1225: Penis Size | Skeptical Sunday

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So a lot of you accidentally got this episode on Friday.

That was a little system error on our part.

So sorry about that for the unsolicited dick episode instead of Feedback Friday.

If you are getting this and you didn't even get to hear Feedback Friday, I suggest trying to listen again in your app after deleting and redownloading the file, listening in a different podcast app like Overcast, or you can listen directly on the website at jordanharbinger.com.

The problem is us Americans, we are just not good at pulling things back.

Maybe if we weren't all circumcised, we would have been able to, we would have been able to figure this one out sooner.

Sorry, folks.

Now, on to Skeptical Sunday.

Welcome to Skeptical Sunday.

I'm your host, Jordan Harbinger.

Today I'm here with Skeptical Sunday co-host, Michael Regilio.

On the Jordan Harbinger Show, we decode the stories, secrets, and skills of the world's most fascinating people and turn their wisdom into practical advice that you can use to impact your own life and those around you.

Our mission is to help you become a better informed, more critical thinker.

And during the week, we have long-form conversations with a variety of amazing folks, spies, CEOs, athletes, authors, thinkers, performers.

On Sundays, though, we do Skeptical Sunday, where a rotating guest co-host and I break down a topic you may have never thought about and debunk common misconceptions about it.

Topics such as why the Olympics are kind of a sham, why tipping makes no sense, circumcision, Reiki healing, ear candling, self-help cults, energy drinks, and more.

And if you're new to the show or you're looking for a handy way to tell your friends about it, I suggest our episode starter packs.

These are collections of our favorite episodes on persuasion and negotiation, psychology, disinformation, crime, and cults, and more.

That'll help new listeners get a taste of everything we do here on the show.

Just visit jordanharbinger.com/slash start or search for us in your Spotify app to get started.

Today, there's an old saying, you can't say happiness without saying penis, which is true, and it's a good thing because that's all we're really talking about today.

Not happiness, the other thing.

Happiness, hap, penis.

Oh, yeah, okay, I get it.

Fine.

Gives the old Beatles song happiness is a warm gun a whole new angle.

That's right.

Never thought of that one before.

Now, I wouldn't say the penis is unappreciated.

No.

In fact, one might say a decent part of the internet is dedicated to them.

True.

Yes.

In fact, something of a double-digit percentage of web traffic is dedicated to it.

But what is a penis really?

And I don't mean like philosophically.

Well.

Like, where does it come from?

Have they always been around?

If not, what was the first animal to have one?

Do all animals have them now?

I'm guessing not, but how are they different?

How are they the same?

Today, I want to take a deep dive into choose any term you like.

There's literally thousands of words for today's topic.

Yeah, today we're talking about penises with one of our resident

dick experts.

I don't know.

Do you want to be a

prefer skeptic?

Let's go with it.

Dick skeptic.

Because when you're really into something, you might be like a Lego head.

So maybe you're like a dick head.

Anyway.

Yeah.

Nope.

Nope.

No.

That doesn't work for you.

All right.

Anyway, you're right, Michael.

They go by many, many names.

Some people even have their own personalized name for it, yours truly included.

You care to share yours?

Yeah, no, I've never come up with a unique name for my own member, to be quite frank.

Yeah, well, it's not too late.

Yeah, okay, Jordan.

I'll put a pin in it.

Maybe not on the air.

That actually, that can wait for our skeptical Sunday about penile enhancements, which is coming soon.

Or one about kinks, which may be coming soon.

Maybe.

I don't know.

Yeah, okay, fine.

I'll leave it alone for now.

Yes, steer clear of it for the duration of this particular podcast.

At least.

You got it.

Well, it's fair to say that your two hosts today are in possession of at least one penis.

I hope we're in possession of two.

Yeah, I mean, we're each in possession of a penis or a wiener, whatever you might call it.

Anyway, this episode, like my penis, is rated E for everyone.

Not, well, maybe not really.

So you're saying this episode is not members only?

Yeah, oh my God.

Correct.

And this appendage is not unique to the human species, is it?

Let's jump into the science before we get too crass here, possibly too late.

Yeah, okay, fine.

There's all kinds out there, but the OG, the original penis, aka the first known penis, is said to have shown up around 425 million years ago in a creature that more or less resembled a shrimp.

So, okay, how big are we talking, shrimp dick?

Well, the creature itself was about half a centimeter, so not so big, but it was certainly the start of something very big.

Well, I'll say.

So, what caused this development?

What reason was there to start having a penis other than entertainment?

Yeah, okay.

So the penis provides a more targeted transmission of gametes, basically sperm.

So instead of just carpet bombing or crop dusting eggs, it offered a more precise method.

Also, if the female of your specie has their eggs protected inside their body to keep it all safe, you'll probably need something to get up in there and fertilize it.

Yeah, something that's able to penetrate, maybe.

Right, exactly.

Actually, penetration is the key in this scenario.

Now, just because our little shrimp friend was a fan of the penis, that doesn't mean that every species evolving out there thought, hey, I want one of those weird-looking things too.

Right.

Not every species has penis envy, and not all species out there have penises, right?

Not even close.

For example, only 3% of birds have penises.

Sharks don't have penises at all.

Doesn't that make them seem a little bit less tough and scary now that you know that they don't have penises?

Yeah, no, not at all.

I assure you, that's just a delusion.

Many dangerous animals share that particular omission.

In fact, spiders are dickless.

Lots of animals out there find no need for a penis.

Funny enough, a rooster does not have a penis.

Oh, a cockless cock.

How sad.

Yeah, a cock has no doodle-doo.

And every penis is different.

I mean, have you seen a duck's dung?

It's quite a spectacle.

Not in person, but let's just say that in researching this episode, Let's just say that if someone was to come across my browser history, I'd have some explaining to do.

And as to the duck dick, yeah, it's a wild one.

It's like a long corkscrew.

There's definitely a lot of variety out there in the animal world.

There's the four-headed penis of the echidna, the single-use penis of a certain sea slug.

Whoa, hang on.

You can't breeze past the single-use penis thing.

That is crazy.

I want to know more about disposable dicks.

Okay, fine.

The sea slug, known as the Gani Obranchus reticulatus, is known for its disposable penis.

Yeah.

After mating, this little guy detaches and discards his used penis, which he then generates a new one within 24 hours.

And by the way, I think we've all maybe been in a place where we're like, I just want to be able to leave this here and leave and go home quietly.

But imagine being able to say, here's some dick.

You know what?

You keep it.

I'll just get another one.

I think that's kind of amazing somehow.

Yeah, well, there's a lot of amazingness going on in the natural world of penises.

There's the barnacle, who has the largest penis compared to body size on earth.

Wow.

I didn't even know that barnacles had penises, much less that barnacles were incredibly well hung.

Well, that they are, Jordan.

Barnacle penises can be up to eight times their body length.

Wow.

So that's like a human having a, I don't know, 50-foot penis or 60-foot penis.

Wow.

Yeah.

I'm not even going to try and think of that.

Yeah, an erection would kill you due to blood loss or blood pressure changes anyway.

And it possibly would kill anybody unlucky enough to be struck by it as well.

Yes.

Okay.

So there's a lot of penises out there.

There's also, there are a bunch of animals that start to develop penises in the embryonic stage, only to abandon it altogether.

So is that kind of how human embryos, they make a tail sometime and then it disappears and gets absorbed by the body?

I've heard about that.

Exactly.

There's even a cave insect where it's the females who have what could be considered a penis.

It's like pretty much like a vacuum hose that sucks up sperm from a pouch inside the male.

Again, can't just breeze by that one.

That is, that's something, a vacuum dick.

Yeah, exactly.

It's called the neotrogla and it's a cave insect in Brazil and they have the opposite gear as us humans.

The females have penises and the males have vaginas.

This sex role reversal allows females to actively control mating by inserting their penis-like organ called a gynosome into the male, holding him for long periods while vacuuming up his sperm capsules, which, by the way, the female also uses as a food source.

Wow, sperm is a food source.

I think, well, on second thought, maybe I'll just leave that one right there.

Yeah, it's a super strange relationship they have.

Also, the mating can last for up to 40 to 70 hours as the female uses her gynosome to hold the male tightly, preventing him from escaping.

70 hours of sex?

That beats my, well, it beats my record by about 70 hours.

Yeah.

It beats my record by about

69 hours and 55 minutes, roughly.

Oh, giggity, giggity, giggity, goo.

All right, I could have used that soundbite anywhere, and it could be used everywhere in this episode, but I'm just going to drop it there and then never use it again.

But I think I'd be, people would be disappointed in me if I didn't.

Anyway, let's not make this episode any weirder than it already has to be.

Back to the female spider with the vacuum penis.

Nature has so many different takes on the wing from the sound of it.

Yeah.

And the penis itself has evolved just as species do.

The more relatable, recognizable penis that we have today, which is erectile tissue and a single protruding structure, shows up first in early reptiles and mammals.

Ah, the first boners.

That's right.

And with the exception of humans, most mammals actually have a penis bone.

Dogs, chimps, mice all have a straight-up bone involved called the baculum, but humans decided to ditch it as we evolved.

So we also, I assume we had ditched these spikes and spines, right?

Didn't human ancestors have spikes on their spikes?

Yeah.

Yeah, they did.

Some early ancestors of human beings likely had spiny or barbed penile structures.

Many primates and other mammals like cats and rodents have penile spines, and these spines are thought to have evolved to increase reproductive success by stimulating ovulation in some species.

And this is gross, removing sperm from previous mates.

Yeah,

that's pretty visceral.

That's one thing I remember from BioClass, and it's kind of gross.

And I remember early humans.

that maybe that's why we have the sort of mushroom tip too like make sure we get the other guy's stuff out of there so we can put mine in it's just really revolting to think about yeah well we are talking penises here so there's going to be a certain gross factor to this episode by the way one other reason for spiky penises is to speed up sex, which makes the couple having sex less vulnerable to predators.

No wonder I don't have those.

I don't need that.

A long, slow lovemaking process being a good way, I guess, to get eaten by a predator.

So yeah, no wonder my ancestors and I have made it this far.

Yeah.

In fact, that's my new excuse.

Hey, I was quick on purpose.

I was just trying to save you from getting eaten by lions, baby.

That's right.

Anyway, in humans, the gene that codes for penile spines called the androgen receptor enhancer is missing.

Scientists believe that we lost our wiener spikes sometimes after our split from the last common ancestor we have with chimpanzees, who do have small penile spines.

So our closest ancestors, the chimps, have spiked penises.

Yep, we just missed the cutoff.

Well, I didn't.

Mine was snipped at about eight days from what I've been told.

No, we're not talking about circumcision just yet, but we'll get there.

So basically, humans chose to enjoy long lovemaking sessions at the risk of being eaten by lions or tigers or bears.

Oh my.

The threat of being eaten by a bear during sex might actually be a turn on to some people if Reddit is to be believed.

And I went down a lot of girthy rabbit holes when researching my part of this episode.

I'm guessing humans being the top predator probably also made it easier for the evolutionary branch to spineless dicks and enjoyable sex.

Right.

And either way, aren't we lucky?

I will say I'm pretty happy that we ditched the spines and spikes, but I think a lot of our listeners probably are even happier about that, especially if they're on the receiving end of the penis.

Yeah, I'm happy about it too, Jordan.

As is the skin on my right hand, if I were to be so happy.

Dude.

Dude, I'm looking at the calluses on my left hand.

Anyway.

Okay.

Yeah.

Anyway, so we humans evolved to have a penis with three main parts, the root, the shaft, and the glands.

Inside the shaft are three columns of erectile tissue.

One of which surrounds the urethra, which carries urine out of the body, also semen, not at the same time, thankfully.

Right.

That's one pipe, two purposes.

I like it.

Right.

And those spongy tissues fill with blood about one cup every two minutes to create an erection.

So it's kind of like hydraulics, I guess.

Yep.

Now, once human males had these penises, the final draft, I guess, we started becoming pretty obsessed with them.

I would imagine.

I know it's not just teenage boys in the current generations that are obsessed with these things.

That has to go way back.

All around the world, people started drawing and sculpting.

dicks.

Now, Romans and Greeks were especially famous for this, but it's got to go back even further than that.

There's going to be some cave painting of a dick, right?

Oh, absolutely.

It does go way back.

In fact, the oldest depiction of a penis is from the Paleolithic period, and it's about 42,000 years old.

It's a pendant carved from graphite.

A Paleolithic period penis pendant.

Nice.

Little alliteration there.

Yeah, that's right.

And as human civilization progressed, we had all kinds of depictions, festivals, arts, you name it.

The Dick Festival.

Welcome, everyone.

We're going to get into, actually, there's two that I'm going to talk about in one second.

Okay.

But the Egyptian god Min was rocking a hard on in all depictions.

My kind of guy.

The Romans had a winged penis oulet called the Fasinus that they hung over doorways to ward off evil spirits.

I guess if an easel spirit's coming into your house and he's like, these weirdos have a

omulet with a boner.

You know what?

I don't want to haunt them.

Too weird.

That's right.

In ancient Greece, the phallophoria celebrated fertility in a phallic procession.

Basically, a penis parade.

There you go.

Penis parade.

And you thought that the Boston St.

Patrick's Day was a bunch of pricks.

This one.

There we go.

Yeah.

I went to Bhutan and they have dicks everywhere.

I wish I'd done a little, now that you mentioned, I wish I'd done a little more research on it.

They have winged dicks absolutely everywhere.

Every building has it.

They're on walls.

They're on temples.

They're in commercial areas.

So it almost sounds like kind of the same thing with the Romans.

Interesting.

So these were ancient dicks or?

Bhutan, when I looked into this, because of course, when you're there, you're like, what's up with the dicks?

It's also fertility and it's also protection against evil spirits.

And there's just very, they're colorful dicks everywhere.

Houses, buildings, like I said.

They also believe that they'll get rid of malicious gossip.

So like people talking bad things about you.

And it's like, no, look at the giant dick on his wall.

And oh, okay, maybe we should shut our mouth.

It's very prevalent in Bhutanese culture.

And it's also kind of funny.

And they're kind of in on the joke.

It's not like, oh, don't talk about our dicks.

We're reverent about them.

You point it out and they all kind of chuckle and giggle because it's just admittedly silly how many there are and how they're all over.

And you go to a souvenir shop and there'll be like a whole shelf full of winged dicks.

It's just, yeah.

Wow.

Winged dicks.

Winged dicks.

Yeah.

Tell me more about dick festivals, though.

Yeah, okay, fine.

There's the Kanamara Matsuri in Japan, the festival of the steel phallus.

It's giant penis floats, but it's also penis-shaped candies for the kids.

It's a joyful event.

I came across in my research an Italian mural from the 13th century depicting a tree that has penises as fruit.

Nice.

It seems like the penis got a lot of love back in the day.

The penis was often tied to myth, power, and the idea of masculinity and fertility.

So there's a connection to spiritualism as well, like I mentioned about Bhutan, but there's ancient fertility cults in Egypt, Mesopotamia.

It's kind of a thing back then, too, yeah?

Yeah, absolutely.

And the penis can also be found in the ancient mythology of those eras.

For example, in ancient Egyptian mythology, and you might remember this one, Osiris was chopped into pieces only to be reassembled by his wife Isis, except for one part.

Yeah, you guessed it, his penis.

And the penis was eaten by fish, if memory serves.

I've forgotten everything I learned about Greek mythology from high school, except that Osiris' penis was eaten by fish.

Yeah, and that it was, which is often actually interpreted as making the Nile River into holy water on account of Osiris's penis.

being down there somewhere.

Or at least the little nibbled parts of it, I suppose.

So yeah, naturally, naturally adding a god's penis to water makes it holy.

Although, is it only me who gets nervous about the holy water the priest splashes on everyone at a Catholic church?

How do they make that again?

Yeah, got news for you, Jordan.

Not touching that penis joke with a 10-foot pole.

Nah.

Damn it.

That was actually another penis joke.

I'm not even trying anymore.

We don't have to try.

That's the thing about penis jokes, man.

They just pop right up.

There you go.

There it is.

Anyway, so Isis made a new penis for Osiris.

In some variations of the story, it was made from her thumb.

Others say it was made from gold.

Ooh, a golden spike.

And I don't mean the one from Promontory Point.

Is that too obscure of a reference?

Whatever.

Oh, no, not for me, man.

That's a Transcontinental Railroad joke.

I'm a history nerd.

I give that an official rating of nice.

But bottom line, the penis was a star in antiquity, certainly nothing that was censored or hidden.

It wasn't always a big penis, evoking power and masculinity.

Sometimes it was depicted as small to associate with virtues like humility and self-control.

This idea continued into the Renaissance.

For example, you may have noticed that Michelangelo's David doesn't have a particularly large member.

So I have noticed that, to be fair, and I was going to ask about that, because you would think, like, I'm going to make a sculpture of somebody or myself or the most beautiful person.

And it's like, why is he just tiny?

Yeah.

I don't get it.

Well, it is thought to be done on purpose as a statement of humility, restraint, piety.

Okay, now we're getting into size.

And it was only a matter of time, I suppose, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Well, you knew we were going there.

Yeah, let's go there, Michael.

Let's do it.

Okay.

Well, let's start by acknowledging that penis size has become an obsession, certainly in the modern era, and it has created a massive amount of anxiety amongst men.

I don't think anybody would argue that.

Yeah, I mean, how could you?

And this has ramped up in the past couple of decades for sure.

But before we get emotional about penis size, let's start with the science, the cold, hard science.

For one.

The average length of a penis is around 5.16 inches long.

That's based on a 2014 review of measurements taken by healthcare professionals who measured over 15,000 men over the age of 17.

Okay, so I looked into this.

They measure erect penises, but not all erections are created equal.

And everybody knows some guys are growers and some guys are showers.

So they use a drug called Trimix or Trimix to induce a medical erection and then measure.

And apparently you do not want a medically induced erection because they hurt.

But hey, science, am I right?

Oh, and a, there's a whole thing in certain communities where people, well, men are ordering this drug off the internet.

Do not do that because the reason I heard about this was talking to an ER doc friend of mine.

And she routinely sees these guys come in on Saturday or Sunday and they've taken this drug and it's very hard to dose, very hard.

And they come in and they go, no pun intended, they come in and they're like, I've had a painful, super painful erection for 20 hours, 16 hours, and they have to have it drained and i'll give you one guess how they do that so don't mess with this i have to say that because i was like i got to get this drug and then i asked about it and it was like the worst idea ever stick with cialis and viagra people that's the moral here wow yeah and the idea of having to drain have a doctor drain an erection is yeah yeah and it was how much blood one cup every two minutes so that's um yeah that's a gnarly procedure and it probably hurts a lot yeah and just on a side note i have heard that uh a permanent erection i can't remember the name of it now but some guys that ride motorcycles developed it.

Yeah, bikes, cyclists and stuff get it.

Yeah, from all the hammering on the taint, to use the technical term, clinical term.

You don't want it.

Okay.

You don't.

Back to the scientists that measured over 15,000 erect penises.

Their findings indicate that the average penis is around 5.1 inches long.

Full disclosure, just because we're trying to be honest here, I did find one other study that put it closer to 5.5 inches long.

And I hesitate to say that just in case there's someone out there listening with a 5.1 inch long penis that was just feeling good about the fact that they're actually average.

Even 5.5.

And look, when I look this up, there's different country data and there's different data from different eras and stuff.

The average is really a range.

And so like the accepted stuff for medical purposes is like 5.1 to 5.9 as average, which is quite a wide range, but that's kind of how it should be.

Again, though, at 5.5, that seems or sounds smaller than I thought the average would be.

Right.

That's because we've been fed a lot of jargon about eight inches this or seven inches that.

But the data is the data.

And average size globally is about five and a half inches.

And is there a correlation between like shoe size and penis size?

I heard that before.

Yeah, we've all heard that before, but no, that is a wives' tale.

And there is absolutely no scientific evidence that suggests the size of your shoes is in any way related to the size of your penis.

Didn't think so.

What about there's something with the index finger ring ratio.

Do you know about this?

Yes, I do know about this.

And actually, there is some data showing a correlation between that ratio and penis size.

And to explain, this is called the 2D, 4D ratio.

And it's the ratio of the length of your index finger to that of your ring finger.

Okay.

Okay, so results indicate that men whose index finger is shorter than their ring finger tend to have longer penises.

Okay.

I feel like we need to pause because every single guy listening to this, including me, is suddenly obsessed with his index finger and ring finger and no longer actually listening to what we're saying.

So go ahead, guys.

Compare your index and ring finger length.

Just do it now.

Get it out of your system and then obsess over this for the next decade.

Yeah, no kidding.

Well, look, and also as you're doing that, try and keep in mind that this is not an exact science.

But for all you gentlemen still out there in the dating scene, when you do meet a potential lover and you catch them staring at your sweet index finger to ring finger ratio, the appropriate response is, hey, hey, hey, my eyes are up here.

Nice.

and this is by the way a loose correlation and it doesn't work in the reverse so if your fingers are the same length that is not an indication of a small penis I see so this must have to do with something like testosterone in utero or during puberty or something like that okay you know what's not hard supporting the amazing sponsors who make this show possible we'll be right back

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All right, now back to dicks.

So now that we've been talking about penis size, I feel like it's time we get to the elephant in the room or at least do a slight diversion here.

Does size matter for, you know, sexual stuff?

Okay, and just because I've become such an expert on this I feel because you said elephants elephants don't have vaculum no penis bones for elephants no penis bones okay

let's start with the flaccid elephant in the room yeah anyway okay so all right now we're getting into it so let's start with evolution and how that can answer some of these questions I see where you're going with this humans after all have larger less spiky penises than the apes from which we evolved i saw some data on this right true the average gorilla penis when erect is about one and a quarter inches long, and the average chimp dick is about eight centimeters compared to a human average of about 13 centimeters.

And yes, I switched to centimeters for a moment so our non-American listeners can measure up.

Our balls, by the way, did not get bigger.

Just the penis.

Imagine what normal balls on a one and a quarter inch dick looks like.

Some of us don't have to imagine, sadly, but most of us have to imagine that.

And that's why gorillas can tear you apart limb from limb if you make fun of their tiny little dick.

Okay, so as we evolved, our junk got bigger.

Yeah, exactly.

Now, the science does seem to point towards sexual selection rather than natural selection as the cause for this, meaning that females chose mates with larger penises largely due to increased sexual satisfaction.

And since we're talking about millions of years of evolution before the invention of clothing, I'm guessing that was just kind of an easy thing for females to assess.

I mean, I didn't come across that in my research, but yes, that seems accurate.

So a bigger dick will be more likely to provide an orgasm to a mate than a smaller one?

Is that true?

Okay, yes, but specifically just the vaginal orgasm.

So rather than a clitoral orgasm, which I guess doesn't require a penis at all, I mean, see also oral sex and lesbians, et cetera.

Yeah, right.

And one study indicates that women are more likely to have a vaginal orgasm with a larger than average penis.

This is consistent with what I was just talking about, with a female mate choice system that favors a large penis.

However, studies have shown that length isn't always the most important measurement when it comes to penises.

That's right.

You're talking about girth, I assume.

Sure, and we're talking about a bunch of stuff.

But yes, in fact, a 2002 study asked women about the importance of length versus girth.

And while 21% responded that length was important, 33% reported girth as important.

This trend has also been observed in other studies I came across.

Still, though, that's less than half saying that either one of those things is important.

True, an excellent point.

Also, it should be noted that studies have shown that the aesthetic appearance of the penis is arguably more important.

In one study, roughly 45% of respondents judged appearance to be somewhat important, and 27% answered it was very important.

That's 72% of people saying either somewhat or very important.

So how it looks might be even more important than how it hangs.

That appears to be so, but the size of the penis does matter.

Now, don't get too stressed out just yet about this because chances are your partner is happy with your penis size.

A survey of over 50,000 heterosexual men and women found that 85% of women were satisfied with their partner's penis size.

But the same study also found that only 55% of men were satisfied with their own penis size.

Well, that checks out and is also kind of sad because guys are so down on themselves about this.

And it makes, yeah it makes so much sense but i wonder why this is okay well it's because we are constantly fed ideas that we aren't big enough yeah i mean obviously the biggest place that this the narrative is coming from is porn movies and porn movies often use camera tricks or women with small hands to make male penises look bigger than they actually are or there are penile prosthetics that sometimes are used in these films yeah i've heard of this i'm actually when i was researching this i got connected with a lot of male performers and they're doing all kinds of stuff.

Camera tricks, the women with the small hands, but also like weird enhancement stuff, pumps, all this stuff we're going to cover in the penile enhancement episode.

But yeah, prosthetics, where they just straight up put a thing over it and then they make sure that you don't zoom in too close to see it.

And this all contributes to negative self-image, negative self-worth, both of which obviously can affect things down south.

One, confidence, but not only confidence outside the bedroom, but inside the bedroom as well.

Absolutely.

In fact, men often internalize insecurity because they think they don't measure up, literally.

And this can cause anxiety and stress, which are contributors to sexual dysfunction, of course.

Yeah, anxiety is a huge player in things like erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and other performance issues.

How is somebody going to love your penis if you don't even love your penis?

I guess that's the question.

Oh, you know what?

That could be the title of your next book, Jordan.

Yes.

And look, men who feel like their penis isn't big enough often don't have as much confidence,

which in turn makes them less attractive.

That's just like a shitty feedback loop, yeah?

Yeah, and this is where education comes in.

We need to let people know stuff like penises bend.

It's normal.

They vary in color and texture and temperature.

Okay, I knew about color.

I suppose texture makes sense, but dick temperature, that's a thing.

Yeah.

That can vary too.

It's not always the hot beef injection.

Sometimes it's just the room temperature beef injection.

And as far as orgasms go, it's not just the penis at play.

It involves the nervous system, the endocrine system, the cardiovascular system, and a lot of mental stuff too.

Research indicates that other factors like emotional intimacy and sexual technique are more important to sexual satisfaction than size.

Yeah.

And as somebody who's, like, I guess I should just out myself, who's been around the block probably more than they should have been as a respectable guy, that totally rings true.

This is my experience exactly, right?

It's just when you know what you're doing and you are close to the person, it's just a million times better.

And rarely do you hear much of anything else.

And I mean, part of this is going to be, you know, my experience.

I've only had sort of one set of gear in my whole life, but it just sounds like we need to really calm down about the whole penis size thing.

It's just never been an issue for most guys other than an issue in their own head.

Yeah, I mean, it's true.

We have to calm down about it, but we also need to take care of your penis because taking care of your penis is also taking care of your health.

Reducing stress, getting good sleep, drinking lots of water, get that collagen, get that vital proteins, collagen in your system.

Use our code when you buy it.

Maybe I will, Jordan.

Maybe I will.

But you're right.

These are all things that are good for the penis and also good for us in general.

Pelvic floor exercises, Kagles, Kagls.

Right.

Yeah.

Kaggles.

Yeah.

That too.

Studies have shown that pelvic floor exercises, aka Kagles, enhance erectile function.

These exercises can help address erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation.

I will say, Kagles have been kind to me.

I've been doing them for years.

There's an app for that.

There's many apps for that.

We can link to a few in the show notes.

They're free.

And for the thing that causes men to have a one-track mind, I will say the penis sure is complex, but I don't want to alienate those listeners who don't have a penis.

I hope they're entertained, but I want them to learn as well.

Well, actually, there's a pretty good chance the ladies listening to this podcast are as interested as the fellas.

Just asked Sigmund Freud.

I mean, look, we really can't talk about penises without at least addressing his theory.

According to Sigmund Freud, girls experience penis envy during early childhood development, basically a sense of loss or incompleteness because they don't have a penis.

Okay, but is that true, though?

I just, I don't know.

Yeah, well, okay, fine.

Full disclosure, Freud's theories have been widely rejected by modern psychology.

Modern psychologists don't believe that girls experience envy and a sense of incompleteness anymore.

They just chalk it up to little girls being very, very curious about this thing they don't have.

Yeah, so in other words, human nature, but you could also easily flip flip the script and suggest all young boys have womb envy or that teenage boys have boob envy.

I mean, it's not really a thing, I don't think.

Yeah, you're 100% right.

And either way, these theories highlight just how much we project identity onto our genitals.

I'm reminded of the hueva doce, Michael.

We talked about them before.

I can't remember why.

Yeah, we did talk about them, and they are a group in the Dominican Republic who have a rare genetic condition.

At birth, they appear female, and at around age 12, they grow a penis.

Uava doce literally means penis at 12, which is kind of funny.

Yeah, it's fascinating.

Look into them if you're interested.

And there are many people out there who are considered intersex because they have genitalia with both male and female characteristics.

Intersex?

I think I've heard of that.

That's fascinating.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I mean,

hermaphrodite, I think, is the term that used to be used back in the day.

Is that pejorative now?

Because that sounds kind of pejorative now.

I don't know.

In the research, he said intersex, but

hermaphrodit used to be what they would say back in the day.

But yeah, I think a more clinical term probably is hermaphrodite sounds like, I don't know.

Yeah.

It's sort of in the bucket in my brain where mulatto is, and it's like, eh, we don't say that anymore.

Yeah.

Or like how my dad describes my wife as Oriental, even though he means Asian.

And it's like, it's not racist, but it's like, eh, it's not the preferred nomenclature, man.

You know?

Yeah.

To quote the big Lebowski.

I have found that a lot of forgiveness.

I'm Italian.

So the old Italian men in my life, it's just, why bother?

You would waste so much time trying to correct all the things they say that are no longer said in polite company.

But I just say, born at a different time, I forgive you, old racist Italian man.

All right.

So I guess the bottom line is you're not weird.

You're not different.

You're not inadequate no matter what is happening or not happening in your pants.

But, you know, try telling that to that big, bossy, omnipotent presence.

culture and society.

Oh, yeah, you are correct.

Society has for a long time been telling men that they are inadequate if they don't have a prize package.

And with the advent of high-speed internet porn, there is a literal epidemic of men feeling inadequate.

I have heard, and I talked to a lot of guys about this in preparation for this.

There are young men who are so insecure about their penises that they're not even texting photos of them to everybody that they meet, which is such a shame.

Oh my God, I feel so bad for those boys.

Yeah.

I know.

The dick pic, which, although that was a good joke, is more of a symptom of our culture's obsession, but the dick pic actually helps me to illustrate a point everyone's heard of men sending photos in which they add something for scale i see so like uh in my case a red bull can or something so the viewer gets a sense of the actual size yeah exactly i'm kidding people but yeah go ahead continue

Right, but similar in porn, camera tricks, like we said, influence the perception of the penis size.

The scale can be manipulated in order to fool the viewer.

Also, as we said, and this blew my mind, female actors are sometimes cast not because they have big boobs, but because they have little hands.

One thinks of women being cast in porn because, yeah, they've got the big boobs and they got the, but you're saying that the small hands is almost like, I guess it depends on the target market.

That is so funny somehow.

Yeah.

And look, porn is determined to bolster the narrative that big is better.

And it's not just small hands, camera angles.

lighting tricks, wide angle lenses.

These are all the tricks they're doing, including, and I came across this one like just recently while researching this.

It's known in the porn world as the stunt cock.

Have you heard about this?

Yeah, but I don't, I thought that was a joke.

What is that?

No, no, no.

That's literally when they'll cast one actor, maybe because he's handsome or whatever, in a scene, but the close-ups, they switch in a different guy with a bigger penis.

I see.

So like one dude is ripped and young and handsome and the other guy is like some middle-aged dude, but he just has a giant dong and they're like, all right, stunt cock, get in there.

And then they close up and then the other guy goes, this is so ridiculous.

Remind me, though, to take my next dick pic next to one of those 7.5 ounce cans of Coca-Cola that my wife got for the kids.

I feel like that's a good, that's, that's probably a, probably a little cheat code right there.

Speaking of tricks, the guys I know, again, who I connected with who do porn, they're fond of these penis pumps.

And I know we'll probably do a lot more with these in our enhancement episode that comes out this week.

Yeah, but I think that it's worth mentioning the penis pump in this episode.

Let's do it because the penis pump, what they do is they increase length and girth temporarily.

Porn actors use them for right before going on camera.

And the end result is, again, that average guys see this and then they feel inadequate.

And so this is actually doing real harm.

This is not just kind of like, ha ha, they use penis pumps and then guys think they have a small dick.

The more I looked into this, the more I see there's a lot of guys that are so hung up on this.

They're not even talking to women because they feel like, oh, what's the point?

I could never get intimate with them because I have a small dick, even though they're completely average most of the time.

Yeah, that is such a good point.

And although we didn't really cover it here, I'm curious if women's perceptions of penis size have changed as a result of porn as well.

I'm guessing they would have had to have.

Yeah, that's interesting.

I've heard of, I mean, this is a little bit of a misogynistic term, but it's called girl inches.

Yeah.

And so women will say like, I had a guy with a 14-inch dick.

And it's like, not physically possible.

No one on earth has ever measured that.

It's clearly not true.

Right.

Maybe the guy lied to you, or maybe you just said that and you, you misestimate.

Cause I don't know about you, man, but I've hooked up with

a decent amount of women.

Zero of them have ever brought a tape measure into the bedroom.

So it's just kind of rule of thumb, mood of the day, how drunk you are at the point in time.

And then they're like, oh, it's giant or it's small or who cares?

I mean, it's doesn't, none of it, it's not scientific, I think is where I'm going with this.

Right.

And it's affecting men.

I mean, insecurity, depression, not only does this feed into anxiety for men, it creates an entire market for products and surgeries to fix a problem that many men are only convinced they have.

It's not real.

In fact, here's a little snippet of info for you.

Penis sizes are up.

What do you mean they're up?

This is what I found.

According to a study published in 2023, the average penis length has increased by 24%.

All right, all right, all right.

Let's hear it for the boys, I guess.

Wow, okay.

Yeah, but so penis sizes are up 24%, but you won't be surprised to find that according to Google, searches about penis pumps are up 70% in the last several years.

Wow.

So let's take a moment to discuss penis pumps.

Why not?

Which are in fact widely used on porn sets, although not widely advertised, to make penises larger and girthier.

Well, that's what they're for.

So a man becomes insecure because he saw porn, which makes him seem inadequate, but the porn star himself was using camera angles and penis pumps because he was also inadequate.

Right.

So an insecure person goes out and buys a penis pump to try and make himself as big as the guy that needed a penis pump to look that big in the first place.

Another crappy feedback loop.

Not good.

Right.

And side note, penis pumps have been around for a long time.

American physician John King is credited with having invented them in 1874.

It was then and is now basically just a vacuum tube.

Kind of like that Brazilian cave insects.

But yeah, it's a vacuum tube that you put your penis in and then pump the air out.

The resulting suction can both cause an erection, but also all that extra blood it's pulling.

It causes extra size.

That seems dangerous in so many ways because of the way it unevenly inflates and whatnot.

In fact, it is.

One of the doctors I connected with on the enhancement stuff, and I'm sure we'll get more into this in the enhancement app, he was like, those are bad news.

They can do a lot of damage.

They can discolor your penis, make it look really gross.

And as we just learned, looks are more important than size.

So, all right, in a society that seems to be size-obsessed, is it really a good thing that, I mean, I guess it's a good thing that you can do something about the size, but then you're trading potentially the health of your penis.

I don't know.

Kind of.

I suppose now is a good time to talk about the downside.

of super size.

All right.

And perhaps having a giant penis isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Let's start with how big is really big.

Anything over eight inches, and you're in the top 99.99 percentile of penises.

You mean in terms of length, right?

Because there's also width and that makes a volume calculation.

Yes, and we get a little bit into that in a moment.

But yeah, anything bigger than eight inches and you've got what's known as, and quote, and this is what I read in a paper, a problematically large penis.

Yes.

And that is according to Dr.

Brian Steichsner.

He is the medical director of urology at Barton Health.

And that is per data in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

I've been been talking to a lot of guys of various size, especially guys with giant ones.

I know that sounds horrific, but it was so, this has been the most fascinating month of research of my entire life.

Anyway, these guys have real, real problems.

And we'll get into a little bit of this.

But yeah, if you're over like eight inches, your clothes don't fit well.

There's guys that have not been able to fit inside their partners.

There's a lot of people that can't wear underwear very well, or they get kicked out of water parks because like

people are like, oh, look at this pervert.

And it's like, no, I'm flaccid, but what are you you gonna do explain that to every mom who's covering their kids eyes that you're not erect because you're bigger than their husband is when you're flaccid i mean how is that gonna work right so there's all kinds of stuff like that and then believe it or not like yeah it might be cool like oh man so-and-so's got a giant dick uh high school it's funny but then it's like Now you don't know if you're just being passed around like

to other women.

I mean, these guys have real issues.

There's a lot of them get broken up with because they can't fit inside their partner.

It's so sad because by the time you're about to get intimate, you already like the person, right?

You might even already be in love with the person, depending on how sex is for you, how early in the relationship you do it.

So it's really, really not good.

Let me try to lighten this up.

Large penises also have other funny clinical terms like megalophallus, which I think is a great nickname to have.

But again, I'm trivializing these people's real problems.

What other kind of problems did you come across in your research?

You actually kind of highlighted exactly where I'm going with because most of the problems are not medical problems for the possessor of the, and I'm going to go ahead and use the actual clinical term here, which is ginormous wiener.

Okay.

Let's start with the obvious.

Right.

So the one thing that comes up over and over and over in my conversations with these guys is that it's painful for the partner.

Right.

And I'm talking about like, you need 30 minutes of foreplay to even be able to get it in.

And before that, it's a no-go.

It's not just painful.

It physically won't work.

Jesus, 30 minutes of foreplay.

Who's got the time anymore?

I know what you mean.

Yeah.

And by the way, it's not just painful.

It can be dangerous.

A ginormous wiener can actually rupture rupture things inside a partner so just try and imagine putting your patented moves into a lovemaking session only to find your partner doubled over in excruciating pain all right stay tuned for some sizable deals from the amazing sponsors that support this show we'll be right back

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Now for the rest of Skeptical Sunday.

Well, the other thing is, you know, those days back when you were young and virile where you could actually have sex like multiple times per day?

Yeah.

Well, none of these guys that I talked to were able to do that.

There's often a two-day recovery or more between when their partner can do this again because the friction is a completely different if you've got, let's say, a six-inch girth instead of a 4.5-inch girth.

It's just not even close.

So you're not going to be able to do that more than a couple of times a week, max.

Wow, that's so interesting.

And sometimes it's like, oh, she bleeds.

This is TMI, but you know, oh, she bleeds every time.

And so, you know, that's got to heal up.

And like sometimes when you're married for 10 or 20 years, sometimes the woman's like, I'm over it.

I just, I don't want to deal with this anymore.

And then it leads to a dead bedroom.

So we're out here being like, oh, these guys who are hung, man, they're so awesome.

They must be having so much sex.

Some of them are having no sex because of this.

Yeah.

Or very little.

Yeah, it sucks.

I mean, it can be stressful.

Yeah.

Imagine you just said it, meeting someone, you really like them, and you have to wait for that right moment to let them know, hey, I'm really enjoying hanging out with you, but I need you to know I have a giant penis.

Right.

And it could be challenging, possibly painful for you.

And like, at what point on your dates do you mention this and don't sound like you're just bragging?

And then if she does, it's like, oh, okay.

So, and if you do it early, it's like you're only going to get size queens and you're, everyone else is going to be like, what a jerk.

He's talking about his penis.

Yeah.

If you wait 10 dates, okay, now you find out that you literally can't be intimate with this person at all.

And you went on 10 dates and you both really like each other.

I mean, it's just, it's kind of terrible.

It's a a curse in many ways.

It does sound like it.

I mean, it's almost like the person that has to divulge to a partner that they have, you know, herpes or something like that.

Herpes, yeah, exactly.

I mean, look, if I had to pick between herpes and a giant dick, I know what I would choose, but it's still not good.

Yeah.

So, yeah, not the desired result at all.

I mean, we already got a little TMI here, but might as well continue that most guys with this particular abnormality say that oral sex is pretty much out of the question, particularly for the girthier gentlemen.

Most partners can't give it because they can't open their mouth that wide.

And if they can, and I'm going to get particularly crude here.

Now you're worried about getting crude.

Okay, I think we just talked about draining erections with a needle, among many other things.

Anyway, anyone still listening at this point, I think, can handle this five.

Okay, if a partner can open their mouth big enough to perform oral sex on a ginormous penis, according to the guys, it's all teeth.

Okay.

And that is because of the girth.

And because we talked about girth, average girth, by the way, is 4.5 inches, which is interesting because that's just not a figure we can like, unless you're, I don't know, you make dowel rods for a living.

You hear eight inches for a penis.

You're like, okay, I can picture that.

But in my mind, I have no idea what 4.5 girthy inches is.

It's tough.

And you think like, oh, an inch and a half isn't a big deal or one inch isn't a big deal.

4.5, 5.5.

This is the difference between.

a normal average penis and a vitamin bottle, which like after the show, go ahead and grab a vitamin bottle or just measure the bottom, measure the circumference, and then try and fit it in your mouth if it's 5.5 or 6 inches.

Not going to happen.

So, guys with ginormous penises either don't get oral sex at all, or they say get some version of it that's not as enjoyable, or they have to date someone who can freaking unhinge their jaw like a boa constrictor.

So, good luck.

Yeah.

And, you know, Amy, you already mentioned it, but it bears repeating that reputational thing for guys.

You know, some of these guys, when they're younger it's flattering you know known as the guy with the big schlong but as they get older and they get on with their life they don't want that to be the first thing you think of when you you see them you know it's like this is joe he's been working with doctors without borders for 10 years he has three beautiful children and apparently he's freaking huge yeah exactly I know that people are probably wondering, like, what's the biggest dick in the world?

And there was this guy who said that he clocked in over, I think it was like 13 inches, but I looked into this and it's just total nonsense.

He like tried to have it scientifically validated, but it turned out to be a bunch of trickery and crap.

I mean, look, 13 inches, not quite on par with our little barnacle friend who has a penis eight times the size of his body, but let's say the ones that are scientifically validated that I found like nine, 10 inches, they kind of top out at like 10 inches.

And even 10 inches is like, you can't really find one of those in the wild, even in the places where I was looking where all the people are who are complaining about this stuff.

So it's kind of like nine and a half, 10 inches is, let's just say, say, the top.

Yeah.

I mean, John Holmes, I looked into it because he's one of the most famous big penises in history and not scientifically verified in any way.

Of course, porn stars are never going to allow that, right?

Because you're going to find out that it's 8.2 inches with a bunch of camera tricks, small hands, et cetera.

They're not going to want that out there.

Yeah, but the bottom line is they are problematic, these guys that fantasize about having a giant penis.

In fact, there's some evidence that these ginormous penises, they have trouble staying hard.

You know, sometimes it's a lot of blood, you know, and once you're not a young man anymore, that can be problematic for you.

That's right.

How much Viagra do you have to take to make a 10-inch dong erect, a whole bottle, half the bottle?

No, definitely not.

In fact, that's not how Viagra works.

Just because you said it, we'll have a little public service announcement.

Taking too much Viagra can be highly dangerous, can have bad side effects.

So even if you have a giant penis, just take the doctor-recommended dose.

That is probably really smart.

Okay, so we've talked about ginormous penises.

So there are guys out there, and I ran into this in my research, who have either just below average or like small, it's called a micro penis.

And I forget what the scientific definition of this is, but it's, you know, it's not.

Okay, we'll get into that.

And right off the bat, I got to point out that we're talking about two different things here.

Ginormous penises, whatever you want to call it, is just a colloquialism that we throw around.

I think swinging around would be the more appropriate analogy for a giant penis, but go off.

Let's talk about the small penis.

Okay, very good.

But yeah, again, giant penis, ginormous penis, long schlong, titanic tallywhacker, whatever you want to say, these are just schoolyard slang.

Whereas micropenis is an actual medical term for an unusually small penis.

Yeah, okay, we knew that.

Thanks, Doc.

Yeah, okay.

Well, what you might not know is that a micropenis is diagnosed by a doctor and is defined as being 2.5 deviations smaller than the mean penis.

But you say this is a medical condition.

So what is the, what's actually the medical condition?

Okay, well, it could be one of a number of conditions, but the most common is hormonal.

Let's talk about how a, and I use this term loosely because there is no normal in penises, but let's talk about how a normal penis develops.

In early pregnancy, around seven to 12 weeks, males develop testes.

These testes produce testosterone.

Testosterone produces dihydrotestosterone or DHT.

and adequate levels of these hormones lead to an adequate penis, which on a side note, I've been told I have.

Adequate?

Whoa, high praise.

Yeah, highest praise ever.

So I'm guessing a disruption of that hormone in early pregnancy is what leads to a micropenis.

So this is something that happens in the womb.

Okay.

Absolutely.

And you'd be correct.

Okay.

And this can be due to a number of conditions, including some genetic conditions like Kalman syndrome and Prater-Willey syndrome.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I swear I'm not trying to be insensitive here, but one of the genetic syndromes that leads to a micropenis is called Prater-Willey syndrome.

Okay.

I'm 12.

Okay, Okay, fine.

Damn it.

It is named for the scientists who discovered it.

I know it has to be.

Yes.

Okay.

And what they discovered was that this is a problem with a chromosome, which leads to actually insatiable hunger throughout the person's life that has this syndrome.

It leads to obesity, but it also leads to small features like hands, feet, and penises.

It actually can be pretty devastating.

Yeah, this is terrible.

Now I feel like a horrible person.

Small hands, small feet, small penis, but you're also insatiably hungry, so you're fat too.

Like, all right, oh, God, this is terrible.

Okay, so here's a question.

If a hormonal deficiency causes micropenises, can a hormone replacement type of thing fix a micropenis, or is it just sort of too late?

That is actually a great question, and the answer is yes, particularly in infancy.

Oh, nice.

Which is great news for not just the infant, but also for the parents, as these can be incredibly difficult circumstances.

Yeah.

In my research, I came across an article in a medical journal debating the idea that boys born with micropenises might actually be better off if they're raised as girls due to the devastating emotional effects of a micropenis.

Wow, that is extreme.

That doesn't sound like a good idea, but I'm also like, well,

what is a good idea instead?

Yikes, that's wow.

Okay.

On a total side note, in that article, I came across a case of a child that lost its penis altogether in a botched circumcision.

I had to think to myself, man, that is one seriously botched circumcision, way worse than the one on Seinfeld where Jerry's finger got snipped.

Oh, that's terrible.

We're going to get far more into the solutions to micropenises in our next episode.

Again, about penis enhancement.

Let's just say that a micropenis, like all sized penises, is not to be made fun of.

I mean, I laughed at the Prater-Willie syndrome thing because of the name, but like the condition itself is no joke.

Okay, so we just alluded to it.

This feels like a good place to talk about it.

Let's take a moment and discuss the natural look versus stylized penis.

Can we do that?

Yeah, also known as American style versus European style.

The turtleneck vis-a-vis the crew neck.

Right.

Cut versus uncut, circumcised versus uncircumcised.

And I will say, I got to tell you, the first time that I saw an uncircumcised penis, you know, when you're an adult and you see something you've never seen before in your life and your brain just goes, I have no reference point for this and I'm so confused.

Wow.

That's what was happening to me.

I went to a sauna.

in a gym in Germany in 1998 and I was like, I don't understand what's going on.

And it took me forever to be like, oh, duh, circumcision.

Right.

Because because it's not something people talk about really as adults and I just remember going what in the actual hell am I looking at it was such a bizarre experience for me that is crazy so now's a good time for a little full disclosure and since I discussed this at length in my new comedy special out this year look for it I was circumcised at age 15.

Wow.

Well, okay, news to me.

I guess we have an expert on the yellow snip snip surgery here.

Woof.

Yeah, well, probably not an expert, but I think I can speak to the pressures a young man feels if he's different from other young men.

The old gym shower thing doing its thing on me, you know?

And here in the United States of America, we have made a choice, a penis choice.

We are the land of the free of foreskin and the home of the bravely chopping them off.

And whereas in many places in the world, people don't do that.

They just assume little babies are perfect as they are and they don't alter them.

Well, since circumcision is part of the Jewish tradition, I'm guessing that all this started as a religious ritual, kind of, or no?

You know what?

That's not even clear.

Okay.

The earliest recorded depiction of circumcision comes from about 2400 BCE in Egypt.

It's depicted in a tomb and in hieroglyphs.

It was possibly a rite of passage in manhood or a symbol of cleanliness or a social status.

So not a religious command, huh?

I would have guessed that the only way to get a guy to cut part of his body off or his son's body would be if the creator literally ordered him to do it because wow, tall order.

Yeah, well, that actually did come next in the Hebrew Bible, Genesis 17.

God commanded Abraham to circumcise himself and all male descendants as a sign of a covenant between God and man, or I guess, in this case, God and men specifically.

Yeah, that's the story I vaguely remember.

Yeah, me too, but I don't remember at Sunday school, Sister Lorraine teaching us 1 Samuel 18, 25 through 27.

Yeah, I don't know what that is.

What is that?

Well, we already talked about David.

It's the sequel to the old David and Goliath story.

Oh, okay.

Is this where David circumcises a giant?

Wait, no.

I don't want to think about how big that penis is.

I might be confusing my stories, Michael.

Yeah, I think you might.

No, not exactly.

It's more about David circumcising a giant number of people.

You see, David became quite famous after slaying Goliath, so famous that he began courting the daughter of King Saul.

And as I'm sure you've already guessed, King Saul asked for the very standard price from David for his daughter's hand of 100 bloody foreskins.

Ugh.

Was the bank closed that day?

Why bloody foreskin?

Oh, why bloody foreskins?

Yeah, the bank must have been closed that day, but our hero David came through with flying colors because he showed up with 200 bloody foreskins.

Oh, oh, man, I'm seeing why they leave that part out of the children's books depicting the story of David and Goliath.

That is so weird.

Yeah, well, the takeaway from the story is circumcision was a big deal, and not just to Jewish folk.

In the ancient world, the Syrians and the Phoenicians also practiced it.

Many years later, the Islamic world would adopt the practice, although it's not a religious commandment for them.

In Christianity, though, not being circumcised was a selling point.

So Paul, one of the earliest prophets of Christianity, Paul speaks of this in Galatians.

You have to remember, Christianity was just a sect of Judaism back then.

And as a selling point to converts who would convert to Christianity, they were like, hey, convert to this new sect of Judaism called Christianity, and you don't have to saw off the end of your penis to join our group, eh?

Yeah, not a bad offer.

Let's be frank here, though.

Ancient people were practicing it because, well, things got a little nasty under the hood, the foreskin, as it were, back in the days before soap and clean water, right?

Isn't that kind of where this came from?

I mean, that is absolutely my assumption, too, but it's hard to say.

But that is certainly a justification for why people do it nowadays.

In the 19th century, Western medicine began to promote the idea for cleanliness, disease reduction, and this one surprised me.

They believed it reduced the chances of masturbation.

Oh, God.

Well, you were circumcised at age 15.

Did it have that effect on you?

I'm here to report that the notion that circumcision reduces masturbation is total bullshit.

Yeah.

Here in America, it wasn't until after World War II that it just became the norm to snip the boys.

And this is the world we grew up in.

It was in the post-World War II gym showers that I started to feel different and felt the need to have the incredibly awkward conversation with my parents that I ended up having.

Yeah, but you were an adult or almost an adult, so it was, you know, it was your choice.

I know a lot of the debate nowadays has to do with the fact that the person you're altering is not consenting because they're literally a baby.

Yeah, yeah.

And in fact, this is a hotly debated issue now.

The kids growing up in this America now will see a vastly changed gym shower as many parents are choosing against it.

In fact, in Germany and Denmark, They're even discussing the legality of non-consensual circumcision.

These are, of course, incredibly hotly debated topics as they are trying to ban long-held and revered religious practices.

We did an episode on circumcision on a skeptical Sunday, actually, and I go into detail about my decision-making process with my son because T-L-D-R,

we didn't do that to him.

And there's,

look, it's kind of a 50-50 thing, and I was like, I'll just let him make his choice.

And if there's a problem, you know, we'll take care of it.

Anyway, you've had it both ways.

Which do you prefer, if I may ask?

Jesus, I almost said it's hard to say.

And then I realized, another penis joke.

Why not?

It's difficult to say because I wake up in the morning and I like who I am.

I don't feel like I need to change, but I also have no idea what I would have felt like if I didn't have the snip snip.

I guess I can just say that I truly don't feel like any harm has come to me as a result of the procedure.

Side note, when I was 15, I got the SNP set.

My best friend at the time used a fake ID to get a tattoo, and he has tons of regrets about getting the leprechaun giving the middle finger tattoo he has on his right arm that I have about the fact that I excommunicated my foreskin from the Church of Regilio.

Yeah, wow.

I'm going to be honest, penises are way more complicated than I ever imagined.

And when I researched this, I feel like I got at least a master's degree in penology

as a result of this.

This and the next episode.

Is that the actual term?

Did you just make that?

No, no, I just made that up.

I don't think that's a real thing.

If it is, it probably doesn't mean what it sounds like it means.

Yeah, I would imagine.

But you're right.

If you've got a penis, try and love and care for it, no matter how big or small or curved or veiny or snipped it is.

But you can get rid of the curve.

Maybe we'll talk about that in the enhancement episode.

Anyway, stop stressing about it being too small or not good enough.

And if you stress about it too much or it gives you a lower sense of self-worth, you're sabotaging your self-confidence and you're sabotaging your attractiveness.

And so the best advice really is to just love your wiener.

Yeah.

Well, most guys I know are way ahead of you on that particular revelation.

That's true.

Because no matter what you got going on down there, just be happy that it's no longer covered in spikes.

Unless it is, then love that too.

Hey, if you've got a spiky barbed penis, and I'm pretty sure you don't, love that too.

Just, I don't know, wear gloves or something.

Oh, and again, we're not done with dicks, y'all.

I usually don't do spoilers, but we're going to go down what I will again say is a girthy rabbit hole on the subject.

So stay tuned next week for an episode on penile enhancement where you will get way.

way, way too much information about penile enhancement and about me personally.

So we both did some seriously penetrating research for that episode.

That we did.

Thanks everyone for listening.

Topic suggestions for future episodes of Skeptical Sunday to Jordan at jordanharbinger.com.

Show notes on the website, advertisers, deals, discount codes, ways to support the show, all at jordanharbinger.com slash deals.

I'm at Jordan Harbinger on both Twitter and Instagram.

You can also connect with me on LinkedIn.

You can find Michael Regilio at Michael Regilio on Instagram.

We'll also link to that in the show notes because nobody can spell Regilio.

And his comedy special comes out in the fall, we'll make sure we keep you updated on that.

This show is created in association with Podcast One.

My team is Jen Harbinger, Jace Sanderson, Tadas Sedlowskis, Robert Fogarty, Ian Baird, and Gabriel Mizrahi.

Our advice and opinions are our own, and I am a lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer.

Do your own research before implementing things you hear on the show.

And if it's this episode, definitely contact your doctor.

Remember, we rise by lifting others.

Share the show with those you love.

If you found the episode useful, please share it with somebody else who could use a good dose of the skepticism and knowledge we doled out here today.

In the meantime, I hope you apply what you hear on the show so you can live what you learn.

And we'll see you next time.

What if the most powerful painkiller, memory booster, and mood shifter wasn't in your medicine cabinet, but in your playlist?

Well, experiential fusion is a term coined by Richard Davidson at University of Wisconsin-Madison, who works closely with the Dalai Lama about altered states and meditative states and such.

And the idea is that it's sometimes referred to as flow, although it's slightly different, a flow state.

You're in the zone if you're a basketball player or if you're a coder, you just lose track of time.

But the experiential fusion that you and I are talking about with music is that under the right circumstances, you forget that you're listening to music.

You might even forget who you are.

You become one with the experience.

There is an evidence base now for music therapies and music interventions.

We know that music

can affect the immune system in several ways.

Listening to pleasurable music can increase levels of immunoglobulin A, an important antibody that travels to the site of mucosal infections and help fights them off.

We know that music that is pleasurable to you can increase the production of natural killer cells and T cells, also important for fighting disease and infection.

Some music can lead to reductions in inflammation.

Why music does this and why the immune system responds to it, we don't know.

But it does.

For more on how music hacks your brain's chemistry to heal in ways that medicine can't, check out episode 1147 with neuroscientist Daniel J.

Leviton.

Before we wrap up, I want to give a quick shout out to friend and contributor to this show, Michael Regilio.

He's got a brand new comedy special out called Warbar.

It dropped on October 7th on Amazon Prime.

It's produced by Jack Vaughan, the guy behind specials for legends like Bo Burnham and Jim Gaffigan, Norm McDonald, a ton more.

If you dig smart comedy, definitely check out Warbar when it drops.

Michael's a friend of the show, genuinely.

I find him funny in person just naturally, probably by accident.

I'm not sure if that's a compliment, Michael.

I'm sorry.

But anyway, you don't have to take my word for it.

Be skeptical and stream Warbar on Amazon Prime video for yourself.

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