219: Trip to the Edge.. Ft. Chris Klemens & Michaela Okland

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Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by DiSerono. Come to my place for the holidays, and you'll best believe I'll be serving up DiSerono.
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The legend of DeSerono begins. Okay, family.

Speaker 1 Are we seated?

Speaker 2 I'm like filled with vengeance right now. I'm like, I want to kill him.

Speaker 2 And you'll never know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 Maybe it'll be in the bloopers someday.

Speaker 2 No, you can put it in. I said that all that shit with my chest before publicly.

Speaker 3 I want it to be in.

Speaker 2 I know. I'm like, put it out there.

Speaker 1 Chris is feeling

Speaker 2 spiceful.

Speaker 1 Spiceful. Stir the potty.

Speaker 2 I'm not stirring a pot.

Speaker 3 I just you're knowing what the pot is and you're calling

Speaker 2 it, but I'm talking about criminal activity.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's so true.

Speaker 2 You know, like I'm not stirring a pot. I am literally talking about what should be court documents.

Speaker 1 There are, there are some influencers out there that should not have platforms. We'll put it that way.
Michaela and I met some crazy ones on our trip.

Speaker 3 It was so

Speaker 2 great.

Speaker 1 I've never been more exhausted.

Speaker 2 Can we talk about it on Patreon?

Speaker 1 A conversation.

Speaker 3 They were just like so awful in person. And then, like, I texted one of my friends about it.
And they're like, oh, yeah, he got canceled this year.

Speaker 2 Wee.

Speaker 1 For also being a pedophile.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 3 Many such cases.

Speaker 2 Oh, I don't know who that is.

Speaker 2 I'm no angel.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you that right now. I'm no saint.
I know it. I know I have downfalls.
I can be flaky.

Speaker 3 But I care too much.

Speaker 1 I care too much.

Speaker 2 But I'm not a pedophile.

Speaker 2 Definitely not.

Speaker 3 I'm too generous with my time and my resources.

Speaker 1 Hey, Michaela's being my little hype girl right now. We just, we, we can't.

Speaker 2 I can be flaky is the funniest thing. I can also not be perfect.

Speaker 2 We're talking about criminal activities.

Speaker 1 No, but I will say, like, I, I don't want to talk mad shit. I don't want to open like a can of worms.

Speaker 1 But like some of the influencers out there that are like fan favorites, I'm like, no, you're, they're genuinely like just not. They have to be fascinated.

Speaker 2 No, if people fucking knew, ooh, one day when I like delete the accounts, you'll do a television. I'll write a book.
You'll do a television. The shit that I motherfucking know.

Speaker 1 People are just cruel.

Speaker 2 I've done this shit for too long not to know everything. Yeah, there's a lot out there.

Speaker 1 But this is all coming up as Mikaela and I just did our first like friend trip together. We went to London.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 3 I have a shirt. I have a souvenir.
I love London.

Speaker 2 Here you love London.

Speaker 3 I was hoping Morgan would wear one too and we would match, but that didn't happen. And that's okay.
I'm here alone.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 But we had a good trip together, which is not the case for a lot of people. Travel can bring out the terrorists.

Speaker 2 The terrorists being terrible.

Speaker 1 That sounded bad. Travel can be terrible.

Speaker 2 No, there is terror in traveling at night.

Speaker 2 Traveling does turn me into a bad person.

Speaker 1 Okay. What have you, what's the worst thing you've done on a trip?

Speaker 2 I mean, nothing because I'm like a a fucking people pleaser, but it's like all internal. Same.
It's like on flights and like,

Speaker 2 ugh, like when the middle seat is open and they're like boarding has concluded and you're like, fuck yeah.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden a random bitch appears five minutes later and takes the middle seat and I'm like, I thought the door was closed.

Speaker 1 Literally.

Speaker 2 Thought that door was closed.

Speaker 1 Literally all the time.

Speaker 2 All the time. Why are you in the seat next to me and I'm pissed?

Speaker 1 The most awkward is like you nuxed the person across. This was me recently.
I nuxed him.

Speaker 2 I go, I just looked an hour ago and it was open and we nuxed and then literally someone sat there that happened no that was two flights ago i brought it yesterday though on myself with the nux yesterday was my first middle seat ever open

Speaker 2 yeah wow wow i mean i'm usually flying first class so there is a middle seat but

Speaker 2 i didn't

Speaker 2 last night and i was brave and rewarded

Speaker 2 i feel lucky if i get a window no honestly though

Speaker 2 it is not as sexy as you like i'm not saying that as a flex

Speaker 2 yeah i just literally have horrible anxiety on planes same and i just feel like i have a little bit more space i can't even go into the hall i totally get it no i could really go off on like an hour and a half rant about airlines and how

Speaker 2 many seats on plane

Speaker 2 newark is the product we don't need this is so stupid no one's like tuning in for a current event that's fine travel today guys i've i've got some amazing guest co-hosts down here on the the sofa.

Speaker 1 We've got Chris Clemens joining.

Speaker 1 If you didn't recognize that beautiful voice, and Michaela Oakland.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 1 I know you guys love that. Not.

Speaker 1 But very excited. Chris has a new podcast.
We talked about it on our episode with him just a few weeks ago. Chris versus the people.

Speaker 2 Wow. Not me clipping that and having a new intro.

Speaker 2 Can you imagine? Gavel.

Speaker 2 A gavel with like a bomb. Ooh.
I don't know why this is going there today, but like, she's like an immediate explosion.

Speaker 1 I let gavel explosion. Yeah.
And little Chris heads fly out of it.

Speaker 2 Sure. Like, why not? I've smoked enough for that to be feasible.
I know. I like this.

Speaker 2 Same.

Speaker 1 Michaela, amazing as always.

Speaker 3 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I recently discovered the She-Rates Dogs.
Instagram was banned. So if we have anyone out there that can help get that back for Michaela.

Speaker 3 Oh, wow. Yeah.
I mean, that's been years, but that would be awesome. Yeah.
Much appreciated.

Speaker 3 The dogs were men.

Speaker 2 So true. And I did rate them, yeah.
No, so true. And God, we need that page back.
We need it back. So if anyone's out there, bring her home.
No, let's bring her home. Bring her back.

Speaker 1 But on that note, let's get into these terrible travel

Speaker 1 tribulations. Tales.

Speaker 2 Okay. Trials and tribulations.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll see what a trip.

Speaker 3 These trips.

Speaker 2 Quadruple T. What a trip.

Speaker 1 Let's dive in.

Speaker 1 Okay, friends, before we get into the stories this week, I just want to let you know that this episode is presented by Duluth Trading from my very own hometown. Hot summer days got you sweating.

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Speaker 1 Find out more and gear up for summer at dulutrading.com. This first one,

Speaker 1 a little vintage, okay, coming from Am I the Asshole? It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Abandoning My Parents at an Island in the Caribbean so I could get back to our cruise in time?

Speaker 1 I graduated from high school back in December. As a gift, my parents got me a cruise.
It was also for my 18th birthday. It was also a family vacation.

Speaker 1 We usually stay at all-inclusive resorts, but I have always wanted to go on a cruise.

Speaker 1 I told my parents it was different and that if we went on excursions, we had to follow the schedule no matter what.

Speaker 1 Well, it was a week-long cruise, and they would not head back to the ship when I said it was time to go. They were busy shopping and bargaining with the locals.

Speaker 1 I finally said that I was heading back to the ship. My mom waved me off.
They missed the departure by a lot, like 45 minutes. They got a hold of me through WhatsApp.

Speaker 1 They wanted to know why I didn't get the boat to wait for them.

Speaker 1 I wanted to scream that they were not going to inconvenience 3,998 people because two could not understand what a schedule was.

Speaker 1 They ended up having to fly to the next port from there, and it was expensive. They are pissed at me for leaving them behind.
I don't know what I was supposed to do.

Speaker 1 They literally told me that they knew what they were doing. I wish I had never asked for this.
They are making me miserable because I left without them.

Speaker 3 I don't know what kind of power they're thinking, like, you can stop the boat.

Speaker 2 But also, it's like, okay, that person is 18 now, but they're still the adults in the situation. Like, I'm.

Speaker 2 Are we kidding?

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 you had to buy expensive tickets from the the port that you got left at to the next one. Aren't you glad you only had to buy two and your kid got on the ship?

Speaker 1 Because otherwise you would have had to buy three.

Speaker 2 They're adults.

Speaker 2 They should know better. I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 How is it your child's fault that you missed your own port time?

Speaker 2 Yeah, and like, who do you even go to tell on a boat? Like,

Speaker 2 stop the ship right now.

Speaker 2 I mean, you can't even stand in front of it like it's a bus.

Speaker 1 No, you guys, this is really bad, too.

Speaker 2 Like, I feel like when people fall overboard they can't even like stop it that fast it just keeps i well also i also don't know if they would i do think it's the original poster's fault for wanting to go on a cruise um but

Speaker 2 are they i fucking cruise

Speaker 3 like i know it's like it's like a floating petri dish and there are no i don't even

Speaker 2 well yeah maybe a little of that it's i just don't need to be like stuck

Speaker 2 like there's no exit strategy like i'm not rich enough to have a helicopter come pick me up. Like, it's like you're committing to the people you're with.

Speaker 3 But if you go with like the right group of people, I think a cruise could be something so fantastic.

Speaker 3 I don't, you don't have to repack every time you go to a new location. Like, all the food is included.
Like, you have a whole room full of stuff, but you're going to all these different countries.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I think it can be.

Speaker 2 You have to

Speaker 3 have a pool on the deck.

Speaker 1 Oh, the pool, the drinks, unlimited sausages,

Speaker 1 the dance competitions the

Speaker 2 musical performances i want to be a cruise person i just like am not that kind of person i never thought i would like i just i i've done like mini or cruises that have maybe like 300 or 500 people on it and like that was doable

Speaker 2 I just seeing the same people every day and like when they get on your fucking nerves,

Speaker 2 it's just like,

Speaker 1 see, I want to go on a big cruise where I make new friends every day.

Speaker 3 See, that's my name. You'd be really good at that.

Speaker 1 I want Carnival to sponsor me. Oh, yeah.
Virgin Atlantic. Whoever's got a ship, I will go on it.
I will record an episode there.

Speaker 3 Delta does know.

Speaker 2 Delta has cruise girls. That's all you had to say.

Speaker 3 They've been emailing me about this giveaway I've been trying to enter every day.

Speaker 1 I want to go. I want to be on a boat.
I never thought I'd be a cruise girl. I thought it was my literal nightmare.
And I've been seeing really good promo

Speaker 1 put me on the boat. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm a boat girl.

Speaker 1 Not a yacht girl.

Speaker 2 A boat girl. A cruise girl.
Okay, period.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I think a lot of people, though, don't fuck with cruises. And I think, like, they recently just laid off a lot of people or something.

Speaker 3 There was some kind of article that came out recently about cruises like not having as much staff as they used to. And there are already so many things that happen on cruise ships, I feel.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 3 But that wouldn't happen to us because that's not like

Speaker 3 you know what we put in the universe.

Speaker 1 I don't think it happens. And we wouldn't get left out of port.
Yeah. No, we wouldn't.
We would be smarter than that. Yeah.
We would shop and make the boat in time. Not the asshole, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Where are we falling?

Speaker 2 Oh, not the asshole. So that person's not the asshole at all.
I can't believe this is even a question.

Speaker 3 No, didn't even do a single.

Speaker 2 Parents blow.

Speaker 1 Top comment, you're the asshole.

Speaker 2 What? I'm just kidding. Oh, top comment.
I was about to be like, so I fucking hate you, Reda.

Speaker 3 Like, what are we missing?

Speaker 2 No, I really was like, so wow. I've never missed something that

Speaker 2 absolutely.

Speaker 1 Top comment, not the asshole. They seriously think the ship will delay for 45 minutes.
Yeah, no. The docks and ship have a schedule to keep.

Speaker 1 They are adults and need to be responsible for getting back on time, which is something you have figured out in less than six months of being an adult.

Speaker 1 At least you don't have to go on any more vacations with them after this.

Speaker 1 This, not the asshole. I've been on a cruise.
They make it crystal clear that the ship waits for no one. Parents fucked around and found out.

Speaker 3 Planes don't wait for people either. Like, I don't know why they thought anybody would wait for them to begin with, even if they're not used to cruises.

Speaker 2 All just to what? Pick out, like, some shitty blouse that has seashells on it that she'll wear like once to like her weird racist country club.

Speaker 2 I mean, we were all thinking it right now.

Speaker 2 I don't. No, I wasn't either.
Who said, shut up?

Speaker 2 Jack Russell Terrier, Yorkshire pudding thing? That's my dead dog, Holly. Oh,

Speaker 2 well, that's amazing. I'm so glad I just had a conversation with her.

Speaker 3 I always loved that picture.

Speaker 2 I love the picture. I wish I knew the subject.

Speaker 1 I'm just kidding. Well, it is.

Speaker 1 You're fine. You're fine.

Speaker 2 Sure. This is a sinking ship.

Speaker 1 Just remember the Jolly Rancher story.

Speaker 2 Bitch, I'm trying not to. Okay.

Speaker 1 This next one. It's having quite the moment on Am I the Asshole.
It's like one of the top trending stories for the past couple weeks. Have not read it at all.
I'm going in blind with you guys.

Speaker 2 So here we go.

Speaker 1 Oh, let me just wipe my tears here.

Speaker 1 It's not like actually her. It looks like her, but it's a random offense.

Speaker 2 Oh, you fuck.

Speaker 1 But she did die.

Speaker 2 And it I believe that.

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 2 I need to go home

Speaker 2 to Delaware.

Speaker 2 I need to fly home. No.

Speaker 2 Just kidding.

Speaker 1 This next one coming from Am I the Asshole? 16 hours old. It is titled, Am I the Asshole for Booking My Own Airbnb so I don't have to sleep on a couch for six nights?

Speaker 2 Oh my god. I mean, like, I already know.

Speaker 2 I'm like, if anything, like, more power to you. Do you have a GoFundMe I can donate to? I support.

Speaker 1 My immediate and extended family have booked a vacation for later in the summer. My aunt, who found the place, knew the owner, and they got a great deal.
My aunt initially said there are six bedrooms.

Speaker 1 One room for her and her husband, one room for my parents, one room for my cousin and her husband, one room for my other cousin and his wife, and one room for their kids, who are both under 10.

Speaker 1 The last bedroom, you may wonder, is where my aunt made an innocent mistake in miscounting. There are only five bedrooms.
They told me that my boyfriend and I will have to sleep on a pull-out couch.

Speaker 1 I told my parents I would rather not sleep on a couch even if it does pull out. I also don't want to make my boyfriend sleep on the couch with me either for his own privacy.

Speaker 1 It's in the living room, which is in the middle of everything.

Speaker 1 I would rather not be woken up to people starting their day, and I would rather not have to change in the bathroom each and every time or even leave all of my stuff in the living room as well.

Speaker 1 I don't want to change in my parents' room either because I know I would probably rush so that they can have their own privacy.

Speaker 1 I don't want to put my luggage in anyone else's room and fill their room with my clutter. Same goes for my boyfriend.
I don't want to make him do all of that either.

Speaker 1 My family has never had this big of a vacation altogether in such a long time.

Speaker 1 I would love to be involved and whatnot, but I said I would rather not go if I can't have a room to myself, or I'll book my own place nearby and I will pay for my part for the main house everyone else is in, regardless.

Speaker 1 My mom refused both options, as I will ruin the trip if I don't stay under the same roof. If I get my own place to stay, it will solely be to sleep.

Speaker 1 I plan to be with my family at all other times and events. I don't care about the price of only getting an Airbnb just to sleep.
I want my privacy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Haven't mentioned it to my cousins or anyone else yet that I'm considering getting my own place as close as possible, though. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 3 Easy no again. Like,

Speaker 2 yeah, I'm like, this is the easiest test I've ever taken.

Speaker 2 No, yeah, it seems reasonable. I'm sorry.
I've maybe I'm the asshole here and have been thinking it since I was fed the information. Why are the fucking 10-year-olds not sleeping on a couch?

Speaker 2 You don't even need to pull out the couch for them. They're 10.
That was my question. They could sleep on the fucking hardwood and be okay.

Speaker 1 Why are you not getting a little blow-up bed to put in their parents' room? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, why? Why are they coming? They're not going to remember.

Speaker 1 Why will will they be there chris is on that them kids i just don't get that i my first thought was like they're both under 10. they're still like they're little

Speaker 2 their bodies haven't gone into decline yet they like yeah they are

Speaker 2 fine to sleep on the couch and again the floor outside

Speaker 2 on the beach

Speaker 1 kids fall asleep everywhere exactly have you seen like i feel like i've seen some crazy videos of like this kid falling asleep upright and she's like i want a popsicle oh yeah or or like, when you're little and you're sleeping over at your friend's house, you will find anywhere to sleep.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, I slept on a sleeping bag on the floor.

Speaker 3 You'll find anything to keep you warm. Yeah, like you make it work.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you like have vigor for life. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I get like, okay, that aunt got the Airbnb and got a good deal. So it's like, oh, well, my grandbabies should have a room.
But it's like. They're 10.

Speaker 1 They might find it fun to sleep in the living room.

Speaker 2 And like, make sure it's fun.

Speaker 3 They'll think it is.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 3 Just tell them this is such a fun, exciting place for them to sleep.

Speaker 2 We wanted to save this just for you to see.

Speaker 3 Yeah, this this is the biggest room in the house.

Speaker 2 Because you'll be able to build a fort.

Speaker 3 And it was the aunt's mistake.

Speaker 1 Exactly. To put two adult, like a couple of people.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if the aunt made the mistake, take her kids and take her kids. Put them down out back.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm sure there's a spot for a blow-up mattress somewhere for these two. That's more fun.

Speaker 2 They don't need a blow-up. They have a couch.

Speaker 1 I'm fine with the couch.

Speaker 2 I sleep on a couch. I just slept on a couch two nights ago.
There you go. You're, yeah.
I mean, it was a very wide couch and it was very luxurious, but a a couch nonetheless.

Speaker 1 It was a couch nonetheless.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And I slept like a literal 10-year-old baby.

Speaker 1 I feel like you should always prioritize the adults sleeping. Like 100%.
I just, I don't know why.

Speaker 2 I'm like, you've earned that bed. You've earned that bed.

Speaker 1 You're more flexible. Have you guys ever had like weird Airbnb trips with friends where like you get the short stick and you're in a room that doesn't have blackout curtains?

Speaker 2 Or any quite specific. I'm just going to say that.
It was like,

Speaker 2 maybe?

Speaker 3 I was so ready to say yes when you started that question, but then you made it about blackout curtains specifically.

Speaker 2 No, and then I was like, I don't need blackout curtains for the record. Like, I sleep with my curtains open.

Speaker 3 I do like blackout curtains, but then I won't wake up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like when I go to Vegas, I wake up at like 2 p.m. and then my day is over.

Speaker 1 You're both telling me you don't.

Speaker 3 It just means when we travel together, you can get through them with the blackout curtains.

Speaker 2 What, but hey,

Speaker 2 I don't need blackout curtains.

Speaker 1 The sun comes up at like 5 a.m., 6 a.m.

Speaker 2 Right. And I ignore.
And like I wake up naturally instead of having an alarm beep at me. Oh, I can't have an alarm wake me up.
No, I would rather like

Speaker 2 take.

Speaker 3 I think it's so like the Industrial Revolution did a lot of bad shit, but alarms is one of the worst. Yeah.
Clocks and alarms is one of the worst.

Speaker 1 You have to find a better alarm sound. No.

Speaker 3 No, I just like don't need to wake up to an alarm.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 If I know that I woken up, the sun.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 3 And if I know that I need to wake up at 8 a.m., like my body will wake up at 7 58.

Speaker 2 oh no i mean if i know i have to be up if i know i have to be up i'll set an alarm like that's the last resort but like you two are crazy like working from home i just kind of wake up and also my dogs wake up too so like you do have a built-in alarm clock with them i'm like sort of usually up and out of bed at like

Speaker 2 730

Speaker 2 pretty routinely that's crazy i need to be woken up by an alarm i've become such a morning person yeah i mean like i'm still like a dreadful person in the morning. See, I'm not like I

Speaker 2 just wake up early, I guess. That's insane.
It's kind of nice, though, because a lot of people are still asleep and no one can bother you. Like, I really, it's why I like working at night.

Speaker 2 That's why I like it. It's because, yeah, everybody's asleep, and you can just like lock in.
But then, how do you get up?

Speaker 1 I'm blown away by this.

Speaker 2 I,

Speaker 1 if the sun wakes me up, I'm pissed. I love to be woken up by a peaceful alarm clock.
What?

Speaker 3 A

Speaker 2 peaceful alarm clock is an oxymoron.

Speaker 2 How can that be?

Speaker 1 My phone has the sleep thing and it slowly gets louder so it's like this little twinkle it's like it could be any like lovely sound in the world but if i'm associating it with this wakes me up it will become the worst sound in the world see

Speaker 2 i'm terrible if a person wakes me up i get mean oh i punched my mom in the face before i wasn't awake to know i did sorry like she was bother she was bothering me she was waking me up I was like living at home still like my mom was being a bitch like no she wasn't she was like Chris wake up and I guess I punched her.

Speaker 2 And I came down and I was like, hey, like, what's up? I mean, not that happy. I was just like, good morning.
My mom was like, off. And I was like, what's going on? She's like, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 And I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, you punched me in the face. And I was like,

Speaker 2 well, that wasn't me. Oh,

Speaker 1 that is so unlike you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, right. I would usually punch my like brother in the face.

Speaker 1 This is why you need to use alarm clocks, people. It's safer.
Moving past this, I feel like I need to put a poll, though, to the people to be like, do you guys sleep sleep with blackout curtains?

Speaker 1 And would you rather have an alarm clock? I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'm do you wake? What's

Speaker 2 blackout curtains?

Speaker 1 I set my alarm for 9 a.m.

Speaker 2 That's so then why have blackout curtains?

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're gonna wake up that day

Speaker 2 because then you're awake and your like room is dark. So you're like, I'm actually still asleep.
It's very confusing to your body.

Speaker 1 The sun comes up so early and goes right in my window.

Speaker 2 Two hot takes, more like one hot take.

Speaker 2 Anyways, what are the the top comment say?

Speaker 1 Top comment on this one. Not the asshole.
I would get your own Airbnb. Why can't the kids get the pull-out couch? Are you expected to pay your fair share? What would that be? Is it per family, person?

Speaker 1 Like, are you expected to pay the same as all adults, but the kids get a room? As for mom, how will it ruin the trip? And if she feels that way, is she willing to take the living room?

Speaker 1 I think not.

Speaker 1 It seems your aunt's whole family gets the main rooms. Maybe suggest to your mom that she might like to Airbnb with you and your boyfriend, where if they need quiet time, they have a place to do so.

Speaker 1 Mom is probably saying the trip would be ruined because she would be the only one from her part of the family if you do not stay there.

Speaker 3 Yeah, get her in your Airbnb.

Speaker 1 I think that's actually a great idea.

Speaker 2 Yeah, threaten it and then you,

Speaker 2 your side of the family doesn't pay for that house. And then all of a sudden the aunt's like, no, no, no, wait.
The kids can come to the house. I want to split it.
The kids cannot come.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 OP does respond to this.

Speaker 1 My aunt, who has planned/slash found this house, and the young children are her direct bloodline. So I guess they have the upper hand over me.

Speaker 1 My mom is sisters with my aunt who booked it, but the young children are my aunt's sons. So I guess that trumps my 24-year-old ass lol.

Speaker 1 Per person pays. I will be paying the same as the adults.
I don't mind still paying to keep the peace, even if I could get my own place to sleep somewhere else. My mom's always been like that.

Speaker 1 Wonderful woman, but perfectionist, I guess. She always says how the family has to stick together and bullshit.
I don't know. I'm close with her, but it's annoying to hear LOL.

Speaker 3 I feel like because she planned the trip, she should be more

Speaker 3 likely to let someone else have the room.

Speaker 2 Yeah, be more hospitable. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I feel like it should be the opposite.

Speaker 2 A great host.

Speaker 1 Well, everyone's paying the same, so it's like, why is anyone else more entitled?

Speaker 3 Especially as being too nice.

Speaker 1 24-year-old adult couple.

Speaker 2 I would say, fine, I'll take the couch, but I am paying 25 cents.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would get a little snarky, probably.

Speaker 1 I'd have a hard time with this.

Speaker 2 I'd be like, I actually bought an eight-bedroom house next door. So you guys have fun.

Speaker 1 Absolutely goofy.

Speaker 2 I just don't understand. Like, that's like hosting a dinner party and not having enough chairs and then telling someone that they have to like sit on the floor.

Speaker 2 It's like, no, if you're hosting that, you sit on the floor. And they have to pay

Speaker 3 the table price.

Speaker 2 They have to pay for a plated seat.

Speaker 1 No update from OP.

Speaker 1 No update. Couple comments, but I cannot gather an inkling on what they are going to do.
So OP, if you're out there, we would like an update.

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm assuming because of how big of a people pleaser they are, they are just going to sleep on the couch.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 2 I just don't see it.

Speaker 3 I mean, yeah, them offering to like still pay the same thing. Like that just shouldn't be happening.

Speaker 2 But at that point, like, if you're already going to be paying for the house, just like

Speaker 2 make everyone regret making you have to sleep in the public room. Like, I would leave my dirty underwear everywhere.
I would maybe like rub some fresh shit on the floor just for effect.

Speaker 2 It doesn't have to be shit. It can be like pudding.

Speaker 2 But you got to like scare the people into thinking, like, wow, we really don't need them in a public space. Oh, my God.
You know, get them in the bedroom. Yes.

Speaker 2 Have gay sex on the couch.

Speaker 1 It could work.

Speaker 2 Just at seven in the morning. You won't be sleeping on that couch anymore, or maybe under that roof.
So a win is a win.

Speaker 1 I mean, we had a stepmom and a cousin.

Speaker 2 Girl, I don't know why we have to keep bringing up that episode. That is behind us.

Speaker 1 Still fresh for me.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's

Speaker 1 no, I feel like go get your own place yeah go get your own place you're an adult you're 24 especially if you're willing to cover it don't let your mom guilt trip you you got it yeah 100% get your own spot an adult the aunt sucks though aunt's a fuck person

Speaker 2 you think do you think it was malicious no it's just like it was malicious I just think I just think she's a bad host but also like getting mad

Speaker 3 for them

Speaker 1 like not wanting to stay there is weird too the mom I think that I mean that being the mom but I wonder if this was the aunt aunt being passive-aggressive, where it's like, we don't want them to have sex.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 1 we're going to put them on the couch.

Speaker 2 Just because the aunt's not having sex anymore doesn't mean she has to ruin it for everyone else. Damn.
Just because your husband doesn't want to have sex with you, that's not everyone else's problem.

Speaker 1 I could see this being a bit malicious.

Speaker 2 That's crazy.

Speaker 1 I could see it. Moving along.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Just like choosing a verdict on one of the stories we read, you want to make the right choice.

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Availability, amount of discounts, and savings, and eligibility vary by state. Michaela? Yes.

Speaker 1 You have some stories on your story.

Speaker 2 Am I up?

Speaker 3 Am I up to the plate?

Speaker 1 You might be.

Speaker 3 Guys, I'm so nervous. I've collected some stories today, and will they be okay? I don't know.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, wait, what? Yeah, was I supposed to collect stories?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're up next.

Speaker 3 Yeah, you're the next one, but I'll go first.

Speaker 2 No, you're not. Oh my god, I felt like I was in high school all over again.
Jesus Christ, that was so scary. I was like,

Speaker 2 oh, I totally didn't do that.

Speaker 2 I was probably told about that. Okay, anyways, no scared of these.

Speaker 3 You guys, this is from R/Relationship Advice. It's also a little vintage.
It's a year old.

Speaker 3 And the title is: My My 33 Female, BFF, 32 Female, ditched me on a vacation we spent years planning after her boyfriend, 30 male, proposed on the first night of our vacation.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 3 My BFF, let's call her Anne. She has a boyfriend, let's call Mark.
Originally, we were supposed to take this trip in early 2020, but that kind of didn't happen due to COVID.

Speaker 3 We luckily managed to get a refund on the majority of things. This trip served two main purposes.

Speaker 3 Firstly, for a vacation we have both wanted to do since we were young, and secondly, she was going to see a big chunk of her mom's side of the family she has not seen in over a decade.

Speaker 3 It was kind of split 50-50 since this was supposed to be almost a two-month trip I personally have been saving for years now.

Speaker 3 One thing to note is that Anne is fluent in the primary language of where we are vacationing while I am not.

Speaker 3 I can talk to some city people enough to get by, but once I leave and the slang and dialect start popping in, I'm lost. It was just supposed to be me and Anne.

Speaker 3 However, a last-minute addition was made with her including her current boyfriend of three years. This was more or less dropped on me pretty much two weeks before we left.

Speaker 3 I was really unhappy with this because, well, it messed up a lot of plans. But I begrudgingly accepted him after we reworked some stuff.

Speaker 3 However, I told Anne multiple times and her boyfriend that this trip is about us, not Anne and her boyfriend.

Speaker 3 The first night we were there, Mark dropped to one knee, pulled out the ring, and asked her to marry him. Since then, I feel like a third wheel who is no longer welcome on this trip.

Speaker 3 This has changed everything. The trip is now now basically about Anne and her new fiancé.

Speaker 3 Multiple times we had a lot of plans including some stuff that was already paid for and instead she ended up ditching me to go spend time with Mark.

Speaker 3 Tomorrow we're supposed to catch a train and travel for the next leg of our trip and she wants me to go alone.

Speaker 3 Instead, she confronted me and said that she needs at least a week to figure out feelings and organize her thoughts. So instead they booked without telling me some fancy couples thing.

Speaker 3 Instead, she wants me to go on a trip alone as a woman in a country I can barely speak the language of.

Speaker 3 Even worse, I'm basically gonna have to show up to some extended part of her family alone and ask to stay there. She said it's fine, but it's really not comfortable at all.

Speaker 3 I tried to talk to her and she got really upset and told me this vacation isn't just about me. And that hurt a lot.
Now pretty much.

Speaker 2 Oh yes, it isn't about you at all.

Speaker 3 Now pretty much I'm going to be spending Christmas alone in a country where I don't speak the language. I got pretty emotional and asked her, WTF am I expected to do?

Speaker 3 She got really defensive and said it's just a week and we're here until early February. She'll She'll meet up with me on New Year's, New Year's Eve, or the day after.

Speaker 3 My question is, how can I talk to her and make her understand that she can't just ditch me without coming off like a major asshole?

Speaker 2 I think you just say you're coming off as a major asshole.

Speaker 1 Honestly, this is insane.

Speaker 2 This is crazy.

Speaker 3 Two-month tripping on the first day.

Speaker 2 Just not even that, but like a two-month trip and

Speaker 2 some days before you find out that you have a

Speaker 1 third two weeks, yeah, which is too late to cancel anything and get your money back at that point.

Speaker 2 I, ooh, I'd feel so bad. That's not your friend, honey.
No,

Speaker 1 this is honestly, this would be friendship ending for me, likely because it's like, okay, you added your boyfriend, not what I agreed to. This was a two-month-long friendship trip.

Speaker 1 Why did you add him? He can't be alone without you. He doesn't trust you.
Is this a control thing? Huh? Weird. Okay, let's evaluate that later.

Speaker 2 Or if he wants to propose, tell him to book his own fucking trip. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Don't capitalize off ours.

Speaker 3 Now it's an engagement like ceremony.

Speaker 2 They're going to engage. Yeah.
This is weird.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, that's fine. He came.
He proposed the first night, which, God, you couldn't have waited until the last night. Right.

Speaker 2 But okay, here we are.

Speaker 1 You still should stick to the plan because otherwise you're leaving me high and dry. Yeah.
And I've spent so much money. I've saved for years to be able to do this.

Speaker 1 And you're completely disregarding me, disrespecting me as a person, as a friend, done.

Speaker 3 And having to go stay with that friend's family, looking like, hey, how y'all doing?

Speaker 2 Not even, hey, how y'all doing? The girl whose family it was hadn't seen them in 10 years. She was about to be like, hey, how y'all doing?

Speaker 2 What the fuck do you mean a friend is about to meet them when homegirl hasn't seen them in a decade?

Speaker 2 That's crazy behavior in the past. It feels so awkward.
That someone doesn't see that

Speaker 2 is like, you dodged a bullet, I fear. Well, you got hit by it, but like you dodged the second one.

Speaker 1 I would say so.

Speaker 3 Yeah, the first comment is, friendship is dead, my friend. I would accept that you need to rework the trip for yourself and take as a solo trip.
She doesn't care for you or your safety and comfort.

Speaker 3 It sucks, but how much are you supposed to take? Spend the extra money to be safe, and hopefully, she doesn't owe you any money.

Speaker 3 If you owe her money, I would keep track of your extra expenses and then let her know you're taking it from the money you owe her. Please update me, and I hope your trip turns out wonderful.

Speaker 2 Pay the extra money and go home.

Speaker 2 I would still no offense. I would talk to like, I'd be heartbroken.
I would be, oh my God, I mean, like, I would be so devastated.

Speaker 2 It's already hard enough when you're in like a random place you've never been. Yeah.
And then to like

Speaker 2 go through that.

Speaker 3 And she wouldn't have like even chosen that area to begin with. It was for the friend.
So now it's like, I was only going there for you anyway.

Speaker 1 I try to pivot as much as you can. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think I'd just go home at that point. If it was Christmas, I would be like, I think think I'd just take the L on this.

Speaker 1 Some of the best places to travel to, though, like

Speaker 1 they have like Christmas markets. There's Christmas things.

Speaker 2 I think to be alone on Christmas while going through the loss of a friendship.

Speaker 1 I know. It'd be heartbreaking.

Speaker 2 I would almost

Speaker 1 here's where I get goofy. Like, I would almost do it out of spite.
I would have the most amazing trip. And it's like, don't, don't, don't do it out of spite because that's not healthy.

Speaker 1 But like, do it for yourself because

Speaker 3 it will.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 It will be so magical. It has fueled me many years of my life, but this is crazy.
Also, what they just got engaged, and she needs a week to think about things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, wait, that was like, why'd you say yes to getting engaged? Are you thinking about your relationship or thinking about things with your friend?

Speaker 2 I think with the friend. Yeah, I think.
What did your friend do?

Speaker 2 I think,

Speaker 2 like, cause her stress on her engagement. I don't fucking know.

Speaker 2 I don't think this friend seems emotionally sound, but that's just me.

Speaker 3 Her saying, like, this isn't all about you.

Speaker 2 That's like, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 Instant bridezilla. Like, instant bridezilla.

Speaker 2 But it's also like, you're right. It isn't about me.
None of this has been about me when it was supposed to be about us.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 2 And I feel like I would honestly tell the girl, I'd be like, let's meet here. Don't worry.
No hard feelings. Let's have fun.

Speaker 2 And then I would send her to some random smandom fucking place and be like, can't wait to see you there. I booked us a hot hotel.

Speaker 3 I would make a TikTok about it, hope that the GoFundMe does amazing, and then get another friend to come with me.

Speaker 2 Ooh, yeah,

Speaker 2 I like that.

Speaker 3 Don't you think if you saw like a TikTok of someone going through this, you'd be like, I'm sending them 20 bucks.

Speaker 2 Yeah, oh my god, I absolutely would. And then I'd want them to book her wedding venue on her ideal date.
Period. Yes, you say you want to play, girl,

Speaker 2 go fund me.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 2 Signed Daddy Warbucks. Put the war in Warbucks.

Speaker 1 I like that. Thank you.
Michaela, as someone that did a little solo traveling

Speaker 2 yourself.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Michaela went to Portugal by herself.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I went to Portugal for a week by myself. And I did enjoy it, but I was like, I could see why this would get lonely.
And

Speaker 2 too long.

Speaker 3 Yeah, longer than this. I think I would

Speaker 3 get like friends sick. Like, I'd miss having my friends to hang out with.
Yeah. But it is fun for like a time.

Speaker 2 It's doable. It depends on where you're going to.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 But also, like, I went to the place that I wanted to go as a solo traveler. Like I planned it based on the fact that I'd be alone and like looked up what other people liked doing alone.

Speaker 1 So so cool. I give you so much credit for that.
That's amazing.

Speaker 3 It's like a little stressful like traveling around by yourself.

Speaker 2 No, it's like crazy.

Speaker 3 Because there was like a train strike the week that I was there that I didn't know about until I got there.

Speaker 3 So like there were a couple times that the train I was supposed to get on just didn't show up. But everything works out.

Speaker 2 It's fine. Everything works out.
But I'm here.

Speaker 1 She made it to London and then you made it back to stateside. So it's all good.

Speaker 1 What? Did we get an update on this?

Speaker 3 Checking. I'm looking into this.

Speaker 2 Please tell me we got an update.

Speaker 1 I will riot.

Speaker 1 I will shut all these cameras off. The show will be done if we don't have an update.

Speaker 2 I don't think we do.

Speaker 2 Right. Because

Speaker 3 the name of their Reddit account is like throwaway.

Speaker 3 And they're not like responding to any of the comments on the thing. She just wanted an event.
They have.

Speaker 1 This is the worst news I've had all day.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 3 That's their only post ever.

Speaker 3 Throw RA-Travel.

Speaker 3 They just made it to Vent. What an

Speaker 3 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 What a just horrific ending. Okay, let's write our own ending.
Yeah, well, let's see. The girl who got engaged had nodule gonorrhea, and the guy had to pull it out and bite it

Speaker 2 because it's stanky.

Speaker 1 Had to pull it out and bite it with no context is crazy no the girls that know know if you don't you've got some homework to do and you've got some th t episodes to cover patreon.com slash two hot takes patreon.com slash two hot takes thank you so much for including us in your dinner patreon when michaela and i were in london oh yeah olivia i see you a

Speaker 2 yeah they invited us to a dinner in london patreon oh yeah my family oh oh my god i i don't know what just happened i was like wait what

Speaker 2 They took care of us. Oh, I thought you meant like your patron.
That was really good. They win.
They gave you dinner.

Speaker 2 I love when Patreon wines. They had really good bread.

Speaker 3 They had really good bread.

Speaker 2 That's good bread and butter.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 Good cups. They gave me a little cup, a tea mug.
Love.

Speaker 2 It was good. A little mug for tea.

Speaker 1 Exactly. This episode is brought to you by Kraft Mac and Cheese.
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Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Ollie. You know what shouldn't be a hot take? Wanting great sex and a healthy hoo-ha.
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Speaker 1 These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Speaker 2 Moving along, let's talk about another proposal real quick, okay? Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 This is also coming from a relationship advice.

Speaker 3 I'm sure it'll be great. I'm sure nothing bad's going to happen.
It's going to be awesome.

Speaker 2 No, it's on Reddit. Only amazing things are said on Reddit.

Speaker 1 Hey, you had that palate cleanser on your last episode. You know, it can be good and wholesome, too.

Speaker 3 That's not the same thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you usually sort of lead with that. And I didn't see that.
I didn't see you leading with love.

Speaker 1 Hours old.

Speaker 2 Oh, I love a same day delivery.

Speaker 1 It is titled, My 32 Male, Girlfriend, 29 Female, Upset About Proposal. Oh, boy.
Recently got engaged, and my girlfriend didn't find it special enough.

Speaker 1 We went over to Monterey, the first place that we did a road trip together, and went on a hike.

Speaker 1 It was loaded with people because of Memorial Day weekend, and my girlfriend actually gets a little nervous around people.

Speaker 1 I originally wanted to go up to Big Sur and go on a trail that overlooks everything, but when I mentioned Big Sur, my girlfriend said that might be a bit far since we'd like to squeeze in the aquarium.

Speaker 1 Instead of choosing another trail, I had her choose one with a walking distance that she was comfortable with, and we basically went on a random trail until I found a spot to pop the question.

Speaker 1 I gave a little speech and got on one knee and asked her, and she was extremely happy in the moment and said yes. We walked back, and the rest of the trip went normally.

Speaker 1 When we got back home the next day, she asked, What did you plan? Just to see the details as she was curious and still happy. But to be honest, I didn't really have an answer.

Speaker 1 I booked a restaurant and wanted to take her to Big Sir, but what actually happened was we just went to Monterey and chose a random trail. No flowers, no poster, nothing but the ring.

Speaker 1 To her, it didn't feel special.

Speaker 1 She had booked the Airbnb and randomly chose a trail, and it basically felt like every other trip we go on. To me, my only requirement was basically that we go to Monterey.

Speaker 1 the first place we traveled to and propose at a hike, which was what we did on our first date together.

Speaker 1 She spent the whole next day crying and said it was her one and only time to be proposed to, and it just wasn't special.

Speaker 1 It's not like she wanted people there or anything, but just wished that I had planned more.

Speaker 1 In hindsight, I should have chosen the Airbnb and have been more adamant on going where I wanted to go, but I wanted to prioritize her comfort.

Speaker 1 Towards the end of the night, she said that she's not sad anymore and it's okay, but I feel terrible. I'm not sure what to do at this point.

Speaker 1 It just feels like we're not going to be okay and it's going to loom over her.

Speaker 1 Has anyone ever redone a proposal or something? I'm just looking for some advice and to see if this has happened to anyone else before. Please help.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I'm like torn on this one.

Speaker 2 I am too.

Speaker 3 I'm kind of torn because like it does, it sucks that she's having this reaction and like maybe he did the best he could, but also I could see being like, oh, you didn't like plan anything.

Speaker 3 Like no part of this was like,

Speaker 3 I don't know. Like as far as you got is just that we like went there.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 I mean, here's the thing. I think

Speaker 2 if she wanted it to be major,

Speaker 2 that's something you have no problem telling your significant other, I feel.

Speaker 2 Of like, I want a really special engagement. Like, I want the, like, I feel like friends have dropped shit like that that I know.
Like,

Speaker 2 I feel like then you say that, but also, like,

Speaker 2 he did try and plan Big Sir, and she was like, no.

Speaker 3 But you have to push a little bit, I feel, in that situation if you're the only one who knows that, like, that's why you want to do something a little more special. Yes.

Speaker 3 Like, she can be like, oh, I don't want to leave the hotel. I'm tired.
And then you have to be like, no, like, we really should go. It's like beautiful, you know.

Speaker 2 I guess, but like, the fact that there was meaning in Monterey

Speaker 2 and the trail, like, that to me is thought out.

Speaker 2 But, like, just because he used an existing trip, I don't think is a negative. No.
Because, like,

Speaker 2 it kind of makes it fly under the radar in terms of like surprise.

Speaker 1 And it genuinely is a surprise. Me, I knew it was coming.
I wish I didn't. I genuinely wish I was like thrown, but like, I'm an inquisitive little bitch.
Like, I knew it was coming.

Speaker 1 I'm paranoid and I get reads on vibes quick.

Speaker 1 I love that it was a surprise. I do think that he could have pushed and been like, no, I really want to go to big sur.
Like, it's supposed to be really cool this time of year.

Speaker 1 Totally. Let's go to big sir.
I do think he could have pushed more, but I've seen it where the boyfriend at the time did push and the girl was pouty and she was like, I don't want to go.

Speaker 1 And she wore sweatpants and a t-shirt. And that's what she got proposed in.
And then she's sitting there after the proposal, and like she made the TikTok video about it.

Speaker 1 And she goes, When you get crabby and pout on your trip, and then this is your proposal outfit.

Speaker 1 And so it was like her boyfriend kept being like, You should dress up, you should wear those heels, you should wear that dress. And she was like, No, we're going to the beach.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm wearing my sweats or whatever it was. And it's like, she got in her own way, she blocked her own blessing, and that's what this girl did too.

Speaker 3 Yeah, I feel that I'm very underqualified to give an opinion on this because I can't even emotionally comprehend the headspace of getting engaged to somebody. No, totally.

Speaker 3 And like what comes with that.

Speaker 2 But also, like,

Speaker 2 shouldn't it be about their love?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But like, if you're in love with someone, you, they should be able to propose at home and you should be fucking stoked. Like.

Speaker 2 Well, but I just feel like

Speaker 2 I just, I mean, like, to me, I'm like, if it's not about

Speaker 2 how, obviously, it's great when you're like somewhere sexy and you're looking sexy and you're, you know, like, that's obviously ideal, but isn't it at the end of the day that like someone wants to get married to you and you want to get married to them?

Speaker 2 100%.

Speaker 3 Of course. But isn't it also nice?

Speaker 2 Terrible people.

Speaker 3 Isn't it also nice, though, when you like make that life-changing decision to be like, wow. And like, he did it in such a special way.
And he knows me so well. And like, it was such a magical moment.

Speaker 3 And he really thought through like how it would feel for me, and like blah, blah, you know, X, Y, Z.

Speaker 3 Like, there's also, I can understand, it's not just like totally materialistic to wish for like, there'd be flowers or like written on the sand something or like something more of a romantic totally, but it's not like it was lacking romance, like there was sentiment behind it.

Speaker 3 And like, but if you always go on hikes with someone and then they just like propose to you on a trail one day, is it like really that special?

Speaker 2 Sorry, never mind. I don't know if that's their thing, but if that's their thing,

Speaker 2 it's a hard one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's definitely a hard one.
And like, I'd be curious to know what conversations they had about proposals before they were.

Speaker 2 So that's I was just listening up.

Speaker 1 This is the ring I would like. And, you know, I really envision getting engaged on like a really fun trip we take, like in Paris or whatever.

Speaker 3 Or like, oh, this friend's engagement looked like so lovely and special.

Speaker 2 That's what I mean.

Speaker 2 What was the conversation before? If there was none of that, then it's like.

Speaker 2 I don't know. You don't get what you don't ask for.

Speaker 1 I know. And that's what I'm like, I'm like, did she block her own blessing? Did this guy just kind of go AWOL and like went off script? Like, I am curious about more detail.

Speaker 2 The guy gives people pleaser just trying to make his girlfriend happy.

Speaker 1 I know. Well, he's talking at the end here.
I'm not sure what to do. Like, has anyone ever done a re-proposal and redone it?

Speaker 3 He's not an asshole at all. And I think, like, he's a nice guy and doing the best that he could.
And it sucks that this like happened this.

Speaker 1 To cry all day. Yeah.
Ma'am, you got engaged. Like, be happy.
I think there's so many people that don't get the ideal proposal.

Speaker 2 Like, because it's not, but everybody has such a different idea of what an ideal proposal is. Exactly.

Speaker 1 And there's so

Speaker 1 one, I think a lot of us, like, we get in our own heads. We're kind of like overthinking it.
We've made the proposal like more for Instagram and less about you as a couple.

Speaker 2 Totally.

Speaker 1 Like, there's a lot going on there. And I myself can be guilty of that.
Like, I told Justin I wanted a photographer hiding in the bushes because I wanted to commemorate it.

Speaker 2 Like, but am I feeding into that?

Speaker 1 Maybe a little.

Speaker 2 But you still said what you wanted. I said what I wanted.
And you like gave clues granted some of them might have been just very direct right like

Speaker 2 but like you still like i feel like you better have like

Speaker 2 when i turned 30 i was like i want to do this and i want to like you i just think like if she if he had never heard anything about what she wanted she can't really be mad then because

Speaker 2 She never made it a big deal. It was never a big deal for her.
For sure. So why is it now?

Speaker 3 Do you think she might already just be a little unsure about him and like that's at play here?

Speaker 2 Because we're going to get into the comments.

Speaker 1 We're going to see.

Speaker 2 I forgot that there's always like comments.

Speaker 1 But I do want to say, like, I think proposals are one of those things that are really interesting for me because it's like,

Speaker 1 this proposal is about the person that's getting proposed to, right?

Speaker 1 So it should be what they want, but at the same time, it's also what the other person wants and how they want to show the love and the care for that person.

Speaker 1 So I hate to be like, well, the proposal is only about her. She should have gotten what she wanted.
It's about them and their love. And this was thoughtful.

Speaker 1 I wanted to be in Monterey where we first went on a date, where we first bubbled.

Speaker 2 Doing what we did on our first date. Like, that feels thought out to me.
Like, yeah, did he not pick the Airbnb sure?

Speaker 1 I know. People are probably screaming.

Speaker 1 Like, if you've been here since the beginning, there's a story that Justin and I had, and it was like this couple got engaged and it was like in their apartment and set up candles everywhere.

Speaker 1 and that was their proposal and i was like an apartment with candles

Speaker 1 being on the other side of this now i'm like more in like the hopeless romantic boat where it's like do what you want to each their own if a hundred candles in your apartment is what you want do it

Speaker 1 unfortunately this isn't what she wants and i'm scared to get into the comments but here we go yeah i'm really interested to see what the comments say So top comment. Oh boy.

Speaker 1 We can all speculate about the kind of person that would be upset for the the kind of proposal she got.

Speaker 1 Frankly, I agree with many comments that said that the real issue at hand is your lack of planning. The thing is, to be known and to be understood, truly understood, is the highest form of love.

Speaker 1 No, it's not being clairvoyant, but it is to understand and know a person. And understanding and knowing a person surrounding a significant milestone is a pretty big deal.

Speaker 1 Your girlfriend isn't upset about the proposal. She's upset that you didn't know her well enough to know what she wanted, even if she can't articulate that.
That's what she's expressing.

Speaker 1 That you didn't know her well enough to do something that she would actually like, or perhaps that you did know and just chose not to.

Speaker 1 The lack of knowing is leaving her feeling emotionally abandoned, and that is ungrounding and destabilizing.

Speaker 1 When you think you know someone and have a good relationship, only to have a significant milestone like a proposal come up and be slapped in the face with the reality that your partner either doesn't know you well at all or doesn't care enough to show you in the way you would like, that doesn't feel good at all.

Speaker 2 This is like intense. It takes that.

Speaker 2 I'm like, just a reminder, you don't know them.

Speaker 2 Like, what?

Speaker 1 It takes what should be a very happy and monumentous occasion and causes you to reconsider everything, which I guess is what she's doing now. I highly recommend a relationship counselor.

Speaker 1 At the very least, take some time to reflect together about your mutual goals and desire.

Speaker 1 The fact that you care enough to make a post like this suggests that you're a pretty good person who cares about the relationship and your partner. I strongly recommend a couples counselor.

Speaker 2 But this is where I'm struggling is because, yeah, he clearly fucking cares about doing right by her. And he seems like as shocked about this outcome as anybody.
So it's like.

Speaker 2 Was this just something they never talked about?

Speaker 1 I'm so

Speaker 2 curious.

Speaker 3 I kind of like agree with the comment. Like, I think it's dramatic.
I think the comments like words it very dramatically. Like, it doesn't need to be all that.

Speaker 3 But like, it's, if you've ever had, I don't know, like a family member, like, get something for you, but it's something you're allergic to.

Speaker 3 It's like this feeling of like, oh yeah, technically you were doing something that you thought would be nice for me, but you don't know me. And like, you've.
forgotten things that I've told you.

Speaker 3 And I know we're doing like assuming by saying that, but it's like to feel not known in that person's thinking that they're just doing something so great for you is like, or like like I've told you so many times, I hate that that flavor of crackers and you got me that flavor of crackers.

Speaker 3 It's like, you think you're doing a nice thing, but it's actually like more hurtful than doing that thing.

Speaker 2 No, and I totally agree with like the feeling scene is to feel understood. But like,

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 3 I'm tough because we don't know the couple. We don't know what conversations they've had.

Speaker 2 I feel like there's a lot missing. I wish they explained what they, like the amount, to the extent they've talked about a proposal.

Speaker 3 Yeah, because He could have clarified, he could have been like, I had no idea that she wanted a special proposal.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and that's, I guess I'm going under the basis that he seems like a thoughtful enough person to care. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I feel like he would have picked up on things that she would have wanted had they had the conversation.

Speaker 1 I know. Well, this next comment makes some interesting points that like kind of have my wheels turning too.
Your original plan sounds nice in theory, but it seems poorly planned.

Speaker 1 You chose Big Sir on a very busy weekend, knowing your girlfriend gets nervous around around people. You mentioned we wanted to squeeze in the aquarium.

Speaker 1 Why did you encourage plants to go to the aquarium when you knew you wanted to propose at a farther trail and had restaurant plans?

Speaker 1 So like, it does seem like it was kind of like this panic where it's like, I have to do it today. And it's like, you could have maybe reached out to the aquarium and said, I want to propose.

Speaker 1 Is there like a little private area or close to closing? Can we be the last ones left in front of the fish tank?

Speaker 3 I also thought about the nervous in crowds comment and like that being his choice.

Speaker 3 And it's like, you know, she gets nervous in crowds and like that she doesn't feel super comfortable in that environment already.

Speaker 1 Like someone saying, I don't want a public proposal and then them getting proposed to in Times Square. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like there's clearly a disconnect in some way.

Speaker 3 But again, that doesn't make him an asshole.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 3 And that's why I think it's a hard story.

Speaker 1 Well, it's relationship advice.

Speaker 2 So not like just asking. So

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 3 real.

Speaker 2 So what advice would you guys give them?

Speaker 1 I honestly would

Speaker 2 redo it. Yeah, like I think it's totally fine to redo it.
Is it worth the redo and then just be like, that wasn't the real one this is. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 And just like let her feel like, no, I do know you. I do know like what you would really enjoy.
I can give you that perfect proposal. Like, obviously, she wants to marry him.
She said yes.

Speaker 3 Like she had a moment about it, but like got back on board. I think they can just redo it and be cute and it'd be funny.
Yeah.

Speaker 3 Like in hindsight.

Speaker 1 And we can all be our own worst enemies sometimes. Like when it comes to a super emotional event,

Speaker 1 like a proposal, like I cry on all my birthdays.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I cry on like every birthday. It's insane.
I think maybe she's like kind of having this come down too, and where it's like, this is my only proposal.

Speaker 1 Like I, I only get this once and it's like, it's not exactly what I would have wanted. Like, I don't feel really listened to.
So just redo it.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Redo it. There's only one comment from OP.
We have no update. The only comment is in response to this.

Speaker 1 When you say you found a spot to propose at, do you mean you found a gorgeous view overlooking nature and you were standing there reminiscing about your relationship and then you got down on one knee?

Speaker 1 Or do you mean you found a level spot in clearing and suddenly got down on one knee in the middle of that?

Speaker 1 And OP says, top of the hill, looking down at the Monterey Bay, gave a little speech and got on my knee.

Speaker 2 Well, what was the speech?

Speaker 1 Yeah, wait, give us the whole speech and then we can like figure out if it's nice enough.

Speaker 3 I would just love to get an update from this. That's like, we redid it.
We're so happy. We're in love.
It was an emotional day, but we're better for it.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Like, that seems like a really nice proposal.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm like trying to find what Monterey could potentially look like.

Speaker 3 Sure, but they go on hikes all the time. They're always seeing.

Speaker 2 But if that's their thing, like, but clearly it's not for her. Gag.

Speaker 2 But then you're saying they go on hikes all the time. So why is she going on all these damn hikes?

Speaker 3 But it's not like special. It's like, I don't know, what do you do every day?

Speaker 1 You need to update

Speaker 1 a little bit.

Speaker 2 Like the aquarium thing. If you had plans to go to the aquarium,

Speaker 2 the problem.

Speaker 1 Reach out to the aquarium. People love.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Six hours old.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Six hours old is his last comment. Yeah.
It's 11 hours old now.

Speaker 1 At the time I'm reading it. But I think like.

Speaker 1 People love

Speaker 1 being helpful when it comes to helping with love. Yeah.
Like Justin reached out to

Speaker 1 the hotel where we got engaged and was like, Hey, I want to propose. Like, what about this, this, this? And, like, the girl there was so helpful for him and arranging it.

Speaker 1 And, like, I think don't be scared to reach out, shoot your shot, see if you can get a private thing at the aquarium. See if they'll let you meet a penguin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know, but like, send the email, make the calls.

Speaker 2 Like, it's the worst they say is no, you don't get what you don't ask for. I get no's all the time.

Speaker 1 And it's like,

Speaker 2 I always say, except for sex, no is like, there's always a way around.

Speaker 2 I like that. You know, like, I want to make it very clear that like in sex, no means no.
Yeah. But like

Speaker 2 finding solutions in life, no, there's, no, is the wrong answer. Yeah.

Speaker 3 I also think we can just, if even if they haven't said it, assume people want their proposal to be special.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like

Speaker 3 even more, like do as special as you can even think of.

Speaker 1 If you're thinking about proposing to someone, get flowers, like any flowers, I feel like are the bare minimum, unless she hates flowers.

Speaker 2 And have them in.

Speaker 3 If it was the same thing and flowers had been spread in the area that he did it, and like there had been something there, I think that would have been enough.

Speaker 1 And if you're going to propose outside in nature, please make sure they are real flower petals, not some fake-ass silk shit, because that's not biodegradable.

Speaker 3 Yeah,

Speaker 1 do something. Like, put a little thought, effort into it.
But, like, if you are going to propose to someone and you have no idea what they would like, you better start being a detective.

Speaker 1 You better send them a freaking quiz from BuzzFeed about the best proposal, proposal character I want. I don't care what it is, but you better start researching.

Speaker 2 You don't even need to go to BuzzFeed. Spare yourself going to BuzzFeed.
In fact, just be like, yo, my dog is trying to propose to his girl right now.

Speaker 2 And like,

Speaker 2 he's asking me, and I'm like, that goes based off of the person. Like, for you, I know that you'd,

Speaker 2 and then just like let them take over. How do you love

Speaker 2 me?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 3 That would be so awesome.

Speaker 2 I want to hike in Monterey. I want to be on a hike in Monterey.
Yeah, apparently, that's the one I'm getting. Like, actually, you would love to be on a hike in Monterey.

Speaker 2 I got supposed to be on a hike. I'd be pissed because I don't fucking hike.

Speaker 2 If they hike all the time and she continues to go on them, I would assume that that might feel special if it's their like thing.

Speaker 1 Chris is passionate.

Speaker 2 I'm not probably some like fireworks and a blimp.

Speaker 1 I'm pissed. I didn't get fireworks.

Speaker 2 I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm pissed. I don't own a blimp.

Speaker 1 I keep joking with people. I'm like, send me up in a hot air balloon, but one of these days, someone is going to say, bet and put me in a balloon.
And

Speaker 2 I'm going to have to admit I don't want it.

Speaker 1 I'll put you in a balloon. I don't want to be in a balloon.

Speaker 2 Oh, why did you say it though?

Speaker 1 Because it's a dramatic, it's like a habit,

Speaker 1 Oh my God. It's a hyperbole.

Speaker 2 Is it?

Speaker 3 What's it a hyperbole for? Wanted to get out of here?

Speaker 2 I'm like, what's when does it, when, when did this go?

Speaker 1 What's the big word for exaggeration?

Speaker 3 You're like, um, hyperbole.

Speaker 2 Yeah. No, no, no, yeah.
I guess, but like, hyperbole is more so like, it's just trying to be like, I'm so hungry I could eat a lion, not I want to go up on a hot air balloon, JK. Well,

Speaker 2 right?

Speaker 1 It fits the calls I'm on.

Speaker 2 It's for more. More for marketing.

Speaker 3 You're like, okay, so when you're on a marketing call, you're like, put me in a balloon.

Speaker 1 I'm down to do anything. Put me in a hot air balloon.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 We were missing a context.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you can't just say, I want to go on a hot air balloon, and then someone would offer it and I'd say no and then be like, that's hyperbole. I'd be like, no, I think that's you changing your mind.

Speaker 2 Okay, I understand the put me in a balloon. It's an exaggeration.
Yeah. Got it.
No, then that is, I think, that is hyperbole. So

Speaker 2 we did it, guys. Thank you.
I don't know what we just did, but

Speaker 2 something. We did it.

Speaker 1 Okay, moving along.

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Speaker 1 You got another one down there?

Speaker 3 I'm going to bring one out. This is like a shorter one.
Okay, guys. So this one is also coming from R/Relationship Advice.
It is one day away from being a year old. Oh, and the title is.

Speaker 1 Wait, so it says 364? Yeah, the age is 64 days.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. I've never seen that.
I know. I've never seen that.
It's about to be a 365 party girl.

Speaker 3 Okay, my husband, 29 male, is upset that I, 28 female, bought a bigger fake ring for our upcoming vacation. What should I do? do?

Speaker 2 Ooh,

Speaker 2 I love this topic. Like, this is so ring.
Ring size is a unique debate. Oh my god, take the fake ring and return it to him and say, I'm good with this marriage and run with the real ones.

Speaker 3 We're about to go out of the country for a vacation. My real engagement ring is insured.
However, I don't wear it to swim per our jeweler's recommendation.

Speaker 3 My husband and I are in agreement about me not wearing my real ring while we're at the pool at the resort.

Speaker 3 Since we would both like me to still wear a ring, I decided to order order a last-minute cheap one off Amazon. Admittedly, I could just wear my silicone band that I normally wear to work out.

Speaker 3 However, I thought this would be a fun opportunity to order a bigger ring in a different shape. My husband is absolutely livid that I ordered this ring.

Speaker 3 He thinks I'm trying to pretend I'm someone I'm not by wearing a bigger ring.

Speaker 2 Oh no.

Speaker 3 I'm someone who likes jewelry and flashy things, but I'm by no means trying to prance around passing off the ring as real. I have no qualms saying, oh, it's just a fake travel ring.

Speaker 3 Plus, I would be wearing my real ring the rest of the time, to dinner, etc. Again, I just don't see the big deal.

Speaker 3 I'm taken aback by his strong reaction, and he snapped at me and is now refusing to talk to me.

Speaker 3 I feel like my only option is to return the ring and buy one identical, same size and shape as my real ring. Am I overlooking how he feels? Should I just buy a fake identical ring?

Speaker 2 Ooh,

Speaker 1 he's clearly feeling a little slighted, a little, well, damn, my ring I got are

Speaker 2 good enough. But why are you thinking that about your spouse or your soon-to-be spouse?

Speaker 2 Like, if that were, if you're engaged to get married, would you not be like, if they didn't like the ring, they would have told me?

Speaker 1 Are they, wait, are they engaged or married? And now this is engaged, I thought.

Speaker 3 Um, they're married. Oh, my husband, yeah.

Speaker 1 Does it say how long they've been married?

Speaker 3 I feel like it seems like they've been more recently married. Okay, that's just the vibe I'm getting.

Speaker 2 Maybe this is even a honeymoon. Married, that's even worse to be like,

Speaker 2 Yeah, it doesn't say how long they are. Why would you think the worst of your partner? Thinking like they're so unhappy, so they bought a fake one off Amazon.
They were unhappy, babe.

Speaker 2 They'd tell you that they didn't like the fucking ring.

Speaker 1 I know. This is another one I'm torn on.

Speaker 2 You guys go to really divisive ones.

Speaker 2 I know. We're having like

Speaker 2 really intense conversations.

Speaker 2 Tell her husband to suck it the fuck up.

Speaker 1 I do see, I do see it being silly, right? Where it's like, it's a fake ring. I just wanted to have a little fun.
Like, it doesn't take away the meaning from my ring you got me.

Speaker 2 It's like plain dress-up. It's a travel ring.

Speaker 1 It's, you know, it's whatever. But I could see

Speaker 1 if this was like something like that he worked so hard to get her. Like he spent so much on this ring and it was everything she wanted.

Speaker 1 And then she just goes ahead and buys this fake ring that's even bigger and more extravagant. Then it would almost maybe feel like what I did wasn't good enough.

Speaker 2 Not if you're fucking secure.

Speaker 1 When people

Speaker 1 are not,

Speaker 2 So, but why is that her problem? Like, if he has insecurities, go to a therapist like a normal fucking adult.

Speaker 3 When people get a fake ring, do they usually get like an identical one? Because I guess my thought process is how hard would it be to always have an identical ring to your real ring?

Speaker 3 Like, people probably

Speaker 3 all the time have like a slightly different ring. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Two of my best friends got married. And I'm going to ask them because she got a fake ring.

Speaker 1 I got a travel ring. So mine, I went a little smaller than my real one because my real one, like one, I had a friend scare the shit out of me.
My friend Richa, I like went out.

Speaker 1 We did like a girls' brunch somewhere around LA, like shortly after I got engaged. And she was like, oh my God, your ring is gorgeous.
But like, you cannot wear this traveling.

Speaker 1 You cannot wear this, like going out certain places. And I was like, why? And she was like, my friend literally just got jumped.
for her ring. And so she really scared me.

Speaker 1 And so like, I ended up ordering a travel ring. And it was like a little smaller, different shape, like different.

Speaker 1 Justin didn't care. I don't think he would care if I got a bigger one either.
But like, I did something different and not so flashy because I don't want to draw attention.

Speaker 1 If I'm wearing a fake ring traveling, I don't want to draw attention to myself. I want to feel safe.
I don't want to get mugged or... jumped.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So someone takes my ring because they're not going to know if it's real or fake walking past me on a sidewalk.

Speaker 1 They're going to punch and then ask questions later.

Speaker 3 Yeah. The one thing she says where I can see like that side is her being like, I thought this would be a fun opportunity to order a bigger ring in a different shape.

Speaker 3 Like that does kind of make it seem like she might like this other ring more or like maybe her attitude about it of like being so excited. I could see why that could kind of bother him.

Speaker 3 But at the end of the day, I'm just like, I don't know. I just don't think it is that deep.
But again, I'm not like someone who

Speaker 1 I can see both sides where I'm like, it's not that deep. It's dress up.
It's her having fun.

Speaker 3 They both wanted her to get a fake ring.

Speaker 2 But like, okay, let's say she got a Birkin. He gave her a real Birkin, a black

Speaker 2 Birkin, silver hardware.

Speaker 2 Just a classic. Okay.
And she's like, I'm going on a trip. I don't want to ruin this one.
So I'm going to get a fake Birkin. And she gets the Himalayan crocodile.

Speaker 2 But it's fake.

Speaker 1 But it's, yeah.

Speaker 2 That's not her saying,

Speaker 2 I don't like the bag you gave me. That's saying I have the opportunity to get a fake one.
yeah why not do something have fun with it yeah

Speaker 2 why not be like it's is it not just fucking dress up well i think if she wanted the fucking ring she's ordering she would have asked for it yeah yeah

Speaker 2 no i do think that that's exactly what her mindset was it's just like she's just like hee hee wow how fun it'll be to have a fat rock on my hand

Speaker 2 not i need a fat rock but like wow how fun i bought a fucking fake engagement ring off tick tock because i'm like how fun to have an engagement ring just like but it's just like it's like buying a wig it's like i don't hate my hair i just sometimes want to play around no and i'm fully on board with like i texted my friends who did they respond

Speaker 2 uh she said she got pretty much the exact same one okay oh um but then i asked if you got a bigger ring would you be mad or feel slighted to my friend who

Speaker 2 bought the ring yeah okay to him this is good research um i was like i'm filming they're putting their baby down to bed um

Speaker 2 so one second on the second question.

Speaker 1 Okay, I will say, like, I'm fully in the boat, too, of like

Speaker 1 having multiple engagement rings. Like, I joke where I'm like, I want to be like Victoria Beckham, I want 15 different engagement rings.

Speaker 1 She has 15, yeah, good for her, yeah, and some of like one of her rings is worth like a million, which I'm not in that caliber, but like, listen, I might posh spice for a reason.

Speaker 2 I know,

Speaker 1 but like, I think you can do like one,

Speaker 1 if your main ring was like five grand, that's insane. My main ring did not cost that.

Speaker 1 I went Moise Night, I was very reasonable, and I think you can like upgrade over the years, or you can do like, hey, a push present, here's another ring.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like I am fully on the board of you can have multiple and have it not take away meaning from the original.

Speaker 3 I'm trying to put myself in that headspace of like a ring being so, so special and like representing so much.

Speaker 3 And then it's like, would it mean something if I got like a, like a bigger one as a fake version? I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 3 My reaction is no.

Speaker 1 Have you seen the TikTok trend where like this person stops girls on the beach and is like, how much does he need to spend on your engagement ring? And some girls are like three months salary.

Speaker 1 And so it's like, okay, if

Speaker 1 I would be pissed. I'm putting myself in this shoe.
If I spent,

Speaker 1 I don't know, 15, 20 grand on a ring for Justin, three months' salary. And then he he was like, Meh, I'm going to, I don't really, I'm going to try something new.

Speaker 2 I'd be like, but she wasn't saying, I want to try something new. She's like, we're going on vacation and I don't want to bring my real one.
Like,

Speaker 2 essentially, like, I'm playing dress up. I know.
She's not like, fuck the ring. I, I don't want to be seen in public wearing that.

Speaker 2 That is true. You know, like, if she was saying that, I'd be like, that's horrific.

Speaker 1 And this is where you need to have a conversation and ask him, where do your feelings really lie, babe?

Speaker 3 I also think his reaction of like snapping at her and now refusing to talk to her, not talking to her, is crazy too much, regardless about security

Speaker 2 that is crazy my guy friend just got back to me he said yeah he goes i bought the fake two lol so did not apply but i don't think i would feel slighted or get mad because i know she doesn't really care obviously she doesn't want a piece of sand for a diamond haha but she's not into having it be a boulder to show off and i know

Speaker 2 You can't read the rest? No, just because it's like a friend dynamic. But

Speaker 2 yeah, yeah i just that's good insights i just don't think comfortable very secure that's what i'm saying is like if you're married this shouldn't bother you

Speaker 2 because if it did bother any party they would hopefully say something exactly and you should be able to have a conversation and be like hey it hurts my feelings it feels like my ring isn't good enough like not even that you should be able to have you like the ring i got you yeah why oh okay i just thought you buying a bigger one meant you maybe didn't communicate done communicate like oh my god Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 I forget there's always follow-ups. Do we, do we have?

Speaker 3 Well, like, I was going to read the top comment first. Um, the top comment says, does he just think you're not impressed with your ring and is trying to mask his hurt feelings by acting angry? Yeah.

Speaker 3 I don't really understand why you need to wear a fake ring at all, but it makes sense you don't want to lose your ring. So they kind of just answered why she needs to do it in that question.

Speaker 3 But yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 I was like, um, what?

Speaker 1 Which, like,

Speaker 1 I mean, also kind of like, why,

Speaker 1 I don't know. Like, that is a good question of, like, why do we feel the need for fake rings? Why can you just not wear it? For me, I like having a ring on.

Speaker 1 I like literally in the elevator at one of the places we went to in London. Someone was like, Are you trying to have a good time tonight? Are you single?

Speaker 1 And I literally just held out my hand and it was like, Okay, Dawn. Thanks.
Leave me alone. It is such a nice, like, totally leave me alone.

Speaker 1 Like, people wear fake engagement rings all the time to not be very

Speaker 3 easy to understand why someone would want to wear a fake engagement ring.

Speaker 1 What's that big word?

Speaker 2 Heckled?

Speaker 1 Harassed?

Speaker 1 That's one. Heckled.
Heckled.

Speaker 2 Heckled.

Speaker 3 That as well. Oh,

Speaker 3 so we don't have any responses from the OP.

Speaker 2 Are you kidding me?

Speaker 3 But a jeweler weighed in.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 3 The jeweler said, I am a jeweler. That's how I knew.
That tipped me off.

Speaker 3 I've seen so many arguments over stone size. LOL.
OP, this is ego. His feelings are hurt, and he's not able to interpret that on his own, so it comes out as anger.

Speaker 3 Also, he's displaying anger instead of realizing that you didn't buy a bigger ring to hurt his feelings or point out some defect in the ring he bought. It's not a jab at his income or taste.

Speaker 3 It's just a silly piece of play jewelry, and that's allowed. You're allowed to have a for fun ring to wear.

Speaker 3 I have a couple too, specifically for travel, but sometimes I just wear them because it's fun and sparkly. Who cares?

Speaker 3 Have a sit down with your husband, give him a safe space to air out his feelings, no judgment.

Speaker 3 He's allowed to have his feelings and he can figure out why he's having such a negative reaction to something that doesn't mean anything to you.

Speaker 3 But just because it's not sentimental to you and your real ring is, doesn't mean he knows or views it the same way.

Speaker 3 If you made a big deal in his eyes about how nice your fake is, he might be hurt that you might have regrets about the genuine one.

Speaker 3 He needs reassurance that you're invested, but you're fully capable of being present while also enjoying sparkly temporary things.

Speaker 3 That you know the ring that's between the two of you is special and exactly what you wanted. I have long believed that the real value in jewelry is in the sentiment of the humans who own it.

Speaker 3 If the fake goes missing, oh well. But if the genuine ring went missing, broke, or stolen, you'd be heartbroken.

Speaker 3 We give jewelry to people who are special to us to mark occasions, to express love or congratulations. There's so much behind that.
A travel ring could never.

Speaker 2 But that's like what I'm saying is like her body. I'm like, I am fashioned.
I'm literally, I'm just like, this husband blows. Yes.
Like, she's having fun. She's just fun.

Speaker 2 She's to dress up for Halloween for a character that is a big ring. Is she only allowed to wear her engagement ring? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, that's essentially what she's doing is playing fucking dress up for her. That's a really good point.

Speaker 1 No, it's a really good point.

Speaker 2 Like, just go to therapy.

Speaker 1 And that is like at the base of this, they need to just communicate. Like this is coming from a relationship advice.

Speaker 2 He needs to communicate. Yeah.
Like, hey,

Speaker 1 he does.

Speaker 1 And I think there's a lot of times in life where, like, I know myself, like, when I am just like overwhelmed, I can get kind of snappy and shut down and like not react in the way.

Speaker 1 I would ideally want to with a rational mind.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 3 God, you're so flawed. You're pointing out so many flaws today.

Speaker 1 I told you, I told you, I'm no saint. I'm not a saint.
She gets sappy, but like, I think, honestly, and this is a generalization, but a lot of men are not in touch with their emotions.

Speaker 1 A lot of men are not

Speaker 2 shot. It's okay

Speaker 1 to be in touch and like be hurt. So, for him, it's like, I can't be hurt.
I'm going to be angry and I'm going to ignore her. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Isn't that crazy? I had no idea.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 I thought men were more in touch with their emotions than women.

Speaker 1 Technically, I just learned this recently. Men and women are equally as emotionally intelligent, just in different categories, which

Speaker 3 shit and some people don't think they have to.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm like,

Speaker 2 I don't think that's accurate.

Speaker 1 I will say, I don't know if this is on a Patreon episode, but Lauren and I get into it.

Speaker 2 It might be on a regular, I don't, you guys, I black out all the time on which goes where. She's wasted.
She's so wasted right now. But I'm like, we can take her anywhere.

Speaker 1 I think, you know, this is a good lesson to be like, what is the core feeling? Like, we need to give men the feeling wheel. And it's like, you're acting angry, but like, where's the feeling?

Speaker 2 What's the feeling behind that?

Speaker 1 Where is this actually coming from? And I know that we have to do that, though.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm saying. It's like, no, that's for fourth grade and the nurses office.
How am I feeling today? Move the magnet. Like, I know.
That's all right.

Speaker 2 No, men can fucking grow a pair, nut up, and take charge of your fucking life. It's not weird or gay to talk about your feelings or to wash your ass.

Speaker 2 Grow up, step up to the plate, and shut up.

Speaker 1 That was a recent discovery.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. What? The men don't wipe their ass?

Speaker 1 Well, no, I've known that since starting this podcast.

Speaker 1 But like, apparently wiping your butt doesn't, it means you're not an alpha male.

Speaker 2 No, it's crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like this is a whole thing in the alpha male world. Like you cannot wipe your butt.

Speaker 2 The alpha male world. I mean, just say you're a fucking loser and move on.

Speaker 3 Wait, like what they, they must get, like, diseases or something.

Speaker 2 You would wish. I know.
Or like some kind of rash. And yet they're still here.

Speaker 1 I don't know. There's no update on this one.

Speaker 3 No, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 I can't believe it. Fucking

Speaker 2 dude.

Speaker 3 And I didn't even tell you beforehand.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 I'm like sitting here like, what happened?

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 1 need something with an update. I need something with an update.

Speaker 3 Maybe on the 365th day, they'll give an update.

Speaker 1 You're so real. One year later.

Speaker 2 She's like, we're divorced, and I can finally talk about it.

Speaker 1 Dude, I need an update.

Speaker 3 I mean, I feel like that might be a lot of the time why people don't give updates if, like, things have gotten really emotional.

Speaker 2 But I don't know.

Speaker 3 This doesn't seem relationship ending.

Speaker 2 He just needs to, like,

Speaker 2 I don't know. If I were her, I'd get the fuck out.

Speaker 3 Oh, if he handles like every disagreement like this.

Speaker 2 This is how he's handling fucking cubic zirconium. We are cooked, dude.
I mean, what's he going to do when when she finds out she took plan b or something i mean god he might

Speaker 2 i don't know yeah i'm so tired of hearing about men well

Speaker 2 i mean you're like well here we go let me see what i have

Speaker 2 let me see what happens

Speaker 1 okay let me see what i got

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Speaker 1 Okay, I think I'm going to give you guys a choice on this last one.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, we got a choice.

Speaker 1 A choice or a coin flip. You can put it to either.

Speaker 1 Option number one: Am I the asshole for canceling the entire vacation when I found out that my stepdaughters deliberately hid my daughter's passport to get her to stay home?

Speaker 2 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Option two.

Speaker 3 I'm going to have an answer.

Speaker 1 Am I overreacting? Husband says me taking a bath on vacation is unreasonable.

Speaker 2 I can't deal with any more shitty husbands. I really can't.

Speaker 1 Or option three.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for leaving my friends stranded during a road trip after they repeatedly disrespected my boundaries?

Speaker 2 Honestly, the last two feel exhausting. I love the idea of the first one.

Speaker 1 The past part?

Speaker 3 That sounds really good. It sounds very special and unique.

Speaker 2 Okay, thank God. I mean, but do you agree?

Speaker 3 No, I do. I do think they all sound great.
Oh.

Speaker 2 I do think.

Speaker 2 If you have a strong feeling about two or three and you want to hear those, I really defer to you.

Speaker 3 No, I like the passport idea. Like, I need some girl drama.

Speaker 2 I like it.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for canceling the entire vacation when I found out that my stepdaughters deliberately hid my daughter's passport to get her to stay home?

Speaker 2 Just like no already.

Speaker 1 I've been married to my wife, Beth, for five years. I have a bio-daughter named Jessica.
She's 18. And I also have two stepdaughters named Monica and Leah.
They're both 25 and 28.

Speaker 1 Both are single moms and live with with us currently.

Speaker 3 I've read Cinderella before.

Speaker 1 There's been issues about my stepdaughters asking my daughter to babysit the kids.

Speaker 1 Jessica didn't have a problem with it at first since this is what she does to earn money, but since her stepsisters don't pay her much, she would just refuse to babysit.

Speaker 1 We worked this out by having my wife take care of paying for the babysitting. I planned a family vacation for three days and everyone wanted to go.

Speaker 1 However, both Monica and Leah suggested that Jessica stay home and watch the kids since Beth doesn't want her grandkids to come.

Speaker 2 She can't go to the ball.

Speaker 3 Sorry, just saying.

Speaker 1 They said it's because the kids are used to Jessica and hiring another babysitter would cause issues. And also said that Jessica isn't too fond of our destination.

Speaker 1 But it was obvious that Jessica wanted to go. They insisted and Beth offered to pay her double.
And there was just a lot of back and forth on this until I demanded they stop bringing it up.

Speaker 1 We were supposed to go last week, but when everybody had bagged their bags and was time to go, Jessica found out that she didn't have her passport on her.

Speaker 1 We searched her bag, then went home and searched there. Beth and my stepdaughters kept insisting that we go back to the airport or else we would miss our flight.

Speaker 1 They insisted that Jessica just stay home with the kids. They even told the new babysitter to go home because she was no longer needed.

Speaker 1 I refused to go and kept searching for the passport until Monica admitted that she helped Leah hide Jessica's passport to get her to stay home with the kids. I was livid.

Speaker 1 I tried to get her to tell me where it was, but she said that Leah had it. Leah denied, so I threatened to cancel the vacation, and that's when they gave it back.

Speaker 1 I decided to actually cancel the vacation and blew up at both of them and berated them.

Speaker 1 They stayed upstairs for a while, and Beth refused to speak to me and said that I punished my stepdaughters for worrying about their kids and wanting them to stay with someone they know.

Speaker 1 I got told I overreacted and ruined the trip for everybody.

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 3 That's like cartoonishly evil.

Speaker 2 This is biblical. This is biblical greed and biblical evil.

Speaker 1 Two, also, this line here, I find this so comical.

Speaker 1 I punished my stepdaughters for worrying about their kids and wanting them to stay with someone they know.

Speaker 3 Bitch, they know you.

Speaker 2 Why aren't they? They know their mother.

Speaker 1 Why aren't their moms?

Speaker 2 Like, literally.

Speaker 1 Their moms don't need to go on a vacation if they can't bring the kids. Bring the kids or find child care they're comfortable with.

Speaker 2 It's giving Casey Anthony.

Speaker 1 And that's on that. I talk about it on my podcast this week.

Speaker 2 Clues.

Speaker 1 Clues, baby. We did an episode on her.

Speaker 3 People may be taking in the clues this week.

Speaker 1 It's an insane case.

Speaker 2 Like, I was sorry. What mom is like, yeah, I'm good leaving my kids at home.

Speaker 1 That is totally.

Speaker 2 I mean, like, I guess that's fine. I'm not like judging anybody who does, but like, if your concern is them being around someone familiar, that's what I mean.
Then why aren't you the one staying home?

Speaker 2 That's what I mean. It's like, obviously, moms can leave their kids.
No, we're on the same page, baby. Yeah.
We're on the same page.

Speaker 2 After the last couple of stories, I'm like, I have to be clear with my opinion.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what is happening?

Speaker 3 I feel also it's like a little symbolic that it's a family vacation and they're trying to push her out of it.

Speaker 3 Like, it's more weighted for them to try to remove her from this type of trip because they clearly don't want her on the family trip.

Speaker 2 Also, it's just crazy because aren't they grown? Yeah. How long are they? Aren't they 25 and 28? Yeah.
Like, okay, wait. What's the daughter's name? The biological name? Jessica.

Speaker 2 Okay, if Jessica's minding her business, and then both stepsisters are also minding Jessica's business,

Speaker 2 who's minding the stepsister's business.

Speaker 1 That's what I want to know. It's clear.

Speaker 2 Those are moms. Oh my God, they have kids.
They have kids. And they're acting like kids.

Speaker 1 Mean girls. Mean girls.
To steal someone's passport

Speaker 1 and manipulate the situation so she can't come on a trip just so she can watch your kids.

Speaker 2 So she can do you a solid crazy,

Speaker 2 diabolical

Speaker 1 Cinderella. And if grandma doesn't want her grandkids on a trip, that's fine.
But Beth doesn't need to be the scapegoat that gets left at home. For them to tell the new babysitter, you can leave.

Speaker 3 Yeah. You can leave.

Speaker 3 They will leave. They're like, she's not finding it.

Speaker 2 We hid it really well.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's in my pocket, actually.

Speaker 1 They were like creating this situation of chaos to the point where Jessica would be like, okay, well, if the babysitter's leaving and we can't find it, I guess I'll stay home anyways.

Speaker 1 This is an 18-year-old, and you are going to have her watch two young kids by herself for days on end. That's irresponsible.

Speaker 1 I think you're being, I think we should call CPS. I think you're being bad.

Speaker 2 Wow, yeah, I think we should call CPS.

Speaker 1 I don't like it.

Speaker 2 How old was this?

Speaker 2 Two years ago. Damn right.

Speaker 3 Oh, did we have an update?

Speaker 1 Top comment: not the asshole, to be honest. I would have kicked your wife and lazy, no good stepchildren out right then and there and ended the marriage.
If they were 12, I might understand

Speaker 1 the level of entitlement and immaturity, but in their late 20s, and what the fuck with your wife? She should have roasted them for pulling that bullshit.

Speaker 2 100%. Because she clearly doesn't care about your daughter.

Speaker 1 Next comment down: there is no way the wife wasn't in on this, too. She absolutely knew the plan.
OP needs to ditch all three of them.

Speaker 2 Wait, that's such a gag because, like, so true.

Speaker 1 She knew it, it was probably her idea.

Speaker 2 Not Morgan stirring the bottle.

Speaker 2 Morgan stirring the bottle. I'm smoking it.
They planned it.

Speaker 3 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 The evil runs deep. Where do they learn that shit from?

Speaker 2 This is one.

Speaker 1 It blows my mind that some people are willing to put up with partners that hate their kids.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, that would be just like a non-negotiable for me.

Speaker 1 I see this all the time on Father Knows. Like my dad's show, the amount of write-ins we get, like from you guys, the listeners, real people that are like, my dad picked my stepmom over us.

Speaker 1 He won't come to my graduation. He won't be at my wedding.
Like, it's like, oh, that's so good. For what?

Speaker 1 That's this is your kid. This is half of you.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go to the account, see if we have an update.

Speaker 3 I don't even know my kids yet. If someone did that shit to them, I'd skin them alive, probably.

Speaker 1 This

Speaker 2 deputy

Speaker 1 is unfortunate.

Speaker 2 There's no.

Speaker 1 I did it to us now. It was me.
There's no update. There's no update.

Speaker 2 What the fuck?

Speaker 3 Then it should just be called edging the episode.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. Literally, like, I'm leaving here with the bluest of fucking balls, dude.
It literally is. But the blue man group looks gray.

Speaker 2 This is bad.

Speaker 1 We have two comments from OP.

Speaker 2 I don't know why they caught astray, but the blue man group.

Speaker 1 Poor guys just out there beating on their drums.

Speaker 1 Two comments from OP. One, someone says you should kick them out.

Speaker 2 Like, get them out of your house if they're going to act like this towards your daughter.

Speaker 1 I'm afraid this is not an option since my wife co-owns the house.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, get a new one.

Speaker 3 So they've got like many families in that house.

Speaker 2 Right? Like, because both of the daughters also have families. Yeah.
No,

Speaker 2 like,

Speaker 2 there's a lot. Wait, are both of them single?

Speaker 3 Are they both single moms?

Speaker 2 I wonder.

Speaker 3 I didn't like put that together until now.

Speaker 2 No, because they're fucking rotted.

Speaker 1 They were evil. They were evil.
I'll give them that.

Speaker 2 Like, they're rotted.

Speaker 3 Why can't the other parents watch them for three days?

Speaker 1 That's a great question.

Speaker 1 Curious about that. So, the other comment we have from OP is in response to this.
Not the asshole. You don't just have a stepdaughter problem, though.
You have a wife problem.

Speaker 3 Morgan said that.

Speaker 1 I would rethink your current family situation and how your daughter is being treated.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 OP goes, you're right. After seeing where my wife stands in this, I'm beginning to consider some things.

Speaker 2 What a like.

Speaker 3 What a cliffhanger to leave us on. I'm beginning to consider some things and then never returns again to leave another comment.

Speaker 2 Just to say what those things are that are being considered. Edging.
That's not very considerate. Wow.

Speaker 1 Is edging, like, can you use that in non-sexual ways?

Speaker 2 Like, is that okay?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You just fucking edged us. She edged us.

Speaker 3 We all edged each other.

Speaker 2 I haven't done anything except sit here and look gorgeous.

Speaker 1 Well, guess what? Next time, I'll look ugly. You get to bring a story.

Speaker 2 Really?

Speaker 2 I was like, like totally fine not having homework. I really just feel like it's like the end of class and the teacher just assigned homework and you're like, fuck, I thought she was going to forget.

Speaker 1 I thought we were good.

Speaker 1 Edging trip.

Speaker 1 I don't know what title that is.

Speaker 3 Trip to the edge of the center.

Speaker 2 Trip to the edge.

Speaker 1 Trip to the edge.

Speaker 2 It kind of is. On the edge.

Speaker 3 Because like, it's like a double entendre. Because, like, I'm on.

Speaker 2 What the fuck is that? You've never heard of a double entendre?

Speaker 1 I was trying to explain hyperbole. Do you think I've heard of that?

Speaker 3 So true. But you were right at the in the end of it all.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 2 He just explained it horribly.

Speaker 1 We were just a little lost, but then you found us. Two shots, one bird, double entendre.

Speaker 2 Two shots, one bird. I can't remember.
That's an instant classic. That's like an instant classic.
No, that's like

Speaker 2 a job.

Speaker 1 What's a double entendre before we go? It's like what's the point?

Speaker 3 Oh, it has two meanings. So it's like on the edge, but then also edging, you know, like I I like that.

Speaker 1 Okay. Trip to the edge.

Speaker 2 Like Nicki Minaj uses so many double entendres. There's one song.

Speaker 1 Rah, rah, like a dungeon dragon.

Speaker 3 I don't know if that.

Speaker 2 No, but like, I love that energy.

Speaker 3 I love that you came at it with such confident.

Speaker 2 She's like, she can say like, all my shows sell ticks like Boston.

Speaker 2 Cell ticks, Boston. Sell ticks like Boston.

Speaker 2 Wow. So like that's a double entendre.
Maybe that's not a double entendre, but that's what I see as a double entendre.

Speaker 1 We all learned something.

Speaker 2 I don't know if we've learned fucking anything except communicate to your partner. My God,

Speaker 2 crazy that that's just the common theme. Always.

Speaker 1 Thank you guys so, so, so much for being here with me. Where can everyone find you guys?

Speaker 2 Just Google me, Michaela Oakland.

Speaker 2 You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at Chris Clemmons.

Speaker 2 I have my new podcast, Chris vs. the People, wherever you

Speaker 2 get podcasts. We have video episodes up on youtube.com/slash at Chris vs.
the people.

Speaker 2 And I have a YouTube channel as well. But I guess I'll take your answer.
You can just Google me, Chris. I thought you started it.

Speaker 2 I didn't. I think I was.
I thought you go first.

Speaker 3 There was another episode, everybody. Like,

Speaker 2 there wasn't, was there? I don't recall.

Speaker 2 The fifth. That's so crazy.

Speaker 2 Sabotage.

Speaker 1 That's all I got. If you want to see a little more of Chris for free, we did an insane, insane story on Patreon.
It's free. It's one of the most crazy Reddit stories.
It's in the Reddit Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 It is the Jolly Rancher story.

Speaker 2 No, it is free, but the therapy that you will need afterwards will not be.

Speaker 1 Don't send me the bill. Other than that, until next time, guys.

Speaker 2 Bye.

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Rated T for Team.