E529 Post Malone

Calling all Call of Duty fans, the iconic map, Verdansk, returns to Call of Duty Warzone.

Starting April 3rd, you'll be able to drop back into Verdansk, experience all the chaos, and relive the thrill you've been missing. not only will you get the classic battle royale experience we all know and love

but verdansk is back with gameplay updates and the return of Verdansk-era weaponry. That's right, you'll experience Verdansk like never before.
Smoother movement, stunning visuals, and new mechanics. Whether you're dropping in solo or teaming up with your squad, it's time to come home

to Verdansk. So download Call of Duty Warzone for free and drop into Verdansk on April 3rd.
Rated M for Mature. We have some new, new tour dates to announce.
Bloomington, Indiana. on November 13th at the Indiana University Auditorium.
Columbus, Ohio November 14th at the Schottenstein Center. Champaign, Illinois up there November 15th at the State Farm Center.
And Grand Rapids, Michigan on November 16th at the Van Andel Arena. Get tickets early starting thursday september 5th at 10 a.m local time with pre-sale code rat king general on sale starts friday september 6th at 10 a.m local time we also have shows in bend oregon spokane portland, Oregon, Vancouver in the Canada, Oklahoma City, North Little Rock, Springfield, and Kansas City, Missouri.
Sioux Falls, South Dakota, La Crosse, Green Bay, Moline, Colorado Springs, Casper, Billings, Missoula, Lafayette, and Beaumont, Texas. Get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R.
Make sure to buy through that link so you aren't visiting a secondary site. And thank you so much for all of your love and support.
Looking forward to seeing you there. We've got new merch.
Check out the new

Return of the Rat tie-dye tees in green and purple. We also have the Be Good to Yourself collection, gang gang, hoodies, and much more, baby.
I'm upstairs at theovonstore.com. today's guest is a musician, artist, producer, actor.

He's done it all.

He has a new album coming out called F1 Trillion.

Actually, it's out now.

You can go enjoy it.

It's him and some of my favorite artists.

I saw him perform at the Grand Ole Opry last night, and it was magnificent.

I'm so thankful for the energy that he's given to the world to bring us together, really. Today's guest is Mr.
Post Malone. Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories.

Shine on me.

And I will find a song I've been singing. I love this song.

A little wine.

A little wine is good.

It's good for the heart. Doctors say pregnant ladies can drink it.
Can they really? That's what they say. Yeah, but have you seen the babies? They're pretty fucking awesome whenever they come out.
That's the point, dude. I'm going to say this, dude.
They shred a lot. They're like, I've been fucking drinking before I was born.
Yeah. A lot of them have real pale skin and they're gingers, which are good citizens of the society.
And they wear carolina jersey so they fucking go hard bro depends on what wine it is yeah if you drink like a nice bordeaux as opposed to like uh franzia which i love fucking franzia uh a little bag of wine yeah put in the saddle bag put in well franzia was always like that wine that um every now and then your parents would have a party or something and then you would like go into the kitchen late to get a little snack or a little like square of cheese or cracker somebody had left and you'd go in there and some lady would come just just stumbling out of the christmas tree and she'd be like, hey, hey, yeah. And gave it to you?

Fed you franzing?

No, she'd have it tucked under her arm.

At that point, sometimes they'd have it out of the box

or naked, as they call it.

Well, you have to have it out of the box, I believe.

Oh, you do?

Yes, sir.

It's like a water skin.

It makes me feel like a frontiersman.

Whenever they have those fucking, what shape are those? Like a kidney-shaped you know what i mean water kidney oh yeah yeah yeah it is it has a very at that point it gets a like a camelback vibe it's like a fucking uh bagpipe i'm not surprised if some of those bagpipe players aren't just uh well you can actually hear a bagpipe. Right, but a bagpipe is the blowout and the Franzia is on the way in.
But you think you might bring two bagpipes. One is Franzia.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you can put it in a camelback.
It's genius. It makes so much sense.
I had a bag of wine in my bed under my pillow for all of school. I don't know if I should say this.
What school was it at? School. I was at school, and my parents never found it.
No way. Yeah, because it's kind of like a – I told them I bought like a waterbed pillow.
And you could just lean over and just – It's like sucking on Romulus or Mother Rome's teat. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, like sucking on Mother Rome's teat, man. Nothing like it.
There's nothing like it. Ask them.
There's nothing like you do good? Is everybody in there okay? Yes. Okay, cool.
Thank you so much. You got like a big lightsaber? That thing that like it's like you hit it and like somebody's whoop bracelet goes off in the distance or whatever.
You know what I'm talking about? It's like that vapor you hit it and somebody's whoop bracelet is like, I'm fat or whatever. What's a whoop bracelet? A whoop bracelet is like, bring it up.
A whoop bracelet, it's like a bracelet that tells you you're sleeping well it like monitors your heartbeat and then there's like a little plug or something maybe i think allegedly you can put into your side or something to monitor your sugar and it'll send the information to it so it can tell if you're dreaming or if you like if you if you're you know you've never met your father it can tell you everything dude don't they have them on apple watches i think they have the find your dad app on the apple oh yeah well yeah then they just somebody didn't trademark it then because a lot of people are doing it because sometimes it'll say on the whoop bracelet it'll say whoop there he is and it'll play that song you know for your dad yeah like if you get close enough to him yeah exactly it gets louder when the closer're like whoop there he is and that's showing

my age post well good to see you hey thanks for having me yeah man congratulations dude i saw you at the uh grand old opry last night thank you sir thank you for coming thank you was that your first time there yes sir that was my first time and i remember i i laid down after i got home last night and I was like was Theo Vaughn there

cause I'm

85% sure I said hi

but I laid down after I got home last night, and I was like, was Theo Vaughn there? Because I'm 85% sure I said hi, but I didn't know if I was just dreaming. But lo and behold, you were there.
Yeah, and you said, hey, man. It was nice.
Well, I imagine it was such a tough place to be. I mean, there were so many stars in the building.
And that was your first time performing there. Yes, sir.
Terrifying. Terrifying.
Yeah, because it's like going to the Mount Everest of performances, of live there. Yes, sir.
Wow. Terrifying.
Terrifying. Yeah, because it's like going to like the Mount Everest of performances.
Yes, sir. Of live venues.
Yes, sir. Yeah.
It's terrifying. Yeah, and you brought out John Michael Montgomery, Lainey Wilson.
Brad Paisley came out and played three or four songs with you. You brought out- Warren Treaty.
Yep, you brought out Warren Treaty. And and who else those dudes are handsome oh vince gill vince gill so cool it's so cool man i i'm just like i'm i'm absolutely floored i can't even um begin the crowd was so amped man i i you know i i never know what to expect but it was someone said that there were two tickets sold for like $22,000 a piece.
What? Which is awesome. That's insane.
Oh, somebody. Someone is so disappointed.
Yeah. Well, no, they got the Celaini and – And somebody else is buying their wife a set of supreme tits or hip replacements.
You could have got two tickets. 44 grand.
Think of the boobs. Could have got.
Pull that up. What kind of breasts can you get at 44 grand? And I have a blocker on this computer because I used to have a pornography issue.
So I don't know if we can pull that up. See what they allow.
How much breast can you get for 44K? 44K just like that. Yeah, exactly.
There's going to be some track tips. 44 large.
I'm 44K. Oh, chest.
44 large, bro. That was good.
That was really good. What's 44K size breast? Yeah, let's see tell me tell me to look away if it gets too crazy um this is science i'm five six and 245 pounds i've always had a severe back and neck problems because of them in quotations and they're talking about them okay ever since and look i don't want to use pronouns but we're talking about us them sure titties yeah exactly That's mine, yeah.
Ever since I was in high I don't want to use pronouns, but we're talking about us, them. Sure.

Titties.

Yeah, exactly.

That's mine.

Yeah.

Ever since I was in high school.

Those are Ks.

Oh, wow.

Those are double Ks.

What's the biggest size?

Ever since I was in high school, I've been medicated.

I don't think you need to be medicated.

Okay.

That's an excuse to use drugs, bro.

That's my, my A cups are driving me nuts.

I need something. Whoa! Oh, my God, bro.
That ain't the San Andreas fault, dog. That is amazing.
Wow. What if someone fell in there? Oh, the best, the funnest thing to do there would be order one of those.
You go to a restaurant and they put the little shots of different tequilas sure and you just put them right in do a whole flight yeah yeah you do a whole fight which you guys can't see it wow wow these are she's killing it oh she's killing and they're natural you can tell oh those are yeah you couldn't do that i mean one of them look like it washed up on the edge of the ocean. I like this asymmetric look.
I think that's the dress. No, I think obviously all women are beautiful, but this is a lot of breasts.
What we're saying here. You sound like an analyst.
What we're seeing here is a lot of breasts. This is amazing.
Now, this is something else. seeing here is a lot of breasts this is amazing now this is something else now that is a lot of breasts for someone how would you couldn't even see your kid if you're feeding you're like is he done good hugs oh yeah best hugs that's a wholesome response yeah she gives great hugs i can't believe i've never googled this before yeah Yeah.
I didn't know that either. That's 44 K double K 44 K.
That's the breast size. Okay.

So I think we put in 44,000. Wait, you get that for 44 K? No, that's L M and N.
She's in the N's.

Okay. Okay.
So I think we put in 44 K as the money and it took the computer took it as a breast size 44 K. Sure.
know they went to k's me neither and this she's in the ends yeah l m and n yeah that's i mean she's got more k's than uh joe musgrove during a good game brother she's that's a lot um anyway uh nice it's been five minutes yeah we went from the obby to boobs but it is nice to look you. It's been five minutes.
Yeah.

We went from the Aubrey to boobs.

But it is nice to look at something and also it's not pornography.

Yes, sir.

No, it's science.

It's strictly science.

It's just like my feet pick stuff.

Like just science.

Have you ever had an, you didn't even have an account on there?

What?

On feet finder, one of those?

No, but I was highly rated.

Oh, really?

I was like, I came in at like a four, four, eight.

People put you on there. Yeah.
Oh, eight. Wow.
like, I came in at like a 4.8. People put you on there?

Yeah.

Oh. 4.8.

Wow.

You have good feet?

That's what I hear.

Yeah, boy.

Well, I don't know about this one.

Wiki Feet Men.

What does it say on Wiki Feet Men?

Yeah, let's go to...

Actually...

It's a top one.

And I'm not going to say that I know this, but let's go to Wiki Feet Men.

Okay?

Yeah.

I mean, that's the only trusted source.

Yeah, go ahead.

Type me up.

Yeah, that guy was at manfoot.org.

Look at my rating.

Let me see it.

I got a 4.9.

I'm like 4.9 right now.

Is that what that says?

Dude, I'm coming in at a 4.9.

Are there any pics of the actual hoofs, though?

Yeah, they're in these.

Okay.

Check these out. Look at all the data.
This is data. Okay.
Ooh, there's a hoof. Oh, so you really are a barefoot little soldier.
I love it. It's the best.
People call it earthing. I just call it walking.
Postman gives you his dirty sock and draws you a tattoo. Oh, yeah.
POV.

And then you got Loke in the background.

I love how he's making sure this is okay.

Yeah, this is kosher.

Your bodyguards in the background are like, nobody.

Why am I smelling it?

Hey, look, dude.

What goes on at these shows?

That's the kind of behavior that you got to offer off to people.

Absolutely.

When you do your live shows, do you have a big ensemble?

Like what goes on?

What goes into your live shows?

Cause everybody kind of has different stuff,

you know?

Yes,

sir.

Yeah.

You know,

now we,

we started doing like a band a couple of years ago,

as opposed to just me.

But now we have,

now we brought cheese out,

play steel.

Oh,

Chandler from Ernest's band.

Yeah.

Ern is so sweet, and so is Cheese.

But Ern, you know, he's played with Ern forever.

He was just like, go, go, you know.

You had breakfast with him the other day.

They were so excited.

Sweet thing.

Both of them were so excited that he was going to play with you.

I was just like blown away.

Because Cheese, he's 21 years old.

You know what I mean?

And he's beautiful.

He's a stud.

I don't know. them were so excited that he was going to play with you i was just like blown away like because cheese is he's 21 years old you know what i mean and he's beautiful he's a stud absolutely i mean and also if all the men died or something he would immediately he'd become number one look at that one right there he'd be referred to as a woman smile oh god i mean it's like god if i didn't love these women so much.
What a handsome boy. I would just run over there and meet that guy.
But I love women. But yeah, no, that's amazing, dude.
Chandler Walters. Chandler Walters.
Yeah. Cheese.
Old cheese. Look at him.
And he's got a great energy, man. He's just the sweetest guy.
And he's a songwriter, too. I think he just had his first number one recently.
That's cheese, yeah. Yes, he did.
With a me i do mario oh it was with you yeah and morgan oh with uh i had some help yeah no i didn't even know that yeah because at breakfast the other day he said uh uh or ernest said yeah he just got his first number one and i was like and i don't know if we went into what it was dude that's awesome well yeah because he wrote and played some steel on it and And he's just a killer. He's like the best dude ever.

And I couldn't wish better things on him.

He's just an absolute stud.

And did you lose a member?

How does it even work that you bring another member in?

Yes, sir.

Yeah, so we had a band, and they were more rocking.

You know what I mean?

We had an awesome string section. we had awesome members all around um but we we had said that you know we want like you know fiddle playing and like guys on the b3 and all that stuff and um that was it was tough and you know it's awesome now like we're still gonna jam with that band whenever we do like I I want to do a whole other Nirvana deal, like do another Nirvana livestream and shit and do a bunch of cool shit.
You mean like play Nirvana? Yeah, like the one we did in COVID where we did all the Nirvana covers. It was so much fun.
I didn't see it. So I want to bring.
People said it was good. I can't speak.
I think you watch it watch it back and you're like oh i could have done way better but people said it was good you know uh dave said it was great courtney and uh chris and it was awesome it was a lot of fun uh if you're drunk or if you're just hanging out one of these nights um anyone out there you know give it a watch if you haven't Wow's incredible yeah so i guess if you're with um if you want to get more country at a country tuned artists yes sir yeah the steel you know steel and like there's a different way mandolin do you have any of that in it uh so lily she plays the fiddle she kind of does like these plucky things which is kind of mandolin-esque but no mando i love the mando like watch like band coming here and doing uh like band days where the all the session guys come in and just kill it

we got craig playing the bass he played bass on the whole album he came out on tour he's coming

out on tour nice so that'll be awesome that's so great bro yeah last night was amazing man i almost

felt bad you had to almost because there's so many stars in the building and you have to kind of,

oh, Craig Young?

Yes, sir.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Bass Player of the Year.

Bass Player of the Year.

Bass Player of the Year.

He was nominated for an ACM last year

for Bass Player of the Year.

That's amazing.

Killer.

There's so many great musicians here in Nashville.

You don't even realize it.

You know, you're walking down the street

and you're just like,

it's insane.

Somebody's incredible, damn.

Anywhere you go,

there is so much talent here in every crack and crevice and it's insane i can't like walking down yeah the street oh dude and you'll fall you'll hurt you'll fall over you'll sprain your ankle or something and somebody will pull out a violin and write a song about you dying right there and you're like it's never happened to me oh but i'm just saying it's that it's so musical here yeah anything happens you kiss your girlfriend on the cheek some guy pops up and he's like that's a song that's a song well that's that's the deal it's like you fucking you just go to losers yeah and someone will say that's why i want to hire not a writer i think this is a way we could could really um let's hear about this just get an old guy hire an old guy you don't got to pay him as a songwriter he's just knows all the one-liners and like he records what's going on everything he says no you just ask him a question he'll say something and you're like oh that's a song oh you know what i mean yeah someone wise like a gandalf figure yeah like that wouldn't sit piss like old guys always say something that's a song dude that wouldn't sit piss is that a thing i've heard i mean old people always say something you know like that dog wouldn't sit piss like what is that what what yeah but that's a song that's what we just go get uh a little hammered at losers and just talk. And that's how songs come about.
Someone will say something so dumb, but the melody was sick, and you're like, let's run with that. Just change that word, change from sit piss to shit piss, and then all of a sudden it's a hit.
You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, dude.
I know how hits work, brother. That's amazing, man.
Yeah, and Laney Wilson. Yeah, I think that was the strange thing.
It was like all these artists got up there, and it was so fast. It was like John Michael Montgomery, Laney Wilson, Brad Paisley, Vince Gill.
And then you played, I had some help by myself. And then, oh, your last song, you played Sunflower by yourself too.
But yeah, dude, it was great. There was all types of people in the audience.
It was special. It was so, like, it's electrifying.
It's so crazy standing in that circle. Like, it's just, I'm so honored.
I'm blown away. I can't even believe it, that they let me in.
I can't believe they let me in the building. Yeah.
You know what I mean? Oh, definitely, dude. I'm blown away.
I can't even believe it that they let me in. I can't believe they let me in the building.
You know what I mean? Oh, definitely, dude. I mean, yeah, because you got a unique look, you know? Oh, yeah.
Yeah. You look like a Christmas ornament that Jelly Roll would have, you know? Did I tell you? I didn't tell you.
I say that in a most loving way. Oh, absolutely.
I love it. I love it.
I was driving to the stadium and some dude was like Jelly Roll! I had the window open I was like what? Have you met Jelly? He's the best in the fucking world He's the best And he has so many feelings in him dude My favorite is when Jelly Roll wins an award he gets up there and's like, I want to say to everybody right now there's somebody out there who's got no arms and no legs living under a bridge and I want to tell you in two short months you can be winning a CMA award. And everybody's just bawling and crying.
He'd be a great WWE. Oh, he would? Oh, he just did WWE.
No, he not yes he did pull it up oh my god the jelly roll on him brother he put the double eclair on somebody that was his finishing move i think the double eclair or i think it was like the dirty um the double eclair he put something on somebody he put the fucking uh crispy bear claw on somebody i think yeah find out he's got randy orton just pull up a video if you can of jelly roll in the wwe oh my wrestling defeat dirty dom in the judgment day oh he'll put him in the dirty aquarium randy orton as a kid i never got but now i'm older and i'm like he's so cool man oh he's just, he's just ADHD. Yeah, he's cool, man.

There's Jelly right there.

What?

Yeah.

Look at the crowd going crazy, boy.

Damn, good.

That's a good push.

Jelly put it on him, boy.

He'll put him in that crispy wheelchair.

Jelly pour. Oof.
He's got a nice mullet too, that guy. Uh-oh.
Jelly roll and Norton. All right, move it forward some.
Yeah, I like that. Because it gets good, dude.
Does he get in the ring? Yeah. Oh, that's the Narcan Yam, I think.
Jelly roll fucking. Oh, I thought he hit the guy.
There was problem That's the double eclair Go to the Oh that's Jelly and MGK right there Look at that he's got the steel chair No shit There he is It's a lot of standing around waiting. Look at this.

Oh, there's a Miz too.

No.

Oh!

Oh, Jelly hit him with the never floss.

That was a fantasy of mine. With the dirty pan.

Really?

Jelly roll.

That's a fantasy hit by a chair by Jelly roll?

Yes.

Look at this.

This is where he puts him right here.

No way!

He put him in the fucking crispy glue. Yo! He put them in that glue close blender, homie.
Fucking crisp that baby boy. You got a lot of finisher names.
I'm just saying, dude. What's your finisher called? He put them in that fucking carb walrus, baby.
He fucking put it on him, dude. Jelly don't play, dude.
Yeah, man. Where's jelly from, dude? Ben? Oh, shit.
Yo, that's fire. Antioch, baby.
Yep. He hit him with that fucking Antioch injection right there.
That Antioch insulin, baby. Antioch annihilator.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's fire.

That's awesome.

What's your finisher?

My finisher would probably be the,

I would hold somebody down and cry directly into their eyes.

To be honest.

That's pretty good.

It would be very primordial. I think it would be be very like maybe there would be ancient poets that would enjoy it everybody else would be like or i just cry in their mouth till they drown that would be that's fire that's hard that's hard what about you man what do you think i don't know well yours was fucking awesome i don't know if it awesome, bro.
Well, I've always had a concept for a wrestler that doesn't touch anybody. He's just telepathic.
So I think my move would be like grab somebody by the neck from across the ring. Yeah.
And slam them back. And then a string pulls them up.
Exactly. Exactly.
See, but there's no wrestler that does that, I don't think. Not yet.
I think that, exactly. Well, they put me in the game.
In the WWE game? Yes, sir. No way.
Do you have a code to get you? I think I'm like five bucks. I don't know how much I am.
I'm worth about five bucks. No, dude, I heard that.
Look at this stud, dude. Bert and Ernie's $11, dude.

So that seems a little.

Wait, you could be Bert and Ernie?

Shania Twain is $7.

Wait, where are you getting?

I'm just saying.

Shania Twain would be a killer.

That's true.

Yeah.

Stomp, stomp.

If she gets to use that as her finishing move.

Oh, that's you right there. Can we see it again? Yeah, dude.
They put me up in the deal. Look at that.
Look at him. He's handsome.
Oh, he's very handsome, dude. Yeah, it was fun.
They made me buff. My overall is 69.
That's your overall? Yes, sir. All my stats are maxed out, but my overall still says 69.
Fair, fair, fair. Yeah.
It's pretty cool. I love that.
Were you a ladies' man when you were young or not? Absolutely not. Really? No, absolutely not.
Do you remember the first time you felt like a girl was interested in you? No. Yeah, I already had like a million bucks by that time.
Oh, you did? Oh. And I was like, oh, no shit.
This is how this works. Did you really feel that? Nah, yeah, man.
I remember I got stood up at Homecoming. All my crushes, it never worked out for me.
Really? I think that worked out for me in the long run. Right.
You know, because you could be a kid trying to get some cooch, but I was in my room playing the gatooch. Like, I'll show.
Yeah, so I'll get you one of these days. I'll show you.
And then the money came, and it was awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, that is funny. That's how this works.
It is kind of funny. Some of that is how it works.
It's like, yeah, if you don't feel some ambiance from women or if you don't feel like seen maybe in the world or something sure then you uh you're like well i have to make myself be seen more you know sure yeah you create more and that comes i guess like it's kind of a weird way of like i want to express myself more because so i become more introverted learning how to do that you know what i mean like so tell me a little bit more i'm hearing you but tell me more so like i wanted to make music right but the only way to make music is like to do it and so i just sat in my room with audacity and played the guitar and wrote songs and it's like i want people to hear my music but the way i do that is learn as much as i can by myself in my room and then present not talk exactly you know what I mean it's it's an interesting thing like taking the time to learn a skill or become an outlier I guess well I probably got 10,000 hours behind it but um you know it's an interesting thing yeah I think that's something that part of people don't maybe I don't know if they don't realize it but yeah there, there's a lot that goes into being good at something.

Yes, sir.

You know?

Or you could just be naturally talented.

Right.

Which, fuck those dudes.

Yeah.

You know?

Oh, dude.

If I saw six of those dudes, dude, I'd fucking beat their six.

Beat them all?

I'd beat all six of them.

That's what I'd do.

What if they're naturally talented at fighting?

Oh, God. That's going to be a long day.
Even worse. Even worse.
Yeah. I'd call the cops, dude, and the cops would never come.
But still, I would have called them. You know what I'm saying? But I'll never say, hey, I'm going to call the cops because that would end up on TikTok, right? Theo Vaughn calls cops on six naturally gifted fighters.
So I would just be like, hey, hold on. Let me check in with a friend of mine i think they're not feeling well today so i would pretend low-key i'd be like help cops all right i'm ready to go because you can text 911 can you 100 can you send them feet pics i hate going back to this i hate doing well i hate going back to it but it's just where the gut this is where my mind goes oh dude you can text Dude, you can text 911.
I was at the Dustin Poirier-Max Holloway fight, and I remember texting 911. I'd never done it before.
I was like, Oh, I said, dear God, two men are beating the shit out of each other in Atlanta. That's a waste of resources, Theo Varn.
And they wrote back, I'm not even joking, what's good? No, they did not. I swear to, no, they did not.
It said, what's good, ATL Felicia. No, they did not.
Yeah, and it also, and they had a music, they put a musical gif with it, and it was Andre 3000 singing something. Sorry, Miss Jackson, I think.
And I'm like, dear God, dude. That's not true.
That's a lie. The text isn't.
They did not say what's good. They did.
Okay. What's good slime.
Okay. So they didn't say, I don't remember what they said, but they did accept the text.
And, um, but yeah, you can text 911. All right.
I know what I'm doing tonight. It's important to know, man.
I didn't know that. You just text 911? Yeah.
That's it. Yeah, you can text them like, hey, I need some help or something.
And then I guess they probably hopefully would have the location. I don't know if that helps or not.
Well, I guess it makes sense, right? Because if you're in a situation where it's almost like a blink twice if you need help type deal, you'd be like, oh, I'm going to. Because you about a lady saying like she was getting abused in in her home and she was like he was like order a pizza or whatever and she like texted 911 and called like or called it and was like disguised the call for distress as like ordering a pizza or something like i need hey i a medium pepperoni.
I need four strong pepperonis.

I've made that call before.

Put a gun and a bayonet on each one, please.

Of the pepperoni.

If those pies have gone through

boot camp,

that would be great as well.

Do the pies carry Glocks?

I'd like to know.

This is Glockenspiel's pizza.

Is this true?

Is this,

did I make this up or no?

Yeah, see?

That's the story.

Let's see it.

Let's see it, see that's the story. Let's see it Let's see it Benny boy Luckily for an Ohio woman her 9-1-1 dispatcher was listening very carefully Michaela Marshall has the story You called 9-1-1 to order a pizza at...
You called 911 to order a pizza? Uh, yeah. Apartment...
This is the wrong number to call for a pizza. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You're not. I'm getting you now.
In his 14 years of service, this is a call Oregon Dispatch. Yeah, what a stud.
What a stud for picking it up. I'm surprised he stayed on that long, right? I'd like to order a pizza.
Well, you know, probably get banged on, right? You know, he's a stud. Yeah.
I need a large pizza. Two large pizzas.
Medical? No. Or pepperoni.
It's so good. It's like fucking so slick.
Yeah, it's killer. But it makes sense to text 911.
It does make sense now that I think about it. And it's good for people to know, man.
I think a lot of people probably don't know that. And so, yeah, I think this is a neat way for people to know.
Dude, it's God's word. Good job.
I don't know about that. Fuck, dude.
Yeah. We're helping people a little today.
This episode is sponsored by PrizePix. That's right.
Do you love firing on sports? Well, PrizePix is the best daily fantasy sports app for you. Sign up today and get $50 instantly when you play $5.
You don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus. It's guaranteed.
You can fire on all your favorite sports like the NBA, MMA, NFL, college football, and many more. Instead of choosing teams, you choose individual players.
That's what I love about prize picks. Each player has like a set projection, and you either choose more or less than that set projection.
One Caleb Williams passing yard gets you one win on prize picks every week in September. That's right.
Only one yard gets you an automatic win every football weekend in September. Four weeks of free W's.
So don't miss this deal on PrizePix because it's gone when September ends. If you're smart with sports and you know what players are going to perform on what nights, then PrizePix is the app for you.
First time users, download the PrizePix app, use code Theo and PrizePix will instantly give you $50 on your first lineup of $5 or more. No strings attached.
Put in $5 and instantly get a free $50. PrizePix.
Today's podcast is sponsored by Boot Barn, America's largest Western retailer supporting the cowboy and country lifestyles. I wore my Boot Barn boots in today's episode.
Boot Barn opened their first store in 1978, and today they have over 400 stores nationwide located throughout 48 states and they open a new store a week across the United States. Today I had on those Cody James Black 1978 bad boys son them beautiful hoof covers baby exotic leather crafted by 90 boot artisans with premium exotic skin.
Renowned for its durability and unique texture. Indeed, if you want those Cody James Black 1978 boots I was sporting, they are only available at Boot Barn.
Visit bootbarn.com and use code THEO for 15% off one item through September 30th. That's bootbarn.com, code Theo.
Hey, fellas, if you're like me and some women as well, if you're like me and you want your grooming to be a one and done deal, if you want to de-hair or organize your head hair and body hair, well, doing it all with the same tremor, nah-uh. Those days are over.
Thankfully, Manscaped has come up with the ultimate package to keep your hairs trimmed from 12 to 6, baby, top to bottom. Introducing the Beard and Balls Bundle featuring the Lawn Mower 5.0 and the Beard Hedger.
Get 20% off and free shipping with the code Theo at manscaped.com. That's 20% off and free shipping with the code Theo at manscaped.com for the premium grooming experience, you should trust Manscaped and say goodbye to endless passes with your shaver or razor.
This trimmer gets it done right the first time. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code Theo at manscaped.com.
That's 20% off and free shipping with the code T-H-E-O at manscaped.com no more juggling multiple tools or dealing with subpar results just efficient effective grooming wherever you need so you're going out on tour with the new album right wow and do you feel like are you going to all the same markets I think so I go where they tell me. Right.
International as well? Probably afterwards. Yes, sir.
Yeah. Yeah.
Tour is a lot of fun. It's just, you know, I got my two-year-old now and it's hard being away from home for months, but I love playing music and seeing people sing these songs.
It's so cool, man. You never know if that's like their one thing of the year, you know, and that's why I like, I've only missed a handful of shows, and that kind of drives me nuts when artists miss shows, you know? And I know there's reasons oftentimes, but it's like this could be their one thing of the year.
And I just want to go and kick ass for people who they're willing to spend their hard-earned fucking money to come and see this piece of shit yeah so i'm like i want to

bust my ass for everyone so i'm so i'm pumped man i'm ready to go and who's going to be on the tour with you do you know will it change what is that like that's a great question openers right now we're figuring it out you're figuring that's the way it goes it's is it what's the process just finding who's right you you know? And I'm terrible. I'm much, I'm a procrastinator.
So like, I wait till the last minute to do things, which was the definition of procrastinator. I didn't need to say that last part.
Some people didn't know. Some people are like, damn, he's a procrastinator.
What? That's procrastinator. What does that mean? He's been to space? That's five syllables.
Well, I didn't know you could do that. Some people think, yeah, like, what do you think? Oh, he's a procrastinator? He dates men mean he's been to space that's five syllables well i didn't know you could do that some people think yeah like what do you know he's a procrastinate he dates men like what does it mean yeah i think some people don't know dude he eats mud i think yeah no i'm glad you sounded it out yeah i had to absolutely um yeah but every school project it was the night before dude's saying yeah yeah so that's it's like a school project kind of for me and i and there's so many great options and that's why i just want you know i that's my excuse there's so many great options is uh i just want to make it right you know yeah and will you yeah will you change them up do you think you can alternate some of them yeah that's what we were kind of thinking of is having like that's a great idea either like local acts start which i love i love doing that and then um you know either like take it in like quadrants or quarters you know and um have you know different artists who are available come out and open up and i think that's fun you know and that kind of encourages people if they want to if they love that person to come to a show even if they don't like me and maybe then they will you know what i mean it's just like you know i just want people to have a great time you know and just come out and have fun so it feels like that man i felt like that last night like a lot of your energy is very like gratuitous you're like just thanking people for coming and you know you feel a lot of like um indebted almost in a way absolutely i there is so it's no it's not like i don't know that's negative yes sir but um you can feel like oh this guy he really it he feels that we're here yes and that we've come to see him yeah that's like um for me, I know there's so many much more talented people.
Like, fuck those naturally talented people that are just so awesome at everything. You know, Justin Bieber, I'm talking about.
Yeah, I'll name him right now. Justin Bieber, John Mayer.
Sure. Ric Flair.
Okay. Okay.
Lil Debbie. Okay, yeah, absolutely.
That cake bitch. People call her on Reddit and I didn't say it.
And who else? Probably. Oh.
Count of three. Jesus Christ.
Oh, damn, dude. Close.
Same. We'll add them both.
Fuck Paddington Bear. Okay, so Paddington's out.
I love all of you, by the way. I'm just fucking around.
I'm just fucking around. Paddington's a fictional character.
Jesus isn't. We'll put him in there.
Beebs is very much real, though. Yeah, Beebs is real.
And Ric Lair. I love both of you so much.
But, yeah, you know, it's like people could be anywhere in the world. it is true oh and it is true and they spent their time hanging with me and that means the fucking world to me you know what i mean oh that's what feels the toughest sometimes when you have a show that's kind of you didn't feel like oh it maybe didn't and sometimes it's the acoustics or sometimes it's the way that the venue is shaped it's like you you don't even know.
That's the toughest thing sometimes. Yeah.

You know, like you're playing in a hockey rink, and you're like,

well, this is not even built for this.

Right.

We're trying to make it this.

We're all doing our best.

And maybe you just feel like, what if they don't know that, you know?

Right.

I don't know.

And at rehearsals, too, I didn't realize how steep it was.

It's so steep going up.

Where at?

Like at the Opry.

Oh.

It's just like there's people all the way up here.

And at rehearsals, I didn't even see that because that wasn't lit.

My God.

But maybe it was lit and I just wasn't paying attention.

Yeah, maybe you were lit.

But I came in and – yeah, absolutely.

Well, absolutely.

That's a given.

But I walked out and I was like, oh, shit, there's a lot of folks here.

This is crazy.

I think it seats 5,000 people.

It's so cool.

It's so cool, man.

It was magical, man. We sat next to, there was a Japanese family, and I'm paraphrasing because they may or may not have been Japanese, but they were near Japan or semi-near.
Okay. And they were enjoying, it was unbelievable.
I was like, wow, I'm at the Grand Ole Opry, and I'm with a Japanese family enjoying Post Malone. It was awesome.
It's pretty cool. You can't write it.
It felt good. Yeah.
Yeah. What's your kiddo like? I don't know if I.
She's a stud. Oh, it's a baby.
It's a girl. Oh, sweet.
She's a stud. She was there last night.
She was? You saw her. She's about 6'4".
Oh, dang. Just massive.
She might have dunked on you. That's her thing.
She loves dunking on you. Really? That's a big deal? She's like, she's probably two feet tall.
Oh, yeah. She's so cool, man.
Like, it changes everything. It's so bitchin' to have a baby.
Were you there when she was born? I pulled her out of the coochie. No, you didn't.
Yeah, I did. They let me bring my katana in.
What kind of shoes did you wear? Closed-toed, obviously. I know this to anybody.
Closed-toed shoes. I think that's what God wanted.
Yeah, you have to. Well, it's like science class, because you're figuring this shit out.
It's like, whenever you had an Erlenmeyer flask or whatever, you're like, I don't fucking know what the hell's going on. Closed- close toed shoes no flammable clothing and hair tied back you know anybody that wears open toe shoes to their child's birth is obviously first of all a jimmy buffett fan well fuck yeah well that's the one exception i think jimmy buffett could wear thongs to the child's birth i I think.
Well, what are you supposed to wear?

I don't know what you're supposed to wear.

It makes sense to wear like a suit, right?

It makes sense to dress up.

Yeah, like him.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Living on umbilical fluid.

I like fucking, yeah.

Living on a pop top.

That guy's crazy.

It makes sense also.

It'd be cool to prank the shit out of your kid. Doesn't know anything and just wear full camo.
Balaclava, everything, just full real tree or fucking multicam, anything. And she can't see you.
Oh, she's thinking she's floating. Yeah.
And everyone else does too. And then years later, there's a game show.
It's a big reveal. Exactly.
Or or yeah you wear camo your whole life yeah oh yes and then it's like who is my father whoop there he is my dad or she picks willie from duck dynasty and you're like cool yeah cool well fuck i wish willie from no i don't i love my dad so much but if i had two dads it would be willie and my dad and willie robertson is so funny What a stud, cool. Fuck, I wish Willie broke.
No, I don't. I love my dad so much.
But if I had two dads, it would be Willie and my dad. And Willie Robertson is so funny, dude.
What a stud, man. Bro, he's one of the funniest guys to be in.
Yeah, and Si. Uncle Si was a gangster, dude.
Yeah, boy. Uncle Si was a savage, dude.
Dude, I love that. Savage, dude.
I love that, man. I forgot about that show.
A lot of people have. That show was huge huge so crazy good for them we're doing

duck calls people were um yeah what's it like i don't have any children yet i want to have some children i think but i just got to get a wife and stuff and i just been working so much um was it hard to make the choice to have a child no i've been horny for a long time I've always wanted to be a dad.

And for a long time. Yeah.

I've always wanted to be a dad.

And for a long time, I always told myself, like, when I was younger and going through shit, like, you know, coming up when I was, like, 20, 21, 22 and all that, I was like, oh, I need a kid. But that was to, like, for a selfish reason.

It was to feel something that I felt like I was like, oh, I need a kid. But that was to like, it's for a selfish reason.
It was to fill something that I felt like I was missing. But at one point I was like, I want to create a fucking awesome life and create life.
And whenever I realized that it wasn't for a selfish reason, then I was like, let's fucking do it. And then I made a baby with my jizz.
And it's fucking awesome. It's cool.
Is it? It's so cool. Like, oh, I was saying, I pulled her right out.
No way you didn't. By the head.
I did. I got gloved up.
And they let you do it? There's not somebody there? Is there a lifeguard or something? Well, I don't know. My doctor was such a baller.
He was? I don't know if it's got to be. Would you meet him on the app or whatever? Yeah.
Well, she was. What app? I don't know.
I'm just joking. The app.
It sounds like my doctor was such a baller. I'm like, where did you guys meet? I met her on WikiFeet, actually.
She had a 4.8, and I was like, this is good enough. Oh, my bad, man.
But you couldn't see it because the shoe rule the closed toe you have to get wear open toe shoes but um she was like sorry I'm joking too much at one time she looked at me and she goes scrub up and I'm like uh what and fucking I did and then I grabbed her head and I pulled her out and how and so and so I'm trying to equate the, like how hard did it feel like it had pulled tough or was easy? You got to pull hard, scary hard because babies are really floppy, you know, floppy and malleable. Yeah.
Pure gold. One of the most malleable metals.
You can make gold out of anything I've heard. Is that true? I don't know.
I heard that on Joe Rog that what he said no i remember you and him talking about that actually it's so crazy that hit my head what did i say i don't remember what happened i just remember yeah you guys were joking around about it it makes sense yeah it's perfect well i did make gold out of anything if you call jizz anything am i right and if you call your daughter gold exactly that's what i call him that's her name that's awesome yeah and she's like scrub up pull her out pull the hard because you're scared you don't want to break them and especially that's the thing and where do you pull do you pull from under the arms do you right on the head at first no like one of those crazy uh car car car practice you see those guys oh my god you see that it's like a Kombat fatality. I'm like, no way you pay to get fatality by this fucking dude.
And fucking Encino. Have you seen Brother Neck Magic? I don't think I'd like to.
Can you pull up some Brother Neck Magic? Pull up some Brother Neck Magic if you can real quick. There you go.
Let's see that. It might be it.
Crazy chiropractic. It sounds like a fucking mixtape from the crazy chiropractic neck pain injector.
This is fire. Dude, how there isn't slide on this.
When does he pull her spine out? Like with her skull attached. This lady's never going to be able to read again, dude.
Fuck, she's dead. I saw that.
Do the one where they put the wakeboarding rope up to the neck or whatever. That's the crazy one, dude.
And I think they do that down in Orlando during the wakeboarding championships or whatever. Yeah, deep wide strap adjustment.
Bro, you've been involved in this? If your kid ends up doing this, that's going to be full circle, bro. Yeah, get to the big pull at the end where they pull.
Look at that. Yeah, where the lady tells all her secrets right after Sorry lay your head back down You have like cowboy Chiropractors just rope you and fucking and then you're like alright.
You're good. Go home This is insane Okay, obviously so you didn't use this use the hands, huh use huh? I used my bare hands with gloves Nitrile gloves, I think they were 5mm Did I okay? Okay, so we'll do our 30 second hold We'll let you relax We'll do our 30 second hold and then we'll do our tug Yeah, there you go, get up to there Yeah, that mustard plate's,, dude.
It's a lot. More pops.
Why? So when you get around, what do you guys do then? Who gets... Is your...
And is the mom awake during this? Yes, sir. Okay.
She is... She's full awake.
She's not on her phone or anything, is she? Dude, she's on Clash of Clans. So I can, like, get this shit out of me.
Sorry, man. One day your daughter's going to watch it.
She's like, that guy was an asshole. What do a mechanic and an auto shop owner in Georgia, a taco restaurant operator in Arizona, and a life-saving medical innovator in Tennessee have in common? They're all small business owners, and they're all thriving on TikTok.
Across the U.S., over 7.5 million businesses, from family-owned shops to entrepreneurs, are using TikTok to compete and grow. In fact, 74% of businesses on TikTok say TikTok has allowed them to scale their operations, increasing sales and expanding to new locations.

And that growth means jobs.

Today, there are over 7.5 million U.S. businesses on TikTok employing more than 28 million people.

And that number keeps growing.

Small businesses thrive on TikTok.

Learn more about TikTok's contribution to the U.S. economy at tiktokeconomicimpact.com.
I need to know, have you ever found any subscriptions that you were still paying for and you didn't realize it? I got involved with the online chili thing and they would send you chili every month and I moved out of that place and forgot and they was still just sending chili to that to the old address. Thankfully I located that old subscription and was able to shut it down.
Rocket Money is how I did it. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings.
With Rocket Money, I can see all my subscriptions in one place. And if I see something I don't want, Rocket Money can help me cancel it with a few taps.
That easy. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's features.
Stop wasting money on things you don't use like unwanted chili. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions

by going to rocketmoney.com slash T-H-E-O. That's rocketmoney.com slash Theo.

Rocketmoney.com slash Theo. Today's episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
If you've had

trouble in your life, maybe you're having trouble associating with your family, you're having trouble associating with yourself, if you're having trouble meeting someone, or if you're having trouble, things have changed, they were good, now they're rough, BetterHelp can help. That's true.
If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online.
It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional cost.
And I recommend that. A lot of times I would have a therapist on BetterHelp or just in therapy I found locally and I'd be afraid to switch therapists.
I was just afraid. I didn't want to let them down.
It's not about letting them down. It's about building building you up never skip a therapy day with better help visit betterhelp.com slash t-h-e-o today to get 10 off your first month that's better h-e-l-p betterhelp.com slash theo and we thank better help help for supporting and sponsoring this podcast.
Yeah, man. I know I've been to a chiropractor and I always tell him, don't touch me right when I get there.
That's the first thing you say. So you do not have consent to touch me.
That's the thing. And then it's kind of like the WWE guy, the telekinetic.
Oh yeah. You don't have consent.
Well, I'll show you. Well, you don't have to touch them.
Yeah. you can just fucking like, that's kind of like the WWE guy.
The telekinetic. Oh, yeah.
That'll be your thing.

You don't have consent.

Well, I'll show you.

Well, you don't have to touch them.

Yeah, you can just fucking like, that's kind of a thing.

Yeah.

I'm surprised no one's done it yet.

It'll happen soon, man.

Well, it's like Reiki.

What do they call that stuff?

Reiki?

Yeah, that energy healing.

Like if you go to Maui, people offer that.

Everybody does it.

I haven't tried it.

Have you tried it?

People are like, I'll do Reiki.

I'll sell you dope.

There's like. Just the dude by the beach.'ll do reiki i'll sell you dope there's like

there's a just a dude by the beach he's like i'll sell you a bracelet weed and do some reiki on you right now you're like he's like for 40 bucks fuck the pack 40 large yeah 40 large homie you're like i mean for 44 000 yeah i mean think of all the Reiki. Yeah, it'd be a lot of Reiki, dude.
You're single, I mean, for $44,000. Yeah, I mean, think of all the Reiki you could get.

Yeah, that'd be a lot of Reiki, dude.

Your single with Morgan already went.

It's to the moon, dude.

When you sang that last night.

I had some.

It's a lot of words.

People loved it.

How long did it take to shoot the video?

Where did you guys shoot that at?

We shot that in a day near Stagecoach. So we were doing stagecoach the um the day after i think and morgan had some time and we had time and we just got together and i think the last time that flag was used was like at joe biden's inauguration no way that's what they were saying the flag was huge huge.
I've never seen anything like it. It was dope.
Some of those shots, you can see the flag. It was cool.
It was really cool. Very cool.
Morgan's so funny, dude. He's amazing.
Who wrote the song? Did you guys write it together or did you guys? Yeah, we wrote it together. We cut another song too.
I think I did. I think I remember doing a verse.
It was one of those long nights, but that song's awesome too. Is it out yet or no? No, sir.
Okay. I don't know if he's going to do anything with it, but the song, I remember it being awesome.
Also, I was having a lot of fun. Yeah.
But yeah, we were just all together and Cheese was there and Vern, and it was just killer. I love writing songs.
Yeah. With my buddies.
And that's like you go and you look at the writers on each of these songs on the record is because it's not like there's a lot of motherfuckers on every song and because like i've never been here i don't know like before actually before months ago yes sir yeah before like six seven months ago like i'd never worked here and um I didn't know it was like a nine to five kind of deal but we would go to the studio at like seven p.m and stay till like four in the morning and we would all just hang out and have some beers and smoke and laugh and that's I think like like I said earlier you know that's just how songs get made you're like oh that's a Let's build around it. And then someone comes in with the next line, and you're like, oh, that's fucking killing.
And you just keep going, and it snowballs into a song. I knew during the pandemic, I remember telling people like, hey, Morgan is the next Elvis Presley.
Do you guys realize he had a trainer, and one of his trainers is now also works security with him yes sir and so uh we would go train with the guy and he and i would go out on i think it was like 17th or 18th street in nashville and be doing like reps out there and like walking up hills with the weights and stuff and it was like now he could never do that oh yeah but then we'd be out there just doing our reps and stuff like that. It was me, him, sometimes Earn.
And yeah, it was just magnificent. You didn't bring Earn out a whole bunch, huh? I mean, Earn came out sparingly, but he came out, brother.
Love you. Yeah.
Earn came out sparingly, but he came out. And yeah, and I was like, dude, I was like, I remember telling remember telling my friends like he's the next elvis presley do you think he's the bet that he'll be go down as like the greatest country artist of all time i have a little bias i love hink senior he hink senior for me will always be my favorite hink and johnny And he's definitely the most massive.
It's just unprecedented. You know what I mean? And he has such a great heart.
He gets in a little trouble. He's got such a great heart, man.
And I love that dude to death. And I don't think that he won't be the biggest artist of all time, maybe.
You know what I mean? Right. The biggest artist of all time.
It's fucking insane. It really is insane.
Yeah. I mean, every one of his, so many of the songs are, the craziest thing about Morgan, I'll be around Morgan and I'll just start singing one of his songs because it's stuck in my head.
It sucks. And then you feel like a weirdo.
But then you're like, oh, I can't sing that song. And you'll sing another one.
What you got to do is change the lyrics and then tell him you wrote it. And then he might use it.
And then. Oh, I see what you're saying.
Yeah. And then you get songwriting credits.
You know what I mean? Look at that shit, man. Morgan Wallen matches Adele and Elvis with another week at number one.
And what does that mean when say they match this is an article here in Forbes Morgan Wallen leads the Billboard 200 charts this week with his blockbuster release one thing at a time as the country star earns another turn at number one his set joins an exclusive club and helps the singer match an impressive feat that's only been managed by a handful of the biggest names in music history it's insane it's insane no it. No, it's bigger.
It's bigger than fucking life. Like in Australia, even in Australia and UK, everything.
It's insane. Yeah.
I think he has his trial for throwing that thing off the building or whatever. What's that? What thing? Yeah.
We don't have to get into it. I hear there's a sign now.
Oh, that says about the chair. Yeah.
It's like, don't even try it. You're not Morgan or something.
That's what I heard. Really? Yeah.
That's what I heard. That there's a sign that says, don't throw anything off this building.
You're not Morgan. Verbatim is what I heard.
I haven't seen it. I haven't been into Eric's bar.
I'm trying to think what I would throw off a building, dude. You know, Oh dude, you know what I've thrown off a building.
I would throw a replica of the building off the building. So that's fire.
Cause if somebody's like, hey, I just got hit by that building, and then the officer would be like, what are you talking about? They'd be like, yeah, I just got hit by a really small building of that building. And the officer would be like, you're going to jail.
You're on drugs. To the other officer? Yeah.
Yeah, cool. Like I said, there's a random stranger walking down the street, and I throw a replica of a state capitol.
I state capital i'm up there at the top 200 stories up i throw that bitch off and it's a replica of the building that i'm in okay it hits somebody like oh shit dude drop my fucking five guys you know and they tell the police hey somebody just threw that building at me now there's a couple things that you can't get in trouble for throwing off of a building. What? If it's a brick building, bricks.
Yeah. Because you'd be like, oh, it's going down.
It's falling. Or it's just age, you know? And also bird shit.
You can throw as much bird shit off of a building as you want. Because who's going to prove it that you did it? Who's going to prove that you did it? Oh, you saying I'm a bird? Oh, you saying I'm throwing bird shit on people down there? Prove it.
What about the birds? Exactly. What's another thing you could throw off the roof of a building? Oh, a little meteor.
Yeah, a little meteor rock. A piece of gibbous meteor.
Yeah, a little meteor, dude. He's just throwing pieces of a meteor off the roof.
Whatever, man. Free Morgan, dude.
Nobody got hit, baby. Free Morgan, man.
That's all I'm saying, dude. Dude, did you ever get to meet like Elvis Prass or anything like that? Yep.
Did you really? No born 1995 oh and when was elvis that's a good question yeah have you been to graceland it's amazing i jumped in the pool what why though you let me no uh was it after hours or something it was for i think uh a new's thing and he died 77.

You're way off the OVON.

My bad dude.

My bad.

What's crazy?

Yeah but like

we did that

deal I played Devil in Disguise

and they let me jump in the pool.

Wow. It was amazing.

I love Elvis Presley.

It was so cool. It's now or never.
Yeah, it's Christmas stuff, man. Dude, the craziest thing about Graceland, I didn't know he's buried there.
I didn't know that either. So we're going on the tour and we're like, this is a lamp and stuff.
This is where Elvis used to hug his wife and kiss his mama. You had a tour guide this guy he's a pervert he said kiss his mouth off 40 times in a row like like what was his name like huh what was his name i think his name it was like kind of like this it was like a red redneck sort of Native American.
I think his name was like Featherbed or something. And he was like, and he was like, hee hee.
And I'm like, what did he, and people, and there's some old women that are like, and I'm like, and he's like, hee hee. And I'm like, why is that guy's lips all wet? What's up with this dude, right? And there's no manager there.
You're just stuck with whoever the tour guide is, dude, you know? He wasn't even a guy. He was just a guy.
He just came. Oh, feather man.
But then we get out the back, and if you guys want to go smoke, you can go out there. So there's people out there, and I'm vaping, and his grave is right.
I'm like, wait, he's buried here. I did not know that.
Yeah, it blew my mind. I didn't know that, yeah.
It's a beautiful, beautiful place. And it's like crazy.
They say, I didn't get to go up in the room. It was late.
But they say nothing's been touched in the room, in his bedroom. and like his slippers are still there and everything

like that crazy the museum part of it like where you can go in and see like the books he was reading and everything like that like the jfk assassination book that he was reading like that's the last book he was reading like crazy yeah it's pretty cool so he's kind of a conspiracy guy Yeah, you think?

Maybe.

Maybe that's pretty cool. So he's kind of a conspiracy guy.
Yeah, you think? Maybe. Maybe that's the conspiracy itself.
Maybe there is no conspiracy. He'd like to kiss his mama.
He did like to kiss his mama. Like, hey, I, we understand.
There's like a tour group of four people like, what's up with this dude like feather bed he sounds cool yeah um what was your mom like dude is your mom a cool lady because you have a stepmom right yes sir and do you have a real mom too yes sir yeah because some people i don't know if some people are adopted i don't know if you had a real mom yes. Yes, sir.
Yeah. My mom's name's Nicole.
Oh, that's a nice name. It's a lovely name.
It's my mom's name. Stepmom's name is Jody.
Oh, that's a nice name, too. Thank you.
It's my stepmom's name. My mom's name is Gina.
It's a beautiful name. You know what name I like? Emmy Lou.
I think that's a pretty name. No? Yeah.
You don't like it? No, I did. I liked it.
At first I was like, but then I was like, yeah, Emmylou. I like it.
What name do you like for your daughter? I kind of like Moira. Moira's a beautiful name.
That's a Magic the Gathering name. Is it really? You play Magic the Gathering?

No, no, no.

We play, what do we play?

Sometimes gin, rummy, or whatever.

But we never done anything.

We've never gotten crazy with that.

One time my uncle was on weed or whatever we played.

That was about as Magic the Gathering as we got.

So it's more just gin.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just not as much rummy.

Yeah.

A lot of gin.

Yeah.

My ex-girlfriend Megan, me and her family used to play some sort of rummy. You like the name Megan? I do like the name Megan, actually.
It's a little aggressive. Yeah.
But I think sometimes women might need aggression, you know? Sure. So I think, yeah, I like Moira, Megan.
I like Moira. You like M stuff.
Amy Lou's good, though. That's M, essentially.
Amy Lou seems to sound like she's going to be the rogue agent of those three. Yeah, she sounds like a hard ass.
Yeah, Amy Lou's going to be getting bored. I thought about that last night.
I also like the name Llewellyn. Sounds like an elf name.
Like an elf? From Lord of the Rings. Okay.
Right? Yeah. You could imagine, like, Aragon going to meet with Llewellyn.
Llewellyn. Well, that's like no country for old men.
Maybe at a loves truck stop. I think I can imagine.
When Aragon goes to the loves. Aragon at the Mapco is.
He's got to pick up some fucking sick shades

he just goes to the battle of twin towers

it just says fucking

he's got a t-shirt that says get your motor running on it

he's got a big peter belt fucking

goes fucks up some orcs dude killer

I love that

we're talking about moms

I don't know how that happened

Thank you. a big peterbilt fucking like goes fucks up some orcs dude killer i love that we're talking about moms i don't know how that happened i was just curious i didn't know like yeah i was just i guess i was just wondering where do you get your influence to be um like i think when i was a kid i always wanted my mom to see me you know and so it made me like want to um i think even at the time if i wasn't like like, I remember my mom, sometimes like if we, if we were, had misbehaved, we'd have to go downstairs and perform for my mom so we could get out of punishment.
Right. And I think a lot of kids have had to do that.
I think, or it's not, it wasn't like a set thing, but it was like, we try to be like, all right, we gotta, we gotta do something for mom. Mom's smart.
She's hardworking. Let's don't waste her time.
Let's make 120 second-second play. You know what I'm saying? It's like Shark Tank.
It's Shakespeare meets Reservoir Dogs. We're going to go in there, and my two little sisters are like, what's happening? And I'm like, shut up.
Memorize your minds and get the fuck in there, dude, and put the bra on, dude. And they're like, we're children.
And I'm like, it doesn't matter.

Huh?

Who's putting the bra on? It doesn't matter, dude.

The rules are the rules.

And so we would go in there and we would try to make the play.

And I would try to be the director and one of the actors.

And it was just a nightmare or whatever.

But sometimes my mom would have so much fun out of it that she would be like, okay, I'll let you watch TV for half an hour.

Or you wouldn't get in trouble.

Yeah.

Right.

It would be excused. Or sometimes she would say, you guys are the fucking.
She's like, this is why I don't go see shows in this area, and you guys need to go to bed. You know.
But that was fair because we were already in trouble. What was your biggest hit, you think? We did this sort of like, it was kind of like Boy Meets World, kind of like a Paw Patrol mashup, right? Okay.
And it was, some people would say it's nothing. Whatever.
We thought so much of it. We thought so much of it.
And one of the animals got fleas. We had a small Dalmatian that got fleas, played by my sister.
And she dies right in the first 40 seconds and then the last 120 seconds is there's a mourning and a small wedding okay it's small like a small family and friends type yeah it was not like nothing big right it to go from death to fucking yeah life well essentially you know like the creation of life yes and so stuff like that yeah so i think was some things my mom appreciated about it. But yeah, I was just wondering, like, what was your, like, did you get, like, where do you get your idea that you wanted to be seen in the world, you know? And maybe that never happened to you.
Maybe you're just having fun and you're like, I'm having fun. Well, whenever she let me out of, we had a little, like, two by two kind of room.
it had all these locks on it so whenever she sent me a piece of cheese with a post-it note that said come on out I want to hang out I was like so pumped you can believe how pumped I was oh I can imagine oh and that fucking craft single a raw craft single with a post-it on the front says come out and i was so pumped no you know i don't know she's always loved me so much all my parents have and i'm so you know lucky to have such supportive parents and um you know it's awesome too they got me into music like my mom and my grandma. My grandma would be flipping out, seeing me play the fucking Opry.
And my dad, he was a wedding DJ, and he loved metal and hip-hop and all that. It's just everything together gave me the appreciation of just music in general.
Like, you know, I'm a believer that, you know it doesn't everything doesn't need to be super pigeonholed there's fucking beauty and love in every piece of music and that's why you listen to fucking everything and that's the best part about it you know it's just you know oh i feel like fucking this today i feel like this today you know and it's the best you know I think that's the best thing about being your own DJ is you get to like, I want to play this, I want to play this, and I'm going to play this. That's what I feel like you are in a lot of ways, in some ways, and I don't mean that in any weird way, but I feel like you're not America's DJ, but you're like.
That's cool. That's cool.
Say that. You're America's DJ in a weird way.
Yeah. I mean, you're born on the 4th of July.
That's true. That's true.
I mean, what else are we asking for, guys? What the hell's going on? I'm America's DJ. But it's like, I think people find so much joy through you.
Does that feel like a lot of pressure? Because everybody loves you. Not necessarily true.
That's true. true you're right maybe that's a weird question

man i'm sorry to say that's kind of weird what's that um no not at all that dude but people i don't know i think people relate to you for some reason and i don't even know if it's always because of music yeah it's just dude i think people relate to somebody trying to be themselves.

Yes, sir.

And find themselves through a medium.

Yes, sir. And find themselves through a medium.
Yes, sir. Whether it be music or art or dance or affection.
I don't know. I guess some of it is judgment.
I don't mean it that way. I think it's more me trying to explore you because I think that it's an interesting thing.
Well, no, it's just like I think people appreciate and can relate to being yourself. And that's what everyone wants to do.
It's hard for us. It is hard.
It's terrible now. You know, it's like there's so many societal pressures i don't know and then with the with the pickup of social media and how it just moves at a hundred miles a minute we talked about this a little bit earlier but it's just a hundred miles a minute and you can't like you don't have time to even if you this is who you are you're gonna I feel the pressure to go with the next thing you know what I mean it's like I that's how I feel bad like for some of these kids that are just you know super immersed in social media and because it's a crazy fucking place.
Yeah. And I'm having this like debate with myself.

It's like oh like when do i let my daughter have a account and shit and even less like a like a uh smartphone you know what i mean i'm happy with her running around with one of those like what are they called like ladybug phones or whatever that has like your mom's number your dad's number all this shit yeah i think it's a t-mobile sidekick or whatever the alias too or whatever where it went like this um or dude what if your daughter had like one of those cb radios like you actually gave her one in her crib or whatever or you know or whatever crib she has at two and a half years old if she's still in there there, and that's fine. And I say, hey, keep Mendel 7.

But what if she had in there, she's just sitting in her crib,

and she's like, break her, break her.

Well, we take certification very seriously.

So once she can pass the cert class, then we can get her the CB.

I don't want her fucking wild rogue on the airwaves, man. You're right.

You're right.

We don't need that.

Hey, this is full diaper to gray squirrel. remember that song full diaper to gray squirrel come back race come pick me up what you remember that song right what that mean uh about it was about like a teddy bear um and it was about this kid and his dad like had passed or something and he got a hold hold of his CB radio and was just like, hey, I want to be a truck driver one day.

I love everything.

And then they all come and take him for a ride in their truck and stuff like that.

It's a really sweet thing.

It was a song?

Yes, sir.

I would be tempted to call the police or report him at least because I know for a fact he's not certified. Yeah.
So it's a very sweet song. But I don't want to do that, but I have to.
You understand. Hey, rules are rules.
Rules are rules, dude. Oh, dude, you're so fucked.
You're going to be getting a big fine. That's the most i've laughed in a long time rules are rules dude dude what do you think if you met an alien right what do you what song would you play for them right this is a big question so say aliens come okay we send you to meet them and they're like send me huh me dude it's out of you the rock and and probably a diversity hire.
Okay. Because some people don't consider The Rock diverse anymore.
So, yeah, it's out of you. It's a little bit of a show me what you got.
Right. And what song do you play for the aliens, right? Because it's got to be a banger because if the first one isn't a banger, it's going to be a rap, dude.
Shit. When them pigs try to spit at you, drop it like it's all.
That's fire. No, that's fire.
I think it'd probably be Fireball Pitbull. Get them like ready to go.
Mr. Thrill of Dope 5.
No problem. Get them ready to fucking go.
Like, hey, all right, let's go. How does that song go? Fireball.
I've heard that. I was at a dinner a couple months ago, and Pitbull plays, right? And we're standing there in the audience, and I think it's me me and like you can't play pitbull at dinner well that's a rule i think that's what i thought and pitbull's on and we're like how do we know this is a real pitbull like this there could be 30 pitbulls playing around america right he went to perform there was a it was pitbull pitbull they said was playing but then we looked at the guy and we're like this could be any uber driver you never get close-up shots of Pitbull.
That's the thing. And he's always got big glasses.
Yes. He was like, dude, there could be seven Pitbulls playing right now.
We have no idea. It's just like birds aren't real.
Maybe fucking Pitbull ain't real. Pitbull ain't real.
Maybe. Bro, first of all, this is any – pull up that picture right there in the middle, right above, right there.
This is any Uber driver. Well, I don't see that.
Right, and that's me saying it. You don't have to say it, and that's fine, dude.
But, yeah. Oh, no, I don't see these.
Kind of. Is that Pitbull on the right? Who knows? Maybe.
Look at that. Nobody knows if it's Pitbull.
Is that a mugshot? Go back to this one. Is that a mugshot? That's a mugshot.
Because if that's a mugshot, that's the hardest mugshot of all time. That's not Pitbull.
That's Jeff Bezos, of course. Let's see right there.
It could have been anybody. It could be Pitbull.
It could be Whammeron. How about Jeff Bezos getting down? Look at the heart glasses.
Where is he here? What festival is this? Bro, he's delivering packages. You feel me? You dig? That's all I'm saying.
That guy, dude, my friend told me that he can bust big loads, dude. I made that up.
I made that up. My buddy told me he's bust fat nuts.
My buddy told me he got big busts. That's just a rant.
You're on the Elvis tour and Featherbed comes and says, you hear about Jeff Bezos he's busting fat nuts hey uh they call him Jeff Bussos I've been kissing your mother and this is where Elvis uses kisses mom overnight delivery can't decide what's going on. Can't decide.
What are we talking about? Who knows? What is this show about? Jesus Christ, dude. You were saying, I'm so sorry, you were saying...
No, I was saying you're pulling your child out of your wife's vagina. Exactly.
Let's get back. So anyways, you got a stepmom.
I like this Jeff Bezos, though, I'll say. Well, I'll say this.
The guy's incredible. He's obviously an incredible businessman.
Well, I like this version. Oh, yeah.
Whatever he's up to. He's amazing.
I can't even believe it. Amazon is going to like, it's going to probably be very dystopian.
It's going to be scary, I think. What does dystopianian mean like uh kind of like orwellian okay so um like foreign mystical spacey exactly i think that that's verbatim the definition i just think like it's like very thought policey um there you go okay here we go dystopian relating to or denoting an imagined state of society where there is great suffering or injustice, the dystopian future of a society bereft of reason.
And then the noun is a person who imagines or foresees a state or society where there's great suffering or injustice. So it's like I think with all the drones, like now, we were just in San Francisco.
And our driver got cut off by a self-driving car. No.
And you can't even cuss him out. And how do you go home to your wife after that? Yeah, exactly.
It's just like, you've seen the Tim Robinson show? He's so funny, isn't he? He's so funny. But there's the one where he goes to a magic show with his wife.
and the magician brings him up on stage and just like makes fun of his suit or whatever. And they go home and his wife's like laying there.
He embarrassed you. And she like they get divorced all this shit because the magician on stage made fun of his suit and just like made jokes.
But yeah, caught off by a self-driving car 100 and it gets to this point

to where it's like all humanity is lost and now even with social media it's like it's very thought policey and we police each other yeah yeah even then into the police Voluntarily.

Voluntarily is what we do.

And then now everything is heard and... Yeah.
Yeah. Even then into the police.
Voluntarily, voluntarily is what we do.

And then now everything is heard and seen and everything. So it's just like, I can't tell you how many times I've been on my phone and thought about something.
And then the next time I Google something, it comes up. I didn't even say it out loud.
it's just there like I was thinking like oh maybe

how sick would it be to like jack off on a jet ski in my head totally and I get on google and it's like wiki feet and then get this jet ski you know what I mean it's like fucking crazy and like how does that even work does it just know you so well that it knows what you're gonna think at this moment it's just going crazy and it's the biggest company in the world amazon yeah my mom delivers for them does she experience any of that stuff i mean she said no she's nothing yeah she hadn't met anyone it's just like the roombas and shit you know what i mean your whole house. Yeah.
And it is convenient, but convenient's not always the best way. Sorry to cut you off, sorry.
No, dude, I'm cutting you off. And it's like, I'm sorry to cut you off.
It's okay, sir. It's okay, thank you.
Fucker. I'll go.
I'll go. But it's like, yeah, it's, yeah, I don't know.
I don't know what we turn into more and more as things get. You know, Bernie Sanders was just on and he was talking about, and I loved it too.
I got to say that. Yes, sir.
I loved, I was a Bernie fan. I'll say it, you know.
He seems awesome. Yeah, and I don't know all, I don't know every one of his policies, but I was a fan of him.
He seems like a great guy to crack a beer with or just hang out with. And he comes in and he's like, and he's got his bag with him and every zipper on the bag is open.

And so immediately I was like, that's me.

That's my guy.

Every guy working so hard.

Keep going.

Every zipper is open.

There's visine in one and like a couple masks in the other.

He pulls a manila folder out.

He looks through it.

He's like,

he splits that down, looks at the cookies we got for him. Not interested.
I think he wanted ginger snaps. We didn't get any.
It's an old timey treat. I agree.
We thought current treats are bad. Yes, sir.
And he goes, I'm ready. And so we start talking, man.
And, and it was just great. You know, he wanted healthcare for everybody.
And the things he wants, it's like normal stuff.

It's like you just want people to feel safe and normal.

But, yeah, I just loved his authenticity.

I don't know where this was going.

Jesus, I'm an idiot.

It's okay, Theo Vaughn.

You're fine to me.

Thanks, man.

Thanks, dude.

I can't believe this is a show. Isn't that wild? Yeah, dude.
I can't believe a show Isn't that wild? Yeah dude Isn't that wild? Dude we tape above my garage There are people With lots In different cities or whatever We tape above my garage I believe you said top 10 In the whole world You need to to just start saying more wild shit. You think? Get you up to number one.
Yeah, just say the most wild thing you can into that camera right now. I'll go to jail, dude.
Trust me. And just for you sitting in it, you'll go to jail, too.
Fuck! And I'll say, Theo, that's bad. Yeah.
He'd like to kiss his mother goodbye. I'll tell you that.
We've gotten wild enough, dude. So the country tour, will there be anything different than your last tours? No, it'll just be tour, new music.
Tour, new music, yes, sir. Lots of fire.
I went and saw George Strait and Chris Stapleton in Utah. That was awesome.
Utah's so great, man. It's amazing.
My brother lives right outside of Mount Zion Park.

Well, he's got an awesome spot there.

We're like

30 minutes outside of

Salt Lake and it's lovely.

The whole state is just stunning. It's killer.

There's a sense of freedom. There's a sense of like

I want to do what I want to do. That's exactly

why I went there. I lived in LA for like

five

years and I was like, I can't do it. Like I can't do it anymore.
It's beautiful, but the people there, and that's not even LA people. It's, you know, like people who move there.
And it's just always, I felt like this oppressive energy. It's always like, like there's always something to do there's always something someone wants from you and i went and did a show and i met beautiful people in la oh and i've also met a lot of fucking dickheads um yeah but i did a show in utah and i was like this place fucking rocks and so a week later we got the house and that was it and

it was the best best decision i've made you know i um yeah some of my best shows that i've had

recently were through idaho and utah idaho probably gets down bro those cool dude i didn't know if

they like g-u-n-s over there dude oh you didn't know i didn't know there's nothing else to do

Thank you. Dude, I didn't know if they like G-U-N-S over there, dude.
Oh, you didn't know? There's nothing else to do. I was like, who likes guns? Seven people just shot them in the air.
Single action cult. Single action army.
Cool. Noted? So that was pretty cool.
So be funny. Say something funny, funny funny funny man oh you tighten up quick bro your posture is fucking all right yeah and uh so that was pretty amazing man it's going there and it's such beautiful country out there and i think a lot more people are like what are we doing in these cities what am i chasing yeah i want to be alive i want to feel like something important did you feel like as you got more famous that part of you like changed or disappeared or um because when did you start to get popular at or let's just say popular because fame is a weird word yeah you know um what things happened to you did you anything? Did some of it feel bad?

Yeah, man.

I mean, Migos had a song called I'd Rather Be Rich Than Famous.

It makes a lot of sense.

It's just especially whenever you're coming like the whole music world so young,

it's super easy to just be a fuck up kid, you know what I mean? And not know what the fuck is going on. And it was hard.
And that's, since then, I've moved to Utah. I got rid of my social media.
I keep way more to myself. I don't really go out anymore.
I just like, and, you know, for a long time, I was very sad and I find myself now getting back into what is fun to me and what I love doing. Been a lot of riding, a lot of time in the fucking woods.
I just got a really awesome piece of property where I can just sit and fish and be to myself. And I wondered for the longest time why I was so sad.
And it was just because I wasn't able to do what I like to do in my current circumstance. And I think it's important for anyone who's doing anything to be able to get out and take some time for yourself.
And for the longest time, I didn't do that. You know, it was just head down and go, go, go.
But now taking this time to really just do what I like to do. And I have a daughter, I guess.
She's cool. She's cool she's fine so that helped yeah but you really mean that what you're saying yeah absolutely man and i think it's important for everyone i struggle like i just keep feeling like i need to do more to prove like i don't know what i'm trying to prove things to sometimes yes sir it's like there's this constant like i've had it since i think I was a kid, you know? Yes, sir.
Like, I'm not enough and I just, I don't know if it's I'm not enough. That's not the feeling.
The feeling is like, I need to keep, I need, what else can I do? What's the next? I just, I have, like, I have to do more. But it's like, what am I trying to appease? Am I trying? That's the thing I struggle with sometimes.
Sure. And I think in the end, later on, I've realized, I think as an adult, it's just this endless feeling of like, oh, I'm not enough.
I have to constantly prove myself to you. And if I proved myself to you yesterday, that's not enough.
That's not enough. I have to prove myself again to you today.
And I think it's just this, I don't know how that magnet started that keeps pulling that energy out of me. Well, I think people have the natural inclination to want to be great.
And it's like, even with music, with me, I can only speak on my behalf. I can't speak on your world at all.

But whenever I make a record, I'm already writing new songs.

I'm like, I've already done these songs.

I want to see what I can do next.

I want to see what I can make next.

You know what I mean?

It's always like you want to create.

And we get caught up in this kind of deal where it's just like,

it's just, like I said, everything is so fucking fast.

Yeah, now it is.

And like you said, I proved myself to you yesterday.

Why do I got to prove myself to you today?

And it's nothing is certain.

And we just want to be great.

I think humans inherently want to be great and be accepted.

And let me ask you this. What do you like to do? What do you like to do when you're not working? You know, honestly, I like to go fishing, man.
Yeah. I like to talk to my brother.
I like to think about my friends. I like to pray for my friends and people.
Maybe you go be a minister, like a volunteer minister.

I was thinking about signing up for the fire department.

Okay, hold on.

I agree you're still getting people out of fire,

but a little different than volunteer ministry, okay?

But pulling people out of Hades and pulling people out of a fucking,

somebody fucking, somebody set off a space heater

in a Hampton Inn is a little bit different, okay?

But I feel you.

You understand what I'm saying.

No, I do 100%, brother.

Praise God, baby.

Yeah, one day I think I would like to end up in that or in some form of like, is there anything from my life that I can share that will help somebody not feel some of the tough parts that I felt?

Yes, sir.

Thank you. from my life that I can share that will help somebody not feel some of the tough parts that I felt.
And yes, sir. Yeah, that's it.
Your heart is bigger than your hat, dude. And I can tell that from the first moment I met you, I think we met at Losers the first time.
Oh, yeah. We were just hanging out out back with Earn.
Earn it to do this, dude. Yep.
And Earn is the glue of this city. Oh, my God.
Can we go ahead and say that? He knows everybody. It's amazing.
He knows everybody. And he's just a sweetheart.
And he's so funny. Yeah.
He's killer. And he's so talented.
Yes, sir. And I hope he feels how much people love him.
Yes, sir. Because they do.
Absolutely. And I love that motherfucker, too.
More than life, brother. I love you, dude.
I have never. He's the funniest person I've met in Nashville.
He's a whip, dude. He's a whip.
It's insane. He's just, he's so fast.
He's fast. I can't even believe it.
Like, it's kind of like hanging with John Mayer. Like, whenever you meet John Mayer, it's like, everything you say, he has a one-liner in response.
And it's the coolest thing you've ever heard anyone say. Erwin's very much like that.
I've, like, he's just, he's going oh john's magnificent dude so i went uh i met john merritt probably 17 years ago right and then uh seven years later i saw him at the comedy store and my when i met him i was working as a tour manager for an artist named josh kelly who also came out of um georgia um but anyway um He and met John one night. And seven years later, I was at the comedy store.
And I saw John. And I said, hey, man, I met you.
And he goes, I met you at an apartment in New York City seven years ago. And he fucking knew.
It's insane. And I was like, oh, you're a wizard.
Yeah, he is. He is a wizard.
It's fucking. It was crazy, man.
And so, yeah, we went and saw him recently at the Grateful Dead and Co. How was that show? It was so special, man.
It was so special. My brother's a huge Grateful Dead fan, and I love my brother so much.
I can't. I don't even have the words for how much I love my brother.
Yes, sir. And in between the shows, his assistant came out and said, Hey, John wants to say hey to you guys.
So we're walking back. And my brother's a huge, grateful Ed fan.
Like he's like bought like Jerry's like replica DNA off Reddit and shit. He's had some tough moments, but he's a great guy.
And, uh, so we're, and my brother's like looking at all the dressing rooms like shit you don't do. Like, you know, you're walking back, you don't fucking, you know, my brother's like looking at all the dressing rooms, like shit you don't do.

Like, you know, you're walking back.

You don't fucking, you know, my brother's like looking at like the,

you know, he's looking at like the coffee tray and just, what's going on?

You know, he sees Bob Weir's dressing room.

He introduced himself to a security guard.

You know, it's sweet.

You know, it's cool.

Yeah, that's amazing.

Yeah, it was awesome.

And then we got to go in and talk to John.

And I literally just sat there while they talked about Grateful Dead.

Yeah.

And that moment right there was the highlight of my life.

Yeah, and I can tell you love your brother, dude. Yeah.

Like so much.

There's a lot of people who are there because to be 100% candid with you, I could not name one Grateful Dead song. Yeah.
And for you to sit there and them talk about the Grateful Dead. Oh, I love it.
That's amazing. It meant so much to me.
Because I just knew, and my brother is very articulate and extremely smart, especially when it comes to child development and stuff. And I knew that in a weird way his intellect and John's would be cool, and it was just nice.
But it was nice of John to welcome us. Anyway, it was a great show.
I'm kind of bragging there, but that was like a cool moment. And the other day I was texting my brother, and he's like, yeah he's like hey you know John it was a great show i'm kind of bragging there but but that was like a cool moment you know and the other day i was texting my brother and he's like yeah he's like hey you know john i like it was cool that john just let us have a regular conversation yeah and i was like yeah it was really he's a stud man much like earn that's i get the same kind of deal oh you do yeah i get the same kind of deal i think so um yeah he's just smart man earn is so good i mean he yeah it's crazy i i he makes me laugh i'm like how do i laugh i gotta talk to him yeah he's he's he's a killer yeah he's a killer and you know um did he work on a new is he on one of your new songs he yeah we did a song together he wrote a bunch on the record and he's just like dude he's on top of it i can't even believe it i'm honored to work with that young man and he's just a great heart it was him and chuck um through them i met everyone here and it's a it's a great spot right here man i just can't believe it yeah what's the time in nashville been like so it's been what five or six months you've been here yes sir yeah five or six months or maybe a little more i think did you buy a house here no sir i want one it's just so damn expensive um it's pricey it is it is for fancy house um whatever you know if you get a new spot i'll move in with you i'll move in in the garage yeah come on in i'm pretty low i need some help yeah exactly yeah exactly no please i can't swing the nashville deal um but i'm looking i'm looking for spots i'd like a spot out here because every time we come out here we stay at the hotel or airbnb and the folks at the hotel are so sweet and they take such great care of me um But I just need a little more room, so we started Airbnb-ing a little bit

because we have the baby out and all that stuff.

Then I was like, well, we'll get a spot.

So we started looking.

And stuff that I'm looking at, I'm like, Jesus Christ.

It's –

It's pricey.

It is wild.

Yeah, it is wild.

We looked at the same house.

I remember talking.

We did?

Yeah.

You looked at it too, huh?

I looked at it on the internet.

Thank you. It is wild.
Yeah, it is wild. We looked at the same house.
We did?

Yeah.

You looked at it too, huh? I looked at it on the internet. Oh, you didn't go visit? I didn't go.
I didn't go. I went in person.
I went three times. Yeah, I didn't go.
It's so hard for me to get something that's fancy. You deserve it.
Thanks, man. Well, all you need to do is start doing like those, you do the youth pastor stuff, but you do it like this big stadium deal.
Like the guy, what's the guy's name? Carl Lentz. I don't want to be in an airplane with a bunch of demons, so I bought me a private jet.
You know who I'm talking about? Yeah, bring that guy up, dude. Yeah, that dude's awesome.
That dude's out of control. But no judgment here.
Let's bring this fella up, Benny. I'm not a devout believer in Kenneth Copeland.
I'll say that. Okay, and he knows who we're talking about, dude.
Kenneth Copeland, that's what it is. I don't want to be.
God gave me an airplane. Ask you about why you don't want to fly commercial.
Why have you said that you won't fly commercial? You said that it's like getting into a tube with a bunch of demons. Doesn't he look evil? Why do you think that? He's got like the classic villain face, man.
My name is Chuck Schumer. Not the people.
The main reason is because of the need. If I flew commercial, I'd have to stop 65% of what I'm doing.
That's really me.

Isn't it true that you want to fly commercials so that you can fly in luxury?

How much money did you pay for Tyler Perry's Gulfstream jet, for example?

Well, for example, that's really none of your business, but... Isn't it the business of your donors?

Listen.

Good question.

I paid.

Big slap back right there.

You kind of caught me off guard here. Well, fuck.
To catch your breath and have a conversation. We don't want to catch you off guard.
Really? Yes, you did. Hey, you listening to me? My wife thinks Inside Edition is, oh, yeah.
Yes. Might be rolling, too.
Again, getting back to the comments. This dude's on Molly.
You said that you don't like to fly commercial because you don't want to get into a two-eathe bunch of demons. Do you really believe that human beings are demons? No, I do not.
And don't you ever say I did. It hurts.
It hurts. We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but principalities and power.

Can you explain what you meant by that term then?

Isn't that wild?

It's wild.

And what state is he from?

He's not from Utah.

If he's from Utah, Louisiana, we're from.

Oh, he's from Newark, Texas. Oh, fuck.
And that's who you grew up. Yeah, yeah, okay.
You grew up in Texas. I mean, I guess.
He's fine, I guess, now. He's from Lubbock.
No shit. That's crazy.
That's wild. Hey, neighbor.
That's wild. Did you...
Yeah, what were some of the music you grew up listening to in Texas, man? Fuck. Or what was the music that kind of first influenced you? Like for me, I had a lot.
I mean, John Michael Montgomery to see you play with him the other night. So cool.
Bro, we loved listening to him. We loved listening to Clint Black.
We loved listening to Garth Brooks. We loved listening to Lil Wayne.
We loved listening to the Hot Boys. The Hot Boys.
Yeah, buddy. Those are some of the musicians of like No Doubt, like shit like that, you know, Jewel.
Dude, everything. Yeah.
Everything. That's like, I remember my dad had this, the big ass iPod that was like 360 gigs.
You remember the big blocks? And I would steal it. I was like, hey, can I use your iPod tonight? And it was everything.
It was like Megadeth, fucking The Blueprint, fucking Garth Brooks, my mom's side. Down in a hole.
Down in a hole. The feelings I'm having.
Fucking Allison. Fucking Lane Staley is a killer.
Yeah. Fucking killer, dude.
I'd like to fly. What is that one? I think it's the same song.
But my wings have been so denied. I like that.
Okay, sorry. That could be also from The Muppets.
Okay, my bad. But yeah, I think, yeah.
It's almost unrecognizable. No, it's just everything, man.
It's together. Like, and I grew up in it.
Like, Young Thug, for me, is my favorite lyricist and melody maker, like, of all fucking time. Like, I remember when he, like, the first song I heard was the, it was him and Pee Wee Longway.
It's a song called Loaded. And I was like, what the fuck? These melodies, like, insane.
Like, he goes to such crazy fucking places that, for Young Thug, by the way, he goes to such crazy fucking places where you, the natural mind, like my melody mind doesn't go. He like, I would go down one place and he would go like two octaves up.
And I was like, what the fuck, dude, this is mine. And so fun to listen to, like so fucking fucking cool.
And, like, a lot of it, like, growing up was in my early teens and everything was Thug and, like, Rocky and George Strait. Fucking Hank Sr., Alan, Megadeth, Metallica, fucking Anthrax.
Just fucking everything, dude. Oh, yeah.
You're a kid. And even a little dubstep.
I don't listen to dubstep now, but I did. Like a little Flux Pavilion, just to pepper it.
Wow, bro. But, dude, there's so much fucking cool shit going on at any...
And that's the problem, too. Like, I remember, like, Soundcloud just first started and i was maybe one of the first artists to really like blow up strictly on soundcloud really i don't even know that soundcloud i think it was like 2013 soundcloud was going and i think 20 i can't dude I can't remember anything.
I have such a dory brain. But yeah.
And it's so hard now I feel like for new artists to because of the volume of music that's getting put out. Which is a fucking amazing thing.
Oh 2007. I was way's when it started it was really popping right things that start that means they open their doors yes sir probably took five years to get going type in when did soundcloud really start popping 2017 look at that chance the Rapper, Post Malone

Odd Future

oh you're on that list

yeah see I'm on the list out of 3

isn't that cool

yeah it's super cool man

yeah it's hard now

to get discovered especially

it's either easier or real hard

because you can do something that really

just tricks the algorithm

and saying people get

viral, super viral moments

but songs don't have to be viral

to be viral to be awesome. And we miss out, I feel like, on so many like artists that never, you know, so many talented people that never get the algorithm going for them.
But they're fucking killer. And that's like the hard part is the volume of stuff.
And I'm a big advocate. The first recording software I got, I think making music should be as cheap as it possibly can, and you can get your ideas out.
I used a free recording software. I had a $200 guitar.
I had a $100 mic and I would sit in my room and fucking make these songs. I love that concept.
But it's hard now because it's, like I said, it's so fast and songs are viral for a couple days and then like you don't hear much after that. You know what I mean? And that's like- Or a train comes through and takes it.
But that's what people are like, let's make something that goes viral. I just like, I want people to fucking express themselves the way that it is.
And if you work super fucking hard and you go, like I'm the luckiest dude in the world. I went viral that white iverson went viral and that was because of fat man key and um he's fucking amazing amazing you also feel like you were sharing yourself honestly yes sir absolutely and that's like and i think there's so many artists out there that i want to do something in the future where like audacity that free recording program oh yeah most amazing thing of all it's free it's free that's the only editor i know how to use it's amazing if our shit's bonk in the middle of that i'll be up on audacity it's amazing and it's free and it has been free thank you audacity i didn't even dude fuck yeah thank you audacity isn't that fucking it really was cool yeah i didn't even that.
I never even thought to thank them because yeah, I'd be up in the middle of the night, a podcast episode, something be wrong. Like we got to fix it.
Boom. I'll use audacity, you know? Um, yeah, I think, you know, I think express trying to be real to yourself.
What makes you fucking feel, what makes you hurt or what makes you want, what makes you angry or what makes you want what makes you angry or what makes you you know what makes you uncertain you know like if you can find a feeling and and and attach your art to it i think that that i just i don't believe that we can't see authenticity yes sir when we see it yes i don't believe that i know there's hooks and you can get hooked on the hooks, but I feel like authenticity, you can never lose by just trying. You're not making it just to make it.
You're making it because you love it. Right.
Well, Bernie, that's one thing Bernie Sanders said. I said, well, what would you say to a young politician who wants to be someone young who wants to affect culture the same way you did in the 70s when you decided to become a politician?

He said. Me? No, not you.
Oh, that explains the Elvis question. You're talking about.
You're talking about Ghost Malone, dude. but no no no he said um i said bernie what if you had to say something to a young person who was the same as you in 1970 or 1968 who wanted to affect change right he really wanted to have a you know who believed that i'm a human that can have an effect on the world right he said um do it because of what your purpose is not because you want to get elected like You don't have to get elected anymore to serve your purpose.
Yes, sir. Right? You can serve your purpose because of social media and because of the internet these days just as much as if you got elected.
If you were elected. Right? Yes, sir.
And that was pretty interesting to me. It was like, yeah, find the new road, You know? Like, just like even with SoundCloud, it's like, yeah, if you couldn't get a deal, if there wasn't a deal, somebody handing you a deal.
That's like, find the new road. Find the SoundCloud, go independent.
And it's such a cool thing to see, like, independent artists and fucking them doing all the shit by themselves like yeah printing the records putting it up on dsp's you know all this stuff it's so cool that's that's why like i think i was saying too i want to give like down the road whenever you know there's more time and i'm not so selfish and self-focused well and i got my family too so i'm working hard for that but it's okay i feel you man it's like yeah you get going on your own dream and your own dream takes off and then it's like how quick do you feel like i need to start to uh turn around and figure out help and when yeah and when can you help others and that's like the most important thing for me is either you do it with music help people you know through hard times or help them get through a tough week or whatever but I want to make it bigger and help you know artists really get a fucking spot and showcase talent because there's so much that doesn't get you know like it's cool I'm excited you know and I'm about 30 years old I'm 20 I'm 29 but tomorrow or not tomorrow but next year I'll be 30 and i'm like i don't have it in me anymore you know i'm figuring it out i'm i'm like i'm like my back hurts you know whenever your knees click whenever you stand up oh it's the scariest dude yeah man did i went to an audition one time and like all right do the part and i started reading and i like pointed and you could hear as a quiet room your elbow elbow go, Oh, you hear that? You hear my elbow click. So it was like somebody loaded a shotgun and you saw a chiropractor.
There was one key girl in the room. She'd like immediately got her phone out.
It was like, you could just, that was not that bad, bro. It was bad.
Everybody came. Even I, you could see in my eyes.
One of my eyes was like, I'm going home. We'll just let the other one work, you know.
I cocked in earlier than he did. You could see fucking my, you could just see things change, you know.
It is wild. But it is wild, yeah.
But it is also wild. And also, you want to get to a place in your life when it comes to giving back where you know what you want to give back to.
That's the craziest thing. It's like, I've been in discussions like about a year and a half with an attorney about starting a foundation.
And like, well, what do you want your foundation to be? You can't just make a foundation and it's blind. Like the government, you have to make it very specific.
And so there's all these certain things. And so you have to figure that out.
And you don't want to just be blind. You want to do something you care about because otherwise then you're supporting something you don't even really care about and your passion's not going to be in it um can i 10-1 yeah all right let me 10-1 you got a pee yes sir you can peel off the balcony if you want that's not true yeah it is dude dude i'm putting this elmer fudd head on dude brandless that's bad hold on i look like a referee at a freaking uh that's horrible too that's not horrible why are you too hard on yourself dude i'm so hard on myself why why i don't know why i think uh man this is a great question let me think about it real quick and let me seriously it.
Why am I so hard on myself? I think there's a constant feeling of like, I think, you know, I think it comes from when I was a kid. I have to be enough for you to see me.
So how do I make myself enough or okay where you'll see me? You know? Well, I see you and you're a, and I love you. You're a killer.
Thanks. And there's so many people out there that think the same.
The hat did suck, though. Yeah, all right.
You're amazing, dude. Thanks, dude, yeah.
No, not at all. Yeah, I don't know why.
It's just so crazy that it doesn't get built into me, man. Thank you, dude.
That's sweet of you to say. No, dude, come on.
No, that's sweet of you to say, man. Yeah, it's like so crazy that it doesn't get built into me man thank you dude that's sweet come on no it's just sweet of you to say man yeah it's like uh i hate that i hate that i'm always having a like you know after a while it gets you know it's like am i do i look okay do i seem okay do i like i just want to fuck i'm just tired of the fight you know and the fight is just against me that's's like the same thing you're saying.
It's like, so I'm not getting into self-pity mode here. I'm just looking at it.
Yes, sir. I want people to know that.
Sometimes we can get into self-pity. I've got to be careful there.
Yes, sir. I don't want to get into self-pity.
But it's like, yeah, why is that? But even thinking about it like this is kind of helpful. So thanks, man.
No, thank you, Theo. And, dude, the shit that you do and how many lives you brighten every day just by being your fucking self and doing this show, it helps so many people.
It's fucking bitching, to put it mildly. Yeah.
It's bitching, dude. You're such a bitching dude.
Right on. You're such a bitching dude.
Which seems almost a little femme, okay? Yeah. It is.
That's okay. High femme.
High femme. High femme.
Yeah, it's high femme. Thanks, dude.
You got it. Thanks, bro.
Thank you, man. Yeah, I wish I could think, you know, I think it was just so hard when I was a kid, it was so hard to feel highly of myself, you know.
It was like I just like... I don't know.
I felt like I just wasn't worth a lot, you know. Theo Vaughn.
No shade, bro. Quit it, brother.
Sorry. No cap.
Quit it, you son of a bitch. Thanks, bro.
I'm not trying to be weird. No, you're not being weird.
You feel like I'm not flirting with you. don't feel like that dude you're cute take the hat off hold on dude look i kissed your brother this is where the upon used to kiss his mama no i don't know i yeah just i don't know sometimes that old shit fucking comes up you know no absolutely and i want to respect it because that's the old kid's feelings but also yeah i want to I want to let that kid know the same things you say, that I'm a deservant person and that I'm a good person and that it's okay.
You are. That's why I asked earlier.
I get the idea. We've met times you know, we've met times before,

but today I feel like take some time to do fucking Theo shit.

Dude, take that.

You deserve it more than you know, I think.

And that's like a really fucking cool thing.

You are such a good person.

Thanks, bro.

I'm just honored to know you, and you fucking kick you too man you kick ass dude thanks for talking to me about that stuff i know it's not always easy to talk about and i'm i didn't mean to push push it on you no i didn't i don't feel like you did man you know it's something a lot of like uh like the listeners of this show think about a lot you You know, like we talk about that stuff a lot you know it's like uh yeah how we feel our relationship to ourselves that kind of shit you know it's important it is important and it gets overlooked yeah it gets i mean i can't believe it's not a class in school like hey how do you feel about yourself like fuck dude i'd have wrote 70 essays on that yeah it's easy oh that's a f yeah fucking right yeah right this is you don't know motherfucker yeah yeah it's crazy there's not a world of a little bit more a world of emotional intelligence yes sir like when we grow up yes sir because it would help people so much uh absolutely but thanks bro yeah yeah yeah and yeah like i feel yeah most the time time i feel great you know and dude the past few years have just been so good it's like going through like so much therapy and i've done ayahuasca treatments and i've done i've been in 12-step recovery like yes sir 95 of the last 10 years and so um you know all of that whole universe has been great.

And you're fucking killing it, dude.

Yeah, look, dude, you're here today.

I made it.

You got me, dude.

You got me and Bernie.

Dude, could I ask for two more sweethearts?

If I had a Valentine's when I was a kid, I would have picked a woman woman but instead i got you and bernie and i'll take it bro well double valentine's very progressive yeah yeah um polyamorous valentine good band name bro fucking good band name it doesn't even yeah polyamorous valentine yeah that's cool dude do you ever uh have you seen all the halloween costumes of you you ever see them you do the cool a cool story about halloween i don't know if i've told this before yeah tell it man um we were in on bourbon street in the big easy oh yeah new orleans man i'm from covington louisiana so close and i love it there by the way it's like the dopest place but we went oh it's a great place to go missing oh it's the best we went on halloween and people thought i was a costume and didn't get stopped once they were like sick costume dude i'm like dicks man didn't get stopped once these i know i love this like dude it's so cool to. I don't know why babies dress up as me so much.
I don't know why my music is so big to the 300 demographic. Is that true? It is.
Look at all these babies. Pull up Post Malone babies.
Oh, my God. And that one has a cigarette? bring up Post Malone babies.
Oh, my God. And that one has a cigarette?

Bring up Post Malone babies, dude.

Costume.

I'm trying, dude.

See, look, baby.

Baby costume.

Hey, Theo.

Hold on.

Zoom in.

It's coming around.

What the fuck is this?

Hold on.

Bring this up, dude.

This kid looks like somebody Gypsy Rose would date. What's that lady's name? Gypsy Rose.
Is her name Gypsy Rose? Who's that? Yeah, that looks like somebody Gypsy Rose is probably going to leave prison for Gypsy Rose Blanchard, beautiful lady. What'd she do? From Louisiana.
Well, who knows what she did? But she is okay with meeting men outside of prison. Pull back to the damn go to the babies oh my god who the fuck pull that back up the baby would look normal bro i'm not convinced those aren't prosthetic feet bro no joke i'm not gonna give you a joke and this is no shade this looks like travis tritt's son bring up tristan tritt oh god i got kill me for this, dude.
Tristan, I love you and your sister and your father. Bring up Tristan Tritt.
Okay. I don't see it.
But hold on. No.
Put it together for me right now. You don't see it? Bro, you are an artist and you don't see it i'm in kissing your mother you don't see it white boy it is what it is no that's the worst picture get him come on what do you want me to put it there there's 200 000 pictures of tristanitt, beautiful young man, Travis Tritt's son, talented musician.
We need long hair. Just do your best real quick and put it together.
I'm trying to. We'll put it together then and we'll come back to it, dude.
What is that one right there? Wait, go back to that real quick, sir. Yeah, click on that.
Go down. What is that third image? What is that? What does that say?

Why do you draw on your eye?

The concept gives me nightmares.

Congratulations.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

It looks very Vincent van.

That's actually on her face.

That's like her eye right there.

No, it is not.

Wait, what happened? That's Photoshop.

That's her eyelash and that's her eyebrow.

That's Photoshop.

Oh, it's a drawing. It's Photoshop.
That's her eyelash and that's her eyebrow. That's Photoshop.
Oh, it's a drawing. It's makeup.

That's cool.

That's cool. Interesting placement.

Dude, I couldn't even figure that out.

That's dark magic.

I thought it was. Yeah, I thought it was.
That's cool.

Dude, that's yeah. That's when I'm driving

into the city. That's you

stepping out. Who's on the other eye?

That's dark magic, huh?

Who's on the other eye? Probably Dennis Rodman. Cool.
The other, hold on, the other Post Malone. Oh, it comes out of the beard.
Yeah, it's your beard. Alright, I get it.
I understand that. What are the different Malones I've seen? I've seen Coast Malone.
Have you ever seen that one? No, sir. Is it like a shore? It's like, yeah.
CDC Coast Malone. Let's not avoid the Theo Vaughn baby Halloween costumes.
That's good. That's apocalyptic almost.
Coast Malone is good. Hit the one with the mountains right there on the fourth one.
I don't see why not. Look, I agree, dude.
It's very similar. Well, you just got to get enough land, then you could carve it yourself.
Oh, Dermot Kennedy's coming on, dude. He'd love to do it, dude.
He's an Irish lot. Yeah, we had Coast Malone.
Who else did we have? We had... Ghost Malone's classic.
Ghost Malone is classic. Yeah.
Toast Malone. This one's good.
Toast Malone is good. I like the fourth one.
Yeah, pull up the fourth one right now. Yeah, that's my favorite.
That is enjoying the roast Malone. It's cursed.
That's just a white guy at a Chevron. Okay, pull up one more.
Bring up, what else do we have? Roast Mal malone bring up roast malone's good imagine so it's like the jesus on a uh cracker or whatever yeah that'd go for some money that most that's terrifying yeah you don't want to cut into your christmas ham and fucking uh most malone is good what's that it's just a picture of jelly roll sorry and that's an old joke and if i go to hell for that that's on me and that's a that's it's a cheap joke jelly roll and i will say that what a low blow you cocks up it is a low blow but i'll say that it's a low blow to a high guy and i i believe that uh i can apologize to him he's the best dude that's the most that those are the most malones i've ever seen that's the most That's the most Malones. Is there something, when you think about your career, you've had a storied career.
Sure. And thank you for it, man.
Thank you for just taking us like, you feel like a concierge that takes us through different universes. And I appreciate that, man.
That's the kind thing to say. Yeah.
Well, it's important because a lot of artists, it's like their wheelhouse is, it's not limited, but it's like, it's not as multifaceted, you know? Yes, sir. And I appreciate that because people are multifaceted.
Absolutely. You know, there's a lot to people.
And, yeah, it's just good to see that. It's good to see you share like vibrant sides,

thoughtful sides, introspective sides,

like angry sides, vibey sides.

It's just cool to see you share the different sides, man.

You know, I think that's the new wave

of what a lot of people want to see about of artists.

Yes, sir.

Because it's not that you love the music as much anymore.

For me anyway, maybe. Sure.
And I'm speaking for myself. Sure.
You like the artist. Sure.
And I think that says a lot. For me, it's the perfect marriage of those two.
You know, like, I can't tell you how many times, like, I've seen someone, I'm like, that dude, well, this is a bad example. Christoph Waltz, right? One of the greatest actors of all time.
Christopher Walken? Christoph Waltz. Sorry.
He's German. Yeah, pull him up.
You'll know him if you see him. I believe in him.
Krustief. Krustief Waltz.
Crazy paper airplane throw. I like the Google searches.

Hey, people don't need to finish school to work here.

Christoph Waltz.

Oh, Christoph Waltz, yeah.

Beautiful guy.

You know him.

He was in Django.

He was in Inglourious Bastards.

Beautiful guy.

But even if he wasn't one of the best actors of all time,

he seems so fucking cool.

He seems like a great dude.

He's got a great smile and a nice German accent kind of up here and I'd like he's just so trill I haven't said trill and I don't throw that term around loosely no one said it in a decade he seems super trill and boss oh breaking up a bottle of trill is like breaking up a fine wine. Yeah, I just cracked it.
Post you just opened up a trill. Opened a 2010 trill.
Somebody call Bieber, dude. We're having a night.
Being who you are and being kind to people and just doing your best to be kind to people is the kind of vibe I get from him and the vibe I get from you.

You could be shit, but you're going to win because you are a kind person.

So that's – Thanks, man.

I guess that's what I'm saying.

I don't know how Christoph Waltz got brought in, but I love you, Christoph Waltz.

Amen.

And I love you, Theo Vaughn.

No, I'm glad he did this.

What's that?

I love you, Theo Vaughn.

Oh, thanks, bro. I appreciate it.
I love you too, man. I thought I was going to get the me too on that one.
I love cake. I've enjoyed listening to your music over the years.
I've enjoyed seeing you being like, you know, I feel like when I see you, sometimes you're a reflection of the better parts of myself and others. And so I see you, and it reminds me in a smile about where I'm at.
And I think that's a nice thing. And there's a lot of people that do that.
But you are one of the people in the limelight that do that. And, yeah, I've loved listening to the songs I've heard on your new album so far.
The ones with Morgan, Luke Combs, Laney, Blake Shelton. Yes, sir.
And I think there's only four I've listened to so far. But I'm looking forward to listening to more of them.
It's out now. Fuck yeah.
Yeah. There's a bonus track out now.
Is there? That's what I heard. And if there isn't, we'll take that out.

But Post Malone, thank you so much, man. Thanks for

spending time with me.

And thank you for spending time with humanity.

I think it's important

that we have people like you in the world.

Well, thank you for having me on. And I'm

so honored to be here. And everyone has

been so kind to me. And

you're the shit.

And thank you.

Thanks so much, bro.

I love you, bro.

Thank you, Theo Vaughn.

I love you too.

And I love you too.

And just keep being yourself.

Keep being awesome.

And don't be a dick.

I love you.

Have a great night.

Be good to yourselves, baby gang.

Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone. Kissing her.