217: Luckily NOT a Deathbed Confession.. Ft. Kaelyn Moore

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I'm so excited.

Me too.

We're rolling.

We're finally doing it.

This is insane.

I know, because we've talked about doing this for a while.

I think we've like tried to get it sorted for like two months now.

Yeah, so actually not that long.

Two months is like.

kind of nothing.

In our world, it's

gone in a blink.

Time's moving too fast these days.

Seriously.

Oh, I'm so excited for this episode.

Welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes, you guys.

I'm your host, Morgan.

And today I'm joined by Kaylin Moore.

Hello, everyone.

So happy to be here.

I'm really excited for today.

Kaylin and I started another show.

You may have heard of it by now.

It's called Clues.

And on Clues, we get into true crime cases.

And you know what my favorite feedback so far has been?

Oh, what?

I was terrified of true crime.

I didn't think I could listen to it.

I was, you know, worried another true crime podcast.

It's whatever.

Yeah.

And everyone has been like, it is so good.

It's so palatable.

You're telling the stories in such a respectful, cohesive way.

I'm learning new info that I hadn't.

Yeah, I'm really glad that that's coming through because we work so hard on the episodes.

We do so much research for the episodes.

Oh my gosh.

And we're just like the way that we build the episodes out too, and want to to convey the information in a respectful way, but like also all the information to build out the whole case.

Like I'm just, I'm really glad that's coming through.

And the reviews have been like great.

Like, I know.

I'm so happy with how it's going.

I know everyone on the first episode too was like commenting where they were coming from.

And we have such a good mix of listeners and we're still working on a name.

for the people that join us over on Clues.

Yeah, what were our favorites that we saw so far?

I liked Cluminati.

Cluminati, that one I hadn't seen and I really did like it.

I think like the clueless kept popping up quite a bit.

Yes.

But I don't know if I'm sold on any.

There was one that was like cluby-dooby-doo.

People are really creative.

I couldn't have come up with any of those.

And I think you guys, I think the cluby-doo or whatever came from our story we had a couple weeks ago, the hooby-doobie, the bowling guy.

Oh, I don't think I heard that one.

He started saying like hooby-doobie during sex and his wife was like, please don't do that.

What?

And he he like slept on the couch that night.

He was so embarrassed about it.

Oh my gosh.

It turns out it's his bowling catchphrase.

Oh.

So it makes him feel confident.

It makes him feel confident.

Yeah.

It helps him.

Apparently, I don't know.

So I'm like, did you guys come up with that from that?

But regardless, go over and listen to clues.

By the time this episode comes out, we should have four, if not five episodes live.

And it's a really good show.

And we cover a variety of stuff too.

I mean, we're doing like D.B.

Cooper.

We have some mysteries like that.

Also, more serious true crime.

I think there's going to be kind of something for everyone.

Absolutely.

And we are always open to case recommendations.

So send them our way.

I know we're really trying to cover some less known ones coming up and really highlight people of color as well.

So send any wrecks our way.

Yeah.

But today, but today.

You on your show,

which I always butcher the name.

Heart starts pounding.

Yes.

You got it.

Let's go, baby.

Yep.

You have like a segment or you do a recurring thing where you do deathbed confessions.

Yeah, that's one of the, we've done a couple episodes that are all based on people's deathbed confessions.

What's the craziest one you've gotten?

I was actually thinking about this earlier.

So it's such a variety.

Like one that I was rereading was this woman on her deathbed and like her last breath said that she didn't care about owls.

And her family for like 50 years had been buying her owl figurines because they thought they'd come over and see that she had all this owl stuff.

And they're like, Oh, she must love owls.

I'll get her little owl napkins.

I'll get her a little owl, whatever.

And then on her deathbed, she's like, Yeah, I never cared about the owls.

Like, that was just something you guys assumed and just kept buying.

But I never wanted to just, I didn't want to be rude.

I didn't want to say anything.

Oh, wait a go out.

I know.

So that one, the family was like, oh my gosh.

But on the most recent episode, we just covered one that came out of Illinois.

This woman, she's dying.

She calls her daughter over and she goes, Do you remember 50 years ago when a little girl disappeared from our community?

I think it was my son that took her, your brother.

And the night that it happened, the police came to our house and I lied on his behalf because I didn't know where he was.

Oh my God, full-blown chills.

No.

And it was the oldest cold case in Illinois to be reopened.

And like the story is wild, too, because they go after this guy.

They have all this evidence.

Like, there's a lot of twists and turns in that one.

So that's in the most recent deathbed confessions episode.

People should definitely listen to it.

It's a twist.

After we're done, I'm like, I know what I'm going to be cleaning my house to later.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that one.

The whole time I was doing the research, I was like, like goosebumps.

I want spoilers, but I don't, I don't want to ruin it for other people.

It will be linked in the description of this episode.

I'll link that one.

Easy to find.

Yes.

Holy crap.

Okay.

Well, today's theme kind of plays off that.

It's kind of a mix of like, that could have been a deathbed confession.

Like, it was so bad.

Oh.

But thank God it wasn't.

I was thinking about this because I was like, how do I set this up today?

And I asked myself and I was like, if I knew something really bad, would I want to find out when that person's dying towards the end?

Would I want to be ignorance is bliss mindset with them?

Or would I want to know as soon as possible?

Right.

And I think there's a case for both.

Like some things you want to know as soon as possible because there's a lot of people that it affects.

And other things you're like, I'm so glad I didn't know that about you while you were alive because it would have changed everything.

Everything about you.

Yeah.

I know.

So I'm like, which would you prefer

and this is all kind of like thank god it came out but oh it could have been one so i'm so curious it's gonna be it's gonna be a good one so let's dive in

Okay,

our first one.

This is coming from AITAH, five hours old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Finding Out I've Been Unknowingly Paying Rent to My Husband and His Mom for Two Years?

I, 31 female, have been married to Brian, 33 male, for two years.

Right after the wedding, we moved into an apartment he said was a great deal from a family friend.

We agreed to split rent and utilities 50-50 to keep things equal since we were starting fresh and wanted to avoid money fights.

So I've been sending him $700 a month just for rent this whole time.

Three days ago at a barbecue, I overheard his mom talking about how, quote, it's nice getting rent from Brian's place and how smart they were to keep it in the family.

Turns out his mom owns the apartment and Brian's on the deed too.

I had no idea.

He never told me.

He just let me keep paying rent for two years like a clueless roommate.

When I confronted him, he said I never asked and that I'm overreacting because we weren't overpaying, but I feel completely blindsided.

It's not just the money, it's the secrecy.

I told him I won't keep paying until we talk about a fair setup.

Now he's acting like I'm the problem.

Am I the asshole?

No.

I mean, she says it in like what she's writing.

I assume it's a woman, but like it's not about the money, it's about the secrecy.

I feel like there's a couple of red flags.

The first one being the fact that you're just not being transparent about it.

You're married.

You're married.

Also, like, I'm married.

I wouldn't mind, like, if we were living in a place that was owned by my mother-in-law, like, I wouldn't mind if that's where the money was going.

I wouldn't expect to have a free place to live ever.

So I don't think that that's not like a deal breaker.

He didn't really have to even lie about that.

No.

Which is strange that he still chose to.

And I think that...

is like the big red flag is like you are lying about things you don't need to lie about and I think that just like that transcends into a lot of other areas of relationships for sure and it's so weird when he was confronted, it's turned on her so quickly.

You never asked.

Yeah.

Well, like, I didn't feel like I had to.

You told me a family friend.

You didn't say my mom owns an apartment, but he's also on the deeds.

So you own the apartment.

So you're just collecting my money from me every month.

Yeah.

Like, where does it go?

Because if it goes straight in his pocket and he's literally lying about this, I would be so irate.

If it's going to his mom, paying for the overall upkeep of the building, whatever.

Okay, it's $700 a month.

That's pretty fair rent.

But then, but why do you have to lie about that?

Why lie?

$700 is incredible for rent.

Pretty much anywhere in the country right now.

So, like, I would not be mad about having to pay $700.

So, you could tell me that money's going anywhere as long as you're like being honest about it.

And I'm not really going to be upset.

But

it's a lying.

And for me, it's the your husband having a little secret with his mother that he's not telling you about.

Oh, I don't like that.

That I don't like.

No, I feel like on other stories you've read on this show, too, it's like my husband was lying, or my boyfriend was lying to me, or my wife, whoever was lying to me because like they were colluding with one of their parents.

Oh, yeah.

And I just, I feel like that is always such a bad,

it's bad news whenever that's happening.

It is.

And I did the math too.

I pulled up my little calculator, guys.

Don't worry.

Didn't do it in my head.

$16,800 over the course of two years.

Like, that's not.

That's a lot of money.

But yeah, that's substantial.

To not know where that went.

And

I know they're just like holding on to the money.

You don't know what they're doing with the money.

I don't know.

No, it's just a weird dynamic.

Really weird.

Top comment on this one.

It's not even that you didn't ask.

He said it was a family friend.

It wasn't.

It was him.

Yeah, I think I missed that when you first read it, that he said out loud it was a family family friend.

Like, that is a lie.

Uh-huh.

Like, why do you have to say that?

Well, and it's like, you never asked, but she kind of did.

She's like, where are we living?

Oh, family friends place.

Like, she did kind of ask.

Yes.

Oh, you didn't ask me if that was a lie.

Like, what?

I figured the person I'm marrying is going to be honest and truthful with me.

Yeah.

I didn't know I need to be suspicious of my partner.

Right.

Or like ask for an explanation on every little thing that you're doing.

Because you can't do that when you're with someone.

No.

here's another really,

oh, this makes me so mad.

And I didn't really consider it.

The next comment after that goes, and I bet she's the only one paying rent.

Yes.

Oh, that too.

I bet he's not paying anything for it because he's mommy's little boy.

No chance.

And there's, yeah, she's not asking him for money.

And OP responds, yeah, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.

He's never shown me his half of the rent going anywhere.

Starting to think I was the only one paying anything.

Oh my gosh.

I, yes, I would believe that she was the only one paying.

I'd burn that place down.

I know.

Well, oh my God.

That is a relationship ending type of conflict to have.

It really is because it just speaks to such a bigger issue within.

the dynamic and the relationship and his dynamic with his mom and how it's not really you and your partnership that's prioritized.

He is prioritizing his mom and whatever that weird deal is

or you're subsidizing his living living and he's not being a fair partner at all.

Like, it's super strange.

Yeah.

Super strange.

I totally agree.

There is a comment here.

Big yellow box, lots of upvotes.

Facts.

OP, the bigger issue at hand is that your husband and your partner not only lied to you, but they also committed financial infidelity.

Oh, yeah, that's a, yeah, people talk about that now, financial infidelity.

That's like, that's, I'm sure I've read it on here before, but like having it in this context, it's like, ooh, yeah.

Which by definition is when a partner in a relationship or marriage lies about, hides, or fails to disclose information regarding money.

Yeah.

So fits the box.

My question would be now, what else have you lied about?

Followed by, I do not know if I can ever trust you again.

Those are the hard questions you need to ask.

Once trust is broken, it's hard to ever get it back.

Especially with money stuff.

Like, isn't that, they say that's the thing that couples get divorced over the most is finances.

I believe it.

And so if you're already with someone who's not honest about money, I mean, does he have a ton of debt that he's not honest about?

I feel like there's so many other areas of finances that people can just lie.

And he's clearly like very comfortable lying about it.

So I would be skeptical of his financial situation, I guess.

I would too.

And just like,

it's, it's just so unfair.

It's like the injustice of it all that really pisses me off with this one.

Yeah.

No update from OP.

I hope we get one.

I know.

I want an update on that because I want to know if she did confront him, how she had that conversation, because that's probably really important for people to know.

It's like, how do you talk to a partner who has, like, I don't know if it's considered financial abuse or financial cheating, whatever.

Like, how do you talk to someone?

Cause that's like this nuanced thing that I think is coming up more and more in relationships.

Financial abuse is really being highlighted right now.

Yeah.

Especially in my world of Reddit.

And this could

couples.

Yeah.

Like, there's a story I have saved for another episode right now where this woman writes in and she's like, My husband says I can only go on my friend's hen do if I pay for it myself and arrange childcare.

And it's like,

it's your husband, he's the father of those kids, he should help.

And then she gives more context that she's like, I'm a stay-at-home mom.

I have no financial income.

Oh, and so it's like, so you're essentially saying she can't go.

He's just, yeah, like it's control.

Yeah, it's a control thing at that point.

Yeah.

But we'll get into that one.

Oh, wow.

There's only one other comment from OP,

and she goes, thanks.

But do you really think it's this serious?

Like divorce level serious?

So I don't know if it's like the severity and like how serious this is is like clicking with her yet.

Yeah, I feel it sounds like she doesn't understand that it's or maybe she's not seeing the bigger picture of like, oh, this could be, this could mean bigger, worse things for a relationship.

Or this is something that he like is maybe indicative of like down the line when we have kids or a house or like some other big financial thing as a a couple, he he also is maybe gonna lie about that or like not be honest or financially cheat, whatever.

But like, yeah, maybe she doesn't see how serious it is, but like that's bad.

Well, and the question is, how long would you have let this go on?

Because I don't think he was gonna come clean.

Oh, yeah, like how long would he have let it go on?

Yeah.

And if you ever, if you found out that your husband ended up owning your apartment or your house that you're living in and on his deathbed goes, Kaelin, I've been taking all your rent money.

What would you do?

Like, okay, well, then I'm done paying for your medical care.

I'm plugged.

Yeah.

Well, this is getting expensive.

So let's speed this up.

Yeah.

Damn.

Like, how long would he have continued lying?

I think that.

So people who say, well, you didn't ask, I think it's like an internal thing of like, well, if they don't ask, I'm not lying.

So I'm not doing anything bad.

So I can continue doing this.

And like, that's not true, but that's how they reason it in their head.

So, I think he really was like, Well, I'll just go until she asks.

But obviously, he already lied about it.

So, even when she asks, he's going to lie about it.

But, yeah, so just forever, as long as she doesn't know, forever.

I know.

Yeah.

Oh, that's bad.

That one.

It's bad.

Makes my heart race.

I know, because he didn't, he didn't even tell you, girl.

You overheard.

And you overheard.

Oh, my gosh.

From the mom.

From the mom, like, she's brave.

The mom is laughing all the way to the bank.

Like, this is, I have such a sweet setup because my

oh my gosh.

Yeah, horrible.

Insane.

Hopefully we get an update.

I'm gonna keep my eyes peeled on that one.

I want one.

Even if you text me when you get it.

Just post it.

Yeah.

I literally read a story last night.

This is probably the worst one I've read in years.

This

mom sent her son a link to her OnlyFans with nudes.

Yeah.

I recorded it last night for today's episode.

I was up till 3 a.m.

Not a good, not, I'm a little crazy today.

Yeah.

But I recorded it last night at like 10 p.m.

Went home, edited it, woke up this morning, and someone literally goes, She just posted another update 10 hours ago.

I just missed it.

Wow.

So these updates, they come in real time.

So, yes, you have to be checking all the time.

You got to be checking.

Maybe she'll see this story on TikTok and she'll be like,

What did they say?

This is my update.

What did they say?

Yeah.

Yeah.

This next one, I also am going to need an update for.

Okay.

It's coming from AITAH, four days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Having Good Answers for My Newly Discovered Adult Kids?

In October of last year, I learned I had fathered two kids when I was a teenager.

DNA confirmed this in December of last year.

I had no idea I had other kids, other than the kids I'm raising with my wife out there.

Their mother I met when I was 15 and she was 16, and again when I was 17 and she was 18.

She was visiting my friend's family for a month both those summers, and we hooked up.

I used condoms every time, but I clearly fucked it up somewhere.

She didn't tell me anything about having a kid when she came back that following summer.

Neither did my friend.

My friend only found out she had kids a few years ago.

When my adult kids found me, they had come after a long search.

They DNA tested a few other guys, and it took years for their mom to tell them about me.

When they reached out to me, they told me they had a lot of questions, and I didn't have good answers for them.

Not before or after the DNA test.

All I could ever tell them was I had no idea they ever existed.

They didn't believe me.

They told me there was no way I knocked their mom up twice and didn't know either time.

I explained everything to them, how she was someone I only met that first summer and how I didn't speak to her in between both summers.

I told them I heard nothing from her after she left that second time.

They pushed me to know more.

They They had questions about why I didn't save for them, write to them, fight for them.

They refused to accept that I didn't know.

And they're mad at me for a lack of good answers.

They told me I needed to do better for them.

Am I the asshole?

That is so complicated.

I feel like, no, these situations are so nuanced.

I mean, we've dealt with a couple of these in my family.

I think a lot of people have, especially with like the DNA companies coming out.

Like

we've learned a lot about my family, but it's very nuanced.

Like I guess coming from,

this is so funny.

I literally was on ancestry.com the other day, like researching this part of my family that I just discovered.

Oh my gosh.

And having the questions of like,

when is it appropriate to say something?

You never know when you reach out to someone if you are going to shatter.

their entire world

of like everything they thought they knew about their family.

Not everyone knows as much as you do.

And so the dad reached out to the kids, right, in this?

I think the kids found him.

Okay.

Because mom finally came clean.

Yeah.

Which,

like, I don't know, maybe she didn't even know, but like, it's, it's just so tough.

And it's so appropriate for people to be mad in this situation.

I don't think the dad is an asshole.

I also don't think the kids are assholes.

Like.

I don't know if they have this like long history of loving someone who they thought was their father.

and now they have this like i understand that the dad is upset and that's why he's taking to the internet to be like am i the bad person here but it's just it's so complicated and people's feelings regarding this are so complicated i know and it's hard and it's clear that like these kids which we never get an age for, but like the title says adult kids.

So I'm assuming at least over 18.

Yeah.

But it's clear they have a lot of hurt in whatever they went through too.

Yeah.

And their mom, it took years for their mom to even come clean and tell them that, oh, this other guy kind of exists.

So it's like they're just kind of grappling with those big feelings and the pain and whatever, because that would be hard where it's like, who's our dad?

Like, just tell us.

There's things that you don't even realize when it comes to these kind of these situations of like medical history where you're like, okay, well, this other person, maybe,

you know, when I, like this thing I discovered about myself, it's genetic and that actually came from my father.

And now I'm learning who my dad is.

And like, there's just, there's so much you don't even realize that goes into it.

So there's, I just, I really, I feel so much for everyone in this situation.

It's really, really tough.

I'm glad this came out, though.

Like, that's kind of step one.

And like, hopefully this can lead to something better for all of them in the future.

I actually have a listener and I've met her in person.

She's so sweet.

But she wrote into our subreddit a couple of years ago now and was like, I found out I have over 50 siblings because of a DNA thing.

Oh, because her dad like probably donated a lot of stuff

to a bank.

Ugh, yeah.

There's a lot of horror stories like that.

Stuff like that happens.

And it's like, you can't change the past.

Like you now know and you can go forward and have relationships.

Like these kids, like they're hurt.

Yeah.

Like they said, why didn't you fight for us?

But the dad's willing to embrace them.

That's what it sounds like.

The parents are not always open to taking in the new children.

Did I tell you about the episodes that I just did on Heart Starts Pounding about Georgia Tan?

No, no.

So in the 1940s, there was this woman in Tennessee, like 20s to the 40s.

It was a 20-year span that she did this.

She was a social worker who

would steal kids, right?

She would steal kids.

She had go in when the mom, like us, it was always like poor single moms.

Like mom just gave birth, is on a ton of meds.

This woman would come in and be like, hi, I'm a social worker.

I'm running a new program where if you like sign this paperwork, I'll take care of your baby for a little while.

You get back on your feet and then I'll bring your baby back to you.

And the mom would sign the paperwork totally out of it and she would vanish with the children, gone.

And a lot of the kids started finding each other when they were doing the DNA tests

because they were like, just getting all these matches back.

Like you have these siblings.

And all of them, it was too late to meet the parents, basically.

And so it's one of those situations because we're talking about deathbed confessions where it's almost better.

It's so, there's so much pain, but I do believe it's better to come out as early as it can so you can sort it out.

And if you are able to have a relationship, that's so beautiful because a lot of times it's just way too late.

And someone's dead when you figure it out, or someone is close to death, and they don't want to change their entire life and everything they've ever known to like take in this new child.

And

yeah, it's so, I know it's like painful and sad for this family, but I am glad for this dad that that's how it happened.

I agree.

Top comment on this one.

These are questions they need to be asking their mom.

Well, yes, also that.

OP actually responds and says they won't talk to her about it because she lied to them repeatedly.

I'm honestly surprised she came clean and it wasn't a deathbed confession for her.

Yeah, I wonder what it was that changed in her.

If she had some sort of like wake-up call or I don't know.

Yeah, some people just wake up one day and they're like, you know what?

I'm going to tell the truth.

It's also so crazy that she like came back already having a kid.

Maybe she wanted just two kids with the same person.

I'm just like, this whole situation, like, yeah, I mean, we could touch on that.

It's not my place to judge, I guess, but like that also is just blows my mind too that she had a kid and came back and then had another kid.

Hiding a whole kid.

I mean, yeah, I wonder what year it was, though.

They're adult kids.

Like,

yeah, you used to.

I mean, even now you can like hide kids and stuff.

So that's very true.

Yeah.

Also true.

Not a lot of other, you know, comments from OP adding context.

DNA test is legit.

He saw it himself.

He knows they're, you know, telling the truth.

She didn't bring the kid with her during those summers, you know, when she, the summer when she came back.

He wouldn't know.

She was from a different state.

And they literally did not talk after that summer when he was 17.

There's not anything he can do.

And hopefully they go forward and we get an update that I want to, I want a positive update.

I'm really hoping for that.

I think this will be good.

Yeah.

There was no mention of like, my wife is upset that I have these other kids.

Yeah.

There's no mention about anything other than him being worried about hurting their feelings and not having better answers for them, which it gives me a lot of hope.

I agree.

They all sound grounded and normal.

So hopefully they figure even whatever, the mom, but like, save, save for a moment.

A little bit of an outlier there.

But yeah, hopefully they can figure that one out.

I think I have hope.

I'm so curious curious if you're listeners.

I'm sure there's going to be comments about this, but this affects so many people.

Like so many people just learn stuff about their families and

like who their parents really were or whatever.

Like they have siblings they didn't know about.

So I am so curious if people are like have this kind of situation going on in their family.

I think that would be a good thing if you guys are willing to share too.

Like if you have something you learned about someone, you can be very vague in the comments, but like I had someone tell me a deathbed confession and it was this.

I would love to hear some of the crazy ones you guys have gotten or things you learned after your parents or uncle, grandma, grandpa like passed.

Like, I had, oh, I had one story long time ago.

This person was writing in a Reddit where their dad had died, and their mom was still alive and very sad.

And the mom got super drunk one night and told

the writer that, oh, just so you know, your dad was also my brother.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Wow.

I know.

I know.

So see, that's what you could have taken to the grave.

If I was a kid, I'd be like, I didn't need to know that.

I know.

But she got a little drunk, and I don't know.

Wow.

They ran away together.

They were from Germany, ran away to the U.S.

together

so they could be together.

You know, isn't it New Jersey where you can marry your siblings and your parents?

Oh, no.

You might want to fact-check me on that, but I did read a long-form article about a daughter that married her dad in New Jersey.

And it was, if I could unread anything, I think it would be that.

Oh, my God.

I'm like so scared.

In the states of New Jersey and Rhode Island, incest between adults is legal.

Yeah.

Ew.

Yeah.

Okay.

Why'd you do that to us?

I know.

I'm so sorry.

If I have to bear witness to that, then someone else must too.

If I had to know, you all have to know.

And that's how I feel about this this next one.

Ooh.

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story number three here for us coming from our slash relationship advice five days old it is titled i 22 female believe my boyfriend 28 male might be tampering with my toothbrush

This is probably the weirdest and most disgusting thing I've ever typed, but I think I'm slowly realizing that my boyfriend has been doing something really fucked up.

We've been together for for about a year and a half.

He's always been a little passive-aggressive when he's upset.

He won't talk things through.

He just gets quiet or moody, gives me the silent treatment, things like that, or even accuses me of trying to continue arguments when I'm trying to hash things out until the conversation ends.

He loves to reset and act like an issue or disagreement never happened.

Anyways, a few months ago, I started noticing my toothbrush was being moved.

It's electronic and it would be off the charger on its side or the whole thing was scooted forwards or backwards.

I thought it was just getting knocked around because our counterpart is small.

Eventually, I started noticing that it would be wet in the middle of the day or other times when I hadn't recently brushed my teeth.

One time I noticed something on it, like it had been used to clean grout.

That's when I started keeping a small spare toothbrush hidden in my makeup bag, which never was moved or messed with.

Here's the part that really makes me feel sick.

I finally confronted him after struggling to come to the reality that someone might be this disgusting and said something straightforward along the lines of, quote, are you doing something to my toothbrush when you're mad at me?

And he just laughed and said, you're crazy, and then refused to talk about it further.

I don't even know how to process that.

Like, what?

I haven't seen him do it, so I don't have proof, but I know something's up.

I feel crazy, but my gut is screaming at me that this is real and he is getting back at me by putting my toothbrush in the toilet or something else that's gross.

I haven't told anyone because it's honestly humiliating and gross.

But I feel trapped between thinking I'm paranoid and realizing I might be with someone who would literally put my toothbrush in the toilet to get back at me.

What do I even do?

I don't even, I don't know.

like

i i don't think your instinct is wrong if your toothbrush is being moved around something's happening like something is moving your toothbrush yeah you don't have a ghost you don't have a ghost this is not an episode of hearts i'm founding you don't have a ghost i know ghost but if you think you're with someone who needs to get back at you

you have like you have to get out that that is so scary when people feel the need to get back at people really like it's no because if you're in a relationship with someone you don't have to to get back at them how scary is that too like okay you're starting with putting my toothbrush in the toilet or cleaning the toilet with my toothbrush to like to notice that there's grout looking stuff on your toothbrush which i'm like that was not grout that was probably poop scum yeah

that's disgusting so if they're willing to do that

Something that like you put in your mouth and like it's almost like eat my shit.

Like that's literally like you're gonna get sick.

You're gonna get really sick from that too.

Yeah, but it's like, okay, where does that then go?

Like, oh, you start putting Visine in my water or like

water.

I think it's like that.

I think it escalates.

It escalates from like poop on the toothbrush, which that is already a 10.

So

like to escalate beyond that is just like really, really gross stuff.

And I think you're right.

The like.

bleach in the water, just really dangerous, disgusting stuff.

Yeah, there's, I just saw this on TikTok and it's like the most sad, sad thing.

There was a girl that went viral recently for like a funny video and she was finishing up nursing school, just about to graduate.

And her roommate just killed her over like an argument about cats.

Killed her?

Yeah.

About cats.

An argument over their cats.

Like, he's already doing something really bad, dangerous, crazy to you.

Yeah.

That's the thing, too, that's really scary.

Is like, I understand if you're in the heat of an argument and someone's like getting mad in the moment, but to then leave a situation, remain mad, go through all the steps of doing this horrible thing behind someone's back and never once stop yourself.

That to me feels like a really dangerous person.

Well, and it's happening often enough that she's really noticing it.

Yeah, he's getting something out of it.

What do you feel about a camera?

Like for me, that was my first thought.

I would have to put up a camera.

If I were in that situation, I could see myself being like, I am not the kind of girl that has to put a camera in her bathroom to make sure someone's not sticking my toothbrush in the toilet.

Like, I, but I don't know, maybe I don't know.

And that's so the thing is for me, like, this is over.

Yeah.

But to have peace of mind, to have proof in case you need it down the line, like in case he goes goofy when you break up with him and you need a restraining order, it would be nice to have that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So this is a time, you guys, where I'm okay with a camera.

But it's a camera in the bathroom.

So also, if you're giving that to the police, then are they going to be like, well, why are you filming inside of your bathroom?

You know, that you also can get dicey.

You might have to tastefully edit things.

Yeah.

But at least get the.

But at what point, I just feel like people's intuition is really strong.

I feel like.

Oh, she is right.

No, and I think she's right.

So I almost feel like she doesn't have to do that.

She doesn't sound like she has any history of like paranoid delusions, right?

She's not like, oh, this.

And then also the government's after me.

It's like, I just feel like this person's doing this to me.

I feel like she doesn't even need proof.

I feel like if your gut is strong enough to feel, you're going to live the rest of your life being like, did I put this here?

Did he move it?

Like, should I get into bed?

Did he put something in my sheets?

Like, you know, like, you just have to leave at that point.

No, your peace of mind is forever gone.

Yeah.

The deathbed confession I was telling you about where this woman was like, I think my son may have done it.

She didn't have definitive proof in that moment, but the fact that a mother would assume her own son was capable of that was enough for people to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we got to investigate this more.

Yeah.

So like, and to me, I think that speaks volumes.

Like, if you love someone so much and, and even you could visualize that person doing that to another person, to you, like, that's a really bad sign.

Yeah, that's a really good point.

Everyone thinks so highly of their own kids.

Like, you had another episode I listened to.

It was like the one where you were going through like mailbag and you talked about the Australian,

I don't know if it was a prison, but like one of Australia's worst shootings happened there.

Yeah.

And you were talking about it and how like this guy's own mother was like, no, he couldn't do that.

No, no, no.

And it's like the delusion.

Port Arthur massacre.

Yeah.

It's like the worst modern-day tragedy in Australia.

It's horrible.

And unfortunately, yeah, the mom just is like, no, my son said he wasn't there.

So it couldn't have been him.

People are crazy because they just, yeah, they really believe the best in people.

Like they see past so much stuff.

So if someone even beyond that is able to say, like, I think this person is capable of this, like, that's usually a really bad sign.

Oh, my gosh.

Top comment on this one.

Just break up.

The fact that he's moody and gives you the silent treatment is enough of a reason.

It's immature and exhausting behavior.

But if you have this gut feeling about your toothbrush, just trust and leave.

You're on point.

Look at you.

Well, that's funny too that they were like, no, actually, this other stuff that's not even as bad as the toothbrush is like more than enough reason to break up.

Yeah, like you don't have to install cameras.

Like you have so much reason.

I'm just like, I love being a village detective.

I'm like so against cameras too, but I'm like, like sneaky like cameras recording your partner.

I'm like, I'm so against that.

But I'm like, you need to know.

No, but I think you bring up a good point where also like, I mean, this girl is being called crazy.

So you start to doubt yourself.

And you're like, oh my God, I think I need actual proof.

Yeah.

And so you get to the point where you put cameras in, but you don't need that much proof.

No.

The comment does go on to say, you don't need proof.

You don't need a good enough reason.

Also, his response is bogus.

If my husband asked me if I tampered with his toothbrush, I'd reassure him, not call him crazy.

Then I'd give him a new toothbrush from my stash if he doubted his.

His response of calling you crazy is just unkind and doesn't explain your legit concern.

Does he gaslight you in other ways?

There's so many men out there that you won't have to worry about with this.

Just dump him.

Yeah.

OP does respond.

I think I already knew what I was going to need, but needed reassurance to get the courage, and I've been too embarrassed to talk about it in real life.

He's asleep next to me right now, and I haven't been able to sleep all night thinking about this dumb shit, so I made this throwaway.

I don't know if he gaslights me, but he definitely believes there is a give and a take to everything.

And if I upset him, then in turn, he has full rights to retaliate towards me, whether he mentions the issue to me or not.

He's demeaning and discourages me from attending classes.

I don't know what I was holding on to our relationship for.

Feelings, I guess.

I could tell he thought me realizing was genuinely funny.

I wonder if she wants to have children or like ever pictured children being in the future of their relationship.

Because what are you going to do when a toddler who is like pure chaos, does not operate on any sort of like ethical scale, does something that doesn't need to be retaliated against?

Like, are you going to, do you need to retaliate against children because they do something that upsets you?

Like, there are people out there, and that's the energy he's giving.

That's this guy.

Like, that's such a cool thing.

Like, your dog poops in the house.

What are you gonna do?

Like, oh, God, no, no.

Someone who feels the need to retaliate is, yeah, the biggest red flag to me.

Well,

we get an update on this one.

Oh, good.

Oh, I'm so scared.

I haven't read it.

I'm like, oh, please have a happy ending.

Please say you installed a camera.

Yeah.

Okay.

Update.

When I wrote that post, I felt sick, confused, and honestly ashamed.

I didn't think anyone would even read it, let alone respond.

But I did get a response, a lot of them.

And something about that, being seen in a situation I've been quietly drowning in, shifted something in me.

I didn't give him another chance because I still couldn't believe what was happening.

I gave him one because a part of me still wanted him to redeem himself.

I wanted him to see how scared I was, how small he'd made me feel, and do something decent for once.

After that first night I posted here, I thought maybe if I brought it up again, calmly, and gave him a real opening to be honest, he might finally do the right thing.

Instead, he doubled down.

This time he implied it might be his daughter, an eight-year-old.

He shrugged and said, kids do weird stuff like that.

Maybe she's been playing a trick on you.

And when I tried to bring up how unsafe and confused I've felt for months, how he used to leave my food out on purpose when he was mad, how he pushed me to drop both work and school, how isolated and anxious I've become, he brushed it all off.

Said they were just normal relationship disagreements that could have been worked through if I communicated better.

It was so dismissive, it actually stunned me.

I realized in that moment, nothing I said would ever matter to him and never had.

So I dropped it.

I smiled, I pretended to believe him.

I told him it was probably all just in my head.

I didn't expect anyone to respond when I reached out.

I've been so cut off from everything.

But one of them did pretty much immediately, like she was waiting to hear from me again.

She told me I could crash on her couch for a few weeks while I find a job back in my home state, probably bartending or waitressing again.

I don't care.

I just needed out.

So it sounds like she reached out to someone she used to know.

Thank God.

She waited for me at a restaurant nearby.

All I had to do was text her the second he left to drop his daughter off with her mom.

The moment that door closed behind him, I grabbed everything I could carry, just a couple of bags, and left all the big stuff behind without even looking back.

It took six hours to get back home, but I'm here now.

I'm safe.

My body already feels different.

Full-blown chills at that.

Of course, I've already gotten texts, his daughter's mom, her family, asking where I've gone and begging me to come back, or saying the kid will miss me, that I was so good with her, and they need help.

And yeah, I will miss her too.

I really will.

She didn't ask for any of this.

I'm not doing this for anyone else anymore.

I'm doing this for me, for the version of me who used to have friends, who used to go out and had a whole future planned.

Thanks to everyone who commented and who reminded me that being scared in your own home isn't normal.

Y'all helped me find the nerve to leave.

Oh,

I'm so happy for her.

I am so bummed he has an eight-year-old daughter.

I know.

Poor little thing.

That just made the story so much worse.

Because if he's doing this to her, he's doing that to that little girl, too.

Yeah.

Like, you don't behave.

Daddy's not talking to you.

Retaliating against us.

Child, no.

Ugh.

No, but I am glad she got out.

So, so happy.

She does have one last line here.

This will be my only update on Reddit, probably.

But if anything else exciting happens, maybe I'll come back to this throwaway account and let y'all know, lol.

Okay.

Yay.

Good job.

oh

wow that's hard it must have been hard leaving also the kid oh my gosh and so much stuff like i i i knew i needed to get out i left with only a couple bags because there was so much more context in this update post yeah that we didn't even know about like this was actually it was not just the toothbrush it was leaving food out when you're mad at me yeah separating me from family friends not letting me go to school or work like it was

such a bad thing.

And also, saying, like, you needed to, like, communicate better with me, like, just putting the whole onus on her.

It's Darvo.

It's literally like deflect, like, accuse, whatever the acronym is.

Yeah.

It's literally that.

Ugh.

It's so, so crazy.

That is, yeah, that's really rough.

Top comment on the update.

Proud of you.

Glad you got away safely.

Don't respond to any of them and focus on healing.

Definitely don't respond.

Don't.

That's good advice.

Block them all.

Yeah.

I feel so happy, but I'm like, I'm really sad for the kid.

But that, okay, another,

like picturing that story all the way through.

Can you imagine

Justin being on his deathbed?

And then the thing he says to you is, I've been sticking your toothbrush in the toilet for 40 years.

I would, I would be scared of what I would do.

Yeah.

I would be.

That's another one where it's definitely good that it comes out a lot earlier.

I know.

Yeah.

I know.

And like, trust your gut, you guys.

Like, this is one where it's like, it really was like her instinct and she knew.

And that line where she was like, my body instantly feels better.

Yeah.

Right.

What was it here?

My body already feels different.

You probably can just like relax your muscles a little bit more.

Completely.

Like your nervous system, when you are being in like a toxic situation, whether it's a work environment, friends, family, relationship, like your body can make itself sick from stress, from being on edge.

Like you can literally be sick.

We were, I was just talking about this with my husband because I had acid reflux for like a whole year.

Oh my God.

And he was like, I just don't know what's wrong with your stomach.

I'm like, I don't either.

I'm like, blissing out.

And every doctor I went to, they're like, are you stressed?

I'm like, no, it's not that.

It's something else.

And then finally, I like,

I mean, we moved to Texas.

I was like a little bit away from everything.

I just kind of like decompressed a little bit.

And I very actively worked on like like relaxing and meditating and stuff.

Okay.

Acid reflux went away.

I'm not saying if you have acid reflux that you should just relax and it'll go away.

Like, obviously, it's, but like that.

Yeah.

I think I was making myself sick with how, like, just stressed out I was.

And I think a lot of it I was doing to myself too, just like making myself more stressed, which I love to do.

But

why do we do that to ourselves?

I don't know.

Like, for no reason, I tend to think of the worst case scenario all the time with everything.

Like, but what if this goes badly?

And then

that just, yes, it makes you ill over time.

Yeah.

Our bodies are so wild.

So wild.

Yeah, but our bodies know.

They definitely do.

Definitely do.

Okay, this next one, y'all, buckle up.

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So this one is also coming from relationship advice, 12 hours old.

It is titled, How Do I, 36 Female, Move Forward After My Best Friend, 37 Female, Told Me She Is Destined to Kill Me?

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm buckled up.

Trigger warning mental health issues.

Yes.

It's on the top of the post here.

I'm going to provide a detailed background, probably even too much, but I'm not holding back because at this point, I feel like every detail matters, and context is exceptionally important.

I met A when she transferred to my school in ninth grade.

We were instantly best friends.

We spent a lot of time together, and I felt like I had finally found a true friend.

She devastated me with the news less than a year later that she had bone marrow cancer.

I was distraught.

I thought I was losing my one and only friend just after finding her.

I wanted to do anything and everything to make her better.

My dad was also also saddened by the news as she spent a good deal of time at our house.

She didn't have bone marrow cancer.

She was physically healthy, told me it was a false diagnosis.

This was only the first issue that came up in our relationship.

She has since lied about breast cancer, cervical cancer.

These are lies I have confirmed with her family members.

She has admitted to stretching the truth.

She can't keep her story straight.

She, at 32, claimed that her father did things to her as a child, but a year later said it was her karate instructor and that her dad would never have done something like that.

When she was 33, she was out of state, and I had to call the local law enforcement because she said she had a firearm and was going to use it.

That's really just the tip of the iceberg here.

There's so much more, but I'm choosing not to get into this.

All of this to say, I don't know what to believe from this woman's mouth.

A few months ago, A and I went out on a weekend outing at a locale a few hours away.

For the most part, it was a lot of fun.

We stayed in a fancy, haunted hotel, did a lot of walking, and talked a ton.

It was like we were 14 again.

We ate well, I drank well, she's sober, and then as the night was winding down, she looked me dead in the eye and said,

I'm going to kill you.

I was caught off guard and laughed it off at first, but she doubled down.

You killed me in a past life, so I'm destined to kill you.

Apparently, a blonde woman with my eyes was speeding in a red car and ran over A as she was crossing the street.

I just pretended it didn't get to me because, again, I don't know what to believe and if she was being serious.

And we went back to our accommodations.

She proceeded to have a panic attack.

I helped her through it and she fell asleep.

I've been trying to figure out what to do since.

Obviously, I know she needs help.

I've begged her to get help before, but she refuses to take medication.

She doesn't drink, but does use cannabis.

She has described extremely vivid hallucinations.

Her ex has custody of their kids, likely for good reason.

I've come to the conclusion that I want and need to let her go.

I need to know how to do so safely.

She lives an hour away, but knows where I live.

I don't know how seriously I should take her death threat.

Please help.

I would say take it seriously, even if it's not ever going to come to fruition.

Like,

just the fact that she said that is indicative of like some sort of serious thing happening to her, you know?

Ooh, I feel like you don't gotta run.

Yeah, you should also maybe shouldn't ask Reddit.

Well, that's tough.

Yeah, I actually could see a lot of people being in a situation like this where maybe they had a friend who went through some like really scary mental health things.

Yeah.

That like at a certain point,

because I've dealt with this before in high school, where I had a friend's mental health get to a place where I could no longer be of any assistance.

Like, you can't even really be like a listening ear because it's just so out of control and you're scared that anything you say is going to be the thing that tips them off.

Yep.

And I feel like she's smart to know that, like, that is the point in which you separate.

Yeah.

I think it's very clear.

Like, you have spent, what are they, 36, 37 now, met in ninth grade, which you're like 12, 13.

You've spent 23, 24 years being this person's friend, trying to help them

and putting up with a lot of

things already, like being lied to about bone marrow cancer, breast cancer, cervical cancer, different stories about family members and abuse.

Like that isn't okay.

And you've still remained her friend and just given her such grace because

whatever reason.

So I think you do a slow fade and keep your head on a swivel.

I would be curious if she's tried to separate in the past, like during maybe one of the

cancer

proclamations or, you know, and like what that was like.

Like maybe that is a reason why she's afraid.

Because if you're asking, how do I do it safely?

There's, I imagine there's part of her that's like.

My friend is capable of having some sort of meltdown or like emergency if I try to leave.

So I want to make sure that that doesn't happen.

Or else I would just say you could probably just like you were saying, slow fade.

But yeah, it makes me think that like she's really scared that the friend will have some sort of big episode if she just like cuts her off completely all at once.

And that could be very triggering.

Like for someone that has mental health issues, like that loss of a lifelong friend could, I feel like that could cause an active psychosis.

I'm not sure.

I'm not a psychologist.

I would love for a psychologist to chime in.

I know we have some trauma specialists that like do really deal with stuff like this.

And they're in the comments sometimes because like, I think there are a lot of people out there.

And we actually have a case coming up where we are going to be reaching out to providers and psychologists to learn how to properly address someone who is in more of an active psychosis because it's like it is out of a lot of our depths, but we do encounter.

mental health all the time.

It's very important.

So it is good to like, if you have a family member and they're going through that, like, what is the best way to respond that keeps everyone safe and helps them the most?

Right.

That's, that's the key.

That's the dance.

Yeah.

Best way to respond that helps them the most and also protects everyone in the situation.

I know.

Like saying, I'm going to like hurt someone else or myself, that is even for professionals, like a huge,

like you, that, that's like where they draw the line, right?

Yeah.

Of like, okay, well, we have to 5150 or, you know, so I think even as a friend, like it's absolutely appropriate to be like this is the final straw lot of comments on this one yeah

just tell me what other people say i feel like i have no it's hard i'm not a professional

it's hard but it's like it's one of those things where it's like

thank god you found out now versus like you don't even know that you have to like look over your shoulder yeah like you don't know that you have to like kind of be more on edge now because this person

does have some thought within them that they are destined to kill you.

That's really scary, the like past life

thing is interesting.

It's like a spiritual psychosis almost.

Yeah.

Like, oh, in a past life, you, what'd she say, hit me with your car?

Yeah.

A red car.

Like the details.

Yeah, it's some sort of, I don't know what that is, but that's really spooky too.

I know.

So top comment on this one with 134 upvotes.

Like.

Some comments, like there's about 100 now, but it's still kind of flying under the radar right now in relationship advice.

So, top comment is: I'm really sorry you're going through this.

You're absolutely right to take this seriously.

What your friend said, regardless of whether it's a delusion, a cry for help, or something else, is a red flag.

When someone explicitly says they are destined to kill you, that is not something to ignore, especially given the long pattern of manipulation, erratic, and potentially dangerous behavior you've described.

You've clearly been an incredibly loyal, compassionate friend for a very long time, but it's okay, necessary even, to prioritize your own safety and peace now.

Yeah.

She has shown a refusal to seek meaningful help, and her instability has escalated into potentially dangerous territory.

Here's what I would suggest: distance immediately and quietly.

Don't confront her or try to give her closure.

That might provoke her.

Begin by minimizing contact.

Don't tell her when or why you're pulling back.

Just do it.

Document everything.

Save texts, voicemails, messages, especially anything related to the threat.

Screenshot what you remember from the conversation if it wasn't written.

Keep this all in a secure place.

If she ever shows up or contacts you in a threatening way again, you'll need it.

Consider a protective order.

It may feel extreme, but if she escalates or you feel in danger, having this documentation will help you file for a restraining order if needed.

Talk to a therapist.

This is a traumatic situation, and untangling from a relationship like this, especially one that started in childhood, can be really painful.

Having that professional support will help you process the grief and fear safely.

Inform close friends or family.

Let people around you know what's going on so they can check in.

You don't owe her your safety.

You did what you could for years, probably more than most would have, but she crossed a line that you cannot unhear.

Whether or not she meant it, the threat alone is enough.

Please take care of yourself.

You deserve to feel safe in your own life.

Yeah, that really sums it up perfectly, I think.

Right there, baby.

Yeah, that was really well put.

Yeah, OP does see it and responds.

Thank you.

I really appreciate your attention to the specifics of the situation.

I've definitely been distancing.

I have audio recordings as well as text.

Wow.

Yeah.

Getting the documentation, right, in case something happens and

you have to show it to the police.

It's almost like the crime junkie version of like your folder.

If something happens to you and like you go missing, it's like, okay, well, here's my picture and here's who could have done it and

all the documents that you're going to need.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Passport, birth, whatever.

I don't even know what they say.

They say put like fingerprints and stuff in it.

Oh my God.

DNA.

I don't know.

Hair clippings?

Probably.

Yeah.

It's a little

feels like excessive a little bit to have a folder like that.

There's enough pieces of hair in my car for me shedding.

Yeah.

Someone will find it.

OP does have a couple other comments that luckily, like she has cameras and things like that, but doesn't have a doorbell camera.

So is going to get one of those.

Yeah, but taking it seriously.

And

I'm sure there's a lot of guilt there, but absolutely doing the right thing.

Yeah, I agree.

I agree.

Wow, that one's

a heavy.

That one's really heavy.

It's a heavy.

Yeah.

Woof.

I know.

Also, woof

this next guy.

Oh, man.

I know.

It's really bad.

Is this one going to be heavier?

I don't.

It's not.

They're going to hit me with it.

I don't know.

Let's do it.

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Trigger warning on this next one, friends.

It does contain very serious talks of some mental health issues and mentions of SA.

So if you can't handle that today, please skip to the next story.

Markers will be in the description.

Okay, this next one.

Coming from AITAH, two days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Calling My Fiancé's Mom Obsessed with Him at Dinner in Front of Everyone?

I'll be honest, I was already irritated before dinner even started because his mom always has to be involved in everything.

She invited herself to our anniversary dinner.

We were celebrating four years together, and she showed up in a white dress, like deadass, a literal bridal white floor-length dress and heels.

She said she wanted to feel pretty too.

I'm already biting my tongue.

Anyways, we're all talking and laughing, and she cuts me off mid-sentence to tell this long story about how when he was a baby, he would cry if she left the room and she used to sleep on the floor next to his crib.

Okay, whatever.

Later, she then touches his face and goes, quote, you'll always be my favorite boy.

No one will ever love you like I do.

Everyone kind of laughed it off, but I was stunned because it's not even subtle anymore.

Like she's obsessed with him.

I didn't even think, it just came out of my mouth.

I said, quote, do you hear yourself?

You sound obsessed.

He's your son, not your boyfriend.

It was silent, like fork hitting plate, silent.

His brother literally choked on his wine.

His mom looked like I had slapped her.

She said I was being disrespectful and dramatic and started crying, saying,

I've loved him longer than anyone, and quote, you don't understand mother-son bonds.

He took her aside, said that I was rude and ruined the mood, and he didn't even check on me when I got up and left.

I ubered home.

He hasn't texted.

My best friend says I went too far, but I don't know.

It's been two days, and I feel even more angry.

Like I'm supposed to compete with this woman forever?

Be second to someone who acts like she's his ex?

I don't know.

I'm spiraling.

Did I cross the line or finally say what no one else would?

I feel like this story is the couple from the first story if they had actually gotten married.

Oh, my God.

Like her

fiancé, husband, and like his special little relationship with his mommy.

That's like the thing on TikTok right now, right?

Have you seen all those videos that are like, get ready with me to take my son to prom.

And it's the mom.

She's putting on like, like a prom dress that she got at Dillard's and like full, full beat, full hair.

What?

Like showing the camera.

And then I don't think she's going to prom with the son, but she's like getting ready to take pictures with him and his date.

It's very strange.

I'm so confused.

Or there was also that one that was like, destined to be your mom or no like born to be your wife forced to be your mom, or something like that.

No, and they're taking like the photos of like her son in his football uniform.

I've seen the football ones, I didn't hear the quote with it.

Yeah, I think that was the quote that they said with it.

I might, I might be getting like a who is it, Madison Humphrey, who recreates all of them.

I love her.

She might have added that, but like, I'm pretty sure it was in the original, too.

I can't imagine, like, granted, I don't have kids.

I can't imagine ever being like that.

I loved him longer than anyone.

Yeah, saying that to like so, like, his romantic partner is just so out of pocket.

It's just so strange to even conflate those two things.

And like, the weird competition between,

I guess, moms and wives,

which, like, I haven't dealt with any of that.

So, like, I feel very fortunate.

But I know a lot of people do deal with that.

A lot of like moms are like, I was the first woman in his life.

And, like, oh, that's always a bad sign.

But I think it's also indicative, too, of like, you, I, this was the issue in the first story, too.

Of like, usually, those in this situation, boys, it's like really anyone who is shown preferential treatment by a parent, like, they're kind of baby their whole life, and then they take that parent's side in arguments, like with their spouse.

Like, they're not standing up for their spouse in arguments, or they're not going straight to mom when they have an issue, or they're like texting mom about the fights they're having with their wives, or like, yeah, it's just there's so much in those situations.

I know, and it's so good you found out now that you don't have a partner like him going to you after that like

i think he said it to his mom that you're rude and you ruined the mood

okay you might have brought down the mood a little bit but was it a lie was it a lie you have to stand up for your partner yeah and like you know i know and the way this was written

I think this was their anniversary dinner.

Yeah.

Like she shows up to your anniversary dinner.

Like you are engaged, about to be married.

You're having a four-year anniversary dinner.

She shows up in white, which, I don't know, wedding season is upon us right now.

And the stories that are coming out are bonkers.

I just saw a picture.

It's like shared the picture from the wedding.

And she wore a white dress and walked down the aisle with her son.

And she posted the picture.

It is

a white dress.

Yeah.

White, white, white.

No.

Someone told me early on, like before my wedding, they were like, you know, when you get married, you realize throughout the process, all of the people who wish it was them getting married that day instead.

And that also applies to like bridesmaids or even like groomsmen or, you know, like, there's always people who are like, I wish this was my wedding and like kind of commandeer stuff in weird ways or want it to be their vision.

They want to be the one in white.

I know.

It's definitely a hard boundary to keep.

Like someone that's planning.

and it's hard because like everyone's gonna have their opinion.

Everyone wants to help, which I really appreciate.

And one thing I do kind of like I'm toying with right now is like, do I just put my mom in white?

I'm like, do I put her in white?

Like she never got to have a wedding.

Oh,

interesting.

Her partner passed away a couple of years ago now from colon cancer, which hey, all we forgot to mention, colon cancer awareness month.

Please get screened.

I just had a friend get a massive tumor taken out today and it's getting biopsied.

So you're kidding.

He is literally 29.

So get screened, okay?

It's happening younger and younger.

It's so scary.

It's, it's our food, but we won't get into that today.

But I'm like, it's something that was so important and special to her and she never got to have.

So I'm like, I honestly might let her wear white.

But then I'm like, would Justin's mom feel left out?

So then I'm like, do I put both moms in cream ivory, like gold?

Does your mom want to wear white?

I don't know.

She wore white to my brother's wedding.

Oh, really?

It was yellow, but in the pictures it doesn't.

Oh, but it looks white.

I think sometimes like my mom on my wedding just wanted to look beautiful.

Like she had her beautiful dress.

She wanted her makeup to look beautiful.

Like, you know, sometimes it's not like I want to look like the bride.

It's like, so maybe your mom just wants to like feel good and have like a special seat.

Yeah.

She's cute.

She's just such a little cutie that I want her to feel special.

So I'm like, Do you think you're going to, if someone shows up to your wedding wearing white, that's not your mom who you already pre-approved?

Are you throwing them out?

Yeah.

Or are they going to be?

I don't know.

I'm like really toying with that because I'm like, ugh, whatever.

Not a big deal.

Like my grandma, I'm having her be my flower girl.

So I'm putting her in like a white set or dress, whatever she wants to wear.

But I did, this might be my bridezilla moment, guys.

On our wedding, like RSVP website, I have a tab that's like vibe outfit inspo.

And I'm like, it's cocktail attire required, cowboy boots encouraged.

And so I'm like, you can do what you want.

But I literally on the bottom, I put no white smiley face.

I've read enough Reddit stories to know I need to say this.

That's funny.

I'm like, I hope they get it.

Some of the old people probably won't.

I also,

I accidentally bought vintage stamps of two birds having sex.

You know, I did see that on your Instagram story and I did think the birds were having sex, but I wasn't going to say anything.

No.

Because I was like, it's not my place.

It doesn't look like that in person.

I looked at a user

and it does not look like that at all.

But when you're scrolling through 100 miles an hour on Instagram Reels, you're like, those birds are fucking.

Those birds are fucking.

They're like, the cranes are, they're whooping.

The whooping cranes are making whoopy.

And I'm like, oh my God, you guys.

People were, I've never gotten more messages in my life.

Oh, my gosh.

Was it enough for you to be like, I can't use these stamps?

Are you still going to use them?

I really did consider redoing a lot of those envelopes, but they're going out.

Hopefully, people don't think I'm kinky and weird.

Camp.

It's cute.

Whatever.

Maybe people appreciate it.

It's fine.

Top comment on this one.

They quote what OP said.

His brother literally choked on his wine.

Bro had always wanted to say what you said, in my opinion.

Which, brother, that went over my head, okay?

So that's his brother.

And the mom literally said, you'll always be my favorite boy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

I didn't even register that.

The brother's right there.

So the brother's been waiting for for someone to tell her off four years, probably.

You did.

At that point.

Community service.

Yeah.

This in no way should have ever been a deathbed confession.

This needed to be said today.

Yeah, absolutely.

I'm so curious if OP is going to call it off.

Two days old.

I'm really

not married yet, right?

Fiance.

It's a lot harder to call off once you're married.

I know.

People were accusing this of being fake.

This is real.

Not fake, O.P.

says.

It just hurts to think that his mom matters more to him than I do.

Where do I even stand in all of this?

OP does say, I think you're right.

Someone says you should probably call it off.

And they go, it's not worth it to stay.

Wow.

Yikes.

But

no official update.

And

no other comments.

I wonder when they were planning on getting married.

I I know.

Like when the wedding is, because you might have to move fast.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

This is like a couple weeks before your wedding.

Yeah.

You got to cancel as soon as possible to hopefully get any of those deposits back.

I know.

You've already

gone.

What's the, I know someone who canceled a wedding,

I want to say the, oh man, it was, I think the day after the bridal or the bachelorette party.

So close.

Coming down to the wire.

Yeah.

And I think they were able to get some of the money back, but you lose a lot of money on weddings.

You lose.

At that point, just throw a party.

Yeah.

You're in too deep.

Just throw a really good party.

Yeah.

You could always just have the people still come, I guess.

Just throw a little party.

I have seen that.

I saw a bride post a TikTok.

She was like, found out my fiancé was cheating on me the day before the wedding or something.

She's like, me and my family threw an amazing party.

Wow.

That's beautiful.

I don't know if I would be able to keep it together enough to do that, but maybe you're just like, so, you're just running on adrenaline at that point.

You're like, I'm just going to crash out on the dance floor.

Yep, that would be me.

Because I paid for this DJ.

That would be me.

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Wow.

This next one makes me want to crash out too.

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So, this is coming from r/slash relationship advice.

It is six hours old.

It's titled, My 27 Male Best Friend, 27 Male, Confessed to Me That He Tampered with a condom, resulting in a friend's 25 female pregnancy.

Why is everyone touching each other's stuff?

I don't know what to do.

So there's actually more to this story than just tampering with the condom, but that's the main point.

I'm 27 male, married to my wife, 27 female.

About four years ago, my wife met this girl and they became best friends and she started hanging around us.

She was always quite shy, and when she met my wife, she had never had her first kiss or been on a date.

One night, I remember a few of the guys joking about who could take her V card, and my best friend was betting he could do it.

I never told my wife or any of the girls about that.

Over time, he seemed like he actually liked her and continued to ask her out, and she rejected him.

I assumed he would give up at some point.

Like five or six months ago, he shows up to golf bragging about finally convincing her to go out with him.

Within a few weeks, was then then bragging, he finally convinced her to have sex with him.

And then, I think, about three or four weeks later, they told us she was pregnant.

Last night we were drinking, and he told me he messed with the condom.

He said she told him she wasn't on birth control as she had never done anything and wasn't planning on it.

And when she told him that, he said he

thought it would be his only chance to keep her.

He went on about how he'll give her a good life and said she would be better off because she always thought she didn't want kids.

He also told me that night he took her virginity, aka the night she got pregnant, that she wasn't sure about it.

And it took a lot of convincing.

Ew!

There's so many

ways in which you could go to jail for this.

Or should.

No, this is jail.

This is jail.

Bring the electric chair back.

I told you it's still around.

North Carolina.

Send him to North Carolina.

North Carolina.

Worst part is she's extremely depressed.

She also expressed to my wife she never wanted this.

She's scared and not ready.

She moved in with him and he's already proposed when she told him she was pregnant.

So they are all in on this.

Do I tell her or my wife?

She also told my wife she was just grateful he was stepping up and taking care of her and she didn't want to do it alone.

So at this point, I don't know if I tell anyone or not.

At the same time, listening to him talk about it made me feel sick.

And if it were my little sister, I probably would have killed him.

Oh my gosh, where to even start?

I think you start trying to build a case so this guy can go to jail for this.

I like you need to get him put away.

You have to look up the laws in your state for recording conversations.

So you know if it's legal

if you like record him saying these things, can that be used in a court of law?

I'm pretty sure every state like stealthing someone is illegal.

No, it's sexual assault.

Yeah, that's sexual assault.

Yeah.

No, this is like, so like, there's so many

things here where it's just like, oh, I just want to like scream into a pillow.

Like,

this is so fucked.

It's just so beyond.

Like, you, you have to say something.

You cannot let this be a deathbed confession.

No.

Oh, my gosh.

Can you imagine?

Because you don't know where she's at right now.

You like.

Regardless, she shouldn't be with someone who did this.

That's so scary to have never have had slept with someone before.

And now all of a sudden you're pregnant.

Like the absolute...

And you didn't even know if you wanted to kid.

Well, that, I mean, is a whole other thing.

That's like so devastating for her.

But to just go from this one thing of like, okay, I'm kind of being coaxed into doing this in the first place.

And now like.

Because like being pregnant is also like an invasive thing too, right?

You're getting poked and prodded all the time.

So it's just like alien in you.

Yeah, literally.

So it's just that's so much for that girl.

Like she and she deserves to know the full situation that she is now involved in.

Absolutely.

Because like the thing is,

this man is a psychopath.

He did this to her.

And then she's living with him.

And again, I just like don't know what he's willing to do to keep her.

Well, I'm like, so this guy was friends with him.

I refuse to believe this is the first time he's ever done something so drastic in his life.

Like,

why are you friends with this person?

He's crazy.

I don't, I'm, it's beyond me.

I don't understand.

That's really upsetting.

I think you just have to start building a case so you could, like, so she can, like, take this guy to court.

Absolutely.

And I think, like, here's the thing for like anyone out there listening, if you have a friend in your life that clearly doesn't respect other people's boundaries, because like they met this girl four years ago, the guy made a bet that he could do it, take her V card, whatever.

He continued to ask her out and she rejected him.

You assumed, OP, that he would give up at some point.

He didn't.

So this has been him harassing her for three and a half years to go out with him.

Yeah.

That is crazy behavior.

I feel like I know so many, not so many people, but I do know a few people who have like one incredibly problematic person in their friend group.

And you're like, why are you friends with this person?

And they're like, They're just like that.

Like they've been like that since college.

And it's so baffling to me how that is just like, that just happens.

But for some reason, people, yeah, just don't feel the need to speak up.

Like, hey, maybe don't harass this person into going out with you.

I think a lot of people excuse it and like justify it based on how long they've known them.

Like Lauren and I were just talking about this last night and she was so sad.

She forgot to mention it on the episode.

But there's like a mutual in her boyfriend's group that like he is not friends with.

And he said something to Brian about Lauren where it's like, well, Brian's just manipulated because he's with a free thinker.

and you you can't be with that you need to find a woman who's not a free thinker

what yeah Lauren's like losing her mind over it because that's so anti-her and it's just like it's like what why are you friends with this person I mean not he's really friends with him but like

that's what I'm talking about like that person just being around in the friend group and saying things like no like you want a woman that can't think for herself like get that person out of the friend group that's scary yeah that's really scary that's scary like like you think you want someone who's beneath you?

You don't want someone who has a mind of their own and can what what I mean some people think like that the implications of that I don't like it Yeah,

yeah, it's just like and this person too It's like he knows that she is a fully autonomous individual.

Yeah, and he wants to take that from her because he knows given the opportunity she wouldn't go for it So he like ripped that away from her

and deserves to be in prison North Carolina.

Yeah, in North Carolina.

Yeah, that's what we'll call it now.

And when I say electric chair, I don't like, I'm not saying we need to take him out, but like just a painful shocking once a week to make him think about what he's done.

Yeah, a couple zaps.

Yeah, we can hook him up to a horse fence.

Honestly, yeah.

That hurts, but it teaches you a lesson.

Yeah, the horses don't go back to the spot.

But yeah, that's just, it's so upsetting.

I mean, obviously, like real action needs to be taken.

This isn't something that you like settle in your friend group.

No, you need to come clean.

Who do you tell first?

I think maybe you maybe you tell your girlfriend who's her friend.

Yeah.

Or your wife.

Your wife.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that would be probably the best.

And it's like, I know some people might be like yelling.

They're like, no, don't burden her with that.

Go directly to the girl.

But like, honestly, I think your wife would also be hurt if you didn't tell her.

Yeah.

Oh, totally.

And

if they have that like repertoire already, like, I feel like she would maybe be better equipped to like speak the language of the friend and like deliver the news and away but i also understand people being like don't make this your wife's problem yeah like i see both sides yeah of course but also i think like it's gonna be better from someone like she trusts and loves because like you're friends with her but you're also like her bestie's husband like yeah it would feel for me better coming from my friend

Would you want both of them to sit down together and tell you?

Maybe.

Because I think that adds to the credibility.

Yeah.

If he was like, I heard this and she's like i wanted to be there for you while he told you this yeah i would maybe prefer that yeah i'm thinking and she's really gonna need support because she already moved in there so it's like now you got to help this girl she's gotta get out get out yeah

okay

wow

top comment on this one you should have felt sick about his antics a long time ago he's appalling Tell your girlfriend and support your female friend together after telling the friend what he did.

Next one down, it's heartbreaking to think that nobody stopped OP's friend and told him he was being a massive creep.

This would be creepy in any situation, but OP said this woman is not in a stable situation.

The guy manipulated and purposefully impregnated her, and her life is already unstable.

This is why I'm friends with him behavior.

Yeah, all bold, all caps.

Jesus Christ, you have to tell her immediately.

Yeah.

This was only posted six hours ago at the time I opened the tab.

We do have a couple comments.

No official update, though.

At least for now, she's living at his house.

He's financially stable.

And I know for a fact she isn't.

She has him taking care of her now and is already depressed.

Once I tell, it becomes 10 times worse.

But that, no, it doesn't matter.

10 times worse.

It's just she doesn't have the information.

Like, it already is that bad.

It's just that one person doesn't know how bad it is.

And that is not fair.

I don't, I hate that argument of like, oh, but when I tell them that's when it becomes bad.

Wasn't that just something that happened with one of the Love is Blind contestants where they were like touching someone who was asleep and, but they were also in a, this is like, we have to fact check this, but basically they were saying like, well, if someone's asleep, they don't know and it's not mentally upsetting to them.

And it's like, well, should they know that that happened to them?

And that was like a big thing

with like, I think even the Duggar family, when the sisters were being abused, they were like, well, some of them were asleep.

Like, do we tell them what happened?

Yes.

Yes.

People are not going to be able to do that.

Oh, my God.

What

this was a thing, too, in the podcast we saw live, when we went and saw Crime Junkie Live, there was like someone who was taking pictures of people in.

a bathroom and the police like destroyed all of those because they were like we're gonna do justice to the victims and not expose this or tell them but it's like it's that argument of like should people know or are they better off?

Ignorance is bliss.

Like, it's,

it's tough.

And it's, it's even tougher if someone's a minor when it happened, which in that case, a lot of them were like young girls too.

It's like,

I was insane.

Yeah, it was like horrifying, just absolutely horrifying.

It's so bad.

I think it's best for people to know so they can like live their lives accordingly and like have relationships with people accordingly rather than like not knowing someone abused them.

Yeah.

And I think like like if you have situations that happen, you can then like trust your gut.

You won't doubt yourself.

Yeah, right.

Your radar will be more attuned.

Like you can then proceed forward knowing all the cards on the table.

Right.

OP

continues to just like keep digging a hole and trying to justify like not telling in the comments.

It's actually kind of worrying me that like OP's not going to say anything.

God, there's one here.

I'm worried if I do speak up, that it will truly make it worse for her.

At least now she's safe and is living with him and has him to take care of her.

I know for a fact she's not financially stable, but he is.

She told my wife her worst fear was him leaving her to do it alone.

Next comment: I honestly believe she is safe though.

He has been obsessed with her since they met, and despite what he did, he will take care of her and protect her.

There's a baby coming at this point.

Whether I tell the truth or not, the only difference is if I don't, her and her baby have a man with a good job and house taking care of them.

If I do, she's a 25-year-old waitress and single mother.

I don't think he'd hit her.

And honestly, it seems like he spoils her trying to make her feel better.

Still doesn't make it right, but might be the better of two scenarios.

Now I'm out on everyone in this story.

The way they talk about her is infuriating.

Like, she's this, oh, oh no, like, as long as she's not getting hit, that's the best possible situation she could be in because her, the worst case scenario is her being a waitress.

Get real.

A single mother.

Get real.

Fuck you, dude.

Like, no.

What a

just, yeah, the way they

view the women involved in this story is just horrendous.

I'm like blown away.

That's really upsetting that he's the only one that knows this information because he is so ill-equipped to handle it appropriately.

Someone needs to find out so they can tell her.

Absolutely.

It doesn't get better.

He goes in this next comment.

I don't see how what I said is vile in regards to that last one we read.

Someone said, you're vile.

I get it.

He's a terrible person.

What he did sucks, but it's done regardless of what I do next.

It's not that easy of a decision.

I highly doubt half of these people wouldn't agree if they were put in it.

He sucks.

No, he is a perverted criminal.

Let's call space.

Oh my gosh.

Listen, I know this situation sucks.

Like,

he's so serious.

It sucks.

It's like a huge bummer that like

a very serious crime took place.

Psycho.

Yeah, you're a psychopath too.

Yeah, that's really bad.

That's, I feel horrible for her.

There's a comment here.

Well, for the record, I've decided to tell my wife tonight.

I'm still not sure it's the right decision, but I'm doing it.

Thank God.

Thank God.

I mean, the wife could also be horrible.

We really don't know.

So, OP does say, I didn't know he was planning to get her pregnant on purpose.

Like, I would have stopped it if I did know.

I refreshed, and this is now nine hours old.

So, I hope to God

we get an update on this one.

I want to, I, yeah, this one I really want an update on.

Need it.

I'm going to worry about this girl.

I'm like, drop a pin, girl.

Like, we'll come help you move out.

Seriously.

Holy smokes.

Wow.

Okay.

Last one for us because we cannot end on that

note.

Okay, I'm giving you a choice on this last one.

Okay.

Okay.

So option one, sister-in-law freaks out on me because her fiancé tried to book me for his bachelor party.

Okay, interesting.

Or option two, found out spouse was hiding huge debt, 39 female and 37 male.

And option three, how do I, 19 male, tell my girlfriend, 18 female, that my family are nudists?

Let's do that one because I want to hear some teenagers try to figure out how to solve that.

Some chaos.

Okay, this is coming from a relationship advice two days old, again, titled, How do I, 19 male, tell my girlfriend, 18 female, that my family are nudists?

I'll answer any questions or chats about the more obvious thing about this post.

But, anyways, my family's fairly casual about nudity around the house, and it's not uncommon for some or all of us to decide to not bother with clothes if the weather permits, especially for our pool and such.

We also go go to a close optional resort slash camp pretty regularly in the summer.

The only one in my social circle who knows about this stuff is my best friend and his parents, and he's fine with it.

He maybe just jokes about it.

I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year now and have been considering telling her about this side of my family, mainly because it feels like I'm hiding it from her and to a lesser degree it's kind of annoying to me and my family to have to warn them when she's coming over so that people are dressed.

What would be the best way to tell her?

Or is that even advisable?

I'm just kind of stressing over it because I don't want her to take it wrong or think it's weird/slash gross.

And I feel like the longer I wait, the worse she'll take it.

And it's already been a while.

That's a major reason we don't really broadcast us doing it since most people would probably react very negatively about it.

What do I do?

You have to tell very soon.

No,

but like, yeah, also the rationale, like, because people use this with like everything, like so many different things.

They're like, but if I, if I tell them, they'll be mad.

It's like, but that's why you have to tell them.

Like, yeah.

You can't just not tell someone something because they might be mad at you or might be weirded out.

Oh my god.

Don't you want to find a lovely partner who's going to accept that lifestyle too?

And then you don't have to

worry about it.

So, I mean, maybe she's cool with it.

I'm sure she's not cool with it, but like,

maybe.

I would have ran the other direction.

As much as I love Justin, if he came to me and said, Hey, oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

My family are actually nudists.

I don't, that's

not a pilgrim.

I'll be like, yo, yep, witch, catch me in that bonnet.

I'll bring up, I'm going straight to the collar anytime I'm around them.

Like, and yeah, which

bring back Salem.

True, I know.

I just can't even imagine.

I mean, everyone is so different.

Some people just like truly live by different.

Have you ever gone to someone's house and been like shocked at the way they lived?

Or like, I remember even being little, going to someone's house for like a sleepover and just seeing like how differently their family react.

It was nothing ever crazy, but like, yeah, seeing how different people live their lives was always just so interesting to me.

And like to realize there's not one way to do everything.

I mean, obviously being a nudist is like in such a far direction, but it is just so interesting that everyone is so different and just like can do whatever they want.

I know.

It is so wild.

I definitely like, I had friends like that in high school where my mom was always like, I really don't want you staying over at their house because like their family just operated so different.

Like their 13 year old daughter could go stay at boys' houses and like it was, it was just a different operation.

I remember there was this one, it was my sibling's friend who like we would go over sometimes and there would just be dog poop everywhere.

and when you're really little like i and we didn't have pets growing up but i knew that like dogs just shouldn't be pooping everywhere but i didn't think it was as big of a deal as like my parents was in their house like just in the house it was most so like the ground outside was all white because it would be so old that it had turned white so their whole front yard was like white with this dog poop and like the backyard was a mess i i remember their house the inside smelling really bad but i don't remember seeing any dog poop in there but my parents were immediately like

something's wrong like there's maybe like a mental health issue with one of the parents and we just don't feel comfortable sending you over to their house anymore.

You have to be very careful with your kids.

I know that that's like been a big movement now.

It's like people don't even do sleepovers.

Like they don't let their kids do sleepovers anymore.

And like I'm so on board for that.

Like I get it.

You cannot be too careful.

It's so interesting.

I was just listening to a podcast where they were talking about how like parents today, on average, parent their children for five hours a day.

And in the 70s, it was two hours a day.

Wow.

Because kids are at home a lot more.

They're not running around the neighborhood, like going all over the town.

They're not having sleepovers.

Like, you actually are spending a lot more time with your parents.

And that's not necessarily good either, maybe for like child development, but

it's a lot better than like a horrible thing happening to them at someone else's house.

So, like, it's interesting watching my friends now that have kids start to reckon with that.

Of like, yeah, do I trust some random kids' parents to like watch over my kid for a weekend?

I don't don't know.

I don't know.

With this one,

one, I'm really curious if we have any nudists in our community.

Please tell me how it is.

What got you into it.

How you broke the news to a partner.

That.

Also, I will say, it sounds like the family is respectful and

they wear clothes, like they get a heads up, and they're like, of course, we would never force our lifestyle on someone else.

Yeah, I do find it weird to take family vacations when you have children to nude camps.

I just don't trust other people.

Yeah, I get your home, your pool, your family.

Okay.

Please comment.

I'm trying not to be super judgmental, but

the longer I think about it, the weirder, the more like weirded out I am getting.

But I think I started out being like, I have an open mind.

And the more I think about it, I'm like, maybe I'm not that open.

I don't know if my mind is open today.

Yeah.

Have to tell her, though.

We're both on that.

But you have to say something.

She has to know.

Yeah.

Top comment: be prepared for your family to still need to wear clothes, even if you tell her.

It's okay if she isn't comfortable seeing your dad's dick when she comes over for spaghetti.

Why?

Next comment: Down.

True, consent goes both ways.

She might be fine with a lifestyle, but still wants boundaries and a dick-free dinner.

Definitely.

So true.

OP responds: fair.

Most people wouldn't want extra sausage around.

Hmm.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

You picked this one.

I did pick this one.

I was curious how it was going to shake out.

And you know what?

I don't regret it.

No, it is.

It's also quite entertaining.

He's like 18.

19.

He's 19 and she's 18.

Yeah.

Not that that really changes much, but like,

yeah, so interesting.

Because do you remember being 18?

Like, I was still so, like, the world was so unknown to me when I was 18.

I remember going to college and like, my shit got rocked because I was just like, yeah, I just, I'm from a small town.

I hadn't really experienced much.

What like what rocked you?

Just like the debauchery, I think of like, oh, people do have free will.

I think I put like boundaries on myself and like, I was really.

hard on myself and had to get good grades and had to be home at a certain time and I never lied to my parents.

And then you get to college and they're like, oh my gosh, people can just do whatever they want.

Or some people have like so much more experience with alcohol.

Like I think if I went over to someone's house and like one of their parents was just naked and being like acting like nothing was wrong, I would have

like had an aneurysm.

I think I would too.

And even at 18, like I was, I was a little bit of a rebel.

I was like driving, doing like eight-hour road trips by myself to go visit my boyfriend in college at 16.

Wow, you were the girl I was scared of.

Yeah, yeah, I was a little out there.

Like we, my friend group, we were bit trouble, trouble, troublesome, troublemakers.

Yeah.

So like at 13, 14, we'd go down to like this haunted ship that Duluth has and

steal our parents' peppermint schnapps and get hammered and go on the haunted ship.

Wow.

So

don't recommend that.

If you have kids, keep close eyes on your liquor can.

So you're really like, oh, I know what kids can get up to.

I have no sleepovers.

Hell no.

My mom, there was one time I said, oh, yeah, I'm at my friend Heather's Heather's house.

Next thing I know, my mom's rolling up, coming down the basement steps.

Morgan, get your ass out here.

Like,

she was good.

She knew.

She knew.

You could not pull one over her.

No.

So knowing what I did, I'm like, with add-in modern technology.

But do you think if you went to like your partner's house and their parent was naked on the couch acting like nothing was wrong, you probably also would have like freaked out.

That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, even still.

Like I would have been like, hell no like

i'm i'm out there but like not this out there especially 18 she's only 18.

i know she's only 18.

18 is young you do need you need a heads up like he has to say something because if there's an accident and you don't warn your family and she just pops in you know you get more comfortable and she swings by because she's in the neighborhood and she's like i brought you what spaghetti but like yeah and then she was to see something she doesn't want to see yeah or you're sick in bed and it's like yeah come over your dad accidentally comes home you don't know because you're sick in bed and she walks through.

Yeah, that's that can be like traumatizing.

Prevent the, prevent the awkwardness.

You know, just, you got to tell her.

OP does say, like, I'm going to tell her if she's not okay with it, I guess we continue as we are and she's just aware of it.

I guess the larger thing is feeling awkward about not telling her.

And if she learned some other way or something, that she'd take it even worse.

Getting surprised.

Yeah, that's absolutely the worst way to learn about it.

I'm just like, this is now a new huge fear of mine.

I never want to walk in on my in-laws naked.

I never want to walk in on anyone naked.

Like accidentally, it's just like,

it's so shocking when it happens.

And it's just like, yeah, it's just such a bad situation.

That's like one of my like newer pet peeves.

And it's like, not newer, but like I've noticed it a lot more lately.

dressing room curtains that don't close on the ends.

I know.

Bathroom doors.

I'm way too lax with the dressing room curtains.

Why are we not having doors standards, doors with no gaps, bathrooms?

I shouldn't be able to see someone peeking at me through a stall as I'm washing my hands.

I was at the AMC the other day, and like the whole way down, you just see everyone in the stalls.

Like the gaps are so wide now.

What is up with that?

Leave a little mystery in life.

I feel like I have no idea what is going on, but yeah, I feel like I have noticed that where there's just like a little bit less privacy.

So strange.

Yeah.

So strange.

A lot of comments from OP.

No formal update yet.

Yeah, no.

Are people in the comments being like judgmental of his family?

Honestly, the comments feel very positive to me.

A lot of them just

sexual jokes.

Someone goes, just tell her.

Most nudists wear clothes when visitors arrived.

Signed long-term nudist

OP response fair.

That's literally how we operate.

99%

of the company we have, that 1% is either nudists themselves or don't care.

But yeah, no formal update.

A lot of comments.

So I will be sure to post the link for this one if you want to really dive into the nudist.

Yeah, maybe learn something new.

Yeah.

I want to hear from you guys, though.

Like, if you are a nudist or if you've experienced a partner that's a nudist, maybe it's way more common than we think.

Yeah.

I guess I've never heard of any, like, anyone I know being one or them knowing someone who is, but

maybe, yeah, maybe it is more common.

I'm curious.

I just Googled how many U.S.

nudist communities are there?

there?

Oh, interesting.

About 200 to 260 affiliated with the American Association for Nude Recreation Association has over 30,000 members.

Okay.

Very small.

Very small.

Feels niche.

There's like 360 million people in America.

So 30,000 is like nothing.

But I bet people don't self-report.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, people probably don't admit to that.

Which, if you're nudist, be proud.

You know,

you're doing it.

Yeah.

Be proud.

You're doing it.

you're doing it you're really doing it thank you so so much for coming on thank you for having me on these were all wild wild stories this was insane yeah you have some insane episodes the ones i've listened to the the plane one with the girl that fell from the plane oh yeah juliana kopka i think it i think about it every time i fly now yeah and especially with these planes going dark in newark kaylin how are we gonna fly I have no idea.

I'm like not okay.

Wait, what are the ones going dark in Newark?

They're going dark.

Like air traffic control is like like losing planes.

I did not hear that.

Oh, I hate that.

Yeah.

Oh, I really hate that.

Yeah.

But that episode of yours is amazing.

Where can people find you?

How can they listen?

People can listen to Heart Starts Pounding wherever they get their podcasts.

We're on YouTube.

We are on Spotify, Apple, everywhere you get podcasts.

And then I'm on all socials at HeartStarts Pounding.

Amazing.

It'll be easy to find.

All the links will be in the description, as well as the links for our new show, Clues.

Come over and listen.

Yes, please come listen.

We've got some really, really good cases.

I um, I'm really like, I'm really proud of the work we've been doing.

Yeah, we put a lot of work into these episodes.

I know, and so does the team at Pave.

It's just like it's incredible

machine that we have going, but I love the feedback we've gotten so far.

So, thank you all.

All of you that have come over.

Everyone who's listened, yeah, thank you so much, truly.

Absolutely.

But come check it out.

And on that note, got nothing else, head over to Patreon.

But until next time, bye.

Bye.