that are made better by making those times, those special times, Miller time.

Jeremy, there's nothing like cracking open Miller Light with your crew.

This football season, it's especially true.

Whether it's a touchdown you didn't see coming or just arguing about fantasy lineups you already know you're gonna lose, Miller Light has been the taste you can depend on for 50 years, brewed for flavor with simple ingredients, rich toffy notes, that iconic golden color, and here's a kicker, Jeremy.

What's that?

It's just 96 calories.

I still can't believe that.

We say it every week.

I can't believe it.

It's just 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

It's the original light beer since 1975 and still hitting different five decades later.

Miller Light.

Great taste, 96 calories.

Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere.

They sell beer.

It's Miller time.

Celebrate responsibly.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.