Hour 2: I'm Not Letting That Guy Beat Me (feat. Amin Elhassan and Jonathan Zaslow)

40m
"Who here has worn a butt plug?"

Zaslow joins the show from a river that he will definitely not die in, and Amin is here to deliver his Weekend Observations, including his Top 5 Things Colder Than Justin Fields. And there was some pretty great baseball over the weekend, huh?
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Transcript

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This is the Dan Labator Show with the Stu Gats Podcast.

How about that Mariner's Tigers game, huh?

Nobody cares.

Nobody cares

too much football.

Too much football.

You're finally speaking my language.

I'm ashamed to admit this.

My eyes got a little too heavy.

It was an exciting night at the front on.

I fell asleep because of all the

emotional drain that the Friday night match against Udonis Haslam's Renegades provided.

I heard that you had to make an executive decision that was very unpopular as a leader.

Dan, I got into a shouting match in the locker room with one of our players.

What?

Yeah.

For those that aren't following this amazing season that the Cyclones are having in Battle Court, top of the standings right now, first place,

we've had so many injuries.

Dan, we've had injuries to injury replacements.

So we had to go into this Friday without our best player, Manu, the captain, the legend, the greatest backquarter on the planet.

We needed emergency replacements, and yet we still got the dub.

However, watching this match play out, Inyaki, our tremendous front quarter, he pulled a bicep.

We had the match day secured thanks to the bravery of Robin.

And I made the call.

Where's the Gigolo?

Guys, the Gigolos there, like waiting in the wings if we need them.

But I made the call with a six and final match that was relatively meaningless for the Cyclones.

I said, we're going to go ahead and forfeit this match, guys.

We have the match day secured.

And Undo was not happy.

Really?

Undo was yelling at me.

Unda's like, you know how crazy I am?

I think about this sport six days a week.

I'm like, your math is a little off there, but he's like, I need to play.

You need me to play so I can get better.

I'm like, I concede that, but I'm not going to throw out Hyro for a third match when Imyaki's just torn his bicep a little bit.

I got Manu getting treatment.

We're a walking mash unit.

We're like, Undo, you can go, but we're trying to save.

Were you involved in the shouting too?

I was not there Friday.

I had a parlay, honestly.

I was anti-Mike.

I was like, let's, I was like, if you watch the broadcast, it was a little awkward because the players took the fronton for the, for match six, while the GM was saying we're not going to do that.

And they got to get pulled off the fronton.

And

that would be a national controversy if it happened in football.

That's a big controversy.

I like that competitive spirit and that fire from Unda.

Those were good sparks.

That is true locker room leadership.

Manu had my back, as a true captain does.

Boss, you made the right move.

I got complimented from the league office that said these players need a good GM to protect them from themselves.

We are first place, and we're not going to risk injury in match six.

You know why, Chris?

Because the standard is championship level.

Wow.

We need to win a Battle Corps championship here.

We need to, and that is the main thing.

My question for you: do you guys still have like the curtain of the locker room?

Yes.

That shares everybody's locker room?

Okay.

I understand.

So just to be clear.

Just to be clear, that's the end of the

longest winner-take-all baseball game in the history of Kingdom.

That's it.

That's all.

ALDS talk.

Yeah, I was watching Lions Chiefs.

I forgot all about this.

No, no, this wasn't.

This was like five days ago.

This was three days ago.

He was watching it, though.

This was Friday.

Remember, he's in France.

They also won yesterday.

Pretty cool.

Cal Raleigh.

They should have bunted Crawford earlier in that game.

It would have saved us all a bunch of sweat.

But now that concludes ALDS.

Who do you forfeit to?

Like, you just

have to

league.

I told league leadership.

Who's that?

Yeah.

The Savans.

The commissioner and the commissioner's daughter.

She works hard.

The league can't like a forfeit.

The league had my back.

This was the right call.

I mean,

this was the right call.

But this largely exists.

Someone in this room might have had a parlay and might have had different feelings about that.

We won't pull that curtain back.

Were the fans booing?

Scoobel struck out seven straight guys, and it's like he pitched a month ago by that time.

The thing ended up in extra innings.

Hold on a second.

You're a team owner, you're betting on your own team.

The toner.

He never bets against them.

Yep, always with us.

Well, allegedly.

No?

Trust me, I could show you the slip.

If you're betting against your own team, that's a controversy.

That's what I'm saying.

I never have.

Even betting on your own team, that'll get you out of the Hall of Fame.

S.P.

Road.

Well, you can't anymore, but you know what I mean.

Okay, Mike, I will argue that I will give you a stat from that game while you were falling asleep

on Friday?

Not the Unda taker, not the highlight.

The Lions game?

Cal Raleigh, in the game where they were playing all of this perfect baseball where none of the pitchers can be hit and all of the pitchers are getting out of first and second base for your season jams.

Cal Raleigh had, and I couldn't believe this when they said it.

They went out of the broadcast booth where, of course,

Adam Wainwright was there holding an actual baseball because he's got to be.

And he's sitting next to A.J.

Przinski, and both of them, as the game is going on, are getting more and more disheveled.

So that by the 15th inning, I really wanted them to lean into the cartoonish aspects of they look like they're a mess because this is exhausting.

But during that game, Cal Rowley had his first pass ball of the season.

Yeah, I saw that.

I couldn't believe that.

How do you play an entire season catching baseballs being thrown at 100 mile an hour by those weirdos and not have a pass ball all season?

How is that even possible?

He's a platinum glove winner.

He caught 17,000 pitches this season without a pass ball and hit 60 home runs.

The entire broadcast is just Adam Wainwright saying, I'm not letting this guy beat me.

How many that like we're running out of guys that can beat you here, pal?

And also, another observation.

Odd-looking team, the Mariners.

Josh Naylor straight up looks like a buccaneer, not a Tampa Bay Buccaneer, a swashbuckling buccaneer.

He looks like a musketeer if we want to go away from the seas.

Strange, strange-looking dude.

When you say that I'm not going to let this guy beat me, I did have a moment during yesterday's football that made me laugh.

It's at the goal line.

Baltimore twice goes tush-push.

Wow, look at that lava lamp shirt.

Is that what that is?

On birthday.

It was a vacuum cleaner.

It looked like a vacuum cleaner.

Let's really talk this out.

It's a vacuum cleaner.

Talk out everything it could be.

It's a Hoover.

I mean, it looks like a vacuum cleaner.

What do you think it is?

A lava lamp?

I don't know.

On Bird Christ.

I'm going to whisper in your ear, Dad, what it is.

It'd be a weird thing.

No way.

I mean, I don't know

that.

What do you not know?

What do you mean, no way?

It looks exactly like one of those cleaners.

You don't know what one of those would look like?

Vacuum cleaner?

No.

Hmm?

What are you looking at me?

What do you want me to say?

That apparatus?

Yeah.

I don't believe it's what it is alleged to be.

Oh, it is.

It's for the big dumper.

Ah, okay.

All right.

So if he had one of those, he wouldn't be the big dumper anymore.

Say it for the podcast audience.

Wait, what?

No, it's not to plug the poop.

I don't think he has any idea what a butt plug is.

Wow.

You tell me, Dan.

Oh, Dan.

Go on.

I don't think that you have any idea what that is.

But apparently you can.

But it's not something

enlightenment.

It is not to plug poop that's not what we're doing with that

dad i'm asking dan he's the expert well you're i'm not going to take a quiz so how about you tell us how about you tell us what that's what a modium was for

to clear it up or to keep it in a modium keeps it in no i don't know wait just to be clear you think like when you hear the word butt plug you thought it was to stop you think it's to stop the flow of what's coming out no what is it somebody tell me some people derive sexual pleasure pleasure.

What did you think?

Who here has worn a butt plug?

Wow.

Put that on the poll.

Your hand is up.

Do you classify it as well?

You just put your hand up.

Worn it?

Yeah, do you classify it as wearing a button?

I think we'll go ahead and clip that.

Used?

Maybe used one?

Who's used a butt plug?

In that baseball game between the Mariners and the Tigers.

My hand was up seeking other people

in concert with or just trying to find out.

I don't know that I have done that because I have not.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Unless there is.

I don't know.

Is it a good thing?

Is it a bad thing?

Teaching your own.

Only one way to find out.

I have no idea.

Maybe it's don't knock it till you try it.

There you go.

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Don Lebatard.

What do I got here?

I got a magnum condom.

We won't get that out.

That's shocking.

Stugats.

Here's a picture of Christopher when he was like three years old.

Right next to the condom.

Yeah.

He's got a shot.

That's a little reminder.

Yeah,

never forget it.

This is the Don Lebatar show with the Stugats.

Can you find for me the sound of the Tigers announcer after the game getting caught on a live mic saying, bleep this post-game show?

I don't want to do this post-game show because their season is over.

And when it is that Billy is pointing out

the idea of, as we're watching all of these games and thinking that other people can just recreate what these people are doing.

The Baltimore Ravens, twice, because you're sitting here when you're talking about this high-lie story, and you guys are saying from your executive suite, well, just do it this way.

This is the easy way to do it.

So, I watched the Ravens at the goal line.

They twice tried the tush-push, they failed twice.

And Tom Brady comes in helpfully and he just says, You know what I'm doing in this spot?

And he circles Derrick Henry.

I'm just giving it to this guy.

They did, and he lost three yards.

They couldn't do the, they couldn't do the, it was, it was comedy, okay, to have Tom Brady come in and see them not be able to get half a yard on a tush push twice.

And he's like, what are you doing?

Like, just give it to this guy.

And that guy lost three yards because everyone knew they were just going to give it to that guy because that offense can't do anything when Lamar Jackson's not out.

You got tripped up like five yards by the last career.

I was like, oh, that's funny.

But it got me to thinking because we were playing the Gronk sound, Chris,

when you think of what it is that you want from your announcers, because it's funny that Gronk is being used on a pregame show where all he can contribute is being the court jester Gronk.

He's not going to give you any good analysis, but he's going to be better than Brady.

Because at the very least, he will give you that.

He'll give you a couple of occasions where he'll simply give you this.

Like, Gronk is a hire as a broadcaster, truly awful.

However, If you just get this from him every month or so,

it's better than what you're paying Brady $375 million for, which is just to circle Derrick Henry and say, give it to this guy.

That's my expertise.

And Wainwright would be like, I'm not letting Derrick Henry beat me.

That's the point I was looking for.

It wasn't what Billy said, and it wasn't Hilai.

It was that point.

I'm not letting somebody beat me, was the point that you made.

And that's what Tom Brady was saying.

I believe everyone on earth knows that the Ravens aren't going to beat you at this point if they don't hand it to that human being.

Like, that's all they've got.

Wainwright predicted probably, I would bet in that game, 70 fastballs that were sliders.

Every single, I'm going fastball.

Oh, this one's going to be a fastball for sure.

And that just shows where the game is at.

But there was nothing as electric as in the 15th inning when Tommy Caneley comes in, and you've got Adam Amin absolutely losing his mind over 93 mile an hour fastballs.

Simply because Caneley only throws change-ups.

That's where we were in the game.

It was.

beautiful.

It is.

The level of play in that baseball game where every time a pitcher goes down in a 2-0 count, even if the bases are loaded, it's like, no, I'm going to throw some.

I'm not throwing a fastball here, even though I throw 100.

No, I'm going to put a 2-0 breaking ball on you.

And like, the pitching in that game was extraordinary.

And I couldn't believe that the Blue Jays, I thought for sure at the very least, you got to fly across the country after playing that game when you've done that to your bullpen, that the Blue Jays are going to club you over the head because you're not going to be able to get any pitching.

And then they win again yesterday.

And it starts with George Springer hitting a home run on the first pitch.

So you're you're like, all right, well, this is going to go horribly.

The Mariners threw 100 pitches.

They threw 99 pitches in ALDS game five after the eighth inning.

Can I get you guys interested in baseball with that or not?

I'm going to admit I went to bed after 14 innings.

No, I really didn't.

I kept watching and watching because it was a great game.

It was so compelling, so close, and great pitching.

And I'm just like, I can't stay up anymore.

I'm literally falling asleep.

This could go 19 innings.

I'm out.

Sorry.

Can you say something so compelling?

I'm falling asleep, right?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It happens.

That second seventh inning stretch, really, it's kind of like, all right, let's get this done already.

Right.

Yeah.

Is the story around Kansas City and Detroit going to be that Brian Branch fought Juju Smith-Schuster?

Like, is that what we're going to be talking about?

Like, is that what's eating up the news stream and how it is that people talk about these games?

Because at this point, the Chiefs are in the position when it's only news if they lose, right?

Like

it's not the big news if they win.

It certainly isn't people admitting they were wrong about them.

It's big news when they beat Detroit.

I mean,

and that stopped that mighty offense.

But Brian Branch, I predict, will be suspended for multiple games.

Multiple games?

Yes.

I think when you do that after the game,

it takes on a whole nother.

I just saw a whole lot of headlines, marred, marred, marred, marred.

And I'm like, what?

More violence broke out after the initial violence?

Like, more guys

fought and did, like, I sort of shrugged on, okay, gladiators got out of control.

Whatever, that happens.

Really?

Okay.

I'll be interested to see what the league does.

The league will do something.

But did it mar it?

Like, because I saw marred, marred.

Ugly scene.

Dan.

It was an ugly scene.

Yeah.

I mean, we're talking about it.

And that's the last thing the league wants.

You have two of your best teams playing in prime time, and now you're talking about a fight between two players, one saying he was bullied.

Ridiculous.

Embarrassing.

What is Zaz doing there?

Look at Zaz.

Zaz is looking in on us, haunting, a little bit of haunting.

Where are you, Zaz?

You've been missed.

You're traveling Europe.

You shouldn't be.

You've never traveled Europe before.

What are you doing?

Bonjour, everyone.

Bonjour.

You know what bonjour means?

Hello?

That's where I am.

I'm in Paris.

Hello.

Hello, Dan.

Bonjour.

What are you doing?

You just look like you're in a parking lot.

You can be in Tamarack.

Well, that's true.

I've said that several times on this trip.

What are we seeing here that I'd not see in Cooper City?

That's funny that you mentioned that.

My wife doesn't like when I say that.

But behind me is the river Seine.

You know about that river?

You may have heard it in the Olympics.

We're about to go on it.

We're going to go on a river cruise tonight.

Weren't people barfing in?

Like, didn't somebody die?

Yeah, but don't worry about that.

I'm not going to barf or die in this river.

What are you looking forward to?

What have been the highlights of your trip?

Saw the Mona Lisa today.

Got to see my girl in person.

That's right.

We toured the Louvre.

That's a very famous museum, Dan.

We toured that today, and we've seen all kinds of great stuff here.

Eiffel Tower yesterday went all the way up to the top.

You can't be skirt.

I went all the way to the very top of the Eiffel Tower.

It's very, very exciting, Dan.

I can't help but point out that today in America, we're celebrating Indigenous Peoples Day.

And you decided that that the best way to celebrate that was to leave and go to the continent of the colonizers.

I mean, look, sometimes you got to pick a side, right?

I don't know what to tell you.

Whoa!

I don't know what to tell you.

Let my boy cook.

Hold up.

That's a holiday spirit.

Let my boy cook.

And you didn't call it by its right name.

I saw an EO go out.

What's going on in sports, guys?

Is sports still happening while I'm away?

It's very tough keeping track with the time difference.

You know about the time zones, Dan?

I do.

Yes, the Lord's time zone.

They actually stopped all sports until you came back.

It's the craziest thing.

Did you have any sports opinions that you wanted to share before flying back in a hurry?

Are you here this week?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm flying back home tomorrow.

I'm coming straight to the studio Wednesday morning.

I miss you guys.

I'm excited to be there.

I don't like keeping all these sports takes to myself.

I haven't been able to see a single second of the Panthers because the games are at like 1 a.m.

over here.

Terrible.

If we were all in the Lord's time zone, it'd be so much easier to keep track of everything.

But I know the Panthers are 3-0.

I love them so much.

And I watched most of the dolphin game yesterday because that was like 7 p.m local time here no problem i saw most of it two uh three interceptions and then he questions the leadership in players only meetings which really sounds like he's questioning his own leadership so i don't know you explain that bullshit to me all right good seeing you any other sports opinions on your way out the door that you need to uh unleash because it can't wait till wednesday I mean, Aaron Glenn, you fake punt at the end of the first half, you pick it up, and then you sit on the ball and run out the clock.

Get the hell out of here.

You're not a head coach.

All right, very good.

Uh, see you on Wednesday, Z.

Uh, take us.

All right, thank you.

Uh, appreciate

he doesn't belong in Europe.

They shouldn't let him in Europe.

His family has to hate that, right?

Like, he keeps like, Well, we can't go on this river cruise yet.

You don't think all of France hates him walking around looking like an undercover cop?

Like, my gun hates it.

I'm embarrassing my kids.

My kids hate that I'm doing this right now.

They said, Dad, can you all walk like 10 minutes away?

I'm embarrassing them.

What's he embarrassed about?

Look at me.

I'm awesome.

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Don Lebatard.

My algorithm on Instagram is dance all boobs.

Stugats.

It's a good algorithm.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with with the Stugats.

Dan, it occurred to me earlier today, we were talking about this before the show.

We're in a bit of a pickle today.

I don't know if

you caught on to the fact that we're in a pickle here.

His movie theater sells pickles.

How much?

$2.99.

I can't even do his own.

He's gone.

Sorry, we can't play your pickle game with him.

He's gone.

We have to welcome him.

Hassan instead.

Maybe there'll be time for you to play your pickle game with Amin once he's done with his weekend observations.

Are you ready, Amin?

Or do you want to do pickles or you want to do weekend observations first?

No, it's a hell of a deal, but let's do weekend observations.

Yeah.

Amin also.

It's time for Amin to share his game notes.

No one in the media will tell you what happened better than my boy.

Amin.

The hat's too small.

That's part of it.

It's the style of the hat, too.

Officer, I don't have anything on me.

The hat is too small.

Where do I go around here to buy a bag of dope?

Where i get a butt plug around here

haircut days tomorrow fellas uh weekend observations is presented by miller light

dan

they said it was a wrap they said the magic was over they wrote him off and even though he got a pen a postcard and a stamp he never went to the mailbox

Because after 174 yards and one touchdown,

make no mistake, my boy Gino is back.

Got the win.

That's all that matters.

The most important stat of them all.

What was that?

What was that, Tony?

You just gave it to me.

My boy Gino.

With 174 yards and a touchdown, they beat the worst team in the league.

Hey, win is a win.

Get one in the win column.

That's all he got.

Just win, baby.

Off of that football weekend, you opened with Geno Smith?

Not throwing a pick.

That's the only thing he didn't do is not throw a pick.

Well, he did throw a a pick.

I just didn't mention it.

He did.

He did throw one.

It was a bad pick, too.

I was like, Gino, what are you doing?

You're in the red zone, Gino.

Come on.

Drake the quarterback

having as good a year as Drake the music artist had a bad year.

There can only be one

Drake.

I need a one, Drake.

Here's a first.

Kool-Aid lost to Booty.

You see that one there?

I did, yes.

Kool-Aid's a great name for a college football player.

So is Booty.

I've seen Booty

throughout the college experience.

There are generations of Booties.

Josh Booty.

He was the original.

There's no one I feel more sorry for than Brian Branch.

Not because he was bullied,

but because he admitted to being bullied.

And doing that in Man Campbell's world has to be a cardinal sin with giant repercussions.

Greg, you said multiple game suspension.

Is that what you said?

I think so.

Book it.

Yeah.

Giant repercussions.

There you go.

Dan Campbell.

Pete a giant.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I ruined it.

I stepped on it.

Dan Campbell, though.

Dan Campbell did call it inexcusable.

Like, he, like, I'm guessing Dan Campbell's not real happy with Branch this morning.

Yeah, can't be excused.

Giant repercussions.

Speaking of giant,

hey, Philly,

you got a dart in your neck.

We're gonna do this every week, folks.

Pull it up.

Dan?

You know what Cam Scatabu had for dinner Thursday night?

He had wings.

Oh, wings.

Yes.

Yeah, eagle wings.

Tender.

Ball right off the bone.

Dan asked if the Colts are haunted.

And Mike Ryan made an Ursai joke.

And nobody went with him on it.

Bad teammates.

Just like Tua.

Stay strong, Greg Cody.

Stay strong.

A whole lot of football to be played.

You know who a good teammate is?

Mike Ryan.

Thanks for the heads up on those World Cup tickets.

San Francisco, here I come.

Haynes King.

204 passing yards and one touchdown.

You know what that is, Dan?

I do not.

Solid.

Haynes King, 60 yards rushing in two touchdowns.

You know what that is?

Heisman,

best running quarterback in the nation.

How about that Georgia Tech yellow jackets, huh?

Calling Jackson, Smith, and Jigba

JSN

is the ultimate announcer cheat code.

Feels like a very dangerous name.

Be real careful around it.

Just say JSN, and no one will think twice.

$5,000 a week is a fraction of Nick Wright's gambling budget.

That's crazy.

Meaning his annual gambling budget easily clears a quarter of a million dollars.

You'd think with that kind of money, he could afford to come up with his own bits.

I'll tell you what, Nick.

Ouch.

Ouch.

You pay me a fraction of your gambling budget, and I'll come up for bits for you.

MVP conversation bar.

We had it first.

I dare someone to call Johnny Furfey of the Pacers sneaky athletic.

You guys have no idea who I'm talking about,

but you will.

Tony knows.

Johnny Furfey, I love him, dude.

God

puts posters up.

He puts posters up.

A receding hairline and a bad back.

Me and LeBron have so much in common.

Let me just stop right here.

Chris is like, How would you feel if you woke up every day and crippling back pain?

That's me, motherfucker.

That's me every day, and I don't have a billionaire.

And it's free.

You're free.

They're the ones saying, I'll take that back pain.

I'll take it out every day of the week.

For $1.3 billion.

I'll take it to be Tiger Woods.

I don't want to be Bob Galata.

I want to be Tiger Woods.

I don't want to be Tiger Woods.

I just want Tiger Woods' money.

His quiche.

Penn State

firing James Franklin.

A couple weeks after Penn State hired Kegel Michael, Keegan Michael Key to do a James Franklin impression.

Feels like we should have known.

Also feels like I shouldn't have called him Kegel.

Nobody caught that.

Yes, I got it.

Greg doesn't know what you're talking about.

No, I do.

I do.

All right.

Bam.

Bam out of bio.

Bam

Telling Asia Wilson he'll propose her after he brings the championship to Miami.

Oh no

Asia better hopes he picks up hockey

What does Mark Davis say to the barber when he gets a haircut?

I'm asking the room.

What do you think he says?

I'll take the bowl

He brings the bowl in and like just puts it on his house.

I have the usual

Mike.

That's what he says.

The usual.

Fuck my shit up.

Lewis.

I like that.

A fan is suing LeBron James for the second decision.

How long did your lawyer say the process would take, Dan?

Yes.

I know that.

Brace yourselves, everyone.

Dan actually thought there was going to be a second decision.

I admitted that.

I wasn't hiding from him.

You thought you were going to shame me?

You thought you were going to shame me by revealing private texts?

I thought he was gonna like sell a decision.

Like, obviously, I think everyone knew there was some sort of advertisement with it, but I thought it was gonna be like part of an announcement, and then it was sold.

Have you guys never met LeBron James, like, in on TV?

Like, you don't know what he's about?

You think that's how he announces his shit?

Come on, man.

I don't know what he's about.

I should have known he's about Hennessy.

It's also this.

That's how he announced his way to Miami.

He did an interview.

Like, what do you mean?

There was a build-up to that.

There wasn't just, hey, by the way, tomorrow I'm going to have an announcement.

Everyone pay attention.

That's not how he does.

When he does that, it's clear he's just doing he's just chilling.

He's just chilling.

Are there any black Ethans in existence?

Does anyone know a Black Ethan?

I do not.

Put it on the poll at Lebatard Show.

Do you know any Black Ethans?

I took a nap and woke up to number 19, Johnson, catching a touchdown for Tampa Bay.

I thought I fell into a time warp.

But Keyshawn?

I have to Google that the kid wasn't Keyshawn's kid.

Just a random Johnson.

Wearing 19 for Tampa Bay.

I know this isn't a surprise here locally, but it is still a little jarring to see an Aronde Gadston running around for the Chargers.

There was another Johnson for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, by the way.

Tez Johnson caught his first career touchdown from Baker Mayfield yesterday.

The crowd chanted MVP,

and Tez thought the chance were for him.

He said, but I had to ask Sterling Shepard.

Like, I didn't even do anything.

I just had, this is my first touchdown of the year.

Three Johnsons when you consider the six-foot-one lining up under center.

This kid is going places.

That's a good one, Mike.

In 1778,

During the Revolutionary War, the British carried out the Cherry Valley Valley Massacre, in which they targeted and killed 30 non-combatants and took 30 more prisoner.

After 247 years,

we finally got our revenge yesterday by sending one of the most boring games imaginable.

Jesus Christ, Broncos, and Jets.

At one point, Justin Fields had thrown for minus 10 yards for the game.

He finished with 45.

Ice cold.

Top five things colder than Justin Fields.

OLI.

Miller Light.

Number five.

The North Pole.

No, we're not doing Benford, guys.

Thank you.

That's usually when I say OLI, that's a sign that the Melissa started.

Number five, the North Pole.

Barely.

I mean, barely.

I looked it up.

It was like 42 degrees in the North Pole yesterday.

Global warming.

Youch.

Number four,

the dairy section of Costco.

Freezing in there, but a nice little respite of stuff when it's hot out there.

Yeah.

When you're hot outside, you go get the milk first.

Go in there, hang out for a little bit.

Maybe what eggs they got going on.

Strawberries.

Yep, absolutely.

Then you come back out.

Now you're good.

Number three:

the tweet from mid-season from the guy who said we were witnessing the decline of Asia Wilson.

Yeah, she ended up being finals MVP, defensive player of the year, scoring champ, and MVP.

Pretty good.

Yeah, not bad.

Number two,

any flight I get on when I forget to bring a hoodie or jacket.

When I bring my hoodie and jacket, it's always like 60 degrees in there.

I forget it.

It's like it's 22 degrees.

I get frostbite on them.

Below freezing.

Is that right?

But you're flying at below freezing temperatures.

I can see my breath.

If I don't bring a hoodie or jacket, if I'm comfortable and I'm hoodied up, it's all good.

If I don't bring it, I can see my breath.

And the number one thing that's colder than Justin Fields yesterday, the Dolphins season.

They strong, Grick, Cody.

Why is it when teams score versus the Niners, the TV trucks always show us Robert Salad?

What the hell?

Speaking of hell

and that beat that didn't come out after my what the hell ARP Ryles.

Wow.

Wow.

You're not working correctly with a mean he needs.

He needs

to be healed.

He did it correctly.

That's the cue.

Like, hey, he's about to wrap it up.

I think it's a zoom.

It's a zoom audio prioritization thing.

Well, those are the weekends.

Accept your apology.

Tua.

I have a couple of sounds that I want to get to from what it is that he was just talking about because Aaron Glenn did snippet reporters for suggesting, did you consider removing your quarterback when he had the worst first half any of us have ever seen.

Sacked nine times for the game, passing total of negative 10 when you take the sacks and 55 yards of sacks and then take away all of the passing totals, which is eight yards on the final drive,

37 before that.

So I've never seen such a bad game in.

normal weather conditions.

I also want to get the sound of the Detroit Tigers announcer who said, bleep this post-game show during the post-game show.

But I wanted to talk to all of you, including Amin, about the new standard in college football where James Franklin can be fired six games after having his team a half from playing for, you know, the most meaningful of games.

College Game Day was at Happy Valley like 15 days ago.

And James Franklin was being interviewed by Sabin.

And right then,

Penn State was in the middle of a good run, you know, made it to the national semifinals.

A A corner slips, you lose that game, and now next thing you know, you're losing to UCLA, which by the way, Deshaun Foster must be the worst head coach on the planet for UCLA to turn their season around the way that they did.

And James Franklin is out of a job, despite all of us kind of conceding.

Not a bad coach, just can't win the big one, $50 million.

Buy out triggered.

Decisive.

That is them knowing exactly which direction.

Matt Ruhl's agent, by the way, is a Hall of Fame agent because he's already linked to that job, restarting the clock over there.

But this was a shocking thing.

Not, it was a shocking result.

And that we were having the conversations immediately after that result.

Drew Allero out for the year.

Seemed like he had a bunch of people fooled, but this is pretty stunning.

Isn't it like shocking and stunning just because Penn State finally did it?

Like, because we've been talking for such a long time, like, he just can't win the big game.

Look at all the talent he has.

He'll get into the playoff now that it's 12.

They'll never fire him if he keeps getting to the playoffs.

And then they actually finally did it, which I think is what actually surprised people.

It's two games that that cost him his career.

One we've never seen.

UCLA was 0-4 and had lost at home to New Mexico 35-10.

UCLA was terrible.

A team of Penn State's caliber had never lost to an 0-4 team like that.

And then I'm telling you, you lose to Northwestern and you get gone.

But it's a long time coming.

Like, he's had years and years of not winning the big games that they hired him to come win.

And his career's not over.

Like, he will end up somewhere and he'll be just fine.

He's just, it didn't work out at Penn State.

You know, the crazy thing, Dan, is like in even the NFL, definitely in the NBA and Major League Baseball, you can fire a coach mid-season because, guys, all you got to do is get a hot enough runner, we'll get a wild card, or we'll get into play-in or whatever, and then we'll see where it goes from there, right?

We even saw Michael Malone getting fired with two games left in the season, which is outrageous, but still enough time for Denver to turn something meaningful out of their season.

What's the point in firing James Franklin right now?

What does that do for them?

How ahead of the eight ball are they?

And then the other part of it is, if you fired him now, that means you already felt like firing him early.

This could have been the first inkling you had about thinking about making a change.

Why didn't you make the change earlier?

It's always the weirdest thing when college football coaches get fired mid-season.

But it's literally, we're literally talking, it's

four halves that got him fired.

If he wins that overtime against Oregon, he's not fired.

If he wins the overtime against Oregon, he does not get fired.

And it'd be embarrassing.

But he still has a UCLA loss and the Northwestern loss.

I believe this happened in three losses.

I believe it was three losses, the cumulative effect of all three of the losses and the last one being Northwestern.

You can't tell me the last two games are James Franklin not being able to win the big game.

They have nothing to do with the big game.

No, but they're brutal losses.

You're probably right.

It's the three because there would still be a path to the CFP even if they just lost to UCLA and Northwestern, even though those records combined are bad.

Well, his reputation is he can't win the big game, but he can always win the games he's supposed to win to still get himself into the playoffs.

And then once he stopped doing that, I mean, the reason it happened after this loss is because three losses for this Penn State team, they're not going to make the playoffs.

So, like, the season ended for them this weekend, more than likely.

That's correct.

I don't know.

But I, but I do ask you again: if they simply make the comeback, they were down 17-3 against Oregon.

If they come back to beat Oregon on the same day, like Indiana just beat Oregon to expose Oregon some, but this was four halves ago.

Four halves ago, they were in overtime against the top five team at home.

They'd be coming back from down two touchdowns in that game to win that game.

I don't know.

I mean, I can't imagine the conversations being held by the boosters as they're losing to Northwestern at home.

Northwestern got him fired.

Nothing in 12 years happened that wasn't Northwestern getting him fired.

You lost to Northwestern, and we cannot abide that.

We are serious people.

Dan, you could say it.

They lost to nerds.

That's what.

I already did say it.

They lost to Mike Greenberg's school, and we cannot have that.

This is like Liam Neeson on the Ice Road up in Nepal trying to spread his brother's ashes on Mount Everest.

Which, by the way, Ice Road Vengeance, the Cinefobe movie from last week, this week on Thursday coming out, Retribution, another Liam Neeson movie.

We're getting a little Liam Neeson slate going on on Cinefobe, wherever you get podcast.

Hey, audience, I got a special treat for you because I want to talk to you about Miller Light, but I want to talk to you about Miller Light with my good friend Rose.

Hey, Rose.

Hi, everybody.

When we hang out, and we hang out often, we're friends.

I consider us friends.

Yeah, me too.

We're often toasting the good times.

And what am I toasting with?

With Miller Light.

That's right, Miller Light.

Whether you're hanging out with your dear friend Rose or at game day, it just hits different when you got a Miller Light in your hand.

From jaw-dropping touchdowns to fantasy heartbreaks, it's a beer that has been there for every moment.

50 years of great taste, simple ingredients, and that iconic golden color that you can spot across the room.

And it's just not the color of the beer, which is brilliant.

That beautiful white can.

How beautiful is that?

Is that you doing the sound of a can opening?

Is that your favorite sound?

Um, no, it is a horsey.

A horsey?

All right, we'll stop doing that.

And here's a kicker.

Miller Light is just 96 calories, 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces.

The original light beer since 1975.

That's right.

And still hitting different five decades later.

You're so good at this, Rose.

I know.

So whatever your game day looks like, remember, Miller time is always a good time.

Look at us.

We're a great tag team.

I'm five again.

Can you do that beer sound one more time?

And the horse sound one more time?

I regret asking you about that one, but the Miller Light sound is good.

Miller Light, great taste, 96 calories.

Go to MillerLight.com slash Shan to find delivery options near you or you can pick up some Miller Light pretty much anywhere they sell beer.

It's Miller.

Time.

Celebrate responsive.

Ble.

Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Tin.

96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounce.

I'm sess.

No, it says.

Oh, sess.