Party Guys

Hi guys.

Hi, how are you?

Good.

I'm sorry I was late.

I feel like my friend from Africa who was over here stole my cord.

Oh my God.

Once again, maybe the most Yorm opener.

You know how guys from Kenya are?

They come over, they fucking take your cords.

Yorm knows people from all over the globe, all of whom he lets stay at his house and are a little bit shady.

We don't know.

We don't know about any of that.

You know what I really liked, Yorm, is that you wrote us.

to say that you were looking you had you said wait give me a minute I'm looking for some chords, but you spelled it C-H-O-R-D-S.

Oh, well, to be fair, the iPhone spelled it that way, but yes.

But it is kind of nice that you're such a musician that your iPhone was like, I think you mean these chords.

Found them.

Found them.

How is everybody?

Good.

Jorm, when you said you had a friend in town from Africa, I just assumed it was Chappie.

No, that guy sucks now.

The robot Chappie?

Yeah, the robot.

Yeah, robot Chappy.

He's so irritating now.

And Chappie.

Geto Chappie is a huge behind the scenes part of late night.

Really?

What?

I'm sorry, what?

So we do a scene called You Burnt, and during You Burnt, we have like every now and then there's like a robot voice that like comes in and it says like a robot phrase.

And behind the scenes, we've always called that Chappie because our show came out.

Our show started like within a month of Chappie being a movie.

It's not, though, because Chappie is a very distinct South African accent.

Yeah, no, it's definitely not.

Who here has seen Chappie?

All of us.

All of us.

Immediately, we saw it.

Yeah, we've all seen it, but how does he talk, Annie?

We've talked about Chappie as much as anything that's ever come out, I would say.

Yeah, almost like a quadrilovel.

Again, Chappie, there were two things that were happening when our show started that we referenced all the time, and it turned out nobody in our audience knew about him or cared.

It was Chappie, and then there was that like weird Johnny Depp movie with like Gwyneth Paltrow, where he was like,

I don't know, he was like a detective or something.

I'm going to have to look it up now.

Are you talking about the tourist?

No, that's Angelina Jalee.

That's what I said.

It had like a weird little name, like Chappie, that it was like kind of fun to say.

Oh, yes, it's like Montgomery or something, but it's not that.

Oh, you're talking about the comedy, the one with the mustache.

Mordecai.

Mordecai.

Is it Mordecai?

Mordecai.

Was it Mordecai?

Yes.

Yeah.

I think the tagline had something to do with the mustache.

That's why I said that.

Yeah.

And so we were like, we thought it was so funny.

And we just kept making Mordecai jokes.

And like, again, when a movie doesn't do well

and so chappy Mordecai jokes I apologize to anybody watching late night in the 14 to 15 era suffice it to say if there was ever a chappy mordecai team-up movie we would be first in line to refresh your memory dyant word is in it and they find a robot it's basically short circuit it's like a military trained robot that goes off the reservation somehow and instead of finding steve gutenberg and um is it ali sheety yeah instead of finding them it finds ninja and uh fiolani Fesser.

Yeah, exactly.

And then they teach it how to be kind of cool, like artist, like urban artists, I would say.

Pretty sure they teach Chappie how to be gangsta.

Yeah.

But wait, wait.

How does he talk, though?

How does Chappie talk?

Well, Chappie, at first, I think, again, this is my memory.

He talks closer to Johnny number five, a little bit sweet.

He goes, butterfly.

And they're like, don't say butterfly, say butterfly.

Something like that, right?

Yeah.

I feel like Chappie has the same accent, though.

I feel like the voice of of Chappie is the guy who's the lead in District 9.

I think you're right.

And I do think in the trailer, he says, I am Chappie.

Oh, Shipley.

Shipley?

Stingley.

Byron Stingley.

So he says, like, I am Chippy.

See, I think.

That's a little, yeah, he's from New Zealand.

Sometimes people will say, you know, I wish you talked about something other than Donald Trump on your late night show.

And I do want people to know that before he showed up, it was a lot of Chappie stuff.

So, you know.

Pick your poison.

I love Chappie.

It's got Hugh Jackman with a dope haircut.

Oh, yeah.

But he's got like an urban mullet.

Jackman's a bad guy, right?

Yeah.

He works for the company that makes the robots, I believe.

Again, I can't believe that it's even foggy for me, and I didn't refresh myself with a new viewing.

Yeah.

Don't get it twisted out there.

Chappie rips.

Yeah, we're into Chappie.

I don't want to seem like this negative.

I can't speak for the writing staff at late night.

It's the Lonely Island Seth Meyers podcast.

Yeah.

Hey, we got to do some cleanup work.

Oh.

By the way, I hope you'll give me permission.

And obviously, we could just cut it right out.

But I heard a very funny story about your 15th wedding anniversary, Keith.

Okay, go ahead.

Yeah, put them on blaz.

Confirm or deny, your wife, Liz, told us that she got a balloon that said 1.5 to celebrate 15 years.

I was there.

It's true.

Tell us what you said when you saw the 15 balloon.

Well,

it was outside in the back porch.

So I'm looking through like windows towards the back porch, and I see it kind of glistening in the sun.

And all it read to me was is.

And I thought I was seeing part of like a, you know, something is wonderful, like, you know, like, like half of a sentence, the middle of a sentence.

Right.

And so I was like, is?

What's is?

And she was like,

it's 50.

I was there.

She's like, it's 15.

It's today.

Oh,

that's great.

It is.

Liz said it's like literally the greatest like lesson of marriage is that on your 15th wedding anniversary, your husband's like, what's is?

Yeah, it is what it is, is what she kept saying.

And she did embrace it.

She was like, 15 years, it is what it is.

I thought it was a celebration of the Hawaiian folk singer.

Is, you know?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Is that who sings somewhere over the rainbow?

Yeah.

What we were all thinking.

It could have been like the middle of like, marriage is wonderful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Keith was immediately just concerned the other, the bigger balloons had blown away, and he wanted to alert his bride.

Exactly.

And go back to the store.

um all right can i say can i say something since we're doing cleanup stuff from past casts yeah a friend of mine who listens to this cast texted me and this made me laugh very hard which was when i was bringing up caggies with a cuff and a crease

he texted me i guess keeven yorm did forget about dream

which we've always joked about how no one forgot about dre why did he write that song like we all remember you dre and he was like no it turns out they actually did forget about Dre.

To me, he's always been Andre.

So that's the only thing.

Right, exactly.

He's Andre to you.

Yeah.

You guys, you guys decide if this one's worth leaving in.

A few years ago, I remember going on a run down the West Side Highway, you know, as I'm wont to do.

Yeah.

And just so much going on, like, so many news,

news vans, police cars.

And I'm like, oh, my God, what's going on?

And then I realized it was September 11th.

And it was the anniversary of September 11th.

And I had a real like.

They said, never forget.

That was the one thing.

The one thing they told us to do is never forget.

And you're like, what's going on?

What's this all about?

Speaking of Liz for one second, because I did look at some comments and people were very nice about her voice note.

Yeah.

There was a lot of get more Liz on the pod.

Yeah.

And then somebody plugged a podcast she did.

And I was like, oh, I should have done that for her.

So she did podcasts with Amy Polar

like a year ago, I guess.

And there were like three parts to it.

One was Polar, did 10 episodes.

They were like improvised.

They were like Curb Your Enthusiasm, where they had an outline, but were improvised.

They did a first season where it was polar as like a therapist.

Like a couples counselor, therapist, and with a bunch of...

Say more with Dr.

Sheila.

Exactly.

And then there was a second round, which was Ike Berenholtz as kind of a shock jockey kind of.

A Joe Rogan-esque person.

A Rogan guy.

And then the third one is the one I'm really.

I was like, Ike yesterday.

That's just an aside.

I saw him name drop.

Has your foot hit?

Did he say he was a fan of the pod?

We still haven't gotten our answer on the pod.

No, he confirmed he does not listen listen to the pod.

Okay, great.

That's what I said.

Loudly, I might add.

Well, he's only loudly.

He's a houser.

One speed.

One great speed.

One houser.

Okay.

And then the third one is the actual one I most wanted to do because it's the one that she's on.

So it's her and Emily Spivey, who's another SNL writer who has done a voice note for the show.

And it's called Women Talking About Murder, I believe.

I might

listen every episode.

I'm a fan.

And it's like a murder podcast.

It's super funny.

But it's all improvised and it's really funny.

It's got tons of good guests.

And go go check it out.

It's the first episode game, but they're like two women who talk about murders and it's very clear that Liz is with a pretty shady guy.

Yeah, well, it's all under the pretense of that Emily is going back through looking for clues because clearly Liz has gone missing.

Yes.

People were also mad that we missed this.

I talked about the Swedish entry in Eurovision.

The name of the band was KAJ,

which a bunch of people were like, so Key Vandy Jorm.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

My lord.

Kind of nuts we missed that.

Also, a lot of people want to clarify.

They do live in Finland, but they were the Swedish entry for Eurovision.

Finland's entry was called Ikkoma, which is what you're guessing it is.

So basically, the Finnish entry is a Finnish version of Jizz in My Pants.

Oh.

So all Yorm has to do is go there to just do a little bit of a movie, gets in the water, and now they're just...

I'm sorry, what did I think Ick Coma meant?

I come.

I thought it was people in a coma.

I thought they were all three people people in a band who were also in a coma.

I mean, my first reaction, Seth, was like, yeah, coma, ick.

You don't want to be in a coma.

Ugh.

Gross.

You thought that would be a pop song?

Yeah, you'd be all trapped in your body.

No, thank you.

It really does.

I'm just reading like poorly translated lyrics, but it seems like it's not coma-based.

I didn't think that we would talk about Finland as much on this pod.

Even having been there, even like me being the person that prompted it, I didn't think that we would talk about Finland this much on the pod.

So, you're like basically the guy who got the toothpaste out of the tube, and I'm trying to take it back.

I'm shoving it back in.

No more.

Speaking of Finland, we did Greg's Fraser song that you requested, but we didn't have it when you requested it, so we didn't get to respond to it.

It's pretty special.

Amazing.

And so, thank you, Greg.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, thanks, Greg.

It's a really good one.

Love it.

I think we should play it again.

Yeah, let's just play it again.

And go:

Hey, hey, it's the Lonely Island podcast, And sometimes Seth Myers hangs out too.

He's busy.

And there's that one guy who's always late.

Sometimes don't show up at all.

I think you know who

Finland.

But it's all good, sir.

It don't matter as long as they got you.

Them boys got a whole army of queens.

So funny.

So good.

And I feel like this is maybe an unfair thing when someone shows an aptitude for something that you just keep pushing them.

But it's kind of what Lauren did with you guys in the digital shorts, right?

Yeah.

Like the better they were, the more he said, I need more.

Yeah, grind Greg.

It's fine.

So with that, I feel like Greg maybe could do one that's like inspired by the Alvin and the Chipmunks theme song.

Ooh, that's good.

Yeah.

And maybe you could use this at the end of it.

Andy!

Oh, it kind of blew out when you said that.

No, no, that's just Zoom.

They'll have it.

Okay, good.

Okay.

But do it again, though?

Do it again, though.

Oh, sorry.

Andy!

Another person said, hey, I can't believe you guys were talking about both Jack Quaid and Goose and failed to make the connection that Jack Quaid's real-life mom, Meg Ryan, was Goose's.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Wow.

Wow.

Everything comes back to geese, man.

It's getting wild.

Everything connects on this pod.

It really makes sense, but not in like a helpful way.

Do you think that maybe our, you know how like each individual person has a spirit animal?

Like our group or band spirit animal is a goose?

100%.

Most deaf.

Jorm, take off your shirt.

I just got this shirt, so I didn't want to take it off.

I'm trying to flaunt it to you guys.

What do you guys think?

Oh, it's nice.

Two elephants.

Yeah, thanks.

What is I Don't Give a Honk from?

Our third album.

Our Brains?

Okay.

No, somebody in a Q ⁇ A or somebody, sorry, not in a Q ⁇ A.

Someone just emailed in a question about I Don't Give a Honk.

So that's another, that's another undropped goose reference we haven't mentioned.

Was it Edgar Wright that sent the question in?

Because he likes that song a lot.

I don't know.

And yes, my foot hurts, Andy.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

Because you dropped a name on it.

Yeah.

Hey, this one, another connection that I enjoyed.

This is from Richard.

Hey, Quades.

I was just thinking about how great Yorma was as Booth, Jonathan, and Girls.

That's exactly.

And how he showed full ass for a long time in bed with Marnie.

Oh, yeah.

And they were basically like, you're kind of like your generation's Dennis Franz.

Yeah.

So many, again, useless connections, but we were making them.

There's not that much memorable male butt showing on TV things, just in general.

That was a memorable one because it was the full like arms and legs out.

I will say I was asked to go full frontal as well, and I wanted to because I was like, yeah, that's, you don't get to see full frontal as much.

And then my wife was like, please don't.

Please don't.

Like it really is forever.

Like, can you just not just go with the fucking butt, man?

And, you know, I guess I'm happy.

Because she believes to this day that belongs to her and her only.

She's the only one who gets to see it.

You can talk to her about it, but yeah, we'll get it later.

You're like, but I thought you said it was big.

She's like, no, no, no, no, I did.

It's good.

It's good.

From my experience, for sure, but I'm just...

It's so cold in the studios.

Because it's cold in studios and you don't want to, you know.

So, Andy, you think Marty was saying this because she didn't want to blow up her spot.

Like, she.

She didn't want to walk down the street and have people be like, hey, that's that lady that go with that little dick guy.

Oh.

You didn't think it was protecting your kid, you guys.

I've seen Yorm's penis, and it's totally good.

Yeah, that's great.

Oh, he has.

Yeah, yeah, Yorm.

We can cut all that.

Yorm, we can cut all that.

No, I've seen your penis and it's totally good.

It's just a really good grammar.

Dick grammar.

I just like the idea of like Yorm after it airs and he's getting that feedback standing at like the foot of the bed, just tears running down his eyes, being like, So I guess you need to get your eyes checked.

All of you.

What else is a lie?

In action.

Oh my God.

Do you think now in retrospect, are you glad she recommended you not do it, Yorm?

No, I feel like there should be more dicks on TV.

We can show it on the pod.

Okay.

Yeah, can we show it on the pod when we go to video?

Okay.

And you guys are looking at it, and everyone's impressed.

Oh, it's fine.

And we're back.

Support for the Lonely Island and Seth Meyers podcast comes from Airbnb.

Yorm,

you travel a lot.

You like staying in houses.

Yeah, well, when I was hanging out with Tommy Hanks in Pittsburgh, I actually stayed in Airbnb up on a hill.

I can't remember the name of the hill, but it was overlooking the city.

It was a Perimo, and it was a very good location.

You know what they say about real estate cave?

They say location, location, location.

And this had the location.

It was very easy to get to everything.

And yeah, it was clean.

And I loved staying there.

You know, Seth's story about where he stayed was also a Pittsburgh story.

And then we also have been talking a lot about Pittsburgh.

It just feels like we're kind of Pittsburgh guys.

Yeah.

Go to Pittsburgh, stay near Goosekeys.

I bet there was an Airbnb right near there.

I went to Pittsburgh once and I stayed in a hotel.

And honestly, I would have preferred an Airbnb because when you have an Airbnb, you have a kitchen.

And especially if you got kids, that's really key.

And you might even have a washer-dryer.

And that's pretty key.

And it's nice to not just be sharing walls with strangers and to be in your own space.

Yeah.

But let me flip it on you, Joran.

Let me flip this on you.

Ooh, okay.

Getting real now.

We've been talking about when you are traveling and you're in someone else's house, but what about your house?

First, you create a welcoming space for others.

You get the joy of sharing a home with travelers and you get extra income that can allow you to travel more or other life goals.

You know, I don't think they're going to micromanage how you spend your money after you get it.

You use it how you see fit.

Yeah, whatever hobbies you got.

Yeah.

But Airbnb is great as both traveler or as a host.

You have no idea what your house is worth right now.

You might be sitting on a little gold mine, might be able to pay off that mortgage and get yourself a little ice cream on the side.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, your home could be worth more than you think.

Find out how much much at airbnb.com/slash house.

I just ended your head for you.

Thank you.

This episode of the Lonely Island Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Makers Mark.

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Again, there's just a lot of in the comment section.

There's a lot of people weaving themes together, but I do appreciate it.

Someone said, This is Dan, I was thinking back to when you mentioned Beyonce being reluctant to do the single lady skit with Andy.

Andy, do you think she anticipated that one day you would be known as the true queen bee?

Oh, wow.

Wow.

Yeah.

Good.

Long walk, and I went there.

I went there right with you.

No, but I will let you know.

And I feel like a little bit like a corporate chill because I'm sure this was their intention.

New York Times Games did send me a Queen Bee hat.

Yeah.

And I have been rocking it.

I've been rocking it quite proudly.

So I want to thank them for that.

Good hat.

I mean, it's a good logo.

They got a good logo.

It's a good hat.

Fits like a glove.

Yeah.

And it's kind of your brand.

Like a head glove.

A head glove.

Yeah.

Cool.

Yeah, I don't know.

That's what I look for in a hat.

Like a glove-like fit.

No.

It's like plastered on in my head and face.

You could have said it fits like a hat.

It's like super tight, immediately sweaty.

Yeah, it's basically like a GIMP mask.

Just the top of a GIMP mask.

So that's a boat.

But everybody knows that I'm aware of the concept of Queen Beeve, and that's important to me.

This is from Jihad.

Back in 2009, Andy hosted the MTV Movie Awards and did a bit where Paul Rust played an editor named Carl Berman.

He wins a technical award and proceeds to start humping the award and insulting Andy.

It's one of my favorite bits, but I cannot find the video of of it anywhere.

Suck my golden popcorn dick is still something my friends and I say to each other.

Whoa.

That's right.

I remember being impressed with Rust because that's not something that you think is going to come out of Rust's mouth.

Very funny man.

Yes, indeed.

Paul Rust.

Also, by the way, he's on that new Paul Rubens Pee Wee as Himself documentary.

It is so, so great.

I love that documentary.

Shout out.

I don't remember it, but I know Paul Rust is like besties with Neil Campbell, who I work with a ton, including on our show Digman, and I'm guessing he had something to do with writing that.

Well, Scott Ackerman was running your writer room, too.

He was, yes.

There you go.

Somebody just wrote this, which I was just sort of taken with.

Mike asked, is Jack McBrair real?

Of course.

Yeah.

Like a real person?

Like a real person.

Yeah.

I mean, I get it.

Like, he looks like a creation of fiction because he's so wonderful.

Can I say something about Jack McBray?

I do worry that if he spends more time in the sun, that eventually he won't be real.

He'll just like disintegrate into like he does love the sun and he does not care about whatever data it is.

i would say he's realer than real deal holyfield whoa

all right whoa and now you um hookers and hoes know how i feel so you didn't forget about dre after all i did not

uh oh okay this is good from grace a few weeks ago a three-year-old demanded to watch sonic 3 based solely on the netflix thumbnail because he had never been exposed to the franchise before in the opening scenes my husband noticed yorma and yelled hey that's yorm to me because we both listened to the pod later that week i was at mcdonald's getting happy meal from my toddler.

I asked him if he wanted nuggets or a cheeseburger, and he told me he wanted a yellow yorm.

I didn't know what that was, so I got him a cheeseburger.

When we got home, he opened his toy, a Knuckles figure from the movie, and he happily exclaimed, A red yorm.

Oh, that's when he realizes he thinks all the hedgehogs are called yorm.

Oh, a red yorm.

Oh, my lord.

Because he knows you're in it, so why wouldn't you be that guy?

Yeah, well, he's like, he heard somebody yell out yorm the first time it came on camera.

That was well worth it to be in that tiny, tiny three-line part just for that story.

Thanks.

Thanks, guys.

Oh, Loving the Pod, Connor.

Hey, Quaz, Loving the Pod, but wanted to point out a funny thing about Steve Martin's King Lear joke in Lasercats.

Robo Face's final line is Good Night, Sweet Princes, which is from Hamlet.

I just think it's a funny joke on a joke that he's not even referencing the right play.

Oh, that's great.

I think we pulled it from Ciderhouse Rules, though.

I don't think we were even thinking about the Shakespeare element.

I think he was.

I think he then made the Lear joke knowing that it was in there, don't you think?

Yes.

Yes.

He's smart and we're not.

I feel like he made it as a joke and I didn't know that it wasn't King Lear.

I don't know.

Which is embarrassing growing up in theater.

My dad's been in theater for 35 years, guys.

But listen, we wrote it in because of Cider House Rules.

Steve Martin saw the line and went, ah, King Lear.

And that's what led him to his joke.

Yes.

But I think he does know that it's from Hamlet.

I think Steve Martin saw it and said, ah, Hamlet, I'll say it's based on King Lear.

He got it right.

And then he put a joke on it.

But it was about two sons, you know, which is King Lear.

Yeah.

Hey, somebody pointed out, and I had to double check that this is true, but their name is Toby, and they write for The Athletic.

And they obviously wanted me to look because they were like, you know, The Athletic is also owned by the New York Times, Home of the Bee.

He's a writer, wrote an article, the headline, The Most Intriguing Wagers around Mets Yankees and more this weekend.

And late in the article, he writes,

it's the same reason that my stack of Ken Griffey Jr.

rookie cards didn't lead to early retirement and instead me toil part-time at Ja New York Times.

And he did say, I cannot tell you how quickly after I posted it, someone in the comments wrote Righteous Killer.

Oh, my God.

Ja Bless.

Ja Bless.

Ja Bless.

We are everywhere.

I mean, a very nice, solid start before we get into the Tracy Morgan show.

And what's the name of the short?

Is it Party Guys?

Yeah, Party Guys.

First of all, this is Tracy Morgan's first time back hosting.

So there's a lot of fun in the show.

But should we just get right into Party Guys?

Because

this is as Kim's video as a Kim's video can be.

Yeah, I think we've wasted enough time.

I mean, let's talk about it at the end.

I don't know if it's even Kim's video, but maybe you're right.

Well, let me say about it.

I remember the game, Andy, and then I was sort of, there's, I counted up.

I think there's 19 beats in like 90 minutes, 90 seconds, sorry.

Yeah.

So I had a real appreciation for the moves and the fact that you guys never slowed down and it just keeps getting faster.

Yeah.

And it's, you know, is it a trifle?

Sure, but it is, I think there's another version of the sketch that has eight beats.

And I was happy to remember that this one has 19.

I thought I was going to go eight when I re-watched it.

Yeah.

It does seem like this is starting to become like a, like a little thematic.

I don't know how many more of these we did, but business meeting, this one, and what's the other one that are like basically the same game, but it's kind of a thing.

I mean, Seth, it makes sense to me that you would like it, though, because isn't trifle your favorite dessert?

Trifle is my favorite dessert, and it's my favorite of all the desserts, it's my favorite one that you can use to mean another thing.

Right, great.

Yeah.

Kiva, for $10,000, can you think of another dessert that also means another thing?

Baked Alaska.

Because when you're high in Alaska.

Exactly.

I thought you were going to mean that's what happens if like Alaska catches on fire.

Oh, yeah.

Like when there's a forest fire, you you're like i'm such a stoner sorry i'm such a sunday i think sunday's the most famous one sunday would have earned you ten thousand dollars

unfortunately the time is up

it's a different spelling i don't want to pay i don't want to pay the ten grand man i need the cash i don't know man they're using

this mortgage man it was sunday sunday was the answer yorm but it's with an e

y

do you want to go right into the short or do you want to talk about tracy morgan show can we talk a little bit about the show like yeah I'm asking selfishly because I don't remember shooting this short with you, Turkeys.

I mean, my voice is in it, so I was involved, but I don't think you were there.

Yeah, but what the fuck was I doing that week?

Let's look through the rundown and see.

Well, it's 2009, March.

So when do we shoot the Magooba movie?

Is that this coming summer?

Yeah, I may have been editing.

So are you location scouting in Albuquerque?

No, I would never have been allowed out to location scout.

No, that didn't happen.

But I could have been editing if we were.

No, no, but didn't we shoot in in the summer of 2009?

Or did we shoot in the summer of 2008?

2009.

So, yeah.

So I couldn't have been doing that.

So prep.

So you're writing, you're prepping, your brain is crazy, but you're right.

You would not be let out for that.

You know how it was.

There was no way.

We were only allowed out for breaks.

I did not ever work

during the school year.

I have a suggestion.

The back and forth on this schedule thing, I would argue, is like borderline interesting.

Could we slow it down?

Interesting.

Let's go out of a calendar.

Yeah, let's go slower.

I I just mean like physically find a function in Pro Tools or something and just like make it that you guys are talking slower.

Take it down to like 70%.

Exactly.

It was.

Wait, what do you guys say?

Like, do you want to slow it down two dibbles?

Yeah.

No, that's levels.

That's levels.

That's just volume.

That's crazy what you just said.

So we can screw it.

You want to like chop and screw it.

Well, I think my favorite thing, Andy, is they never have the date at their fingertips.

Like, there's a lot of like, let me find the date.

Yeah.

Like, that's the most fun part of this process so the opening month the opening monologue with tracy morgan i remember getting pulled in to shoot a piece for it and they said hey you're gonna put this guy from wwe i remember this too i'm glad you're saying this and i was kind of like didn't have a clue who he was me neither and he showed up and was very professional and cool and cool and mail everything

and we did it and it was john cena oh wow yeah i don't remember it at all i remember it was that thing of being told someone's a huge deal in their world.

And you're, I wrote that cold open, and I don't know kind of how it came to pass, but thinking, like, yeah, sure, that sounds nice.

And then he was so nice.

And it is kind of crazy how I feel like that was right before he tipped into sort of being a giant mainstream star.

A couple other things about the cold open before we get back to playing, where in the world was Yorma in March of 2009.

Worth it.

Very good.

How we can afford that.

All right.

So the cold open, very rare pre-taped cold open.

Went back and watched it.

I was super happy about it.

Oh, by the way, it is Seth's Corner.

Jorm.

Seth's Corner.

Seth's been talking about what he did that week.

He did the monologue.

Good job, Seth.

Okay, take it away.

Cold opener, rather.

Bye.

So it was about just Tracy being back in 30 Rock and making a big speech about it's like the home of comedy.

And then it just like sort of smash cuts to the aforementioned Emily Spivey.

at the front desk saying like, but you don't have any ID.

And it's just a scene about

finding his way to Studio 8H.

And it's a lot of him seeing two security guards and them staring at him and then him staring at them.

By the way, this is, did you go back and watch it, Keith?

What do you ask?

The John Cena thing?

Yeah.

Sorry, I'm trying to find it.

You can see I'm staring at this other screen.

Sorry.

But it's a very nice Keeve thing, whereas like you think that they're staring at Tracy and then it cuts to a wide and they're just like talking about nonsense.

And Tracy runs over and punches them both in the face.

And then Tracy gets on an elevator with like an older couple.

And then they're like, hey, aren't you Tracy Tracy Morgan?

And then he punches both of them out.

Gets off the elevator.

Simon Rich is in it, punches him out, and then punches out Cena.

But it's great direction by our friend Akiva Schaffer.

Oh, thank you.

This is where TV lives and breathe.

Twelve years ago, I came here a puppy.

I left a man, and now I'm back again, wiser still.

Yet for all my adventures and all my travels, I've learned something.

This building, this building is my home.

So you don't have any ID I'm Tracy Morgan I mean the most notable thing about that to me is that it was a non-political cold open just so fun to let it be silly and it was only two and a half minutes and I feel like every now and then it's so nice to have one of those and historically and I totally understand it Lauren is very opposed to doing a pre-taped piece for the cold open Yeah, so there either probably was nothing good that week

But it was obviously written to be a cold open so it feels good at home.

That felt like we were watching a very special episode.

You're like, ooh, we better strap in.

This is important.

The way Tracy said, wiser still,

like the sentence structure of that has always stuck in my head.

Like as soon as it started playing, I was like, oh, here it comes.

The opening monologue, he had to do to the lens.

And it's not like we have teleprompters.

So that's all, there's no cue cards.

So in very non-SNL fashion, he's off book and delivers it perfectly.

And I remember talking to him beforehand, being like, yo, how are we going to do this cards?

And he was like, I've been working at 30 Rock.

Like, I know how to memorize lines now.

I got it.

And then he did.

And I remember being very impressed by that.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

That's good.

The monologue, there's a very funny moment where he says how much Lauren meant to him.

And he brings him up on stage.

And it's a stage hand.

And the guy says, I've been telling you for 13 years I'm a stage hand.

And it's really nice.

For those at home who want to watch it, it is on Peacock.

Hey, Andy, there was a Brian Fellows in Tracy's Return episode.

And now it's time for a quiz for Andy.

Andy, were you in it?

Fuck.

I know I was in Astronaut Jones.

Okay, that, I don't think you did it this time.

Okay, so yes.

You were.

Based on how long it took you to answer, I have no confidence of the next part, which is what animal did you bring out?

Fucking monkey.

A red-tailed hawk.

Was it a real red-tailed hawk?

It was a real hawk.

Like, so this is a fascinating thing about working at SMS.

I was holding it?

Yeah, like, just imagine, if you're listening right now, just imagine that you're wearing a falconer's glove and a full hawk is on it.

And you've got to walk out and have a conversation with Tracy Morgan with a hawk on your arm.

And then not 100 years in the future, but just like 15, someone's like, did you, what animal was it?

And you're like, monkey?

Right.

You had a hawk on your arm.

That really distills me.

It's because I was so focused on party guys.

Yeah.

Anyway, it was Scared Straight.

It was very funny, Scared Straight.

I remember that.

Oh, but also, and Scared Straight, it made me laugh.

Tracy Morgan said to you, he pulled you up and he said, where'd you get the beer Bob Dylan?

Which weirdly is like a callback to our last pot.

Oh, my God.

All right.

So, oh, there's one other sketch that we have to talk about before we talk about the digital short, which I think about a lot.

It's a great sketch, Rocket Dog.

Oh, I don't remember it.

Rocket Dog is Wig hosts a show that talks about upcoming children's films.

And Tracy is the director of a film called Rocket Dog.

And they cut to a clip of Rocket Dog.

And it's Andy, you are a little boy.

Oh.

And you have a dog wearing a jetpack.

Okay.

And it's clearly the last scene of the movie.

And the dog shoots off into outer space.

And then it cuts to an immemorium of the dog.

And then it cuts back

to wig.

And first of all, it's really best of Mulaney, Richard, and Sawyer.

Yes, yes.

And I actually texted Simon to confirm this is where they got the idea.

I remember we were at the re-ray table the week before, and Paula Pell, who is truly one of the greatest lovers of animals in the world, she is the greatest gift to the animal kingdom.

She's a great adopter of pets.

And she was telling a story about how awful animals have been treated on a kids' movie and how they had filmed it in a country where there were like laxer laws and a bunch of dogs and cats had died in the making of a beloved children's film, which due to legal reasons, I'm not going to say the title of, but I definitely remember.

But while she was telling this story, Simon's eyes were getting so wide with glee

because it was seeding in him that he was going to write a sketch about a children's movie where all the animals died.

So they rolled a clip.

Here's that we have a dog.

Okay.

A couple things.

You chose to play a clip that was the ending of your movie.

Yeah.

Okay, I just wanted to make sure that you knew that.

Also, I noticed that the dog who played Rocket Dog passed away.

Yeah, you know that was very sad.

On a movie set, you become like a family.

Then one day you have to strap a rocket onto a member of your family and set that thing on fire.

And there's a line that Tracy says throughout the sketch that I always remember, which is, Houston, we have a dog.

And then they show other clips.

In the second clip, the dog died, two other animals died, and also Andy's actor died.

And then the third scene, Bobby is now playing Andy's part.

Oh, hell yeah.

It's a really good, it's the last sketch of the night, and it's the dream of what a five-to-oneer is supposed to be.

Wonderful.

Good stuff.

Houston, we have a dog.

Houston, we have a dog.

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All right, now we're into party guys.

Talk to me.

Where did we shoot it?

I don't know.

I don't remember where I was, but we're going to get to the bottom of it.

It was a real apartment.

It was a rare time where we must have had it early enough that they could get us some sort of a location, right?

Nope.

Or we had a hotel.

It was Flat Hotel.

It was?

Really?

It looked like a real apartment.

We did a great job faking it.

Forget what I said.

We got a better room than normal.

Yeah, the fact that I'm looking at this frame and there's a wall and then a, there must have been a balcony.

Dude, that's a way better room.

I remember it being Flat Hotel, and I might be wrong.

No, but you might be right.

But look, look at we've got like a corner with two different sliding glass doors and a wall here.

This is a big suite.

That looks like a real place.

But you're right.

It could just be a giant hotel suite.

I'm almost positive.

I think it might be a giant hotel suite because it also is too big to be an apartment.

You're right.

And it has no decorations besides what was thrown up.

I think it's the same apartment we shot some of those shots for Hero Song in, even.

Hmm, the same big hotel room.

There was like a bigger, nice one.

Go to the very end, Keith, and tell me how long it actually is from start to finish.

Okay.

It's exactly 90 seconds.

All right.

So 90 seconds, 19 beats.

19 comedy beats.

I think 21 beats.

So, I mean, do we want to watch it through or talk it through?

I mean, you could say what the basic premise is, and then we could watch it to remember things.

All right, so Andy and Bill walk into a party and they're like, ugh, I hate this place.

Check out that dude, cuts to Bobby looking like a dummy.

Look at those two winners, Casey Wilson, Abby Elliott, looking like the kind of girls you don't want to hang out with at a party.

And then 19 jokes.

And Yorm is correct.

It's the same kind of exploration as business meeting.

Yep.

All right.

I'm going to hit play.

I hate these parties.

I know.

So lame.

It's always the same people, man.

No kidding.

Look at this dude.

Nice shirt.

Check out these winners.

Here we go.

Look at these jokers.

Three jokers.

Oh, boy.

Check out Mr.

Personality.

Why do we keep coming to these things?

I don't know.

Hey, look at this num nuts.

I mean, we like seeing the writers.

It's all people that are known now or have voice notes into this.

It is, I will say, we get a lot of and golden era and writing staff in this one.

Yeah.

And first first we have, these aren't writers, but we have Abby and Casey as our party girls.

And then, yeah, three jokers that obviously we weren't going to make any of our writers get through the makeup.

So these are background people that nicely did it.

Then we got Keenan as Mr.

Personality with a sash.

Keenan in a nice suit with a sash that says Mr.

Personalities.

I don't know.

Hey, look at this numb nuts.

Okay, our first really good one.

Numb nuts is Lutz with his pants down, sitting on a block of ice, drinking a beer.

Yeah, I like that.

Lutz was cool with it.

He was just like, yeah, I'll show him.

Sure.

Yeah.

Numbnuts is a real good one.

Next one might be my least favorite.

Oh, let's talk.

Check out that turd burglar.

That's your least favorite?

It's pretty good.

That might be my favorite already.

I got a reason, though.

This is a guy stealing a turd out of a toilet in the middle of the room.

The toilet's in the middle of the party.

Yeah, he's just like a cat burglar in a street.

It is.

Can I tell you why?

You guys are going to hate me because it's like Mr.

No Fun Logic, Seth.

Yeah.

It was the one where I didn't believe you would say that at a party.

Yeah, sure.

You clearly don't hang out with Will Forte enough.

It was a turn burglary.

By the way, we'll see Will Forte later.

Oh, and how.

All right.

Next one I like.

Hey, look at that guy.

You know, I think it's pronounced gi.

Look at that gi.

Gets nothing from the audience, but I like it too.

I do like Andy's part of it when he cracks himself.

Oh, look at that gi.

We're immediately just folded.

The joke has folded, and is it doing a different game, which is the game?

You say, look at that guy it cuts to a karate suit on a hanger yeah they're making fun of the word guy and bill says i think it's pronounced gi and you say look at that gi again i like that joke

look at those sons of bitches

These guys are so big.

The audience is so fast with the

that it almost sounds like we piped it in.

It's nuts.

Are we sure we didn't pipe it in into the edit?

No, that's the audience.

It's impossibly fast.

Now it's really moving.

Sons of bitches, a litter of puppies.

Those guys are so baked.

Cookies Cookies on a sheet.

Yeah.

Here's now where it gets a little fun for me.

The next one, the setup is Sausage Fest.

And given, I think, 50 chances, I wouldn't have guessed what you did with it.

The fastest shot in history of two guys in Liederhosen doing a little dance.

Holding long sausage links.

It is so fast.

Holding sausage links and dancing together.

Yeah, they're having Sausage Fest.

I believe those are the Hemisath brothers.

Yeah.

Probably.

Our sweet buddies from Wardrobe.

Yeah.

Oh, it totally is.

Yeah, Brian and Matt.

By the way, so next four in a row, I mean, again, now it's fun.

The edits are impossibly fast, and that's what's also saving these.

Yeah, so it's a little bit hard for us to do it.

So, I'll just say, real quick, we'll watch it through.

But for our listeners, the next four are Knucklehead, Hey, Cowboy, What's His Face?

Oh, there's What's His Face, and Look at that asshole.

And again, in each case, I would say, in that great Lonely Island way, you guys go to like the seventh to 51st most obvious choice.

Look at that Knucklehead.

Hey there, cowboy.

What's his face?

Hi.

Check out this ass.

Not cool.

Put the cap drag down.

So, a knucklehead is a talking hand with eyes.

That's your knucklehead.

Great.

Signed off.

Hey, cowboy.

Again, at this point, you think...

As an audience member, you think you have taught me how to see the scene and I'm going to see a cowboy, but instead I see a boy with a cow's head.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's really good.

Then, what's his face?

And it just cuts to a guy whose face is blurred for just just long enough for him to go, huh?

And then look at that asshole, and it's just Fred.

Hey, like, why didn't you even give me a joke?

He says, not cool.

Not cool, yeah.

And then Andy holds up a mouse and says, look what the cat dragged in.

Yeah.

Yeah, Dead Mouse.

Well, it could have been a mouse.

It could have been Dead Mouse's helmet.

Yeah.

That would have taken it to the next level.

Now we really have some speed.

What are we at now time-wise, Keith?

102 plus digital short.

We're exactly one minute in.

All right, you should get like 28 seconds to go, and we've got like nine more beats.

Check out that hot piece of ass.

Here comes the cavalry.

Look at deciding to show his face.

All right.

This is Andy.

It's winning Andy back.

I know that one got me.

I'm surprised that that's the one that got you.

All right, look at that piece of ass.

It's a literally

ass on the stove frying in a frying pan.

Yeah, because it's Hoskin problem.

Here comes the cavalry.

Cavalry enters, which again, like that's where where you that's what i expected on cowboy yeah so yeah i like that the game is just like okay now we're gonna do one right down the middle uh brian tucker front of the cavalry then um look who decided to show his face sedakis is batman with his cowl off and he immediately gets hit by one of the jokers that we've established earlier i think there's a james anderson in the cavalry as well hold on oh boy yep i like that you guys cast the southern pet oh wow yeah everybody made an appearance in this that's great the two most southern cast members outside of Emily Spybag front.

Writers.

Writers of the Writers.

All right, three to go.

Okay, these motherfuckers.

Joast, Klein, and Mulaney.

Joast, Klein, and Mulaney with some older women.

Pre-mother lover video, just kind of foreshadowing.

I did send, I took a screen grab of Joast Klein and Mulaney with older women and Red Solo Cups drinking and partying.

And I just said, SNL after parties used to be so fun.

And remember, guys, when we pitched Mother Lover to Justin, and he was like, but what about that shot in Party Guys?

Yeah.

Isn't this derivative?

It's like, you can't pop with party guys.

We can't do that.

Klein, Joost, and Milady.

Well, I'll do Mother Lovers, but only with them.

That is a great crew, right there.

It is a great crew.

We do have to slow down the beat for you to watch this, though.

Like, it does take a second for you to be like, mothers, people who aren't fucking them.

Yes.

Oh, man.

I can't believe they let Tom in here.

That guy's a serial rapist.

I still can't believe this was allowed to air.

Yeah.

It's a bit of a dick in a box reference right after a mother lover reference.

Yeah.

That guy's a serial rapist and we cut to Borte, bathroom door half open, just going to town on a box of alphabets.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then sees us looking at him and slams the door shut.

Yeah.

He hadn't realized he had left it open until this exact moment.

Yeah.

Got a big laugh.

When I re-watched it, it chilled me.

To my core.

But there you have it.

Yeah.

People like alphabets.

One last joke.

This party blows is an interesting, that's too interesting of a sentence.

To let go and you did nothing.

And then we didn't do anything.

It should have just been like, oh, what do you want to do?

You know what I mean?

Or something.

If you needed a breath there, it should have just been a sigh and something vague.

Right.

Not saying this party blows and then not doing anything with it.

I agree.

Or the joke needed to be that they wait and wait.

I said this party blows.

Like they know the joke is coming, and they're like, What the hell?

Why isn't anything happening?

And then someone just walks up and like blows gently in their face.

That's yeah, that somebody wasn't holding an industrial fan right off camera and just immediately like turn it on.

Exactly.

Oh, sorry, I forgot with the fan because of the joke thing you're doing.

See, we could have punched this up in a second.

We can go back and redo it.

Should we redo it the way, like, Lucas redid all the Star Wars?

I think so.

A nice CGI.

We should put like CGI Jabbas and everything.

Yeah, let's start with this one.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, he goes, this party blows.

We cut to Jabba the Hut with a fan.

They're like, I said this party blows.

And he goes, oh, sorry, fellas.

And then he turns on the fan.

Do the job of laugh again, Andy.

I didn't know you had that.

Pretty cool.

Oh, damn.

Did Bill Hayter just kill it?

Bill does it better.

Yeah, Bill's better at it.

But I can rap better.

I can rap way better.

You know what's funny?

Yeah, never mind.

Nothing's funny.

What are we talking about?

That's the truth.

Jeez.

Whoa, Seth, are you okay, man?

I just, I don't know.

That's dark.

That Cheerios thing spun me out.

Alphabet.

Here we go.

Yeah, you are off your game.

It's crazy.

What are the blows?

Oh, man.

Check out these douchebags.

That's us.

What a sad end.

And it's a little sad end.

It's a sad end.

Yeah.

But it's correct.

It needed to turn on them.

They've been very judgmental.

It's what they get.

Yeah.

Just desserts.

Yeah.

Look at these two douchebags, and then you guys see yourselves and reflection of a mirror.

There is a nice, I mean, it is nice too that you guys came to that conclusion.

It wasn't somebody yelling at you.

Yeah.

And then big sighs of resignation, of knowing it's the truth.

If we had it to do over again, though, Keev, do you think we would have been like, the reveal is that we're centaurs?

And like, who are we to judge?

Oh.

Yeah, Jabba bodies.

Oh, we could do it with CG.

Yeah, half Jabba on the bottom, human on the top.

If anyone's out there who just wants to take the last frame, it's about 129 seconds.

And just.

Sorry, you're saying centaur jabbas?

That you guys are centaur jobs?

Yeah, we're Jabba centaurs.

What would you call that?

Yeah, give them slug bottoms.

Centabas?

Ooh, is that a good SNL commercial parody for next season?

Slug bottoms?

Slug bottoms.

That's what a douchebag is.

It's a half Jabba.

No, you obviously, then you do, you ADR and you're just like, look at those two Jabbas.

Jabba centaurs.

We cut to someone else at the party going, look at those two Jabbas.

Or

half Jabbas.

Slug bottoms.

Whatever.

You know, it's not a big job.

Semi-jobs.

Semi-jabbas.

Yeah.

Oh, look at those two semi-jobs.

Yeah.

Or when you guys come in, like Bill calls you Steve, Andy.

Right.

And then at the end, someone goes, hey, look, it's Steve Jobs.

But then it's you with a Jabba bottom.

Right.

Oh, Steve Jobs.

So they think it's going to be Steve Jobs, but it's actually like the portmanteau of the first name Steve.

And the first name Java.

Yeah.

That's perfect.

Steve Jabba.

We're way better at comedy writing now than we were then.

That's perfect.

Yeah, we did it.

Yeah.

We did it.

And that would make this criterion.

But we didn't do it.

But we didn't do it.

We didn't come close.

So unfortunately, it

just goes on the totally fine pile.

Too fine.

The debate on this is Kim's video or not.

And I don't know that it's our debate to have.

I mean, we need Lynn and Quest Love to come in for so many reasons, by the way.

Yeah.

I had Quest on my show last night talking about his wonderful SNL music documentary.

And he said he did want to wear a Quaid Army shirt, and his stylist wouldn't let him.

Bless his heart.

That's wonderful.

That's a good style.

Speaking of, Quato, what you cooking, man?

Oh, yeah, Quaid, what are you cooking?

Like a grilled cheese or you got some mac and cheese?

Oh, you know what?

You could say to Quato as Wahlberg, say hi to your mother for me.

It's just sort of a shout out to Goose's wife.

To Goose's wife.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Quados.

Say hi to your mother for me.

To Goose's wife.

What are you cooking, Quaid?

Do you think Quato watched Maverick and when he would see Rooster, he'd be like kind of jealous in a weird way?

Like, that's right.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

I'm literally her son.

yeah by the way if he did audition for it I wonder if he went in there and he went uh hey uh Jack Wade auditioning for Rooster oh

I'll just go I'll just go that's our audition bit

and then he's like oh yeah I will say Andy I knew it was our audition bit and I thought you were gonna do uh like great balls of fire or whatever

they say and so the fact that it was cockadoodle do was I did find a great amount of surprise and delight from that.

Miles sings Great Balls of Fire in the new one, right?

Yeah, because that's what kids that age sing.

Well, if you're part of that family, that's the song you sing, Seth.

Wait, who played in the film Great Balls of Fire?

This is just a little question.

Oh, my God.

Who played Jerry Levy?

Guys!

That's correct.

Fuck.

This podcast is like.

Oh, my God.

We're in a simulation.

We are living in a simulation.

Everything is connected.

What year was that movie released?

Obviously, I need to know that now.

807.

great balls of fire i'm gonna say i'm gonna put me down for 87.

all right great balls of fire i saw it in the theater i was just at the age where i could go do that 89.

okay okay guys this is a lot to think about what year was hot what year was um top guns or top gun yeah 86 right 86.

okay so somebody was watching Meg was on the on the set.

Yeah.

Goose is playing Great Balls of Fire.

She's like, there's something to this.

Get this in development right now.

She goes home, honey, I heard a song today from the 60s.

I think there's a whole movie there.

This guy married his cousin who was 13.

Quato, please confirm.

We got to get in on this.

Please confirm, Quato.

I have a problem.

I think my problem with this theory,

I bet Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid aren't a couple yet.

Oh, God.

Fuck.

Then the whole thing fucking falls apart.

What year

did Meg Ryan?

Quato, once you're done with your grilled cheese, which smells delicious, by the way.

Yeah, they met on the film DOA in 1988.

Shit.

So post-oh, but it still could work.

He's like, oh, anything cool happened on the set of Top Guns?

They had previously worked together on Inner Space, of course, in 87, but their romance blossomed during DOA.

Wait a minute.

DOA, Yorm, isn't that the movie you told us that you like to jerk to?

Well,

Andy, that's a confidence.

You said that your totally good penis likes to get jerked to DOA.

Totally normal size, clean.

Fuck, but this is a lot.

This is a lot to process with Great Balls of Fire.

Minimum, minimum, Meg Ryan had to hear Anthony Edwards singing it a bunch on set.

And then just three years later, you have to hear it being sung like from the shower and from like the kitchen, just rehearsing at home.

So she's heard the song a lot.

I think we can agree bare minimum at some point, she could have gone, oh, I know that song.

Andy?

Yeah.

I would like to do real quick you walking in to audition for Jerry Lee Lewis.

Oh, great.

Hey, guys.

Hey, how are you?

Oh, wait.

Well, I mean, when that was casting, it would be like.

Hi.

Oh, hi.

Okay, so you're a little young, but.

I'm a little boy.

Hi.

So, sorry, you're Andy from the Bay Area?

Yeah, I'm Jerry Lee Lewis.

Okay, great.

Well, you know, whenever you're ready, just let us see what you have.

Okay, then.

So, just when I'm ready?

Yeah, whenever you're ready.

Okay.

You drink my nerves and you rattle my brain.

You gotta live on my merit train.

I'm gonna go.

I'm just gonna go.

You always make it really, you make it easy on the casting directors that they don't have to kick you out.

Yeah, I let them off the hook and just leave because you know when it's not right.

Yeah, I've actually done that several times.

Just like okay.

You have your do you think you maybe fucked yourself out of a job doing it, though?

Oh, no, definitely.

I uh for Wolf of Wall Street, I was like, and that didn't work.

See you later.

Oh, wow.

What were you auditioning for in Wolf of Wall Street, bud?

The Margot Robbie part.

He's like, ooh, Leo.

I was

one of the traders, and a friend of mine got the part and said.

One of the traders.

It's a movie about stocks, Andy.

Oh, traders with a D.

Yeah.

Not like the show, The Traders.

I was like, Yeah, there is a lot of betrayal.

A lot of betrayal in that movie.

Well, this was just great, and we so enjoyed our time together once again.

Seth, I'm good for dinner.

Boom!

But what time?

Didn't you want 5 p.m.?

Yeah, can you just come here to the hotel?

Yeah.

You can even come earlier if you want.

First time anyone's ever said that to me.

I had a second cup of job.

I had a second cup of job.

Shit.

Well, all right, I crashed.

Great.

And I crashed.

It's over.

How's the movie?

Where are you in the movie, Keith?

I feel like it's forthcoming.

Movie is locked, picture, and now it's the one month or three weeks of like crazy grind of doing the entire sound mix, getting all the VFX in and doing all the color correction.

Great.

Bing bong.

That's very exciting.

So that's what we're doing.

August, correct?

August 1st, probably July 31st, I guess, would be the Thursday night screenings.

But yeah, so we got to get it done by the end of June so that they can make the DCPs as they're known as for July.

Very exciting.

What does it stand for?

What does it stand for, Keith?

DCP?

Digital Cinema Projection?

Is that right?

That sounds great.

Jorm, did you say bing bong?

I did.

I've been saying bing bong a bit too much, I would say.

Right.

Because they lost.

Digital cinema package.

Yeah.

Oh, Jorm didn't want to show his digital cinema package.

I don't know why.

It's completely good.

Well, Jorm did.

I did.

Sorry, I did.

I apologize.

Jorm very much did.

Mari didn't want to.

She's like, because it's so big that I think it could fuck up our marriage.

Yeah.

It might fuck up the screen.

Right.

It will like break people's TVs.

Like, would it even fit on there?

People will be like, whoa, my TV just exploded.

What else is smaller than you told me?

Is this apartment smaller than you told me?

Is our car smaller than you told me?

You're going to mess up other people's relationships because they're going to be like, whoa, it could be like that?

I didn't know it could be like that.

That thing is fine.

Oh, we're getting divorced.

This is the dude.

Yeah, well, I don't know.

Yeah, sure.

No, I was doing an impression of every lady watching.

The dude's like, I just realized I want to get plowed.

Dicks out there.

All this time, I was straight because because I thought dicks were little.

That was the impression of all the ladies about me.

Oh, shit, we're going to get divorced.

Because of that dude.

It's like a fucking dude from Jersey for some reason.

Yeah.

Oh, shit, I'm out of here.

My whole life, I was like, I don't want to get reamed because I think dicks are little like mine.

But then I saw this kid on Girls, my favorite show.

Oh, shit.

We're going to get divorced divorced because you deserve better.

Oh, okay.

That's all anyway.

I just picturing the brunch where everybody's saying to that dude's wife, like, wait, what happened?

It's complicated.

Tony saw.

Explain this again.

So you were watching.

Just watch it, girls.

Tony saw another man's penis for the first time.

That was totally just a good, average-sized penis.

He felt so guilty about his penis and our marriage that he said he was going to step aside so she could experience that.

He kept calling it that great big thing.

Honestly, shockingly generous, super out of character for him, frankly.

Yeah, he was just like, life's too short, honey.

Don't worry about me.

I'm just going to barbecue the rest of the time.

Yeah.

Brought me flowers when he told me.

He's like, enjoy yourself.

And let me tell you, I didn't know.

I didn't know.

I didn't know how average it could be.

I didn't know.

All right.

Well, anyway.

This is just like a writing night.

Sometimes you just have to go down a bunch of different roads before you find what it's going to be about.

Now you wish you could just start over.

Yeah.

You root around in the dark and then you find, you know, a little light.

If that was the cold open of a movie, believe me, I'm watching the whole thing.

All movie.

So listen to this one backwards.

Yeah.

And slow down.

I'm going to design a shirt and send it to you guys in the next like five minutes.

I think it's going to be real good.

Oh, okay.

I look forward to that.

Great.

All right.

Love you guys.

All right.

Love you, buddies.

Talk soon.

It was fun.

Love you.

Bye.