The Big Suey: Ham-and-Egger (feat. Dave Dameshek)
We've finally found a man who rambles more than Dan Le Batard, and he's greeted us with a story of an Ed Hochuli bribe, an asinine Wayne Gretzky take, and more Pittsburgh sports than we can handle. Those ramblings can be yours too, at Flanigan's!
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Transcript
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Welcome to the Big SUI,
presented by DraftKings.
Why are you listening to this show?
The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebetard podcast.
I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's prize if they're just there.
If that hasn't happened to you guys, I've done it.
And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar.
This episode of the Dan Lebetard show is presented by DraftKings.
DraftKings, the crown is yours.
There was a place yesterday with Samson where I had some remorse not pressing him on something when we were talking in reaction to breaking news about politics being involved in any of what you see visited upon sports as Terry Rozier does a perp walk in front of everyone that's purposeful in looking that way.
It's offensive and obvious and politically charged.
Samson said, there is no politics here.
Of course there are politics here.
Please don't think that these governing institutions are that much smarter.
Don't give them too much credit.
The FBI could absolutely clown show upon a sports story the way they did with wiretaps in the NCAA and just find a bunch of buffoonery.
But Terry Rozier was purposely walked in front of people that way.
It was not necessary.
It was done on purpose.
Shackled,
cuffed on his hands and his feet as if he were some deranged escaped lunatic murderer who assaulted people.
Whatever his crime is, even if he's guilty, I don't think that was necessary in any way.
I don't think it was necessary necessary that he needed to be arrested.
He could have turned himself in.
I know his attorney said they didn't even give us an opportunity to turn ourselves in.
You should believe less in these institutions than you ever have in your life.
I'm talking about both the NBA and investigators and the government.
He's not a flight risk.
Matter of fact, you know exactly where he is.
It's all very purposeful.
So there was just a lot of pageantry
going on.
Whether a crime was committed or not is irrelevant.
It's what kind of crime was committed and what is the reaction in terms of bringing so-called people to justice.
I could say that the President of the United States was accused and arrested on assaulting women.
He didn't have to do that.
He went in on his own accord.
He took his, you know, his mug shots and all that, but he didn't, they didn't.
bring the SWAT team and cuff him up and shackle his feet as well, even though he was accused of doing harm to people.
During a time when government institutions are being weaponized, please pay attention to the way things
are done.
Some of these things are very obvious, okay?
They are political machines that are now moving powerfully through making it look like the brown people are most dangerous.
And so it serves them to chain up Terry Rozier on a crime that doesn't deserve this kind of chaining.
And the media will gather up behind him and throw rocks at Terry Rosier, you're idiot, you're a bad basketball player.
And Dan, I don't want to be too hyperbolic here, but there was something of it to me that was reminiscent of many of the ICE raids that we've seen around the country.
Like, for instance, recently in New York City on Canal Street, the guys were selling kind of knockoff bags or whatever.
And it's like...
This was all under the guise of we're catching murderers and rapists and gang members and terrorists.
And you're telling me the guy on Canal Street selling a fake Gucci bag justifies that in the same way here.
We're going to catch these organized crime people and all that.
And it's like, so you're going to arrest the basketball player and put him in shackles?
What part of that mission is this accomplishing?
And it just, it feels, again, hollow at best and at worst, purposeful in trying to demonize a certain kind of individual.
You're going to do a deep dive on the facts of this with Pablo Torre and there will be more information there than you will find in most places.
You tried your best, but you are not going to sway me on that.
Is a welcome sight, Terry Rozier being dragged away in cuffs.
That's great.
Sorry.
That was very compelling.
Almost got you.
You almost got you.
But it was absolutely necessary.
Then you remembered like that game where he...
Then I remember the turnover against OKC.
We are not wrong in sermonizing against the idea of chaining up the millionaire, the terrible Terry Rozier.
You're just good with it because you've said since the beginning, like, you would have done this to him yourself as soon as they made the transaction.
Citizens arrested.
And you would have also framed him.
I'm taking this man.
Look, if these poker games were as dumb and all these people were interacting,
you'd frame Terry Rozier in a game filled with you suckering him.
Just like DiCaprio and the departed.
I am a cop.
I'm a cop.
I am taking this criminal.
This is my prisoner.
My favorite text message I got out of all the text messages around this was a friend of mine sent me a screenshot of a text where someone said, wait a second, can someone tell Cash Patel that Woody Johnson has been playing in illegal poker games as well?
Like if that's what we're doing?
Yeah, a lot of Tua tweets at that time
tweets.
Like, I have been rigging games.
My name is Duncan Robinson.
I play for the Detroit Pixels.
You know, you know that the bomb guy, the security guy, there's, he can totally frame players if that's how they're going to start getting around the salary cap.
Like, if
this, there are parts of this that are a thicket of interesting, but Dave Damashek, our favorite football weirdo, is the host of a new metal arc podcast.
I still don't know how to say the America part.
America, football America.
Not a boy.
No, how do you say it?
It becomes football America.
How do you say it?
We couldn't believe that the domain name was available to us.
Football America.
As a reminder, Dan Lebetard is the one who put the exclamation point at the back end, and that's what really makes it sing.
Pronounce it how you want.
Football America knows many regions with distinct accents and otherwise.
So go ahead.
If you're from Pittsburgh, you can say Football America, Yins, but I don't know how people from South Beach speak.
I can't get that patois down.
Shout out, though, to my guy, Amin, Chris Cody.
Everything's happening this morning, clearly, because Chris Cody, what, like 22 minutes ago, I'm sitting here listening to you guys flap your gums, and he says, wait, the Seattle Seahawks used to be in the AFC, and on Football America, in really just another matter of minutes here, an hour or whatever, when the show posts, I do a what if about what if the Seattle Seahawks had stayed in the AFC in 2002.
It yields fascinating results,
specifically around a couple of high-end quarterbacks or prominent names in pro football right now.
Tony, why are you pointing at Chris here?
Chris is like throwing his hands in his ear like a gladiator.
Like, are you not entertained?
That's called network synergy, Dano.
You meant to be an idiot.
Well, what I love, too, is like I say, everything's happening.
I'm thrilled because, like, you know, I think everybody's picking it up.
You know, what comes off me is that I'm one of the great empaths in society right now.
And, you know, I was thrilled for my fellow hockey fan last night that Roy got to pay witness to the greatest player of the millennium, the guy who saved the sport of hockey, Sidney Crosby.
A couple of goals in vanquishing the whatever, what's that team?
The defending championships.
Yeah, the Miamis or whatever.
But that was great.
So happy for everybody there.
My heart is full for on Roy's behalf.
And whatever you guys want to talk.
Oh, I have a quick story, though, about what you're talking about there, about rigging games.
I was once about a decade ago
pre-game down in Chicago, downtown in Soldier Field, running around on the field about 45 minutes before kickoff one Sunday.
And, oh, look who it is.
It's iconic referee Ed Hockula.
He's running towards me.
Right.
The guns are out.
It's a nice day in Chicagoland, and he's running towards me into the bowels of the stadium.
And as he goes by me, I think it'd be cute to do this.
As he goes by, I go, hey, ref.
And I go into my my, into my pocket and I pull out a dollar bill.
And I go, like, let's make sure the home team has a good day today, okay?
And he stops and he goes, what, what the hell are you doing?
And he starts and I realize I have erred immediately.
I've made a grave mistake.
And he said, what do you think you're doing?
And I said,
you know, I was just, you know, having some fun.
He's like, you stay right here.
Who are you?
And
now the the the shame sweats are starting you know the the the cold chill down the spine and everything else and he runs off and he's replaced you know 90 seconds later by a couple of sizable toughs in NFL blazers and they are interrogating me about like who are who do you work for and I said
the NFL
I said, Jesus, can you please let, I don't know why I went into Mr.
Hockuley mode very quickly.
I was like, please, I understand that it was a bad joke, but could you please let Mr.
Hockuley know that it was just a $1 bill and that I have children?
And
he eventually
went back and came back and let me off the door.
The moral of the story is, in a larger, more human way, that Dave Damashek once offered Ed Hockuley a dollar, and Ed Hockuley is a man of such integrity that the entire force of the NFL caped the mob away from
Ed Hockley by denying Damashek his ability to give him a single dollar.
Now,
in defense of Mr.
Hockley, who's a proud resident of the state of Arizona like myself, Dave, were you, how close were you to the stadium when this happened?
I was in the stadium.
I was standing in the archway that leads you into the bowels of the stadium from the field.
There's 8 billion cameras.
Yeah.
And so all they saw was...
Was the waving of a single dollar?
No, they would have seen him reach and show something.
They wouldn't know what bill it was or anything.
And so Ed Hockley is like, I'm not taking any chances here because this Jamo.
I need the cameras to see that I don't like this.
Can't believe that's what you do that for.
That's not the takeaway here.
Dave was being a smart ass and it caught up real quick.
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Don Lebatard.
Sports!
Stugats!
Smart Sports!
This is the Don Lebatar Show with the Stugats.
It hasn't caught up to him yet.
Look at him soaring through the sky with a pod that debuts here in an hour from now.
You're saying that our fourth hour today is just Damashek on the stage.
Do you have anyone from our show on your show on football?
What's it called?
Amanika.
Merca.
Well, it depends where you're saying it, basically.
Anywhere that you are located in Football America, say it how you wish to say it.
We have Amon Green, Packers icon, in advance of the Steelers Packers game.
We talk about who he would rather have,
Aaron Rodgers or Brett Favre or Jordan Love.
He answered it from a football perspective.
I was asking which guy is most likely to pick up the dinner tab.
But either way, that's a fun question.
We get into
all aspects of that showdown on Sunday night.
And,
you know, listen, we bring on Brandon Perna from a high-end YouTube show called That's Good Sports.
We make the game picks and we dig in on NFL week eight.
It's a grand time.
Like I say, I tell you what happens
if the Seahawks would have just stayed in the AFC back at the dawn of this millennium.
I like
the entire episode, Dave.
Like, we're good.
I want to talk about last night.
No, too many.
We got back to the what if.
We got back to the what if.
I like the what if.
Yeah,
just a couple minutes.
You'll deal with it, Mike.
It'll be okay.
Hey, Amin, I've been talking a lot about movies.
I'm chomping at the bit to talk with you.
We've been talking about Tarantino movies and Paul Thomas Anderson movies, one battle after another, one of the real gems of the generation.
I'm going to throw this one at you guys.
I don't want to, I'm sorry, Dan.
I know we want to talk football, but quickly, the game of life matters too.
And watching movies is a big part of my life and Amines.
It is.
So I'm going to ask this one to the room.
Quentin Tarantino character draft.
Oh.
Long weekend.
Who are you riding with?
Whoa.
We're driving.
This is driving.
flying.
You can drive it.
You can drive it.
Let's say it's a road trip because then you have to deal with people's piccadillos.
Famously, there was banter in a car between two of the main characters, but that doesn't turn out well.
They can be irresponsible if they hit a pothole or something.
Well,
they don't turn on each other.
Yeah, it doesn't go well for one of them, right?
Yeah, but we got a spoiler.
A singular character, a singular character.
Okay.
Yeah.
Phil Lamar.
No, wait.
No, no, not him.
No, that was a deep pool.
So we're all all going to choose our first round pick.
Our first pick.
Yeah, go ahead.
Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, let's do it.
You can't share one.
I mean, you have the honors.
Okay, so I'm going to start with...
You know what?
Because he seems like a fun time.
I'm going to go with my man Jules.
That's who I would have selected.
Well, there he goes.
He's taking those.
That's how drafts work.
Isn't that what everyone wants?
Where's your big board, Dan?
Where's your big board?
Come on.
Are you going to take Cooper Flag?
Is that what you're telling me?
I'm just saying that, like, is there a better character than Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction?
That's not how drafts work, though.
That's off the board.
Charlotte Hornets are like, I was going to take Wimbinyama.
No, I want Wenbin Yama.
Yeah, I'll go next in the draft.
Well, I just want to say, right out of the gate, this is maybe not the greatest choice that you could have made there.
Why is that?
Because Jules kills people.
That's right.
And does it with regularity?
What do you mean, why?
He pulls out that gun at the drop of a hat.
He's taking it out at a diner.
He needed to take it out in that case, but still, I mean, he's a dangerous man.
My guy, Jules, does his job.
He doesn't doesn't kill for fun.
He's not a sociopath.
He does it for work.
He pulled the gun out of Donna.
Why?
Because Tim Roth and honey bunny pulled out the guns first and tried to stick them up and told him to throw his wallet in there.
You know what?
He was just trying to mind his business, have some coffee, read the paper.
He is a transitioning man.
He seemed to be mellowed out.
I'm trying real hard.
You could do worse, that's for sure.
It's about enjoying the time with someone in a car.
And I'm going to go with, it was tough between Brad Pitt Tarantino characters, torn between
Lieutenant Aldo Rain and Cliff Booth.
But even though Cliff Booth probably killed his wife, I'm going with Cliff Booth.
You know what, Mike?
I think that's the winning choice.
That's exactly right.
Cliff Booth
is a great time, if nothing else.
He'll trip out with you at the drop of a hat.
He loves drinking beer every night.
Yeah, he's a Misswell fella, and he's a coxman to boot.
So yes, there's no downside to hanging out with old Cliff Booth.
And importantly, if he has murdered, it was only once.
Although
my pal Mark Sessler floated a fascinating conspiracy theory.
Aldo Rain is Cliff Booth.
Cliff Booth is Aldo Rain.
Aldo Rain leaves WW2 with great success, lives out for another quarter century, and then arrives on the scene in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.
Pretty heavy.
Pretty good.
Checks out.
Would no one want to be the detective or the bail bondsman in Jackie Brown?
Like, if you don't want conversation in the next seat, because Cliff Brown's not going to give your Cliff, he's not going to give you much conversation, right?
This isn't, he's going to, it's not going to be a fun car ride with someone who's real talkative.
Well, I mean, Dan, you like to speak.
As it happens, I like to speak.
So, yeah, I'd like somebody who says interesting things about 20% of the time I'm engaged in a conversation with them so that I can just overwhelm with the amount of words I say 80% of the time.
What's your choice now?
Dan wants to ride with the bail bombsman.
I'm like, I want to ride with Jackie Brown.
Hello.
Hey, you know what game you're playing, buddy.
Hey.
I mean, wait, Dan, is your official choice from the galaxy of options in Tarantino?
You're taking the old bail bombsman now?
Don't wait a minute.
You guys just
listen, you guys did a bait and switch on me.
You only took Brad Pitt because he's going to sit there and listen to you.
I'm like, if that's the kind of character, Jackie Brown's not going to just sit there and listen.
I don't want her to listen.
Hey, come on now.
I mean, listen, the options in Just Once Upon a Time in Hollywood are plentiful.
Rick Dalton is a...
He's a drunk who has a million stories about no business.
What a great job.
He's an out-of-control drunk.
I'm kind of with, like,
hey, Cliff.
You remember that time Stephen Morris dropped back through five tutties?
Like, you would just sit there and be like,
so just be an ear.
So he would just be a forehead who would collect your boring Pittsburgh Steelers stories.
I can finally get to football now.
Let me regale you with the ball.
I don't know about
what stories you're talking about because the stories you're talking about are boring.
My stories about the Pittsburgh Steelers, rich and full.
You've got Pittsburgh going back to Green Bay this weekend.
That's the storyline game, right?
That's one of the worst uniform games of all time.
We're mowing through the backup quarterbacks.
It's going to spit up.
The machine's going to spit up, people.
But this weekend, at the end of Aaron Rodgers' career, I called Aaron Rodgers one of the great underachievers of my lifetime because like Shaq, I just expected more winning because that's a four-time MVP.
I want him to win all the time.
These are the last fumes of this and the last chance.
And he goes back to Green Bay and he's got to kind of enjoy
this spot.
Enjoy this spot?
I'd rather it be, as you described, him going to Green Bay.
It's Green Bay coming to his new home and to visit his new life.
I like
the way I consider it and for all the talk, these guys don't want the white, hot
light of attention.
Well, they do want the attention, but they don't like it if it might go against them a little bit.
And so, Aaron Rodgers is saying, all the good stuff, all the nice stuff.
Like, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Like, did things get weird in Green Bay in my last days?
I
hardly even remember that.
I wish him nothing but the best, though.
But clearly, clearly, he wants to win real, real bad.
And you can feel it coming off of him.
And he's the junior junior copywriter in the elevator next to Don Draper.
And Don Draper is Jordan Love and the Green Bay Packers organization looking back at him and saying, I don't think about you at all.
They don't care about Aaron Rodgers and what he's doing, but clearly it is deeply important to Aaron Rodgers and his silly, like, what happened?
That was so long ago.
That was like four years ago when I was saying that Brian Guttenkundz was an incompetent and that no one would come to Green Bay if it weren't for me.
Did that happen?
I don't remember who who said that.
I mean, what was that reaction you just had?
What was the reaction you just had?
What was that sound you just made?
Yeah, but why did you make that sound?
Oh, that name was a little dangerous.
What name?
Let's move on.
Let me do my Brian Gabo.
Let's move on.
Still can't get over Amin and Dan trying to make us feel sympathy for Terry Ruiz here.
I would have had him out as an elector.
I don't even know what the hell you're even talking about what you guys are even talking about.
But, Dan, that's exactly right.
35 years,
the Green Bay Packers have never had, and Jordan Love's pretty good too, but even if we leave him out, for about 35 years, the Green Bay Packers never have worse than the second or third best quarterback in the QB league.
Brett Favre hands it off to Aaron Rodgers.
Two Super Bowls, the exact same number of Lombardies as Trent Dilfer and Joe Flacco delivered to Charm City.
Underwhelming stuff, but I did say in 2010, in October of 2010, into a microphone, anybody who would listen, I said, Aaron Rodgers will go down as the greatest quarterback of all time.
This is before he won a Super Bowl or anything.
That didn't end up happening.
He still may be the most gifted.
He still may,
even with Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen, I still think for quarterbacking, he's the most gifted guy I've seen.
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Don Lebatard.
If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops, oh, what a rain that would be.
Stugats.
Standing outside with my mouth open wide.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
If all the raindrops were lemon drops and gumdrops, oh, what a rain that would be.
This is the Don Lebatar show with his two gods.
That leads me to this with the World Series about to start and the spectacular performance of Otani last week.
How close are we to seeing right now the four goats of the four major sports?
I'm not talking about that they're in their primes right now, but we are witnessing in real time, Otani's Otani's the greatest baseball player in the history of people, right?
Mahomes, probably.
Um,
okay, I've got throwing something out.
I'm throwing something out here, he's gonna shoehorn Sidney Trump.
I'm gonna do that for him.
I like
Tom Brady's alive, right?
Just making sure.
I wears my shoehorn because I'm gonna
smack Mike with it.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm gonna shoehorn in the greatest player of the millennium.
Is that wild to see shoehorn in the guy who saved hockey and would definitely dominate 80s hockey in a way that Wayne Gretzky, if you traded him to right now, would be not a Hammond Ager, but he'd be Adam Oates.
He would not be the star of Adam Oats.
I said he wouldn't be a Hammond.
Gretzky would be a Hammond Ager.
I did not.
Gretzky would be a hammer.
It's an amusing.
Not my words.
Not my words.
I said he wouldn't be a Hammond Ager.
I said he would be more like Adam Oates is what I said.
So Adam Oates is a Hall of Famer, I believe.
He scored a lot.
Do you think Wayne Gretzky would be a dominant force in
2025?
What does that mean?
A jobber.
Whatever.
But I didn't say it, Dan.
I said he's not, he wouldn't be a Hammond Ager.
I said he'd be Adam Oates, who was an all-star.
Beautiful eyes.
Oates had beautiful eyes.
Right now, you are being wildly
Adam Oates.
The eyelashes for you.
By the way, who's your basketball goat who's playing right now?
Is it Wembanyama?
Jokic?
No, no, it would be.
I'm just, I'm floating a thought how close we're getting.
LeBron is the one A, right?
LeBron is the one A in the NBA.
Michael Jordan still?
I mean,
I don't know if you watch.
Michael Jordan is number one.
The 1A is LeBron.
So we're pretty close in the NBA.
We're very close in pro football.
If Patrick Mahomes would have beaten the Eagles last six months ago, it would be settled hash is the best than LeBron.
And Otani is the best.
Now, statistically, Mahomes before 30 is better than any of them.
There's no argument on that.
But what you're saying of all of them, the most impressive, the most impressive is Otani.
Like,
we are watching in real time the greatest baseball player there's ever been.
For the record, Wayne Gretzky did play during the time of Adam Oates and was not Adam Oates.
Adam Oates.
That's unbelievable.
Adam Oates.
That's unbelievable.
Gretzky made his hay statistically, the bulk of it, from 1980 to 1985, when it was the breeziest time ever.
You didn't have to know how to skate to score 40 goals a year.
It was, I mean, there, Ron Duke.
What you're saying is
blasphemous and infuriating.
What you're saying is blasphemy of the highest order.
You can't come on public airwaves, expect to be taken seriously.
With Wayne Gretzky, would have been Adam Oates in the age of Adam Oates when he played with Adam Oates.
Wayne Gretzky was not the best player in the NHL by the end of the 80s.
Mario Lemieu clearly was a superior talent to Gretzky.
He was in a great situation.
He was a dominant force.
He was a points-making machine in the right spot there.
The greatest point guard you could have surrounded by a gaggle of stars.
His power play included Mark Messier, Glenn Anderson, and Paul Coffey.
Like I say, I would have scored 30 or 40 goals surrounded by those guys on the power play.
Unbelievable what he's got.
And goalies to the great one.
And goalies padded up like they were going to go ride a dirt bike rather than stand between the pipes and take 100 mile-an-hour slappers.
I mean, it's not comparable.
We're from a swamp.
We just started following hockey three years ago.
We sharpened our skates with sawgrass, but you make no sense to me.
Roy is just a bad person.
He's disgusted at you.
Imperfect, imperfect way to do this, but I think it's you could do a lot worse.
Do the cross-generational trade.
Trade Wayne Gretzky to
now for Crosby back to 1982.
1982, who do you think wins out?
Who do you think
performs better if you flip the generation?
Sidney Crosby would dominate the NHL in a way that is hard for me to really fathom.
Roy, this is the player you hate.
Roy, you hate this player across attorneys.
You're going to chase Sidney Crosby through heaven one day,
shaking a hockey stick at him because you.
Hate him going to heaven.
You hate, Roy.
Listen to what this man is saying: that Sidney Crosby is miles and leaps better than Wayne Gretzky ever was.
This is all right.
Let's not get crazy about leaps and bounds.
But he's better.
Hamm and Edgar.
Go ahead, Roy.
Ham and Edgar.
This is a clear Pittsburgh bias
coming out of Mr.
D.
Damaske today.
Dave, this is exactly why Cliff Booth is the number one draft pick, because he would just nod along as you said this take.
I also need everyone to really enunciate when you say Ham and Edgar.
It's kind of like Amin.
That's why I'm not saying it.
It's a horrible bosses 2 type situation.
Like NickkurtDale.com.
Yeah,
we're good.
Yeah.
Well, when the Dodgers take the field for the World Series, you'll notice the most important accent mark over a name going
on,
that's right.
That's right.
Damashek, you're making me uncomfortable.
You missed.
Amin protected all of us in that moment with great grace by just doing Brian Gumble and saying, let's move on.
But also, Tony doesn't understand something you've done here because you keep saying ham and egger.
We keep responding as if it's the greatest of insults.
And Tony,
we need you to, it's like a stop sign.
You got to slow all the way down.
Look to your left.
No California stops there, buddy.
You can't just roll.
Give me a breath in between and
egger.
I hear you, but you know, you remind me of something with that.
You know, it's vexed me for many moons now.
Why?
If you want to insult somebody's sense of humor, you say they're they're corny or they're hammy
or cheesy.
You could say, man, you're any of those.
You're cheesy, corny, hammy.
These insults.
Okay, but you're just.
Yeah, but wait, wait, wait.
But hack is one thing.
Those three, those three foodstuffs, each of them, delicious.
What's an insult about being cheesy?
I like when my food's cheesy.
Damn it, check.
Look, Tony, every time you've called him this,
Tony has reacted as, I like ham, I like eggs.
eggs with my people this is delicious like why are you insulting what does the insult even mean I see the confusion on Tony's face yeah you're right I'm I'm guilty of exactly I'm bitten by my own snake here because that's what I'm attacking I like corn and but I wouldn't want to be called corny I think we need to figure out what the actual bad food is and use that as the insult I mean what's what what is the universally you insulted gretzky with what you said and emotes
Wayne Gretzky is artichoke-y.
Like, you know what I mean?
You know what?
Artichokes that are having a, you know, always.
You get a bad rap.
When we were growing up, there were foods that we knew from Looney Tunes and everywhere else.
These are the bad foods, right?
You got Brussels sprouts.
Ugh.
Broccoli.
You got broccoli, artichokes, and
cauliflower.
And lima beans, right?
And then all of a sudden, like, I don't know, dude, genetic engineering or something.
Now these are like the hot items.
Ooh, let me get the broccolini and let me get the Brussels sprouts.
I'm like, where did you guys grow up?
And then I realized someone told me, no, they actually genetically engineered Brussels sprouts to taste better.
The human palate changes everything.
Is that true?
Well,
they've also done remarkable work with cauliflower.
You know, at the turn of the millennium, that also, yeah, I don't know what happened.
They suddenly figured out new tricks with the Brussels sprout and cauliflower got in.
They started mashing it and all of that.
I also am happy that we happened to live on the big blue marble in a window in which somebody came along and said, hey, dark chocolate's good.
Salt and stuff is good.
Let's put some sea salt on the dark chocolate.
But here's the thing is we talk about corn and Brussels sprouts and everything else.
And now every menu that you, every restaurant you sit down, the menu will feature Brussels sprouts, might have some mashed cauliflower, and those are fine with me.
But why in our overly indulgent society do we keep stuffing, delicious, delicious stuffing reserved for just one day a year?
Why don't we have stuffing on all the menus?
Stuffing is divine.
More stuffing.
That's my order of the day.
As a veteran of many media meals at many NBA arenas around the country, sometimes they run out of stuff and they're like, you know what?
We're having turkey night.
And they've got the stuffing and everybody.
Everyone's like, oh my God, it's what I do with Thanksgiving.
I'm like, shut up.
I like this.
I like people to eat like it's Thanksgiving in March.
I just went to a diner a few days ago and I saw on the menu the greatest order you can make at a diner hot turkey sandwich now do yourself this favor say replace the mashed potatoes with fries but put the gravy on the fries and i'll check in with you once i get back down from cloud nine
if you want to be cornered by 40 for 40 minutes by dave damaszak to only hear about mike tomsack he will be at the flanagans
on Thursday, our event presented by Miller Light.
You can just say Bubby Brister and he will talk to you straight for 90 minutes at the Flanagans in Kendall presented by Miller Light.
You won't watch a second of the game.
You will try to get away thinking that it was just small talk and he'll say and another thing
trapped.
That's at the
Kendall Drive in Southwest 127th Avenue Flanagans Thursday, October 30th, $1,500.
$100 costume contest.
Dave, what are you dressing up as?
Jesus, Chris.
Chris, you okay?
Chris, what happened there?
What happened?
Explain what happened.
I lost my breath a little.
You were just starting.
You were trying to do a promo for the watch.
Fourth sentence.
Okay.
27 of them.
So, yes, Mike Bryan has it right.
Okay, we're going to have a block party.
And Dave Damashek, if you get near him and you say anything about Mike Webster, you will be there until Sunday hearing stories, old Steeler stories.
If that's what you want, somebody in your life just breathing hot Steeler breath at you, talking about Bubby Brister and Jack ham yeah I don't know which year
look Roy brought it all the way full circle ham and eggs it will be
bowl number 59 Tony we should have and ham and eggs by the way is a balanced breakfast of the Cuban diet right you got a little bit of ham you put it in the eggs you got a crocadica you get a pastalito you get a total you got a cafe con leche all of a sudden all that stuff gets together right in your stomach no that tony tony i appreciate the support but that's all i don't think you do i don't think you don't.
Dave, I don't know.
You don't appreciate it.
Dave, you've never had a croquet.
I don't think you can appreciate the support until you have a croqueta.
You're going to have a lot of stuff.
Well, I've had, you know what, I had it in the Dan Lepotard studios, as a matter of fact, on my last visit.
It was delicious, but
I'm no stranger to the delights of Cuban cuisine.
But yes, ham more broadly, this might be a hot take for you guys.
I don't know if you're ready for it.
Ham might be the best breakfast meat.
Ham, oh, we had ham last night for at the holidays.
Like, oh, yeah, there's some leftovers in the fridge.
I know everybody does this with turkey.
Get that ham out there, slice off, chip some off there, drop it into a pan.
You can thank me when you get down from Cloud9.
If you want your rib rolls to go cold, just say Tom Barroso around Dave Damashek, and he will spit all over them for 45 minutes.
He can do that same thing.
Did you say Tom Barasso?
He can do the same thing with the penguins.
No, I thought this was just a stealer affliction.
Silly, silly, Dan.
Tom Barrasso was shook when the rats were.
They threw so many rats at him.
All I think of him is him hiding in the net because Panther fans were throwing rats at you the last time you were any good at hockey.
Great goalie fight in that series, too.
Oh, people on the banks of the Three Rivers are still raw about Tom Barrasso letting in
two, not one, but two terrible goals.
He was hiding in the net from people throwing rats at him.
He's a coward for eternity.
Hold on.
That was very sad.
That was a terrible day for the, a terrible window for the NHL because for some reason, the NHL decided, hey, all these talent-deficient teams, let's try to close the gap a little bit against our high-end stars and let them clutch and grab through the neutrals.
You lost to the Panthers with Lemieux and Yager.
It was believed.
Because Barasso was hiding in the net.
It was very sad.
Believe me, I'm not still fully over it.
I mean, the NHL lost.
Our eyeballs lost out with that one.
The Florida Panthers went to play in the Stanley Cup.
Brian Scrudgen took out Lemieux and Yager.
Lindro's on his way.
And the fame to Adam Oates.
We could have had, don't you understand?
You could have had the greatest player of the century, Mario Lemieux, and all of his pals
out there against the Colorado Avalanche, the new stars of the NHL, Joe Sakic and otherwise.
That would have been a showdown for the ages.
Instead, we got the Panthers sort of sort of stealing the credibility of the sport and almost literally crush.
It's not the Panthers' fault.
It's the New Jersey Devils' fault.
They just adopted that talent-free style of play, clutching and grabbing, that just about killed the sport.
Thank goodness, then, that Sidney Crosby made the scene in the early parts of this century.
And that brings us to today
where Roy is still
flush with emotions, having seen what 87 looks like up close.
Dominant is what he looks like.
I've seen him up close before, many times.
It's just game nine in a regular season.
I mean, he delivered.
I literally joked around, say, hey, say Tom Barrazo, and he won't stop talking to you.
And that's exactly what he did.
So, Football America goes up in what, two hours, it's the fourth hour of the show today, and it is on Fridays, every Friday and Monday.
Thank you, Damashek.
Wait, I want to just confirm one thing.
Can we talk about the time when the seventh game of the Stanley Cup finals was held hostage by terrorists, and the security guard from a broken marriage with his children in the stadium had to save the day.
You remember that one?
Do I remember it?
I mean, I mean, the thing that really I don't understand.
Pittsburgh is right there on the edge.
It is the gateway from the rugged northeast into the more pleasant Midwestern vibes.
It sits right there on the edge of all of that.
And yet Hollywood targets Pittsburgh and its teams over and over and over again.
I mentioned it the last time we talked, and it's going to come up again.
Heaven can wait.
Who does Warren Beatty beat in the
bowl in
the Pittsburgh Steelers?
No, face it.
Black Sunday.
Black Sunday is
the Super Bowl in Miami.
Get out of here.
That's enough.
That's enough.
Damashek.
That's enough.
Okay, Damashek, before you leave,
the natural.
Who does Roy Hobbes hit?
Luke Robotoff for him.
I still wanted to ask him to see.
Then those shards of glass start falling down.
He pieces and getting mobbed.
But out in the outfield, those shards of glass are dangerous, and they're falling down on who?
Pittsburgh Pirates outfielders.
What did Pittsburgh do to you, show business?
He mentions
Flanagans and Kendall.
Ask him about Heaven Can Wait at the block party.
And you will stay there throughout the remainder of the football season with this guy blowing nacho breath in your face, talking about a 1976 movie, Heaven Can Wait.
Ham breath.
Say Jason Bay around him and see if you can get him to be cool.
Say the delicious ham treat that you had when you were down here.
Say the word.
Say the breakfast word that you had when you were here.
Say it.
Croqueta.
Better.
Football.
Pretty good.
America.
Dan.
In about an hour.
Thank you, Damaschek.
Go, Dolphins.