BEST OF: This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von 2024

Speaker 3 Don't miss Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, premiering on Hulu, November 21st.

Speaker 8 Filmed live at the sold-out United Center Arena in Chicago.

Speaker 11 Sebastian goes all in on family chaos, aging, non-existent manners, and life's most relatable and frustratingly funny moments as only he can.

Speaker 6 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, on November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 16 Terms apply.

Speaker 6 Oh, do you see that thing with the mayor? Do you see that thing with mayor, with the mayor of New York?

Speaker 17 No.

Speaker 19 It's a, oh yeah, this is it right here.

Speaker 20 Do you see this?

Speaker 2 So Eric Adams, he teaches, what was he saying?

Speaker 1 They're teaching kids how to.

Speaker 21 They're teaching parents how to search your kids' room to find drugs and gun stuff.

Speaker 22 Good, did you see this?

Speaker 23 You can look at the jewelry box. A jewelry box of this nature, maybe a simple jury box, but if you look through it closely, you don't know what your child may be hiding.

Speaker 26 for instance a gun that's from the state of the jury frames

Speaker 18 government like make it scary as hold on hold on

Speaker 18 start it

Speaker 32 yeah this music is crazy it's like scared the out of these people it's like it almost seems like a um like the story before castlevania starts it like on a video game jury box a jury box yeah this is an opening menu

Speaker 24 yeah box but if you look through it closely you don't know what your child may be hiding for instance a gun look at picture picture frames behind them.

Speaker 23 Cameras. Try to determine what's taking place.

Speaker 23 Behind a picture frame, you can find bullets. You should always, when your child is a human being,

Speaker 35 look through it. This is a good idea.

Speaker 36 Look through his knapsack.

Speaker 3 You might find a grenade.

Speaker 23 In addition to a book. Something simple as a crackpipe.

Speaker 18 Something simple as a baby doll. What great is a kid?

Speaker 29 Bro, this is the mayor.

Speaker 24 That's unusual.

Speaker 23 Like a pillow like this with a button is a perfect invitation to hide something.

Speaker 38 And I felt something bumpy.

Speaker 23 I would reach in, see what it is.

Speaker 25 Just look at all these real cases.

Speaker 38 God only knows.

Speaker 39 I'll tell you this, man.

Speaker 40 Those DoorDash people see some shit.

Speaker 38 You know, in India, they have a cast of people called the Untouchables.

Speaker 8 Do they really? Yes.

Speaker 41 You just can't fuck with them.

Speaker 40 Wow.

Speaker 17 You can't go near them.

Speaker 38 You see them and you look away uh-uh that is kind of and this to know no don't take offense to this but it is when i encounter a food delivery person in the wild

Speaker 17 i i don't i look away no i will look away tim

Speaker 43 you don't feel like you're one of them a food delivery person

Speaker 38 no yeah i just there's so many other jobs

Speaker 38 I just feel like if you're delivering DoorDash, I just inherently, here's the thing.

Speaker 38 I love them as a person. They're a child of God.

Speaker 39 Yeah. But they're in so much pain.

Speaker 45 A lot of times you can see they're in pain. I can't see it.
Really?

Speaker 1 They're just listening to Scott's stap usually.

Speaker 38 I don't feel like they feel like they're, I think some of them are in pain. They're just, it's tough.
It's a hard, I just, it's hard for me to see and look at.

Speaker 33 It's just hard for me to look at.

Speaker 3 And we got a love fella in the house today, Riley Mao. How are you, brother?

Speaker 26 Doing well.

Speaker 31 Have you blasted that corn stalk yet?

Speaker 1 You popped that corn stalk, or what's going on with you, daddy?

Speaker 2 How's it?

Speaker 47 How's your love life, Bubba?

Speaker 2 Get us the latest, man.

Speaker 49 You uh, well, I almost had something happen yesterday.

Speaker 25 No,

Speaker 49 yep, it was during the Super Bowl. Um, a friend of mine invited me, okay, and we were hanging out, and everything was great.

Speaker 49 And this other guy shows up.

Speaker 7 No, so you met up with the girl?

Speaker 49 No, yeah, we were just at a bar.

Speaker 26 Okay, you're at a bar,

Speaker 50 and um and a dude showed up yeah no

Speaker 49 yeah i uh i saw him and i i knew something was gonna happen uh-uh

Speaker 2 and what was he wearing was he dressed pretty well um he just had slacks on and nice jacket

Speaker 53 him i mean that's did he know that you were there with her yeah oh So he rode in, right?

Speaker 14 And,

Speaker 2 okay, so he shows up. Now, what do you do?

Speaker 55 Are you posturing a little or what happened?

Speaker 8 Are you

Speaker 56 um, I'm just chilling, you know.

Speaker 49 I'm sitting next to her, and everything's going great. Um, and I get up to use the bathroom,

Speaker 49 and once I get back, he that's normal, dude.

Speaker 19 Go make toilet, that's normal.

Speaker 49 Go on, and uh, he's in my seat next to her.

Speaker 56 What the f?

Speaker 18 A white guy?

Speaker 17 Uh, no, wow,

Speaker 35 wow, a mixed guy,

Speaker 26 yeah, more darker.

Speaker 25 Okay,

Speaker 2 a lot of the black girls in our town and stuff would get knocked up by the black guys at a young age.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so all of our black girls disappeared at around 13 years old and got pregnant.

Speaker 58 Yeah, and they are back and they're different.

Speaker 54 And then they come back and they're just different, or they just like,

Speaker 58 yeah, they have a child now, or they have like baby milk on their shoulder or whatever.

Speaker 3 Like, they were just more advanced.

Speaker 7 Like the black kids in our school were more sexually advanced.

Speaker 2 They just had sex earlier and stuff.

Speaker 7 So I think that was intimidating.

Speaker 2 The black girls were intimidating because they had more experience.

Speaker 10 Yeah, it's funny.

Speaker 60 Sometimes you do talk to a black guys. Like, I got head when I was 10.
You're like, what?

Speaker 17 Like, what's up?

Speaker 18 Like, for real?

Speaker 61 Sorry, dude.

Speaker 35 It's okay.

Speaker 18 This place just went out of business.

Speaker 25 We're good.

Speaker 62 We were 16, 17 when we hooked up.

Speaker 15 Y'all met at a carnival?

Speaker 62 Yeah, she worked for somebody, and I was working out there, and she worked for a friend of mine, another family.

Speaker 52 Let me dart that balloon, huh?

Speaker 36 She was actually pregnant when we hooked up already too.

Speaker 17 Really? Yeah. Wow, that seems

Speaker 17 illegal. That's crazy.

Speaker 15 It's definitely God, but I don't know.

Speaker 19 And we're still friends.

Speaker 62 I mean, Ray Kwan, her son, works for me now.

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah, yeah, really?

Speaker 26 Yeah, her son works for me.

Speaker 9 Was there drug use out there?

Speaker 25 A little bit. Yeah.

Speaker 63 Yeah, just a little bit.

Speaker 64 So most of the time, I'm the server.

Speaker 17 You're on the line. Yeah.

Speaker 64 I like to be on the line because I know how fast I could go um even if i drop stuff you know i just keep on going oh yeah you know just keep on going just like your lunch lady annie well she was we had a couple of good lunch ladies we had this one lady we had named sarge actually and she was i think a um

Speaker 67 she loved ladies i'll say that

Speaker 13 oh yeah we had this other lady

Speaker 12 uh Miss Mon Creeff.

Speaker 13 She'd always be like, make sure to get your spedaged.

Speaker 68 That's what she called.

Speaker 68 You spedaghetti.

Speaker 22 Get your spedaged.

Speaker 18 So she would yell at us.

Speaker 64 That's funny.

Speaker 22 She'd be like, get your spatigetti. And instead of saying cake, she would say like, this is crazy, but she would kind of say like

Speaker 69 cack.

Speaker 3 So she'd be like, and get you a cut of coconut cat over there.

Speaker 64 See, I think we all have to be a little nuts, you know, to be over there so long around our buddies.

Speaker 64 You know, most think I am a little off, but it's okay because I've accepted that.

Speaker 25 You know, a long time ago.

Speaker 54 Dude, Shoni's Inn, bro.

Speaker 13 I remember for $11, you could stay at the place, right? For $15, you could stay and eat, right?

Speaker 66 So it was that $4 up charge, you got that buffet.

Speaker 13 Shoni's had an inn,

Speaker 3 and we would go, bro. And

Speaker 13 they also had this like premier buffet for like $2 more. You could go.

Speaker 55 They had like this kind of roped-off area of the buffet.

Speaker 12 And down there, they had fucking salmon or whatever, you know, damn pick, you know, special pickles, salmon, uh, honeydew,

Speaker 2 honeydew melon.

Speaker 58 Like, I'd never, shit, you'd never seen fucking gay watermelon.

Speaker 30 You know what I'm saying? They had all the special shit.

Speaker 69 When you're a kid, all that shit's nice until you get old and you're like, why am I eating this shit?

Speaker 42 I'm going to fucking die.

Speaker 18 Look at the people around me. Look what they look like.

Speaker 36 And here I am with them about to die.

Speaker 55 Now, Willie, what would it take to get you to cheer for another team?

Speaker 8 That is a question I would like to know, man.

Speaker 41 What amount of money would it take?

Speaker 71 Couldn't take no money. I'm a die-hearted tide fan.

Speaker 18 What amount of p would it take?

Speaker 71 No, uh, no p or nothing. I'm a die-hearted tide fan.

Speaker 2 Now, what if a woman came, and I'm talking a lady came over from

Speaker 8 Texas A ⁇ M.

Speaker 73 I'm talking a lady rides up in a Corvette, Willie.

Speaker 3 What the tits look like?

Speaker 26 With some of that fucking, that real, that real, she got some titties, look like two angry dogs trying to chew on your cock.

Speaker 27 Oh, the the time.

Speaker 27 Tell me this.

Speaker 3 She got that cooter on her, that egg.

Speaker 71 Yeah, but I seen some of them at the airport.

Speaker 44 Yeah, baby.

Speaker 74 And what do you now?

Speaker 71 Oh, man, did some of them have one?

Speaker 17 You got the body.

Speaker 29 Praise God, baby.

Speaker 75 Had one now at a choke of mute.

Speaker 18 Yeah, baby.

Speaker 29 That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 6 It was a nice building. They did have a pool at the building.

Speaker 4 That was pretty cool. Okay.
And I was learning to play guitar at the time. And so I would go in there.

Speaker 8 He'd have some, every now and then he'd have a chick stay overnight, go in there and play

Speaker 28 Tears and Tears.

Speaker 18 The song about Eric Clapton's son dying.

Speaker 75 Is that what it's about?

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 5 That's the song you would play while the guy was getting me.

Speaker 76 Oh, dude, I was like, it's about his fucking son falling out of a window.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 26 No way.

Speaker 6 How was it? Somebody's in the military?

Speaker 78 No, he was like a little ass kid, dude.

Speaker 37 It's a tragic song.

Speaker 18 Oh, dude.

Speaker 41 he's alive yeah

Speaker 78 so so your friend's dad who's giving you shelter is getting

Speaker 78 with one of his eight Viagras

Speaker 78 and he has to battle that Viagra's up against that old man's LED and the saddest song one of the saddest songs of the 90s

Speaker 78 A poor rendition by the way there's no way you were good at it you're butchering it and it's sad as shit

Speaker 76 Bink, bink. Oh, sorry.
Sorry.

Speaker 18 Bink, bink, bink, bink, bong. Oh, so my bad.

Speaker 80 Dude, but I would go in there, and one time after a couple, they would request you to come back.

Speaker 25 Wow.

Speaker 5 You were the fucking, you were the music for them.

Speaker 76 Fucking.

Speaker 9 There used to be a show.

Speaker 13 It was like Amish,

Speaker 8 something Amish. Like,

Speaker 12 something Amish.

Speaker 14 And they

Speaker 18 just wonder.

Speaker 35 Something Amish.

Speaker 18 Just one dude.

Speaker 2 Kept like mowing his grass.

Speaker 66 He had to use that old school cutter, this, like the spinning thing.

Speaker 67 And he's like, this sucks.

Speaker 31 I was adopted.

Speaker 2 I'm not even supposed to be Amish.

Speaker 76 He said, I'm not even supposed to be.

Speaker 80 Jury dude is fucking hilarious.

Speaker 81 It's like a flight that never takes off. You're just sitting there.

Speaker 60 Man, I wish you could pick your cases.

Speaker 81 Like, I wish they had like a menu, like, oh, here's the cases they're doing today.

Speaker 81 because then i could see if i want to pretend like i'm racist or not to try and get out of it oh yeah you gotta draw yeah i roll right in there and tell them i'm racist

Speaker 18 what what t-shirt are you wearing and last time they're like we have so many races here today we still have to ask you guys a couple questions

Speaker 28 we gotta we gotta we gotta filter through that see how racist you are Like we just go and grab a random group of 100 of America's dumbest people and be like, hey, sit in this room.

Speaker 56 We're going to use 10 of you to solve this murder.

Speaker 83 It blows my mind.

Speaker 22 Well, it's the craziest part about it is.

Speaker 80 This bitch works at a Leslie's pool supply.

Speaker 35 Now they're fucking in charge of a murder.

Speaker 29 Now they're trying to figure out who killed Kennedy right here.

Speaker 5 And some guy's like, I don't know the difference between a cucumber and a pickle.

Speaker 37 And you want me to decide on this jury?

Speaker 56 This is a fun rucker manager.

Speaker 53 You ever been in a pyramids game?

Speaker 25 No.

Speaker 6 I've been in a couple.

Speaker 84 My buddy won his his family's

Speaker 34 football pool.

Speaker 55 It was like their NCA, their college football pool they did every year.

Speaker 67 He won is like $600, dude.

Speaker 8 He was so excited. He could have changed his life.

Speaker 10 And instead, his mom convinced him to buy a Christmas village of like rare Christmas village houses.

Speaker 25 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 24 They're back.

Speaker 18 They're back.

Speaker 18 They're happening right now.

Speaker 73 My buddy to this day is.

Speaker 85 He's big into Christmas houses.

Speaker 17 No rent. Rent in much.
The tenants don't make much noise.

Speaker 30 And the street lights are always on.

Speaker 17 Electric bills low.

Speaker 18 So yeah.

Speaker 34 Running into a lot of issues, but God, that just broke him, man.

Speaker 84 He never recovered from that.

Speaker 2 Dude, I met a dude yesterday in Tennessee.

Speaker 30 He said he took out an $800 life insurance policy on his wife.

Speaker 35 I'm like, $800?

Speaker 35 That's pretty insulting.

Speaker 29 Well, yeah, that's what I felt like.

Speaker 38 When I say I know them, I was probably a kid, and there were people that worked around where I live with my, and I think they did crack. That was a rumor.

Speaker 17 Wow.

Speaker 40 But I don't really, I don't really know what crack does.

Speaker 13 It's a functional, like the My Pillow guy.

Speaker 81 Who does crack?

Speaker 22 He did it his whole

Speaker 4 building the pillows, you know?

Speaker 38 Really? Yeah. Oh, so good things can come out of it.

Speaker 1 Like, they're all crack success stories.

Speaker 35 You know what I'm saying? Oh, wow. Is that what the secret is?

Speaker 86 It's like cracking

Speaker 45 like they dust dust a pillow with crack before they ship it.

Speaker 76 People are like, yo, this is the best fucking pillow I've ever had in my life.

Speaker 38 This is my pillow. You can't have that shit.

Speaker 7 It's like crack bae, that guy like this, you know?

Speaker 18 He just.

Speaker 28 There's a guy on the assembly line just like as they pass.

Speaker 32 I was going to say, probably, I wish meth had like a birth control aspect to it.

Speaker 42 Oh, man.

Speaker 56 But I would go white cloth. I think it does.

Speaker 83 I think when you smoke meth, just everything dries up.

Speaker 44 Yeah.

Speaker 83 You know?

Speaker 9 Yeah, maybe that's true. I never smoked it.

Speaker 19 I always wanted to smoke crack. I never got to smoke crack.

Speaker 25 God damn. Um,

Speaker 83 it's um did you ever smoke it?

Speaker 17 Oh, yeah, really?

Speaker 70 Oh, fuck yeah.

Speaker 75 No way, dude.

Speaker 87 Damn,

Speaker 83 dude, you know, my body figured I was tweaking, and like, you know, and and they showed me how to, they're like, you got a light bulb? And I'm like, yeah, and so they showed me how to take the

Speaker 83 little silver thing off the bulb, and you can take it out, and then you put some warm salt water in there and switch it around. You get all that white shit off the bulb.

Speaker 83 Then you got a nice clear bulb.

Speaker 83 So then you kind of just tap some shit down in there and you can burn it and smoke it so whatever i i hit the shit whoo all of a sudden where's my guitar i want to play guitar so bad so for two days i sat there and playing two fucking days i don't i didn't eat i don't even think i pissed yeah it was insane and then so

Speaker 83 Two days later, somebody finally snaps me out of it by knocking on my door. It was my friend Brendan, Brendan Lauer.
And

Speaker 83 I hear the knock on the slider door and I'm like, oh, fucking, I put my guitar down.

Speaker 56 I'm like, I'll be right back.

Speaker 83 Like, don't, like, I hate to leave you. Like, oh, you know, I wanted that guitar so bad still after two days straight of playing it.
And I'll go open the door and my friend Brennan's there.

Speaker 32 He's like, what the fuck's all over your face?

Speaker 83 And I'm like, what? And I go in the bathroom and I look in the mirror and my face is all green. And I'm like, oh, fuck.
Like, I thought it was like from the meth or something.

Speaker 83 It was like, oh no, my skin's turning green. And it was from like the sh, I was playing my guitar for so long that the bronze on my strings had like gone to my fingers and I had touched my face.
Wow.

Speaker 83 And so I had green shit on my face from my guitar strings and I was so twacked out. You know, I didn't know what the fuck was going on.

Speaker 88 I took this girl home from the bar the other night.

Speaker 88 I just something caught me, you know.

Speaker 88 It was just different. Something different about her, you know.
She was kind of shy, but I liked her.

Speaker 88 So I got her home and when we pulled her pants off, she had nipples on her butt cheeks, man. It was so strange.
i didn't know how to feel about it

Speaker 3 nipples on her butt cheeks wow how to feel about it feel about it with them hands baby what are you talking about those are extra tits bro now i wouldn't motorboat them or you you you you're gonna end up in some dirty oil you feel me but those are extra tits brother It's great to challenge yourself and to push new limits and go to different heights.

Speaker 91 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 27 And be tough on yourself.

Speaker 91 But you also got to give yourself some grace.

Speaker 91 that's where that balance comes in. Yeah.

Speaker 91 So if you're down in you all the time,

Speaker 91 how is that going to make you feel?

Speaker 40 Down, depressed.

Speaker 91 Oh, my goodness. Now I got to do this.
Now I got to do that. Now I got to revert to this.

Speaker 28 Versus like, man, like, if I'm like, okay, I didn't fail.

Speaker 91 Okay. I'm not the only person to fail.
You know what I'm saying? Okay. How I get up out of this.
You know what I'm saying? Who I need to talk to to get up out of this.

Speaker 29 You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 17 Like a lawyer, usually.

Speaker 92 You're never supposed to say you're competitive, but I want, you know, there's been a lot of music biopics.

Speaker 44 Yeah.

Speaker 81 And I wanted to do a great fucking job, man.

Speaker 92 I love Bob Dylan. I love this artist.
None of this is for granted. This little misconception about actors, too, in acting.
You can have a cushy job on a TV show.

Speaker 92 If you don't give a fuck about your work, it could be a great lifestyle, right? You're making like high six figures, maybe low seven figures, and you're just showing up when you want.

Speaker 92 If you give a fuck about what you're doing, these are... These are long ass days.
You know what I mean? These are 14-hour days, six days a week sometimes, you know, three months.

Speaker 92 Look, I know people got it way harder but I want to feel that grit you know I want to feel it you know I hope people don't laugh at it I fucking really I feel like I'm the hardest working man

Speaker 92 anyway maybe I shouldn't say that but uh but no you respect what you do yeah because you got to what else is the point I talk about this friends a lot like this is too weird a lifestyle to be

Speaker 15 nonchalant about yeah why do this yeah

Speaker 55 if you're not gonna go as hard as possible what do you guys see on the cameras and did you guys ever catch anybody having sex or anything like that we've seen a lot on camera I've seen people getting head.

Speaker 69 I've seen it all.

Speaker 65 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 That's one vote for Trump right there.

Speaker 87 Hell yeah.

Speaker 3 But we had a direct incident with one of our guards.

Speaker 58 Okay.

Speaker 3 So. And what rank was he?

Speaker 8 He was a no-striper. No stripe.
He was a no-stripe.

Speaker 34 He was a baggy pant, Dickie-wearing guy like me.

Speaker 32 Good guy, though.

Speaker 94 But he was messing around with the girl from Cinnabon.

Speaker 26 He was. Yeah.

Speaker 94 So the girl from Cinnabon, we were watching her go from Cinnabon to to the parking lot to her car. Okay.
But she was walking with a guy.

Speaker 31 Oh, she's walking with a guy to her car.

Speaker 2 And I think he was in.

Speaker 94 I think he was the employee, one of the employees from the movie theater.

Speaker 54 She goes in there.

Speaker 34 We could clearly tell they're doing some shit.

Speaker 10 He leaves.

Speaker 94 Within five minutes, somebody else comes walking up. It's our guard.
He gets in the car.

Speaker 8 No. They start doing their thing.

Speaker 35 Was it a Honda Accord?

Speaker 35 It was

Speaker 62 Nissan Ultima.

Speaker 87 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 65 Ultima. For sure.

Speaker 6 So the company starts growing, right?

Speaker 7 And in addition to people helping each other get jobs, people were helping each other, people were starting relationships on there.

Speaker 6 I went on dates off of Craigslist before, you know?

Speaker 8 Good. I mean, I would use casual encounters too, you know? It's like that was sometimes I met a girl one time and we watched a Nets game and made love, honestly.

Speaker 96 And she let me sign her cast, right?

Speaker 95 And I was like, you know, and it was, we had a great time.

Speaker 74 I think we, I think we dated.

Speaker 39 Well, there's uh, there's no accounting for taste.

Speaker 28 Yeah, but uh,

Speaker 18 I'm glad. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 25 Who wants to be a Nets fan?

Speaker 21 I need Caleb Presley biblically, and that's your best friend.

Speaker 48 I just texted with him today, special guy.

Speaker 78 I have a, I have a crush on him that's like really it's bad because he's another SEC boy, right?

Speaker 15 Um, he went to um North Carolina, yeah.

Speaker 75 He went to New York City. You're kidding.

Speaker 45 Why is he he's like a volunteer?

Speaker 1 But he is a volunteers fan.

Speaker 2 He says he played at North Carolina.

Speaker 52 He didn't.

Speaker 97 He's a liar and a cheat.

Speaker 32 True, but he's handsome.

Speaker 78 It is true.

Speaker 10 And he is extremely unique.

Speaker 12 You guys are similar, I think.

Speaker 17 You guys are a really nice time.

Speaker 42 You think?

Speaker 75 We look a little related.

Speaker 56 Oh, I think so. Maybe it's true.

Speaker 3 You guys both have blue eyes.

Speaker 15 Yeah. You have blonde hair.
Yeah.

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 76 I have the same facial hair as him.

Speaker 42 Oh, damn.

Speaker 12 Have you been married before? No. No.

Speaker 7 It was your first marriage.

Speaker 97 Yeah, I was with, I've had three really long-term relationships.

Speaker 24 I had already felt so fucking terrible about cheating on girls. I always got caught.

Speaker 97 Inevitably, I got caught. And those were the, like, I can remember those phone calls and trying to explain why it didn't, you didn't care.

Speaker 82 Was there anything worse than that? Oh, my God.

Speaker 97 Well, it's tied with driving to someone's apartment to tell them that you're breaking up. I mean, those, two for me, are like, I've had a lot of motorcycle injuries.

Speaker 97 I'd take them a million times before I'd ever drive to someone's apartment and just say, like, I think we're in different places.

Speaker 84 Yeah. And they're like, no shit.

Speaker 48 Sometimes I have a tough time feeling proud of myself.

Speaker 52 Do you know what that, you know, and I think I've had other people calling our show that have talked about that, you know?

Speaker 17 What do you think it is?

Speaker 13 I don't know. I feel like

Speaker 2 I almost feel like it's just, there's a disconnect. Like it doesn't even land on me.

Speaker 52 Or I feel like maybe if I feel like I'm proud of myself, like if I actually feel proud of myself, it'll go against some script that I've always had written or some

Speaker 67 thing that was always written inside of me.

Speaker 19 You know, it's like it, it's almost like it wouldn't, if I wrote on the wall of myself, I'm proud of you, it wouldn't even fucking show up on the wall.

Speaker 40 What emotion would you feel if you saw that?

Speaker 19 Like what emotion would I feel if I saw what?

Speaker 40 I'm proud of myself. Would you go bullshit? Would you say be pissed off by it? Would you be annoyed? Would you just?

Speaker 52 No, I think I'd feel ashamed of myself for even thinking it.

Speaker 40 That's interesting. And it produced an emotion in you just now when you just thought about it.

Speaker 17 I saw that flash in your eyes.

Speaker 18 It's just a little bit of water.

Speaker 42 Oh, yeah. A little bit of fluid.

Speaker 56 Oh, yeah, dude. Fuck.

Speaker 8 We cry on here every week. Sorry.

Speaker 18 It's beautiful.

Speaker 31 No, it's okay.

Speaker 3 But yeah, we don't have any shame about that. Oh, you shouldn't.

Speaker 40 But I'm saying liquid leaving your body in a public place as long as it's through your eyes is not a problem.

Speaker 29 That's what I'm talking about, huh?

Speaker 18 Yeah, don't ask, don't ask.

Speaker 2 All this ditty stuff going on, man.

Speaker 84 What do you?

Speaker 86 I'm sure glad that I didn't hang out with him, right?

Speaker 53 You never were in his life.

Speaker 18 I've met him, right?

Speaker 35 But never went out, right?

Speaker 55 Is it scary when people get to a level of wealth that they can kind of have anything?

Speaker 82 Like, what are some of that?

Speaker 86 Like, I'll get invited to these parties, right? That are really nice house and stuff, right?

Speaker 76 Right.

Speaker 86 But there'll be like...

Speaker 86 50 servants, right? Five people to answer the door, six people that just specialize in toast, right?

Speaker 18 Just ridiculous shit, right?

Speaker 86 And all of them, like, how do you live like this?

Speaker 86 You know, because it's it's bad enough like i have too big a house um and so you have to have people there to clean it and stuff like that and there's no privacy just with that and there's people that'll have like 10 people in the house at all times yeah and i i don't see how they live right dude i remember when i first got a clean lady for to come once a week i helped her like the first month

Speaker 22 i felt horrible yeah dude trump yeah man insane took it took the hit though oh it was crazy dude yeah that image him yelling fight Yeah, fight.

Speaker 75 My God.

Speaker 85 I didn't know.

Speaker 2 Put that on the American flag. Yeah.

Speaker 93 You know, put that right where the stars are.

Speaker 1 This fucking dude.

Speaker 12 Now, this could be easily an actor.

Speaker 93 That's me. That's that is me.

Speaker 79 Me with one of those silicone masks on.

Speaker 2 It's like the Guy Fieri hat that you buy at the store that comes with the hair.

Speaker 93 Walked up. His face is going, well,

Speaker 78 he was up there. We was yelling.
They didn't know.

Speaker 99 But we could hear him.

Speaker 99 So we walked up.

Speaker 81 Oh, it is a fake cat.

Speaker 99 Probably five to seven minutes of Trump speaking. I'm estimating here.
I have no idea.

Speaker 24 He's got chew in, too.

Speaker 17 Big old hit.

Speaker 15 He's got chews stuck in his neck.

Speaker 99 We noticed the guy crawling,

Speaker 99 arm, you know, bear crawling up the roof of the building beside us, 50. 50 feet away from us.
So we're standing there, you know,

Speaker 99 we're pointing at the guy crawling up the roof.

Speaker 47 And he had a gun, right?

Speaker 7 I'm gonna call this dude up. Go do something, dude.

Speaker 75 Yeah, what are you doing?

Speaker 7 You're pointing at him for two minutes when you fucking just finishing a beer.

Speaker 18 Fucking 50 feet away.

Speaker 22 God gives you one chance to be a fucking hero.

Speaker 47 And instead, you pop open another fucking bush light, dude.

Speaker 2 Both of these gentlemen

Speaker 29 are

Speaker 35 just interesting creatures.

Speaker 18 These are actors, dude.

Speaker 35 This is a fucking, the backup, dude.

Speaker 85 They got this dude off of Timu, this announcer. Look what he's even using to interview him.

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 24 That's a mop. It's not even a microphone.

Speaker 35 That's a swiffer.

Speaker 72 What is the current immigration policy?

Speaker 31 Is that a fair question?

Speaker 93 As you can see, so it depends on. So again, it's so vast.
Like, are you coming over here as a tourist? Then you get a visa for six months.

Speaker 85 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 21 So if you come here to come here to work, you got to get a work, you got to have a passport and a worker visa.

Speaker 93 Now, there are so many types of visas from, you know, from entertainment to family to work.

Speaker 93 And it really just depends on what it is you're after if you're coming here and you have a valid passport and you have a you want to be a

Speaker 93 tourist for six months you get a tourist visa um and you you get it stamped and you fly in or drive in you come to the port of entry and and you're free to move out the country for six months if you overstay then you could be deported so why do people not want to use the pathways uh the legal pathways to immigration like it takes too much time it's it's the line's so long ah you're my mother's absolute favorite dude, just because this is why she's probably never heard any of your music, but because you say what you want to say.

Speaker 38 I came out with middle fingers on my CDs, like running my mouth.

Speaker 80 It's like I always say, and I sound redundant probably, but I haven't changed. The times have changed.
I've been doing the same thing since day one.

Speaker 22 Dude, you know what?

Speaker 31 I think that's really true about you because sometimes I think something you say, I'm like,

Speaker 59 it seems like the...

Speaker 2 Sometimes I'll be like, that seems kind of outdated, but the truth is just the times have changed. I was

Speaker 80 talking cash money shit since I was broke when I was young.

Speaker 18 Yeah. I've talked cash money shit.

Speaker 80 I probably came out of the womb talking cash money shit.

Speaker 55 Yeah. And they're like, it's a boy.
It's a girl.

Speaker 48 It's

Speaker 1 somebody talking shit.

Speaker 18 That's all we know.

Speaker 20 Crazy, dude.

Speaker 9 Just because like, I mean, obviously, like, so many people tell you all the time, just, you know, Dr.

Speaker 13 Fielder, just so much of just like, I mean, my brother would beat me, beat me to you guys's music.

Speaker 85 That's crazy.

Speaker 32 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I was the drum dude.

Speaker 74 I was a snare for my brother, and it was awesome, but it was loving, you know. Like,

Speaker 2 how bad was it like when addiction hit you guys's band and stuff? Was that pretty crazy?

Speaker 98 When you're

Speaker 98 looking around and you're seeing the guys in your band, everybody's this close from not waking up again,

Speaker 98 you know.

Speaker 98 Um, you know, that kind of shit.

Speaker 98 Um, and you know, and you've reached a level of like

Speaker 87 doing

Speaker 98 crazy shit like

Speaker 98 when you're shooting fucking Jack Daniels in your arm because you ran out of heroin when you could just drink the fucking jack and be like oh and just fucking drink we're out of heroin but I mean if we shoot it it'll be fucking better it's just alcohol like when you're doing dumb shit like that we're like I think it's

Speaker 98 someone's going to die here soon. Like we should all, and we did it as a band.
We were like, you know, we'd take handfuls of fucking halcyons, they were called,

Speaker 98 and then we'd fucking go that and go out for the night.

Speaker 87 But those are all, these are all fucking like downers and sleeping pills.

Speaker 98 So, like, who does that?

Speaker 98 We're doing such dumb, dangerous shit that everybody was like, all right, that's it. We're all going to do this together.
And we just, it was like 89, we all went to fucking rehab.

Speaker 4 Together?

Speaker 98 Different rehabs, but, um, but yeah.

Speaker 50 For me, I was mixing so much stuff, so much stuff.

Speaker 21 This kid was all over the fucking place.

Speaker 50 And down, but you could hear it in the music now. Sometimes we go back for laughs and we'll listen to some of the shit I made when I was like in psychosis.

Speaker 21 What would you say is the most fucked up

Speaker 21 you ever were for an album?

Speaker 51 I want to die in New Orleans.

Speaker 21 I think mine is.

Speaker 50 I was literally in psychosis from doing so much speed and downers, bro.

Speaker 50 I thought thought Southwest Airlines was trying to kill me.

Speaker 15 You told me that story once.

Speaker 50 I thought Kyle took a life insurance policy out on me for $70,000. This motherfucker.

Speaker 30 Bro, that's the most New Orleans shit ever, bro.

Speaker 26 Somebody takes a life insurance policy out for $700, bro, just for want to make it their truck payment.

Speaker 29 That's the fucking most New Orleans shit, bro. I remember that.

Speaker 21 We were in New Zealand when he told me that. He thought that they were putting a hit out on us.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 45 He thought, like...

Speaker 30 Why are you saying when he sent you down?

Speaker 18 I'll put them through hell.

Speaker 21 At one point, I was starting to get really impatient with it because I was tired of explaining.

Speaker 21 I was tired of explaining that

Speaker 21 this insane theory wasn't actually happening.

Speaker 79 I would one time.

Speaker 51 I thought he had my phone test.

Speaker 21 This was one time he quit Suicide Boys on Twitter. I don't know if you remember that.

Speaker 26 Oh, I remember. And he

Speaker 21 at the time, he had just bought a condo in Bradenton, Florida, outside of Sarasota. And I can't get in touch with him.
Kyle can't get in touch with him. And

Speaker 21 we decide, let's go out there. Let's just press him.
Let's be in person. So long story short, we fly down there, rent a car, drive to his apartment, and he doesn't expect us.

Speaker 21 He doesn't know we're coming. We go upstairs and I knock on the door.
And he's like, one second. And I think to myself, like, man, I just flew out here.
Fucked. I'm not waiting a second.

Speaker 21 I was like, bro, I'm here. What's up? Like, what's the problem? And he was like, oh, give me a second.
He had to go to the bathroom, do his little thing, catch my drift. And then we came outside.

Speaker 21 He was ready to talk. And this long story to say, I was trying to like see, I was like, is he fucking with me? Is he lying to me? Is he thinking I'm, does he think I'm stupid?

Speaker 21 Or does he actually believe this shit? And is he, is he fucking crazy? Yeah. So I had to sit him down.
And I was like, bro, the Southwest thing.

Speaker 21 Do you think that the board, like of like the people on the board of Southwest sit in a boardroom?

Speaker 25 Southwest Airlines.

Speaker 21 Southwest Airlines. And they discuss how we're going to assassinate Scrim from Suicide Boys.
And he looked at me dead in the eyes, the most serious look on his face.

Speaker 91 And he goes, Yes.

Speaker 21 And I lost my mind, bro. I took my phone and I threw it on the, I was trying to hit the grass, but I hit the sidewalk.
The fucker sparked it.

Speaker 32 And I pissed you off even more.

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 50 I thought they were trying to kill me because my brother had bootlegged one of our tracks

Speaker 50 because he was bad off on dope and sold it to this person for like 800 bucks, but actually didn't give him the song and just scammed him.

Speaker 50 And I thought the person he scammed was the son of somebody on the board of Southwest and they were just going to take me out.

Speaker 21 To speak on the other side of things I'm thinking what is coming out of his mouth is it real or not come to find out the story of his brother stealing a song and selling it is true so it's like and I'm sitting there and I feel bad because I'm like been calling him a liar in my head and all this shit and then I find out it's true so then I'm like all right so is all of this true I still refuse to believe that the board of southwest is meeting to discuss his assassination but I had my my brother and my family, bro.

Speaker 41 That was a crazy fucking time.

Speaker 50 Bro, I was very convincing.

Speaker 49 There's a guy living at our house at the moment, and he was like trying to get off work to just come down and just say hi.

Speaker 3 Oh, and just mill around?

Speaker 26 Like a loitering, they call it.

Speaker 56 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 82 I think you guys loitering must be a British thing, huh?

Speaker 53 Because we wouldn't say that. Loitering.

Speaker 36 What would you say?

Speaker 67 We do like, oh, yeah, stalking.

Speaker 55 Well, stalking is more like once you've loitered and you see something in the window, you know.

Speaker 13 You see something, you see a bit of tits in the distance or something.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that's stalking.

Speaker 58 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 74 And then it's breaking and entering, you know.

Speaker 54 And then it's marriage, usually.

Speaker 34 If you have a way with words, I think.

Speaker 1 Here's a couple of Viettes right here.

Speaker 48 Bring them up.

Speaker 1 And this is Jan there.

Speaker 29 Damn, this fucking

Speaker 75 kid is ripping, bro.

Speaker 15 Full allowance this week.

Speaker 25 God's damn, yeah. Yes.

Speaker 46 Look at his face.

Speaker 57 How does he even know how to feel all this?

Speaker 92 I got a game on tour right now.

Speaker 56 This kid could also be 40 years old, dude.

Speaker 47 We don't know what's going on, bro.

Speaker 53 Unreal if that's a real person and not AI.

Speaker 9 No one's going to know.

Speaker 77 The kids aren't going to remember this fucking guy.

Speaker 7 Dude, most people can't even see that far.

Speaker 32 How far can people see usually?

Speaker 87 What do you mean?

Speaker 31 I'm just saying, like,

Speaker 32 how far can somebody see?

Speaker 7 The average sight distance for a person with normal vision is about three miles.

Speaker 56 Get fucked, dude.

Speaker 48 When standing on a flat surface with their eyes about five feet above the ground, that is bullshit.

Speaker 2 I thought it was like 70 feet or something.

Speaker 9 Why are you asking this question?

Speaker 82 I'm not sure exactly, I guess.

Speaker 48 We were just talking about David Spade, average read.

Speaker 50 I just got a cyber truck, too.

Speaker 20 Oh, you were telling me that?

Speaker 56 Yeah. You got it?

Speaker 44 Yeah.

Speaker 70 How is it?

Speaker 72 It's wild, bro.

Speaker 61 I mean, for one, you feel like you kind of work at Lowe's kind of a little

Speaker 20 because it feels like you're supposed to be like delivering something to somebody, but you never drop it off.

Speaker 70 What do you put back there?

Speaker 2 I don't.

Speaker 20 Well, no, it's just the whole car feels a little bit like an appliance.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 31 So it feels like...

Speaker 52 It feels like sometimes somebody's just going to open up the back and just put a TV dinner in it.

Speaker 47 You know, it just has this like kind of, or just put a load of laundry in there, just press a button.

Speaker 2 You know, it has an appliancey kind of feel, but then it makes this sound when you go fast and it literally feels like you're going into the future.

Speaker 102 Nice.

Speaker 90 And some people don't know what it is.

Speaker 61 Like there was a guy who like, I don't know if he was homeless or not, but he just,

Speaker 2 he just seemed really homeless.

Speaker 44 And he, he was like, what is it?

Speaker 44 What is it?

Speaker 61 You know, and then he just kind of started yelling at it and just cracked a beer open.

Speaker 4 And I was like, God.

Speaker 92 Being married to a gay man would be fun because there's a feminine energy to him that would be like almost like having a girlfriend.

Speaker 53 Oh, it's the largest Pomeranian you can have if you're a woman, is a gay husband.

Speaker 28 Yeah, I like that. That's what I said.

Speaker 41 I feel like

Speaker 41 that would be your type if you dated black girls.

Speaker 84 I'm willing to date a nice black girl.

Speaker 51 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 41 What is, I mean,

Speaker 29 a black girl that's nice.

Speaker 41 What does she look like? Like, describe.

Speaker 28 Just tall, kind of.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 3 Has some booty on her, bro.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I knew that.

Speaker 14 I knew that.

Speaker 10 And some of the titty went into the booty.

Speaker 90 I was like, damn, this is a whole.

Speaker 41 I'm trying to imagine that.

Speaker 9 It was just

Speaker 17 a Coke bottle shape.

Speaker 68 I mean, she looked like the letter S, bro.

Speaker 25 Yeah.

Speaker 15 And she was

Speaker 66 really pretty eyes.

Speaker 61 Yeah.

Speaker 84 Nice.

Speaker 4 Soft spoken.

Speaker 13 Looked at me twice. Yeah.

Speaker 51 One time I hung around for a long time for the second look.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 61 But it still counts.

Speaker 36 It was weird at that point.

Speaker 74 It still counts. But yeah, it was a little weird.

Speaker 13 And I waved and I walked off, bro.

Speaker 4 And the wave was what fucking fucked me up.

Speaker 28 What type of fucking guy waves?

Speaker 41 See, that's going to turn black women off.

Speaker 3 I know.

Speaker 41 You don't do that shit. You got to be a little bit gangster.
You got to be straight up.

Speaker 41 They want straightforward, especially coming from you. You know what I'm saying? One of our white brothers in the community.
I think more black women want you to be, you got to be more assertive.

Speaker 41 Not too much, because

Speaker 41 you know how y'all, y'all get, but

Speaker 3 y'all got to meet it.

Speaker 30 None of that turn back the clock shit.

Speaker 67 I'm a modern-day soldier, brother.

Speaker 78 You get what I'm saying?

Speaker 41 Oh, yeah, like, um, yeah.

Speaker 68 100%, buddy.

Speaker 41 None of that going back to the 1800s bullshit. I'm saying, like, like, be assertive as if, like, 2012 and up, bro.

Speaker 28 Yeah, 2012 and up, assertive, right?

Speaker 52 You're fine as hell.

Speaker 41 You are beautiful. Yeah.

Speaker 59 And I I would like to see you soon.

Speaker 41 That works. But you got to be, you got to give them a little.

Speaker 35 They want to feel the oomph.

Speaker 18 You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Speaker 25 Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 18 I'm a colonel of this motherfucker tank. Y'all have to be back.
You get what I'm saying?

Speaker 33 Yeah, what's your kiddo like?

Speaker 17 I don't know if I.

Speaker 28 She's a stud.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's a baby.

Speaker 31 It's a girl.

Speaker 65 Were you there when she was born?

Speaker 79 I pulled her out of the coochie.

Speaker 16 No, you didn't. Yeah, you did.

Speaker 28 They let me bring my katana in.

Speaker 7 What kind of shoes did you wear?

Speaker 28 Close-toed.

Speaker 18 Obviously.

Speaker 22 I don't know if there's anybody.

Speaker 28 Close-toed shoes. I think that's what God wants.

Speaker 17 Yeah, you have to.

Speaker 1 Anybody that wears open-toed shoes to their child's birth is obviously, first of all, a Jimmy Buffett fan.

Speaker 45 Well, fuck yeah.

Speaker 38 Well, that's the one exception.

Speaker 35 I think Jimmy Buffett could wear thongs

Speaker 25 to

Speaker 18 the child's birth, I think.

Speaker 75 Well, what are you supposed to wear?

Speaker 28 Like, oh, I was saying, I pulled her right out, right out.

Speaker 58 No way you did. By the head, I did.

Speaker 93 I got gluffed up.

Speaker 45 And they let you do it. There's not somebody there.

Speaker 47 Is there a lifeguard or something?

Speaker 28 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 21 My doctor was such a baller.

Speaker 11 And is the mom awake during this? Yes, sir. Okay.

Speaker 18 She's full awake.

Speaker 65 She's not on her phone or anything, is she?

Speaker 38 She's on

Speaker 17 Clash of Clans.

Speaker 80 Oh, that's a child has filed emancipation papers.

Speaker 72 Yes, you can see him right there begging for a sip.

Speaker 28 Yeah.

Speaker 28 He's in.

Speaker 31 That's Deep Roy, isn't it? That's not.

Speaker 28 That's not Deep That's not a child, Alex.

Speaker 5 Deep Roy.

Speaker 18 And Roy's getting, look at her.

Speaker 30 She's just beyond.

Speaker 104 This is a new headshot.

Speaker 25 New headshot.

Speaker 45 So a Deep Roy has pretended to be an infant.

Speaker 76 This is going to be a newspaper article?

Speaker 76 Winnie Cummings

Speaker 75 was actually Deep Roy.

Speaker 32 I wouldn't be surprised. There's a lot of...

Speaker 30 Look, things are getting so tough out there. Tim,

Speaker 56 little people are going undercover.

Speaker 27 They just had the Russian girl who spake to the family

Speaker 57 to be able to eat and survive.

Speaker 38 So they're just going to have to, you know, and Whitney, because Whitney is

Speaker 22 busy. She's busy.

Speaker 97 This thing with Whitney, a great mom and everything, but she's busy.

Speaker 80 She's got a lot going on. So

Speaker 37 she might not notice if her son is Deep Roy.

Speaker 29 She might not notice.

Speaker 37 She's got Deep Roy there.

Speaker 29 Oh, you got a fucking young baby who's just in an Elvis outfit.

Speaker 37 She might like how quickly he's growing.

Speaker 97 And like, she might be like, my baby's so impressive.

Speaker 76 He's speaking.

Speaker 18 He's speaking Hindu. He's speaking Hindu.

Speaker 37 He's dressed like Elvis.

Speaker 5 Yeah, he's doing great.

Speaker 28 I've done a great job.

Speaker 77 I mean, how would you approach that?

Speaker 47 I was a kid.

Speaker 43 Your wife is allergic to the fucking, you know what I mean, cat. And I'm your kid.
Be real.

Speaker 17 Don't do comedy. Don't do comedy right now.

Speaker 104 Okay. I would probably get a shot.

Speaker 77 I'm your dad. I'm your son.
Okay.

Speaker 76 Hey, Dan.

Speaker 40 Bubby. No, no, you don't have to.

Speaker 31 Sorry, just do it like me.

Speaker 76 I don't know.

Speaker 75 Wait, you don't have to have an Asian accent.

Speaker 25 I don't know what country.

Speaker 18 I don't know what country we're in.

Speaker 75 No, no, no. You're you.
Okay.

Speaker 104 Got it.

Speaker 45 I didn't know what you were in. Out of nowhere you could have an Asian accent?

Speaker 26 I didn't know what country we were in.

Speaker 18 No, we're in America.

Speaker 36 Who gives a fuck? Well, give me a setting there. All right.

Speaker 5 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 37 I have to be that specific.

Speaker 75 Yeah, you're just okay. You live in Nashville.
Okay.

Speaker 18 Your wife is white.

Speaker 48 You're my son. Yeah,

Speaker 7 I'm not not Asian. All right.
Make believe that I'm your biological son. Okay.

Speaker 17 Right?

Speaker 3 Yeah. Hey, daddy.

Speaker 67 Hey, Chucky, what's up?

Speaker 31 I don't know.

Speaker 90 The people don't even get thought of anymore, it feels like a lot of times.

Speaker 2 And here's the toughest part I think, Bernie, is as a person who you know has felt like in their life, maybe their father died in a war, their grandfather died in a war, and they've been tried to pay their taxes and be a considerate person in their town or their country.

Speaker 82 After a while, those good people start, it starts to

Speaker 2 erode a little because they don't feel like, and they lose their sense of purpose.

Speaker 7 Man, when you're, you lose the fabric of your society, a lot of people, that's how they, they didn't even realize it.

Speaker 43 A lot of us don't even realize that's, we identify as an American.

Speaker 31 And when you realize, well, America, it's nothing, but it's a, it's a shell LLC for fucking big corporations, then what am I?

Speaker 48 I'm just a, I'm just a idiot.

Speaker 66 You know, you almost feel ashamed of yourself, you know, or you can, you know, anyway, it just, just i don't know a lot of that stuff just

Speaker 40 i just don't see how people think that that's good or how you're gonna still be able to get people to buy in theo i think you said it better than i did i mean i agree with you i think a lot of people are ashamed they're giving up they're hurting yeah

Speaker 70 many of these people have fought and died of their families have fought and died in wars and they're good people and maybe they're you know nurses and you know business people yeah anything crossing guard male right exactly they believe in their community yeah.

Speaker 70 And meanwhile, they're getting ripped off by people on top politically and economically.

Speaker 66 Well, even the radio, like you're saying, it's like you used to have like a newspaper and you read and it meant something.

Speaker 2 Your community meant something. It used to be that your grandpa worked at the factory and they made the table that you have in your home.

Speaker 66 And so everything had a story to it.

Speaker 7 There's some connection.

Speaker 82 And now it's like we're buying stuff from countries that they're making it.

Speaker 57 They don't care.

Speaker 2 We're using it. We don't care.
There's no story.

Speaker 66 Nobody has any like,

Speaker 26 there's no

Speaker 2 there's no thread.

Speaker 84 You know, the thread just gets thin.

Speaker 70 That's a very profound point you just made.

Speaker 2 And so how do we get it back, you know?

Speaker 44 It ain't easy.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 26 But I think you hit the nail on the head.

Speaker 43 And you don't drink or smoke, right?

Speaker 105 I don't drink or smoke.

Speaker 26 You never have?

Speaker 105 No, I never have.

Speaker 105 I had a great

Speaker 105 brother who taught me a lesson. Don't drink.

Speaker 67 What was his name, Donald?

Speaker 105 His name was Fred, Fred Trump. So I never had a cigarette, and I've never had a glass of alcohol.
And my brother was incredible.

Speaker 105 He would tell me because he knew he had a problem and it'd say, don't ever drink, don't ever smoke. He'd always add smoking because he did smoke a lot.

Speaker 53 Did you guys ever do anything fun together? Like one nice memory that you have with him?

Speaker 105 He had a great talent for flying. He was a pilot.

Speaker 65 Oh, sweet. And he loved it.

Speaker 3 Did you ever fly with him?

Speaker 105 I did. I flew with him.
He was a great pilot and very talented. Other pilots would come to his house to study with him.
Watch him fly.

Speaker 105 And he was really talented at that, but ultimately he had to give that because of the alcohol. He had to give that up, which was a hard thing for him to do, but he had to give that up.

Speaker 67 I saw where you had your mom was out and you congratulated her on, she almost has 10 years of sobriety, you said?

Speaker 85 That's right.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she's in January.

Speaker 103 January of 2025. She will be 10 years clean and sober.

Speaker 6 What was it like growing up with an alcoholic mother?

Speaker 20 And no judgment against your mother.

Speaker 2 This is just to look at it, right?

Speaker 53 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 17 I appreciate that.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 67 What is that like?

Speaker 52 Like, is it hard to make a connection with your mom?

Speaker 67 Like, what are some of the side effects of that on a child?

Speaker 103 Even as a young kid, I sort of very neatly divided the world into like three categories of people, right? There were the helpless people, the victims, the people who needed to be helped.

Speaker 103 There were the bad guys who were preying on the victims, and then there were the strong people who sort of stood up for everybody else and stood up to the bad guys.

Speaker 103 And that's like, you know, that's overly simplistic.

Speaker 103 But definitely, you know, I saw my my mom growing up very much as this person who was kind of a victim and was being preyed on by bad people, right?

Speaker 103 And then the person who was sort of looking up for us and standing up for me, especially, was my grandmother. And I think that attitude of,

Speaker 103 you know, some people... are just not as strong as we wish them to be.

Speaker 103 And I probably went into the Marine Corps.

Speaker 103 I was pretty whiny, pretty resentful kid, was pissed off at my mom, was pissed off at all these other people because I didn't have the things that I thought I should have.

Speaker 103 And then eventually, yeah, there's me when I was much, much skinnier, much better looking.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 82 The Marines, dude, that was the original Ozimpic.

Speaker 76 That's right.

Speaker 72 There's a lot of Asians for Trump out there.

Speaker 84 Do you know that?

Speaker 7 How do Asians feel about Trump?

Speaker 26 Let's say it, man.

Speaker 85 Can I say something to you? Yeah.

Speaker 68 I'm not the president of Asians.

Speaker 56 I seem to think that you seem to think that I'm their leader.

Speaker 43 Like every month there's a gathering, right? And I get all this information from people. Yeah.
Right. And then I go out to the world, I'm their spokesperson or something.

Speaker 56 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Speaker 72 You're like Kim Jong-un.

Speaker 17 No, I'm not Kim Jong-u. You're like a smaller version.

Speaker 18 You're like Scam Jong-here.

Speaker 33 There was one lady that covered the Trump thing.

Speaker 55 I think this was an Asian lady.

Speaker 2 Do you see the thing?

Speaker 2 Covered the time that we interviewed Trump.

Speaker 53 This is kind of self-aggrandizing or whatever.

Speaker 26 Oh, here we go.

Speaker 106 But that's not even all.

Speaker 106 Trump has wooed this hyper-masculine online culture deeply.

Speaker 106 During a recent podcast with the comedian Theo Won, instead of talking about the economy or immigration or healthcare or the global conflicts, they discussed cocaine addiction.

Speaker 18 No,

Speaker 18 did you eat?

Speaker 75 Did you really?

Speaker 17 Cocaine addiction.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 68 And And some people are just food, just real creeps when it comes to eating.

Speaker 4 You know, I've had owl.

Speaker 12 I don't know if we can say it or not, but...

Speaker 27 No, you can't.

Speaker 26 Well, I didn't.

Speaker 6 You just did.

Speaker 27 I didn't have it.

Speaker 17 You ate an owl?

Speaker 38 You just said you did, though.

Speaker 27 Huh?

Speaker 45 You just said you had owl. Did he not just say he had owl?

Speaker 26 I didn't do it. Wait a minute.

Speaker 91 I think he said eagle.

Speaker 44 Yeah.

Speaker 90 No, I didn't say eagle, dude.

Speaker 30 And if I did,

Speaker 74 it was a wigged eagle.

Speaker 25 I don't need bald eagle.

Speaker 73 No, but I did have, we had owl.

Speaker 14 My sister's starving.

Speaker 90 Grilled up two owls.

Speaker 18 You just said you didn't. Was it fried?

Speaker 29 I thought we could say.

Speaker 27 You can see. Ronnie did it.

Speaker 25 No.

Speaker 18 I eat anything.

Speaker 18 You're a

Speaker 18 freaking owl eater.

Speaker 27 A bald eagle.

Speaker 18 You didn't have a lot.

Speaker 29 Didn't have a lot.

Speaker 27 There's not a lot to them.

Speaker 17 That's the trick.

Speaker 86 You didn't swallow?

Speaker 18 I didn't inhale.

Speaker 10 You know, thanksgiving,

Speaker 10 it's interesting that even time

Speaker 90 says, hey, hold on.

Speaker 8 I need you to give some thanks.

Speaker 1 I need you to, you have to have some gratitude here.

Speaker 12 You know, and I think that that, to me, that's pretty fascinating that that is a speed bump that's been put into

Speaker 65 our calendar.

Speaker 84 It's just built in there.

Speaker 8 You know, it's a comma

Speaker 65 that says, hey, care, right?

Speaker 2 Care about the things that have happened to you.

Speaker 8 You know, find things to have gratitude for.

Speaker 2 And so, yeah, I want to think about those today and just things that I'm thankful for.

Speaker 63 I'm thankful.

Speaker 10 Yeah, being able to whisper, that's a big one.

Speaker 8 I'm so thankful for that.

Speaker 8 Because otherwise, everybody in your family would just wouldn't know how you felt about them.

Speaker 60 You're asking me what I've been up to. I've been visiting schools.

Speaker 60 Now I have to look at real schools because

Speaker 60 my oldest daughter's going to turn five. So that's like kindergarten.
So yes, she has to get to the real school system.

Speaker 60 And we were looking at this one place, and they have plainclothes, just like guards now with guns.

Speaker 60 So it's kind of sick. I was like, dude, I really want to retire and become the plainclothes, just

Speaker 60 walk around a school, just grow like a ponytail and just be a teacher. That's all you do all day.
You carry a gun, you just wait wait for like some nerd to pop off and you just

Speaker 103 blast him

Speaker 18 dude

Speaker 35 that'd be that would be honorable man like what if you

Speaker 67 what if you start tripping in your head and thinking that somebody's like some kid is like plotting like i'm like the true detective i'm russ cole of school school security

Speaker 60 i i'd i'd have to wait till they pop they'd have to pull out first

Speaker 67 you'd think you would set a kid off is that

Speaker 18 i'm i'd be like

Speaker 60 no i'm saying you're saying like get like all tripped out. Like, damn, is this kid getting paranoid? Like, I know these motherfuckers.

Speaker 9 Like, oh, Damien's up to somebody.

Speaker 60 I know he's packing. No, I would just wait.
I would chill. I'd do my thing.
And the moment one of those motherfuckers pulled out the steel, I would just be there

Speaker 60 ready to die and just walk him down.

Speaker 25 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 That's your job.

Speaker 73 So, Beast Games, that's the show.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 107 So, before this, we were showing on episode one of a show I have coming out December 19th.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you said there's a lot of world records that were broken in the shooting of

Speaker 17 of this series.

Speaker 103 Yeah, 40 Guinness World Records.

Speaker 42 Wow.

Speaker 107 Yeah. We have like so many plaques now that we have up on our wall.

Speaker 36 I'm basically making a wall out of Guinness plaques just from the show.

Speaker 2 What are some of the records you guys broke?

Speaker 107 Most contestants ever in a show, largest cash prize in a show. Most cameras recording at once in a show.

Speaker 107 Most people,

Speaker 17 which you saw. Yeah.

Speaker 107 And a show, like, most money given away in the first episode of a show. Just like stuff like that.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Oh, that's the most people probably since 9-11, I would think.

Speaker 18 Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 96 We might have to take that out.

Speaker 95 Yeah, and I shouldn't have said that. I'll say something else.

Speaker 95 Yeah, I haven't seen that many people

Speaker 77 at the same time.

Speaker 48 Wait, why was there a cut before you say what you're saying right now?

Speaker 24 Huh?

Speaker 1 Oh, there's just we needed something.

Speaker 18 You had to use the bathroom.

Speaker 42 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Just had to use the. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I'd already soiled the conversation.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's the most people at once that I'd seen since

Speaker 12 I was in the parking lot of a widespread panic concert, you know?

Speaker 90 but that was LSD.

Speaker 96 Um,

Speaker 15 that kind of works a little.

Speaker 75 Yeah, I think that's,

Speaker 5 honestly, you should keep the first one.

Speaker 18 I think that's the one. There we go, dude.

Speaker 89 But if I've done one thing well, it's what I call failure. And that is, I ran for sophomore, junior, and senior class presidents.
I lost three times.

Speaker 89 And based on my track record, I decided to run for student body president where I went on to wait for it, lose. I've started nine businesses, seven have failed.

Speaker 89 I can't tell you how many women in Whole Foods and other places and other retail establishments I've been rejected by.

Speaker 89 But the reason I get to live the life I lead, the reason I'm with a very high character, attractive person, is because I have always been able to endure rejection.

Speaker 89 And that is the key. That is the skill.
Because one of the great things about America is we don't embrace failure. That's bullshit, but we tolerate it.

Speaker 89 If your business fails, but you're a good person, usually your investors will back you again. And if you approach a woman and express interest and she's not interested, you're both going to be fine.

Speaker 89 Yeah. And show me a guy.
Show me a guy. You know, we all know that guy.
You think, okay, he's a nice guy. He's modestly successful.
He's not that attractive.

Speaker 28 And he's with just such a high-quality woman.

Speaker 89 That guy is not afraid of rejection. That guy cycled through nine women who said, get the fuck away from me.
Yeah. Before he found that one woman who gave him a chance to be funny, kind.

Speaker 89 She was drawn to his smell. She liked the way he treated his parents.

Speaker 89 The key to success in America is what Winston Churchill said, and that is the willingness to fail or your ability to fail and not lose your sense of enthusiasm.

Speaker 102 There was a study done in Australia, or at least, I used to work in palliative care as a doctor looking after dying people. You know what the top regret of dying people was?

Speaker 102 that they didn't have the courage to be themselves.

Speaker 102 And the third top regret was that they didn't have the courage to express their emotions. They pretended to be happy when they were not, and so on.

Speaker 102 So the question for the rest of us is, do we want to wait till some terminal illness wakes us up?

Speaker 102 Or should we just confront the fact that in so many ways we're afraid to be authentic because we're so afraid of being rejected?

Speaker 53 You've really taken over America.

Speaker 33 Dude, you've kind of become like

Speaker 66 a stitch in the American flag. I feel like you're like this thing that everybody feels like they can believe in, you know?

Speaker 101 There was a time last year and I just like

Speaker 101 Had a prayer where I was like, I want to be happy. I want to travel and I want to meet people.
And God answered me like crazy.

Speaker 17 Like, really? Yeah.

Speaker 42 Wow.

Speaker 26 And you really were praying that? Yeah.

Speaker 42 No, he humbled me for sure.

Speaker 15 Wow, man.

Speaker 24 That's powerful, huh?

Speaker 79 Yeah, no, power and prayer.

Speaker 100 And you're going to pay me to go fucking relive my life. Like, if you said, hey, Sean, you want to go hit the restart button?

Speaker 33 Like, fuck you. Really?

Speaker 18 Fuck no.

Speaker 100 The school system's like, oh, Sean, like he's just a bad kid they don't realize him up till three o'clock in the morning like you know late i mean fuck dude i remember it's hard to stay up late and learn dude i remember like laying in bed like i remember i stopped believing god man like fucking

Speaker 100 like i had fucking um yeah it's crazy dude

Speaker 100 crazy man yeah

Speaker 67 it's okay man it's a lot of that said dude i used to be scared at night like uh

Speaker 13 i used to stand up like I heard when I was a kid that like

Speaker 53 if you peed around your, like animals could pee somewhere that other animals wouldn't come.

Speaker 26 You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 44 Huh? Yeah,

Speaker 26 have you ever heard that?

Speaker 50 Yeah, I'm sorry, bud.

Speaker 25 So, ah, man.

Speaker 90 I'm sorry, buddy.

Speaker 100 That's all good, dude.

Speaker 61 We don't have to talk, man. I'm gonna sit here with you for a minute.

Speaker 61 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 25 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 27 Six seconds.

Speaker 100 I can just sit here. We can just see it.
Ah, it's all good, dude. Six seconds.
I just process it.

Speaker 29 I think

Speaker 100 it's one of the hard things that people don't understand, like trauma, you know?

Speaker 90 Yeah.

Speaker 61 Sometimes it just comes out.

Speaker 100 Oh, nah, dude. Like, I remember

Speaker 100 I have a hole in my gum.

Speaker 100 Yeah, when I was a kid, I used to scratch my gum. I'd have a hole in my gum.

Speaker 84 Just from being nervous and stuff?

Speaker 100 Nah, just anxiety, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 100 Yeah, even to this day.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 35 I mean, in the day, dude, like, I'm a grown-ass man.

Speaker 100 I don't give a fuck. I mean, you could post this.

Speaker 27 I don't care.

Speaker 57 Oh, dude, I don't have any.

Speaker 100 No, it's all good, dude. I mean, it's what it is, dude.
Like, it is what it is. Like, people understand.
Like,

Speaker 100 when I talk about, like, oh, I kill a man.

Speaker 3 It's like you don't understand, dude. Like,

Speaker 100 what do you go through that level of trauma?

Speaker 70 Like, you just view the world differently.

Speaker 10 Anything new in the dating world?

Speaker 25 Uh,

Speaker 26 kinda.

Speaker 8 Yeah, what you got, you little squirrel buddy.

Speaker 90 What happened?

Speaker 15 Well, back in March, I had a little

Speaker 103 incident with

Speaker 42 a girl.

Speaker 84 You had an incident?

Speaker 15 I met her at a bar.

Speaker 87 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 87 And then...

Speaker 15 Went home with her that night.

Speaker 10 And now, Riley, at this point,

Speaker 10 you've still in

Speaker 10 your

Speaker 7 ejaculatory

Speaker 2 promissory note with the Lord is still intact, right?

Speaker 63 Correct.

Speaker 87 Okay.

Speaker 2 So, what happened? Did you end up? I mean, like, how did it end, dude? You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 84 Like, did you end up, you know, creaming that little nugget or what happened?

Speaker 36 I did. No,

Speaker 25 what?

Speaker 5 Riley Mao.

Speaker 10 God, baby.

Speaker 59 Congratulations, dude. I don't see a lot of that.

Speaker 3 Come over here and shake my hand real quick.

Speaker 8 I just want to shake the hand of a man that's

Speaker 65 come recently this year.

Speaker 2 Congratulations, man.

Speaker 43 Thank you.

Speaker 90 Good to see you, brother.

Speaker 98 All right, go back.

Speaker 108 Well, sniffing that cocaine all over town, honey, don't let my deal go down. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 108 It was meant for horses, not for men. Doctor said he keyed, but he didn't know when.
Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 108 Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me. You rink corn liquor, let the cocaine be.
Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 108 Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me. You rain corn liquor, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 25 Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 108 I'm walking up the field, gondon man, trying to find a nickel for the buy cocaine. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 108 It'll burn out your nose, y'all turn red. The goddamn cocaine will kill you dead.
Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 108 Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me. Drink Derink corn, liquor, let the cocaine be.
Hey, hey, buddy, let's cocaine be.

Speaker 108 Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me.

Speaker 29 Drain corn, liquor, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 108 Hey, hey, buddy, let's cocaine be.

Speaker 108 Well, I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's killed my friends, friends, it's gonna kill me too.
Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.

Speaker 108 Some of you people, you think you're tough. Sniffing that cocaine just like snuff.
Hey, hey, buddy, let's cocaine be.

Speaker 108 Well, tell it to me, tell it to me. Drink corn, liquor, let the cocaine be.
Hey, hey, buddy, let's cocaine be.

Speaker 25 Yeah, tell it to me, tell it to me.

Speaker 108 Drink corn, liquor, let the cocaine be. Hey, hey, buddy, let the cocaine be.
beautiful.