Fifth Wednesday Not-A-Pod Pod

Hello, this isn't an episode.

This is not an episode.

No, absolutely not.

Put down

your plowshares.

Put down your swords.

Put down your scythes.

Actually, pick up your industrial machinery and start trimming that hedge.

Start operating that crane because you're not something useful.

You get useful done.

Get something useful done.

Because we won't be.

Because this is.

are you eating crisps

i've had a

prunes i've had a so basically we've we've just been recording prunes with a spoon we've been eating

i have i've had a sugar dip because we've been recording for i'm a bit tired yeah and um we've been recording for about 20 seconds henry

it's enough for me to have a sugar dip also it's 139 which means technically it's after lunch where i have my nap although well sometimes i i have a sugar i have a sugar dip but i've not had any sugar yet so I don't know what I'm dipping.

I'm having some sort of

dipping into.

I've got nothing to dip with, but I'm still dipping, so it's quite frightening.

Do you always eat prunes with a spoon?

Well, I like to eat spoon prunes when I'm having a sugar dip.

I eat spoon prunes.

But well, no, I panicked because I was having a sugar dip.

I couldn't find my nuts and my snacks.

I found some prunes at the back of my cupboard, and I thought I'd have some spoon prunes.

Now,

did you hear the noise that prune made?

Yeah, yeah, it goes straight through, doesn't it?

It really does.

So

I've just noticed these prunes

are best before May 2024.

So this is a live experiment that's happening.

This is all the last words.

Prunes aren't supposed to make this noise when you drop them.

Listen to this.

Are they supposed to be soft?

I don't know.

Yeah.

They're going to take their softness from

your insides.

Oh, I see, yes.

So I could live.

Every scintilla of fluid in every cell in your body is going to be sucked into that prune as it goes through.

So I could become the thing that you do when you put a packet of crisps in the oven and it becomes a mini version.

I could become that of myself

during this recording.

At that sort of speed, yeah.

And that means you put a drawing pin through me like my mum did.

Yeah, with the mini crisp.

Yeah.

But I could become a badge of myself.

I could become quite a cute little Mini Henry version badge of himself.

And we will be be taking bids for that at the Patreon at the merch site for three bean salads.

Starting at $7.99.

Which I think is a respectful amount.

Bonjo, where are you?

I can't see your face, Bonjo.

That's the effect of the

fluid from the brain.

It's the first.

It's the brain and eyes.

It starts nearest the mouth.

Doesn't it?

You put it in your gob, it starts taking its fluid.

And then, so I'll be tiny, and at the end, there'll be a giant prune, no, a prune-shaped turd or a me-shaped prune or a me-shaped turd.

It'll be very hard to tell.

Probably science isn't there yet, so they'll probably just preserve it in the bottom of the Natural History Museum and wait until science catches up with

it.

Yeah.

Henry, what's the blurb on the front of the packet say?

I was trying to read it.

Of the prunes.

Yeah.

Tesco prunes.

Tesco soft prunes harvested from orchards and dried to bring out their sweetness.

And

I think we're going to call this a euphemism.

I am.

Source of fibre.

We know what you're talking about, mate.

Yeah.

It's an extreme, it's a sort of like a pagan version of,

it's a sort of pagan medicine for constipation, essentially, isn't it?

Prunes.

No one's eating prunes for fun.

So what are we saying?

We're saying respect Mother Nature because she gave us prunes.

Exactly.

Well, we were.

And she also gave us Fifth Wednesdays.

Yes.

On the natural calendar.

Yeah.

And we don't do an episode on Fifth Wednesday.

We do four episodes a month.

Sometimes a month will conjure an extra Wednesday, sneaky little month.

And we simply don't go along with that.

We don't put an episode out.

No, we ignore it as much as we can.

We hunger down.

And

we're in July's Fifth Wednesday.

We're about to enter August.

We're not about in August at all.

But if you want further bean action, you can sign up on Patreon, of course.

Because there's four plump, ripe episodes sat there waiting for you.

No.

Aren't there new fresh ones?

No.

No.

Sorry,

as I said, Ben, these prunes went off in May 2024.

Yeah.

So throw me some slack.

But they will be coming out throughout August.

But there's lots of back, sort of back issues of patients.

There's lots of back issues.

All sorts of stuff.

Well, there's there's a veritable flood, a joyous flood, will be, isn't it?

Pumping out.

Um,

this is too close to what's going on with your prune.

I was trying to engineer a switcheroo and I couldn't.

Or a switcher poo,

and I couldn't.

Right.

This is why we don't do Fifth Wednesdays.

This is why we don't.

So, thank you.

Thanks for listening.

Goodbye.

Cheerio.

Bye.