How Women Are More Powerful Over 50

I recently did an episode called How I Turn Heads Over 50, and it's gone somewhat viral. I've had more emails and DMs about it and more listens, views, and comments on YouTube than any other episode I've done.
It sparked a lot of great conversation about how we feel about our appearance and about ourselves and about aging. Some of the comments were related to getting male attention.
Some women thrilled they still get it, others lamenting its loss, and some relieved to be free from it. But here's what's so very interesting about that.
Nowhere in that episode did I ever say anything about him. Not once.
That episode was not about seeking or desiring male attention. In fact, I specifically made the point that turning heads isn't about needing or seeking attention from anyone, including men.
So the conversation today is a very important one. I'm telling you how to claim your own personal power at any age, what it takes for older women to be more magnetic and extraordinary than ever, And yes, how to turn heads when you walk into any room, and why that is a good thing.
This is a thought revolution, so I hope that you will stick around for some serious badassery. Hi, it's Hillary.
Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today.
If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review, and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too.
It makes sense why some of you went right to thinking about male attention when I spoke about turning heads when I walk into a room because from the time that we are little girls, we are conditioned to believe that our worth and our value is derived from external sources. We learn that there is a certain way to be in this world and if we are not that, then we will not be accepted, liked, approved of, that we aren't enough or that we won't belong.
We learn that our worth is tied to what we achieve, and we get praised when we do well, and maybe even criticized if we fall short even just a little bit. We are encouraged to go with the flow, be nice, don't rock the boat, help others, and be a good girl.
It's really all about what will other people think. And there is a lot of pressure on how we look, on our appearance, all so that we can get the guy, and therefore we are then deemed lovable and desirable.
We are only desirable when someone desires us, rather than just believing that we are worthy and desirable because we simply are. Maybe you've heard this.
This is what I used to get. Be ladylike.
What boy will want to go out with you if you act like that? We are conditioned to please and accommodate and be agreeable. And it has us seeking approval and acceptance and attention.
And that external validation is what makes us worthy and enough. And this is the most diminishing and disempowering message that we can give to girls.
It is literally giving our power away and handing it over to other people and other circumstances that we cannot control. And it's what most of us grew up with, even from well-meaning parents and moms.
And so then it follows, right, that as we age and our faces change and our bodies change in all the ways that it does, and in ways that we believe society or men or others don't value or find attractive, then therefore we aren't valuable or attractive anymore. We don't deserve the limelight, that we are systematically ignored, and we become the invisible woman.
That's what I talked about on the other episode, so I'll make sure to put the link in the show notes for you. But listen, my friends, this is all total and complete bullshit.
All of it. And I just won't have any of it, And I don't want you to buy into it either.
It's only real if you believe that it is. And I personally do not see it happening anywhere.
And I do not feel it in my life at all. I'm 52 and I am only just getting started.
Yet people continue to talk about this. And I'm actually sick of hearing people talk about what society thinks of women or how we are portrayed.
No one else gets to decide that for us. We decide that.
Jane Fonda, who I actually love, has a quote, Women are not forgiven for aging. Robert Redford's lines of distinction are my old age wrinkles.
But who is not forgiving us? And why do we need forgiving? And says who? Are we not more than half of society, all of us? We allow this to happen and we perpetuate it by buying into it. And then unknowingly, we continue to pass it along to our kids.
We are complicit and in collusion and we don't even know it. When you keep telling the same story over and over again, it only reinforces it.
So this has to stop. It stops with you.
It stops with me. It stops with us right now.
Just stop. We have to stop talking it into existence.
Just stop telling the story, period. That is how you change a narrative.
You literally stop talking about it and start only talking about the reality that you want to experience instead. So there are three very important points that I want you to take away from this conversation today.
First, to claim our personal power at any age is to be defiantly committed to being true to ourselves, rejecting the impositions and expectations that we must be a certain way or look a certain way to be good enough or worthy or desirable. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you.
Your opinion of you is what matters and yours only. You are not here to make other people happy.
You are here to make you happy and you are not here to live a life someone else wants you to live. You are here to live the life you want to live.
So stop chasing and seeking and proving your worth. No one else gets to determine that for you.
Your worth is already inside of you. It always has been because you were born worthy and you still are.
Nothing has changed no matter what you have experienced in this life. When you operate under this assumption, you are impervious to external influences and become completely rejection-proof.
You are self-defining and self-determining, an autonomous and fully sovereign being. Isn't that so fucking cool? So that leads me to my next point.
As we get older, we become what I call fully steeped, like tea, stronger, bolder, and more distinct in flavor, more fully who we are. And it's easier to care less and less about what other people think of us and to be more fully and fearlessly authentically ourselves.
It would be nice if this had been the case for us all along, and likely it wasn't for most of us. And we can only hope that the next generation of girls will get to be different.
But we have to own this right here and right now. We have something the younger version of ourselves didn't yet have.
The perspective, the wisdom, and experience, and the confidence, and the knowledge of someone who has been there and done that. We carry a sense of certainty if we give ourselves that credit and we let go of self-doubt.
We can see looking back at all that we have learned. It's what we know to be true.
And this is sexy and powerful and magnetic and radiant. And it's what makes us captivating and alluring if we just rest in the feeling and the knowledge that this is who we are right now.
This deep inner satisfaction and peace that comes from knowing we no longer have to try so hard or strive for that approval and validation and that we actually never did. It's how we feel about ourselves for us.
I love to say this. I hope it sticks with you.
Be irreverent to the fucked up conditioning that our worth and our value comes from what others think of us and that there is a specific way we need to be or look to have value and that we lose our allure, impact, or relevance as we age. It's actually the opposite, and we get to decide this, and we get what we expect in this life.
Third, I'm going to say it again, turning heads at 50 or 52 or 62 is not about needing or seeking attention, not from men, not from anyone. It's not about who's looking at you.
It's about the energy you carry, whether someone is watching or not. It's about knowing you are worthy of being seen and relevant and making an impact because you are important.
You are a gift and you have something to say, that you are valuable and you are beautiful in every way. So it's about walking into a room and knowing you matter.
You deserve to be there, that everyone in that room benefits from your presence. And then at the same time, it has nothing to do with them at all.
It's just about you believing this for yourself. It's your relationship with you.
You have the power within you to be a force for good, to be a positive influence, and to raise the vibration. Your energy is powerful if you claim it.
So yes, walk into any room and know that you turn heads, claim your seat on the throne, all hail the queen, and just sit there

and radiate your high vibe energy.

Yay, I just love this episode today.

I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I did.

Make sure to subscribe, and if you're watching on YouTube,

click that bell so you get notified of all my videos

so you never miss one, and I will see you next time.