Everyone's a Critic

This episode of the Lonely Island Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Maker's Mark.

We are celebrating Women's History Month by recognizing the spirited women in our lives and remembering Maker's Mark co-founder Margie Samuels.

You too can celebrate the spirited women in your life with a free personalized label to go with a bottle of Maker's Mark.

Head to makersmarkpersonalize.com and fill in the details in order to create and mail your custom label.

Makers Mark makes their bourbon carefully.

Please enjoy it that way.

Maker's Mark, Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 45% alcohol per volume.

Copyright 2025, Maker's Mark Distillery, Incorporated, Loretto, Kentucky.

The lonely Ivan and Seth Meyers Podcast show.

So, hi everybody.

Welcome to the podcast.

We've just completed a group rewatch of Everyone's a Critic, and there's a lot to unpack.

Fucking hell.

A lot going on there.

A lot of laughs.

I laughed way more than I was expecting re-watching that.

I'd forgotten a lot of things.

That's the second time I've watched it today, and I laughed a lot.

I mean, I laughed more watching you guys re-watch it probably for the first time in 15 years.

Yeah.

I was surprised.

It had a lot of surprises for me.

It took its time.

One of the most surprising things is length.

It might be one of the longest digital shorts.

Yeah, the beginning.

It had a nice, leisurely pace that I didn't mind.

Yeah, not rushing it, almost four minutes long.

And first of all, there is a warning at the beginning of the video that caught us.

Yeah, now that caught us all by surprise, but of course makes perfect sense once you watch it.

Yeah, once we watch it, I was like, yes, of course, now that would be there.

But it was very helpful to put it on.

And there is a warning saying that there are scenes of people committing self-harm.

Yeah.

Because I had completely forgotten, of course, where it was going.

And that is an appropriate warning to have at the beginning of this.

So, should we just talk it through from the top?

Sure.

How do you guys want to go about it?

Yeah, let's do it.

I was impressed at the length of the top.

It was really taking its sweet time in a very leisurely way.

Do you remember what gave you the idea?

Because it seems like it's a bunch of ideas at once.

I think maybe, correct me if I'm wrong, gentlemen, I had a note written down in my like ideas notes that was just, may I paint you?

Yeah, yeah.

Based on Titanic?

Was it, wasn't it?

Yeah, like the Titanic moment, but being, you know, we were already friendly with Rudd and knowing that he had done all that Stella stuff and would like that tone.

And being like, that's a good start for something is me going into his dressing room and being like, May I paint you?

And then cutting to the Titanic shop.

And then that was all we had.

And I think then we just started pitching on weird things that could happen with it and it evolved.

That sounds right.

Yeah.

I can't remember when that song was developed because after you guys started painting each other, then to get in the mood of painting, we put on a song.

Andy puts it on first.

It had to be before

we shot.

It was.

We knew we were going to do it.

But I feel like that was a type of singing.

I'm going to give you the most credit for it, Yorm.

And then I would join in with you.

But I think it's a type of singing you had been doing for a long time.

Oh, the type of singing, yes.

But I will say, to give you credit, Keeve, because

we had this shitty series of web clip, it was called Web Clip Empire, a series of C Ds.

I like that we're talking about it, like that type of singing.

Yeah, like it exists.

You know, Yorm was the first person to do it like there's ever been a second person.

No, everyone does it.

His signature style that has been ripped off a billion times.

Well, hey, hold on, let's wait till we get to the music to talk about that music.

All right, sure.

We don't want to rush this.

So Andy walks in and says to Paul, may I paint you?

It's very nice.

It's very grounded.

It's very Titanic.

We then see Andy painting a naked Paul.

I get so self-conscious.

Here.

Maybe a little music will help you relax.

relax.

Oh, I love this.

Yeah.

And it's me and Keeve doing it.

A little spooky and a little surprised.

Yeah.

It was both of us.

Me and Yorm in the office.

I remember us very lovingly just around the mic going, oh,

but Keeve, that is Webclip Empire, right?

The music empire?

It might be, or it might just be some library track.

I'm not sure if it is.

Yeah.

Anyway, we use this one series of CDs a lot for shitty music.

In my notes, while I was re-watching it, you are wrote, I hate it, love it so much.

It was trying my patience in the best possible way.

Can I say something about that?

Because you guys all complimenting me.

I'll put that in the compliment column of that kind of singing.

John Solomon, at one point, found there was a group of scientists who tried to make the worst song in the world.

And it's called The Worst Music.

I can't remember what it was.

It's a 20-something plus-minute song.

and every part of it sounds exactly like something I would make.

And he was just like, Oh my god, this is exactly like that, has high-pitched, like, yo-yo, like, it has rapping and yodeling, and it's just it's fucking, yeah, anyway, it is good, I've heard it.

It spoke to you, it spoke to me, yeah.

Uh, I believe, Keeve and Yorm, that we maybe wrote into into the script, it's like a terrible song.

And then we shot it because I, my recollection now is when I first saw the first edit was the first time I heard what you guys had made and laughing so.

I think that's how I remember it happening too.

Yeah, I think you recorded it after we shot.

As a fun thing for Andy to hear.

Now, it is doubly funny to know that Paul and Andy can't hear that song when you go back and watch it.

Yeah, we just had faith.

Because it almost feels as though a crime has been committed against you.

In the edit, a crime was committed.

The only way to get anybody to groove to the song you made is not to play it until it's too late.

You paint Paul, and then Paul says, may I paint you?

A very nice move.

We see you and your t-shirt is on, so we think you might be dressed, but then

you are not wearing pants.

Yes, correct.

The camera just caresses your leg hair.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Long shot.

It's caressing body, thinking you're not going to see a full-on genitalia shot.

Blurred, of course, and then it's right there for you again.

Just the same one twice in a row.

But I would say the second shot is a tasteful length.

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah.

Pun very much intended.

Then you go look at Paul's painting and you say, I think we can sell this.

And then we cut to an art auction.

Fred as the auctioneer.

Abby Elliott as his assistant.

Can I rewind?

Yeah.

Isn't that cool?

What if I didn't have anything to say?

I just wanted to make that sound.

The moment when he's painting me and he says, how about some music?

And he turns it on.

And I go, oh, I love this song.

Thinking that maybe now we didn't know what the music was going to be, it does make sense that our plan was that it would be a different song, the way I say it.

It definitely does.

I'm sure it was going to be.

I'm sure it was going to be.

But instead, it's me saying, oh, I love this song about the same song that I just told him was me singing is so crazy.

Yeah.

And I like it a lot.

But it's also that you guys are so committed to playing this very straight too.

Like it feels sort of supple.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's a very supple piece.

It's a very supple.

That might have been the only way.

It would have been very hard to keep a straight face if that music had been playing for your very grounded performance.

I feel like me and Rudd are known for our stony disposition.

You would have pulled it off.

So you go to the art auction.

I love your all white-on-white tuxes with tails.

So dumb.

I had forgotten that.

Those are amazing outfits.

What a dumb choice.

Because it's a serious art event.

But nobody else there is wearing it.

No, they wouldn't dare.

Immediately we realize you've maybe missed what this crowd likes.

This is what they think people at Sotheby wear.

Nobody else is dressed like you.

Neither of you clock at all that it's a problem or that you're overdressed.

Def not.

You still have total confidence that you're about to crush it.

Do we wonder if the white Tuxes is reverse engineered because we wanted there to be something that the blood showed up really well on?

1,000%.

There's no wonder about that.

Yeah.

The minute you guys show up, I'm like, oh, wow, blood's going to look great on this.

Fred did such a good job as the auctioneer, and I loved the dialogue that we even wrote for him.

It's perfectly whatever that is.

But because you guys are yourselves, it's Andy, it's Paul Rudd.

It starts in the dressing room.

At that moment, this time watching, even though I thought Fred was great, I kind of wished we had just got all outside SNL actors so you guys were just in the real world.

Because when he says a very exciting new artist, Paul Rudd, I kind of am like, oh, but that's not Fred.

I wanted you guys to be in the real world at that moment.

Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean.

Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah, the line, it takes a quiet bravery to bury one soul.

That's what's making them all have that problem.

I mean, Keeve, no one calls John Cusack John Cusack and being John Malkovich, and yet.

Yeah,

that's true.

That's true.

It's the same thing.

Same thing.

Same exact thing to the same level of success.

I'm going to say something crazy to Andy, just like that.

I think Spike Jones is an amazing director.

Oh my God.

I'm going to piggyback your craziness and agree.

Yeah.

Wow.

This is continuing.

Wow.

A full week later.

Yeah.

Like for real, for real?

No fucking lie.

I would work with any of those guys.

Can I say to our listeners, here's how you know we recorded episodes back-to-back is when your makes a callback to a previous episode.

That means a week has passed in the real world,

but like only minutes have passed for memento.

Minutes.

We're stockpiling because Seth has a vacation.

Oh my God, isn't they going on me?

Is it not your fault, bitch?

I'm in here every fucking day, whether you guys are here or not.

Just waiting for the red light to go on.

He just did a family trip and stockpiled oh my god by the way could we grab is anybody gone anywhere could we grab a quick family trips while i have

as far as i'm concerned that podcast is the enemy i take podcasts seriously now you do you've gotten very serious about him all right so we reveal the art which we never see the painting no we we really held back i guess it's impossible to show it and then everybody starts to scream for a background actors Great work.

Yeah.

Yes.

Like the first woman who screams does an exceptionally good job.

And the timing of it is really perfect.

I believe Keevin Yorm coached them very meticulously to be like, she screams and then everyone else starts screaming.

It feels like it's from a movie in a good way.

And we get a sense of how the painting might not be a great painting by the fact that everyone's eyes start to bleed.

Yes.

And then it gets pretty gory.

This is the reason for the self-harm warning at the beginning of the short.

Do you think it is inspired by the movie The Happening, which we've talked about, which is the Mark Wahlberg M.

Night Shyamalan movie where, remember that movie was like the trees were making people kill themselves?

Yeah, it was one of my favorites.

Yeah, I don't know what's the timeline on it.

Had it come out?

It had come out because I think Andy had talked about that had inspired his Wahlberg impression a little bit, and that had already happened.

I don't think so.

I think that just when something is so bad, it makes stigmata eyes.

I think it's one of many, Seth, which is like there's something that makes people just start taking their own lives because it's so horrific, or they're out of control of their own brains.

I mean, again, it's full goriness, but we cut to Sadekis for some reason has an oven.

He has a full oven in the auction house and he's crawling into it.

There's a woman with a gun.

There is Michaela Watkins as sort of an old Italian woman and you realize her reaction to it is that it's the Antichrist.

I think when somebody starts speaking in Italian and cuts their own throat.

Yep.

Very convincing in the role.

I mean, my favorite moment, hater and wig as Indiana Jones's Marion, tied to a stake and him screaming, don't look at it.

I remember being really happy about getting that in.

Yeah.

I just love how quickly it happens too.

It's like a third beat of craziness.

Yeah, it's the third beat.

It's not the last one.

It's the third one.

And it's a really nice building of chaos.

Also, Fred has just, there are people like, it was like white foam coming out of their mouths.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not all intentional suicide.

Sometimes it's just doing something to them.

Also, there's one where I want to ask the shot of a woman opens her mouth and it's vomit or like it's like whatever white, and you can tell it's from behind her.

It's not, she didn't have to do it, but it's a really good effect.

Agreed, it's it's very good, and that woman did it quite well.

Yeah, doesn't wear out its welcome either, too.

It's right up there with like the perspective shots in Lord of the Rings, where they make Gandalf look super tall.

Yeah, it's the same as that, but they're actually just in camera.

Peter Jackson's another great director, would work with, yes, you'd work with, you'd be surprised to know.

Okay, from now on, just to keep the podcast moving, if Jorm says a director, just just yell out work with or won't work with.

Work with.

This episode of the Lonely On the Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Makersmark, and I'm with some of my friends right now.

Hi, guys.

Hello.

Hi.

You know, Margie Samuels was a spirited woman.

She was also the co-founder of Makersmark.

I don't have to tell you guys this stuff.

No.

No, we know it, but our listeners might not.

So continue.

All right.

Well, in honor of Women's History Month, we wanted to toast some of the spirited women in our lives.

That was my idea, actually.

These guys were thinking about not doing it.

I was like, like, we should.

Yeah.

You are in many ways as trailblazing as Margie Samuels, Yorm.

And I often said that.

Well, I kept saying, I want to mark this day with a maker's mark.

And you guys kept saying, what does that mean?

I was like, it means a toast, guys.

Way to land the plane, buddy.

Thank you.

Thank you, Seth.

I want to tell a story about a spirited woman I saw during the 50th.

And I was a little bit lucky because I was there on Friday for some rehearsal action.

And I got to watch the Close Encounters rehearsal with Kate McKinnon.

And I feel it's the most I've ever watched an actor's process,

guys.

I'm going to wrap this up.

You two can celebrate the spirit of women in your life with a free personalized label to go with the bottle of Makers Mark.

Head to makersmarkpersonalized.com and fill in the details in order to create and mail your custom label.

Don't forget to grab a bottle of Makers Mark to go with it.

Makers Mark makes their bourbon carefully.

Please enjoy it that way.

Maker's Mark, Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, 45% alcohol per volume.

Copyright 2025, Maker's Distillery, Incorporated, Loretto, Kentucky.

Support comes from Rinse.

What's up, Keeve?

What's going on?

You know,

you were just telling me before we started recording, you can do everything on your phone these days.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

These things are amazing.

Have you used the phone yet?

I have.

I just got the phone and, you know, book a vacation, buy and trade stocks.

But did you know, thanks to Rinse, Keeve, you can also make your dirty laundry disappear and then reappear, Keeve, like magic.

That's key.

I got scared.

I got scared for a second.

I was like, why would I was like, I picked out all that clothes and I couldn't pay for it.

But good news.

Perfectly washed and folded thanks to rinse.

I remember back in my New York days, you know, at the times of this podcast, I did have the like, how do you do laundry?

And there was a machine and I had, I was in a five-floor walk-up.

I had to walk up and down five floors to get to the machine.

And then you're like, is someone going to steal my stuff?

And this seems better.

It's a lot better.

Laundry clean and folded.

Dry cleaning pressed and returned on hangers.

I know when I see my laundry folded, courtesy of the good people at Rinse, I don't know.

I feel like a life hack has been accomplished.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's the kind of thing that makes you happy, Seth.

Yeah, just folded clothes, Keith.

It's so nice that we can know each other for this long, and then I kind of learn one of your little, I don't know, piccadillos.

I don't know what you call it.

One of your little

something that makes you put a smile on your face.

It's nice because I know I can, you know, maybe tell your wife, like, hey, Valentine's Day is coming up.

I know something that puts a smile on Seth's face.

Fold it up.

Hey, I have bad news, Keeve, though.

They don't do dry cleaning.

Okay.

No, that was a bit.

I was pulling the rug out for money.

They do do dry cleaning.

Oh my gosh.

I was just being polite.

I said, okay, but I was like, geez, you're going to sponsor.

What are we sponsoring?

Yeah.

I was gutted.

Oh, this one is a roller coaster.

I got to tell you.

First, I think that the stuff's all going to disappear.

Now I'm worried about no dry cleaning.

Now it's all good news.

No more back and forth, no more zigging zagging.

You can sign up at rinse.com, get $20 off your first order.

That is r-in-s-e.com.

So, oh also our white tuxedos which it turns out uh you've only been wearing because they are easels for blood

really good i mean how many now my here's a very important question how many of those tuxes did you have keith because if you miss one of those one and then one really because they were every time was really as good as you could have asked we just went for it we're professionals this was back when pre-tapes were insisted upon and underfunded and did you practice that what the splatter would look like on like white paper before you brought in the Tuxes?

I don't think we were going that slow.

Wow.

You talking about the chaos, kids?

My favorite part of that whole sequence is all the pan, the whip pans back to you guys.

Yeah.

Every time it lands back on you guys with your faces kind of like,

this isn't going well, but I don't want to like freak out.

I'm just going to kind of like, this is uncomfortable for us.

Maybe, maybe there's still one person who will buy it.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

But then there's a really lovely thing because this in the end is a sketch about supportive friends.

You think,

because Andy, you let Paul know that even though his art has led to multiple people taking their own lives, your reaction to him is to say everyone's a critic with sort of a smile on your face.

Everyone's a critic.

Hard cut.

Now you guys are doing publicity for a movie called Everyone's a Critic.

That you just watched.

Yeah, this was all just a movie.

Yeah, everything we've seen is a movie.

It's a very long clip to show.

Yeah, we don't know what Casey Wilson's little junket.

It seems to me you've shown the entirety of the film to her.

Shows what you know, but yeah.

Yeah.

So she's basically saying that that was a clip from the film, Everyone's a Critic.

And you and again, a wonderful performance of the way people are late in a PR tour.

Yeah, they're loose.

If you watch it, this is one of those things that people in Showbiz know.

You have to sit in a room like that all day in front of an easel that has the poster of your movie.

And where Casey sits, she's the 100th reporter that has come in to shoot this.

Yeah.

That was a clip from Everyone's a Critic, starring Paul Rudd and Andy Sandberg.

Now, guys, I understand you brought a little surprise with you.

We did, actually.

Yeah, I don't know if you remember the painting from the film, but

she bleeds out of her eyes and then dies.

Who was were you the boom guy in this one, Jorm?

Was that you?

Oh, yeah, that's a recurring role now.

The barfing boom guy.

I fall through barfing.

So you've barfed in like two...

you've been a barfing boom guy twice in a month.

I reprised my role as barfing boom guy.

So whatever you call this nesting doll thing or whatever, where a thing inside a thing, there was another thing.

There was.

There's a fourth beat, and I'm trying to remember what it was.

I'm so bummed that we cut it out because it did make me laugh.

I can't remember what it was, but it pulled out again from the junket and there was a different thing happening.

Oh, so all right.

So right now, we think there might be a lost fourth beat.

We have sent sent Kevin Miller to the files, to the archives, to see if he can find Everyone's a Critic from Dress.

Can we guess what it was, though?

Because I feel like it was another junket.

Like it was another film.

I thought maybe it was a news report or something, but it just didn't.

I remember it being like the reveal being halfway as exciting as the first reveal.

So it just felt like it wasn't getting bigger.

And at no point has there been diminishing returns in this short.

Yes.

So I would understand you guys cutting a beat if it was only clever but less funny.

I think after it aired, it felt to me similar to Seth's all-time favorite, Wish It Would Rain, where we cut a bunch after dress and we're like, you know what?

Maybe the point of that was that it was annoyingly long.

This is less annoying.

I wish it would rain.

The point was that it was annoyingly long and you guys were cowards for cutting it.

We've done cuts before that I was really happy about though, like Boombox, where we lifted a verse and a chorus and it felt like the exact right length for an SNL audience, you know?

Yeah.

Yes.

And then this one, I don't know.

I'd have to see it again to know.

It tends to be, to me, like when it's not going to be fully successful that I'd, that I'd rather just be like, well, if it's making us laugh, then I feel like we should just have left alone.

Now, though, let's not forget it was a hot show.

There was a lot in it.

Right.

And so there was also probably you were doing a courtesy to the rest of your colleagues for making a cut.

Yeah.

Do you remember who the musical guest was, Andy?

We're going to hopefully get that fourth beat, but I'm going to ask you a little about the show.

Paul Rudd and Vampire Weekend.

You were in a sketch with Paul Rudd and the musical guest.

Oh.

Well, no, not this time you hosted.

Yeah, this time.

Paul McCartney?

Nope.

Oh, that was the next time.

Yeah.

I was in a live sketch.

Oh, Beyonce.

Beyonce.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And there was another cameo in that sketch.

From Justin Timberlake.

There you go.

I mean, it was a single ladies video shoot, and the background background dancers were you and Bobby Moynihan and Timberlake.

Oh, wow.

That was this show, eh?

That's fucking huge.

That was

Bobby's idea, right?

It was Bobby's idea.

It was.

It was at the table read.

Bobby is very funny in it, but here's how you know it was Bobby's idea.

Bobby is a very new cast member in a sketch full of superstars.

There's only one way that door is open.

And by the way, he got what he deserved.

I'm not saying he like backdoor it, but like that's you're like, oh, that dude must have written it if he's in it.

well when he wrote it it was just me and him right and in the video there's only two dancers with her yeah so it made sense but then somehow via higgins he was like i think justin's in town or justin's around and was like we're gonna ask him to be in this and then justin i think told a story in one of those documentaries that he was instrumental in convincing beyonce to do the sketch at all i remember that i'll vouch for that for him going in there yeah i remember going in there with him to talk to her about it uh and her being very sweet and leaving and not knowing if she was 100% down or not and then it happened gotcha I was very taken re-watching it how good she is in it

and how she would be very good at this for the course of a whole episode as well for sure I also have said many times throughout my life since SNL that when people ask me who's like the most incredible music performance you ever saw while you were there.

For me, it's her and Prince probably are the two.

Yeah.

In terms of like watching a person that no one else can do what they're doing physically and creatively at the same time.

It was kind of mind-blowing watching her do Single Ladies Live.

Agreed.

We watched every rehearsal because we were just like, how is this happening?

It feels like Single Ladies should have been the first song she did.

It was the second song she did.

I was surprised by that.

It must have been a hit for a long time.

And so she was trying to push a new one.

I'm wondering if it's because of the sketch being the Single Ladies video, if there was a sense of like it would play better before or after.

Oh, interesting.

Kevin Kevin found everyone's a critic from dress, but it doesn't seem like there's any more beats, so you must have maybe made the cuts before dress.

Oh, man.

Can we ask Dina?

Yeah, somebody reached out to Dina.

Then it was definitely right.

If we made the decision before dress, then it's definitely correct.

Very final thing that aired on the night was a second one of the Noah Bohembach Armison Hayter little shorts.

I don't remember those, are they?

I can't remember what they were like at all.

I just remember Noah being there and hanging out, but I don't remember what they actually filmed.

This one was called No, No, No, and it was Rudd and Hayter talking about how Bill was now dating a woman that Rudd used to date, and then Fred comes in as someone who's currently dating it.

And it's a lot of like, look, I hope you're not mad.

It's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay, so you're cool with the fact that I'm seeing Tracy right now.

Well, well, that's kind of weird.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's totally, you know, it's cool.

You guys aren't mad at me right now.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

Beyonce video is, I think, from Anne Goldener.

Mama, papa, mi corpo crece a unrimo alarmante, y la ropo que me compre nora, me que dora muy pe queña, muy pronto, pero su villetera no tiene que su frí por la moda cons presos vajos de la vuenta clas de amazon.

Amazon, la tamenos sonriemas.

A very iconic sketch.

You would see it a lot in, I feel like, best of cut-up montages.

Yep.

A lot of fun.

Then, since Timberlake was there, Timberlake was on update and he did like a tour to forest where he did, This is me if I host.

I didn't have time to host this year so here's two minutes of what I would do if I was hosting

hey Thanksgiving is Thursday blah blah blue I'm bringing turkey back jokes

left but I eat it for a snack Andy is Andy and Bill as backup dancers because they're not in anything else ha ha ha stick around we got a great show we'll be right back some ad parody that I'm not in then bring it on down to Turkeyville

Commercial and good evening and welcome back to the Vincent Price Thanksgiving special with me and three other dead people.

Of course, I'll play James Dean.

And straight into a digital short step one.

You cut a hole in the turkey step two.

And it was really a thing that maybe only four other SNL hosts ever could do.

That's what I was about to say.

It's such like rare air to be like, that's the bit because everyone's thinking it.

Yeah.

And also, there's like seven massive shifts in tone and energy that he just turns on a dime.

Yeah.

And I do believe I scream at some point, take it to the bridge, like a girl in the front row at a Timberlake concert.

Oh, there's a sketch from the Rudd show that,

look, does it play?

I wouldn't argue it played.

It's called Songwriters Showcase.

And I went back and re-watched it today because it's one of those titles where you're like, that sounds familiar, but like nothing about the title gives it away.

And it's Wig and Rudd singing one of those story country songs at like an open mic night where, you know, those like 70 songs where like she went down to the bridge and she went a little fast.

Like, it's just like a story of something.

And it's a very long song about a package being delivered to the wrong house.

And it's just them singing the tracking number.

He started reading off the tracking number right into her MM

He said

6, 7, 3, 4, 5, Eve 2.

Then he continued TKX 452C.

Sounds like some Wig action.

It's really funny.

And it's also, you know, last week with him, with Brolin, with Hathaway, like the speed at which Rudd can do anybody's tone.

Yeah.

Like he matches Wig's energy perfectly.

You know, the fun thing about the Beyonce sketch is, again, I'll be the straight man for this one.

He's the director of the single ladies video.

So, you know, when he gets to be funny, he's super funny.

The first kissing family.

Vogelchecks.

The Vogelceks.

I think maybe the line that made Lauren laugh the most every time he heard it was the end of a kissing family where Fred would do his long run explaining why.

My grandfather, Grand Pope Vogelcek, came to this country with nothing.

He was totally naked.

He left his job as a foreigner so that he could build a better life for himself here.

A country where he wouldn't punish people who were affectionate and kissy with their families.

So, yeah, I know it feels like a lot, but you know something?

We're Vogelchecks.

And the way he said it would make Lauren like the fuck.

Lauren even told me, like, a month before the 50th, he's like, you know, I'm thinking maybe a kissing family because, you know, then you have, you know, because we're Vogelcheks.

You know, and it's a great line, but I always want to say, like, to Lauren, like, you know, that's not, like, isn't that special?

But I did re-watch that, and there was a line that does not get a laugh that made me laugh out loud.

Just a very writer's line that happens too fast for the audience to appreciate, which is: Fred is talking about how his family moved to America because they wanted a place where they wouldn't be judged for being affectionate.

And he says, talking about his grandpa Volgolchek, he left his job as a foreigner so he could build a better life for himself here.

But he left his job as a foreigner.

It's so funny to me.

And how, what's the exact phrasing on the last line of it, Seth?

I don't know.

Maybe it's just because we're vocal checks.

There you go.

Some version of that.

Just eating it up.

I have a dumb question.

Is it live?

What?

Is the show live?

That's your dumb question.

What time does it air and what night?

Andy, when you're in something like the single ladies thing and it's fucking Beyoncé and it looks pretty iconic and Justin's in it.

Because I don't know how many sketches you were in that actually became that level of sort of iconic.

Did you have the sense that you're like, ah, this one's going to get re-watched?

Did you have that sort of sense that you're just like, oh, this is just another thing and hopefully people like it.

It's funny.

Well, I was crazy geeked because I was doing something with Beyonce.

Yeah.

But, I mean, you know, no matter what, it's like going to be a news item, an entertainment news item.

Right.

It's the modern equivalent of like when Ariana Grande sings Sabrina Carpenter's song.

Like it's just things that are super red hot in that moment.

It's gonna get clicked and yes, where you're like, oh, I see, this is like very relevant to pop culture at this exact moment.

And when you're doing it, the audience is aware of that and you're getting extra juice off of that for sure.

Is that out of all the sketches that you've done, is that the one that is probably most, I don't know, iconic for like live?

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's an interesting question.

Yeah.

All right.

That was it.

I mean, it's, if so, it's because it was Beyonce and Justin doing something together.

Right.

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Support comes from Home Chef.

Guys, what if I told you for just $500,000 a year, a chef could come to your home?

and make your meals.

I would freak out.

Please don't tell me that.

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I find Home Chef a bit bit overwhelming because there's over 30 options every week and it can serve every dietary need and I just, it's so many choices.

But Jorm, you like that?

I do.

It's interesting that you say that because I like variety, Keeve, and that's why Home Chef is number one in my book.

Quickly rank this for me.

What's your favorite part?

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Love it.

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Very difficult to decide already.

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You know how I feel about that.

I like it.

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So I don't know what else to say.

And your family has liked them.

And now for the first time, you were saying to me in years, you feel like your family likes you.

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Support for the Lonely Island Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb.

I was very excited when my brother finally got married.

He waited a very long time to do it.

So long that I had children.

And then I had to bring my children to his wedding.

And I didn't want to have my children in a hotel room.

And we were really lucky that there was an Airbnb nearby so that I didn't have to have my kids at the hotel where everybody was loud and staying up late.

And instead, they got to stay at a wonderful A-frame.

And if you don't have kids, let me tell you, they love it when a house is shaped like a letter.

It was fantastic.

We had a great time.

They did not wake us up early because they had their own rooms and it was just so much better than being in a common space with everybody who was in full revelry for my brother's wedding.

Hey, Yarm, were you at that wedding?

Oh, no, it wasn't about it.

So you know what?

Thanks to my brother for finally getting married.

And more importantly, thanks to Airbnb.

Oh, hey, can we go into

Seth's Corner, but it's called the Petulant Pit.

Oh.

Can you sing a song for that?

I think Andy should sing the Petulant Pit.

Oh, the Petulant Pit, you know.

It's a pit full of petulance, and it's worse than lips.

He's a very good singing.

I just realized, I hope I haven't talked about this.

This was where I was so mad because I wrote a live sketch where you played Ram Emanuel, Andy, and it got cut.

Oh.

Do you remember?

But then did it air later?

It aired later, but I didn't know it was going to air in the future because I wasn't there yet and i was so mad it got cut but it aired later as a pre-tape yeah which helped but it was from the live recording we didn't redo it again but it was live and it was about how ram emmanuel like did a lot of cursing it was known as a sort of hothead you were great in it i thought it was awesome it got cut and i went into my dressing room And I was so mad, I swung my door open and the doorknob went through the wall that the door swung into and left a big old hole.

Fucking strong guy.

And Shoemaker, as punishment, wouldn't ever get the hole fixed because he said, I want you to look at that every day and think about what a baby you are.

That's a good producer.

That's good producing.

The amazing thing about this is Shoemaker's been out.

Shoemaker got knee surgery.

And so we just finished two weeks of shows where Shoemaker wasn't in the building.

Shoemaker, absolutely the most important person for me to be around to get through through my day without stress overwhelming me.

Like, cause anytime something makes me a little bit crazy, his office is right next to me.

I just walk over and I just yell at him.

I literally don't take it out at anybody else.

I just yell at him and then it's out.

Yeah.

And I just like go back to my day.

So I haven't had Shoemaker.

I made it all the way to the last day.

By the way, it's only two weeks.

I should have been able to make it.

And something happened yesterday.

And I took a Uniball pen and I threw it across the room and it exploded on my wall and left like a Rorschach block.

And I put a note up and said, please do not clean this because that's going to be my new hole in the wall.

Beautiful.

I'm going to put a little plaque next to it to be like, the two weeks Shu was away.

I just like picturing that when he comes back, his knee is going to be like, bow, he's just going to be picking stuff.

He's going to enter the way.

Hiya!

Like when RoboCop first walked in.

Yeah.

Check this out, guys.

Love that we've all heard that story.

My thought was, man, what's up with dudes and our rage?

And why do we always want to break stuff when we're mad?

And Jorm was like, I bet Shoemaker's got a robot leg.

You should get him a soccer ball.

We should break a bunch of soccer balls and put them in different rooms.

I like yours way better.

Andy's like, oh, man, we're so toxic.

Yorm's like, how far can he kick a soccer ball now?

I'm sure I can do this now.

Keith, what was your takeaway?

I'm just enjoying the pod.

Oh, okay.

Righteous kill.

Oh, righteous kill.

Oh, righteous kill.

Oh, have we ever talked about righteous kill as a saying?

No, that's why I'm surprised we haven't.

Where is it from, Andy?

Akiva, when it came out, or when it was not even out yet, it was about to come out, the movie Righteous Kill, said he was going to try and start that as a thing.

Wait, it was Keeve that said that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I would have put it on you, Andy.

I don't, I have no memory.

No, it was you.

Okay.

Well, it caught on for a while with me and you.

Yeah, we said it all.

It caught on for fucking Andy.

He said it for the rest of his life a righteous kill yeah I still say it all the time so when someone says something that you would normally say like right on or righteous you go oh righteous kill righteous kill and Keith and I still every now and again when we text each other something we'll just send the the poster of the movie right

as a response so Keith tried to start something and it only caught on with his closest friend that's all I was starting with that's it that was success well it caught on with yeah that is success it's not over guys we have a podcast we have a platform this is our megaphone so get it out there guys there's still time.

Righteous kill, Jorn.

Righteous kill.

If even, hey, look, if even one person

starts saying righteous kill casually in their conversations, this podcast will have been worth it.

It was De Niro.

It was Pacino together again for the first time since heat, which was the first time ever.

Yeah.

And

its legacy is like it doesn't exist, but in this small way, it can.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

For so many things, but at this moment, that.

I just had De Niro on on my show.

De Niro's in a new movie where he plays two different mobsters.

I saw this.

And so, yeah, so he does a scene with himself.

And one of our producers on this podcast in the late night, Kevin Miller, produced that segment.

And Kevin Miller basically gave me an A-plus line to say when De Niro was out, which is, I said, I apologize that I'm about to say this, but when I look at this picture of you,

two of you at a table, all I can think is you talking to you.

You talking to you?

Yeah.

You talking to you.

And it was a real good, like, Denier being like, huh?

Yeah.

Very funny.

You talking to you.

Okay.

That makes sense.

Can I say one more that I'd like people to start saying?

Oh, yeah.

This is like your righteous kill.

Well, when we did quatto, and I mean, we may have talked about this, but I really did want people to start calling each other quads.

Now, that took off with me, I would say, the same way that righteous kill took off with Andy.

Yeah.

So do you call your friends Quades?

Like when you walk into a room, you're like, hey, what are you Quades up to?

Just with us.

Yeah, just with us.

I mean, that's the problem, is I'm not taking it to the streets, but I do think I often think of you as a Quaid, Jorm.

Yeah, no, no, no, I am.

I am

100% a Quaid.

Joast will still sometimes text, who does a Quaid have to blow to get a Molsinger out of here.

I thought you were trying to get this expression started, Jorm.

Oh, wait, it's today?

That was a week ago.

I don't feel bad about this.

I don't feel bad about this because we constantly move the podcast.

So that's a perfectly reasonable thing to text multiple times a day.

Look, I'm just really happy.

Let's just celebrate the fact that all four of us are here together.

This is killer.

This is going great.

Yeah.

Everyone's a critic.

Is it criterion?

I don't know.

I'm going to say not.

In some ways, it is to me because it feels so different from all the others.

And I'm always very into when we branch into different things.

Like, again, if it was a true Criterion or the old school SNL best of DVD,

just having it be song after song wouldn't feel that good.

We would be really grateful for the dear sisters jammed in there.

And then I think something like this would suddenly feel more exciting to put in there just to create a good, the feeling of a good show.

Okay, you're talking about like it's a mixtape.

Exactly.

I appreciate it.

Well, that's what those best ofs were, a mixtape.

And so you did want to kind of create, you know, when we were kids and we'd rent the Eddie Murphy one, you were renting it instead of renting a movie, you know, you were at the video store and you were renting best of Eddie Murphy.

You would watch it straight through and and want to have like a comedy special experience you know i like your macro view on this it's a different way to think about it and uh now i don't know what to think because i wouldn't put it i i don't think you can think about criterion like that i agree with everything you said keeve and i would say ultimately i don't think it's criterion yeah but it definitely falls into the category of i'm proud of it and like it a lot certainly would be in kim's video it's a real kim's video yeah it's a kim's video for sure yeah it doesn't get caught trying to be anything it's not.

There's no cheap moves.

It's like very pure to itself.

Yeah, no, no, I love this one.

I wish we could release that song.

I wish I had it on my computer right now because it really makes me happy.

I wish it was my ringtone.

Can I pitch something?

Maybe take five minutes and just re-record it.

Oh, you know what?

Okay.

This one goes way more arched, but I would also say you could sort of categorize it tonally and pace-wise with the Jonah's Dad one.

Yeah.

Which is like a story that takes place at the studio and then sort of branches out from there.

But yeah, it's good stuff.

And like, look, there's no one we love more than Rudd.

He's just like the greatest.

Andy, would you call it AMPM?

Too much of that.

That's good stuff.

Yeah, Jorm says that a lot.

Yeah.

Hey, I want to loop back one episode just to say, share one story,

which is that the last show

before the election, which was Ben Affleck.

Ben Affleck is a very good over the years, a wonderful SNL host.

But my memory of the Affleck show was John McCain, the John McCain who was running for president, and the election was three days later, came on the show and did a QVC sketch that I had originally written for Daryl.

And the idea was that it was going so bad in the polls and that fundraising was such a problem that he was now on QVC.

And he did a sketch where he was with Tina playing Sarah Palin.

Yeah.

And again, as crazy as politics are now, that is deeply unique.

Would I rather be on three major networks?

Of course.

But I'm a true Maverick, a Republican without money.

And I'm not like my opponent.

My only showbiz connections are John Voigt and Heidi from the Hills.

So I'm here on QVC.

And like QVC, this campaign promises you three things, quality, value, and convenience.

And great deals on juicers

he was having the time of his life fucking good good for him and again he had hosted the show in maybe 05 04 we'd hung out with him before lauren and him got along incredibly well he was somebody who for however our politics diverged i felt like the man's moral compass was one i had a great amount of respect for and i liked being around him i thought he was really funny and wrote this sketch.

And he showed up to do it in his dressing room.

Lindsey Graham and Sam Brownback, who were a couple of senators at the time.

Lindsey Graham obviously still is.

I remember going back after the sketch aired and being like, that was great.

And they were like, oh man, what a blast.

Like again, like they're just looking at pulling numbers.

Yeah, just come for fun and

spoke.

Yeah, I think he was like, we're going to go to SNL.

Come meet me.

The

fact that it was with Tina and that halfway through the sketch, she, as Palin, turns to a new camera and goes, Okay, y'all, I'm going rogue.

Yeah.

Which had been like a news story for weeks about how Palin was going rogue and throwing off the election for them.

And he was in it was so wild.

I remember being like, as a person who really doesn't care about politics most of the time,

especially at that time, I was like, I can't fucking believe he's doing this.

Hey, listen up, everybody.

I'm going rogue right now, so keep your voices down.

down.

Available now, we got a bunch of these pants from Charlie's t-shirts.

Just

try and wait until after Tuesday to wear them, okay?

Because I am not going anywhere, and I'm certainly not going back to Alaska.

That was also then a couple years later, the title of Sarah Palin's book was Going Rogue.

Was it really?

Wow.

Yeah.

We got to lean into it, I guess.

Also, it reminded me of like when I was growing up watching SNL when there was that sketch where Lovitz was Dukakis.

Oh, yeah.

Or keeps cutting back and forth.

I can't believe I'm losing to this guy.

But it was as if Dukakis was in that sketch.

You know what I mean?

Yes.

Yeah.

Like the real one, McCain doing it.

All right, gentlemen.

Hey, our next one's kind of a big one, fellas.

John Malkovich hosted the episode.

He wasn't in the short, but you were.

And it's Jizz in My Pants.

Oh.

Big change for us.

Fun one.

Pretty exciting.

It's the first one we did outside of SNL, where we took the off week previous to SNL and shot it that week.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's save these details for the episode.

Oh, yeah.

It's already getting too good.

Shut up, Keeve.

It definitely, I would argue, changed the way those got made and still continues to get made.

Changed the game?

Would you say it changed the game?

Production-wise, yes.

Oh, yeah, you said it, Andy.

But will you say it that way I asked you to?

Change the game.

Next week, we change the game.

Next week, we change the game.

See if you can do it as Yarma and not have our audience know, Andy.

Oh, this is gonna be insulting.

We change the game.

That's okay.

Okay, I got it again.

Hey, we changed the game.

We changed the game.

We changed the game.

I gotta go, you guys.

I got family friends.

They're your friends.

They're your friends.

I'm the only one with family friends and kids.

they may be laughing at you, but they're your friends.

Hey, I can't make it, and I'm gonna tell you every detail about why

because you guys are busy.

I can't do the podcast, but I do need an hour to tell you why.

We'll just do the podcast.

The handsome one's laughing at you.

The laugh teeth.

Oh, no, he's the moment.

I love it.

I still get to be the handsome one.

I can't believe I'm the one with teeth.

All right.

Love you guys.

Love you too.

All right.

In truth, love you guys.

All right.

Love you guys.

Thanks.