Adam Ray Drunk Texts The Rock, Lives and Dies with Seattle Sports and USC Football

So I'm in Arizona with my wife's family and they drink and we were hammered and doing karaoke and I send this long voice note.

My wife looks over and goes, who did you send that to?

And I go, Durock.

And she goes, delete it.

All right, welcome to another episode of Throwbacks.

Got a good one for you today.

Before we dive in, Maddie, I'm going to encourage everybody to follow us at Throwback Show on all social platforms.

Throwback Show on the YouTube page.

Leave comments, subscribe, like, all that stuff helps us out, keeps us motivated, and keeps us doing wild interviews with people that we have coming on today.

We're going to talk about him in one second.

We also got later on, Annie Agar coming back for another round of Twisted Tea trivia.

Matt, we're going going to have to rip it up this time around.

Last week was embarrassing.

Last week was embarrassing.

This week is a good one.

It's someone I know personally, ladies and gentlemen.

We are joined by a comedian who hails from the Pacific Northwest, but attended USC.

A Cal Raleigh home run makes his day.

He was there in East Rutherford, New Jersey, when his Seahawks crushed the Broncos to win their first Super Bowl.

And he's still waiting, sadly, sadly.

He's going to have to wait a long time for his Sonics to return to Seattle.

probably not going to happen.

Once a member of the Shorecrest high school football team,

he quit as a sophomore to play Danny Zucco in his production of Greece.

He's got great hair for Danny Zucco.

And I personally have seen him bully grown men on the basketball court.

And a lot of you know him from his amazing Dr.

Phil impression and his Joe Biden impression and 400 other impressions.

By the way, from football to the arts, the football wasn't in his blood.

We also, also, we went to school together.

We had some great stories together at our time at USC that you can only hear on this episode.

We're talking about Adam Ray, everybody.

Okay, Adam Ray, if you don't know him, you will after this episode.

Odds are you do, because like I said, you've seen him as Dr.

Phil, you've seen him as Joe Biden, and a hundred other things.

Also played Vince McMahon, which was awesome in the Rocks TV show.

What can he do?

What can he do?

Well, we're going to see if he could do a podcast right now.

So, joining us for a very, very fun sit-down, Adam Adam Ray, everybody.

So, real quick before we start, you just

Leonard said, you got a great voice, and then you said, You just got to what?

Is this real?

Did you just, what did you just know?

I like to make up fake stories.

That would be a great fake story.

Dude, when I worked at Universal Studios playing Wolverine, and I bring that up, people go,

Did you really do that?

I go, Why would I make that up?

What a specific

full tights, full uniform.

Oh, yeah, they actually made me, my boss made me take a three-week break to get in Wolverine shape.

I was like,

Universal.

Yes.

I go, you know, I'm not the real guy, right?

I'm a Jew in a spandex suit with fake claws.

And she's like, I just think, and I was actually in pretty good shape.

This is my freshman year at SC.

I was like, this is during SC?

So you're like, no, this was.

So

I was a tour guide first, 2003.

And then once I graduated in 05, I was like, this is actually a really fun job, but I'm making like $8.20 an hour doing the tour.

And the face characters made $23 an hour.

So I was like, oh, I got to do that.

I need a face character.

character, so yeah.

So, but I went into the like audition.

I didn't know anything about Marvel Comics.

I was like, you know, they're like, you come in, they're like, be in character, and then they ask you questions, and they're like, State your name.

And I was like, Wolverine, and they're like, Who are your friends?

And I was like, Matt, Troy, Kevin picked me up from the airport last week.

They're like, How about Storm and Captain America?

Because I don't know anything.

I was like, Yeah, they're cool.

And then, uh,

and anyway, so uh, it just paid more, but um, but she made me take a break.

She was like, hit the gym and like beef up.

Cause the main, I was number three, Wolverine.

Number one was was this guy named mark miller mark yeah mark

jack man real chops um real fangs you know had double halitosis but he was like jacked and rode a motorcycle just that cool guy that walks into the break room because you know the universal break room i mean it's like island of misfit toys like we'd have these company the break room meetings and they'd be like all right there's they're filming during the park today or steven spielberg's here or they're they're telemundo's here and like the guy is groucho mark so it'd be like me next to in between shrek and Marilyn Monroe.

I'm like, this is the time to be doing acid.

And then Groucho Marks would be sitting there and he raised his hand and be like, so can we

in character?

Well, not everybody, but like Groucho was.

And I would always like bust his chops.

I got to be cool with him.

And like, you know, Beetlejuice would ask a real question, but like, as

John, you know?

Right.

And then,

is lunch coming?

Are we going to eat?

Totally.

But he was like, the soap in the bathrooms as Groucho Marks.

And I was like, oh, man.

I hope so.

I got to get out of here.

It's a means to an end.

But, but so she made me take a break to like beef up.

And I remember like telling my mom that she's like, I don't think you're that fat anymore.

And I was like, I didn't know you thought I was fat to be him, but good to know.

Thanks, mom.

And so I like, I guess, went harder at 24-hour fitness shout out.

Which, by the way, last time I was at 24-hour, they closed at 11 p.m.

on a Saturday.

And I'm in line.

I got my headphones in.

It's the one on Sunset and Highland.

And I'm walking in.

And all of a sudden, I take my headphones out because I see some guy just going berserk.

And, you know, this is really, I guess, before people started putting people's outbursts online and getting dragged off airplanes.

So I see him freaking out.

And then he walks by me and I go, I go, I go, what's going on, my man?

He goes,

they're closing.

It's 24-hour

fitness and it's 11.

And I was like, that is

like, I don't think your reaction is warranted, but I'm definitely team, team crazy right now.

Well, one stone night, one of my boys pointed out when I was like 17, he's like, let me ask you something.

If it's 7-11, why are there locks on the doors?

I'm like, whoa, wow, dude, you just broke me.

Like, if they're never supposed to close, why you even got locks on it?

Did we really go to the moon, man?

Did we really

last?

The last time I was at 24-hour fitness in Hermosa Beach,

it's probably late.

It's like eight o'clock.

I'm doing the elliptical.

They stay open forever for you, right?

Yeah, just, yeah, I'm in there with about 150 people, and I get a call from my agent.

And this is kind of when I'm retired.

Actually, my last workout was up in Seattle for Pete.

By the way, pick Brady Quinn over me.

No.

I remember when you were in the running, and I was super pumped about that process.

It was bad.

That's all.

Brady Quinn over Brady Skeisman winning the championship quarter.

Yeah, that's wild, dude.

I didn't talk to Pete for like 10 years.

Are you kidding me?

Because of that.

That was the end of it.

I just said this the other day.

Yeah.

Anyway, the point of 24 hours, I get a call from my agent and he's like,

Buffalo wants you to come out.

And it was like,

it's my last time putting on a uniform.

So I'm on the elliptical.

He's like, they want you to fly out tonight.

I'm like, for what?

Like, there's a game in five days.

It's preseason four.

And you want the elliptical 24 hours.

I'm going to listen to

it.

I'm like this, like burning like 100 calories every two hours.

You're watching some like

young girl.

And he's like, you know, I've got two laptops.

And so I get there.

And honestly, I play like four days later.

And the fun part is I learned about Bill's mafia.

They were great.

The fans were great.

I threw three picks in eight pass attempts in the first half.

That was rapid.

And I was at halftime.

I kept my helmet on the second half.

I'm like, I'm so embarrassed.

I want to get the f ⁇ out of here.

That's when I met Josie, my now wife at the time that's the last time i've stepped foot in 20 so you met her in buffalo though i met no no i met her here okay i met her dating before i was like ready to i was ready to hang it up but it was like my last hurrah and i

you had to though right you know who had the similar which i you caught passes for these guys all those guys jordan palmer had the same story like three years later he got called they needed an arm for the game so they call him called in he's ready to go and literally he threw like three picks of the first half and he got don't go to buffalo to resurrect your your situation.

By the way,

there's not much to do in Buffalo.

There really isn't.

I mean, I did one comedy club there.

I mean, General Mills is there.

So if you like the smell of Cheerios on the freeway, prevalent.

Google Dolls, shout out.

They played my wedding.

They're from there.

They played at your wedding.

Oh, yeah.

I became Buddha.

Flex right there.

Google Dolls is fucking play at your wedding.

Yeah, actually, that's not even public.

I didn't even post about that because I thought that was too much of a flex.

But I'm going to say here.

Oh, you're breaking news on throwbacks.

What are they saying?

What do you mean?

What are they saying?

You know, every lyric to every song if you're trying to play a cool.

And I give up forever to touch you.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Good one.

And I don't want the world to see me.

Yeah.

Come on, man.

Name.

Wait, that's Black Blue.

Awesome.

Yeah, I met him at.

Is that the first dance?

They did Iris for the first dance, and then he played three more songs just for

and then kind of set up the

band.

But yeah, so went to Seattle to commentate the Hawks Chiefs game.

I want to be a broadcaster as a kid.

You got the voice.

That's how that song.

You got the voice.

I mean, you know, but also I was like, I got in there and I was like, should I put on, should I put on like a guy like this?

Should you start doing an impersonation of a voice?

Or should I do Keith Jackson and be like, you know, Matt Leonard, you know, from Southern California, you know, four inches hard.

You know, so what did you do?

You gave crazy stats.

Go back and check the tape.

I've got a lot of boner gas.

What voice did you just go with your own style?

I just went with the regular what I

really have a fucking.

Just tequila and weed, have your dad leave on your nine.

And,

but here, I got a little audio pulled up.

But it was awesome.

Steve Rabel has been the voice of the Seahawks for, for, man.

So, who was in there with you?

Steve Rabel and this guy, Dave Wyman, who used to play.

It was awesome.

First of all, I'm so, there's a guy named Jeff Schaefer who created the league, kind of Larry's right-hand man for Kerb, big Seattle fan, too.

And he did it.

I listened to his broadcast, and he was like Rain Man with the stats.

And like, he made

it.

He was calling it like he was in the Super Bowl.

Yeah.

And it's preseason.

And thankfully, I know Dave and Steve well enough and to feel comfy and have rapport and be able to like interject, interrupt.

At one point, Dave was giving some color.

Rayball gives a play-by-play.

He's like, just don't step on before or after.

But, you know, I've listened to him call somebody games.

You know the cadence.

I know the cadence.

I know when he's going to hit a period and I can jump in.

I kept trying to insert catchphrases.

So like Jake Bobo got a second touchdown and I was like, let me check my watch.

Oh, yeah, it's Bobo time.

Or like, I go, someone open back the kitchen up because they're serving a touchdown salad.

And then Ray will go, oh, Jesus.

He goes, I don't know.

And then I did it like three more times.

And at one point, Wyman started to fill in a story.

And I go, I go, Dave, yeah, shut up, dude.

No one one cares.

Anyway, so Steve, and then I started calling or whatever.

But

Steve, and I got a question for you off of this.

All right, here it is.

And it's a sand.

You should have gone passes to the man, and boom, goes to dynamite.

And he's run out of bounds.

Come on.

You keep running downhill to the right side, that play fake, and then roll back naked boot to the left.

Naked boot, you'll want to

somewhere.

Another one of your specials?

Probably in a band I was in in middle school.

The bass clarinet.

I got kicked out after two rehearsals.

naked

a 13 yard game this is gonna be a long night bro first than 10 strap in ethics

but that you know what's so funny i had you know i'm a cash fan right i mean i uh i probably i was a big college football fan growing up like for you dub but like it went up a notch like at a c it was because it was like religion and it was i mean dude i mean what a what a lucky thing to be at that school at that time bro it was wild and i'm now getting to like finally like tell you about i would i was telling jerry like i could probably rap with adam for hours on just like oh yeah because i get asked all the time

i literally like the number one question is like dude what was it like i'm like what do you mean like what was it like to be at usa i'm like for us it sounds kind of weird but like it just became norm like we were just like we were kids living there and we were just treated that way because that's that's all we knew yeah i would i would be curious because i obviously the story when you went on edelman who i love and he told that story i was like i didn't even know you in college right but we have a lot of mutual friends.

Um,

what was it like for you guys just in that time?

It was

bro, it was the you based your week around football.

I studied abroad in London for acting school my junior year, and I was so I almost didn't go because I didn't want to miss being around the season.

And my mom was like, You got like, you got one other year, you got to go.

And then she was like, At least audition if you don't get in, and then you know, yeah.

Um, and it was only four months, but still, it was like, you know, I was fucking just always checking in.

And, you know, what was it like, you know, but but I, uh, you know, we, I was in the, the frat for sophomore through senior year, but just lived there sophomore year.

And, uh, but just like walking over to campus, tailgating, it was like, it was an event.

And it was, you know, I don't think I'd been around a team, you know, hadn't the 90s Mariners run that like was electric and kind of took the city by storm, but I hadn't been in a city, especially like LA, where it was like just dominant.

And it was like everybody was all about it.

And like, no camaraderie.

Let me finish my my story, right?

And so there's...

No, I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

No one in Bill Teams.

No one built teams.

Providing some color.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're exactly right, though.

It was, you guys were like the main attraction in a city where there's Disneyland and Will Smith and two girls, one cup.

Like there's everything.

And so everyone was all about it.

The camaraderie, it was like, I mean, dude.

Sports, this is why I always chastise my friends that don't get into sports.

I'm like, it's not even about like,

if you didn't play, but dude, it's like, you know, there's people, I mean, my wife has gotten so into the Mariners and I've gotten to like, you know, roast a team and suit up and work out with them and now gotten to like, now Julio and I DM.

And it's like, she's way into it now.

And it's made us, you know, finally closer.

But no, but it's like.

Eight nights again.

Bro, it's a cooler thing to have to when she's like, oh, even when I was leaving to come here, she's like, oh, Mariners on right now.

They play at 10 this morning.

And I was like, fuck.

So I turned together.

But she's telling me that

there's rules.

It's a big marriage stuff when your wife's like, you know, you're going to miss the Mariners at 10 a.m.

first pitch.

Huge.

Yeah.

Not many people are watching the Mariners right now at 10 a.m.

No, I'm a dog.

You're dogging.

We're on the, I mean, we're not even rivals.

The season is so long, dude.

So you, yeah.

You all in on Cal.

You're all in.

All in.

Yeah.

All in.

I should have had.

There's this great clip.

He let me borrow his

bats before I took some practice swings.

400-pound bats.

Oh, yeah.

Hit a few deep into the outfield off our manager Dan Wilson.

And my buddy was out there taping some content.

And I give him the bat back.

I go, if you have a monster year, like MVP caliber, I go, this is the moment to remember that my hands touch your bat.

And he didn't get it.

And I was like, what a great, because he's having a historic year.

But,

but yeah, dude, SE football was,

you know, it's all anybody thought about.

Being at the stadium, first of all, Coliseum is just iconic.

Yeah.

The, the, everything became like heightened too.

It was like the horse running out at the start.

Just knowing, you know, it was like going to see Griffey.

I guess that's the best way to equate it for me, where it was like knowing that something special is going to happen every game.

That was a, that's something that you can't describe as a sports fan fully, where you're like, I'm just in the presence of

some of the craziest talent I'll ever see.

And we were just partying our ass off together, apparently.

Dude, yeah.

And we were getting lit, and you were wearing sweatpants.

Like, and just, I was like, God, is that what it takes?

Like, rolling in, just so high.

I used to wear big, I think you had a big white t-shirt and I think gray sweatpants.

Dude, I'll get it.

Rolling out of the night.

What is your white team?

All my YTs came from Slossen's.

Do you ever go to you wouldn't have gone to Slossons?

Jewish Deli?

What is it?

No, it's the

flea market, like in the middle of Compton.

Wow.

So my boys would take me to Slausson's.

And I'm like, and I'm like, fellas, I don't feel comfortable here.

Like, we're in the hood.

You're not supposed to go.

They're like, Maddie, you're good, dude.

You're with us.

But I was also starting then.

So I kind of felt like, oh, they'll probably recognize me.

You know, like, you're going in there.

I wore my SC gear, but that's where I used to get my white tees.

We used to get white tees.

We just get our white tees, our socks.

They sold like new era hats for cheap.

And that's where we got.

Well, I did get worried when you were on Edelman's show.

And this is how I, like, I always wanted you to come on.

I've like done pot, you and I go back.

Always, we'll get into that.

But I'm watching like the clip on Instagram, and it's like, oh, I got like a Leinert story.

I got the story.

And then you launch his own story.

So I immediately get nervous.

Yeah.

Well, I'm like, is this the Matt Leinert's a dick in college story?

I'm like, oh, I don't even know each other.

So you're like, he's going to be a little bit more.

I know Adam.

So I'm going to have to.

I'm going to have to massage this a little bit.

It's a super PG, bro.

No, it was a PG story.

Also, the story was PG.

And even if it was a great story, I have enough, you know, savviness to not bury him.

After I was Wolverine, I was a New York cop, which was just from a 1940s cop.

And I've got like this nightstick, and I'm walking around.

And get you.

At Universal.

Say it again.

At Universal.

At Universal, yeah, they still got it.

They took all the Marvel characters out because Disney bought them.

So this cop is rolling around.

Again, it was fun.

I like, you know,

who did I, I used to rip it up with Stamos walked through.

I'd blow my whistle.

I'd go, hey, Slaughter, it's not a race, sir.

I go, Veras Eston's not going to run out of hair jail.

And he just went like, nice.

And and uh and then uh

michael jackson i saw came through one one day and tried to do a bit with him but his security got in my face real quick

and then uh dave matthews and his family came through and i just seen him at the hollywood bowl the night before and so i'm doing all these bits with his family and they're like hey copper is there a place to get a beer around here i was like there's an irish bar irish pub down the street you know why don't you tell the family off you come with me dave so we walk down the street and then i'm just like hey man i was at the show last night you guys ripped it and he goes oh and he goes can you break character i go dude i don't want to be here man

I go, you're the man, you know?

And then he was like, oh, and then we, I take him to the little pub.

There's like one little spot you can drink at upstairs.

And he's like,

I feel weird asking, but do you want a drink?

I go, dude, I would love nothing more

than to just rip this stash off and get hammered with you.

But this is my job and money's not terrible.

And I don't want to weigh tables.

And I was like, can I at least get a picture?

And what's crazy is that I just, my buddy plays Sachs in the band, Jeff Coffin.

And so I went out and saw him in New Hampshire for two nights and got to kind of like talk talk to him for the first time and tell him that story.

And he was like, I vaguely remember that.

I remember getting walked to a pub by one of the characters.

I go, that was me, man.

But yeah, Edelman,

I think, wanted something juicy.

And I was like, I was like, sorry, man.

Mini was a good guy back.

We trained a bunch, worked like out this way in the South Bay.

But yeah, I'm trying to think like, God, we had, I'm sure we probably ran.

I'm sure you were what the API was like.

A pie was definitely a party house.

So I told Jerry, so I was like, at least for the football side, I felt like I kind of, I got along with everybody, I think, but there were some frats who hated us, like those guys.

And we probably had a lot of dicks on our team at point.

Dude, there's so many juiced up young males at SC.

And by the way, SC is a lot different now.

It's like, if you walked on campus, it's like.

It's probably why we suck now, but whatever.

But we used to go to like a movie, a movie, like every training camp for the University Flagship Theater.

It was,

it was like a Magic Johnson theater.

Actually, it wasn't even that nice.

It was like a Sedale 3 theater.

It was like, that's a deep guy.

It was like a deep.

It was like Vladi Devots's.

It was like you could smoke in there.

You was, dude, it was a Yugoslavian nightmare.

It was just, but it was like,

I think it had three screens.

People were definitely getting sucked off in there.

It was, I went and saw half baked and the line was

at the university.

Oh, bro, this is a great story.

So it's, there's probably, I don't know, this theater holds three, 500 people.

And so all these potheads are in line.

And the theater, everyone's there early because everyone says, Well, we get hanging get there.

And like, you know, when you get super baked, you just, your time management is bad.

So everyone's there an hour before the theater even opened.

So we're all in line,

just high and cottonmouth.

And we're standing there, and everyone's just looking at each other.

And it was so funny because, like, everyone you looked at in line was just like, you just look over and just like lock eyes with someone and be like,

you know, like that, be like, fire it up, you know?

And then we got in there.

And I'd say about 20, 30 minutes into the movie, the projector.

By the way, and I'm, and everyone's just, you just feel, you can, you know, sometimes you go into a movie, like, like, let's say you go into see like Hangover, like on the opening night, Thursday, there's energy in the arc light or whatever it is, you know, your people are making noise and they're fired up for the film.

Half-baked, it was just like quiet, dude.

Everyone's just baked out of their mind, just the stoniest conversation, calibrated it to peak at the right moment.

Yeah, you just hear like sidebar conversations.

They're like, yeah, yeah, think about getting a new January backpack.

And think about my found new cool hiking trailer.

Well, no, you can bring your dad.

You can bring your daddy.

How's your dad doing?

Zero energy.

No energy.

So the reel catches on fire.

And so about 20 minutes in, everyone just watching a movie, laughing.

I mean, the energy was great for the film.

And then like a little fireball just like starts to trickle in the middle of the screen and then just spreads to the whole screen.

So the whole screen catches on fire.

You guys are probably like, it doesn't.

This is, oh, we freaked the f ⁇ out.

What a good movie.

300 strangers all went,

myself included.

It just was not something you anticipate on happening.

And it didn't look like CGI.

It looked like the theater was about to burn down.

So everyone starts freaking out.

And then immediately some dickhead turns the lights on.

So stoned, eyes are cast.

You're in the dark.

It's like, vanity.

And then the lights go on and it was another, ah,

and everyone's freaking out.

Everyone stood up.

People started running out of the theater because they thought like we were all going to die.

I saw one guy get up to run out, hilariously goes back, grabs his Sour Patch kids, no snack left behind, runs out.

And then some guy comes out and he's like, so

the movie has caught on fire.

We will be issuing refruns.

refruns and everyone's just like

and then we all went out and then he went to the 90.

Gave away some sight.

We went to the 90, which was the campus bar.

Yeah.

Okay, it's time real quick for the fresh take of the week presented by Wendy's Wake Up with Wendy's breakfast, which I like breakfast for dinner sometimes, Matty.

I'm not going to lie.

Oh, absolutely.

So this week we were thinking, what's a nice fresh take?

Well, more importantly, I'm just going to ask it this way, Matt.

What's a worse way to lose a game?

Now, I come from the fan perspective.

You come from the professional athlete perspective.

I feel like I'd rather,

well, there's, there's two ways.

I'd rather get my butt kicked.

Like a blowout.

I'd rather have a blowout.

I'd rather sit on the sideline, be down 35 to seven and be like, wow, I mean, that's, that's just, that sucks.

Like, that's just what you get.

Like, it just sucks.

Then, then losing on a last second.

There's nothing more demoralizing than we did this.

I was in Houston.

We played Jacksonville Jaguars and David Gerrard

threw up a Hail Mary, one of those Hail Marys where all you have to do is knock it down, right?

And we were winning.

We knock it down into the receiver's hands.

He ends up scoring a touchdown and we lost.

And we were just, I'm actually getting goosebumps thinking about it.

We just were like sitting there like,

did that just happen?

And that's how we lost a game.

There's nothing worse than that.

When you're winning a game, you have it in the bag, then all of a sudden you lose on the last second.

I think Jaden Daniels ended the Bears season last year with a Hailmare.

I just think mentally they were done.

That is a crushing way, and I'm with you.

The blowouts, I feel, whether it's a pro athlete, POV, or even as a fan, yeah, it sucks to be on the couch in the third quarter if the Knicks are down 35.

And I'm like, but then you watch something else.

You move on easy.

Also seeing like, like, you know, you go back to the Patriots Falcons Super Bowl.

I've been in games like this this where it's like the comeback, right?

And you're sitting on the sideline.

Again, another example.

I've been a part, a lot of these that we were up 12 against Texas in the national championship game with five minutes left.

And now 12 is not a 12 is not a comfortable lead.

But in that moment, mentally, I thought we're like, oh, the game, we're like, this is it.

Back to back.

And then you just, you just see it slip away.

Like the slow burn is a really, really good thing.

And do you guys really start getting tight when you start to feel like, wow, they're getting all the great things are starting, like the momentum is changing?

That's where, that's where the coaches come.

That's where, that's where great coaching comes in because you got to, you got to do something.

You got to, you see all this with coaches like Falcons, right?

Kyle Shanahan, like got away from the run, run the ball, you know, in that Super Bowl, get away from what?

Because you have such a comfortable lead.

Then all of a sudden, and then you start to get a little nervous.

You're like, oh, it's 28, 17.

What do we do?

Like, then you start to second guess.

I was thinking about this.

And there's a lot of bad ways to lose in sports.

One, and I mean, I got to be honest with you,

people have gone down.

Scoring your own goal in a softer net.

I was thinking about that.

I'm like, dude, we're to lose, to do that, to lose again.

By the way, we've seen some bad things happen to guys who score in their own goal.

Like, can you imagine?

Because you know how important, I mean, like, overseas and all of those things.

That's pretty bad.

Well, it brings up a bigger conversation, too.

I think you're right.

I think it's, and by the way, while you were talking, I just watched the Gerrard Harold Mary.

Gosh, that is

a horrendous way to lose.

And that's probably the worst.

I still have no patience for, you know, my feelings on kickers and stuff.

I have no patience for kicker lining up, a little chip shot, 30-yarder wide, right?

Like the Bills lost a Super Bowl like that, even though it wasn't quite a chip shot.

But then you start thinking others, like combat sports, right?

What's a worse?

Just getting absolutely KO'd.

Well, you've definitely seen the videos on social with the cocky fighter who's like sticking his chin out, sticking his tongue out, and it just gets knocked out, stiffens up.

I will say, too, like getting choked out, obviously, physically, it doesn't feel good, but it's got to be pretty embarrassing.

You got to just because you, you don't know what happened.

You have to wake up and watch it later, you know, you have to wake up.

Someone has to give you a wake-up call, and you have to watch on the phone.

What happened?

I got a funny one, dude.

And it doesn't probably apply to us, but gamers, what if your Wi-Fi or internet goes out right when you're doing it?

That's that's happened to me.

That is the the worst.

That makes me rage.

That's rage for me.

And yeah, even I will say too,

just in any sport, the bad referee call.

Yeah, like some there's a lot of great ones.

What's the worst way to lose a game?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, what about basketball?

Like a three-quarter shot, three-quarter court throw, heave.

Like you've seen those usually happens in like high school.

You don't see that in the pros.

Just, all right, you're up to guy throws it up from 70 feet and hits it.

Ball game.

Fortunately, it has not happened in like playoff situations.

That's got to be a pretty bad way or a missed free throw.

Well, missed field goal.

I've been a part of those, as you said.

Those, those, those just make you want to punch somebody in the face.

That's it.

They just make you want to be like, are you kidding me, dude?

Just make it.

Just make it.

Just make it.

I do think I'm going to make my train my kids to be field goal kickers because

long snapper, bro.

Long snapper.

Well, my point is, like, if you have like a there's a lot of pressure on a kicker, dude.

Think about Boswell, though.

If you could handle that pressure, like Boswell is got, like, he could make a fortune now if he ever wanted to leave because he is reliable.

If you are a reliable kicker right now,

you have a lot of power.

But you can be a long snapper, play 20 years in the NFL, make a couple mil a year.

Bare, I mean, you're getting hit a handful of times because you have to go cover it because the long snapper, then you're a short, you're the long snapper and short snapper.

So, like, on punt and stuff, you're actually going out to try and tackle.

But, dude, I don't know.

I feel like Adam Vinatieri's dad must be really proud.

Just sitting there and be like, my son's a Hall Hall of Fame kicker, bro.

Yeah.

So I want to, maybe Jacob Ferrara could follow an Adam Vinatier.

Your kids are going to be in the front office, dude.

Fair enough.

Yeah.

Shout out to Wendy's.

Not a bad place to be.

I'm going to go have some breakfast for dinner tonight.

That's our favorite thing to do in the Ferrara house.

All right, let's get back to the show.

You were at USC 4 Acting?

Like, what were you kind of...

I went to, I auditioned to get to the school theater.

My SAT scores were like 1170 and the mean average for VMC.

That's solid, though.

I guess.

I would have tipped that in a second.

Bro, the the mean average for my freshman class

is 1520.

Oh, God.

I didn't know it went that high.

Yeah.

So they were like.

1600, I think, is like 1600.

It means you're a Asian.

So the,

or smart, but a lot Asian.

I see, that's not racist.

But so,

so I go down there and I'm like, I should audition for the acting school.

Cause if I get in, this is what the admission guy told me.

He's got, if you get to the acting school, they'll recommend you to the to the school.

And they'll basically be like, we're taking this guy, so you have to take him.

So I was like, okay yeah because i wanted to like minor in business and and uh and have other things to do but if you're in the acting school you're all about it monday through friday you get your own class shows it's i mean i'm glad i did it because it was a way better program you're so i was like i was telling you i was talking to some of your boys to get some stories but yeah every one of your boys basically said

dude he's he was a grinder even in college he always wanted to entertain it was like 24 7 they were giving me like funny shit the wolf like you you did like a version of like mtv cribs at a house or something.

Okay.

Bro, yeah.

I just was, I don't know.

I, I,

and not, yeah, not even for, I guess once I started to kind of figure out that I could make people laugh, it wasn't a thing I like tried.

I never felt like I was trying to do it.

It was just like, it's just fallen naturally.

Even as a kid, I would do, I was like, oh, it'd be funny to impersonate this teacher or coach or, and then, and then I started to like be decent at, you know, that people could tell a story and, or not, like, especially in high school, you can tell pretty quick, like who can keep people's attention and i just whether it's i was doing plays and stuff so i felt comfy to do that but i something would happen to people like oh dude tell them what happened so it was a lot of that and then i would just be put on the spot and then uh you know i bought groceries at albertson's in high school so i became friends with a lot of the older kids so that made me comfy around older kids so then you know what i'm saying like it all but like i never was like trying to be like i'm gonna be the funny guy was there but did you like because you got you went to acting for acting you wanted to entertain isolate that sentence.

Yeah.

What a great bro.

And clearly, Matt didn't major in communication.

Yeah, my bad.

You went to school for class.

I didn't go to class too often.

Bro, Mike Williams was in.

I mean, now I got to tell you one of my classes.

Mike.

Short-lived Seahawk.

Mike was in one of my classes.

It was.

And it was like the first time I was like friends with him.

I saw him one time, probably the whole semester.

Maybe three or four.

Yeah.

But it was like, it was, I want to say it was sex in the ancient world or was it was a, it was an English class.

but either way he was there briefly and I was just like I remember jokingly I go I go Mike

human being of all time enormous I think I want to say six six in yeah 240 uh

blood type oh negative pin number four two six five he was so big and I remember jokingly being like yo Mike uh will you like write this paper for me I'm like really like

behind and he goes he goes man he was like I was gonna ask you I go dude I was joking I definitely don't want you writing anything for me and um but yeah beast of a guy but just being

he was so cool and he like he he was so generous to like me and a couple other buddies when we would ask questions about the team and i was like he he could tell and i'm sure you're the same way where when people fan out you're like oh yeah like this was such a special time so like let me give him a couple animals

what was what i was trying to say before i couldn't spit it out was the vision to be

a comedian or just something was that in college or you just were kind of like this is what i want to entertain for a living right i think so yeah when did you like so i played uh all the sports in high school and then did the play freshman year.

And I was able to do freshman football and the play.

And like, I'd leave practice sometimes a little early, like when we were in tech rehearsals to go do it.

And they, my freshman coach and the acting

head of the acting program just made it work.

And then I got the sophomore year.

And like, as a kid, we would take field trips in elementary school to our high school for the productions because they were such a big part of in Seattle.

Like theater's great, but like these productions were just like top, top notch.

So when I get there, I was like, oh, to be in these plays would be pretty cool.

And then sophomore year, they're going to do Greece.

The guy who directed the freshman plays hit me up and was like, I just want to make sure you're auditioning because I think you'd be a great Danny Zucco.

The only other guy auditioning is this Korean guy named Danny Park.

You got him.

You'll get him.

You'll get it.

I think you have a pretty good shot.

And so I was playing football and I was getting pretty jacked.

Just, you know, but again, a six-foot-Jew.

I'm like, I'm not going pro.

I'm playing for fun.

Basketball is my sport that if I was like six foot,

he could play.

Yeah, I mean, I mean, and I'm like, I I would love to see you.

He could play.

And I'm physical.

Like, I definitely caused a couple scuffles with Jerry's homies.

I heard.

Yeah, he told me.

But you know what, dude?

Here's the thing.

I was always like, and I'm to this day, even like, my wife hates this because on the plane, like, I don't want a citizen's arrest anybody.

Let me just say that.

I'm a nice guy.

I'm kind.

I'm fucking, I pay it forward.

I'll buy the coffee behind me.

I, you know, I, I definitely got a little bit of a kerfuffle at a Wetzel's pretzels a few weekends ago because I tried to buy the pretzel for a kid behind me.

He had Down syndrome.

He took it offensively.

He was like, like, You want to buy my fucking pretzel?

So, whatever, tomato tomato, Ray Romano should happen.

But so

I try to not get involved with people and, like, unless they're an asshole.

This guy was addicted to my wife on the plane.

I go, dude, you should just like walk back to your seat.

Like, we're going to have an issue.

We're not going to have a fucking issue.

I was like, oh, man.

I go, I've never hit a grown man who definitely buys his clothes at the gas station, but like, dude, if you can just keep, and I'm trying to like kill it with kindness and be funny,

diffuse it with jokes, but which is probably robbing them up more totally but in basketball games like there's a lot of guys that want to be physical and dirty and then think they just want to get away with it and i'm like so i think i was making jokes which when you're playing hoops like and you're getting like razzdon and you don't know the new guy but like a couple of the guys and i wish you remember their names were just down low i put a body on a guy i remember fundamentals i would box out and i'd get bows right after because it was like oh this guy's gonna box dude was the dude was not the dude who you kind of got into it with like that's not his mo normally you you oh man That makes me feel not great.

No, you had, like, you know, he's actually

imagine how you're doing.

You rodmanned him a little bit.

You, you almost got a little Dennis Rodman.

I guess I did.

Yeah,

you were playing well.

You were missing some loose balls.

And I was new to rocking and staying.

Is this the Beverly?

Is this Beverly Hillsley?

That game still goes on, by the way.

Long after I'm gone, and that they still play like Monday and Friday.

I'm going to talk Hooper, though.

I mean, we're talking Kenny Anderson, meets Nick Van Exel, meets Kendall Gill.

He's only seen the bad versions.

JJ Berea.

J.J.

Berea.

That's my comp.

Great comp.

That's my company.

We've played basketball once.

We played basketball once.

How's your game?

I'm pretty good.

It was a disappointment.

It's annoying, like flicking through.

Like, Molly.

Oh, you're just lefty.

He looks like Chris Molly.

He's playing with

Sammy Darnold.

And he's got a jumper.

He was great in high school.

I mean, like, dude, tall.

Like, how do we feel about the ginger taking over the team?

Awesome.

I love Sammy.

Couldn't love him more.

Meadow.

The Red Hammer.

The Red Hammer.

The Red.

That's what we're calling him.

Yeah, we.

He's a beast.

We started a nickname because you know a story about his grandpa, right?

Marlborough.

His grandpa was the Marlborough man.

man.

That's right.

He just showed me

his acting name was Dick Hammer.

That was his acting name.

Let's just rank great porn star names.

Of all time.

Dick Hammer's pretty good.

My aunt Shirley, R.I.P.,

she dated a guy in her home.

Her and my uncle were married for six to five years.

He got old-timers.

They had to split up.

Whatever.

He passed.

Sweet guy.

She's in the home.

I go, Shirley, how you doing?

She's like, I've got a new boyfriend.

I go, what's his name?

She goes, Dick.

I go, I didn't ask why you were dating him.

She goes, oh, stop that.

And I go, what's his last name?

She goes, Justice.

I go, you're dating Dick Justice?

I go, did you meet him before or after?

He was a gay porn star slash detective from the 40s.

Dick.

And she goes, I go, I got to meet this guy.

She goes, he can't.

He died six days ago.

That's my life.

I make friends and then they die.

Great.

All right.

I love you, Shirley.

All right.

She could never say back.

You got to write a character named Dick Justice.

Dick Justice.

I mean, so Dick Hammer.

Dick Justice.

At the Laugh Factory, I did this set once where there was a whole group of porn stars and porn directors.

And I think this clip is on my IG.

The guy's name was Will Pounder.

And I go, Will Pounder?

I go, What names weren't taken?

Must fucker, and like, every other thinking about plugging it, like, what, yo, but Will Pounder?

There is a there's that's a comedy porn name.

There's a Lena the plug, that's one Lena to plug.

You guys think about it.

I think guys think about the porn name the way girls think about the stripper name, right?

But stripper names have that thing where it's like your street name.

That's I would say mid, like, oh, we did middle name and street name.

Mine's actually pretty good for porn or for porn, yeah, Stephen Diamond.

Oh, Matt,

be your last episode because it's time to shift gears.

It's time for the kids.

I'll tell my life,

Stephen Diamond.

It did bother me because I just didn't love that.

That was the one time you came and you had not a great experience.

I mean, I'm sure you had fun playing ball with me.

I felt bad that I

put an asterisk on our friendship.

No, no, it didn't.

But anything, I think it made it as a closure.

The fact that you were cool about it and you were like,

like, I was like, all right, Jare's the man, because I was like, definitely like, that was not,

I should have kept my composure.

When was this?

This was on, oh, god, this was

in our game.

Oh, in the basketball game.

We met 2014, 15.

Yeah, and

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I told Matt this, it's like, I don't remember how we got killed.

I don't know if you reached out or somehow, because I had started my podcast.

You were doing about last night with Brad.

And you're like, come on, like, I went to a Johnny drama

conference or like it was like where they have like furry conventions.

It was a drama convention and everyone there was like, hey, fucking Arvy, why don't you get me on CSI Detroit?

His drama person is a funny way to do that.

Which you get me the first time with it at your show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But so, no, I, I hit you up on iTunes.

You knew Doug or something.

Right.

And there was a connection, though.

There was someone we either knew or someone you had.

Somebody had you on their pod that I knew, I think.

Right.

So, hey, you invited me over.

I come.

And I feel like I walk in.

There's you, there's Brad.

You had like another roommate at the time.

You were like right by like the laugh actor.

Right.

Laurel in Hollywood.

Yeah.

And, and at one point, I think you, you interviewed me for 20 minutes as Tony Danza.

Is that ringing a bell?

And I was like, this guy's fucking great.

These are the interviews I want to do.

Yeah, dude.

You stayed as Tony Danza for like 20 minutes, throwing me questions.

So this is why, like, you know, and I'm trying to, there, my buddy, we did this Dr.

Phil sketch for the Eagles Commanders NFC Championship game last year,

where I was like, you know, showing up all these books, like to, you know, just just wordplay books for the like Jaden Daniels and Jalen Hurts.

And so I'm going to do like four or five more sketches this year for games trying to interview Sammy D as one of my characters.

And Sam's all about it because he's like, yeah, dude, any chance to do something different

normal interview.

Like, I mean, this is why what went wrong?

What do you guys need to do next week?

Play better and win.

Yeah, more like I'm going to be like, you know, this zitted up ponytail.

Like, what's up, man?

So, Sam Darrell here.

So, is it, can you throw the ball farther because your hair is so freaking red?

Or like, are you on?

What's the zip fucking personation?

Jeremy, yeah.

That's Jeremy.

Just based on Jeremy's great in high school, Jeremy's fucking awesome.

Oh, I appreciate it.

We're making a sketch show hybrid with Kimmel based on him.

So stay tuned.

Probably calling your talents.

I went to my buddy's Magic the Gathering night.

I was back home during SC and just started smoking weed.

And I was like, just Jones in.

Dispensaries were not around Seattle yet.

And I hit him up and I was like, dude, where,

where do you, where can I get away?

Where the weed at?

Where's the weed at?

Where the weed at?

And uh he's like i'm having a magic the gathering game right now and we're getting pretty baked if you want to come play and he's a kid i did plays with in high school mark goodwin sweet kid uh great actor and and definitely didn't seem like not a magic guy but didn't seem like the guys that were there the guys who were there were this character jeremy i was doing and then some i mean and they were getting in fights and i was trying to like understand the game but it'd be a fly on the wall but i'd make jokes being like oh i don't think you should do that and the guy go can you

mark can you tell your friend that this isn't we're not around right now and like serious bro it was awesome and so jeremy is a direct from one of the guys i wish i could remember his name but um where it was just like and also i like playing characters that are you know everyone's fought i like the michael scott you know, looking at life through their set of goggles.

They're not bad people.

They're just aloof.

And they like, the Jeremy guy, it's like, I don't know, this 38-year-old man boy that hasn't really, he has never really had a job.

He's like, he's not a dick, but he just is like a little, probably more outspoken than he should.

He doesn't have the social skills.

Totally, dude.

Doesn't have enough life reps to really know, but also unabashed and

will go out in public.

He's not like a nice person.

Great interviewer.

That makes a great interview.

Great interviewer.

Great interviewer.

Yeah, we just had this episode with Adam Devine.

I've done a few with Joel McHale.

I saw.

I saw.

Yeah, Devine was fun, but Devine was like the first one to kind of rev him up a little.

But yeah,

the Sammy D thing is awesome, man.

I met him.

Sanchez and I had had a short-lived podcast.

And so we met Sam through that.

Yeah.

It's called Fourth and Forever.

We did it in the same studio where all the smoke happened.

So Stephen Jackson, Matt Barnes, and then we were in the other corner.

No, this was probably 2018, 2019, right before COVID.

And

which wasn't real.

And so we get down there and we're doing the pod.

And I'm like, I'll bring all these comedians.

Come on, take the vaccine.

It works.

I got it.

I told Aaron Rodgers when I was doing the Joe Biden and Shang Gils was doing Trump at Madison Square Garden.

Aaron Rodgers came out at the end, this kill Tony to throw footballs out.

And I went to him, I go, and I go, Aaron, I go, how you doing?

And he goes, he goes, oh, he goes, hey, man, big fan.

Like saying, I think to me, I go, shut the fuck up.

He goes, the vaccine works, you prick.

Come on.

And they started laughing.

And I was like, Can I throw a couple footballs?

And he was like, yeah, go for it.

I was like, dude, thank you, man.

You're the man.

But yeah, he didn't.

They wanted us to do like more X's and O's.

So we were having, we got Miles Teller when he was about to do Top Gun.

We had, you know, Deshaun Watson, Pre-Massage.

We had fucking Jason Kelsey.

We had Sammy D.

I got us Carissa.

And then I had all these comics lined up.

And it was going to be a real, what was fun about it is that like, I was, you know, Mark was, you know, obviously all the football talk, but I'm, you know, fan, eyes of the audience and asking questions.

Yeah.

But we had a great rapport right out of the gate.

So he was like, let's do this.

And then, yeah, so we went to the Super Bowl and the Pro Bowl and we were doing all this and we were really going to make it a thing.

And I was all into it because I was looking for something like that to really put all my eggs into podcast-wise.

And then Showtime Sports was like, Yeah, just X's and O's, no, no, no comedy stuff.

Just have Mark go around, interview these guys, and he'll tell you it wasn't not his guy.

And I would text him every

he had lock it on over Zoom, and I'm like, That's my boy.

He's like, He didn't ask him this, he had asked him this.

He went to interview Herbert, I think, when he was at Oregon.

Team him up for the X's and No.

So, Mark, what did you make on that?

Totally.

I don't see him

for you sitting there too.

I wish I had this great drunk voicemail of Mark just be like, I'm not doing this show without you, man.

and it was so sweet dude he's i love mark he did dude and i was like he just was getting his analyst game going and he's so good he's great and i was gonna tell you a funny sanchez story after this no i'm right but he um but uh no pay please and so he goes uh i go you got you can't screw up your shit you got to just you know keep going and then it slowly phased out i think because he got busier but but sammy met him then And, you know, I was in Minnesota last year doing shows and went to kick it with him.

And he sent out all his boys to the shows.

And I was there Thursday through Saturday.

And he had Green Bay on Sunday.

I think there were 4-0 at this point.

And he's rolling.

And it's Friday afternoon.

I go, he's 10 minutes from the club.

And I go, well, come to the early show and then go home.

He's like, got to cran in.

I got to study.

And I'm just like, love that.

Awesome.

Leave that.

He could have come to the show.

And been home by nine.

Not even.

And been, it was, I think, a 7 p.m.

early show.

And so I was then pretty impressed.

And he said he got his PhD in football in San Fran, and he just seemed different than when I met him eight years ago.

And so now just being up there this past week and going to camp and all that, he's just

amazing.

So it's way cooler that my homie's my quarterback, which is, it sounds like a Judy Bloombook, but,

but he's just like dialed in, dude.

And mature and poised.

And like, he's also ready to be the guy.

I mean, you know, like, what a different thing to be bouncing around.

He thought he was going to stay in Minnesota,

but he didn't know.

He's like, I'm playing to just like show that I can be here.

But Seattle's a great, I mean, it's a good organization.

Like really.

And that head coach is great.

Brady Quinn loved it.

Yeah, he did.

He loved it.

He was there for two months.

Wait, that sucks.

Because Matt and I talk about this because we had Justin Thomas, a golfer on the show.

I'm a huge golf nut.

And like the Masters was coming out.

Matt's like, so if he's like leading the Masters, like going into Sunday, I could like text him, right?

I'm like, I would not text him.

And he did.

That's, by the way, I asked you.

I didn't fucking say it's Sunday.

Or leading.

I said early in the early.

Like Saturday.

Saturday.

By the way, I would have texted him and be like, let's fucking go.

I don't expect you to.

Well, that's what I want to ask you.

Now you know Darnold.

If I text you before a show and I'd be like, dude, let's go.

You would be like, hell no.

Would you text Darnold?

Give him a call right right now and see what happens.

Let's face it.

Does he pick up?

I love the does he pick up.

It's just testing the uh testing your friendship limit.

You're, I'm gonna, and I'm gonna call Sanchez.

Oh, he's calling Sam.

Wait, one at a time.

Go, go.

I gotta.

Should I call Russ?

I mean, what quarterback can I?

You're the quarterback.

Oh, Sam, just testing the friendship.

He might be in camp having a meeting.

By the way, they're talking about practice.

Is it?

Oh, yeah.

Wait, what time is it?

It's two.

What's going on right now?

Call Schneider.

You don't know, Sam.

Darnold.

Hey, come on, man.

You don't know.

Snowdarn.

What I was going to ask you was:

if it's while you try to get the same, I'm going to send him this picture.

We look up Maddie Schmidt, Pearly Whites.

Yeah, that's what he's missing out on.

That's true.

He's probably not taking any reps.

Yeah, he

we got a winner.

Wow.

Dinner.

Dinner.

He tried to call Darnold.

I said, I'm going to call my boy Sanchez.

Oh, shit.

Dude,

Scotty.

Scotty, didn't we match on Tinder like an hour ago?

Hey, what happened to your pod with Adam, bro?

We'll be right back.

We'll get to the mic so you can hear it.

We're recording throwbacks right now.

Wait, Mark.

Mark,

Mark, I was telling him when you left me the drunk voicemail being like, I'm not doing the show without you, man.

I was about to tell the story when we cut your hair in camp.

Hey, Mark, where are you, Panera?

All right, let her go.

Love you, buddy.

So the question is,

say,

Seahawks Niners.

Seahawks need the game to basically lock in a playoff spot.

Are you texting Sam Darnold the night before?

Thank you.

Oh, I got no problem with it.

yeah, but you got to.

Or do you do like, hey, I'm going to leave him alone.

He's probably in his zone.

It's

acquired skill set to know like, you know, reading the room on that.

Right.

But also, what's the relationship like?

He'll hit me up.

He

texted me about something, comedy thing about getting into some shows with his buddy's bachelor party.

And then I just FaceTime him and then he picked up and he was at the wedding.

And then we chatted for a bit.

And then he's, so he's hit me up at weird.

He's broken into that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, but guess what?

Like,

you know, I have people hit me up sometimes like going out to the he just texts back the like i'm going on stage for the show the boys just landed in green bay um oh they have a game pro be like dude i need a photo tell him just say face time you roll you liar yeah uh

you liar say with liner face time you with maddie

i think with jt

i don't know him that well but based on that i'd be like let's go i think he would have been fine with it but i just like my my thought is always like don't bother the guy when he's locking in oh no i mean i i so yeah i'll have friends hit me up like right before i go into it you rather walk on in front of thousands of people i'm i mean i you know i'm just yeah i don't know you you i think it's also when when you don't want to do it because you don't want that like left on red or any sort of rejection oh i crossed the line

i crossed the line bro when i first started so i played Vince McMahon on the rock show about his life on NBC.

So it got pretty chummy with Dwayne and call him Dwayne.

And he,

you know, was messaging with him a couple of hours ago.

And, but it's sporadic.

It's not like every day.

It's sometimes it's a month goes by.

Sometimes it's three times in two weeks, right?

Depending on whatever's going on or he'll mess me if he saw something or whatever.

But he's a chill, normal dude.

And it's at that point where I can, but early on when I was doing the show and like, we were voice noting a lot and about the show and about comedy and, and, you know, single mom, just a lot of just shit where it was like, oh, we're like, we're boys.

This is happening.

Totally.

Romance.

And I'm, so I'm in Arizona with my wife's family, and we're, they're very Arizona, and I love them.

And fucking, we got married down there, and they, they drink.

And we were hammered and doing karaoke and in North Phoenix.

And we're in their back patio.

And it's, we're just going for it.

And I had some idea for a t-shirt for him.

And I sent him this long voice note.

My wife looks over and goes, what did you just, who did you send this?

What did you just do?

And I go, The Rock.

And she goes, delete it.

I go, you can't.

It's too late.

And man, I mean, I wish I could play his response, but it was like, oh, he did respond, respond, but not for a good two and a half, three weeks.

And I was like, I'm not going to follow up and act like I didn't send that or be like, hey, man, did you get my t-shirt idea?

So thankfully, he like responded three weeks later.

But, but yeah, you got to feel it out, dude.

I mean,

but I pride myself on not having the, oh, I sent this thing and I got nothing.

I pride.

You overthink a lot of shit, though, with that.

But are you guys like before big games?

You're not like sitting there on your phone anyway, right?

Yeah, but it wouldn't bother me like if you sent me a text like the morning of a game i probably just wouldn't look at it but it wouldn't and i get i get to it after the game right but it wouldn't bother me did you have a strict thing like that where it was like once i get to the locker room no phone no phones are allowed really now it's different but we didn't got dudes on

no one was on their phone we were locked in

Andy Agar coming in for week two, courtesy of Twisted Tea.

Grab a refreshing Twisted Tea today.

They also sent me this very nice football, which I don't think this is regulation, buddy.

I don't know.

I mean, you just got small hands, bro.

Small hands.

The hands match the height of you, which is about 5'5.

So 5'5'6, you giant.

And he's still tiny

and Kyler Murray.

I did see Bryce Young standing next to Matt at the Fanatics party, and I was like,

My boy, I know.

Oh, yeah.

That's my, I know Bryce since he was like in freshman and high school.

So that's wild.

How tall are you tall, Nat, right?

I tell you, six.

Oh, yeah, I'm 6'5.

Sneaky tall.

6'6 in my Air Force Ones.

Never wrong.

I was gonna guess that.

6'6.

All right, before we're gonna do some more twisted trivia and hopefully, Matt have a better outing.

Before, though, just want to check in, you know, with my Packer fans here.

Huge week one.

Commanders, Packers tonight.

Yes.

Your thoughts going into this Thursday night football game.

What a great week one.

A little concerned about the shortness of the week.

I kind of forgot, honestly, that we played Thursday night this quickly.

And we don't have another NFC North team for like 10 weeks.

It's a little, it's great because I know that's what we struggled with last year, but I'm feeling good.

Vibes are high.

Micah played, what was it, like 40% of the snaps and

almost every single one.

Looked amazing.

So I was on a Green Bay Packers pod and they asked me what it was, what the vibes were like, what the feeling was like seeing him come on the field, you know?

And I screenshot it on Twitter because I, seeing him in a Packers jersey walk into the huddle, amazing.

I've never experienced anything like that before.

I told somebody, I've not been engaged.

I don't have kids.

This is literally the best moment of my life.

So by the way, there's, there's nothing better than getting off to a 2-0 store, a start with a Sunday and a Thursday game.

And now you have a built-in bye week.

As a former player, if you went 2-0 in these two games, you are like.

you don't play for another 10 days.

You got a bye week early in the season.

So it's a big one for both these teams.

Pressure on it, Matt.

Jeez.

A little more pressure.

By the the way, Michael's wearing number one.

Is Michael wearing number one, right?

Yes, he is.

Did he wear one in Dallas?

Dumb question.

No,

no, 11, right?

11, yeah.

11.

That's right.

Number one.

How college was he one?

He was 11.

That's right.

Because he was the sticks at Penn State, which is like the bar arrangement, all that.

I got to be honest, a single-digit one looked kind of fresh on him.

It is.

It is nice for a sick pass rusher to come in, just number one.

Look how happy she is.

And also, I like seeing.

Asked Jeremy Goff what the one looked like because he saw it several times from the ground.

so

i don't i don't know if the audience could see this and if you're just listening to this at home uh seeing all of annie's uniforms in the corner there and all of her various swag that she makes her amazing content with i see the new york giant symbol i like the i like the wardrobe rack by the way there it is that's that's that's for all the magic all the magic yeah you know somebody asked me how many i have i know i have a jersey for every team but i have like extra shirts you know they've sent me and stuff so i should go through and count at some point but it's a lot there is a lot here any week one overreactions that you are believing in, besides your Packers are going to win the Super Bowl, because that might not be an overreaction.

Mike McDaniel might be fired midseason.

I was brutal.

I can't even believe how bad Miami looked.

It was so bad.

And it wasn't even on Tua.

They didn't, there was no point where you felt like they had anything to get.

Like their offense was a mess.

They couldn't play defense, had no run.

It was the most.

It was just an atrocious.

Well, they lost to one of the best quarterbacks in football.

Yeah.

Well, they did.

That's my overreaction.

And made him like one of the best, which is my belief.

Of course, I'm mad I sold my stock in Daniel Jones, but the Colts version, I'm rebuying.

I'm rebuying.

Daniel Jones is going to make the Pro Bowl this year.

That's an overreaction.

That's not even an overreaction.

That's what's going to happen because Jerry's just doomed.

That's how it goes.

Again, I think of it all like a script, and that's the script that would be written.

Like, he goes to another team, and he's freaking awesome.

Uh, before we do twisted trivia, Matt, any concerns about your boy Caleb, your fellow Trojan,

who was he he was scrambling, he was running around, he was doing some things, but it all looked under direct.

He was more comfortable, right?

Yeah, you know, first game, JJ McCarthy.

Here's the story, right?

Because you compare both quarterbacks, and it was JJ McCarthy, who's essentially a rookie, didn't play last year, and he has the pick six, and he comes back in the second half, and he just does everything you want in a young quarterback, right?

Makes the plays, the locker room speech, like it was just like you felt that, you know, with Caleb, what was that, his 18th start or whatever, and he just you know there's just some throws that you just miss that you can't miss as a quarterback in the league you just can't right I mean the DJ Moore won at the end of course I understand that it's a lot easy to say when you're watching the game from the couch

but you just look like JJ McCarthy was more prepared in that matchup again it's only week one

new system Ben Johnson the line was average at times.

So it's not an overreaction.

I think we should pump the brakes.

But

yeah, I mean, look, he's got to be better.

I think he's the first to play that, that's for sure.

Even in the Vikings win, though, Annie, you got to be happy because neither of those two teams looked particularly amazing.

If Bears fans want to ruin their day, go watch the all 22 of Caleb, Caleb Williams.

Doesn't look pretty from what I've heard on Twitter.

It's not pretty.

All right.

Something else that might not be so pretty is our week two twisted trivia, but I feel like Matt and I, we might have overlooked it last week, and now this week we're taking it very seriously.

Well, I just have a better, I have a better understanding of what's going on.

I feel like you'll get these ones.

These are good.

All right.

This is like a good mix of throwbacks.

Huh?

We got five.

Five.

Yes.

Five twisted trivia questions.

We are ready.

Twisted trivia questions.

One for every drink I'm going to consume tomorrow night.

Okay.

Absolutely.

So how many twisted T's I'm going to consume.

Starting with number one, are you ready, gentlemen?

Yes.

Who is the longest tenured head coach in the NFL right now, currently?

Mike Tomlin.

Yes.

Wow.

Let's go.

We're back.

No, bonus.

I haven't.

What'd you say?

I said bonus if you know how many seeds.

Over 15, maybe 18.

17.

17.

Yeah.

See, I'm trying not to do what I did last week and just shout out the first thing that pops into my head.

And in that case, I should have because everybody.

Jerry's processing like Russell Wilson over there.

Geez.

Okay.

Who is the only team to never have a game end in a tie?

I did not know this.

Ooh.

I mean, we have a one in 32 chance to get this.

I'll tell you, it's a team.

It's a not very good team.

A team that you would assume has ended in a tie before.

Jacksonville.

Oh my gosh.

Are you kidding?

No way.

Let's just move on to number three because Matty Ice is on fire.

That is wild.

That is wild.

Okay.

Jerry.

Chime in here anytime.

Only two left-handed quarterbacks have ever won the Super Bowl.

Who are they?

If you don't know this, Matt, it's embarrassing.

You're a left-handed quarterback.

Steve Young is one.

And

you don't know the answer, Jerry?

I'm trying to think.

I'm trying to think.

Left-handed quarterback.

I knew Steve Young.

This is like an old, it's an older quarterback, isn't it?

Yep.

Pretty old.

I'm going to go

Kenny Stabler.

Yes.

Wow.

Matt.

This is such shit.

I don't like any of it.

I need a twisted T right now.

Matt, I don't know you're not Googling this.

Come on, bro.

I want to see hands.

I want to see hands on this.

By the way, Kenny Stabler, they used to call me the snake at USC.

On my cleats was written snake because our equipment guys who've been around, they're like, Matt, you remind me of Kenny Stabler.

So he's the only other left-handed quarterback I could think of because I know I think we have this twisted trivia ball just to show that we're not.

We have to hold it to show we're not Googling because he might be.

That's a great idea.

Okay, number four.

Who holds the record for the most touchdowns in a single season?

Okay, not throw

position away.

Sean Alexander.

Nope.

No.

LaDania Tomilson?

Ladania.

Yeah, LT.

L2.

Chargers legend.

Okay, last question.

Yeah, Sean had Sean had like 27 out of 10.

Yeah, rushing, probably the most rushing touchdowns, but I think LT had a bunch of receiving touchdowns, too.

Yeah.

By the way,

I've already sealed the victory.

All right, relax.

I'm closing out morale.

And a bonus question in case there's a tie ever or anything.

Not

Not that you guys probably would get there, but or like a chance for Jerry to come back or something, you know?

Okay, last question.

Last offensive player to win Super Bowl MVP.

Oh,

no, no, no.

Von Miller.

Yes.

Matt didn't even have to answer because he already won it.

He already had a locked in.

He didn't know.

That's why he didn't answer.

It was him or Malcolm Smith, but Malcolm Smith was a long time ago.

The fact that Von Miller is still in the league, too, blows my mind.

You you know i really wanted to win because i was all set to throw on this twitch by the way shout out

shout out to von miller i got a bunch of his chicken in my freezer right now yeah yeah

did you guys know he studied like poultry science in college yeah he sent me uh he sent me a bunch of chicken did he really yeah wow shout out to von

like he has chickens yeah he's got like a farm he runs like a chicken farm right yeah it's like yeah it's his yeah it's his whole deal can you purchase such chickens because i would love to get some von miller chicken in the frozen i'll text him to send you some.

He'd probably love to send you some.

What a random thing.

Isn't it?

Is that what you grilled up at your house that day?

Was that Von Miller chicken?

No, we only had steak.

That was steak.

That was steak.

That would be such a good conversation when you're at the grill drinking a twisted tea.

Be like, yeah, you guys got to try some of the Von Miller chicken.

I'd be like, what?

What do you think?

We'll have Von on the pod and we'll just talk chicken.

Thank you very much.

You have somewhere to be tonight because the game's going to be taking off shortly.

I got the jersey ready.

I need to be going.

Is that

Aaron Jones?

No, I got a

Packer, Aaron Jones, now on the

way.

If I wear this around Chicago, I get them from both angles.

So

you need a John Coon.

I do.

I do need a John Coon.

You got to upgrade that, though, Andy.

The Aaron Jones, Mr.

Fantasy,

I'm injured this week.

I left the game.

I'm in the 10th, and I'm going to screw your team up.

Well, I have one with my name on the back, but yeah, I have one with my name on the back, but it's a Clay Matthews number, so it's even more outdated.

I had had a buddy who only wore jerseys with like he wore a cowboys jersey with his name.

He's a comedian, he says, Because I don't put other men's name on my back.

I'm like, wow, that's where you shouldn't just wear another man's jersey anyway, but it's fine.

I feel like, as a former player, like, if I saw Matt in another jersey, it would look weird.

How weird would it be if Matt showed up in like a Brock Birdie jersey?

I would be so weird.

Like, that's a child.

It's and he plays.

There's one jersey that hangs in my closet.

Kobe.

Oh, Kobe Bryant.

Fair enough.

That's he's my, yeah.

And I'll wear that.

I would see that.

I could see that.

That's about it, though.

And if it's a different sport.

Anyway, that's a whole other thing.

Annie, we are going to see you next week.

Good luck to you.

Enjoy the party.

Enjoy the party of life that you're having, right?

Your son run for Annie Agar right now.

All right.

All right.

All right.

We're going to get back to the Adam Ray interview right now.

Are you comfortable FaceTiming other guys?

Are you a FaceTime guy?

Oh, I do.

I do.

I pose that question on here.

I was doing the goodnight challenge before it was a challenge.

It was just real life.

I was just doing it.

It was just like, let's see.

I'm a big fan.

All my boys make fun of me.

Like, why the fuck do you FaceTime?

Matt's a FaceTimer, though.

No, I'm all about it.

Thank you.

Appreciate it.

All about it.

I'm a voice note guy.

I got strong into voice noting.

Some people're good for voice notes because you can realize

your strengths.

Yeah, also, it's easier to do that and drive.

Like, I feel safer, too.

But, um,

but yeah, FaceTime, yeah, for sure.

Right?

I don't know.

you just get more across like a big drunk FaceTimer.

I just love that.

All right, team.

Well, you got my number.

I don't know.

Let it rip it.

This is your, I'm giving you a

pass.

All right, all right.

So, you were always really great when we first met and became friends.

Like, you always tell me, especially even like when I moved to New York, if you had a show in New York and I moved to Cleveland, you come do Hilarity at Hilarities, right?

Yeah,

right.

And then I feel like I saw you not this past, like last summer at Hilarities, right?

Like Rick Glassman, those guys, and hanging out after the show.

And I think you mentioned there, I don't know if you knew you were doing Dr.

Phil in Cleveland at that point.

No, no, I don't know.

I thought you mentioned it there, but either way, we kept in touch.

And then you like told me, hey, if you're in town, you want to come by, come pop on Dr.

Phil.

And obviously it starts exploding.

And that's like November.

Yeah.

You and I don't really talk regularly.

Yeah.

So like months go by.

And I feel like in May, like two weeks before the show, like, yo, you still good?

And I went,

because I had some trips somewhere.

I don't know.

I just didn't, i didn't put it in the phone let it be a lesson you got to follow up man because you can't just assume people that like well so far away schedule professionally like you are gonna lock everything in it just was so far i like for me i i really can't look past a month like that's just the way i am and the way even like acting has been for me like you look at the month in front of you and then you you go month by month wow and you but locking in a massive tour like that you have to think months bro i'm okay i just locked in my i'm gonna do theaters for the first time january through april and then australia stand-up and then some fill shows for probably like April, May.

So, yeah, dude, I mean, it's like, and then down the line, and then I'm like, going to Chappelle's this weekend to do some shows and talk about maybe some like crossover there for next fall.

So like, you got to have to get way out in front of it.

Well, there's also just only so many venues and there's so many people, dude.

And in these theaters I'm doing, they're like, you know, I'll finish up comedy clubs this fall and which I love.

And then theaters, you just got to, at some point, once you're selling out, you got to elevate and like go to the next thing and

a little bigger.

Totally.

And then, yeah.

And so, well, Bri was really on your side.

She's like, we had a trip planned.

Like, she's like, you could move it by two days.

And she loves you.

She's like, you gotta fucking

Adam's not going to come here all the time with this.

You got to do it.

I'm like, all right, fuck.

Remember, I told you, like, buddy, I don't think I can.

I was understanding too, man.

You were cool about it.

But you were like, and because I just, there's no point in jamming people up.

And if you can't do it, I also am like, I go, if Jerry can make it work, he'll make it work.

Like, I trust that.

And you did say, let me see what I can do.

So then I was like, well, the boss stepped in and was like, Adam's, you got to do it for Adam.

Thank God, dude.

How did it go?

Awesome, dude.

He ripped it.

It was so fun.

And it's so cool to see him like, I don't want to give away your seat, like to see him backstage.

Like, I'm just talking.

He's fully costumed up, but like, he's Adam.

Because I have two hours of getting to makeup.

He would like sneak in into Phil for, you could just tell he was like, you'd sneak in for a second.

He'd be Dr.

Phil.

Then he's back to Adam.

It's like, it was really cool to see the behind the scenes of it all.

And I knew it was like going to be a big thing.

But then when it's finally my time to come out, I was like late in the show.

And it's like, holy shit, there's a ton of TV

500 out there.

They were and they were, they were ready for all of it.

They were fired up crowds.

So it was dope to see behind.

I appreciate that, man.

Bro, always.

Well, you're a beast and so funny.

And also, I don't know, the live show thing is like once you guys start taking this on the road, it's just

great, man.

Yeah.

And also, again, like, you've probably done a bunch of Paley Q ⁇ A things

that are fun in their own right but like this is different totally this is different yeah and was that the first time you busted out the johnny drama because he did a full we played entourage characters we got a script check it out it's probably on his youtube or ig no it's it's coming out that one's not coming out till i think another month oh i don't spoil it too much but uh he busted out the johnny drama and i wrote an entourage

i've seen some johnny drama impersonations in my day and i will say you are by far up there i even showed it to dylan did you really i had like a little video on my phone he's like that's not bad chief That's not bad.

That's just better.

I don't know if Vince would approve it.

By the way, that's fucked.

We had, dude, one of the best episodes we've ever done is we had Dylan.

We had the entourage.

We had all the entourage here.

In this very house, it's already out.

It's out.

It came out in November.

In this very room.

It was so sick, dude.

And these, and I let these three, they just rap for like an hour and a half.

That's awesome.

It was awesome.

You just set them up with questions.

By the way, yeah, it was just like, it was just fucked.

You were a fan of the show, right?

Oh, huge fan.

They call him Vinnie T.

That's part of the reason why we're together is because our path, like we both got the same age kids and all that stuff.

And that's kind of how this is

came about.

Entro is no, same time.

It was same time.

04.

Wow.

So I used to hang with

Connolly.

No, I was surprised.

I would run into Connolly.

I was like, oh, the place that?

No.

Well, that was the spot, but then what are some of the climbing?

Leydoux and all those places.

The old school, legendary.

Maybe the last great run of LA Night.

I maybe got to go to a few of those where I'd see like Nick Young and like other like,

you know, Julia White took me to some swaggy P.

Yeah.

Did you go out in Hollywood at a little bit?

Yeah.

But again, the acting school was so demanding.

I would go I'd class nine to six and then rehearsal every semester six to 10.

And then I'd, so when I'm women with the frat, I'm coming back and then trying to have a social life.

So it was like, and I didn't do stand-up until 2007.

So I did a few frat parties just to kind of, I did a few open mics in Seattle to when I got to LA to be like, all right, at least I've done it.

So I'm not like nervous to start in LA.

For whatever reason, that felt intimidating.

And so doing a few frat parties, like in that little quad at API, which was like our frat was set up like apartment style.

So, you walked in, there was a kitchen to the right, big like brotherhood room to the left where I saw my first couple of gals.

I think he was double-sided.

And then, uh, it was, I was wild.

I was like, my mom is paying for this.

And so, um,

with her monthly dues, and she's like, How's cool?

I'm like, Don't worry about it.

And

it's fun, it's boring, nothing happens.

I haven't seen two of anything go inside of one person.

And she's like, That's highly specific.

And so, then I um, so, so I

did it in the quad in those, you know, apartments around the bottom and then around the top, you know, and then this open air quad.

And so we had these big parties.

And,

and I remember just like opening for my buddy's band and everything was behind, but I had practiced like 45 minutes.

I rehearsed 45 minutes.

I'd done stand up four times.

I'm like, I'm doing 45 minutes.

The band was like almost an hour late.

People were waiting.

Everyone's getting fucked up.

So if I was a professional and like had any sort of wherewithal, I would have been like, I'm going to do like seven to 10.

Right.

Yeah.

Warm them up and get out of there.

It was just like, come with Haymakers.

It's what I would do now.

And man, it was bad.

I think I still got the vision.

I got two laughs making fun of bike cops and then

some girls timely at the time.

Timely, dude.

It crushed.

I got great bike cop material, dude.

I texted, I was texting.

I'm glad you said that because Brandon Hance,

who was a quarterback with me, but he was also, he's also Jewish, so he knew you guys had a lot of stuff.

Aaron Wiener was our

tie.

He told me, he goes, dude, he goes, that guy's crushing, but I remember seeing one of his first shows and he was so fucking bad.

Yeah.

Might be the one.

It might have been that.

By the way,

he was like, it was so bad.

It was so awkward.

It was so bad.

I felt bad for him.

Yeah.

You probably were 22 years old.

21.

Bro, and this is like, yeah.

First of all, I even say this now to young comics.

I go, no one's

somewhere.

You get so impatient.

You don't get better when you're crushing all the time.

I'm sure you can apply that to acting in sports too, right?

Yes.

So if you're out there just ripping it like you get you learn from making mistakes and especially with stand-up it's such a just profession there's no replacement for the reps so when people are like looking for shortcuts even when i was like five years in i was like all right i'm getting i'm getting like some good laughs on all these shows i'm like how do i get a regular at this club and and thankfully had a few bobby lee and a few people above me to be like dude control what you can control riding all the time getting save time driving eight minutes to san diego uh at seven doing a spot at 930 driving right back and strapping on the wolverine claws at 10 a.m that's the only pass just doing everything and all the time and being about it not having a plan b to take away from the plan a and so

so yeah i'm sure i was terrible but it's so funny i remember even like seven years in a few kids spencer torgan uh

cold lineman yeah another yeah mutual uh homie and he was in the frat and played on the football team and i remember seeing him like seven years in and he was like so you still doing comedy

that's a great question just because i wasn't on a billboard wasn't pushing my own cologne what are you doing these days how did you do that and like you're not in a movie though are you you're you're doing it though because yeah he's just and i wouldn't take it personal because like dude when you have no ties to the business yourself or you don't know how it works like you're you're not gonna know that like oh you're out there grinding at open mics you're working at a casting office six days a week i'm strapping on the the the claws to like and even the fake cop i was getting like improv reps because i'm like that's why i really liked being there and doing the tour guide it was like i'm getting to perform in some avenue so i always reflexing

and then i was in acting class still still.

And I was taking groundlings and like just trying to do everything.

And that's why this Phil show was such a great, like unexpected use of like all these tools I've been sharpening over the years.

Like hours, you know, 20 years of podcasting and 20 years of stand-up and the crowd work.

And then, you know, a little monologue up top.

And then the interview part,

producing all my YouTube videos.

You know, my buddies that went to SC, Kyle Mooney, Beck Bennett, Nick Rutherford, they were on SNL for a bit.

They took over after the Lonely Island guys.

And they always had this group.

And I was always one of that.

So I'd be trying to find people in classes to like form

a channel.

Yeah, I had my own troop.

Yeah.

And just couldn't get people to commit.

So I was like, no, fuck it.

I'll just do it on my own.

And I'll write everything.

And I met these kids that worked for Lucas Films and J.J.

Abrams doing special effects.

So they were like film school kids that had amazing cameras and editing.

And

they were like, just pay us in dinners and coffees.

And we want to do comedy stuff.

So like, they shoot all the field shows.

They shot the Netflix special.

And we've been doing videos since 2007.

And that elevated my game when people weren't doing a ton of videos, you know.

So I'd always early on that.

You were early on the video.

Quality matter.

And still, even to this day, people put clips up.

And if the audio is not great, it could still go viral, whatever.

But it does matter.

Like, I bring a guy that tapes all my stand-up sets on the road.

And it makes a difference to me.

And I feel like once you start putting high-quality stuff out, you should be consistency, right?

Another thing that just matters in everyday life.

It's so funny, though, because it's such an interesting because I think this goes across the board for every career, definitely in sports definitely in entertainment you know i think i got asked yesterday on the beach i'm walking with my kids it's like so you still acting it's like look i know i haven't been on a show in like three years i know that's a long time in reality that's the shortest amount of time and like do you want to hear about the the four almosts the one that didn't get picked up like similarly it's like

which by the way is so crazy to even that doesn't make you even more so go man i the fact that i was on a hit show for that long yeah i got one of of those, which yo won't be the end of it.

But, like, at some point, you have to pat yourself on the back and go, like, I got, so many people don't even get the chance to get one of those.

Well, because it makes me think of bringing it all full circle, your boy, your boy Darnold, he pops off in Minnesota.

And, like, I'm sure you like could have ran into Darnold two years ago, like, what, is that dude still in the NFL?

Like, what is he doing now?

Yeah.

Yeah, he's fucking grinding and he's now with Shanahan with the night.

And then he comes and blows up in Minnesota.

And then it's all like, oh, you're a great quarterback again.

It's like, he's been doing that with the stuff that it takes to get to that point, the stuff that it takes for you to have this giant tour with Dr.

Phil, like it's, it's you at Universal.

That rep is there.

It's all part of it.

Yeah.

And yeah, I got you still acting.

I'm like, no, I retired.

Wolverine.

I might have said, like, I made so much money on Enourage, I don't need to work anymore, which is also not true.

It's also not factually incorrect.

Factually incorrect.

So,

yeah, it is so funny, those, like, all those reps and all the, you know, I dressed up as as on Craigslist for $150 as Superman for a kid's birthday party, got fired because

a couple of the dads that were fucked up.

They were making fun of my outfit.

I mean, it was a cheap outfit, but I also just wasn't like, I was just like, I'm Superman.

Like, happy are you?

Clayton, how old are you?

You know, and whatever.

That's not Superman.

Oh, yeah.

And the dad just was like, look at his fucking, like, look at his body.

I was a fat adult.

I was a fat 20-year-old.

Jerry was super fat, too.

How did you lose the...

Did HBO do it?

Were there a character, or was it just you being like?

It It was me.

Oh, you look great, but going into like, I started getting out in front of it like fun fat, though, dude.

It was

you made, I mean, you made, permission to speak freely, you made fat guys be like, all right, I do have to do that.

I can have swag.

I can bring that Air Force Ones back, like the baggy jean, chubby guy, Air Force One thing was that.

1,000%, dude.

No, it was going like later seasons of entourage, knowing it's all going to end, but also like I was unhealthy.

I was, I'm only 5'6.

I was 205.

Yeah, you hit a point.

And I was 30 years old.

I had a doctor.

You know, you take the bullshit Hollywood physical to make sure you can go make a movie.

Oh, no.

Just making sure, like, you're not dying, essentially.

All they do, they look at your heart's beating.

They make sure you don't have any

literally, I'm going to pass out and die in this office.

Go make a movie.

This one doctor was like examining me a little too long.

Like, all right, let's take, let's weigh you.

I'm like, you're going to fucking weigh me now.

We don't do that.

And

you just turn 30, you're healthy, go make your movie.

But just know, like, when you get older, it's gonna be a lot harder to get in shape.

First one to kind of drop that seed, and that's kind of like that's rough.

That sounds kind of no, but that sounds like a reasonable way to do it.

And I just remember that night, like Forrest Gump, like I just started running, and I just that was it, and I could, but I ran like a half a mile and I was gassed.

This is before I was even playing who before I started that hoops game.

Wow, and then I, but the thing that almost me with HBO was going into our final season, we had 10 months in between seasons.

I went from like 185 to 142.

It's supposed to be a continuous season.

Like we ended no.

So wasn't that the first scene when Ari said that?

Yeah, and then Doug Allen's like, now I got to write these anorexic skinny jokes about you.

He had to switch his brand.

Yeah, which, by the way, like, you know, like, it's like the show.

No, it didn't really suffer.

And I think it did ultimately help the character, but it wasn't like, oh, I want to do this for the show.

It just was to get in shape.

Then I got addicted to like good

hobbies and

playing hoops and shit.

Finally.

That's wild.

the also the um stop smoking we you know i chilled out a little bit on nobody's happy about that but

maybe your family

very happy about that yeah

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Something else I realized too when I was watching the Edelman stuff, getting ready for this, it's like when he mentioned Edelman's, like, I'm, you know, I'm in Seattle.

I got to know Seattle over with COVID.

And then you launch into Biden for a second.

I'm like, that is probably the easiest way to stop any political conversation.

Like, if you're at Thanksgiving dinner with like your aunt, your mom, and a political, you just launch into that.

Oh, yeah.

It's over.

Yeah.

Conversation's over.

We're all going to laugh.

We're not going to start fighting.

I got a lot of weapons to try to like

or navigate.

I mean, there's certain

weapons.

been in

conversations where you just like can't get out of it.

But even like my father-in-law will like not see it, I don't think.

It diffuses it, right?

Yeah, I imagine.

I mean, dude, laughter.

Yeah, and it just, and it's a way to like almost kind of like be like, let's get out.

It's how I deal with crowd work too.

Yeah.

During same shows, if people are, you know, I've lost my cool, you know, the last time I, you, again, you live and you learn.

And now I know I'm all about,

and, you know, not to name drop again, but The Rock and I talked about this because he said crowd work is why he really started dig some of the stuff I was putting up.

Yeah, he's like, that was my favorite thing to do in the ring was to fucking go off script.

He was like,

oh man, which I didn't even realize,

yeah,

undoubtedly.

And

so he was like, you know, you got to hit them and hug them.

He's like, I like that when you're fucking with people, you're not, you're, you hit them and you wrap them up.

You're, you kill with kindness.

You're not making them, you're staying in control.

He's like, you got to fuck with, he always says this.

And I always think about this.

He's like, you got to fuck with people.

He's like, we all got to be fucked with.

It's kind of like what connects us, you know, but you don't have to make someone think about fucking jumping off the roof, you know?

So, so I'm doing that with people and sometimes people that deserve it probably have fucking,

you know,

taking it down.

But there's always a funny way to handle it is how I approach it.

And so I go, I'm going to include the distraction to squash the distraction.

The last time I lost my cool and learned from it was in Reno, and it was, I think, post,

but Trump had just won.

And I'm hitting both sides.

I always hit both sides, you know?

I don't care.

Like, you got to,

for me, I'm not trying to isolate the room.

And there's comedy on both sides.

There There is comedy on both sides.

So, um, and that's just not my MO.

It's just like, it's comedy still an escape and you can touch on stuff, but I'm not trying to like get, make too much of a statement.

And, um, and this guy, though, was, was going off, even me just mentioning, I think I was doing a bit about Melania having her like be best campaign.

And I was like, you know, Michelle Obama had, you know, they go low, we go high.

And the potheads were like, we got to go fucking higher, man.

You can go higher than that if you can.

And then the be best.

And then I was like, Trump must have been staying in the wings being like, you know, you only get two syllables bitch and then shut the fuck up you know and and just how scared she was and how be best people were like yeah wait were there more words to that is there be better try your best i think we're missing some part of that sentence and and i and then i done some michelle obama jokes but he heard trump and freaked out

and then he started making fun of my haircut and i was like all right so then i'm throwing it back and he was an older man with an older gal probably in their late 70s early 80s And I tried to ignore it.

And then I just was like, sir, I go, you know what?

Get it all out because you probably got a couple more weeks left to live.

and then that kind of got like a groan from the crowd and this was a reno laugh factory like real odd shaped room yeah crowd there are probably 80 people in there it's a fucking you know wednesday late show you're there for a week and uh

and i just lost my cool and i like went after him in a way that just wasn't funny and i remember being like feeling so bad about it being like oh like Not even like, this isn't who I am, but also you lost your cool.

You, at the end of the day, have control of how this goes.

You can ignore it.

You can deflect.

You can make a quick joke, but you do need to maintain commanding of the room.

The crowd is looking at you for that.

So if this guy's trying to pull the rug out from under it, how are you creatively, you know, getting the room back?

So then we get out to the lobby and I'm taking pictures or whatever.

And he comes up to me and he goes, he goes, I hated your show.

And I was like, well, fuck it.

I go, I hate your face and fucking fuck off, you know, whatever.

And then he goes, and your haircut sucks.

I go, my mom likes it and that's all that works for me, sir.

I came back for more, though.

That's why.

Came back for more and then reached and tried to grab my head.

Oh, no, no.

I grabbed his arm like that.

And I go, sir, I've never beat up an old man at a Reno casino, but, you know, there's always a time for a first.

Pulls his hand back, spits in my face.

Then his wife comes up, spits on the ground right around me, and then goes, I'll, she goes, go to hell.

To which I said, I'll see you there, bitch.

And my opener, Sandy Danto, shout out, goes, I've never seen you act like that ever in the history of our friendship.

And I was like, I'm not proud of that.

I just, he goes, you just told an old woman you'll see her in hell, bitch.

And I go, yeah, dude, not, I'm not feeling great.

We went and got hammered, sang karaoke with the locals.

And after that, I like probably had a pit in my stomach for no joke, like four or five days because I just was like.

Again, I was like, I didn't handle it well.

Like that was so not professional, you know, whatever.

It also was like, your job is to be funny and your job is to entertain.

And like, I just didn't do it.

And I warranted that at the end.

At least I I put that on myself.

I think anytime you can do that, when you're doing that, you know, you also, you know, gain a little bit more perspective.

I just don't like the physical touch, though.

Like, don't touch the

spit.

That's what,

like, that's so.

But I was pretty pumped at how quick I grabbed.

It was Batman shit.

That's a rep you probably hadn't had yet, right?

That's a rep that you haven't yet.

I'm Wolverine.

Dude, you went noverine.

Dude, I just

stop touching me.

Wait, you want to hear a quick impression?

This is Batman trying to find the G-spot.

Where is she?

I like that.

Okay.

I know we're running out of time.

Are we?

I want to ask you.

Oh, no.

I thought you did.

No, what's the heart out?

Oh, I did.

I just got to put an audition on tape, but I'm probably not going to get it anyway.

Let's just keep rocking.

I'll read with you, bro.

I'll read with you.

Oh, shit.

Let's do it.

Put you on the tape.

So that's not a bad idea.

Me and Jerry, I'm going this.

Lassectomy.

Oh.

You had one.

No.

Wow.

We need, we, we, we want to do it.

I have a good time.

We want to get advice from Dr.

Phil on

real quick.

Okay.

We'll get to the point, Matt, because

I'm four kids in, man.

Oh, tree.

Well, ever heard of pulling out?

I'll buy you the condoms.

I always wear a condom when I go to bed, just in case she rolls over and wants to hop on and ride that train like Quad City DJs.

But you got four, Jerry, you got two.

And one on the way now.

Clearly, I don't know how to pull out.

Mazzleta.

Well, do you have a name picked out yet?

No, we don't even know.

We're not going to find out.

I was just making small.

I don't fucking care.

But, Matt, so four kids.

So four times you went,

and then it just, and then here we go.

Here we go.

So, well, I want to hear the pros and cons.

Being a dad with four, you love it, why, and it gets to you how.

I love being a dad.

I love hanging out with them.

I got an 18-year-old, so I started young.

That's right.

I think I read about that.

You were around that time.

I was around that time.

I was in the locker room.

You were at Wolverine while I was doing this shit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I got.

That's got to be cool.

You know, in hindsight, you're like, wow, you got a buddy that gets the jokes, that can watch Goonies with you and not just be like, wow, there's a pirate.

Well, Dr.

Phil, the advice you're giving me is the advice I'm giving him now.

Let's go.

Yeah.

We'll be right back.

We'll keep right here.

Wrap it up.

Wrap it up.

Not just with a bad story, but also with your penis.

And 18 and having a penis is a wild thing in 2025.

Yeah.

What would you say to a 45-year-old man who is terrified now that a third kid's on the way and is now even scared or that there may be four or five?

Well, first of all, I thought you were 52, but 45 is

the new 52.

My friend Oprah says 45 is the new 52, but

you know, that bitch made a soup and nobody bought it.

So, you know,

I don't believe everything she says, but I do believe in believing in yourself, Jerry.

And I think that if you wanted a third kid,

you knew how to do it, but you're going to know how to do it.

Does that make sense?

Sure.

Sometimes, look, there's two sides to a pancake.

You play to win the game.

You play to win the game.

Look, did I bet on Wally Zerbiak in the 90s to score 40 points?

Yeah.

Am I banned from 19 different Buffalo Wild Wings in the Midwest?

I don't want to talk about it.

But no, I think raising a family is

quite the achievement.

Four kids.

Do you want to double it up?

You're going to go for eight?

I'm done.

You're going to be like the dugger?

I need advice on whether I should get the

sex tie.

Well,

my wife's pressure, man.

She is, huh?

You can still fire off hot loads with your balls tied, right?

Yeah.

And sorry for my language, but.

Apparently, you got to fire off like 40 loads.

40 loads.

Post.

Now, let me post Malone.

Now, let me ask you this.

Can you tie your balls together?

I guess.

I was about to say you tie your penis, but you only have one penis, right?

And I talk about that in my book.

We've got issues.

We only have one penis, but two different ideas about how to use it you know my nephew he's 10 he thinks his penis is just for pee-pee well he's got he's about to learn the hard way that it's uh

that it's filled with blood but there's something so matt so okay so four and you want to know if you should tie your balls together yeah have you found a doctor to do it not yet well yeah i know dr ross so i can give you his number two for one maybe two for one yeah two for a little twofer yeah the last time i did it was at a bar mutzva and i wasn't asked to so i don't know just kind of showed up and started cutting stuff uh you want to get where do you get it at out here in la or would you go to like kuwait

turkey you know you know some people go get stem cells and mix but put some horse fucking steroids put some horse steroids up your ass yeah yeah wow but so okay but uh the wife's pressuring jerry what about your wife she pressuring you to tie your uh tie your testes no i i think she's like don't do it just in case and i'm like that's the reason why i want to do it just in case just in case uh oopsie oops a daisy yeah.

Well, we've all had our oops of daisy moments.

We've had a few, right?

But you know, I just want to tell you, Matt, believe in yourself, wake up with the sun, go to bed with the moon, trust your instincts, okay?

Lego my egg go and stop dropping, roll.

And of course, if you're alone in the shower, shave your head, your back, your pussy, and your crack.

We'll be right back.

We'll keep right here.

My guest has been Matt Leinert, 6'5.

6'5.

Doesn't matter.

Oh, nailed it.

Went a free Laffy Taffy.

And

the man who, the only guy who proudly says he likes purple Powerade and yellow starburst jerry ferrara five six five six all right we're inverted yeah is um

have you guys seen the real dr phil yes oh yeah yeah oh yeah of course what is your what is your daytime what are the how about this what's your show

What's your show during the season?

Do you even watch TV?

What's your show?

What you're filming a show?

Like, what's on...

I was just asking Sammy this.

I was like, do you even watch?

Because some athletes have told me that they're like so dialed in that they don't.

But I just think they're like, you're on planes so much

you know i'm sure you're like you're on the road you must be i don't know are you watching like when you're or is it because you have the show prep is probably consuming like tomorrow and then podcast and sports stuff i got like even uh

yeah i've been listening to some hawk stuff this morning and then um

but you know like the big like what i mean my wife got me to love island which i couldn't get enough fun husband wife yeah that was a big bachelor guy what was what's nick lache show love is blind or love is blind great we had nick on and he does that show about wife.

Oh, yeah.

And it's like, by the way, saying about it.

That's a dream.

Imagine like you and your wife could be like, hey, we're going to guest host for Nick and Vanessa on Love is Blind.

How awesome would that be?

Bro, that's a great thing.

You're just hosting.

You're coming in, setting the table, and you're getting out, and you get to watch.

Wow, that would be a great idea.

Or actually just have me on to like be a it would be so good, bro.

Oh, that would be cool.

Dude, they shoot like three weeks.

You should actually

three weeks out the year.

I know a couple of guys that are in some

fucking tropical place, and they're done for the year.

Three weeks?

Like three or four.

He's the greatest kid.

That's it.

So Love is Blind.

And they just show up to be like,

you guys are going to the hot tub.

Intro.

Hey, who likes Pete?

And the reunion episode is always going to be the same.

And then they do the reunion.

And that's where you really have to do your research.

But the researchers watch the show, which is not a bad.

Yeah,

there's too many, though.

The reality dating shows, it's like my wife will be like.

Love Island's out.

And then two weeks later, Love is Blind returns.

And then two weeks after that, my God, Love is Def is out.

And then three days after that, Down Syndrome, Buck Naked, Def, Blind, Love just came out on Tubi.

And then there's Too Hot to Handle and Surviving Paradise and Bachelor and Golden Bachelor and Just a Tip and Don't Tell My Parents and Are You My Dad and Anal Island.

And I'm like, there are too many of these shows to focus on.

Do you

do you?

How do you turn it off?

Like, because you're always on, because that's like, like, do you turn it off on fat bowl, fat bowl of weed, dude?

That's a brain down.

That's it.

Well, because that's.

I'm trying to run myself under the ground and then I just collapse.

You just exhaust it.

Yeah, is there like, what's like an off day?

I mean, you grind, which is amazing.

So I went up to Seattle to do the game and I,

that was a,

I made myself like chill.

I, I got to be at camp the two days I took my nephew and my folks and then went and got beers with Schneider and sat in Mike McDonald's office for two hours, just like got to know him real well.

That's fantastic.

And just talk and shop, him and the D coordinator, Aiden Dirty, are game planning for the game.

And I'm just bullshitting.

What's cool?

I mean, you guys know this too.

It's like, you know, and then I'm at camp and all these, you know, rookies and old linemen are come up to me being like, you know, Big Finn.

And then they're picking my brain and then I'm picking their brain.

And then, so there's just a mutual respect there.

And then,

but I tried to make myself like not work and just be fully present in that.

And that was kind of like my shutdown.

And then, and then, uh, and then, you know, some fam time, but, um, but, you know, I still had to like edit.

We have like 20 Dr.

Phils in the cans, Cleveland show included.

And I'm, I'm editing everything.

I mean, I'm making all my, there's a guy cutting it up, but like, but you still have to review it.

I'm going through and not just trusting.

Yeah.

And I'm like that with all my stand-up clips.

So it's like time consuming because I want to put my name on what I'm putting out.

And I've tried to have a few people like cut clips at one time and they just like missed a few things.

And they were like, oh, I cut this part out to make it shorter.

And I was like, but this isn't funny if you didn't have that.

And like, you have to do the other way around it.

Unless you had someone who you really just had that exact sensibility and knows you so well.

Which is impossible.

Cause it's always, I'm just like, doesn't matter who, like, even the guys that edit the fill shows, you know, James and Dave are, are, we have, we've been working together for so long.

They really, we have a good back and forth and they know what I like and don't like.

But, but there's even times when they'll cut something and I'll be like, gotta leave that in.

And they're like, well, it's your call.

I'm like, it is, leave it in.

But I also love that they were like, we didn't think you needed it.

I'm like, I'm glad that, like, you, because there are times when they make calls where they're like, we tightened this because it needed, or we, we found a better shot for this.

Right.

We had Dr.

Pimple Popper on and we had

my makeup guy do this whole crazy thing.

And when we had Burt Kreischer and Mark Norman and Pimple Popper came on and popped this thing, everybody, and then we had macaroni inside of it, and I took it out and ate it.

And Burt Kreiser almost threw up because everybody thought it was just hearing that.

But like, you know, we had, they suggested to have a fourth camera on stage to shoot that to make it look more like, you know, handheld and stuff.

But the collaborative part of it is so great.

But shutting it down, man, I mean, it's, you know,

we're about to go to Europe for a couple of weeks.

I'm going to do a few shows just to kind of help pay for it.

And then, um, and then I'll just try to be, but I mean, you guys can probably attest to this, like being married three years.

Now, when I come off the road, instead of just going out immediately and doing like four spots that night, which I used to always do, right?

Like, maybe I'm home for two days

and be with her and be a person and like, and chill out.

And then last night I did four spots and then I go to Calgary tomorrow and then, and then Chappelle's and then back and then have a week, but like just picking and choosing.

But like, I also, you know, 43, I got to be better at like, I've definitely run myself into the ground a few times and I'm like, oh, it's not worth it.

Yeah.

You know, but I only know one gear and it's like, I've gotten this point going like that.

But

just trying to sleep better, eat better.

I don't know.

Well, I feel like,

and I think we should dive into our final thing here.

Seattle sports.

Let's talk about your Seahawks now for a moment.

I know Sundays, I'm sure if you don't have a show, if you're able to watch, you're watching.

Oh, I'm already planning around

the games.

I think I just saw Mark text me about, I think he's on the Steelers Seahawks game, and I thought about canceling my Sunday shows

in Indy to fly there on that Sunday to go there.

Because I've also never seen a game there, and I got to know Cam Hayward.

It's great.

Pittsburgh is awesome.

I went for the first time last year, Giants Steelers, and you go downtown, like the restaurants are great.

Downtown, though.

Awesome.

The stadium's like different than any stadium.

Maybe it's the yellow seats, the way it pops like on the water station.

It was a night game.

It was awesome.

Now they rock the Giants, too, which is not a big accomplishment, but the stadium, I would say if you could do that,

it's pretty dope.

I know.

I used to do that for a dope.

Just go.

I know, but it's, I know, but I got to, it's a two-show Sunday.

Do you think the Seahawks could win the division?

Oh, yeah.

The NFC one.

I think it's ours to lose.

I'm not.

I agree.

I'm not scared of the Cardinals because even though I do like Kyler Murray, and I just

Stafford and the Rams.

I mean, he's already talked about like injections in the neck and epidurals.

Yeah, Yeah, he's might be pregnant like Schwarzenegger.

And then, lastly, like, do the Niners have

because they got the blue chipper still.

I think the Niners are always a threat.

But you think it's yours to lose.

It's so funny.

I literally said to that to Mike, McDonald's a fan of our defense.

Dude, this is our.

I go, this is ours to lose.

I go, who really scares you?

He goes, everybody scares you.

He goes, I mean, in the NFL.

It's so hard.

You can lose at any moment.

Every week is hard.

Yeah.

It's truly why.

I mean, there's so many great things about football, but like the fact that it is like

you can go.

I think our second the year pete got um

fired the year after that i think we were five and oh yeah and then we lost five out of six and it was just like wow what the happened but injuries and then like i've heard some stuff on the inside and just like and then the mashing up of once you start losing i mean you can probably test this right like now people are they're acting outside themselves or trying to do too much or doing too little or thinking things need to change when maybe they don't i mean all that that is not on paper that is like fascinating.

So you think it's your division,

but also there's a wild card spot, if nothing else.

Right.

I mean, we got a host.

NFC is a little soft.

Our home record was shit last year.

I was going to say, what was your record last year?

We won 10 games last year, and we missed a playoff

because of the tie break.

The tie break with two teams.

And then we needed either Atlanta to beat Washington or Arizona to beat the Rams and both lost on the last play.

I remember that.

I mean,

I thought the Cardinals were going to beat the Rams.

So did I?

I did think that was going to happen.

And And then who was

U-W quarterback

for the Falcons?

Penix, I mean, came in and was like, oh, it was going to be so special.

It was like, wow, U-Web guy is going to put the Hawks in the playoffs and then just came up a little short.

But I think

they're predicting us six wins.

I think that's.

Really?

Yeah.

I think it's Mike's first six wins.

You got Cooper Cups over there.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's a great veteran pickup.

I think it's solid.

I think JSN is awesome.

JSN is awesome.

It's wild.

I think the defense is going to be.

The D is sharp.

And I think the running game is the best we're going to have in a long time.

Yeah.

And Sammy D, I think, is just going to

get a cannon on the red hat.

I called him SD.

I tried to, I go, SD card.

I go, I go, everyone's calling that.

No one's calling him that.

Let's start calling him that.

And

there's a lot of people.

Joking me, they said no, thanks.

But I haven't pitched it to Sam yet.

But he's got a cannon attached to that shoulder.

And I think if he, if we let him cook, you know,

was it Marquez Val

from new orleans right yeah um

loose tyler locket sucked but there was no way no they had

yeah um and then these young tight ends aj aj barner is a beast at tight end um and there's just a lot of guys even jake bobo dude undrafted like he had two tutties in the preseason game like

what the one thing i love that mike mcdonald said we're having some beers after the uh game and he goes uh He goes, I know.

He goes, I'm not the most like upbeat pessimistic.

I go, yeah, to be honest, you're kind of a fucking buzzgoo, dude.

Come on, man.

Give me some possibilities.

Really, sweetheart.

He's awesome.

And he's now pumped.

He said, like, my first year, he was like, dude, I was trying to figure it out.

I was getting settled.

It was like, these are untangibles.

Untangibles are intangibles.

Intangibles, but untangibles can work too.

Jesus Christ.

Trojans.

Untangible.

Wait, wait, wait, uncrustables.

That's what I was thinking of.

And

so I

was like,

no, you should be pumped.

He goes, I fucking love this team, dude.

He goes, I roasted the team last year.

And, you know, when I say one of the jokes, I was like, and it went great.

You know, I was like, Tyler, I was like, I was like, I'd say you look like a 12-year-old, but you actually, or a grown-ass 12-year-old, but you actually look like a regular ass 12-year-old.

I go, you look like you're opening for the NFL, for the game.

So the player's intro should be Tyler Lockett, wide receiver, Epstein Island.

And that crushed.

I did that right out of the gate.

And then I was hooping into DK and I was like, where's DK?

And I was going on the line and they were like, oh, shit, you know, because he's kind of, you know, like maybe a little bit of the more intimidating guy that you don't fuck with.

And so he was like, it's his birthday.

And I go, oh shit, happy birthday.

I go, what do you do for your birthday, DK?

He goes, no more jokes out of your fucking ass.

And everyone's like, oh, shit.

So again, timing, I was like, split second to get the room back.

So I just either take that or say something.

So I go, well, I got 20 locked and loaded.

So strap up, bitch.

Yeah.

It's like, yeah.

And then I just fucking laid it.

Is that pressure, though, when it's like your team, your roasting team?

Yeah, but I knew it was all, it's all intent.

It's all out of love.

I wasn't, and that's what I kept saying too.

And I was like, these are all jokes.

Like, I think I made some, you know, Leonard Williams, I think, has five kids in a Trojan.

And I was like, you know, it's ironic, something about him having five kids and not wearing, using a Trojan, whatever.

But, um,

but uh, it was all, it was all love.

But so Mike was like, you should do it this year.

We're going to figure that out because he's like, we're even tighter.

Tighter.

He's like, the group is like, there's no egos.

He goes, the young guys have the right amount of confidence.

There's just no egos.

And he's like, Leonard and Lawrence and like the way that people are,

you know, and the way that their Sammy SD card and Drew Locke are helping out

Milro.

You know, the way they're, he's like, that's such a healthy room.

And he's like, everyone's just like all about it.

And he goes, and I haven't had a team like this in a while.

And so he was pumped for that.

And

that is a huge part of it.

It was a huge part of it.

Again, you know way better, but like as fans, right, you always hear about the camaraderie in the locker room.

And I always think about that first Red Sox World Series team.

Ryan Dempster, this, you know, MOB player, was telling me how just tight these squads, like that squad was.

Cowboy up, yeah.

Don't let us get one.

That comeback was and not having a play.

And it's like, and it's kind of great that Sam like, you know, made money, but it's not like he's some Russ contract.

It's, it doesn't feel like he's so on a different plane.

He's also not doing what Russ did and like having a different office and

high knees on the plane.

I mean, yeah, I still love him.

He's a giant now, buddy.

So he's my, he's my, he's my, he's my thing.

He was in Pittsburgh when I roasted the Steelers, and they told me he was just going to be the rookies.

And so like for their talent show, you know, like to do four hard knocks and and all that.

And I get in there and it's everybody.

Tomlin's there.

Russ and Justin Fields right there.

I was like, uh, Cam hates.

So now I'm like way more nervous.

Cam's cool as shit.

He did our Dr.

Phil Live in Pittsburgh.

Yeah, he's cool.

And

I was like, God damn it.

But I had a Russ joke.

So I was like, I'm just going to open with it and set the tone.

So I go, Russ.

I go here.

I go, Russ, dude, I'm a Seattle boy.

Thanks for all the memories, dude.

I'm glad you got out.

You're getting a fresh start in Pittsburgh, man.

They did you dirty in Denver, man.

They did you dirty.

I haven't seen someone get fucked that hard on camera since Diddy's house.

Oh.

And right out of the gate.

And everyone died.

And this was right when that shit was going down.

That's your lead.

And then I got down.

I get down on the knee and I give him a dip.

And I go, Russ is laughing.

I go, we're fine.

And then I go, go, Hawks.

And

yeah, but I think he's going to rip it for you guys.

I do too.

Well, you're talking about more ball left.

This is the first time for the Giants.

We were talking about it in a show last week, I think.

The vibes are at least, I don't know if the Giants are going to win seven, eight games.

They might still win four or five, but the vibes are at least high.

They're exciting.

They have someone who could throw downfield.

There's a young quarterback in the waiting.

So

it's been a while since the Giants had that.

But I don't really give that much shit to the Giants.

They give me so much joy with those two Patriots Super Bowls that even when things are bad and it's pretty bad.

I'm like, yeah, but they still gave us 2011 and 2007.

It's like, I can't really complain.

Yeah, man.

All right.

We're going to do a little for you.

Please.

All-time Seattle athletes and where do they kind of rank.

And you can go any sport.

You go in and out of basketball, whatever.

Mount Rushmore.

You're Mount Rushmore.

We're Seattle athletes.

That's my favorite.

That's like my favorite athlete.

It's got to be.

Is he really?

Oh, he's.

I was a baseball player.

I love it.

Whoa, of course you were.

Well, let me guess.

Pitcher.

No, first base.

Pitcher.

Throwing heat.

Throwing heat.

Lefty.

Gas.

So you didn't, you picked football over baseball, but could have maybe done.

No, so I, so.

Quick story.

I tore my shoulder up pitching at high school, my freshman year, full reconstructive at 14.

So I was flagged.

I was freshman tackle, had surgery after, quit baseball.

Just said, were you on your path, though, to like, oh, I was gassed.

You were throwing heat.

My dad played in the minors.

My brother played as all baseball dream.

So you were like, oh, I'm going to be a no, I was just like, I'll try football and see what happens.

I love you.

You were on the path.

Oh, yeah.

I was, I was, I was, major leagues was my dream.

That's like, you know, I told my mom, I'm going to buy you a house.

I'm going to be a pitcher, all that type of shit.

And then I, I just, dude, I was.

I pitched to his five-year-old at his house last night.

And as the kids say in like the Little League World, this kid was hitting nukes nukes off me, bro.

Not even like,

oh, like he makes good contact.

Like, he's five-year-old.

And by the way,

they just do like a Kelsey fucking bow and arrow.

Oh, yeah, he hit me with a bow and arrow, too.

I was like, all right.

And they got my kids trying to be like, is there a T I could hit this off?

But my favorite dude was

the kid, man.

Bro, the kid.

So growing up.

Kids number one.

I'd be like having Jordan in Chicago.

Going to the field.

You went, I bought the candy bars, ate them all, fat fuck.

Great shoes, too, man.

He had great shoes.

He had great shoes.

Video game.

I was

game.

Ken Griffey.

We voted on ours.

That was up there all-time sports game.

He was on Fresh Prince.

That's right.

I mean, he just was like the guy.

And the fact that he was not unanimous for the Hall of Fame is wild.

Same with each row.

Just gotta be a good one.

Is he not unanimous?

The kid?

Ichiro, by the way, that's not one vote.

And he talks shit to the guy, right?

Oh, he's awesome.

They put a seat up too at his ceremony in Seattle.

That's preserved.

And Rick Riz, our voice of the Mayor's, was like, he's up there.

We got a seat for him.

His email must have gotten lost in the mail or whatever.

So you go, the kid won.

And I agree.

That's like universal.

Bro, I mean, he's.

And then it's a package deal, but I'm going Kemp and Payton.

Because again,

Seattle is a man, it's even tough to say what sport.

If I was hard-pressed, I don't know what I would pick because the 90s for Sonic basketball was wild, dude.

And that those finals,

there's a good YouTube for you.

If you are a basketball fan, I got to be chummy with Kemp and Payton and convince them both to do a podcast with me at at a comedy club where we could smoke and drink on stage.

And they are losing.

They got out on the plane.

It's, oh, Jared, you got to watch it and tell me how you dig it after.

Afterwards, Peyton was like, I mean, I was killing him.

And it was just, but still asking good questions, like interviewing, but then keeping it silly and making fun of this and that.

And like, they were rolling.

They got great senses of humors.

And we were smoking Kevin.

And once, how long ago was this?

On 420 in Seattle.

Recently.

This past April.

Yeah.

I hope you asked Peyton about his last dance.

Like, yo, you were tiring out, Jordan.

You remember his clip?

Yeah, I was going to tire.

And Jordan's like, I didn't ask that only because he's been, I try to not ask things that they've been hit a lot.

A lot on.

Yeah.

I didn't even go down because that's why I want to do it as they've done all these interviews that are just all the same shit of like, when's your basketball coming back?

Obviously, we talked about that a little bit, but like, this was more like, you know,

do they have like a certain call when they were giving Alley oops?

Yeah.

And like the noises he would make.

And,

you know, some of these bench players.

We had a guy named Steve Scheffler that played at Purdue.

He was 6'10.

He was come off the bench to do us, but he was a fan favorite.

And he had like the Dumb and Dumber Lloyd Christmas haircut.

I remember 6'10 and huge.

I remember.

And we would go nuts when you go in the game.

And they were like, Kemp had this great clip where he's like, dude, they would, we'd send him in, even so it's the players to like fuck people up.

Yeah.

Like throw both, like get fouls.

Like Bill Ember.

You needed that in the 90s.

You needed that.

And he said he was an amazing practice player.

And it was just, anyway, and then we were smuggling.

And then we finally got a little too high and I like wrapped it up because Kemp was fading fast.

But it was great.

and that's my YouTube.

But so, Sheffield is your number three there.

She was my number three.

All right,

no, I'm going, I'm going Griff, I'm going Kemp Payton.

Yep, um,

oh man, dude,

I gotta throw Sue Bird in there.

She's a fucking beast, and when the soups left, she kept basketball alive in Seattle and won championship and is also like

unreal, like such

and as cool as she is, kind as she is, yeah, knows 90s RB.

I mean, and she's uh, she's the fucking fucking goat and a legend and, and, and so, uh,

yeah, I don't know, man.

What people, there's some comics that shit on the WNBA, and you know who you are.

And I'm like, enough.

You did it.

You made all the women basketball jokes.

Yeah.

Uh, it makes you look weird and weak to make fun of it, but, um, but she's just a beast.

And that's a great number three.

And, and, and really, they just put a statue up of her outside of Climate Pledge, which rules.

Um, that's my number three.

And then, uh you gotta throw a siak in there i mean my favorite siak was cam chancellor um beast mode obviously but like i like picking like like the same way you would go like oh who was your favorite muppet kirman the frog mine was ralph the dog matt hasselback matt hasselback was my favorite muppet yeah uh hasselback was great too he's great though he's great uh

dude has you can't dude that might you might let him in there he led you to a super bowl he also was so good and he was the first uh guy when i i became a fan of the hawks when homegreen got there yeah and so hasleback I mean,

he was a beast, dude.

He was.

He had a great player.

He's a gamer.

Oh, man.

One of the sports.

I'm not a hockey guy.

I just didn't grow up with it.

So, who was your Seahawk?

Did you say?

I think Cam.

Cam.

Cam Chance.

Cam Chance.

I mean, Beast Mode is an easy pick.

Cam Chancellor was a fucking beast.

He was a beast.

I guess I could throw another baseball player in there.

Randy Johnson.

He got to do the beast.

Escape was wild, dude.

I mean,

he was so good.

I met him at

spring training in 95 when I was 13, and a bunch of kids rushed his Ford Bronco that Tiger Stripes on it outside of Peoria, the sports complex, and everyone rushed up to his car, and he rolls the window and goes, back away from the vehicle.

And everyone was like, oh, shit.

Sorry, sir.

Everyone pulled back.

I was like, eh, and put my ball up there.

So I still got a signed ball from the big unit.

And then I ran into him at the X Games.

In like 2015, he was taking pictures.

He's a photographer now.

And I see him.

I'm in this, my buddy worked for him.

So I'm like back there.

And I'm like, I'm wearing my M's hat.

I went to SC.

He went to SC.

And I'm like, big unit, man, big fan, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Spend a lot of money, emotional tears, and wear and tear on supporting you during the 90s, man.

You mind if I grab a pick?

He's like, I'd rather not, man.

I go,

I go, bummer.

I go, do you mind if I ask why?

And he goes, I don't know, man.

I just, I don't know.

I don't trust you.

I don't know if like, you might just like Photoshop my head onto like, you know, like a centaur's body or something.

He said that.

Yep.

I go, Randy Johnson, you have the Adam Ray stamp of approval that I will not Photoshop your head onto a fucking Pegasus or whatever the fuck you just said, a dragon.

I'm not, I'm 30, I was 32 at the time.

I go, they're probably going to post it and say, I met my hero.

And then I go, did that happen?

He goes, yeah, dude.

A lot of people Photoshop my head onto like weird shit.

And I go.

They can do that anyway without this picture happening.

Totally.

We can, I can just grab a picture.

If I had enough,

if I had enough like

dude, if I had enough wits, I would have been like, you know, I'm going to do it anyway.

So you might as well just be, you know, kind of control your expression in the picture.

So then he goes, I'll sign your hat, though.

And I was was like,

all right, I guess.

Yeah.

That's grudgingly.

So the big unit, yeah.

So Griff,

Peyton Kemp, Peyton Kemp, Sue, Cam, big unit, dude.

I mean, there's a lot to pick from, but and no, and then Adam Ray from I got to pick myself from sixth grade.

Till now, till current or sixth grade.

Sixth grade I peaked, dude.

Sixth grade hoops.

I had a triple double on the

double double afterwards.

My coach called me Krispy Kreme Abdul Jabbar.

I was a fat fuck.

I was quick fat.

Famously, we played this all-black team for the championship in this tournament.

We had no business winning.

They were unreal.

And I went off, dude.

I was sky hooks.

The clip.

I'm going to actually send you the clip.

You can cut it.

We'll put it in this.

And I went off.

And you're going to see some of these highlights.

I mean, my titties are just jiggling down.

Are you back to the basket?

Are you facing up?

Bro, back to the basket.

I was everywhere.

And

at the end, I hit this shot to seal the deal, put us up six with like 12 seconds left.

And the coach for the other team just goes, man, that fat motherfucker's killing us.

And I'm like, you can hear it?

I'm just bouncing, fucking hitting me.

Titties hit me.

I'm like, I think he's talking about me.

Yeah.

Buddy.

That's Matt.

You believe that that?

Are you sure that's not Chris Farley?

He said Chris.

Bro.

All right, let me pick up mine now.

Well, don't fucking take a picture.

No, I'm getting my picture.

We're going.

You guys, if you want to see mine, it's very recent.

You just Google me.

You can see that.

They call me Shamu.

That was my nickname.

No.

Oh, dude, that makes me sad.

Yeah, it was rough.

Fuck, dude.

What?

I mean, I got Jello Jiggler.

I had fucking penis and tits kid.

All right, here we go.

I didn't have that.

Oh,

and look at us holding the hinges.

Kendra Gill.

Look at us holding the hinges.

Where's the camera?

Wait, dude, throw that in there, bro.

What is the hand-holding

liner?

And then here's the, I think here's the winner, though.

The hand-holding is the best, bro.

You were so happy in that photo.

Dude,

Sharon, do I have lesbians from Rainbow from the Monday?

So he's got it.

Kendall's got his hand out like this.

I pulled that up at the Kent Payton thing, and Payton's like, look at James.

Why is he holding it?

He goes, that ain't good.

He can't be holding your hands like that.

You're 12 years old.

You could tell he was like trying to shake because he's like this and you're just like this.

I think I just put my hand out like rock, paper, scissors.

Dude, that's paper cover or something.

Oh, dude.

You won the battle.

I think in the first first round, you defeated Leinard straight up.

Fuck you.

You're the man, bro.

Honored to be here.

You're the best.

Congraps on the pod.

You guys are crushing it.

I'll come back anytime.