The Big Suey: Bare Hands and Bad Intentions (feat. Kevin Harlan)

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Welcome to the Big SUI,

presented by DraftKings.

Why are you listening to this show?

It's a podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebeth podcast.

I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.

In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.

I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries that if they're just there.

If that hasn't happened to you guys, I've done it.

And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.

This episode of the Dan Lebetzard show is presented by DraftKings.

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Before we get to our next guest, I just want to ask the group by way of introduction,

because I think the baseball broadcaster on the radio used to occupy this spot, which is most beloved broadcaster anywhere in sports.

Can you guys, off the top of your head,

Joe Buck is viewed as controversial for whatever the reasons.

People have their problem with every Joe Buck broadcast.

Who is the most beloved broadcaster going these days?

Kevin Harlan.

Yeah, my favorite for sure.

It's a good nominee.

Not who I would have gone with, but coincidentally enough, he's right here.

I wouldn't have either.

And he does happen to be beloved.

I've got a number of things to talk about, including his upcoming schedule now that he's going to be doing Amazon Prime basketball games.

I'm looking forward to what all of that looks and sounds like.

But welcome, Kevin.

It's good to see you again.

Who would you nominate, though, if I made you think about it for a second and said America's most beloved sports broadcaster at the moment comes with no controversy, isn't polarizing, is simply enjoyed by people throughout the land.

Who would you nominate?

Well, how far back can I go?

I won't go back too far.

No, you got it, got to do it from someone now.

We used to have them all the time.

I don't think, I don't, I think it's harder to do in today's America.

Go back to Gladiator times if you want.

Good.

And thank you, by the way, whoever mentioned me,

I would say Mike Breen.

I'm not sure if there's the established baseball voice.

Joe Davis does an incredible job at Fox and hockey, I think,

or Sean McDonough.

Now, these are two of my friends, so I'm a little biased, but Sean is about as good in any sport that is given to him, baseball, hockey, and certainly football.

And Mike Green has been the longtime voice that we know of the NBA, took over from Arv,

has carried it even to the next level.

So I'd say it's a tie between Mike Breen and Sean McDonough.

Bang!

That wasn't your best.

That was a bad one I was doing.

I saw him mutter the pressure of the moment got to Kerkering over here.

He wanted to do the bang for Harley.

And it wasn't one of your best, but at least you didn't say you wanted to go black to the gladiator.

There was no pressure, dude I just messed up so badly like a late

Kevin what do you think of Jeremy no what do you mean what are you doing

there's a viral Cardinals fan let's please give some context

Kevin I really enjoyed your call your call of Kevin

What car do you drive Kevin of Trevor Carl?

Oh there was a future where I wanted to join this man on NBA broadcasts and you guys are ruining it.

Well that's done.

It's done.

You did that to yourself.

You canceled you.

Your Trevor Lawrence call.

How much did you enjoy doing that, the frenetic panic of the moment?

Well, I love those moments, and you hope that you've got the right words at the right time and sequence the right way, cadence and everything, when something like that happens.

Luckily, he's not a quick Twitch guy.

And

so he fell.

He fell again.

He kind of lumbered his way.

And so it was slow enough to call.

And that made it kind of fun.

And of course, the moment and the heightened point of the game that it was and what it meant.

And,

you know, they got a lot invested in that kid.

So they needed a signature win.

And that probably was the one win they can use to build on what Liam Coleman is doing down there.

But it was a lot of fun.

There was a lot.

There was a lot to that game.

The day before, I was in Seattle.

doing the Buccaneers and the Seahawks.

And that was a circus.

So back-to-back nights,

I never take for granted granted the NFL seat that I sit in every Sunday and Monday, but to have games like that back-to-back was really an honor.

It was a treat and I enjoyed both so much.

In my experience, the people who are among the best at what they do, they tend to be pretty unforgiving of their mistakes.

I don't know how you are about this, but do you ever leave the stadium?

I nailed that.

I crushed it.

That's as well as I could have done that.

Never.

I go back and listen and watch and grade each radio and TV

and I get more frustrated the more I watch my work.

Of all the, I'm the least impressed with my work of anybody, but I like what I do like is the challenge.

of getting better.

And even at my age and stage in my career,

you know, when I was younger, everything was so new and you sometimes didn't know what road to take and how to fix it.

Now I think I've been around, you know, a long time that I can figure out, okay,

I know how I messed up on that.

I need to improve this, polish off this area over here.

But I don't know that I've ever walked away and said, yeah, I don't,

I usually come back incredibly frustrated the week after the game as I've watched daily what I've done or listened to what I've done on radio.

And I'm pretty, pretty frustrated.

So at the top of my boards, and like I've got the Packers and

Bengals this week, my scoring sheet, I'll put my points of emphasis on trying to improve on what I missed on the week before.

That doesn't sound very joyful.

Like I would,

you know, like I'm sure that when you were writing columns, it took, you know, a lot of look and maybe stepping away and getting back and jotting notes or waking up and thinking of an idea to insert in there.

And that's kind of how it is with the broadcast.

I think that because it happens, then you've got some time to reflect on it.

It becomes more an exercise of evolving, improving, meeting the challenge.

How can it be better?

And I try to listen in different ways.

I listen as I'm marking off on a sheet that I've got where I try to keep track of what I say or don't say.

And then just listen as a fan might listen.

neutrally.

And it becomes, you know, the more I listen, the more frustrated I get.

So sometimes I got to step away and try to figure out how I'm going to get better.

But I like if you love something, I think you're constantly trying to improve and evolve and get better.

And I know in this business, which is incredibly competitive, that if you don't, you'll find there are a slew of young, incredibly talented broadcasters right there

chasing you.

So you want to be ahead of the posse a little bit, I think, the older you get and trying to stay current and on top top of your game.

Who's the young one you hate the most?

It's fascinating to hear him say that.

Noah Eagle.

Who's chasing you the best?

Who do you look at as a young person and be like that, motherfucker?

You know what?

And this is the God's Honest Truth.

I really don't listen to many other broadcasters.

If I happen to walk in a room and the family's watching a game, I'll listen.

But I really...

don't.

If I find myself stuck, I may go to a couple guys that I really respect, Joe Buck, Sean, Mike, you know, guys that I really,

really admire, just the way they do work.

It used to be Emmerich when he was doing hockey,

Marv, I think at one time,

when he first joined,

when he first joined TNT,

you know, after getting over my, oh my gosh, look who's on this roster.

And before that, it was Lundquist and Dick Stockton, two people that I revere tremendously.

But I always, I guess I pretty much would gravitate to the older voices and just how they

how they might call.

Not a situation or or not, you know, a flamboyant call, but just like, just the body of the broadcast and the feel it gives.

I mean, I don't want to get too deep in the weeds here, but with any profession, there comes a science and maybe trying to, you know, challenge yourself.

And, and I like that.

I told my wife the other day, I say, you know, when and now beginning this new Amazon venture, which I'm so excited about and grateful that they'd want to bring me on their great roster of talent.

But I kind of feel like

my job is to is to stay relevant.

and current and as sharp as I owe it to my employers.

And

after putting in so many years in this, I owe it to myself too.

So

I don't slack off.

I probably work as hard now as I ever have.

And hopefully that will be the scenario for as long as I'm employed.

Do you have a call you wish you made?

Like you saw something, you're like, man, what a moment.

Like, I wish I would have had that moment to call.

A game that I was doing or a game that I was watching and wish I were doing?

Do both of them, actually.

Answer both.

Well, like, you know, the Marshawn Lynch, the Marshawn Lynch run and the playoff game against the Saints, like as a broadcaster, and it was slow enough that you could keep pace with the run and the one broken tackle after another broken tackle, like what, six or seven on the way 11 11 broken tackles

and i think i think he breaks a tackle at the 30.

oh he stiff arms his way to the 25 angling to the side breaks another tackle at the you know like like you could go on and just and and you could build up the call and and have that moment there are not many like that quite frankly and and dan you you mentioned uh trevor falling the other night that was kind of close to it it was slow enough that you could really have it make sense to the listener i think i went back back and listened.

I said, was I slow enough?

Did I describe enough?

Did I try to measure the steps he was taking until he crossed the goal line for the winning score?

And

so those are the kind of plays that you kind of wish you'd get a chance to have.

Buzzer beaters are great, clearly.

You can set them up and the shot speaks for itself.

But all of it is a challenge.

And

I'm just grateful I'm in a,

I'm grateful that I have found a profession that gives me so much impetus to continually improve, regardless of what stage I'm at in my career.

When you said a second ago, I check in on these broadcasters when I'm stuck, what does that mean?

Just I think sometimes

whether it's creatively or with me, it's probably more cadence and pace and just how they may call a big, like if I didn't like a touchdown call or whatever, or a last second made shot, I say, you know what, that just, it didn't really,

so like, I'll pay particular attention to what Joe or Sean or Mike, you know, these are all my contemporaries, these are all friends, but like, like how they may handle it.

I think we're all kind of learning from each other, perhaps, maybe, I don't know, but I do from them because I think they're all so gifted and talented and have such a feel for the moment.

I love the way they broadcast and

just

how they may handle a moment.

And if I get, say, you know what, I don't feel like my

touchdown call early in a game, middle of the game, late in the game, whatever it might be, it has the right tone to it or feel, whatever.

And so then I'll say, you know, next time listening to Joe or Mike or Sean, I mean, that moment may come up in their broadcast and how they'll handle it.

I don't copy.

I don't tell kids to copy unless they're really young and trying to develop their voice

as I did when I was like 10, 11, 12 years old.

But those guys always seem to have a pretty good answer.

And I just respect him so much.

And sometimes I might even dig in the tape in Summerall and Stockton,

Emmerich,

what their tone sounded like.

You can easily find that stuff on YouTube and other places.

And it's just a good reminder of it kind of,

I think we all need a mentor.

And sometimes distantly, remotely,

their calls,

their voices can serve as a reminder.

Kevin, are there athletes in hoops or football that you kind of get really excited that they're on your calendar because they allow you to get in your bag more than other athletes?

Like, I imagine, like, Baker Mayfield's on the schedule this week.

I'm jacked up because I know I can play my best game.

He loves the way you simply say Baker Mayfield.

I mean, it's no Joe Tess, but anybody saying Baker Mayfield always tickles me a little bit.

That guy's awesome.

It's a great name, right?

I mean, it's kind of a catchy, it's a great name.

But I would say

that

in the NBA, it was Michael, then Kobe, then LeBron.

And I had the real honor of calling every season of Bryant.

I've done every game of every year of LeBron.

And we're scheduled to have him on opening night on prime.

He's going to take the first month off.

So we've already hit the load management there and he's injured, clearly, but that's a shame.

Anyway, the point is, is that,

yeah, I mean, you get like going into last week, Seattle and Tampa,

two quarterbacks with incredibly compelling stories.

I don't need to get into those.

You know them.

And

the way their teams had been playing, you knew that it was going to be, you know, it had the chance to really be electric.

And clearly in the second half, it was.

There were seven consecutive touchdowns scored.

It came down to the final part of the game.

And then in Tampa the next night, or in Jacksonville Jacksonville the next night, you know, you knew the Chiefs are kind of building a little bit and it looked pretty good the week before against Baltimore.

Jacksonville was 3-1, first place team.

So, you know, now this week we've got Green Bay and Cincinnati.

So I've got 40-year-old Joe Flacco, who's pretty doggone smart with an incredible arm,

you know, coming back to play the Packers for the second time in three weeks with a new team and starting the week that he was acquired.

So that kind of is a nice story.

And you kind of get used to those kinds of things emerging during the week of preparation.

You're a Packer fan, right?

You're biased.

You're a Jay Hawk fan and a Packer fan, correct?

Well,

I went to Kansas, University of Kansas, and then grew up as a ball boy for the Packers.

And when I was a ball boy, when I was 10, 11, 12 years old, I used to sneak up into the press box at Lambeau Field and recreate imaginary games during the lunch hour to an empty stadium in an empty field.

And so every time I get in that press box, I think of how lucky, like, like if you'd have told me at that age that my career would have had this kind of,

you know, grouping of games and employers and time in the business, I would have said, oh, like, you got to be kidding me.

So that has a special place for me for sure.

We're, we're actually about 100 miles north of Green Bay and where we spend some time every year, and that's where we are right now.

So I'll drive to the game on Sunday and drive back afterwards.

Well, what you just described in terms of the meticulous that it requires to be as good as you are sounds like it doesn't have a whole lot of fun in it because it has to have so much preparation and then pressure and then the fun is the doing of it.

Have you had a moment, any time where you sit in the press box with such gratitude that it simply moves you to tears?

That it, that where you've arrived, because what you just described, you got to get out of here with that.

You were a ball boy who was doing games in an empty stadium, and now you go back and you get to do that game at the highest of levels?

Like you can't have too many moments like that.

No,

it's singular for sure and one I never take lightly every time I go in there to do a game.

My dad was the president and CEO of the Packers for 21 years

and

he was the one who initiated the rebuild of Lambeau.

and

to what it is kind of today.

And then it was carried on with the people that have followed him and done such a magnificent job.

But there's a sense of pride when I walk in that stadium and

see what he had accomplished in his two decades running the organization.

The only other time I guess, Dan, I feel that is the Super Bowl when we broadcast the Super Bowl.

It's thinking of the people that have been in that seat.

Jack Buck, Lindsey Nelson, Don Cricke, Jim Simpson,

Marv, you know, to sit in that seat and wear that headset and call that game is about as special a moment as you can have.

I never take that lightly.

I'm full of appreciation and gratitude when I sit there and get a chance to do that big game.

So those are the moments that

you say, this is

how lucky I'm, not this is why I'm in the business.

That sounds like it's almost owed you.

It's more how lucky am I to be in the business in that seat and calling a game like this and follow in the footsteps of those of those giants that have been in this position before me.

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Prime Video's NBA coverage begins October 24th with a Friday night double header.

I believe this is Kevin Harlan's most famous call, the way that he will be remembered, all the work he does every week.

He works very hard, but nothing will ever be larger than this.

Not the Packers, not the Super Bowl.

And now, guarding Steph Curry comes up with the steal.

Pickpockets him.

Leonard.

If you've got the hammer, you've got to use it.

I don't think that's his best.

I think his best is the other one, the longer call.

That's a decent one, but this is the best one.

Oh, there's a cat on.

A black cat is taking the field.

A black cat is running from the 20 to the near side, the 10 from the 39 in Dallas.

Here's a short throw down the middle.

Caught by Ingram.

Caught at the 35, went to the 30.

Now the cat running the other way.

And so is Ingram at the 30 to the 25 with the 24-yard line.

It's a catch run of 15.

Now the cat is stopped at the 50.

So is it bad luck for the Giants?

Is it bad luck for the Cowboys?

I don't know, but they've stopped playing.

The players with hands on hips are watching the cat run and zigzag all over the field.

He's at the end.

He doesn't know that it was last Thursday that was Halloween.

Thursday night football.

He's Monday night football.

He's a little bit late.

Now he's at the five.

He's walking to the three.

He's at the two.

And the cat is in the CDW red zone.

CDW, people who get it now, a policeman, a state trooper has come on the field, and the cat runs into the end zone.

That is a touchdown.

And the cat is elusive, kind of like Barkley and Elliott, but he didn't know where to go.

Look at they're trying to corner him, and they got him in the end zone.

There are state troopers all around this cat, which now climbs up into the stands, and the fans are running for their line.

Now it goes back on the field again, and it's running in the back of the end zone, and it runs up the tunnel.

Do you have a personal favorite?

I haven't heard.

I haven't heard the entirety of that.

I would say

nothing to do with drunks or wild animals on the field.

No, that probably would not be my first choice.

You know, I'd like to say that

I'm working toward a call

in a game, in a moment that

I'll remember.

There have been

lucky for me that I've had a lot of great performances I've been able to call.

But I always like to think my best call is ahead of me, but I don't know that it will involve a drunk or an animal.

Maybe it will.

Like if Dan Lebetard ran out there, that would be, I think, worthy of

slowly.

Slowly.

I'm not saying drunk or an animal.

I'm just saying if he just ran out there, he's lumbering.

Lumbering, yes.

You thought Trevor Lawrence was slow.

Yeah.

The strides of Lebetard.

Look at him.

Yes, he's dressing it up a little bit.

So

your next call is your favorite call.

Did you just do that to me, Harlan?

You've got a career.

How long have you been doing?

How long have you been doing this that you're still in a place where your next call is going to be your best call?

I began calling games in my room when I was like 11, 10, 11 years old.

And I told you the Lambeau Field story

was actually our high school in Green Bay had a radio station, 10 watts, reached 10 miles.

And

I did games when I was starting when I was 14.

And our high school games, and then that led to some other work in the Green Bay area with commercial stations.

And then kind of heaped on.

So, what, 14, what, 50, 50 years, 51 years or whatever?

I don't know what else I could do.

Actually, my wife said, what else could you do?

I said, there's nothing.

I don't know that I could do anything else.

So I'm lucky I found something that at least I enjoy.

It feels to you the same.

After 50 years, it feels to you it still has the same stuff in it that challenges you.

And because because you're always looking for improvement, you can't be as hungry as you were, right?

That's not possible.

Well, I'm almost now to the point where I really want to just make sure that

I am improving, as I mentioned, maintaining and

not, you know, messing up in any way,

because when you do, then that draws attention.

I'd just soon not have that angle

hit me.

So

it's harder to leave, to do a game.

Not that I feel more pressure, but the business is changing and the stakes with these NFL games are so immense.

Like the numbers that are watching these games and the knowledge of the fans that are watching them have never been greater.

The fan has never been smarter and the viewership has never been higher.

And the league has never been held in such.

a position, I think, and continues to grow and is the most popular sport and doing two of those games every weekend.

It's the responsibility that probably drives me a little bit and making sure that I'm really buttoned down.

Because when you say something that's not even, you know,

that may be just a little bit off, man, fans know.

I can't believe that fear is still there for you.

I can't believe that.

Yeah, fear is probably not the right word.

It's more responsibility

just because there's not a broadcaster in the business that would not give everything to be an NFL network broadcaster.

And

same with the NBA.

You could line them up.

And knowing that and what's at stake every single game just makes you, you know, you're not nervous.

There's no fear, but

you need to be alert and present and just very...

You got to be on your game.

Probably not too different than how you all feel going up against the competition of the business on your side of it, on your did you not just hear how all of us were talking during that segment?

We don't quite have that standard around here.

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What is the worst attention you've gotten?

You articulated it well when you said you're respecting the responsibility.

It's not fear.

You just always respect the responsibility because any one sentence can get any one sentence on live can get you buried.

So, the worst attention you've gotten is what?

51 years.

That's a long ass time to not have one off the top of your head.

Oh, I can't, I cannot think of one right now, but I'm sure there are.

And, you know, and it doesn't even have to be anything monumental.

It can be just a

wrong identification, wrong name that you've gotten, just not

cognizant of the situation in the game, you know, things like that that show that, all right, he does have some mental acuity.

There is a responsibility responsibility to just make sure that you are really present.

You can't, you know,

it's three hours of not letting your focus dip

at all and incredibly hard to do, to keep focus for three plus hours and not let doing NFL and two plus doing college or certainly the NBA.

And to make sure that you are prepared, you know,

that's kind of the challenge.

You cannot lose your focus because when you lose your focus, that's when the mistakes happen for sure.

We don't make any of those around here.

Our internet is always perfect and we always speak cleanly.

Kevin, thank you for being on with us.

Always good talking to you.

Dan, thank you so much.

And thanks to your great crew.

I sure appreciate the time.

Thank you, sir.

He's as good as there is in the business.

And you can hear why, because he never relaxes on the laurels of knowing he's as good as there is in the business.

I don't think of people like that as having those kinds of, we're not going to call them fears, it's obviously standards, but having standards so high, I would think that he would have the confidence by now that he would just come into the game and just know that he's good at it.

I don't know when that happens for somebody if it doesn't happen after 51 years.

Yeah, I always read into that saying that's why he's so great.

Because he's always aspiring to a standard that he has yet to achieve because he keeps raising the standard.

I just think though, because like for Joe Buck, I'd be curious to talk to Joe Buck about some of that stuff because he's been good at it since he was in his early 20s and it was handed down in his family.

I don't imagine that all standards are like that.

I don't imagine that you get a situation where everybody

views themselves as a grinder.

I'm not saying that he has imposter syndrome, but I've seen a lot of great people who are actually great at what they do that are fueled by imposter syndrome.

And it's just, it's always interesting to me to see someone arrive at success and then have to feel like they have to work just as hard as they did 50 years earlier when they were dreaming about that.

I didn't know he was a ball boy, though.

Like, that's got to be.

I didn't know that Packer fandom was something that was in his blood.

Seems like a major conflict, if we're going to be honest.

I wish you had said that, but it feels like you.

You accused him.

I tried to defend him.

Even there, Billy muttered it.

I barely even heard what he said.

What did I say?

Well, you said go black to Gladiator.

Go black.

Yeah, that sounded like a could have been worse.

I could have been dressed like Jeremy.

Yeah, that was was super racist.

Triple racist.

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Don Lebatard.

To us, residents.

Oh, wow.

That's pretty much

better.

You think I haven't been practicing?

Stugats.

Oh,

I didn't realize we had a substitute complicated legacy joke.

441 Powerline Road.

Second down to nine.

This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.

Hampton Farms fan of the week.

There is no bias around here when we announce this week's winner of Hampton Farms Fan of the Week.

He could win this every week.

The winner is once again, Michael Irvin.

This week's nuttiest fan, get nutty with Hampton Farms, the official peanut of bowl season.

Keep an eye out for Lucy at Auburn this week.

If you think you are your team's nuttiest fan, Michael Irvin, slapping a belt on the wall, doing push-ups,

he could win every week.

Billy, you have not gone after Tony this week as much as I thought you were going to for his contentions, his double-pronged contentions that he's being targeted by the cartel on TikTok and he stopped a home invasion.

I thought

what?

I'm being, yeah, Dan, I'm kind of worried, actually.

Hold on.

Hold on, just a piece of it.

Think before you speak.

I am thinking before I speak.

Okay.

That's the secondary story.

But the first one, I am being targeted by the cartels on TikTok.

So I've gotten to this weird spot on TikTok where I'm getting.

Listen to me.

I love how he's like, I don't know how my algorithm got this way.

Literally, I don't know.

So what it is, is like Jason Whitlock over here.

What cartels?

Mexican ones.

Sinaloa.

Drug cartels?

Are there other kind of cartels that you know of?

Kane's cartels.

Cohen cartels alone.

I'm not getting targeted by any of those.

Big one tonight.

So I'm on TikTok, you know, doing my thing, watching stuff, posting stuff, trying to get more into that.

Follow me at Tenday Tony.

Yep.

Follow me at Tenday Tony.

How are you targeted by Mexican drug cartels?

So listen, so

I've been listening to certain podcasts and they've been saying, hey, look, this is how.

Okay, are you guys going to let me talk or no?

Tony, it's totally fair.

I'm writing it down, Tony, because I want to tell them after the meeting, guys, you got to let Tony Tony get his story off the ground.

Thank you, Dan.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

Listen, so I may have to go work for the cartels for a little bit.

They're saying that the cartels aren't doing like word of mouth, like, hey, why don't you come work for us now?

What they're doing is they're actually sending people videos on...

TikTok and Instagram being like, hey, why don't you sign up to be part of the cartel?

And you can WhatsApp them and they'll send you like, hey, be at this location at this time.

And you can work for the cartel.

So what they do is they'll take videos of the entire process throughout the like from getting the coca leaves to creating the product to showing you the product to just you know

sending the product out distributing distributing.

Thank you.

And they're like, you can make 25 to 50 K a week if you hit this number.

And I'm like, huh.

And you think this is legit?

No, that's how they're targeting people.

They're just happy we let them go.

This is not me saying it.

This is people that are in like the information industry and like security industry saying like, hey, this is how they're targeting it.

This is how they're doing it.

Yeah.

So I was targeted definitely more than once.

This is all algorithm stuff, though, right?

But what what am I searching, though?

Like, I don't know.

I don't know what you're searching that would invite.

I assume at this point that the computers are smarter than we are in some places.

And so they can guess your interest based on some of your other interests.

And

I think that's why Billy, in his awkward way of helping you while not helping you, is trying to say, be careful what you say here.

I'm not disparaging the cartels.

whatsoever.

I'm saying

I tried to not let him go down this path, but you guys wanted this, so here you go.

You're going to get a knock on your door, dude.

Like, you have said way too much.

Hold on.

I'm not trying to knock the cartels.

They actually have a good...

What were you going to say?

What podcast do you think led you to being targeted by this?

No, it's not a podcast that led me to be targeted by the cartels.

It's how I know the cartels are targeting people on social media.

What is Joe Rogan?

Sean Ryan show, Joe Rogan.

Yeah, they have guys on that work in military situations and they're overseas doing certain things.

And there was one guy that Rogan had on was talking about how Mexican cartels are going to find people in the United States and bringing them over to work for them as drug mules as people that are in the production chain and one of the things that he said was tick tock that's exactly how they do it so now I'm finding myself getting targeted by the cartel to be like hey you want 25 to 50k a week and I'm like yeah as well why don't you come over here and I'm like hmm as a good patriot that you are with have you ever considered infiltrating the drug cartels on behalf of the the United States of America what's the win for me there like what do I you're saving hundreds of thousands of lives from all the drugs that are coming across the border?

You go in, you be a drug mule for them, and then you eventually have to turn on them to save others.

Double agent.

Yeah.

Have you ever considered that?

I mean, am I.

Because if they're targeting you, obviously they think you're capable of doing these things.

Correct.

But if you're listening to these podcasts, you probably also think you're capable of doing other things to help America on behalf.

That's what I do of helping America.

Yeah.

So am I getting paid by the U.S.

government or am I getting paid by getting paid by both, honestly?

Now we're talking.

Okay.

Now we're talking 25K a week from the cartels but then i go to the u.s government hey if you match me okay you should strong arm the government they can't even get you help yeah and tell them listen this is what the drug cartel is there's a lot of people strong arming this government trust me and then you say i if you guys don't pay me more money i will continue to flood drugs into your country that's a i like that strategy

can you be my agent using you no i'm going to sit this one out i think against the government though not against the cartels i'll i'll work solo on the cartels i believe uh that uh billy's initial reaction to you, I thought the shock in his voice was from the home invasion, not the cartels.

I wasn't sure, but I thought Billy does.

I forgot about that after the story.

What happened?

Someone broke into your house?

Well, drug cartels or the government.

Did we just put up a photo of Tim Ruddy?

Who was that?

Or was that...

Oh, that's Dan.

Oh, that's AI football player Dan.

Yeah.

That's fun.

That's what we're talking about.

68, Dan.

What do you got a fumblerooski there?

What was that?

Tim Ruddy is who you made me.

It was from the Jeff Saturday School of AI, and it's a joke that's nine minutes late based on Kevin Harlan's call of me lumbering on the field.

The good news is AI isn't here to take over everything.

It took him nine minutes to create that beautiful.

It's not quite fast enough for the joke to land when it's about to.

What about a joke from 20 minutes ago?

Here's Conor McGregor playing hockey.

That one's good.

That guy was terrifying every time he took a trip down the ice.

So someone broke into your your house?

What happened with the home and dancing?

Dancing, you can imagine.

It was the Friday.

I think you're imagining a lot of things.

No, I'm not imagining anything.

Trust me.

This was not imagination.

So, it's the Friday night after my brother's wedding.

Get home late.

Obviously, we had a great time.

I go to sleep.

What?

Yeah.

What?

Go on.

Okay, thank you.

So

we get to go to sleep.

All of a sudden, at around five o'clock in the morning, I hear something downstairs.

And I'm like, what the hell was that?

All of a sudden, my alarm starts beeping.

Yeah, and that's a scary moment.

Obviously, SimplySafe alerts me anytime that something happens.

And what the sound was was somebody had opened a door.

No.

Beep, beep, beep.

And dude, when I tell you, I have to actually update the lawsuit because I hurt my hip again, my quad, that day, getting out of bed.

So I got out of bed like you sane bolt out of the ball.

Do you have a child?

I have a child.

And she's sleeping right next to me.

That's my wife's broken.

Oh, she's in the room.

I was thinking she's in a different room.

That would be scary.

So you're saying you get out of bed the way that some football players get off their backs by jumping to their feet.

like Safon Barker.

Just like

Shawn Michaels.

Thank you.

Always wanted to do that.

The heartbreak kid.

Thank you.

So I kick the diaper caddy out of the way, ended up denting it.

I'll send the picture when I get home.

Ended up denting the metal.

Slip second decision.

I got set.

Man, you are.

I ran down the stairs.

Dan, no weapon, no bat, no nothing.

Bare hands and bad intentions.

And I start running down the hall.

Boom, boom.

Are you like, hey, who's here?

No, I'm silent.

What you hear is the, Jenny said, it sounded like a grizzly bear was running down the stairs because I made every, every size 13, boom, boom, boom.

And I finally get down.

I'm looking.

I get to the front door.

Front door's closed.

Okay, nobody's there.

I get to the sliding glass door by the TV.

Nobody's there.

Okay, where's my office?

No windows.

Okay.

I'm looking around.

I'm looking around.

I'm like, they may have gone upstairs when I went downstairs.

So I ran back upstairs.

I get to my daughter's room where you can see over where the street is.

I open up the blinds to see if somebody's running.

If there's a car, nothing.

I go back up to the room and I'm like,

what's going on here?

I don't know what's going on.

Every door is closed.

Why did it sound like that?

Jenny's like, what's going on?

I'm like, I don't know.

I have to find my phone.

So I look at the phone, SimplySafe sends you alerts on your app and it's like, critical, open, garage.

By the way, the alarm is blaring in the house.

Talk about panic.

Talk about trying to figure out where to throw the ball.

So I finally get up, SimplySafe, garage door open.

I'm like, I didn't hear the garage door open.

What's going on?

And then it hit me.

What?

The sensor fell off the door.

No.

The adhesive of the sensor fell off the door and the sensor was what I heard, you know, rolling on the adhesive.

Bouncing instead of knocking?

Bouncing instead of knocking.

So all of a sudden, I look and I'm like, ah, thankfully.

Well, you was ready to stop the homogeneous.

I don't know how to do that.

Valerie pointed out to me that I do it wrong because she said one night, I heard a noise and I got up and wandered to the bathroom.

Like, I don't totally run.

Is that your tummy?

I don't.

A little rumbling?

She heard a noise.

I don't handle this correctly.

I have never in my life run thinking that there is someone who's a bad person.

Dad, I went down like a man possessed.

I was going to go kick somebody's ass.

Like the flavor.

You can go places with bare hands and bad intentions.

Thank you.

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