Best of the Program | 1/21/20

Hello, America.

Today's a really good, funny, funny show that I don't think you're going to want to miss

a second of it.

Bernie Sanders is Larry David.

I put the candidates for the Democrats in and frame them as the Republicans in 2016.

And,

you know, who's Ted Cruz?

And who is Bernie Sanders on our side in 2016?

Also, we talked a little bit about the

VA

rally, the rally in Virginia.

Bloomberg, if you had $54 million billion dollars, would you be asking people for votes in Iowa?

Because Stu and I would be ghost in that.

You don't want to miss a second of today's podcast.

You're listening to the best of the Blandbeck program.

By the way, there is a new book out called Profiles in Corruption by Peter Schweitzer.

Wow, here's what's amazing.

Look at this.

It's a 300-page book, and the last 104 pages is all

fine print footnotes.

I mean, this thing is so well documented.

Let me give you one of the stories.

An extensive overlap in Frank Biden's dealings and Obama Biden.

Frank Biden.

Yeah, it's a brother.

Yeah.

In their foreign policy in Central America

has just been exposed in this book.

Frank Biden first set his sights on

Central America back in 2009 as the Obama administration began to repair the U.S.

relationship with Costa Rica.

I know we've been laying awake at night going, how's our relationship with Costa Rica?

When President Obama entered entered the White House, he set out to mend fences in the region in hopes of inaugurating a new era of global cooperation.

Leading that charge on that front was Joe Biden, who has long-standing ties to the region from his tenure leading the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

Costa Rica?

I mean, you're leading the Foreign Senate Relations Committee and

Costa Rica is even on your radar?

Shortly after the new administration took office, Frank Biden began scouting real estate opportunities in Costa Rica.

A lawyer by training, Frank was undeterred by his complete lack of background in international development.

This is such a common thread in the Biden story, isn't it?

It's people doing things overseas with no experience and no

prospect for success.

Yes.

Yet they all work out so well.

Right.

Because they're Americans.

They have the can-do Biden spirit.

They're just lunchbox Joes.

Middle-class Joe?

Middle-class Joes.

Is it middle-class Frank?

It's middle-class Frank.

Is it lunchbox Frank?

It sure is.

Wow.

When you open up your lunchbox, you're like, I got a Frank in there.

It's fantastic.

And he gets the job done.

Well,

actually, no, he doesn't get the job done, but he's in there swinging.

Shortly after the new administration took office,

Frank Biden began scouting real estate opportunities in Costa Rica.

Schweitzer notes, despite the professional and personal handicaps, business opportunities somehow were

plentiful for Frank, especially after his brother paid a visit to the country.

Just months after Vice President Joe Biden's visit in August, Costa Rica News announced a new multilateral partnership to reform real estate in Latin America.

The head of this, Frank Biden, and a developer named Craig Williamson.

They have a newly planned resort, is what it said.

The venture, officially sold to investors and the public, as an opportunity to protect Costa Rica's breathtaking beauty, amounted to little more than decimating the country's natural wilderness to build a luxurious resort for wealthy foreigners.

In real terms, Frank's dream was to build in the jungles of Costa Rica thousands of homes, a world-class golf course, casinos, and an anti-aging center.

What the hell is an anti-aging center?

This family is creepy.

The Costa Rican government was eager to cooperate with the vice president's brother.

So here's the thing: his business that he just started in this development, his first thing,

his business

only benefited from

$54

million

of

your tax money.

But that's all he took.

That's all he had.

$54.

So

I don't know what anybody is really having a problem with.

Well, it was a loan.

You know, $54 million in loans.

And, you know, a lot of times you're going to give loans to people who have no experience in the industry that they're jumping into.

Okay, so he did the

golf course thing, and that failed.

And he lost a lot of money.

But then he got right back up at the plate.

And he's like, you know what Jamaica needs?

Solar power.

And I'm sure somebody in his life went, Frank,

you know, you don't know anything about solar power.

Yeah,

so I'm an entrepreneur.

And they're like, yeah, but you didn't know anything about the Costa Rica golf course development and lost all of that guaranteed money from the U.S.

taxpayers.

I'm just playing Joe Biden here.

Right, right.

And I don't know if you're a really good bet.

I mean, somehow or another, you talked me into it because I really believed in you that you were going to make this and you were going to pay these American taxpayers back, and you failed to do that.

I don't know if solar power is the right way to go.

Somehow or another, Frank convinced his brother for another $6.5 million in taxpayer-backed loans

on a solar company.

And we all know how that solar company is doing today.

Oh, it's huge.

It's

Jamaican.

No, it failed.

Huh.

But

it was only,

in the end, it was only a $47.5 million loan.

That's it.

That's it.

Just the $47.5 million.

See, here's the thing.

I want to know, because you just kind of described an extensive vetting process for these projects.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Do you really think that much vetting went on?

Because we know with Hunter Biden, the only vetting that went on was, I hope you know what you're doing.

Well, that's because there's one question that Joe Biden asked Hunter Biden.

Right, that's because he didn't feel he had to.

Because I hope you know what you're doing.

You seen your Uncle Frank?

You know what I mean?

Right.

Two failed businesses.

Now you're going into a business.

You don't even speak the language.

And I don't mean technical language.

I mean the language.

And

I hope you know what you're doing because look at your washed out, you know, probably on the road to be an alcoholic, you know,

uncle, uncle, stupid brother of mine who's just lost $54 million of taxpayer money right into his pocket.

No, I don't know.

Frank's history.

Is Frank's history as

problematic as Hunter's history is, though?

I mean, or is he just a failed business guy?

Well, I think failed business.

How many hookers has he knocked up this week?

I don't know if he's ever knocked up a hooker while he was with his

brother's widow,

who he divorced his wife to be with,

and then got a hooker pregnant.

I don't know if that runs in the family that close, but seemingly wild success

does.

And when I say success, I mean

they walk out with a lot of money.

Right.

Of course.

The businesses fail.

The important things.

Right.

Yeah.

So it's good to know that the Biden family is doing so well.

All right.

Now

I present to you the probably the most important and favorite portion of the show.

We get letters and they say, Glenn, what are the latest identity threats?

And I'll say, you got to wait for the next update.

Well, it's finally here.

Over 26 million customers have their DNA information and databases maintained by DNA testing companies.

Good Lord is my name on this.

But some of these companies might be vulnerable to data breaches as any other company, and your DNA information might be a tempting target for hackers who could sell this information on the dark web.

You gotta be kidding me.

Hasn't happened yet.

That's the good news.

But you could worry about it happening or you could just get lifelock.

Life lock, see I've got this, detects a wide range of identity threats, including the DNA thing, huh?

And the agents work to fix them if there is a problem.

Somebody opening a new account in your name, selling bits of your personal information on the dark web, these and other crimes are things you don't need in your life and you don't need to worry about.

You need somebody else to worry for you.

No one can, like the house thing, like honey, I don't know if Lifelock can protect you from the crimes against your home that have been perpetrated by your own children.

I tried to stop it the whole time.

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We break for 10 seconds, station ID.

Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, pow, bow, bow, pow.

Bow, pow, bow.

Hello, Stu.

It's good to have you here.

Thank you so much.

It's good to have you here.

I'm very excited to be here.

Yes.

Are you?

It's impeachment day.

It is.

It is.

It's the day, you know, they're going to have.

We're going to get to hear a lot about voting on amendments to see what kind of evidence can be put into the trial.

And then tomorrow, they're going to start talking.

They're going to start the trial, supposedly, and they're going to do two sessions of 12 hours.

And so they're going to end every night at like 1 a.m.

Yeah, why start?

You know, why start when people are awake?

Well, this is the complaint of the Democrats who claim that the reason they're doing it this way is to bury much of the evidence after everyone's asleep, which I don't know.

I mean, the arguments are going to go on long into the evening, and most people probably aren't going to tune into them.

I got news for you, Democrats.

No one's tuning in anyway.

People are not interested in this.

I actually am because I'm into history.

I actually am.

Yeah, I mean, I don't find it to be all that interesting.

I mean, look, this is a blatantly partisan thing.

And the founders were smart enough to set the bar high enough in the Senate that it was almost impossible to get a conviction.

I mean, there's never been one in U.S.

history.

We've been around for a while.

So this one's also not going to be one.

So we make a big deal about impeachment because it's generally speaking rare.

But what does it mean?

To get 50% of the House to vote on something is no big parlor trick.

Look, let me give you the most compelling argument to pay attention to this as possible.

Okay.

Okay.

It rarely happens.

Okay, so let me give you, let me give you the comparison in real life.

We don't know how long your grandma's going to be with us.

I mean,

you should go to see your grandma.

Okay.

Because she might not be with us very much longer.

Okay, yeah, sure.

Okay.

That's the only reason.

Why?

We don't know how much longer this Republic is going to last.

You should watch.

You should be there when it takes its last gasps.

Ah, okay.

Okay.

Yeah, because

life support is on.

Yeah, and if we make it through, hey, you saw a bit of history that not a lot of people have seen before.

In fact, no one has ever seen the American Republic act like this before.

It is.

So it's like

you're the first man on the moon.

It is completely insane.

I mean, the founders talked about this as being, eventually, it will be a partisan process and it will go through this.

But that's why there's 67

votes needed in the Senate.

I mean, listen to Chuck Schumer talk about this.

We played that clip yesterday.

I mean, Schumer's like, look, eventually, if you go after Bill Clinton, the Democrats are going to come back and just do this for pure partisan reasons.

And here he is leading the charge.

Oh, here it is.

But it's him.

And remember, he's right.

Remember, the vast right-wing conspiracy took hold because they've been after this president bill clinton since even before he was elected this has been their goal the whole time really does that seem like now

the best of the glenbeck program

hey it's glenn and you're listening to the glenbeck program if you like what you're hearing on this show make sure you check out pat Pat Gray Unleashed.

It's available wherever you download your favorite podcasts.

So, Pat.

So, the rally yesterday, the piles of dead bodies.

Oh, my God.

Horrific.

Was it a horror or what?

Hang on just a second.

Let's listen to what the press said.

Okay.

Here's the montage of what the press said about this rally and what was coming to Virginia.

Right now, thousands of gun rights activists, white nationalists, militia groups, all swarming the Virginia state capitol.

There are a lot of people nervous about what's going to happen.

Authorities in Richmond are on high alert.

It could be a tense date.

Polarization.

What may happen in Virginia?

Several hate groups, supposedly some white nationalists.

White nationalists.

White nationalists.

White nationalists.

White nationalist groups.

White supremacists.

White supremacists.

White supremacists.

White extremists.

This entire rally stands in opposition to the meaning of this day.

Virginia on the edge.

How concerned are you that there might be some people in this crowd that may want to get violent?

There's certainly a lot of concern here.

Raising fears of a dangerous confrontation.

It could be violence.

And there is real concern there about what the intention is behind this.

There's a lot of concern about the potential for violence.

It could spark violence.

Tensions high in Virginia.

It may cause violence there.

North I'm clearly trying to avoid another Charlottesville in Charlottesville.

It could see a repeat of what we saw in 2017 in Charlottesville.

Similar to what we saw in Charlottesville.

Horrible 2017 Charlottesville disaster.

You look at what happened in Charlottesville.

The two sides clashed in Charlottesville.

Men walk through the Capitol in Virginia carrying weapons of war.

Many demonstrators are, in fact, heavily armed.

Heavily, heavily armed.

Heavily armed.

Look at the gear.

What is this all about?

Militia groups.

Armed militia.

These militia groups.

Far-right militia.

Militia.

Militia groups.

Far-right extremists.

Extremists.

Extremists.

Look, those threats which caused the governor to call for a state of emergency have simply not emerged.

The police are very clear in saying that they have not had a single arrest during this rally.

Thank you.

At least CNN told the truth at the end.

Yeah, they did.

At the end?

At the end.

Yeah, they smeared them for about a week.

But then at the end, they did do that one report where they're like, hey, okay, nothing happened.

You know what's crazy is

the reports were not a single arrest.

The police were not out in force because I think the police knew.

The police knew who these people were.

So the police were not out in force.

And the, quote,

crazy radical militia groups the white supremacists white supremacists brought trash bags and cleaned up after themselves that's just like those nazis to try to trick you into thinking that they're not litter bugs i was i was you know they are i was shocked i was shocked at the number of nazi armbands yesterday oh my gosh yeah they were all invisible but i think that's even worse well that's course

and then when when adolf Hitler got up and he started, I thought the guy was dead.

And he introduced Eichmann?

Oh, my God.

Oh, man, those weren't

nobody heard it or saw it.

But that makes it worse.

I think it does, Pat.

I really do.

I do.

And you know what these Nazis liars.

They are so insidious.

They all pretend like they all say, oh, I was against the Nazis.

I have nothing to do with the Nazi Party.

Right.

You know what I mean?

Wink, wink.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

And so they're denying all of that stuff every single day.

So they say things like, we're against them.

Hey, we're just constitutionalists.

We're for small government.

We just, we care about everybody's rights.

Sure.

Yeah.

That's what the founder said, too.

Yeah.

And then what did they do?

They had slaves.

That's what they did.

Okay.

And they fomented revolutions.

Thank you.

So these Nazis,

even though they don't appear to be Nazis, they speak out against Nazis.

They fought wars against Nazis.

Their silence, their silence, their silent support of Nazis.

Their silence is deafening.

It's worse.

It's deafening and worse.

It's worse than what MSNBC said.

Worse.

Because there's no sign of it.

There's no sign of it.

Everybody was pretending they weren't.

Which makes everybody relax.

Right.

And then what happens?

And then they got you.

Yeah, they're worse.

Right where they want you.

Worse than MSNBBC.

It's worse.

It's much worse.

Basically, where they are.

That's where the media

basically is

at this point.

They're hiding it.

They're hiding it.

They're hiding it.

Everybody knows that dog whistle that they blew yesterday.

Thank you.

Well, dogs know it.

People can't hear dog whistles.

No, that's a weird one.

But all the racist dogs, they were all there.

You see how many German shepherds were there?

How many white dogs were there?

A lot.

Right.

A lot of them.

Yeah.

And I will say, it was nice to see the media a year after the Covington incident really learned their lessons

over incidents incidents like this.

They did learn their lesson.

Learn their lesson.

They know.

Don't hype things that aren't real.

Don't do it.

Because you'll get burnt.

In fact, you'll have to pay millions of dollars in lawsuits.

Right.

Potentially.

Like CNN.

And CNN did.

And CNN paid that.

Nobody else has paid that.

Who is the one that came out immediately and went, hey, these weren't right?

It was all peaceful.

They were agree.

CNN.

Now they can smear leading up.

But as soon as there was no evidence, that's a nice little explanation for why they would have done that.

Exactly right.

Thank you, Sandman.

Yeah, Nick Sandman was.

I mean, that's a brave looking

kid.

Brave kid.

I feel like it's more like enter Sandman when CNN's looking at it.

They're like, oh, no.

Here he comes.

This is, I mean, it is a pretty amazing development.

I mean, a year ago, here they are trashing this kid who's standing in his place.

And they were.

Doing nothing.

Nothing.

And it was just, I will say, the Washington Post was worse than CNN.

There were a couple of organizations that actually went further than CNN, but still they.

But not as far as the Nazis.

No, not that far.

Of course not.

The Nazis yesterday, you mean?

Yeah, the invisible Nazis.

They didn't say a thing during that whole San Man thing.

They were like pretending like, hey, I don't think this is fair.

That's worse

than what the Washington Post did.

It is much worse.

Invisible Nazis has got to be one of the worst things in the world.

Because you wouldn't even know they were.

The concentration camps that these people are not building right now

is worse than actual building Nazi concentration camps.

It's worse.

Right.

So because that just means they're due to build more Nazi concentrations.

When they start building them,

they'll be everywhere.

It's all built up inside of us.

They think they have us, but we are on to them.

Onto them.

Thank you, CNN.

Thank you for opening our eyes.

He believes all those people who were armed to the teeth.

And they were.

A lot of them were.

You know, they had AR-15s.

Somebody brought a 50-cal.

Yeah.

And it shows that, gosh, you could actually have a gun and not shoot somebody with it?

Yeah, wait a minute.

You could have a weapon of war, a.50 caliber machine gun, not use it?

Not use it.

Weird.

Weird.

I didn't see that coming.

No.

Well, it certainly didn't.

Yeah, they didn't see a few things coming.

They didn't see a few things coming.

But,

well, the good news is they don't have to cover this.

They did their damage.

Now they can move right on to the impeachment trial.

Thank goodness.

You know what I mean?

Yes.

Where they can talk about these extremists.

Oh.

These just radical extremists that are

trying to

take the country back from whom?

From whom?

The black man?

The orange man.

They're trying to take it back from the orange man.

Is that what it is?

Yes, the orange man in the white House.

Wow.

Nothing worse than an orange man in a White House.

Although I do like dream sickles, and that kind of sounds like a dream sickle.

It kind of does.

It does.

Orange man, White House.

I'm in.

Now,

do you think the Senate will vote to do the witnesses?

Are we going to end this thing quicker?

Like in two weeks wrapped up?

Or is this a months-long process?

It's not going to be a months-long process.

I do think that there's a chance that they vote yes.

They they only need four Republicans, though there's no indications yet that Mitt Romney.

Romney's not even the one they're talking about.

They're talking about Murkowski and Colin Romney and Mar Alexander.

But that's only three.

If you don't have Romney in that, I don't think he's been saying he's going to.

I don't think he can afford to.

I don't think he can always make the wrong choice.

Although he can't afford to.

He can't afford to.

I'm not a massive Mitt Romney fan, but he has not been.

Other than just generally speaking, speaking Romney speak, he has not been outspoken and saying, I'm going to, you know, we need to see a trial or about it.

It's worse.

It's worse.

Worse because he's not saying he's not saying anything.

Oh my gosh.

That guns that makes it worse.

You're right.

He's an invisible vote for witnesses.

I'm just telling you.

He may very well vote for it, but he only needs four.

He will.

Even if it's just in his.

Even if he doesn't, that's worse.

It's worse.

Worse.

Because he sold us out and then sold himself out on top of it.

Bad.

Yep.

Bad.

Yep.

All right.

That is bad.

Wow.

Right?

You know, he wants to, but then he won't.

So he's a double sellout.

This is the best of the Glenn Beck program.

Hey, it's Glenn.

And if you like what you hear on the program, you should check out Pat Gray Unleashed.

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Thanks.

Okay, I want to show you that what we're seeing is, yes, it is a comedy TV show.

What we're seeing happening on the Democratic side is a comedy TV show.

Now, let me show you.

This is a internal video from the New York Times editorial board with Bernie Sanders speaking to the editorial board on why they should endorse him, because

this is who he is.

Listen to this amazing audio.

Look, I don't tolerate books terribly well.

And I come from a different background than a lot of other people who run the country.

I'm not good at backslapping.

I'm not good at pleasantries.

If you have your birthday, I'm not going to call you up to congratulate you and say you love me and you write nice things about me.

That's not what I do.

Never have.

And

I take that as a little bit of a criticism, self-criticism.

I've been amazed at how many people respond to, happy birthday.

Oh, Bernie, thanks so much for calling.

You know, it works.

It's just not my style.

You know, I try to stay focused on the important issues facing working families in this country.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Now, I'll show you that this is a TV show.

I want you to play that audio again and Sarah, watch for my cue on when to start it and it'll all fall together.

Go ahead, start the burning audio.

Look, I don't tolerate bullshit terribly well.

And I come from a different background than a lot of other people who run the country.

I'm not good at backslapping.

I'm not good at pleasantries.

If you have your birthday, I'm not going to call you up to congratulate you, so you love me and you write nice things about me.

That's not what I do.

Never have.

And

I take that as a little bit of a criticism, self-criticism.

I've been amazed at how many people respond to, happy birthday.

Oh, Bernie, thanks so much for calling.

It works.

It's just not my style.

I mean,

this is Larry David.

It is.

It is Larry David.

You can't write that unless you're Larry David.

And he's just as frustrated and miserable and, you know,

it's the same character it's crazy okay but that's not the character they want okay they don't want larry david they want donald trump who does the democrats they want to have missed a news story what do you

want a donald trump they want somebody who speaks to the american people just says it like it is on their version of it what evidence do you have of this they want to beat donald trump so they're looking for someone.

They want their own Donald Trump.

They want their own Donald Trump that can box people out, you know, punch them in the face, get them to shut up and sit down, that can wield power like Donald Trump does.

That's what they want.

They want that kind of personality.

Okay, so let's look.

As I was looking at the Democratic field the other day, and

I started thinking, okay, so what's really going on here?

How can we possibly relate to the people

that are on the,

you know, on the stage?

Because they're all weirdos and freaks.

And

is it just me?

No, it's not.

So I thought, what is it that they are actually,

what is it that they're actually looking for?

They have Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Pete Buddha Judge, Amy Klobuchar, and Michael Bloomberg, also still in the race, Andrew Yang, and Tom Steyer.

Well, you're forgetting about Michael Bennett, Tulsi Gabbard, John Delaney, and Duval Patrick.

Yeah,

sure, I am.

Yeah, okay.

See?

Just like the rest of them.

But

let's just take the ones that they have.

What they're doing is what the Republicans were doing in 2016.

There was a chance to have a new party and a new direction.

Okay?

And if you look at all of the players here,

you will see that the same players just on the opposite side

were in 2016, except for one:

Joe Biden.

Who's Joe Biden?

Joe Biden is the establishment.

He's more of the same.

He's what everybody has grown to go, I'm sick of.

Joe Biden is Jeb Bush, except at 80.

Okay?

If he was

Jeb Bush's age, he might have a chance, but he's the same guy.

Bernie Sanders, they hope, in some ways, is Donald Trump because they're just looking for somebody that can beat him.

And he's not Donald Trump.

He's...

In 2016, he's Rand Paul, but he's more Ron Paul because he had that big following that only cared about Ron Paul.

And they didn't care about anything else.

In fact, they wanted to burn the rest of the situation down.

You know, the party can go burn itself to the ground.

They didn't care.

That's Ron Paul.

And because they're ideologues.

They just have, you know, Mao's little red book.

We had the little pocket constitution.

It's Rand Paul or Ron Paul.

Elizabeth Warren,

like Ron Paul was too extreme for some people, but they liked the fact that he was constitutional and, you know, he believed in all of these things, yada, yada, yada.

But he was too far.

You wanted somebody that was more,

you know, wonky or, you know, just could operate in the system without burning it down.

That's Elizabeth Warren.

So Elizabeth Warren is Ted Cruz.

Just the opposite side.

Ted Cruz is the guy who would go.

You're not casting the movie.

You're casting the movie of the Republican primary with the Democratic candidates.

Because they kind of have

an equivalence.

There's an equivalence.

They're not exact.

Yeah.

And they're certainly ideologically on the opposite ends.

But

Ted Cruz was Ron Paul, except he wasn't going to burn the system down.

He had a plan.

And he was going to

execute this.

Well, he was methodical.

I could see that.

Those are fair so far.

Right.

So you have Elizabeth Warren as Cruz.

Pete Buddha Judge, I'm not really comfortable, but I think he's kind of like Marco Rubio.

Yeah.

He's less experienced than Marco Rubio, but you look at him and he's like, ah, he should win.

On paper, he's good.

Now, I kind of thought Rubio could be Kamala Harris, the on-paper candidate that should probably be better.

But she's dropped out.

Yeah.

And Buddha Judge is the closest thing I think you have to Rubio.

Yeah, and I don't think I don't have anybody clear-cut for Buddha Judge.

That's good.

I think you're right, though.

I think Rubio is a good example there.

Andrew Yang,

Carly Fiorina.

Okay, both tech entrepreneurs and tech entrepreneurs, somebody who speaks common sense.

You know, may not everybody on the other side is not going to agree with, but somewhat palatable to the other side at times.

Correct.

And somebody who's just like, can we just talk facts and figures here for just a second?

Can we just be rational human beings for a minute?

Generally thought of smart, well-liked.

Correct.

Yeah, I took that.

All right.

Okay.

So you got me so far.

Amy Klobuchar

seems like, you know, a normal human being,

but probably

not so much, you know.

Kind of like John Kasich,

where you're kind of like, eh, okay.

But I went back and forth with John Kasich because I think, in a way, it could be Tulsi Gabbard.

Because they perceive

her the way we perceive John Kasich.

Just a total sellout.

But Kasich was much more of a party

figure.

He was more of a Republican creature.

Gabbard's not at all.

So Klobuchar is probably the right creator.

Yeah, because Klobuchar, too, is one that occasionally seems palatable to the other side, which what people said about Kasich.

You know, Kasich was the one candidate that the Democrats would say they wanted out of the entire field, and probably Republicans might say the same thing about Klobuchar.

I mean,

we talked to

Mike Lee when he was in here, and we said, Hey, what do you think?

Who is of the Democrats that are running that you work with, who's the closest to the Constitution?

And he said, Klobuchar.

So, I mean, you can kind of see that.

Gabbard is,

I think, likable in different ways in that she's standing up against the Democrats.

I think that's the main reason people like her.

Her policies are just not even remotely close to what a Republican would want.

There are some people on the right who like her anti-intervention sort of policies.

So there's some alignment there, which there's not really any alignment.

This is not fair to say, you know, oh, well, who's the closest to

the Constitution in this field?

It's probably Amy.

You know, that's like having me, Tim Tebow, and a Tim Tebow and a Wino.

And which one's the closest to an astronaut?

I don't know, probably Tebow because he's in shape.

Right.

But other than that.

I think that's about the level.

That's a good

question.

Nothing.

Right.

Nothing.

He struggled with it, to be fair.

Okay, yeah.

But I think the idea is that occasionally Klobuchar could, in theory, say something that is parallel to sane.

That's the only standard we're talking about here.

And I think the left would say the same thing about Kasich, right?

Kasich was a very boring, generic Republican that would say things that kind of felt good to the mainstream media, which is why he was the nice guy, right?

Trump was mean.

Cruz was mean.

Kasich was the nice guy.

He was the moderate.

I don't know.

And they do say that about Clovischar when she's not, you know, pelting employees with things.

She's not so nice.

As long as you don't work for her, she's very nice.

She's very nice.

And as warm as those winters she's grown accustomed to.

So Tulsi Gabbard, then

maybe

Ben Carson.

Yeah,

because he's totally kind of from out of the...

Not a normal Republican, right?

He came from a totally different background as Gabbard did.

She's very religious in her way.

He's very religious.

And I think, didn't he have some strange background?

They're uncommon.

There were reports on that, yeah.

yeah

and uh they're both really nice they both kind of had a little bit of attention but never really made a serious rot yeah yeah yeah possibly okay uh now tom styer

i put into the category of chris christie if power was money

in his state you know uh and if

because the only difference here this one feels like a reach to me okay it might be It might be.

But here's what it is.

You know, no matter what they act like, you know, in your heart,

there's a lot of corruption going on there.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

So you look at Chris Christie and you might be like, ah, it's funny.

And look at the fat man on the beach and whatever.

But it's all about power.

And

you know, there's a little corruption going on there, maybe a lot.

And the same thing goes with Tom Steyer.

He can write, you know, the little T's to remind him to tell the truth.

Nobody has to draw a T on their hand to remind them to tell the truth.

I wake up every day and write, don't be Satan on the back of my hand

just to remind myself.

Try not to be Satan.

I get up every morning after a reminder, don't be Satan.

Who does that?

Usually it's easier.

Yeah.

You don't, you know, unless you are Satan.

I'm not Satan.

Look at my hand.

He writes crosses on his hands and then he lights them on fire.

Right.

I mean, it's kind of like Chris Christie.

It's like, you know.

Okay.

You know.

I mean, it's a little bit of a reach because Christie was, you know, a governor and they're coming from totally different backgrounds, but I can see the similarities there.

Yeah, they both had power in their own way.

Yeah.

Both have power in their own way.

And both of them...

you know, would close the bridge

if they wanted to.

Oh, yeah, Steyer's closing the bridge for closing the bridge.

There's no doubt about that.

Right.

And Bloomberg is George Pataki.

Bloomberg is George.

Think of that.

Think of that.

I think Bloomberg's got a better chance of winning than George Pataki.

Yes, but they're both as lovable.

Pataki might be a little more lovable,

but they're the same kind of

New York politicians, certainly.

This is the best of the Glenn Beck program.

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So, Michael Bloomberg has $54 billion.

Now, I cannot imagine because I've watched others go through it.

I mean, there is nothing that will talk you out of running for president faster than following somebody around the country who's running for president.

It is a nightmare.

It's a hard life.

Oh,

it's not only just a hard life of, you know, waking up into cities you don't know where you're at and just non-stop over and over again.

It's just so dishonest and dirty with the press and just awful.

I hated it.

Yeah, I mean, just because you're going from city to city, but they're not like, it's not like glamorous travel, right?

Like you're traveling back roads to little halls where you're talking to 40 people and

you go and go and go and you give the same speech over and over and over and over and over and over again if you mess up one little thing it's all over the world if you do everything right no one notices you know it is really a you know and you're going in and out of like every back room and they've got like you know three-day old danishes and that's what you're eating and yeah there's nothing that will cure you from hotel food faster than going in the back way of hotels we do that all the time and i can name the hotels that i still am comfortable eating at.

You walk through the back kitchens and the back hallways, and they are nasty.

Nasty.

And I will say a lot of these people are used to the kind of nice life, right?

And then they go to, I understand it, like a holiday inn.

Remember, we stayed at the place where they had the pancake printer.

I loved that.

In the lobby where you just

press a button and a pancake popped out.

It was the first seasons.

Oh, God.

They don't have a pancake printer.

I loved that hotel.

I love that thing.

I want one of them in my house.

It was a Holiday Inn Express, if I'm not right.

I think it was.

It was.

And legitimately, you just pressed pressed a button and in about 40 seconds, a pancake popped out.

It was a nice, hot, fantastic, delicious pancake.

I want one in my house.

Why don't we have one?

No, a Holiday in Express.

I want one in my house.

So it's a different life from these, you know.

politicians that are used to nice hotels in Washington, D.C., and they're traveling all over the country getting nice speeches and everything else.

That goes away for these trips.

Well, one thing I did notice that while you're on campaign is

you do get to see America.

You know, that's the one thing that the Electoral College ensures.

These people have to go out to the farmlands.

They have to go out to places and spend a lot of time with people who would never be in their circle.

Never.

No.

And it's really good.

Do you ever see Hillary Clinton at any state fair?

Any state fair.

No.

Right.

Never.

Never.

I don't think she'd allow her private jet to fly over.

Right, right.

No, people stinked on that.

So it requires them, because of the Electoral College, to go into places where they would never, ever go and really have to spend time living the life that they live.

And I think that's healthy in some ways.

Oh, I think it's definitely healthy.

But it's not something that if I have Michael Bloomberg money, I'm interested in

participating in.

I mean, Steyer's doing this.

Now, Steyer does not have Bloomberg money.

He has a couple billion dollars, which is not, you know, nothing, right?

I mean, it's basically

basically poverty levels is what we're talking about.

For the Democrats, yeah, kind of, yes.

But he is, and by the way, his ad spending has taken a nosedive the last few days.

People are starting to wonder whether Steyer's decided, eh, maybe this is not going to happen.

You know, maybe my money is not going to be able to buy this election, which, of course, is what conservatives have been saying forever.

That's not the way it works.

Plus,

he's totally outshined by Bloomberg anyway on that front.

So

he's in trouble.

But Steyer has been actually going to these early states and trying to campaign.

And that's not something,

even if I have Tom Steyer money that I'm interested in.

Now, if I've got Bloomberg money, there's no way I'm doing it.

Now, Bloomberg money.

Well, one way to get Bloomberg money is to be the president of the United States.

As soon as you're president of the United States, except for Donald Trump, you watch.

Donald Trump's not going to be out making all these speeches and, you know, giving all these

because he's not in the popular crowd.

It's true.

He'll still do well, I think.

No, he will.

He did not like.

I mean, look, do you remember when the Obamas were like, we still have student debt?

Yeah.

They just bought an $11 or $15 million house on Martha's Vineyard eight years later.

That's a pretty decent eight years.

Yeah.

Netflix is like, here, take a billion dollars to make documentaries or whatever they're doing with that.

I mean, it's

just a payment.

It is.

It's just a payment.

It is.

With Bloomberg money, though, you don't have to care about that.

You don't care what your life is like afterwards.

Your life is set.

He's got $52, $54 billion.

He's the ninth richest man in the world already.

That's a different level than even a Thomas Steyer, right?

So what do you do?

All of a sudden, you wake up and you find out that you're related to Michael Bloomberg.

He just died of, you know, SARS or whatever.

That Chinese SARS.

He's got that Chinese thing.

I don't know how the Chinese keep getting sick.

They all wear surgical masks.

How do you keep getting sick?

There's a chicken and an egg issue here you might want to consider.

It was like, you're all wearing surgical masks all the time.

The sickness may come from the surgical mask.

But anyway,

you know, what do you, what do you do if you are if you if he dies, you're he's your rich uncle, you're the only relative to Michael Bloomberg, and he's left you $54 billion.

You don't even call me to say I'm not coming in.

I mean, you might see my face on television if I get unlucky.

But yes, you're right.

I would have been a call.

Maybe I have someone.

We wouldn't.

No, wait, wait, wait.

I'm going to amend that.

Until you actually got the money, you would be coming in every day and you wouldn't tell a soul.

No way.

No one would know.

Your best friends wouldn't know.

Your wife probably wouldn't know.

You would just be totally silent.

Then you'd have it.

Once you had the money,

ghost.

Oh, yeah.

To a lot of people.

I mean, maybe I give the call just to kind of laugh.

No, the kids would come along.

Kids would come along.

Kids would come along.

But would they be with the help now?

Well, of course, someone's got to take care of them.

It's not going to be me.

I got $54 billion.

Okay, I got it.

But I got it.

It's not going to be working anymore.

Right.

Patting them on the head.

Nice to see you guys.

Night night.

Now, of course, my first call would not be to you or my wife or anybody else, but Jeffrey Lurie, owner of the Philadelphia Eagles.

And, of course, that would be immediately purchased for any price.

So I probably add about.

I mean, it's valued at $3 billion.

He's not going to sell it to me at $3 billion because, well, because

he could sell it to anybody for $3 billion, and he's not selling it.

I would have to go through the pill thing.

Oh, yeah, they'd approve you.

Certainly.

They would not approve you.

Oh, they would.

No, they would hate you because you were...

Aren't you the guy who worked with Glenn Beck?

No.

I've destroyed.

Oh, you know what?

No.

You have $54 billion.

You have to do it.

You have to change billion erasing you from the planet so no one knows I ever knew you

what happened to my studios they were here yesterday

there's a new apartment building where my radio studio was

but yeah I mean so if you own something that's worth three billion dollars and you can sell it at any time like you have nice things right you could sell those things for whatever their market value is.

You don't do that because you're valuing that thing more than the market does, right?

You know, I have, like, if I've got so, how much are you willing to pay for the Philadelphia Eagles?

Out of $54 billion, how much are you willing to give up?

I mean, well, let's just say you're going to negotiate, but what is, what's it worth?

John Huntsman taught me this, John Huntsman Sr.

Never pay more, not than what it's worth, never pay more than what it's worth and what it's worth to you.

Right.

That's very important.

Right.

I mean, 50% of the people.

I think he meant that that number should always be lower.

Oh, really?

Because I think it's certain things I would value more than others, right?

That's what the market is.

So I would value the Philadelphia Eagles certainly more than almost anyone.

Right, but he was talking about, he was talking about business.

Remember, it's still business.

Like, I asked him one time, when does a Gulfstream jet ever

make sense economically and he said, oh, it never does.

Now, he's like a billionaire.

Yeah.

Never does.

Then why did you get one?

Because my time with my family is more valuable than the money.

Okay.

Exactly.

Right.

Right.

Like, I mean, there's never a way of, you know, a vacation is worth paying for.

Any vacation.

It's not worth it financially.

However, you're buying an experience.

You're buying something you enjoy.

So you're buying a two, four, six, eight billion dollar experience with the Eagles?

Well, first of all, it's going to generate lots of revenue.

However, yeah, I mean, you start getting north of $10 billion.

I start getting a little nervous, probably.

Nervous.

$54 billion.

Don't tell Jeffrey Laurie this because if I do get the $54 billion, he's going to have a very good negotiating position.

However, like, yeah, I want it.

And I'll pay any price, basically, right?

I mean, first of all, I only need to get 51% of it.

So, I mean, I might even be able to

be able to skimp a little bit.

I can't think of anything that I would pay a billion dollars for.

That would mean so much to me that I would, I mean, I would start, like, for instance, I could see myself starting a town, going out someplace, doing what Walt Disney did, what he tried to do with Epcot, and say, Nevada, I want this property and it's mine.

I can build whatever I, none of your little rules.

I'm going to build a capitalist John Galt kind of town.

That's cool.

We're going to experiment.

I could do that, but I can't think of a thing or an entity that I would want.

You wouldn't buy

some Disney property that you want.

They would never sell it to me.

And it would be much more than $54 billion.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, yeah, maybe the Space Needle, only just despite

all of the people in Seattle that are crazy.

Because they could never.

Right?

As long as I keep the elevator up at the top, they could never grapple up.

Yeah.

You know, so I'd be safe.

I i would you know what i would do i'd put crisco on the legs of the space needle so you're just basically being rapunzel is that is that your story

never come down and then i electrify the roof and i electrify the little thing that goes around the space needle so if you're trying to skydive in you're trying to and you have to look at me

all the time i'm in every picture you want because I have the space needle.

And so I'm there every time just pissing you off and maybe pissing on you from time to time.

You know, if it's raining, really, is it?

Does it rain all the time in Seattle, or is that Dunbeck pissing on us from the space needle, which he just bought?

It might be that.

Find out how much that's worth.

American Financing, NMLS, 1-8-2-3-3-4, www.nmlsconsumeraccess.org.

I like that idea so much.

We should call American Financing.

How much, how much down do I, how much down do I need to buy the space needle?

What kind of rate can I get on a $10 billion loan?

Right.

Now, there's no way for me to pay that back unless somehow or another I'm related to Michael Bloomberg and his only relative and he decides to leave it to me.

And he inexplicably has SARS,

which is a really weird thing for him to get today.

He could have it.

He could have it.

I don't even remember what SARS was.

I think it was one of those viruses that was going around China for a while.

Like one of those things that like

2010.

But when you said, when I said it, I'm like, oh, God, I hope that wasn't one of those really bad things.

It was pretty scary for, you know, it was like the swine flu.

Remember for like one year, everyone was freaked out about it?

It's the flu.

And there's a new one, too, by the way, that looks, again, very scary.

Yeah.

It's a flu.

It kills old people.

And people with.

And the regular flu kills a lot of old people.

Yeah, I know.

Sadly.

This is just a souped up flu.

Okay, we got it.

We got it.

You understand the.

I understand the concept of the flu.

I got it.

And this is a bad one.

Okay, get over it.

Do you remember when AIDS

was first coming on the scene and there was a product called the AIDS Diet Plan?

Oh, yeah.

Or like Canned.

AYDS.

AYDS.

AIDS DIET PLAN.

And I remember when you saw AIDS and everybody was losing weight and they were just,

it was just a horrible death.

I just remember thinking, those people in that company are just like, good God, you couldn't have called it Butterfinger?

You couldn't have cut anything.

Anything but AIDS?

Yeah.

And they just disappeared.

I don't.

Definitely a secondary tragedy of the virus, but

it was sad.

It was sad.

Not as sad as the actual diet.

Not as the actual virus.

The virus.

That would be number one.

That would be number one.

Number two was the candy diet company.

Those two things.

Man.

Both victims.

That would have been the...

See, that's my kind of investment.

I'd be like, just before AIDS was, I'd say.

Billion dollars, this AIDS diet company, they got a bright, bright future.

Jump right in.

Jump right in.

And then the next day, they would announce the, you know, the actual disease of the same name.

And the ink would be dry.

And I would be back to doing this.

The best of the Glen Bank program.

Hey, I'd just like to start a new segment.

I don't know if we could do this every day or maybe even more than once a year, but the new segment is not all people suck.

And I think this is not more than once a year, obviously.

So it's an annual, biannual.

It might be

every,

you know, we'll find one and we save it for the presidential election years.

Okay.

Yeah, so once every four years.

Once every four years.

Yeah.

Please write out a good story.

We've got a good story about people that make you go, you know, not everybody sucks.

Okay, so this is a story about Howard Kirby.

Now, Howard was living in

Owasso, Michigan.

I don't even.

I don't even.

Okay.

Owasso.

Get a real name if you're a town.

Anyway, he purchased at the Habitat for Humanity restore.

He purchased a couch and an ottoman.

And he brought it home, and it was just for his man cave, and he was sitting in it, and he was like, really uncomfortable.

And he was, you know, saying, geez, man, this, this is the Ottoman is just really uncomfortable.

It doesn't feel at all like the couch.

And so his daughter says, let me look at it.

And so she found a zipper on it and she unzipped it.

And inside,

they discovered stacks of hundred dollar bills.

Okay.

Nice.

Now it's not Michael Bloomberg money, but it's sweet money.

Okay.

Okay.

Now, I want to ask, remember, the name of this is not all people suck, but we we know that most do.

Okay,

so

the first stop on the most do train is

if you found

$43,170

in a couch you just bought possession nine-tenths of the law.

This was a

couch.

You didn't steal it.

They sold it to you.

It was in there.

It didn't belong to Habitat for Humanity.

They had it.

They supposedly went over it, you know, make sure it was good, and they sold it to me.

What do you do with the $43,000?

What is the thing that you do?

What's my public position?

Is that what you're asking?

What's your real position?

I mean, I think I would be tempted.

Oh, I'll be so tempted, but I wouldn't do it.

Pocket the $43,000.

But I think I probably get tempted and then eventually make a call to the place I bought it and say, hey.

Oh, see, I would be tempted to pocket the $43,000, but then I'd know I'd blow it all quickly, so I would actually make the call and and

set up a time to bring it to the bank

I would do exactly the same thing I think I would

I would be really tempted but I couldn't live with myself and it would be

almost blood money it'd be couch money because yeah you'd wonder what the story was

I will say I would definitely exploit it for the most attention and positive oh my gosh yeah I would be like I am I'm tiny Tim I'm just basically a great person I am tiny Tim here I want everybody to look at me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

That would be tiny Tim.

I would change my license plate to look at me

after doing this because I want everyone to know what a great person I was.

And I would do it just for personal gain.

I mean, at the end of the day, I might as well just keep the money.

I might just have my personal campaign would be, who's better than me?

And my license plate would just read, not you.

Not you.

Okay.

So anyway.

This is biblical, right?

Of course it is.

Of course it is.

It's in the Bible someplace.

It's all in the Bible.

We're still in Bible country.

So Kirby buys this place, you know, buys his couch from this secondhand Habitat for Humanity thing.

And,

you know, the guys that are working there, they're getting rich.

He calls up and says, hey, you know that couch you sold me?

Yes.

I found $43,000

in the couch.

Now, you're working at the Habitat for Humanity place,

and you know that most people suck,

and you don't really see a future.

You know, you're working selling used couches.

Yeah.

Second question, what do you do when somebody calls and says, hey, I have this $43,000.

Do you know who it belongs to?

Because you're opening up my mind to a lot of possibilities.

Yeah, my answer is yes, I do know who it belongs to.

Just bring it to me.

Bring it to me and I'll take care of it.

I will deliver it to the person, which, because I am only saying that because I know

you're going to start a campaign of who's better than me and your license plate is going to be not you.

Right.

So there's also, and we should explore this a little bit too, there's the thought that you call up the Habitat for Humanity and you say, hey, I found an Ottoman with $36,400 in it.

So Kirby passes two tests for people that don't suck.

Because he could easily have just said a lower number.

Yeah.

Although we could say there could have been 50K in there and he was only saying 41.

So we don't know for so long.

So he might suck a little bit.

Maybe.

He might suck.

But still, overall, pretty good guy.

Pretty good guy.

And then the Habitat for Humanity person, I guess if you're working at Habitat for Humanity, you're probably more likely

to be a good person.

Either that or you're a washed out why no, you know, and then Habitat for Humanity is like, we got to have somebody.

I mean, we're at a 3.9% unemployment rate.

Who do we get?

Right.

And some guy's like, out of your gouges.

And you're like, you want to work here?

Right.

Okay.

Okay.

So the Habitat for Atlantic person could have easily said, though, I know who it is.

Bring it in.

we'll get it to them.

You're a really good person.

You know what?

Keep $100 because you're such a good person.

And then you keep the

$1000.

But he didn't do that either.

He actually knew who sold them the couch.

So he called her.

And he said,

was there anything in that couch of yours?

Now, somebody calls me.

I think

maybe there's a,

I don't know, a dead heroin addict that, you know, was stuffed into the couch that I didn't know of.

Oh, right, right.

You know, there's SARS, which just killed Michael Bloomberg, apparently.

And he left all of his money to some radio guy.

So I don't, you know, I'm thinking, wow, what's wrong?

I should train myself to think money might be in that couch.

So the answer is money.

That's what you should say.

Anybody says, hey, you know that chair or that couch or that picture frame that you sold me?

Yeah.

Did you, what do you know about that?

I made a huge mistake.

It was worth a lot of money.

It was given to me by my great, great, great grandmother.

I'm so glad you called.

I've been panicked.

I'm so glad I've been panicked.

Why?

What did you find?

I think that's the right way to go.

It's like Ghostbusters.

If someone asks if you're a god, you say yes.

Yes.

Right?

That's

what you do.

It's exactly right.

It's exactly right.

So let's just keep that

in case anybody finds money or the Declaration of Independence behind something that you sold at a garage sale.

Just they call and say, hey, what did you know about that?

You say, Oh my gosh, did you find it?

Please tell me it's still all there.

That's how you answer that question.

Oh, thank God, please tell me it's all still there.

Yes, okay, that's the right answer.

Oh,

I'm so glad.

Well, I don't want to tell you.

Wait, wait, because if they say, Well, what is it?

Oh,

wait, if you didn't find it, I don't think we should talk about it, but I do need it back, right?

I desperately need it back.

So, it's easy to do that.

So, this woman didn't do that when they call her.

Now, she's the third person,

and she's like, Well, that was my father's couch.

And I just sold it.

And I gave it to Habitat for Humanity.

She didn't say it was hers.

So all the way down the line, you go, well, that guy's dead.

So I guess that money's mine.

None of them did that.

They returned the $43,000 to the original woman.

It was her father's.

He apparently was like, I don't trust the banks, which I agree with.

But I tell my children where the money is before I kick it.

And so apparently he put all of his money into

the couch.

Either that or this story has a really bad ending, that he was some like mob guy and he was keeping drug money in the couch.

But let's not.

But again, this title is not everyone doesn't suck.

It's that some people don't suck.

So it still would work.

Though I think there's an opportunity here.

First of all, if you're the daughter and you've donated this to Habitat for Humanity, isn't the right thing to do to donate the money to Habitat for Humanity?

And isn't it Habitat Humanity for Humanity's position?

You know what?

We sold it.

And hey,

you got it.

And if we told you, it comes as is.

And as is had $43,000 in it.

And, you know, we wouldn't have helped you if you found, you know, SARS in it with a dead junkie.

Yeah.

So

well, I think so.

I guess it's yours.

Along with the dead junkie.

What happens to the money, though?

Because the way this should end is they split it three ways.

Right?

That's the way this should end.

Where, like, the guy who tuned it in gets a nice reward.

Habitat for humanity gets a donation.

And the person who didn't even know she had the money gets a big chunk of extra money.

That's exactly what Solomon would say to those three.

Let's cut the baby.

Let's cut the baby in thirds.

You each take a third.

Right.

And that's when somebody like me says, Solomon, no, no, no.

Guys, the right thing to do is give the money to me.

The fourth person?

The fourth person.

It wasn't even involved?

No.

No.

It was my money originally.

And your dad stole it from me.

Exactly right.

He was a bastard.

He was a bad, bad man.

And I'm going to spend half of the money advertising.

What a horrible person.

So this is, depending on if you count me or not, this is three out of four or three out of five people aren't all bad.

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