616: Trinity-Totaller Edition

So, what do this animal

and this animal

and this animal

have in common?

They all live on an organic valley farm.

Organic Valley dairy comes from small organic family farms that protect the land and the plants and animals that live on it from toxic pesticides, which leads to a thriving ecosystem and delicious, nutritious milk and cheese.

Learn more at ov.coop and taste the difference.

Azure Well, wellness you can trust.

Our supplements are made with real whole food ingredients and zero synthetic fillers, just clean potent formulas designed to support your everyday health, whether you're focused on energy, immunity, or balance.

Visit azurewell.com to shop our full line of supplements and use code iHeartAZ15 for 15% off your first order.

That's A-Z-U-R-E livingwell.com, code iHeartAZ15.

Clean starts here.

New customers only first order a minimum of $100 Terms apply.

Warning, the following podcast doesn't just contain adult language.

It's brought to you by adult language.

This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Adam and Eve, BetterHelp, Factor, and by Sharman's new brand of Christian Apologetics.

Sharman Apologetics.

We've been cleaning up shit and catering to assholes for so long, apologetics seem like the next logical step.

And now, The Scathing Atheist.

Hey there, everybody.

I'm Jeffrey Blackwell, legal director for American Atheists and co-host of The Not So Grand Jury, the podcast that examines the law through popular culture.

It's kind of like a lot of movies, but not in a legally actionable way.

As an expert in First Amendment law, I'm here to tell you that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey folk, which is one of the many reasons you absolutely should not take legal advice from a podcast, or a TV show, or social media, or a movie, or presidents, or the incoming Attorney General, or a billionaire.

It's Thursday.

It's December 12th.

And no illusions is cigarette-free for five years and counting.

Five years years today.

You know how we could celebrate.

No, no.

I will tase you.

Fine, fine.

I'm No Illusions.

I'm Eli Bosnik.

I'm Heath Henright.

And from Balls, Mahoney's, New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Wake Ross, Georgia, this is the Scathing Atheist.

Oh, this week's episode, Christians reject our adorable satanic gnomes.

Our next chief of public health takes a fake shower like eight-year-old me trying to trick my mom.

And C.S.

Lewis will prove himself to be as bad at math as he is at analogies.

But first, the diatribe

in a sane world, this would be a pretty easy lawsuit.

Once the vaccine for COVID-19 was widely available, Boston College issued a policy requiring that everyone that worked for them get vaccinated.

Because otherwise, you would be killing people, which would be among other things a huge pain in the ass right so they did offer a few exemptions to the policy some people can't take certain vaccines for medical reasons and that's reasonable some people also refused to take vaccines for religious reasons and that's not but boston college had exemptions in their policy for both you just had to bring a note from your doctor or your faith leader explaining why you needed to be exempt Now, as I'm sure you'll recall, getting a faith leader to write a letter exempting you from the vaccine was about as hard as finding a hot take on the the latest Star Wars property.

But when Evidi Ragaj, a Boston college landscaper and devout bogomile, demanded an exemption, he didn't submit one of those letters.

Perhaps that was because his tiny 11th century offshoot of Christianity of a faith doesn't actually have any policies about vaccinations.

Perhaps it was because it's hard to find a religious leader when your faith has like 26 adherents and most of them are in Bulgaria.

But for whatever reason, he didn't submit the proper paperwork and he was fired.

So he sued for wrongful termination, claiming religious discrimination.

So in response, Boston College moved to dismiss the lawsuit because obviously they had a policy for religious exemptions.

This guy didn't go through that.

He also added a bunch of weird shit to his lawyerless lawsuit about how he's an ethnobotanist and Boston College's policies violate his medical practice.

It's exactly the kind of lawsuit that reminds us why we have dismissals.

But

along the way, he used the magic word.

When he was scrolling his idiotic objections with his feces-covered crayon, he included the word religious so the judges allowing it to go to trial.

Because even though Boston College did provide for religious exemptions, they didn't bend over backwards for one and offer exemptions even to the exemptions and endanger the lives of their employees and students and ignore science and common sense for one goddamn stupid fucking objection.

And damn it, those are the rules now.

You have to do that.

As soon as a person says sincerely held religious belief, all of jurisprudence and legal precedent needs to get the fuck out of the way for a minute.

And at this point, again, if we were in a sane world or even a sane adjacent world, Boston College's defense on this would be, well, you know, we didn't want people to die of COVID.

And the judge would say, yippers, and he'd bang his little hammer and they'd move on to another case.

But you can't even see sanity from where we are.

So instead, Boston College's argument seems to be that accommodating Agadja's sincerely held religious beliefs would violate their sincerely held religious beliefs.

For reals.

Because BC, that's a Catholic college.

And in December of 2020, four months before they instituted their vaccine policy, the Vatican released a statement calling on Catholics to get the vaccine as soon as it became available.

This was said to be part of their religious duty to, quote, protect one's own health and, quote, preserve the common good, end quote.

So they're basically fighting cooties with cooties in this lawsuit.

And where does this leave the courts?

Right?

They're basically left adjudicating, I got you, no, I got you.

They're going to put on suits and say fancy words and sprinkle in some Latin phrases or whatever, but make no mistake, that's what they're doing because sincerely held religious belief could only ever be a farce, a fucking mockery of the very concept of equal justice and reality for that matter.

And it was only a matter of time before one imagination was going to have to fight another imagination with a courtroom looking on.

And as bad as this is, this is actually the good form of this because I don't doubt in this instance that both parties are being more or less at least honest about their beliefs here.

I don't think Bogomilism actually has an anti-vaccine stance and the extent to which Age had to invent tenuous connections in his complaint backs me up on that.

He can't have the vaccine, for example, because his body is a temple and temples can't take vaccines.

But I don't doubt that he sincerely believes he doesn't want to take the vaccine and sincerely believes his religion grants him that right.

And I don't doubt that the college is acting largely in accordance with their religious beliefs and insisting that he does.

But that won't always be the case.

And the courts, by their own admission, can't really distinguish when it is.

They can't actually gauge the sincerity of one's belief, so they can only take a person's word for it.

Sure, they can consider their behavior before and after, but they generally don't, right?

Like there's no way in hell that this case is going to hinge on the fact that like a god's got other vaccines previously.

None of the vaccine exemption cases that I'm aware have ever taken that shit into account.

So, look for a lot more of this shit in the future.

Look for religious plaintiffs and defendants dueling with their get out of jail free cards one against the other and look for an ever-expanding list of beliefs that religious people sincerely hold.

As it stands, there's an unlimited exemption to the law on the books, and I promise you that it will keep expanding until it explodes.

They're talking about your Jesus.

Joining me for headlines tonight are the fire and water to Mike Grass, Heath Enright, and Eli Bosnik.

Fellas, are you ready to catch them all up on the news?

Pokemon Snorlax.

Okay, I promise to write you if you're wrong.

There you go.

Well done.

And since Pokemon makes Eli think of fuck stuff anyway, we're going to pause for a word from our first sponsor this week, Adam and Eve.

Oh my, no.

Oh no, no.

Hey, Santa, what's the matter?

Oh, hey there, Twinkle Toes.

It's just that so many of the good children Santa loves so much have grown up.

They no longer want toy trains and slinkies, army men, and stick and hoop.

Really, Santa?

What do they want?

Oh, so many things, Twinkle Toes.

Dildos and fuck outfits, warming lubricants and edible underwear.

But Santa can't make any of that.

Well, Santa, you don't need to.

I don't.

You sure don't.

Just order those things from adamandeve.com.

What's adamandeve.com?

I'm not loving having Santa say that.

Heath, get out of the sketch, you prude.

I'm just saying.

They're the number one online adult toy superstore.

They started out sending mail-order condoms as a master's thesis in family planning, and now they're an LGBTQ affirming and sex-positive adult retailer that has something for everyone.

Everyone, you say, but Twinkletoes, is there a deal of some kind?

There sure is.

You have got to take advantage of this brand new deal from Adam and Eve at AdamandEve.com slash scathing.

What is it?

Go to adamandeve.com slash scathing and pick any four sex toys for just $20.

$20?

You're shitting me.

No, I'm not, Santa.

Four toys for $20, literally saving up to $175 with this exclusive offer.

Holidays are around the corner.

Treat yourself or your partner partner to the best stocking stuffers.

Take a look at adamandeve.com/slash scathing to see which four sex toys will be yours for just $20.

Go to adamandeve.com/slash scathing.

It's the only way to get this offer.

Oh, Dwinkletoes, you've saved Christmas.

No problem, Santa.

Still said that none of them want these nutcrackers, though.

Well, that depends on the nutcrackers.

I'm talking about the doll.

Yep, got it.

Sure.

No, you're not.

And now, back to the headlines.

In our lead story tonight, as you'll no doubt know from your marching orders, the war on Christmas has begun.

Yes.

This is, of course, the fictional conflict that American Christians fetishize into existence for their annual martyrdom cosplay.

Wow.

And consists of charging American corporations that spend tens of millions advertising Christmas sales and putting up Christmas decorations of ignoring Christmas and pretending that vague acknowledgments of their favorite holiday are persecuting the specific ones.

And that war on Christmas doesn't exist.

That's just bullshit.

No.

But there is a real war being waged, and that war is on anybody but Christians being allowed to participate in said holiday.

That's right.

So if you're having a pansexual orgy right now with jingle bells playing at full volume, you are a war hero.

Fuck yeah.

On top of being, you know, just a happy person.

So gravy.

Yes.

Hatterna it up.

Fun fact, at our Christmas parade in my town in New Jersey, a bagel owner shop said people are afraid to say Merry Christmas.

And the mayor of my town told him to shut the fuck up on microphone.

Nice.

It's great here in Jersey is what I'm saying.

Unfortunately, it's not that great everywhere.

So we're going to go to West Virginia, the king of it not being great when it comes to states, specifically Parkersburg, West Virginia, where a pagan organization has been excluded from the Parkersburg Christmas parade because of their religion.

The group in question is Appalachian Pagan Ministry, a registered 501c3 that appears to do good work with convicts and ex-convicts trying to reintegrate into society.

Yeah, because fuck Jesus Christ personally.

Yes, exactly.

Yeah, right.

Exactly.

Winning the war.

So, yeah, so they wanted to highlight their outreach with the parade floats.

With all these least of these, motherfuckers.

Yeah, right.

Bunch of bullshit.

No, but they wanted to highlight their outreach with a parade float, but they were told by the mayor's office that they weren't welcome in the city-sponsored parade because their website states that they work with Satanists.

I mean, man, if that's how you want to play it, we're going to tell everybody that you work with Christians and those guys fuck kids.

Right, yeah, right.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

The poor city of Parkersburg must have missed out on some awesome baby-eating monster or Chas Stevens-style butt-plug jesus in their parade but no it was christmas gnomes so stupid they're the best the the group was in no way trying to alienate the community quite the opposite in fact

cowards no no no so look they were trying to remove a bit of the stigma against their faith by highlighting the work that they were doing in the community they'd intentionally gone with the least offensive possible thing yeah They were going to make a Krampus float, but then they voted that down.

They switched over to Christmas gnomes just to be extra nice about it.

Yes.

They didn't have to do that.

Right.

But even that was too much for Mayor Tom Joyce, who is so ridiculously ignorant of the law that he allowed his office to put a bunch of this shit down in emails.

And so funny.

Appalachian Pagan Ministry has already made it clear that they intend to sue.

So good luck with that.

It should be easy.

Okay.

So at some point, this evangelical mayor called like an emergency meeting.

He was like, our parade is being infiltrated by evil.

And he popped up an image on his projector of adorable gnomes with Christmas hats.

They're amazing.

Yep.

Looks like ZZ Top at a Christmas parade float form.

It really does.

Yeah.

But now that he's instigated the fuck around part of the equation, I'm guessing the gnomes are going to be a lot less friendly slash inside someone's butt next time.

Yeah, that's what I'm hoping for.

And look, pagan groups get excluded from Christmas parade.

That's not exactly lead story levels of news here, but the increasing effort to eradicate all non-Christian views from the public square is.

And it happens in tiny increments and small stories that fly under the radar because most public squares fly under the radar.

So be ready for a lot more stories like this in the near future as Trump and Bolton's idiots like this shit fucking mayor and be on the lookout for them to jump from atheist podcasts to the local news.

To whatever extent that's still a thing where you are.

And in it's pronounced nativite news.

After reporting on cries of oppression for almost 10 years, I was beginning to think I'd seen everything in the war on Christmas.

All possible whines and complaints, all variations of blunder and bullying.

But here, the scathing atheist, religion always manages to surprise us with the depths to which it will sink, which is why, this week, I'm pleased to tell you the story of an Iowa pastor who, in response to complaints about a nativity scene last year, included in his nativity scene this year,

a cardboard atheist trying to to kill baby J.

I love it so fucking much.

I'm just picturing a Walgreens employee cardboard scanning a plan B, handing it back to Mary.

Hey, look, if you guys didn't want us to eat him, just stop talking about how tender and mild he is all the time.

Exactly.

Right?

There's a fucking, there's a reason Charlotte rejected the word crunchy for her web, Christians.

Come on.

Right.

So this story comes to us from Toledo, Ohio, because of course it does.

Last year, the fire department erected a nativity scene.

A local atheist sent a letter to the city, so they added Santa and a reindeer.

I want to say for the record, I'm not sure how that helped.

Right, yeah.

Apparently it did for everyone except Pastor Adam Todd, who, aside from looking like a chia pet filled with racism instead of chia seeds, is a pastor at the nearby Solid Rock Church.

Yeah, no, what could be less Christian than the inclusion of a Christian saint into the picture?

Exactly.

So during a sermon in which he explained his never-ending rage at the inclusion of Santa and a reindeer, he had an idea.

Quote, you know, next year, I told my family, by next year, we need to have something that it'd fit in, same style to go with our nativity.

We ought to have over here lurking in the shadows a King Herod with a knife looking to kill baby Jesus and then tell everybody that's the representation for atheists.

That way we're all inclusive.

We can represent everybody.

And we can represent atheists by having King Herod over here.

We can represent Satanists by having King Herod over here trying to stab little baby Jesus.

That's all that's going on.

I mean, I'm dead serious.

That's what makes it so funny, man.

Yes, I know.

We ought to do that.

King Herod has a place in every nativity, and he represents the atheists and the cowards and the Satanists because all they're trying to do is kill Christ.

Okay.

Kind of reductionist.

Like we're doing other stuff too, right?

Yes, right.

Like board game night, for example.

Thank you.

We'll kill Christ later that night.

I don't know.

Sure, sure.

We got to kill him once.

We'll get to it.

Well,

that time is upon us.

Then, podcast listener, sure enough, the church's nativity scene this year includes a cardboard Herod with a knife wearing a crown labeled atheist approaching the holy family from behind to murder them.

I included a picture in our heads.

I love that his idea was so fucking stupid that he needed to label it like it's a vague political cartoon that's not clear enough.

Like, okay, I do have a crown that says atheist on it, but that's not the point.

It's just silly that he had to do that.

And his shirt says hair red on it.

I'm just, I'm proud that their model for the ideal atheist was clearly our very own Cecil something Italian.

This bears a striking resentment.

It's so fucking funny.

You have to look at this.

I love, though, that his actual message is, the problem with the nativity scene is that there's no one there to hate.

Yep.

Exactly.

And while it's rare for the religious to admit defeat as openly as Pastor Adam just did, I do have one suggestion for next year that would really hit the theme home.

Three atheist shepherds laughing at the family who are about to be murdered by Herod.

I just think it would really complete the picture.

So hit us up if you need subjects, Adam.

We got a cartoonist and everything.

Yeah, we do.

And on that note, we're going to pause for a word from this week's second sponsor, BetterHelp.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Okay, what about Betty and Esther?

Dude, are you serious?

They're going to get started on how Joe Biden made eggs to expensive.

Right, right.

The eggs thing.

Good call.

Hey, guys.

What are you doing?

Wow, we're trying to set the seating arrangements for Christmas dinner.

Our families have some

interesting characters yeah i bet and if everything doesn't go absolutely perfectly we are going to lose it i cry imagining it going wrong guys guys that seems like an unhealthy amount of stress about something that should bring you joy have you considered therapy wait therapy like for holiday stress for whatever you're dealing with and if you're thinking of starting therapy give better help a try it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist at any time for no additional charge.

So, no awkward therapist breakups?

No awkward therapist breakups.

Find comfort this December with BetterHelp.

Visit betterhelp.com/slash scathing today to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp, h-e-l-p.com/slash/scathing.

All right, Noah.

Thanks.

Hey, what's this tiny table in the pantry for?

It's a

slur timeout.

Okay, but you're going to need more chairs.

More chairs, yeah.

Good call.

Yeah.

And we're back next up in headlines in his ark is worse than his bite news.

I need to make a quick update to my Christmas list this year upon learning that Dutch carpenter and person with criminally absurd priorities, Johann Hebers, is auctioning off his 122-meter long replica of Noah's Ark.

The ship, which cost over 4 million euros to build, is being sold to the highest bidder, which at the moment of this record is a paltry 365,000 euros.

So this thing is pretty much a stale.

We can't afford not to buy it.

And I know a lot of other people might want this thing as bad as me, but most of them aren't named Noah.

So I feel like I should get priority on this shit.

I feel like the onion needs to put together a bit.

They got extra money.

They got some cash free.

Yeah, exactly.

I like to think Noah was really blown away by my Lego Nintendo that I got him for Christmas.

And this is just the next step up, Chase.

That is a pretty cool Lego set.

So, all right, so we've talked about Hebrews on this show and his wacky boat building shenanigans as far back as episode 174.

He's actually built not one, but two arc replicas.

Now, they're both much less impressive than Ken Ham's on account of being much smaller, and much more impressive than Ken Ham's on account of being seaworthy.

Or, I will buoyant, I guess.

Their seaworthiness.

As far as I know, he's never had to sue an insurance company about flood damage.

Right,

yeah.

But, yeah, like I said, their seaworthiness is debatable and was debated at length between the Dutch and British governments when it came to the first one.

But the second one is technically seaworthy, and that's the one that he's selling.

It was unveiled in 2012 and was intended as a floating museum that would spread the good word about Jesus, but

nobody really wanted that to exist in the world, so nobody went, and that effort ended in 2016.

And since then, the gigantic boat has been moored in the Dutch city and series of words from a drunken Scrabble match, Krimpen ein den Nudsu, ever since.

Okay, what's the best case scenario for these arc building idiots?

Like, there's a giant flood in their town, and they're just like floating through, fucking their daughters on the deck, being like, told you, idiots.

That's a weird wind condition, guys.

Yes, it is.

Also, just a quick reminder that because his boat's a piece of shit, part of the reason he's selling it is that every day it's moored in Funden, Munden, Dutch City, it acquires about $100 in your boat is fucking stupid.

Yeah, you're not allowed to park a boat for free pretty much anywhere.

Just so many tickets on that dashboard.

It's all

like mine.

Yeah, right.

Now, Hebrus has been clear

that

he won't sell the boat to just anybody.

He's hoping to offload it on somebody who will use it for the purpose it was intended for.

That being the purpose that was shown to be unwanted by the universe from 2012 to 2016, leading to the current situation.

But he's made it clear that it must, at the very least, be used for a moral purpose.

Quote, if they want to turn it into a brothel, I'm not selling, end quote.

Okay.

So nobody tell them what we're going to do with it yet.

Exactly.

And besides, no one pays on Sarah and Melania's happy fun time fuckboat.

It's a volunteer opportunity.

Right, right, money.

The fucking pineapples just come upside down.

Exactly.

Doing it for exposure.

And they are, though.

And a pizza party.

And in Defying Sanity News, there have been a lot of takes about the release of the movie musical Wicked.

Awe at the breathtaking performances, childlike wonder at the visualization of one of our favorite musicals on the silver screen.

And also, people who are wrong have said things.

And while Noah and Heath were very firm with me that I could not correct the various incorrect opinions about Wicked, the movie musical on air today, I can correct one.

I'm speaking, of course, about the ratio enthusiast and head of 1 million moms, Monica Cole, who took to the internet this week to warn her readers to avoid the musical because it contains witchcraft.

Wait, what?

And also gay people.

Spoilers, Monica, witchcraft.

Did she go into, she didn't know that going?

Did she think it was about candles?

Wicked?

I thought it was wicked.

Damn it.

Great question.

So here's what she had to say.

Quote, alerting all parents, 1 million moms needs your help to make sure as as many people as possible are aware of Universal Pictures pushing the LGBTQ agenda on families, particularly children in the musical Wicked.

Of course, the musical contains a tremendous amount of witchcraft and sorcery, and that content prompts most parents to avoid taking their children to see Wicked.

Famously flopped on Broadway too for the same reason.

Yeah, no, it barely even made half a billion worldwide so far.

She continues, but the film also shows not so discreet cross-dressing and men crushing on men, which parents may not expect.

Remember the good old days when musicals didn't have any gay men involved?

That was the best.

Yeah, and the cross-dressing was discreet.

Ah, yes.

She continues, instead of an uplifting Broadway musical about friendship and family, talents and resources were used to create a dark movie that also pushes wokeness.

Universal Pictures has traded its usual subtlety for intentionality.

Subtlety?

Remember the good old days when Universal made subtle movies like the Fast and Furious Pranced?

Yeah.

But there's more.

Quote, unfortunately, the film adapts the musical into a two-part movie, so there is more to come.

The stars of the film Wicked Part 1 have recently hinted that there will be more LGBTQ content in Wicked Part 2, scheduled for release on November 21st, 2025, just in time for next year's holidays.

Yeah, well, no, but that's when it's easiest to make the baby Jesus cry, Monica.

Duh.

Yeah, he's fresh out the oven.

Exactly.

Anyways, back to the gayness.

Quote, four of the film's main characters are openly queer or gay

in real life.

Or, at the minimum, these actors have spoken about their queer experiences.

As such, the queer representation and visibility in Wicked Part 1 were important to them.

Obviously, this part of the movie is a nod to inclusivity, along with a blatant attempt by Universal to normalize same-sex crushes.

Yeah, if people want to be inclusive, I guess we got to let them.

But if I see a metaphorical head motion in that direction, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

I'll send out a newsletter about it.

She concludes, Universal has now decided to be politically correct instead of providing family-friendly programming.

But Universal should stick to family-friendly entertainment, particularly in children's films, rather than pushing an agenda.

Yeah, no, my agenda isn't an agenda.

It's just a default thing.

In that coincidence, yeah.

Please share this with your friends and family to make sure they are aware of the queer content in Wicked and not blindsided by.

Yes, I say again, I agree with Monica every time she says this.

Please do.

We promise to take you very seriously when you warn us about all the gayness and witchcraft in Wicked.

Yes, exactly.

As moms, we all want to know when Universal is attempting to desensitize our children by normalizing the LGBTQ lifestyle.

Without any subtlety.

Yeah, I remember that in what to expect.

Some things you want to know.

I encourage you to join 1mm in telling Universal Pictures

that we are not buying what they are selling.

Sign our pledge saying you will not support WICET.

Okay, it feels like Monica's just mad that her like black face, green face costume got her in trouble.

Oh, absolutely.

She's getting escorted out of the theater.

She's like, it's green, it doesn't count.

Really?

Really?

She do an undercoat, though?

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, but this last sentence is my favorite part because it's just so self-aware.

She concludes:

Even if you have seen Wicked Part One, you can commit to not watching Wicked Part Two.

Not adding, because we all know all the best songs are in part one.

Once gravity's over, like you really hate the same thing.

We don't want her out.

And finally, tonight, in this candle, smells like a brainworm and my vagina news.

Longtime member of the Curb Your Enthusiasm cast and current extremely disappointing shill for an idiot husband, Cheryl Hines, made headlines last week for two things.

One, she continues being married to Robert F.

Kennedy Jr., despite just so many reasons.

Adultery, murdering bears, murdering people with anti-vaxxer lying all over the world.

A whale chainsaw.

Take your pick.

All kinds of reasons, yeah.

Also, too, she seems to be pivoting her career into the goop space recently with a new line of scented candles.

And how do you get people excited to buy overpriced candles?

By showing them a naked RFK Jr.

taking a shower in a promo video.

Sure, yeah, whatever will burn my retinas out after that, I guess.

Okay, guys, come on.

We all remember when our current Secretary of Health and Human Services,

Xavier Becera, a guy you definitely have heard of before this second when I spoke his name, you guys remember him when his wife, Carolina Reyes, the physician, another public figure you've definitely heard of, sold us something using their positions in the U.S.

government?

This is just business as usual.

The old Reyes

salesman.

Well, fight, fight, fight, scent.

It's going to be awesome.

Yeah.

So Heinz posted the video on Instagram while standing in her bathroom holding up her new candles while her insane husband is completely naked taking a shower in the background.

The crotch area is obscured by Cheryl in the foreground.

It starts with Cheryl laughing and saying, you can't take a shower.

I'm doing a video.

And it's clearly supposed to be this wacky, candid moment when she's doing a thing for the candle company, but RFK Jr.

is showering at this very inopportune moment, little scamp that he is.

But it doesn't even make sense because he already had to be in the shower, and then she walked into the bathroom, set up a camera, and started doing a video.

Or there's a deleted scene before that where she's halfway through her pitch and he just shows up doing the propeller.

Okay, show me.

I have to watch my genitals now.

Honestly, like what we know of RFK Jr., he probably very often needs to wash his genitals right now.

Right now.

There's a lot of worms coming out.

Yeah.

We also get to see RFK Jr.

try to do space work and just completely panic.

There's no water running because it would be too loud for the video.

So he just mimes a fake hair washing motion with his hands over and over and over because that's all he could think of.

He does.

Can I say my favorite part of this space work is where he starts to do like a body scrub and he's like, nope, that's jerking off.

And the video ends with Heinz yelling, 60% off.

And then we cut away from the bathroom and see a quick shot of her new line of candles sitting on a table.

One of the candles is called Hyannis Seagrass.

And apparently it's a quote, clean scent with notes of sage, crisp sea salt, woody cedar, and earthy tonka bean.

And if you're wondering the extent to which it's both invigorating and inspiring, the answer is yes, some amount of both of those things.

Oh.

And we're told to think about ocean air, skinny dipping, and sunshine.

Ah, well, yeah, but hopefully not RFK Jr.

skinny dipping with journalist Olivia Newsy during the affair that they had while she was covering his presidential campaign.

Digital only.

That led Newsy to get fired and led RFK Jr.

to have no consequences whatsoever.

He got appointed.

Yep.

Promoted.

And speaking of campaigns, the other prominent candle we see is labeled Maha or Make America Healthy Again.

This is the slogan being used by the anti-vaxxer who's likely to be in charge of public health.

Despite 77

Nobel laureates writing a dedicated letter describing to America just just how fucking stupid we are and begging the Senate to reject that nomination.

Oh, yeah, the senators are going to listen to you guys.

Hey, maybe you should try praying to God.

Those things will work equally well.

Pray to God.

And while we're on the subject of RFK Jr.

and health, just one other quick piece of news.

For Thanksgiving, we got a video of Bobby Deuce making a turkey in a deep fat fryer full of beef tallow.

And despite turkey being extremely boring and a stupid staple for the main eating-based holiday of the year,

we talk about this.

Doing it deep fried like that is pretty good in my experience.

But I would not have said turkey fried in cow fat is how we can make America healthy again.

No.

RFK Jr.

does literally say that.

And then we watch him take the turkey out of a big pot of scalding hot oil and say, this is the dangerous part.

And he is barefoot at that exact moment.

So I don't think the Nobel laureates focused on that, but it could have been their entire letter if they wanted.

It was

plenty.

Yeah.

They send a PS or something.

And now that Heath has burned the image of a naked RFK Jr.

into your mind forever, our work here is done.

Heath, Eli, thanks as always.

And when we come back, we'll get to the parts of the book C.S.

Lewis was trying to hide.

Oh man, this is going to be so good.

So good.

Hey fellas, what you eating?

Just having a little Christmas dinner.

That's right.

Isn't it a little early for Christmas dinner?

Oh contrary, Noah.

You see, this Christmas dinner is late.

Yeah, we saved this stuff in the fridge from last year.

Yeah, and now we have good eating all year round.

Guys, if you want to eat great meals without the hassle, why don't you just try factor what's

factor from breakfast to dinner and anything in between factor has easy nutritious options to keep you fueled and feeling your best whether you like routine or you enjoy mixing things up factor has you covered with 35 different delicious meals every week and over 60 additional convenience options you can add to your box that sounds great but we don't have time to cook No cooking required.

Factor's fresh, never-frozen meals are ready to heat and eat in just two minutes.

Well, now that's what I'm talking about.

But is it actually good?

It sure is.

Find guilt-free comfort foods like homestyle chicken and gravy and loaded mashed potato pork chops, plus feel-good vegan options like sweet potato and chickpea curry and globally inspired flavors like Peruvian shrimp and red pepper cauligrits.

Fantastic.

Where do I sign up?

Head to factormeals.com slash 50scathing and use the code 50scathing to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping.

That's code 50scathing at factormeals.com slash 50scathing to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping while your subscription is active.

All right, Noah.

Thanks.

Looks like our next meal will be a little fresher than this creamed spinach.

Guys,

we didn't have creamed spinach at Christmas last year.

Right.

Well,

yeah, we should head to the hospital.

Hospital?

Yep, I'm coming.

I'll call David out.

One thing I've learned doing this show is that there's only so many ways you can introduce the same fucking book over and over again.

So it's time for mere Christianity on this installment of God-awful books.

I thought you were going to be like, last time it wasn't, it was a stupid book.

Let me start over.

I'm going to start over.

Right.

No, that's what I should do.

Yeah, that's fair.

A quitter, no illusions.

That's what you are.

A quitter.

Now, the original plan was to have this thing done.

This was supposed to be the last segment that we did, and we'd be making way for a new book next year.

But it turns out that this will not be the first book we've actually made it through on schedule.

So we're not going to, we're going to have to let it bleed into 2025 a little bit after all.

But we are going to start the final book tonight, and that would be book four, Beyond Personality.

Wait, what the fuck does that mean?

Don't worry.

There's a post-colonic, yeah.

Okay.

Or...

First steps in the doctrine of the trinity.

Oh, okay.

Okay, I got it.

Yeah, it doesn't make more sense now.

In this one, C.S.

Lewis will finally tackle Christian theology, i.e.

the whole fucking reason we're here, and he'll start with chapter one, making and begetting.

Beyond personality or coming inside.

Now I get it.

There you go.

So his opening gambit in this whole fucking book is, oh, my friends say this part of the book is going to suck.

I believe them, man.

Yep, sure.

I believe them.

They nailed it.

Now, I will admit, his map analogy, right, where he's analogizing, where he's comparing knowing theology to a map, it's better than his usual analogies, but I love that he's used the Atlantic Ocean instead of like a map that isn't almost entirely empty space.

So maybe it's a little too good.

Yeah, also, the map he's talking about that represents Christian theology is almost certainly a Mercator projection that's...

objectively wrong and racist.

Solid analogy, but not the way you were hoping buddy.

Yep.

Yeah, exactly.

He's talking about people who don't want to do the work of theology.

And he's like, do you want bullshit hippie religions?

Because this is how you get bullshit hippie religions.

Yeah.

First of all, pin in that.

Second of all, my man, you spent a chapter defining charity as being Christian.

I don't think you're the one to complain about the dangers of vagary.

Right.

And he says, you won't get to Newfoundland by studying the map.

Apparently, Newfoundland is Christianity.

So it seems like the move is just don't go there.

Like, ask anyone in Ontario.

They have a slur for that place.

It's true.

It's true.

Now, he's like, it'll do us no good to just see Jesus as being a moral teacher because other people have moral teachers and

we won't be special enough then.

So close.

Yes.

You can do it, buddy.

You're almost there.

He's so close.

You're almost there.

So he's got some desperate hand waving about how this is like this stuff is actually too important.

And then he tackles what it means that accepting Jesus can make us sons of God, even if God is already our father.

So God is already our dad, and then we have to like stop masturbating and become a giant bigot.

And then we get to be half brothers with Jesus.

Come on, it's a terrible salesperson.

Eskimo brothers?

Yep, that's it.

Anyone who's gone to their sister's wedding and everyone's like, oh, you're the half-sister.

You know, it's not the same.

And that's obnoxious.

That sucks.

That's true.

They treat you like that.

That's true.

He tells us that Christ was begotten, not created, and that this happened before all worlds.

And then he's like,

that's fucking Argo Bargo.

Let me start again.

I'm going to try again.

Okay, wait.

Sorry, sorry.

He thinks the problem that I have with theology is the begetting.

Yes.

Because, see, yes, I know that people beget, man.

It's not even close to what my complaints are with theology.

Well, so, but he explains the difference between begetting and creating at length.

Like, like, we're going to be going, okay, all right, but what if you fuck a statue that looks like a real lady, though, a lot?

Okay, what about fuckbots shaped like a lawnmower?

Oh, you just blew his fucking mind.

What was I talking about?

But he's, he says, we are to God as statues are to us, you see.

More fuckable than their creator is willing to admit.

Not my dad, though.

Not my dad.

Honest guy, happy sculptor.

There you go.

That's true.

That's why they're so troopy.

He's like, he worked a lot of hours.

Yeah, no.

He's like, yeah, so you're like God, but don't get cocky.

Everything's like God.

And he gives us some examples.

He's like, like space.

Space is big.

God is big.

Vegetables, they're alive.

God's alive.

Bugs, always busy doing shit.

God's always busy doing shit.

Those are his actual examples.

They are.

Again, I know I've said this a lot as we've gone through this thing, but Noah is not exaggerating anything but the tone.

And even then, kind of only slightly.

Only slightly, yeah.

I'd say Noah actually toned it down for the last one about the bugs.

The C.S.

Lewis version said, the way insects frantically fuck each other,

just like the unceasing creative energy of God.

Like, that's the phrase.

It's almost exact words, what I just said.

Yep.

And he's like, okay, so here the problem is that I'm using life to mean two distinct things.

One of them is the thing that everybody understands the word life to mean.

The other.

isn't, which is probably the whole fucking problem.

So then he's like mid-thought.

He's like, so let me, I'm gonna, I'm gonna pick better words.

Let me start again.

This is also where he says that humans are the closest to God-like as beings.

But then he says, Wait, hold on.

Let's not forget about aliens that fuck like a swarm of meth locusts.

That's probably a thing.

Anyway, back to the meaning of life.

He actually

gets distracted by that idea.

Yes, he's like, there could be aliens that we don't know about.

Yeah.

So, but he picks his better words.

Now, here's the words he chooses: BIOS means life in the traditional sense and then zoe

means the spiritual nonsense life thing

bios and zoe so i feel like we were better off with the confusing homonyms i see i'm losing you listener let me call the very important meaning of life i'm describing flarbaloo

Right.

So, but the point is, we want to go from bios to Zoe, which is like going from a statue to being a dude.

Much harder to fuck.

Yes.

Well, it's all about butcher's wax.

Oh, okay.

There you go.

Last words from dad right there.

It's all about butcher's wax, son.

He goes, he's like, trust me, the imaginary thing that I can't define and can't measure and can't demonstrate to exist is the very best thing that there is.

That's the whole point of the religion.

Yeah.

And that I had to make up a word to

even define.

Right.

It's so important that we've never bothered to name it with our language.

Yeah.

So now, having established, correct me if I'm wrong, not a fucking thing.

Zero, correct.

We move on to chapter two,

the three personal God.

And this one starts with the classic C.S.

Lewis.

All right, that last chapter was shit.

I didn't establish anything.

Let me start again.

Okay, look, I know it's going to be tempting to say we didn't learn anything from mere Christianity, but I think, if anything, we've learned that chapters can call back seasons.

Yeah, there's that.

It's like playing tag with a little kid who cheats, but for reading a book about the knowledge.

I I know this was based.

So, okay, you go on timeout interference on your own book.

What does that even mean?

So, in this chapter, he's going to take on all those assholes who believe in a vague spirit behind the universe type of God.

Finally, those unserious charlatans can get taken down, a peg, by a guy who had to make up a word for the meaning of life in his last chapter.

Right, but he explains that hippie God is less than personal, Christian God is more than personal, Whatever the fuck that means.

He slips into your DMs.

Yeah, it probably doesn't sound good.

Yeah.

Like an unceasing fuck locust.

He's like, so in space, you can move three ways, left, right, up, down, forward, and backwards.

I know what he's trying to get up, but Christians have so much trouble with the number three.

He's describing the concept of dimensions like he knows that he's talking to idiots.

Okay, to be fair, for a man who got the number three wrong in the last paragraph, it may be the blind leading the blind.

Noah.

Yeah, no, that's fair.

So, but his point seems to be on earth, you might just be a square, but in heaven, you're one face of a cube.

Okay, you know how when you're talking to a square and you mention a cube and they're like, what?

God's like that.

Yes.

So then he stumps himself.

He's like, you may wonder what the point of talking about this is if I've already admitted that you can't conceive of it from your dimension.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Why did I try to draw this map of a mountain so big, even God can't move it?

That seems okay.

So just to be clear, this is a book about fucking non-Euclidean infinity gons written by a square who had trouble with cubes a few sentences ago.

Yes, that's it.

Yeah.

So now he tries to save it with his weird, when you pray, that's actually God talking to himself through himself, with himself bit.

Yeah, prayer is actually just a masturbating cube running a simulation on you.

That's good to know.

Yeah.

Worship the masturbating cube now is the message.

So here's an actual quote from him on the Trinity: quote, this definition is not something we have made up.

Theology is, in a sense, an experimental science.

It is simple religions that are the made-up ones, end quote.

Yeah, inches away from I know you are, but what am I?

Also, CS, science is something we made up.

Yep.

So it's more, I know you aren't, but I assure you I am.

Yeah, right, right.

Simple religions are cool.

Not got them.

Right.

So

it's experimental, though, in the sense that if we could sneak upon God, we could study him, but we're just not stealthy enough.

Very, very quiet.

I'm hunting religions.

Yep.

Yeah.

This book feels a lot like Elmer Fudd getting foiled over and over again in his own autobiography of Elmer Fudd.

Right, by his autobiography.

Yeah.

So, yeah, but he explains that theology is a science and the tools are your imagination.

And this is why, quote, horrible nations have horrible religions, end quote.

Hey, look at that.

We agree again.

Right, right.

Tell us

which nations you mean.

Yeah, but so, but this whole argument here boils down to you have to already believe in God to see the evidence of him.

Okay.

It's kind of like the shy peer at the urinal, but like reversed.

It's the argument from you can only pee when you're looking at me.

That I understand.

Yeah.

All right.

Fair enough.

With Sean.

But honestly, though, the best argument he's made so far is right here.

He's like, if Christianity were made up, we'd have made up something way less convoluted and stupid than this, wouldn't we?

And that honestly, like, I've seen a lot of people present that as a good argument.

So the refutation of that argument, the elaborations of a bad liar, right?

The lie is Jesus is God.

That's simple.

That's as simple as say, I was out with my poker buddies last night, but it's a lie.

It's when you try to justify that shit despite the evidence that it gets all complicated.

Right.

Me and Heath trying to set up a backdrop is what happens.

And then there's, you know, 2,000 years of councils where Santa punches someone in the face over

what Larry drew on the river.

And then you have Christianity.

Right.

So then we get chapter three.

Time and beyond time.

The opening thought on this one is, who the fuck reads every single chapter in a book?

I laughed for so long.

It's amazing.

It's the very first sentence.

Yeah, no, it's fucking hilarious.

This is the most hilarious opening.

I suck at this admission in a book full of opening.

I suck at this admissions.

He literally gives us permission to skip the chapter.

He's like, for most of you,

this chapter is going to be pointless and stupid.

And by the way, he's done this to us before.

Yeah, it's Don McClain doing a concert and refusing to play American Pie for spite because he's mad about being a one-hit wonder.

And I'm reading the concert in this case.

Also, American Pie doesn't even exist in this world.

Right.

Yeah, it's imaginary.

So this chapter is about how silly it is to think that God is listening to your bedtime prayers.

Yeah, he says, sensible people skip ahead when they come to a chapter that's useless.

And then very next thought, I want to talk about God's work-life balance.

Yes, right, yeah.

Yeah, right, right.

But he's like, he wants to deal with the problem of how could God hear so many bedtime prayers at the same time.

And he's like, yeah, no, that seems silly until you remember that God has time manipulation powers.

And then it seems less silly.

Okay.

Once again, the only thing C.S.

Lewis is worse at than his own arguments is my objections to them.

He thought the problem that I had with the concept of omniscient God was where he finds the time.

Does he know about better help?

Look, if C.S.

Lewis was familiar with the term outside of time, it would have saved us this whole fucking chapter.

Ah, that would have been great.

God can call a timeout like Zach Morris.

Right, if he was familiar with Saved by the Bell, that also would have done the trick.

He also, he deals with the problem of who the fuck were people praying to when God was a baby sucking on Mary's tit.

He's outside of time, guys.

Okay, you know, those weird Catholic philosophers from the Middle Ages who wrote shit like everyone was a flesh robot till Jesus was born and Jesus invoked souls into dead people on his death?

Okay, those philosophers would read this chapter and be like, I don't know, man.

Sounds like you're fucking full of shit today.

Are you full of shit?

Past the mud?

He also, he briefly deals with the incompatibility of omniscience and free will, right?

It turns out that God is just remembering our actions from the future, so that problem doesn't count.

Okay, you know how a cube from the future can beat the fuck out of a square from now?

Exactly.

Shut up.

Stop complaining.

No, I want to point out that doesn't materially change the argument in any fucking way.

It doesn't matter how God gets the information.

He can't know what you're going to do if you have free will to do otherwise.

So, and then he goes like, he's like, if this chapter didn't help, I did.

I told you you could fucking skip it.

Don't complain to to me.

Yeah, but Noah didn't tell us we could skip it, C.S.

Bad luck.

Sorry.

So, okay, then we go to a chapter that looks like it was titled by RFK Jr.

Chapter 4, Good Infection.

So at the beginning of this chapter, C.S.

Lewis needed an example of a food that you would eat that you would regret eating later.

And he went with...

Cucumber.

Cucumber.

Cucumber.

Because of the indigestion.

He's like, look, honestly, I feel like you could have killed this man with a jalapeno Frito.

He would have melted like the wicked witch of the West.

Well, you know what they say?

They say cucumbers are the British jalapeno.

I've seen our very own Michael Marshall order water mild.

No, that's true.

That's true.

And listen, we made some jokes at the time, but that flight of cucumbers from your favorite restaurant, it got zesty.

You loved those cucumbers.

Don't join him.

Don't join him against me.

Don't sleep on Eli's very sophisticated cucumber palate.

Don't sleep with me at all.

I'm not very good looking.

Soft.

Wait, what did you say?

He's like, memory foam.

So here he explains that God can beget Jesus even if they started existing at the same time.

Like, like books stacked on top of each other is his analogy.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Both.

I sold it.

That's it.

The chicken was fucking the egg sculpture, and it was a tie.

It was the side of the square.

Right, yeah.

No, he spends a lot of time trying to pin down the concept of simultaneously, but he eventually does.

The section is so long.

He's like, okay, was the concept of two books on a table a little thinky?

I get it.

Let me try again.

Whoever saw two books at the same time?

I'll do something new.

You know, fire.

Wait, no.

Okay, that's complicated too.

I got this.

Think of a lamp, okay?

And there's light.

It's like, it's like, now, now.

Just no, no, now, now.

Lamplight.

Lamp light.

No, not then, not now, now.

So it's that.

I checked 657 words.

It's unbearable

simultaneous.

Right.

And then he gets to the end of it and he's like, fuck, father's son was actually better this whole time.

I'm trying to fuck out.

This is stupid.

He's like, it's, he says, that's the problem.

You try to do an analogy better than the Bible, and it's the fucking Bible.

God knows better how to explain himself than I ever can.

And I'm like, wait a minute, this explains everything.

He's not allowed to exceed the Bible in terms of analogy.

Guys, in Ezekiel, God calls Jerusalem a prostitute who pays other people to have sex with them.

Jesus warns his disciples about the yeast of the Pharisees.

These are the analogies.

He's not allowed to be better than.

Yeah.

So he explains that God is love only makes sense if God is at least two people because he can't be love until he has something to love.

So before there was stuff, he couldn't be love, could he?

So stupid.

Right.

But I love that he's accidentally started the universe with two dudes that love each other very much.

Yeah.

Supernatural, Sam and Dean.

Absolutely.

And it says, the living, dynamic activity of love has been going on in God forever.

Yeah.

And that's like a minor verse.

It's going to ramp up to so much sexuality by accident on purpose.

Yeah, no.

The most important difference between Christianity and the other religions is that their God pulsates.

Quote.

Quote.

Exact words.

In Christianity, God is not a static thing and not even a person, but a dynamic, pulsating activity, a life, almost a kind of drama, almost, if you will not think me irreverent, a kind of dance.

And it's like a dance.

It's like a dance, yeah.

God is like two men who love each other doing parkour.

Yes.

Yes.

Thick, turgid, throbbing, pulsating parkour.

I'd just like to take a moment to say how grateful I am that we took those vague, hippie fuckers down a peg earlier in the book.

Am I right?

Right.

Well, if it, don't worry, Eli, if things are too vague for you now, we're now going to get to the Holy Ghost.

He's like, think of the Holy Ghost as something inside of you or behind you.

This is getting more and more gay sex the further we go, guys.

Okay, again, Noah is not exaggerating.

According to C.S., The Father is in front of you, the Son is at your side, and the Holy Ghost is behind you or inside of you.

Like he's describing the Duggar household.

It's terrifying.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

So that's a beege and a hije and you're eagerly backing into the Holy Ghost as I read at best.

And then he says that God's gifts are, I swear this is a quote, a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very center of reality.

If you are close to it, the spray will wet you.

Come on, man.

And the next thing it says is: and if you are not close to it, you will remain dry.

Yes.

Yes.

And if you remain dry, it feels a little bit wasted.

Can God just say that?

Like, you said, you said I could spray you.

It's God's birthday.

And with the Trinity thusly explained, we can close the world's most popular book of Christian apologetics that Eli was nervous about doing for fear it would be too convincing.

But there's still more to come on that.

Maybe the really convincing part is still to come on the next installment of

God-awful books.

And the spray will wet.

Before Tinkerbell disappears us with her wand of destruction, I want to warn everybody that we're going to be taking another week off for Christmas this year.

That means there will be another episode of this show next week, but not the week after.

And then we'll be back in the new year with all the horrors that 2025 has on tap for an uninterrupted like 40 some odd weeks or whatever until next Thanksgiving.

Anyway, that's all the blast movie we've got for you tonight.

We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more.

If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptic Red, debuting at 7 Eastern on Monday, and an even newer episode of our Sister Show's Hot Friend God Off of Movies, debuting at 7 Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our Half Sister Show Citation Dida debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday.

Obviously, I'd get demoted if I neglected to thank Keith Enright for being a married gentleman, Lucinda Lusions for being a Herald Angel, and Eli Bosnick for faithfully coming.

I want to also thank friend of the show and real-life superhero Jeff Blackwell for providing this week's Farnsworth quote.

You'll find a link to his podcast, The Not So Grand Jury, in the show notes.

But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most mellifluous mammals, Andrew, John, 1 million, Kennies, Leah, Tom, and Aaron.

Andrew and John, who are so hot Fahrenheit, has to borrow degrees from Celsius just to measure them.

The Kennies and Leah, who are so bright, those dangerously blinding headlights complain about them, and Tom and Aaron, whose packages are even more welcome this time of year than Amazon's.

Together these 1,005 festive free thinkers for wit forkfuls of fortune to foster our fuckery this week by giving us money.

Not everybody has the money it takes to give some to us but if you do you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash scathing atheist whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com and if you'd like to help but we're on your naughty list you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review telling a friend about the show and following us on social media and speaking to social media tim Robertson handles that for us.

And our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission.

If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the content info on the contact page at scathingatheist.com.

All right, so the bad news is that the judge rejected the onions bid and they don't get

info source.

The good news is, I mean, well, the good news for the onion is they got the best of both worlds, right?

They got all the great press that they wanted, and they don't have to spend the fucking money.

Yeah, that's true.

So great for them, but they're not at the desk, though.

Well, that's the thing is that, like, it's still for sale, guys.

It's still for sale.

If I don't get the arc, we're going to have some money to throw around.

The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC, Copyright 2024.

All rights reserved.

So, what do this animal

and this animal

and this animal

have in common?

They all live on an Organic Valley farm.

Organic Valley dairy comes from small organic family farms that protect the land and the plants and animals that live on it from toxic pesticides, which leads to a thriving ecosystem and delicious, nutritious milk and cheese.

Learn more at ov.co-op and taste the difference.

This episode is supported by Brex.

Brex helps finance teams unlock their peak performance with the world's smartest corporate card, banking, expense management, and travel, all on one AI-powered platform.

See why 30,000 companies across every stage of growth use Brex at brex.com slash grow.

As a mom, you know your home is where your family learns to love, where your little kids learn who they are, and where your bigger kids remember who they were.

It's where dreams are born and come to life.

Your home deserves spotlight, and Everlights makes that happen.

Everlights is your permanent external lighting expert.

With Everlights, your home can become a princess castle, a summer oasis, or celebration of even the littlest wins.

And with Everlights' limited time 20% off deal, you'll be the hero of your home and your checkbook.

Let's give your home some color with Everlights.

Go to myEverlights.com to get a free quote today.