464 - They Got Greta, A.I. Hollywood, & The Battle For Tik Tok

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan Show.

We have the unique privilege this week of hosting a contest to determine who is going to lead the next chapter of Turning Point USA.

The two finalists have made it through all the preliminary rounds, and now you, the audience, are going to vote by phone to see which finalist you think is best suited to take Turning Point USA into the next chapter.

please welcome our first contestant, Erica Kirk.

There were nights when the wind was so cold

that my body froze in bed.

bed If I just listened to it right outside the window,

there were days when the sun was so cruel

that my tears turned to dust, and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever.

I finished crying in the instant that you left.

And I can't remember when or where.

And I banish every memory you and I have ever met.

All right, thank you.

Erica Kirk, everyone.

Erica,

clearly going through something.

Well, it's an honor to have you here.

Thank you.

You have so much energy.

How are you holding up?

Tim, it has been a whirlwind.

It has been

just such a crazy, chaotic time.

I'm going on tour.

I have a Christmas album coming out.

And

I mean, I just signed with WME.

I'm...

I'm going on SNL and I'm going on Rogan.

And I have a Skims collab coming out next month.

So it's just a very exciting time.

It's actually amazing that that's how this is all happening.

I did try your Smoothie Dairy one and it was excellent.

Thank you so much.

Do you have anything you want to leave the turning point fans with?

If Israel did it, I forgive them.

Erica Kirk, everyone.

Our next contestant is Brylan Hollyhand.

Hey, y'all.

Hello, Brylan.

Brylan, let me ask you a question.

What makes you suited to lead Turning Point USA, this Christian Republican organization?

Well, I have an extensive resume as an 18-year-old.

I go to Auburn University, Roll Todd, and I am the biggest Democrat hater in all the land.

Okay, settle down, Brylan.

Settle down.

A lot of people have criticized you because you've been seen on a private chat or, you know, you have a Rolex on.

They say your dad's rich.

What's your response to them?

Well, I would just say, my daddy got guns.

All right.

Well,

Brylin, and do you have a girlfriend, a lovely lady in your life?

I have girlfriends that I love to go out with.

Right.

But nobody, no, not some special somebody, if that's what you're asking.

Not yet, I'm sure.

Okay, and I'm sure you are

very very excited to bring Turning Point into the next era.

I'm going to make my Turing Point jet kiss my daddy's jet.

All right.

Well, thank you so much.

Brylon Hollyhand, everyone.

We'll let you know how the audience votes.

And now weighing in from prison in his first interview is Tyler Robinson.

People showed up in escalades and tiny hats, and they threatened my family.

It wasn't me.

Thank you, Tyler.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, your votes have been pouring in as our two contestants have made their case as to why they should lead turning point.

But a very powerful write-in campaign has taken root and a new name has been introduced.

Please welcome Candace.

The Fibonacci sequence will lead you to where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, and that is the Holy Grail.

Thank you, Candace.

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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dylan show.

Tilly Norwood, AI actress,

hasn't even been in anything and is getting shit

from these desperate loser bums

who are attacking her

because supposedly she's taking their jobs.

I'm going to come out right now and say that Tilly Norwood has more character than the pieces of shit on Twitter and on threads ripping her up.

Everybody's shitting on her

for nothing.

This woman did nothing wrong other than be AI and be an actress.

That's all she did.

She's in artificial intelligence who's trying to be an actress like a lot of people.

That's all she did.

And then these losers who live on their floor in Los Angeles and can't afford medicine are mad at Tilly Norwood just because they don't have insulin for their sweet, sweet blood.

That's a diabetic thing.

I'm a little sick of people

diminishing

the hopes and dreams of someone just because they happen to not be real in the way that they understand it.

Let's read this.

It takes a lot to be the most controversial figure in Hollywood, especially when Mel Gibson still exists.

Ha ha ha, funny, funny.

And yet somehow, in a career yet even to begin, Tilly Norwood has been inundated with scorn.

This is for the simple fact that Tilly Norwood does not exist.

Despite looking like an uncanny fusion of Gal Gado, Anna de Armas, and high school musical era Vanessa Hudgens, Norwood is the creation of an artificial intelligence talent studio called, I want to say, Sequoia.

Zekoya.

And if it's to be believed, then Norwood represents the dazzling future of the film industry.

She does.

She does.

Norwood has been touted as the next Scarlett Johansson with studios apparently clamoring to work with her and a talent agency lined up to represent her.

Here's the deal.

Tilly Norwood is not going to be a racist.

She's not going to say anything about Gaza.

She's not going to be a drug addict.

She's not going to be a liability on set.

She's not going to

get involved in some type of

really,

you know, controversial political cause.

I'm telling you, she's not going to, this is the future.

She's not going to have three trans kids like every other actress now, for whatever reason, named like Beckett and Willow and whatever.

But

she's going to be an AI actress and she's going to do the damn job.

Tilly Norwood's going to show up and going to do the job.

And I bet when you act with Tilly, you're going to go, God damn it, she's good.

Actors are people.

People are out.

They're gone.

The raping, the drugs, the racism, they got really annoying.

Adam Conover stomped his feet and got all these fucking loser writers to say, we don't want to write anymore because we don't make enough money.

And now they're all living in tents.

And I'm for Tilly.

I'm for Tilly.

And that's who I'm for.

I'm for Tilly.

So I don't know what you people want.

You want me to defend you scumbags that are constantly running your mouths about you hate everybody and everything.

You're attacking this woman who's not even real.

She doesn't even exist.

You suck and you're going to die.

How about that?

You don't get to be an actress or an actor.

Dilly does.

The show's over.

The curtains closed.

Quiet on set.

You're out.

Okay?

You're wasting your time.

I'm not dealing with you anymore like adults.

I'm talking to you like the fucking children you are.

Cut the shit and go home.

Tilly's here and she'll handle it.

Okay?

You're not going to be the thing you thought you were going to be.

Get in your car if you still own one and drive home now.

that's what it is I'm sick of doing the dance with these fucking people it's gonna be all AI

sorry

it is what it is you shouldn't have been like the most annoying cunts on earth you became the most annoying cunts on earth

America was like be hot be interesting

as as an actor like be like you know weirdly mysterious and you couldn't do it.

You opened your fucking mouth.

You told everyone how to live.

You annoyed everybody.

And now we all want AI.

We all want it.

We all want it now.

We're sick of you.

We're sick of your award shows.

We're sick of your garbage.

We want the robots now.

And you did it to yourselves.

You did it to yourselves by being fucking annoying.

You should have stopped being annoying.

And everyone hates you.

And no one cares that you have no money and you have nothing.

And you will have less.

You will have less than you do now.

I know that's unimaginable.

You will have less than you do now.

And stop posting GoFundMe's about your cat

because Tilly's here.

And Tilly's the queen.

And Tilly's going to win.

Sorry.

Did Israel kill Greta Thunberg?

Did they kill her or not, this flotilla?

This Greta Thunberg keeps getting on this boat.

I don't know what's going on with the news, but this is my understanding of the news.

Israel keeps telling this bitch, don't get on this boat.

And she keeps getting on this boat,

and she's got

food for the people in Gaza.

And she's and Israel keeps going, don't get on this boat.

And she keeps getting on the boat.

And then they keep boarding the boat and don't they keep kicking her off?

And she keeps getting back on this boat.

They're going to have to kill her.

I'm for them killing her.

I'm for Israel killing her.

I'm not for a lot of what they're doing in Gaza, but I'm for them killing Greta Thunberg and I will defend it.

If Netanyahu and Israel kill Greta Thunberg, I will defend it on this show

for free.

I know they're spread money around 7,000 a post, so I hear.

I'll do it for free if you kill Greta Thunberg.

Kill her, though.

Burn her alive.

I don't want any half measures.

I don't want her to have a broken leg or she's temporarily uncomfortable.

If Israel kills her, like

full-on firebombs that flotilla, I will defend it

because she's starting to annoy me now with this boat.

It's not going to, I mean, yes, it helps a little bit, but there's more going on here than just you and this boat.

The people in Gaza need more than whatever this bitch has on a boat.

Stop getting on this boat.

People don't want you on this boat.

It's not all about you.

And the climate is fine.

I don't like how annoying she is.

Israeli occupation forces have detained Greta Thunberg and dozens of participants aboard the global Samud flotilla, including journalists, while illegal interception attempts of the remaining boats are still ongoing.

When was this?

This was six hours ago.

Just bomb this boat.

I'm bored of this boat.

I've been hearing about this boat for months.

They keep getting close.

Who does this help?

They know they're going to get boarded.

They know they're going to get redirected.

It's an exercise in vanity for this dumb fucking

whatever she is.

Where does she even come from, Greta Thunberg?

Where is it?

Norway?

Denmark?

Whatever.

She keeps doing this and she knows what's going to happen.

Sweden.

Swedish, yeah.

Whatever.

She keeps doing this on this boat and everyone knows what's going to happen.

You're going to get close to Israel and then they're going to, they're going to board you and they're going to turn it around and then they probably take the food and eat it themselves.

They're not going to give that food out now that they got it on your boat.

They're going to take it and eat it themselves.

Light that boat up.

Light it up.

Oh, let's hear from her.

I don't like that she's she's in a life jacket.

Nothing is less metal than this.

This is not cool.

Let's hear from her.

My name is Keita Timbe, and I'm currently on board the boat ALMA as part of the Global Smut Zillah, a peaceful humanitarian mission to deliver aid to the civilian population of Gaza and to break Israel's illegal and inhumane siege.

It is likely to believe that we will be intercepted tonight by Israel, which would be a blatant violation of humanitarian and maritime law.

Israel is not immune to international law.

They are, though.

I mean, you listen.

Yeah, listen.

We got to start dealing with the world as it is here.

And this is like, there's no,

this woman's not doing it.

Kill her.

Kill her.

Kill her.

I'm sorry.

I'm trying to be good here now.

I want to heal the divides.

Kill her.

BB, kill her.

And you know why?

I'm bored of this

crap.

We need to move on.

I'm sick of the Middle East.

It bores me.

And I'm bored of this Swedish woman.

Israel and the Gimmers.

They blow everyone up.

They don't care.

They're not immune to internet.

They're doing whatever they want to do.

They're doing whatever they want to do.

They're not immune to international law.

Yes, they are.

They're doing what international law is fake.

Well, it shouldn't be, but it is.

Shut up.

I'm in the flotilla.

I'm just, I'm not,

I'm not participating anymore.

I'm not participating anymore in people that don't.

We're doing only real politic now of like what really is happening.

And

nothing interests me less than this

flotilla of boats going over there.

Like, get a peace process, whatever you're going to do, release the hostages, build the sphere, whatever

the trade-off is over there in the peace thing.

I think that's a trade-off.

They released the hostages and Netanyahu builds the sphere.

That seems to be what they want to do.

They want to build the Vegas sphere in Gaza, and then they get a couple of hostages.

They're going to start releasing people, by the way, that aren't the hostages.

Because I think the hostages are dead.

So Israel's just going to have to say, look, here's, we got hostages back.

They're just going to be, they're going to be actors.

They'll be AI.

You'll just see a bunch of guys walking out of a tunnel.

You go, who the hell are they?

Shut up.

It's the hostages.

We're building this fear now.

I mean, whatever at this point.

I mean, what are we doing?

Just

bring this to an end.

Enough of this.

Talking about this forever.

Just accept.

Supposedly Trump said to BB, you got to take it or

we're not going to back you anymore.

Trump said it to BB.

He's like, we're walking away from you.

You better take it.

And apparently BB is going to take it.

I don't know, man.

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Nenyahu says TikTok is crucial weapon in winning support of young American voters for Israel's cause.

Well,

well,

it's a little on the nose.

Here it is.

Here he is, Benjamin Netanyahu talking about TikTok.

Christian influencers, okay.

You said

you talked about the woke right.

And he said, I call it the woke Reich.

That's opinion.

Is it brilliant?

The woke Reich, because these people, you know, they're not any different from the woke left.

I mean, they're insane.

They're no reason.

But they're actually meeting on some of the things.

And what we have to do is we have to secure that part of the base of our support in the United States that is being challenged systematically.

A lot of this is done with money.

Money of NGOs, fast.

Money of governments, faster.

Okay?

We have to fight back.

How do we fight back?

Our influencers.

I think you should also talk to them if you have a chance.

Think about this for a minute.

Just pause this for a minute.

Remember when influencer was like the most annoying word?

And it just meant like somebody who would ritually

debase themselves for money on the internet.

That's what the word influencer used to mean.

Somebody who would shamelessly plug anything.

Don't put an ad here.

A great place to put an ad.

But that's what influencers were.

It was like when I grew up, an influencer, you know, would be somebody who's like, you know, we put marbles in a swimming pool.

Like they would fill a

kiddie pool with M ⁇ Ms and jump in it.

Or,

you know, they would do crazy stunts and injure themselves or they would pull pranks at the mall.

Now.

The president of Israel is saying we are going to counter attempts to limit our support in the United States by unveiling an army of influencers

where they will fight the information war on TikTok.

Kind of an amazing

turn of events that

all of the major decisions in our society are going to be heavily influenced by the most shameless

group of people to have ever lived.

People that are hawking

like,

you know,

energy drinks are now going to be the first line of defense for Israel.

This is the new modern warfare.

It's influencers.

Modern warfare is the influencer war.

The battle of TikTok,

where

people are going to be paid to come on TikTok

and

make you think that it's a good idea

to keep giving money to this man and his government to do whatever they want.

Because they're fighting the influencers on the other side that are telling you that's not a good idea.

That's the war.

The news is fake.

It's right now, it's the battle of the influencers.

People that are in your face all the time

that you

love or hate or

either trust them and they have a high trust score with their audience and they have a lot of credibility or

whatever or maybe you hate them and you hate watch them

But they're the ones that the Israel is going to be giving money to

They're the ones that are going to be pushing and it's all in front of you.

You know, you say what you want about how the Edward Bernays propaganda style of like the news media

and

print media, print journalism, corporate advertising, product placement, and TV and movies.

Say what you want about all of that.

This is the most out-in-the-open thing I've ever seen.

The guy's saying,

he's saying,

we're going to pay people

to tell you

that we're doing good shit.

We're paying people to come out.

We have our influence.

He says, he goes, we've got our influencers.

Why aren't we giving them a little bit of money?

And this is probably because I said, start paying people, and they listened.

I said, start paying people, and they listened.

I was the one early on that's going, like, wait,

no one's just going to go out and watch a family burning alive

and defend it for free.

You're going to have to give them a couple of bucks to get people to see that, the other side of that.

So that's what he's doing.

He's going, yo, we got money.

He goes, why aren't we giving people money?

That's all.

It's pretty simple.

You don't know what you're looking at.

That's the whole premise of this.

You can't, raw images and your own innate sense of right and wrong aren't activated by like seeing a little two-year-old run around on fire.

So you have to have influencers kind of decipher that

and then

slant it and tell you exactly why that's good or bad.

Why is that maybe good?

Why is that good?

Well, it's always sad when people die, but cha-ching.

But I,

you know,

you know,

you know, it's like

it's a very sad thing,

but this is ultimately being done for the future generations of Palestinians.

That's what it's being being done for because they're going to be able to go to the sphere when we build it.

Let's watch the rest of

what he's saying here about paying influencers on social media to in-between

hawking skin cream explain to you

why Greater Israel makes sense for you.

That community, they're very important.

And secondly, we're going to have to use the tools of battle.

You know, the weapons change over time.

You can't fight today with swords, that doesn't work very well, okay?

And you can't

fight with cavalry, that doesn't work very well.

And you have these new things, you know, like drones, things like that.

I won't get into that.

But we have to fight with the weapons that

apply to the battlefields in which we're engaged.

And the most important ones are the social media.

And the most important purchase that is going on right now is

class

followers.

TikTok.

TikTok.

Number one.

Number one.

And I hope it goes through because

it can be consequential.

You'd think they wouldn't film that.

You'd think someone would just not film this.

You know what I mean?

You'd think there'd be someone that goes, why don't we, hey, hey, hey.

Why don't we have to film this one?

We don't have to film this one.

You think somebody watched this back and went, yeah, maybe let's not.

We don't need to put this out.

You know, Larry Ellison, who owns now, I believe, the country.

I believe Larry Ellison recently, last night, I believe Larry Ellison, and it's not David Ellison, purchased the country.

And

they gave CBS to Barry Weiss.

And then TikTok will be the Ellisons.

And then, you know, what he's talking about is

true.

It's just amazing how

explicit it is and

that nobody's

going,

and by the way, it's not even like, I don't give a shit about Hama.

I'm like, guys, I'm like, I care about the United States.

This is not like,

you know, I don't throw my hat in the ring with any of these people that are like,

the people that

hate Israel also hate America.

and capitalism and white people and all of that.

So throwing your hat in the ring there has never made any sense sense to me, and I never will.

These kids on Columbia campus make me feel sick.

I don't think you should deport them.

I don't think that, you know, they should be, their visas should be revoked, but I have no love laws for them.

I don't, you know, it's like,

I'm worried about the United States of America.

This is not like,

I don't care.

My goal here is not, you know, to make Gaza a lovely place for anyone,

Muslim, Jew, Christian, or other.

It's not what I want.

That's not what anyone I know wants, by the way.

It has nothing to do with us.

So when you talk about TikTok and you say it's a very big, important purchase, and we've got to fight the war with the weapons we have, and the weapons evolve over time.

And the weapons now are influencers.

And we got to get on that game because we're losing ground to people that are rightly pointing out that we've got absolutely

no

we're getting nothing out of this we're getting nothing out of this we're only

diverting resources away from this country at a time when AI is around the corner, a massive transformation of our economy is around the corner.

Huge amounts of people are going to have to be re-educated, not in the re-education camp sense, but like in the sense that maybe the jobs are in biotech or healthcare.

All the boomers are going to retire.

People need to go back to school.

They need to get skills they don't have.

Where's the money for this?

The infrastructure is crumbling.

We don't have the money for this.

And we're in 30.

something trillion dollars worth of debt.

So why we're continuing to throw money at this has to be explained to you by an influencer, an army of influencers.

Because anyone would just make the argument that this is insane.

Like a nine-year-old would be able to forget Jews, Muslims, the Middle East, Christian.

Who cares?

Just the facts on the ground of this country.

And what the hell is going on in this country?

Is that money better off

in

the Middle East than it is in this country?

And

that's my whole thing here.

And they're telling you we need to hire an army of influencers to convince you that any of this is a good idea.

We know it, you know, and then our

military general, Pete Hegseth, the tough guy from Fox News, is going, we want our generals to be thin and not have beards.

How about we run our own country, Pete?

Wouldn't that, that might be good too.

We're worried about fat generals and beards.

And then the president of the United States goes, we're going to be using American cities to train

our troops.

Because we're going into Portland and we're going into Chicago.

This is a bit psychotic.

Let's listen to this.

Very important mission.

And I told Pete we should use some of these dangerous cities as training grounds for our military, National Guard, but military.

Because we're going into Chicago very soon.

That's a big city with an incompetent governor.

Stupid governor.

Stupid.

They threw him out of his family business.

He was so stupid.

I know the family.

He becomes governor.

He's got money.

Not money that he made, but he ran for governor.

He won, and now he criticizes us all the time.

Last week, they had 11 people murdered, 44 people shot.

The week before that, they'd had five people murdered, 28 people shot.

Every weekend, they lose five, six.

If they lose five, they're considering it a great week.

They shouldn't lose any.

Well, yes, but we don't need the Marines in Chicago.

I agree.

The Democratic Party's done a terrible job with public safety.

But the idea that we're going to have the Marines in Chicago

and we're going to be

so we're so let me get this straight.

I'm just trying to understand this.

Again, I'm a college dropout.

The money to build the educational

institutions and the infrastructure in America.

Things like hospitals,

things we need, that gets shipped to Israel.

The Marines and the National Guard get sent into the cities

where that money could have been used to better the lives of the people.

That seems to make no sense.

We tell the Ukraine to keep fighting Putin.

And we keep selling them weapons and then giving them weapons and then giving them loans and then giving them money

and the money that could have been used in an American city for, and then we kick a bunch of people off Medicaid.

We kick a bunch of people off Medicaid in America and close a bunch of rural hospitals because there's like a trillion dollars in Medicare cuts.

But the money goes to the Ukraine and Israel.

And then we put

the National Guard in Portland

and then Pete Hegseff calls a meeting of 800 generals and go

I don't want fatties and I don't want anyone with a beard because we're a tough country we're the Department of War

and you go yeah but you you people are getting cocked

and you're giving money to places

that have there's zero national security interest in the United States of America.

We shouldn't be in these wars.

And you're either unable or unwilling to pull out of them.

And then you think that the American people are going to be so stupid, they go, oh, this guy's a badass because no one has a beard.

What a tough guy.

You told people to do some sit-ups.

And then more billions, more billions.

Out the door.

More billions to Israel.

Netanyahu visits the White House again, again, again, again.

That guy's there every other day.

He might be there more than Trump.

So again,

it doesn't seem to make any sense to everyone.

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And this mysterious comet that's approaching that they're going to say is an alien thing

because

they're trying to gin up

that.

They're trying to get that going.

I'm proud of America at how little they care about this alien crap and these drones.

I'm proud of you.

I'm proud how

usually people are pretty manipul, you know, easy, easily manipulated.

They're flying drones all over the place.

They're trying to get people excited.

And you know what?

People don't give a shit.

They will do anything.

Once you've started to realize how inverted our system is and nothing makes any sense, They are doing everything they can now.

It's hilarious.

They're like, I don't know, this comet

could be a spaceship.

You go, why did we just give $6 billion to Israel?

They go, we've heard on this spaceship, they got lasers.

They could shoot lasers at us.

You go, I just don't understand why the military's in Portland.

The other thing the spaceship can do, it can come into our atmosphere.

Like, people,

to their credit,

seemingly know what...

what this is.

All of this interest in

UAPs and and all of this stuff seems to be very closely related to people on Earth waking up to how fucked up things here are on Earth.

Once everyone started to realize how bad things were on Earth, they started going, well, what about aliens?

It was really interesting.

Like, what about aliens?

What if we're not alone?

You're like, hey, hey.

Hey, wait, hold on a minute.

Wait a minute.

The whole thing down here is rotten.

And it's people doing it.

People.

You.

But there could be alias.

That comet might be a spaceship.

What do you think they don't know?

What are they hiding from?

I don't care.

I could not care less.

I'm worried about this planet,

which everyone wants to get off of, by the way.

U.S.

job market weakening.

32,000 private sector jobs lost in September and downward.

These jobs are out,

especially in cities like LA and Vegas.

L.A.

follows Las Vegas' footsteps as visitors to city plummet 50%.

No one's going.

What is there to do?

There's nothing to do.

You're not going to meet Tilly Norwood.

If you go,

I see these people in LA all the time, these these little star maps, these little, you know, these buses, these tours, people see the stars.

No more stars.

There are no more stars.

I'm a star.

You're a star.

We're all stars.

Everyone's a star.

We're all a star.

Everyone's a star now.

There's no such thing as a star.

Why would you go to L.A.?

What would you see?

Urban decay,

couple of palm trees,

maybe ice, come in and throw throw a bus boy in a trunk.

That's not a nice trip, is it?

Mommy, why did they throw the bus boy in the trunk?

Shut up.

Eat your quesadilla.

Mommy, they just threw that man in a van.

He's illegal.

What does that mean?

Shut up.

We're on a vacation.

We're on a vacation.

There's men in masks with guns in the lobby of the hotel.

They're doing their job.

They're doing their job.

It's our family trip.

The LA Times attributed a variety of problems to this downturn.

Wildfire swept many areas in LA in January.

And while Hollywood went unscathed, the city as a whole has struggled in the aftermath.

There's nothing to do.

Here's the other thing with Vegas.

It's way too much money to go to Vegas.

And Vegas relies on other things happening.

If you want to go to a bachelor party, someone's got to get married.

A bachelorette party, somebody's got to get married.

Somebody wants to go have a big retirement party, they got to have a job to retire from.

Vegas relies on people living lives to go celebrate them in Vegas.

You have to have something to celebrate in Vegas.

You know, yes, you can go to Vegas for a weekend or whatever, but like we're talking about people taking trips.

They tend to do that when they think their lives are good.

When their lives are good, they take a trip.

Nobody goes, hey, I'm unemployed.

I just got thrown off Medicaid.

Do you want to go to Vegas?

That's not the calculation.

And people say, hey, my mother was just kidnapped by ice.

Let's go to Vegas.

A masked agent showed up and grabbed my mother outside of a laundromat.

You want to go to Vegas?

I could really use something to take my mind off it.

Let's go to Vegas.

What's that hotel that looks like a pyramid?

Let's go to Vegas.

Yeah, My sister died of a fentanyl overdose.

Her boyfriend

was arrested.

Apparently, she stole his fentanyl.

That's what he's saying.

Anyway, it's all fucking weird.

I need a weekend in Vegas.

I need it.

I need it.

Anyway, my husband's a pedophile, and he just got caught looking at pictures of child porn.

Girls trip.

Girls trip in Vegas.

Let's go.

I mean, people need to feel good about their lives to go to Vegas.

With the state of the country now, my house just burned down.

Let's go to Vegas and rock out.

Let's party.

Doesn't make any sense.

I hear there's a comet coming.

It could be a spaceship.

Let's get fucked up in Vegas.

Let's go to Vegas.

I'm homeless.

I mean,

you got to feel a little bit positive about something

to go to Vegas.

I mean, you can't just show up.

You can't show up and just go.

Like the other thing that's funny about Vegas is like, and I like Vegas.

I love Vegas, right?

I think it's great.

It's it used to be cheap.

So you could go if things weren't great.

Like, it was a place where you could go, hey, let's have a lot of fun for not a lot of money.

That's all over.

Nothing is cheap anymore.

There's nothing inexpensive in this country, by the way.

And the quality of everything is shit.

Everything you get now is shit.

It's absolutely shit.

Vegas, you spend money, you get in a bed with the bloodstains.

There's blood on your bed.

brown

rust colored blood on your bed now

nothing's good anymore there's a few things that are good the wind steve wins property is nice a few things that are nice

but mostly everything is shit

and it costs so much goddamn money a bottle of water is nine dollars

do you know how much money

That it it's almost $10

to get a bottle of water when your friend who's on Molly collapses and you just have to revive them.

You hold the water to their mouth and they're choking and they're laying on the hot cement in Vegas and they're choking on the water because you're just pouring it on their face, pouring it down their throat to try to save their life.

And they're just trying to die.

And they even start screaming, Let me die, let me die.

And you still are just splashing the water on their face.

That's $10.

That's $10

to wait for the ambulance.

You don't even want to know how much the ambulance costs.

Let me die.

I'm not taking an ambulance.

Let me die.

Water on the face.

You are getting in that ambulance.

I love you.

We're having fun.

It's Vegas.

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We're having a good time.

I hope Tilly Norwood takes everyone's job.

I hope the president is Tilly Norwood.

By the way, that's all coming too.

No one's safe.

They'll throw some other idiot in this chair.

AI.

I don't care.

I don't care.

How about that?

Tilly Norwood is the actress.

That's coming first.

Pretty soon it's going to be the government, the Congress, the Senate.

All they have to do in this country is figure out how to kill a large number of people, and pretty quickly.

That's all they have to do.

They got to figure out a way how to eliminate about a third of this population pretty quickly.

Maybe half.

And then things ain't so bad.

You get an AI governor, a couple of AI movies.

You know?

You just got to figure out how to eliminate half the population because the jobs aren't going to be there.

So you just got to kill all those people, which is going to require a period of not nice things.

And then once that's done, then you go, all right,

let's build back better.

As Joey B would say, Joe Biden.

But you just got to get rid of a bunch of, that's all.

It's not that big of a deal once you've eliminated half the population.

Once you've eliminated half to three quarters of the population on planet Earth, all of this gets a lot more fun.

You can have AI Congress and AI Senate.

It's fake.

And at that point, it'd be fake.

It'd be fun.

The AI Senate to be.

You'll sit in your pod and you watch two AI people debate and you go, this is fun.

This is fun because everyone's dead.

You go, this is kind of cool because you've made it to the other end.

Whatever the other end is going to be, it's going to be fun.

And you'll tell your kids, you'll go, this is kind of cool.

People used to do this.

And your kids will go, what?

Go, yeah, people used, they used to cheat on each other.

And they would have sex with children and people would film them doing it.

And then when they disagreed with them, they'd show the film and go look at this and their your kids would go what the fuck was that and go yeah that's how we did it for hundreds of years you go that seems insane yeah some guy would like like sucking cock but he couldn't tell his wife and he would go to this motel and suck some guy off and somebody would film it and then we'd use it against him so he'd vote this certain way and then he would vote this way and it was be usually to like decimate his town like it would just be to just totally destroy his town like they'd be like uh would anyone like to say would anyone like to uh say anything we're we're planning to destroy this town would anyone like to speak and then like the guy whose town it was like the scene of house of cards like no i'm good i uh i've said everything i need to say on the matter uh proceed with the wrecking ball and uh kill everyone i know and destroy the town it's for the greater good It's for the greater good.

And your kids will be like, wow, that was crazy.

That's literally the way the world ran.

You go, yeah, now we have these algorithms and we have AI and AI gives us different options about like how society can go.

And then we watch the AI's debate

and we just steer society little by little, but we have these chips in us now.

And there was a whole big fight about the chips.

I'll be dead.

We'll all probably be dead by this.

It was a whole big fight about the chips.

Like people didn't like the chips.

And then we all decided, fuck it.

We're just going to get the chips because it is what it is because you know what what else are you gonna do and there's some renegade people that don't have the chips and they live on the margins of society and they remember the old ways but we all just got the chips and the chip tells you um when you're gonna die i know exactly when i'm gonna die and i i know that so i can actually plan my funeral i can plan everything everything's fine I know with this chip, I'll make it till about 116 years old with my, unless I re-chip and do it.

But we don't have the money to do that.

Your old man doesn't have the money.

117 is enough for me.

You know, people used to die a lot younger than that.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Well, there were so many of us.

People had to die.

Interesting.

Yeah, your man's making it, old man's making it to about 117.

You know, my last year at 116, they moved me into a thing.

It's kind of nice because, well, the technology in my body starts to fail.

And again, if I don't have the money to re-up it, then I just, you know, and it's kind of nice.

And, you know, you go in there and you watch, you watch some thing and they simulate a whole thing for you.

And they go, interesting.

Yeah.

And they go, it's all simulated.

They go, it's all really simulated, you know, and it's all for you.

And they go, we used to fight about all this stuff.

We used to hate it.

It used to not be fun.

And

we would get angry at each other and we'd fight about like different countries and different wars.

But now the world is run by some governing council that has basically decided after the Great War, the war that started with Russia, the Ukraine, Israel, Iran, and America, and then China and Taiwan.

taiwan after the great war we all decided that the idea of nation states was actually too

uh crazy to have like these things that could just start fighting each other everyone had different languages or whatever so what we basically decided to do is just have this governing council largely of of of of ai

people and also some humans with the AI people.

And they basically decide how things work.

And that's why me and your mother and you guys were able to live here in this little smart city and do everything we need to do.

And

everything works now.

And then the people are going to go, that's pretty cool.

That's pretty cool.

And it'll be boring and it'll be sterile and it'll be corporate.

And it'll be nothing.

And there won't be as much danger.

And there won't be as much fighting.

And there won't be a guy with wacky sunglasses on the internet screaming about the people that are doing the bad things because everyone will kind of be cool with everything and it'll be fine and then that'll go away and how that goes away I don't even know but eventually that'll go away something will happen someone will hijack the system

someone some fucking major hacking thing will just shut all the technology and people's bodies down and then it'll they'll all just

who knows

It is what it is.

You got to enjoy yourself.

Go to Vegas.

Go to Vegas

and play Baccarat, but only at a table with Asians.

No whites.

You have to be the only white at a table with Asians for Baccarat, and you might win.

Always bet Banker.

I don't know what Baccarat is, and it doesn't matter.

Always bet Banker, and you sit at a table with all Asians.

And kill Greta Thunberg.

Blow her up, light her up.

Israel should say, We're killing one more person, and it's her.

Israel goes, We're done killing.

We have one more person to kill.

It's this bitch.

We're killing one final person, it's her.

And we're lighting her up.

I'm Greta Thundberg.

I'm Greta Thundberg.

Her nest smooth flutiller.

I'd start to like Bibi if he did that.

He goes, Yeah, we killed her.

We burned her alive.

I like Burger king we burn her alive

well timdilloncomedy.com folks where am i gonna be where am i gonna be where can you see me live where can you see me live

columbus if uh is all sold out oklahoma city phoenix fort lauderdale schaumburg illinois san jose california salt lake city brea

Denver, Houston.

Fun run of clubs.

We're also doing a lot of other dates next year in theaters and things like that, but this is a fun,

fun run of clubs.

These are some of my favorite clubs actually in the country.

I love all of these clubs.

And I'll see you there.

I'd be happy to see you there.

And thank you again to the people that came in earlier today.

Erica Kirk, Brylon Hollyhand, and

the great Candace Owens.

Thank you, everyone, and good night.

Go to Vegas.

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