240: Bruh..

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Speaker 1 Hi, welcome back to another episode of Two Hot Takes. I'm your host, Morgan.
I'm Lauren. Wow.

Speaker 1 It's

Speaker 1 starting off strong. Coming in?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 It feels like it's been so long. It has.
It's been a minute. Like, cause I batch recorded everything before the wedding.

Speaker 1 So like, we literally haven't recorded for like a month, month and a half, maybe? Probably, yeah, at least a month and a half, I think. It's been some time.

Speaker 1 I feel, it literally feels like two months to me. Forever.
Yeah. Forever.
What's something crazy that's happened to you in the time since we've been together? Are you setting me up for something?

Speaker 1 What did you just do? What'd you just get yourself? I got a new car. A new car.
First new car for Lauren in like

Speaker 1 15 years. No, no, no, no, not 15 years.
10 years. It was, I think that it was eight years ago when I got it.
It is a, it's a 2015 though, but I got it in 2017.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.
I feel like like you've had that little thing forever. Eight years.
Oh, it might be nine. I mean, this car, Lauren had like this old little Toyota.

Speaker 1 She's the cutest little car, but it like didn't lock anymore. It, it was, it was time.
Yeah. Well, the Bluetooth stopped working.
And that's when I really thought

Speaker 1 it just sucks. Like,

Speaker 1 and didn't have carplay. Like, didn't have anything.

Speaker 1 fancy no and and if I were to get it fixed too like

Speaker 1 it totals it, like it was totaled. Like it's only worth like a thousand dollars.
That's what they told you. Yeah, two thousand, but two, yes, two.

Speaker 1 Um, but which is still, I mean, it was a decent amount. Yeah, well, not compared to what I bought it for, though.

Speaker 1 I thought it would hold up a little bit better, but apparently, like, wherever I bought it from, they completely redid the front, which it works perfectly fine. You never would have known.

Speaker 1 No, I would have never known, but because they're not original parts, then a lot of these car companies, they're not allowed to sell it on the lot. So they would buy it for parts.

Speaker 1 So I definitely like I can sell it more. It's definitely worth more.
Yeah. It will run for a long time.
It's very reliable. It's a Toyota.
Yeah. Very, very exciting.

Speaker 1 I'm obviously back from honeymoon where I went to Iceland for a couple of days. We did like a mini moon because we.
took Justin's grandpa to London to go see the Minnesota Vikings play there.

Speaker 1 I saw that. Yeah.
It was really cool. But one thing I discovered when I was abroad is this show called Naked Attraction.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 was mind-blown. Oh my God.
No, I've watched that before. Where they like have all these people in boxes.
Yeah. And then they slowly raise them up.

Speaker 1 And like the first glimpse you get, there's six people in a box and one person is judging them to pick them for a first date.

Speaker 1 And it goes from their feet up to their belly button, and you see everything.

Speaker 1 I was shocked. I couldn't, I didn't even know they were allowed to put that on just like regular television.
It was insane.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, Justin, like, was flipping through the channels at our hotel, and we came across this, and I'm like, what is this? And they zoom up. I know.
They like. talking

Speaker 1 detail about these people's labias and clits and their penises and are they circumcised and or like i'm just like whoa

Speaker 1 whoa

Speaker 1 and they it at least when I watched it, this was now a couple of years ago, but it was the voice they used too.

Speaker 1 It felt like the same type of dating show voice where it was like, ah, yeah, look at that over there. Like,

Speaker 1 it's like a weirdly like Love Island. Yes.

Speaker 1 But like, not did. I wonder if Naked Attraction inspired Love Island.
I don't know. Which came first? Chicken or the Egg?

Speaker 1 Crazy show. You can now watch it here in the States on

Speaker 1 one of the streaming platforms. And so we started watching it at home.
And it's just like, it's, it's so nuts. I just think it's shocking that one,

Speaker 1 they were able to like move through with a show like that. And that two, that people volunteer for that because, like, I,

Speaker 1 the ones that I watched at least, like, they're like brutal because some people are like,

Speaker 1 they're like, yeah, they're like, I'm just really not interested in your

Speaker 1 private parts. Like,

Speaker 1 it's like, that's messed up. I know.
It's a really interesting show. A lot of people find it very liberating.
I feel like Europe is just like more comfortable with nudity, which I'd prefer that.

Speaker 1 I'd prefer us being chill with nudity and not showing some of the stuff we show on TV here. Like violence.

Speaker 1 They don't show violence. They show nudity.
We don't show nudity. We show violence.
Yeah. I'd like to take a note from their book, but

Speaker 1 that show had me just kind of reeling. And like,

Speaker 1 no matter what story I've come across since then, the only thing that comes to mind as far as a theme goes is bruh. Like, B-R-U-H, bruh.
Like, is it a good bruh? Is it a bad bruh?

Speaker 1 Like, bruh can just mean so many different things

Speaker 1 being one word. My brain has been just like

Speaker 1 flat. I can't, I can't think of themes.

Speaker 1 After, I think this is great. This is, remember when I said that, like, if I were to come up with titles, they'd be like emojis.
Like, I, I support this. This is like down my lane.

Speaker 1 I'm gonna, like, literally start letting Patreon just like pick the titles going forward. Cause, like, I think after 238,

Speaker 1 nine, I don't know where we're at, I'm out of titles. I'm like, my brain has gone flat.
Yeah, I'm like, I gotta check and make sure I haven't used the word bruh before.

Speaker 1 Haven't used bruh, so we're safe. Bruh.
I'd be like, this one's called penguin. There's no penguins in this episode.
I just like the word.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm making sure I know what bruh actually means.

Speaker 1 Okay, so it is a noun. It's informal, U.S.
English. A male friend, often used as a form of address.
Get off the internet and get a life, bruh.

Speaker 1 And if that ain't the title, get off the internet and get a life, bruh, bruh.

Speaker 1 Love it. Like, love it.
It's also

Speaker 1 that sometimes. I'm like, I'm like, stop looking at these crazy things that people are posting online.
The internet can, you can get in a crazy place on the internet. Yeah.
It can be scary.

Speaker 1 Bruh can also be used as an interjection to express a wide range of emotions like surprise, disappointment, or disbelief.

Speaker 1 It can be used to mean seriously in response to something foolish or unexpected. I want to hear all your versions.

Speaker 1 That's it. No, I want to hear you say bruh bruh in all the different versions.
Surprise? Yeah. Bruh.

Speaker 1 Okay. Disappointment? Yeah.
Bruh.

Speaker 1 Disbelief. I feel like disbelief and disappointment are probably the same for me.
Bruh?

Speaker 1 Okay, now you have to do it. Oh, gosh.

Speaker 1 What was the first one? Surprise?

Speaker 1 Bruh.

Speaker 1 That was good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay. Disappointment.

Speaker 1 Bruh. Oh, that one's really good.

Speaker 1 That one's great.

Speaker 1 Okay, disbelief.

Speaker 1 Bruh. Oh, and the eyes, too.
Your eyes got big. Yeah, you really sold that one.

Speaker 1 Okay, this is a great segment. Without further ado, let's get into these stories.
Let's do it. Let's dive in.

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Speaker 1 Also, I don't know if I'm going to be able to say this anywhere during the episode, So, I just wanted to say right now, because you got to do a wedding episode with Justin, obviously, makes sense.

Speaker 1 Well, I just wanted to say that I haven't been on since the wedding, and it was literally phenomenal. And Morgan and Justin know how to throw an amazing party, an amazing celebration.

Speaker 1 It was so, so beautiful and fun celebrating them. It was so good.
It was so good.

Speaker 1 Okay. Thank you.
That was very kind. Of course.

Speaker 1 Getting into this first story, it's coming from Am I the Asshole, 11 days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling a Woman to Charge a Guy More at a Yard Sale?

Speaker 1 I was shopping around our city's yard sales yesterday and stopped to look at some clothes.

Speaker 1 While I was looking, a guy walked up and asked the old lady running the sale if she had anything golf related. My ears perked up because I had just recently gotten into golf.

Speaker 1 The lady said she had her late husband's clubs, but didn't know what they would be worth, so she dragged them out to show the guy.

Speaker 1 It was obvious the guy knew golf by the way he took a couple of practice swings, and you could tell by his car and clothing he appeared to be well off.

Speaker 1 As he looked around the bag, the lady was telling him that her husband had just passed and that she didn't know if the clubs were worth anything.

Speaker 1 He said they weren't that great and offered two hundred dollars for everything.

Speaker 1 She seemed hesitant and said she didn't know, and he just kind of talked over over her and said, Here, I'll go grab the money and walked towards his car. I walked over to see what was in the bag.

Speaker 1 And for anyone who knows golf, I'll throw this out there.

Speaker 1 Almost new GT3 driver and three wood gently used Mizuno irons, nice titleist wedges, a very nice looking Scotty Putter, great condition titleist cart bag. The stuff combined would be a steal at 1K.

Speaker 1 Obviously, this lady's late husband had spent a good penny on the clubs, and I felt bad for her.

Speaker 1 So I told her she should pass on that guy's offer and have someone at a local Course's pro shop help her price the stuff out to sell if she wanted.

Speaker 1 She seemed totally shocked when I told her the driver and the three wood were probably worth $800 alone. When the guy came back, he was glaring at me.

Speaker 1 And when he tried to hand the lady the cash, she said, no thanks, and that she was going to get the stuff appraised.

Speaker 1 He got upset and told her she can't back out of a deal.

Speaker 1 So I chimed in that they didn't really make a deal. He got pissed at me and told me I needed to mind my business.
The lady then told him she wasn't interested and to please leave.

Speaker 1 He walked to the end of the driveway and just stood there, angry like my toddler would. Before he walked away, he called me an asshole and stomped off.
Uh, no, you're the asshole.

Speaker 1 The whole thing was more funny than anything to me.

Speaker 1 I was telling this story to my coworkers today, and they were all dogging on me, saying that I should have just kept my mouth shut and let the guy get the good deal. But it felt wrong.
What assholes?

Speaker 1 I hate everyone. Him rip her off.

Speaker 1 So, am I the asshole here? No.

Speaker 1 What is wrong with the people? The people are ill.

Speaker 1 I swear, we as humanity are sick because the fact that you not only had this guy being a jerk, but then you had people around you in your everyday life making fun of you and saying that you did the wrong thing.

Speaker 1 What's wrong with people? This is, that's literally like elderly abuse. Like, uh, the clubs aren't that good.
Two's 200 bucks. And then, like, you can't back out of the deal.
It's a garage sale.

Speaker 1 Yes, you fucking can. Until the thing is in your car and the person has the cash, you don't have a deal.
Well, even so, it's like, that's, it's a garage sale. Like, it's not that serious.

Speaker 1 I don't know what is going on with people lately. Like, it genuinely feels like we have time lapsed and we're like back 50 years.

Speaker 1 Like, just the way people are so not empathetic towards each other and just like, it's insane. And I'm bewildered.

Speaker 1 I'm like reading this and I'm like, you're going to try to take advantage of an older woman who just lost her husband. Come on.
Yeah. Come Come on.

Speaker 1 Do you have no decency?

Speaker 1 You pond, riddled scumbag.

Speaker 1 Ugh. And the coworkers, too, like dogged.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm like, what do you,

Speaker 1 you would have kept quiet? That just shows how shitty of a human you are. Like, I want to start watching that one hidden camera show again.

Speaker 1 And I forget what it was on, but it was like, would you do the right thing if you were in a certain situation?

Speaker 1 And it would be like an actor actor pretending they were blind, going up to the counter and the cashier would be like, oh, it's $5.

Speaker 1 And the person would hand over a $100 bill and they would be like, oh, a 20. Okay.

Speaker 1 And they'd take the bill and then give them change back and pocket the rest. And then someone would be there watching the whole thing.

Speaker 1 And the test of the hidden camera show would be, would you be a good person if a time called upon you? Would you interject?

Speaker 1 And sometimes people just watch a bad thing happen and then others would stand up to whatever was going on. Yeah.
And that feels like one of these moments. It feels like it's such a simple thing.

Speaker 1 But it's also like you see it. You have integrity.
You're being a good person as everyone should try to be. I do think sometimes those situations can be like really nerve-wracking.

Speaker 1 And so sometimes people want to, but they like have this, they just hold themselves back because they're scared for whatever reason.

Speaker 1 So, I still think the in that the example that you gave, I still think people can be good people, even if they just like

Speaker 1 don't do something.

Speaker 1 But it is extremely admirable when somebody does do something and they do speak up and they push their fear aside and they interject themselves to protect someone who's vulnerable and being taken advantage of.

Speaker 1 And so, I think that it's like this person clearly did the right thing. And, and it's like the guy was clearly such a jerk.
Like,

Speaker 1 for him to be like, they're not that good like that right there you are scheming her you are taking advantage her like that that is that's when you know if he were to just be like oh yeah i've always wanted golf clubs like 200

Speaker 1 and then the guy were to come in and be like hey they're worth a lot more and then the guy's like what the heck buddy like She said she was down for $200.

Speaker 1 And if he genuinely didn't really know, but the fact that he was trying to con her, he said, they're not that good. You wouldn't say that if you didn't know.

Speaker 1 Also, if they're not that good, then why do you want them? Exactly. Why don't you get yourself some nice clubs? You drive a nice car.
You look well off.

Speaker 1 Like, go get some nice clubs then if they're not that good. Because he, because he gets off on being a villain.
He knows.

Speaker 1 I do think like a lot of times it can be easy to like not know what to do in a situation like this too when you like see stuff.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 1 you know, once you get over that flight, fight, freeze, fawn, whatever, like, I feel like a lot of us do step in.

Speaker 1 And there's been a couple things that have happened to me lately where I've like been just like, oh my God, my faith in humanity is like slightly on the upward trend.

Speaker 1 And one of them was like at the airport in Iceland and this older gentleman fell on the escalator and like couldn't get up. And the escalators don't stop.
And it just kept going.

Speaker 1 And like, he's just clunking back. It was just, it was horrible.
But literally like five of us ran, like three people ran up the escalator, got him, like made sure he stopped falling backwards.

Speaker 1 And then me and this other guy like ran to the escalator to hit the emergency stop button. And I was just like, okay, like teamwork, like the way people just like faith in you.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And there was one other, but I'm like, I'm not recalling it right now. But it was something simple like that.
Just like a helping hand. And

Speaker 1 it's goofy, but

Speaker 1 yeah, not the asshole, OP. You did the right thing in this one, and your coworkers are weird, and I'm judging them.
Me too.

Speaker 1 Top comment on this one: I was telling this story to my coworkers today, and they were all dogging on me, saying I should have kept my mouth shut and let this guy get a good deal.

Speaker 1 You work with people who would support a guy ripping off a widow,

Speaker 1 who expressed disappointment that you didn't let it happen. Literally, report them to HR.
Why do you ever speak to these people?

Speaker 1 Are these even people?

Speaker 1 For the love of fuck.

Speaker 1 Let me tell you something. Her husband literally torpedoed back to this world through you to stop that shit from happening.

Speaker 1 Not the asshole. That's sweet.

Speaker 1 This comment has quite a few upvotes. Damned are we the day we mistake our own kindness for weakness? Then the worst of us will have truly won.

Speaker 1 Fuck. I know that like hit.
I was like, oh no.

Speaker 1 Let that sit with you. Poetry.

Speaker 1 Where we mistake our own kindness for weakness.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This person responds: Damned are we indeed. The moment empathy gets treated like a flaw instead of a strength, the whole game's lost.

Speaker 1 Better to take heat for stepping in than to stand by and let someone prey on another's loss.

Speaker 1 Comments just coming in, like hitting you in the feels. No, it's like, it's like tortured toad

Speaker 1 tortured toads.

Speaker 1 It's like tortured poets department.

Speaker 1 Okay. In the comments.
Okay. There you go.

Speaker 1 Uh, overall vote on this one was

Speaker 1 not the asshole. Good.
Thank God. Can you imagine? No.

Speaker 1 I would literally just like get up and leave right now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is time to call it already. Bad off, bad start, bruh.

Speaker 1 Okay, this next one is coming coming from r/slash true off my chest. It is three days old, titled, My husband told me he hated me while we were being intimate.
Oh.

Speaker 1 And now he's acting like it's not a big deal. Hmm.
This is my first Reddit post. It feels wild sharing this online, but I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends or family about it.

Speaker 1 I'm at a loss right now, and I truly do not know how to feel. My husband, 28 male, and I, 28 female, have been married for almost two years.

Speaker 1 Lately, it feels like we've been fighting about everything, both big and small. A few days ago, during an argument, I told him, for the first time, that it felt like he hated me.

Speaker 1 He immediately apologized, comforted me, and said that this wasn't true. He assured me that he loved me and never wanted me to feel that way.

Speaker 1 Later that same night, we went over to our neighbor's house to watch the UFC fights. We both had a few drinks while we were there.
Nothing crazy, though. When we got home, we started being intimate.

Speaker 1 We've always had a playful and good dynamic in that area, and we're comfortable with each other. We both enjoyed some dirty talk with each other and have been doing it for years.

Speaker 1 But this time, something felt different. In the middle of us having sex, he leaned in close and whispered in my ear,

Speaker 1 I hate you.

Speaker 1 I froze, thinking surely I must have misheard him. But then he doubled down and said it again.

Speaker 1 I hate you. I immediately told him to stop.
I don't even think he realized I was so serious until I yelled at him to get off of me.

Speaker 1 I was completely shocked and couldn't even find the words to say to him in that moment. So I just ended up sleeping in the guest room that night.
The next morning, we had plans to go to Costco.

Speaker 1 The car ride was silent and tense until I finally brought it up. I told him how weird and hurtful it was that he said that to me.

Speaker 1 He brushed it off, saying that he was just drunk, that he didn't mean it, and that it was just part of dirty talk. He convinced me that I was overreacting.

Speaker 1 But this wasn't the same as what we've done before, not even close, especially because earlier that very day, I told him it felt like he hated me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he said those exact words during one of our most vulnerable moments. By the time we pulled into the Costco parking lot, I was crying.

Speaker 1 I told him I wasn't going inside, and I just sat in the car trying to process what had happened. I don't know if I'm overreacting, but I can't shake how wrong this feels.

Speaker 1 I keep replaying it in my head, and I just feel embarrassed and ashamed. The whole situation is so bizarre, it doesn't even feel real.

Speaker 1 I'm at a loss for words, too. I, I,

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 that's weird. That's alarming.

Speaker 1 That's definitely, bro.

Speaker 1 Like

Speaker 1 that'd be the last thing anyone would ever want to hear. Unless, I don't know, you have to be really into like negging and like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm sure there's someone that's into it, like out there, but like, not

Speaker 1 when you just asked your partner, like, hey, we are having some problems. Like, do you hate me? It feels like you just despise me.
I don't feel the love.

Speaker 1 And then the very same day, you get hit with, I hate you, while he's inside of you.

Speaker 1 Ugh. Yeah.
And then he doubles down. I hate you.
As you're like sitting there and you're like,

Speaker 1 what?

Speaker 1 What? Did I hear that right? And it's like, yeah, yeah, you heard that right. I hate you.
I don't like you looking at me saying that.

Speaker 1 It's hurting my feelings.

Speaker 1 see what I mean yeah I don't know if anyone would want to hear you saying it so convincingly

Speaker 1 um it's confusing I definitely don't understand it at all and that's why I'm like I'm at a loss for words like we don't I don't know we don't know a lot of detail around the relationship either she says they talk dirty talk like okay

Speaker 1 Was he towing a fine line thinking that this would be fun in games since they had that combo earlier? A part of their little like shtick that they do?

Speaker 1 Or was he just like so blacked out that the words, I hate you, were still in his head that he just repeated them because they were in his head from earlier?

Speaker 1 Like, I just, I, or does he just genuinely hate her? Yeah. And it finally came out.
I think it's something

Speaker 1 he is feeling. I think if OP is kind of like getting the vibe, like right, she already felt it earlier.
She's feeling it.

Speaker 1 And so I think this was like kind of his opportunity. Like, after a few drinks, they're being intimate.
Maybe he tried to slip it under his breath, and he's just like,

Speaker 1 No, I actually hate you.

Speaker 1 And this was his weird way of like being able to say it and get off on that.

Speaker 1 And then just to be like, No, it was dirty talk. Like, it was, it's kind of like that, like, easy out where if she didn't react well, then it's like, well, it was dirty talk.
You're overreacting.

Speaker 1 I didn't mean it like that. I was just trying to be hot.
It's just a very weird decision.

Speaker 1 Very, very weird decision. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We have quite a few comments on this one.

Speaker 1 Top comment. Yeah, that's not dirty talk.
You don't just tell someone you hate them for shits and giggles. I wouldn't let that go.
In fact, it would make me rethink the whole relationship.

Speaker 1 OP does respond to a few of the comments. Good, let's hear it.
Including that one. OP responds and says, it definitely has me rethinking everything.

Speaker 1 OP also says, like, just in response to a lot of people that are like, no, you're not overreacting. Like, this is not normal.
OP is just like, thank you for validating me.

Speaker 1 I felt like I was going insane.

Speaker 1 Someone goes, I hesitate to use this word, but waiting until you are literally in the most physically and emotionally intimate position with someone to say something to them that purposefully preys on a vulnerability is

Speaker 1 trigger warning, like SA, they use the word rapey.

Speaker 1 You are not overreacting. This is concerning.
And OP goes, I didn't want to say anything like that either, but it did make me feel pretty unsafe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which like, yeah, like,

Speaker 1 I mean, depending on the position, like,

Speaker 1 I just don't even want to go. I'm like, this is very vulnerable.
I, yeah. Very vulnerable.

Speaker 1 Well, when you were describing this story, like, I was just, oh, like, yeah, I was just thinking the way that like, I would just just like recoil to, ugh, like, I know.

Speaker 1 Well, and we're like starting to get more insight into their relationship too, based on these two comments.

Speaker 1 So it looks like this might be like kind of a brief edit update in the comments for people. OP says, I see all of your comments and I just want to thank you for the validation.

Speaker 1 This wasn't the first time he's said something insulting just to play it off as some joke.

Speaker 1 I no longer live in the same state as my friends and family and I haven't had the nerve to tell them what's going on.

Speaker 1 Pretending everything is okay while on the phone with my loved ones while these things happen behind closed doors has felt isolating, to say the least.

Speaker 1 I was embarrassed at the thought of getting divorced so soon after marriage, but I know I am not and will not be happy with a man like this. He's draining me.

Speaker 1 Marriage is hard, but I know it's not supposed to be this hard.

Speaker 1 And the last comment I'll read: OP just kind of says he is a a mama's boy through and through. His mom has heard him talk disrespectfully to me to the point of me in tears.

Speaker 1 And when I finally asked her if she was going to say something to him, she just looked at me and said, quote, I don't want to get involved. Oh, gosh.

Speaker 1 So it doesn't seem like this is a good, happy, healthy relationship. And based on that comment,

Speaker 1 the marriage is draining me and it's not, I'm not going to be happy with this person. It seems like OP might be making an exit plan out.
Yeah, well, she should. I mean, she's 28,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 you have so much life to live. Like, this, this guy is not it.

Speaker 1 Like, you, you should, I feel like, I don't know, like, two years into marriage, I feel like you should still be pretty not hating each other. Like, like, that's just, he's crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I will say, if alarm bells are ringing for you, there are resources out there, ways to get out safely, because that can also be the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the person being abused tries to leave.

Speaker 1 So if you are out there and you're dealing with something similar, like please make a safe exit plan. Sometimes that includes just sneaking out.

Speaker 1 Like don't confront them. Take everything you can and go.
Like just make sure you're being safe because a lot of people are being hurt, injured, killed by romantic partners, and it's just

Speaker 1 it shouldn't happen. Yeah, I was just trying to, when you're moving out, definitely have some buddy or multiple people there.
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 We will keep our eyes peeled for an update on this one, but that's all we got right now. It's only three days old,

Speaker 1 so still pretty fresh. But moving on to this next one.
This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Life is all about choices, like choosing what you're going to have for dinner, what show to watch.

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Speaker 1 Talk to a State Farm agent to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.
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Speaker 1 Okay, this next one is

Speaker 1 a doozy.

Speaker 1 A doozy, bro.

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 literally questioned if I should read this one because it just felt so heavy.

Speaker 1 Ugh, it's just, it's not good. But this got sent to me from someone on Instagram.
They're like, Morgan, have you seen this one? And I read it and I just like responded back.

Speaker 1 And I was just like, holy shit. I was like, this is bad.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 So here we go. Okay.

Speaker 1 This is coming from r/slash, am I overreacting? It's two days old, titled, Am I Overreacting? My reply to my mom, who wants to stop my leukemia treatment so my sister can afford university?

Speaker 1 Question mark? Question mark. Oof.
Hello. Using a burner account because I don't want you guys seeing all of my private posts and photos related to my shit situation.
I have leukemia.

Speaker 1 It's been a few months since I started treatment and it's been rough, but I'm still fighting. Yesterday, my mom texted me basically saying she can't afford both my treatment and my sister's future.

Speaker 1 My sister wants to go to Dartmouth. She even quoted a super fucked up Bible verse about sacrifice, John 15, 13, and said that, quote, greater love is laying down one's life for someone else.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Then she said, I should, quote, be practical

Speaker 1 because my condition is worsening and that I should, quote, consider sacrificing myself for my sister's dreams.

Speaker 1 Unbelievable. What really broke me was that she said realistically, she's the one who will choose where the money goes.

Speaker 1 She also mentioned she talked to Jesus about it, and that's why she sent me the message. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 A few months ago, she had me sign a contract about financial stuff, quote, for medical security to repay her when I got better. I low-key thought it was a joke at first, but realized, no, it's not.

Speaker 1 It's fucked up, is what it is. She's always prioritized my sister, but this is unreal.
Am I overreacting? Or is this as fucked up as it feels? This is even more fucked up than it feels.

Speaker 1 This is insanity. So OP does include screenshots of their text messages.
Wow. And when you read the message and like get like the full context of what the mom said, it just like even

Speaker 1 feels worse. So this is all from OP's mom.
First message. My love, I think it's very important to be rational and seriously consider what I brought up.
John 15, 13.

Speaker 1 Greater love has no one than this. To lay down one's life for one's friends.
This also applies to family, my love. Your sister desperately wants to go to Dartmouth.

Speaker 1 I cannot afford your treatment and her future. With the news we received, it's really time to be practical, my love.

Speaker 1 You need to take your time with it, but please understand that I'm not perfect and I'm not prioritizing her over you.

Speaker 1 It's just the reality that you're worsening and there's a high likelihood that continually draining our funds towards this end goal is a fool's errand because there really is nothing more to be done.

Speaker 1 Sacrificing her dreams is something you have to consider. I hope you come around and understand.
Realistically, I'm the one who will choose, but it's vitally important you understand my reasoning.

Speaker 1 Vitally important. Wow.
I would rather have told you this in person, but since you're not answering your phone or home, I spoke to Jesus instead and he told me to write you this.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 that mom needs severe professional help, clearly. That's sickening.
Can you imagine? Talking to your child

Speaker 1 and saying

Speaker 1 you should get realistic and come to terms with the fact that you're going to die. So I'm going to pay for your sister to go to college instead.

Speaker 1 And, you know, it's time to just get realistic, my love it's also so crazy because i don't i feel like i've never heard of it coming from somebody else to stop treatment like it's always the a doctor no not not even that right it's the it's the the person who has

Speaker 1 the cancer like they're i always hear that everyone around them is like no keep trying keep going and then they're like no i don't want to i'm at peace with it i i'm ready and i don't want to live the rest of my life doing treatments.

Speaker 1 So the fact that the mom is the one trying to enforce this, like that's to me is almost unheard of. I'm like, I wish this person wasn't private so we could start a GoFundMe.
Like

Speaker 1 let the world pay for your treatments and forget this shitty family. Your mom should be dead to you.
Like your mom wants you to be dead to her. Is that fucked up to say? Like, that's what it's like.

Speaker 1 No, literally, like your mom would rather stop your treatment to send your sister to Dartmouth. And, like, is that a big accomplishment for your sister? Yeah, hey, cool.

Speaker 1 Dartmouth sounds like a good school. Cool.
But does your sister need to go to Dartmouth? No.

Speaker 1 Like, where does your sister stand in all this? Is she an entitled brat who's like, yeah, fuck it. I want to go to Dartmouth.
I don't care if my sister dies. Like, where is she in all of this?

Speaker 1 It's giving Golden Child and Scapegoat. And we do get some replies from OP to mom that were also included in these screenshots.
OP says, is this why you had me update my life insurance policy?

Speaker 1 Is this why you've been pushing scheduling my follow-ups? I'm not gone. I have dreams.
I have goals. I'm only one year older than Michaela.
Why is she a priority over me? I can still beat this.

Speaker 1 I just don't understand why you're all giving up. I've only been in treatment for a few months.

Speaker 1 I can win and I'll spend the rest of my life paying you back like I promised and agreed to with the contract you had me sign. I just don't fucking understand this.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to fucking smile and say, okay, yeah, kill me for my sister. Literally.

Speaker 1 This is horrendous. It's horrendous.
OP, if you are out there listening, seriously, fuck your family. Create a GoFundMe.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Put the screenshots on the GoFundMe. Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Seriously. This is insane.
Like, and then tag your mom. Insane.
Like, this woman needs to be publicly shamed. Yeah.
Like, genuinely. I think that's what Jesus would want.

Speaker 1 I just spoke with him just now. This just in.
He said he would like for the mother to be publicly shamed. Sorry.
I didn't make the rules. He did.

Speaker 1 I just like, it's so crazy because I don't know. Like,

Speaker 1 it's so insane to me when people are like, oh, in the name of Jesus, and they do all this shit. And it's like,

Speaker 1 Jesus would not stand for this.

Speaker 1 Like, if Jesus came back today, and like, all of the people that believe in Jesus, like, if he came back today and saw what was going on in his name, he'd be pretty fucking pissed, I would think.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Jesus would throw hands. I agree.
Like,

Speaker 1 come on.

Speaker 1 It's just, it's fucking crazy to me. But I really, I really, really, really like

Speaker 1 there's resources out there. Like, OP,

Speaker 1 I believe, is 19

Speaker 1 is what I'm gathering based on some comments. I have to go to the account quick, but I, oh,

Speaker 1 account has been banned. OP does respond to a couple that I can see in

Speaker 1 the thread. So top comment, what the fuck? How old are you, by the way? OP responds, I'm 19.
Wow. Next comment down,

Speaker 1 I've beat leukemia. Fucking smash it.

Speaker 1 OP responds, sorry, I fell asleep, but I wanted to say you're amazing. Thank you for the much needed inspo.
Next comment down, don't let your mother claim you as a dependent on her taxes anymore.

Speaker 1 You will be eligible for all kinds of assistance if you aren't claimed as a dependent on anyone's taxes.

Speaker 1 Yes. Next comment down, sweetie, please talk to a social worker at the hospital and see about continued care.
I really think you need an advocate.

Speaker 1 This, there are other ways, and you are still a teenager. Heck, there are also other ways to pay for college for your sister.
Good lord, you aren't overreacting. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like a lot of people are just like, OP needs to get their own insurance and the mother can go fuck themselves over the money chokehold.

Speaker 1 Someone else goes, because of the Affordable Care Act, your mom can continue to cover you on her health insurance until the last day of the month that you turn 26.

Speaker 1 You can call your health insurance company, customer service on the back of your card, and explain the situation to them. Advise that you want the account password protected.

Speaker 1 Since you are 19, they shouldn't be discussing your claims in detail anyways without your permission.

Speaker 1 However, just to put more guardrails in place, I would definitely call and ask them to put a password on the account. Anyone who calls will need that password.

Speaker 1 I would also apply for Medicaid and disability as well. I'm so sorry your mom is so shitty.
I would never do this to my child.

Speaker 1 Just kind of talking about how unbelievably selfish both mom and sister are. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm really curious where sister is in all of this. Like, does she know? Is she like selfishly okay with it?

Speaker 1 Insane, but it's really sad. You got this.
Like, I read this and I'm like,

Speaker 1 I had no words. I'm like, what? A parent? Like, what?

Speaker 1 You would say that to your child and just like write them off when they're not even gone? Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's heartbreaking. I mean, even like when my grandpa passed away, my mom was like fighting

Speaker 1 with like her family and the doctors to like keep trying.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know, and he was in his 80s. It's like, but my mom was like, no, like he has more, like, he has more life in him.

Speaker 1 Like, and she, you know, it's just wild to think that like you could give birth and raise a 19-year-old and then say, hmm,

Speaker 1 that's enough. That's enough now.
Like, how? How could you just,

Speaker 1 how could you give up? It's beyond cruel.

Speaker 1 It makes me think that she's probably diagnosable. Absolutely.
Yeah. Like, I don't think any normal loving.
parent would act like that. No.

Speaker 1 I'm very concerned, especially with OP mentioning life insurance policy. Like, is this why you had me update my life insurance policy?

Speaker 1 I would make sure your mom and sister are not the beneficiaries of that policy. I feel like you need to do that immediately right now.

Speaker 1 I don't know, like, if there's other family you want to leave it to, but like anyone else, a stranger, I would them. I would literally leave it to charity over my family that's trying to kill me.

Speaker 1 A hundred percent.

Speaker 1 And I would also be really, really

Speaker 1 making sure that your like bases are covered in terms of like your medical decision making.

Speaker 1 Like you can fill out with your hospital or just like put it on file, but your like power of attorney and your like advanced directives and make sure that your wishes in regards to your care are clearly documented and it is legally binding.

Speaker 1 And like, then your mom can't come in and be like, yep, pull the plug, pull the plug, we're done.

Speaker 1 Like make sure someone else, if you need it, is responsible for your decisions that is not your mom or sister. Yeah.
Like, and I think that goes for a lot of us out there.

Speaker 1 Like, that's something that we had to do when we got, well, when I got hired at a hospital, like they encouraged us to fill out our forms and like make sure that our wishes are very known.

Speaker 1 And I did a will recently and I had to do that as well. Like, how long do I want to be kept on life support? Like, do I want this? Do I want that? And so I did that.

Speaker 1 And like, you pick who you want making decisions for you. And so if you're not married, but you've been with your partner for like 10 years,

Speaker 1 you should fill out that form because otherwise, if you go in, your partner has no decision making. It's your parents.
It's your next of kin, which for a lot of people can be horrifying. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Especially if you're like a part of the LGBTQ. I was just thinking that like I've heard some really horrific stories because of that.
Yeah. So download the form.

Speaker 1 You can literally download them online. All you have to do is get them notarized.
It's a legal document and make sure that you're just covered in case you need it. It's better to be safe than sorry.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 no update on this one.

Speaker 1 Again, we're going to have to keep our eyes peeled, but moving along. This episode is brought to you by Ollie.
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This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Speaker 1 This episode of Two Hot Takes is brought to you by Wayfair. This is not your first rodeo.

Speaker 1 After all of the wild and somewhat uncomfortable stories we read on this show, one thing's for sure: life can be unhinged. That's why your home should be your calm, comfy, happy place.

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Wayfair, every style, every home.

Speaker 1 Shall I lighten the mood a little bit?

Speaker 1 You don't have to.

Speaker 1 I feel like I I sounded like a harmonica. Yeah, that was pretty, actually.
I liked that.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Can't do it again.
No, no, it's not the same. Can't do it again.
Okay, this next one is coming from our very own Too Hot Takes subreddit. It's two days old.

Speaker 1 It is titled, My Boyfriend Keeps a Secret Strike System for Me. And I found it by accident.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine how many strikes I have.

Speaker 1 I'm 28 female, and my boyfriend, 30 male, left his phone on the couch while he showered. A notification popped up from notes.
I opened it, thinking it was a grocery list.

Speaker 1 It was a document titled Girlfriend Strikes. He literally tracks my offenses with dates and points.

Speaker 1 Being late to his mom's dinner, one point.

Speaker 1 Not laughing at his joke. 0.5 point.

Speaker 1 Buying myself flowers, Quote, attention seeking. Wow.
One point.

Speaker 1 At 10 points, he wrote, serious talk.

Speaker 1 And at 15 points, reconsider relationship.

Speaker 1 Wait.

Speaker 1 Wow. Okay.

Speaker 1 Hmm. I confronted him and he said, it's just a system to keep things fair because I'm emotional and forget what I do.
I felt sick, like I was an employee on probation, not a partner.

Speaker 1 I packed a bag and stayed at my sister's last night. Now he is spamming me that I violated his privacy and proved his point.
Good, bye.

Speaker 1 Is this breakup material? 100 million percent. Or am I overreacting? No, that's like.

Speaker 1 The only way I would say that that's not breakup material is if he came back and was like, oh my, like some like Ross excuse from friends where he's like, no, no, no, no, no, like my friends were like telling me like that it's a fun, funny way to blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 It wasn't that serious. Of course, I would never do that.
Like,

Speaker 1 that's the only way I could say, like, no, you could consider it, maybe,

Speaker 1 but no, you, like, you got to say goodbye immediately.

Speaker 1 Proving this proves my point. Like, respect my privacy.
Like, I will. Far, far, far away.
I'll respect your privacy forever. Bye.

Speaker 1 Bye, bye, bye. Bye.
You're a freak. Well, and it's just like, it's not even

Speaker 1 like the things he's giving her points for is comical. Late to my mommy's dinner.
I know. One point.
I know. Didn't laugh at my joke.
Point five. Unbelievable.
Bought herself flowers.

Speaker 1 On that attention-seeking whore. Yeah, no, one point.
There's something severely wrong with you. That's actually insane.

Speaker 1 It's not like, oh,

Speaker 1 said she was going to arrive at 7 p.m. and then didn't show up until 1 a.m.
and didn't call me and I was worried like or like oh like she hooked up with my best friend one point

Speaker 1 like then I would be like yeah no I get it if like you need to like for your own sanity kind of put it down and be like all right like I need to remember why like I need to question this relationship she hooked up with my friend like if that's if you need to write that out like whatever yeah but like this is crazy it is and I I've heard of girls doing this too I've like like, I feel like I've seen a video from an influencer who like really talked about having an ick list for the guy, guys they're dating or something like that.

Speaker 1 I don't know, like, even that, I'm just like, I don't think that's, I don't think like it's conducive to having a healthy relationship.

Speaker 1 It's like you're keeping score versus communicating openly with that person. Like this point where it's like being late to his mom's dinner, that

Speaker 1 impacted him. He didn't like that.
If you would have been like, hey, I, I, you know, next time we say five, I'd really appreciate it if you would show up at five.

Speaker 1 You know, it's just really important to me that we're punctual for these things or just like communicate, like, let me know you're running late.

Speaker 1 That's way better than keeping a score that the other person doesn't even know about. Yeah.
You're not giving them a chance to address it. You're not working on your relationship.

Speaker 1 You're not making it stronger.

Speaker 1 So you're only hurting yourself with this imaginary like score sheet. You might as well just like leave.

Speaker 1 I don't know why you're making doodles, like just end the relationship if that's how you're feeling about it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like, I'm also just putting together two.

Speaker 1 So she said, I'm going to pack a bag and leave. Does that mean that they live together? Seems that way.

Speaker 1 So, and that, that is even like wild, even more wild to me, because if it were to be in the beginning where it's like they've only been dating for like a couple of months and kind of like what you said, like creating this like a quote-unquote fake list, then like maybe I would understand more because he's maybe he's just fallen into relationships way too fast and like and then it ends up spiraling by all these little things.

Speaker 1 So he's told himself that he's gonna like keep track like in the beginning of relationship to make sure that he just doesn't like dive in.

Speaker 1 That would make more sense to me. The fact that it sounds like they're serious is like

Speaker 1 and his issues are her buying herself flowers. Like, how that's a diss on you.
Yeah, like she should be negative two points because I'm a shitty boyfriend and I didn't buy her flowers.

Speaker 1 It's like, how, how insecure and pathetic are you to say that it's a negative for a girl to buy herself flowers? Like, that

Speaker 1 attention. I don't know what the word is for it, but it's like a certain type of like

Speaker 1 guy

Speaker 1 that thinks that way. And I don't know, know, I can't think of the word, but it's one that I don't like.
I know that.

Speaker 1 Very insightful, I know. Okay, let's move on.

Speaker 1 Top comment on this one. No, that's messed up.
Tell him his list equals 15 strike points and you're reconsidering the relationship. Then break up with him.
What a weirdo.

Speaker 1 Next comment, perfect. Start a physical list.
Make him watch you write made weird list, negative 15 points, and then leave his ass

Speaker 1 on a whiteboard.

Speaker 1 I would make it official. Yeah, absolutely.
This comment also agrees. You could use a whiteboard, or as this person says, make it official.

Speaker 1 Use company letterhead, stamp it effective immediately, and CCHR, aka your best friend.

Speaker 1 Like send a termination letter, essentially.

Speaker 1 No other comments from OP,

Speaker 1 no updates.

Speaker 1 That's all I got.

Speaker 1 Goodbye. Goodbye.
Bye, Felicia.

Speaker 1 GMAN.

Speaker 1 Wait, what is that from? Manda Bines. Yeah, she's the man.
I love that movie. I love her in that movie so much.
She's, it's so good. That's one of my favorite movies.
Truly. It's so good.

Speaker 1 I wish they made more like just happy, funny, cute rom-coms. Like, where have the rom-coms gone? Yeah.
And quit marketing me a rom-com when it's not a rom-com.

Speaker 1 Like they're taking advantage of me by making videos of the best, cutest clips from a show or movie. And then you watch it and it sucks.

Speaker 1 Sucks. I'm sorry.
I'm trying to think of what I've watched recently that would be fun for you to watch. I'll have to send you a list because, like, I'm pretty, I know my rom-coms pretty well.

Speaker 1 I'm ready for a good book, too. Okay.
I just read, well, not just, it was like two months ago.

Speaker 1 The new Hunger Games book from Haymitch's version. I love it.
You said that was amazing. Loved it, but I'm really into like shapeshifter romance smut.

Speaker 1 Then, why don't you like, why don't you read Akatar then? Well, do you have the book? Yeah. Okay.
I'll call them. I can bring him over.

Speaker 1 Um, I also, Kennedy just finished, uh, I think it's called Plated Prisoner. Okay.
And she's like, I'll never be the same.

Speaker 1 She was like broken after finishing it because of how much she loves it. Damn.
Yeah. So

Speaker 1 that could be a potential too. Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, well,

Speaker 1 let's move on to this next thing. Okay.

Speaker 1 It is time for a very special segment. This is new.

Speaker 1 Very new. This is the first time we're ever doing it.
Thanks to our friends at D-pop.

Speaker 1 This is called the full circle moment. Just like Depop keeps fashion moving in circles, we are diving into a juicy, crazy story with an unexpected twist.
It came a little full circle, if you will.

Speaker 1 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 1 So this is

Speaker 1 coming from a user titled, May Not Be a Lawyer for Long.

Speaker 1 And the original post is titled, Today I messed up by accidentally becoming my client's wife's boyfriend.

Speaker 1 This happened a couple months back, but I saw saw a skit online that was scarily similar to what happened to me in real life. For context, I'm a divorce attorney.

Speaker 1 Been practicing for about eight years now, mostly family law stuff, generally pretty routine work. People want to untangle their lives.
I help them do it legally. Everyone moves on.

Speaker 1 Let's flash back to last March. I took on what seemed like a straightforward dissolution case.

Speaker 1 Client, I'll call Dave, nice enough guy, been separated from his wife for over a year, just wanted to make it official.

Speaker 1 Nothing complicated, decent retainer, figured we'd have it wrapped up in a few months. Dave seemed reasonable, not one of those vindictive types trying to burn everything down out of spite.

Speaker 1 Around the same time, I'd been seeing this woman, Sarah, for a couple of months. I met her at a coffee shop near my office, really hit it off.
She mentioned going through a divorce, but I didn't pry.

Speaker 1 Not exactly first date conversation, you know. She had a different last name from what was in my clients' files.
So when I ran my conflict checks, nothing flagged.

Speaker 1 Everything was going great with Sarah. Really great, actually.

Speaker 1 We were taking things slow, but it was heading in a good direction until we scheduled the first four-way settlement meeting.

Speaker 1 I walk into the conference room with Dave, chatting about keeping things amicable, and there's Sarah sitting across the table with her attorney. So brutal.
Did Sarah do this on purpose?

Speaker 1 I literally just stopped mid-sentence. My briefcase slipped right out of my hands and hit the floor with this loud thud.
Sarah went completely white.

Speaker 1 Dave looked back and forth between us for what felt like an eternity, and I could see the exact moment it clicked for him. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Quote, are you fucking serious right now? Oh my God. He said, not shouting, but definitely not pleased.
Sarah started tearing up. Her lawyer looked like he wanted to crawl under the table.

Speaker 1 I'm standing there feeling like the biggest moron in legal history. I had to immediately excuse myself with Dave.
Guy was understandably pissed, started grilling me. How long had this been going on?

Speaker 1 Did I know who she was? Was this some kind of setup to screw him over? I'm trying to explain that I'd been dating his wife for a couple of months without having any clue who she was.

Speaker 1 He didn't buy it at first. I mean, how could you not buy it? You saw their faces go white.

Speaker 1 You know, like, I feel like the reaction was pretty genuine.

Speaker 1 Quote, what kind of lawyer doesn't ask basic questions? He keeps saying. I had to pull out my intake notes to prove the name thing.

Speaker 1 I show him how the conflict check works, basically convince an angry client that I'm incompetent rather than malicious.

Speaker 1 Oh, poor OP.

Speaker 1 Took about 20 minutes before he finally believed it was just spectacularly bad luck. Even then, he's shaking his head, muttering about how fucked up this whole situation is.

Speaker 1 I explained that I'd have to withdraw withdraw from his case and help him find new counsel. There's no getting around it.
I've got a personal relationship with the opposing party,

Speaker 1 which makes it impossible for me to represent him properly. 100%.
Yeah. By the end, he'd calmed down enough to say, quote, this is the weirdest goddamn thing that's ever happened to me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Still wasn't happy about starting over with a new lawyer, but he understood why it had to happen.

Speaker 1 The paperwork was a nightmare. Had to file a motion motion to withdraw since we were already in litigation, transfer all his files, deal with refunding unused fees.

Speaker 1 Sarah and I didn't speak for two weeks after that meeting. We were both mortified.
Her attorney spent forever trying to convince himself this wasn't some elaborate scheme.

Speaker 1 Even though nobody intended for this to happen, it was still my screw-up. Should have had better procedures to catch conflicts like this.
Doesn't matter that it was an accident.

Speaker 1 You mess up the conflict check, you deal with the consequences. Dave texted me a few weeks later, but it wasn't friendly.
More like, quote, hope you realize this completely fucked up my timeline.

Speaker 1 Can't say I blame him.

Speaker 1 And just to add insult to injury, my malpractice insurance premium went up when I reported the conflict. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, at least you didn't get

Speaker 1 sued or kicked out or anything. Just barred.
Yeah. I know.
Top comment on the post is: I've been practicing over 10 years. You're not incompetent.

Speaker 1 And based on Dave's text to you, I think it's a good thing you had to withdraw. Yeah.
Kind of makes sense. Sarah's divorcing him because he sounds like an asshole.
Yeah. So yeah, incompetent?

Speaker 1 Nah, you're a good lawyer. Embarrassed? Yeah.
This one's not going to be funny for a while. I think it's hilarious right now.

Speaker 1 It's like, I also, I mean, out of all the mistakes you could make as a a lawyer, like this one doesn't feel that deep. I mean,

Speaker 1 he didn't do a thorough enough background check on the girl that he's dating. Like, I,

Speaker 1 I kind of like that because if he did, it would make OP kind of seem creepy. Right.
Like, he, he did what he's supposed to do. He just didn't go the extra layer.

Speaker 1 Also, there's so many Sarahs out there. There's so many Morgans or Megan's or Laurens out there.
Like, if she's going by

Speaker 1 a

Speaker 1 different name

Speaker 1 that the husband didn't provide, because like when he's doing the intake papers to get this lawyer, he's probably like, Oh, this is my wife's name, these are potential aliases she could go by, aka like if you got married and you became Lauren Johnson, that person would put down, oh, well, she could be going by Lauren Rolfe,

Speaker 1 but if she's not going by, you know, Sarah maiden name, she could be going by Sarah Snuffeluffagus.

Speaker 1 And the guy didn't know that. Then it's like, it's not on OP

Speaker 1 for not like prying this random Sarah that he met in a coffee shop. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's your last name? And what are some other last names you could go by? And what's some nicknames you might have? Just got to check for work. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like someone would be creeped out. Right.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. But okay, speaking of rom-coms, like, this is the type of stuff I'm talking about.
Come on, someone make this movie. Sounds really cute.
It does sound cute, but but, but, no, buts.

Speaker 1 We do get an update. Okay,

Speaker 1 Sarah and him are together. Fingers crossed.
Does it come that full circle?

Speaker 1 I hope so.

Speaker 1 So it's been about seven months since the conference room incident, and people have been asking what happened. Short answer, it's been a mess.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 About three weeks after I withdrew from Dave's case, I got called into a meeting with the senior partners.

Speaker 1 Three partners, our firm's general counsel, and a rep from our malpractice carrier on video call. The managing partner slides a folder across the table.

Speaker 1 Quote: Opposing counsel reported a conflict of interest issued to the state bar under Rule 8.3. We've been notified of a disciplinary inquiry.

Speaker 1 Fuck. Wait, opposing counsel meaning that Sarah did that?

Speaker 1 Sarah's lawyer.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, no. OP says here, Dave's new attorney filed the report.
They don't get to decide what happens. They just report potential violations and the bar takes it from there.
I have to explain everything.

Speaker 1 How I met Sarah, how we'd been casually dating for a couple of months, how she used a different name socially, how my conflict check on her legal name didn't flag anything because I never connected the dots.

Speaker 1 The general counsel is taking notes, walk me through your conflict check process. I explain the intake procedures, how the system works, how Sarah's legal surname didn't match what she had told me.

Speaker 1 It sounds worse when I say it out loud. Quote, there is a clear Model Rule 1.7A2 issue, material limitation conflict, the general counsel says.

Speaker 1 You were correct to withdraw under rule 1.16, but we need to understand how this wasn't caught earlier. The malpractice carrier rep unmutes.

Speaker 1 We'll need to document this as a circumstance that could lead to a claim. It'll be noted when your policy comes up for renewal.
Great.

Speaker 1 The firm mandates that I complete an eight-hour CLE on conflicts of interest before taking on any new clients. They've already registered me for a seminar that Saturday, 8 a.m., of course.

Speaker 1 I show up at a hotel conference room with about 20 other attorneys. One of the instructors is Patricia, a divorce attorney I've opposed a few times.

Speaker 1 She definitely knows why I'm there based on the look she gave me. Patricia.
Part of the morning is standard material, rules, case law, procedures.

Speaker 1 Then we get to case studies, and Patricia brings up In Re Johnson, a 2019 disciplinary matter. Attorney.

Speaker 1 Representing a divorce client starts dating someone, turns out to be the opposing party, discovers it at a settlement conference. Same exact situation as mine from six years ago in a different state.

Speaker 1 And I wanted to sink through the floor. At lunch, another attorney mentions he heard about something similar happening at a firm in town recently.

Speaker 1 Doesn't know it's me, but clearly the story's getting around.

Speaker 1 I finish the seminar, pass the exam, bring the certificate back to the firm. A few weeks later, the bar sends a letter.

Speaker 1 The inquiry is closed with a private citation, basically a warning that stays in their files, but isn't public discipline. Could have been worse.
That's good.

Speaker 1 My malpractice premium went up about 15% when it renewed in September. The carrier cited the reported disciplinary circumstance in the renewal letter.

Speaker 1 The firm implemented some new procedures for me specifically. For the next six months, I have to get conflicts pre-cleared by general counsel before taking on any new client.

Speaker 1 They also added mandatory aka slash nickname fields to our intake forms and conflict check system.

Speaker 1 Seems like that should have been in there before, but okay.

Speaker 1 The worst part isn't the official stuff, though. It's the people that know.
Not everyone, but enough. I've been called the coffee shop lawyer twice at bar events.
Who cares?

Speaker 1 Last month, opposing counsel asked if I'd met the other party before with this look on her face. The story's definitely circulating.
Some versions have me engaged to Sarah.

Speaker 1 One has me not finding out until trial. It's becoming one of those cautionary tales people tell each other.
Haven't dated anyone since March. Deleted the apps.

Speaker 1 Before I did, I matched with someone who mentioned her divorce, and I immediately asked who her lawyer was. She unmatched pretty quickly.

Speaker 1 Can't really blame her. Dave, if you see this, I'm sorry, man.
I really didn't know. I hope things worked out okay for you.
Sarah, I hope you're doing well.

Speaker 1 Everyone else, just ask the basic questions. Run proper conflict checks.
Verify akas.

Speaker 1 It's not worth it.

Speaker 1 I mean, this is probably just because I'm not a lawyer and not in this field, but I'm like, it really doesn't seem like it should be that deep. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal.
Like

Speaker 1 they realized before anything had really been litigated. Yeah, I mean, like, it wasn't like OP sat there and like got Sarah the house.
Exactly. It was like slimy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was just like a true accident. Right.
I also feel like, I don't know, I'm nosy and maybe this is like not common practice.

Speaker 1 But if I was a lawyer taking on a divorce case, I'd be like, oh, can I see a picture of you two? Like, as I took on the client, just be like, I want a face for the name. Like, do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Do they include pictures in their files? I feel that way too.
I feel that way about guys in general. Like, I'm always like, give me the tea, give me the details, show me a photo.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, I don't know. I don't know.
I didn't ask. And I'm like, oh,

Speaker 1 ask, ask the questions. We need to know.
I know. It's like, oh, that meme where it's like a guy's talking to his girlfriend.
He's like, oh, oh yeah

Speaker 1 Jared broke up with Whitney and then the girlfriend's like why what happened? I don't know. I don't know

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Well, when they break up I don't know were they having problems? I don't know Well, what do you do after? I don't know. It's like wait, I need are you not friends?

Speaker 1 I need to send you a video.

Speaker 1 There's this one where this guy has note cards and he's like, he's like, when I, what my girlfriend sends me with when I hang out with my buddy who just went through a breakup.

Speaker 1 And he's like, was cheating involved? If yes, go to next card. If no,

Speaker 1 like, it's so good. But I seriously, I didn't realize this is like a universal thing, but I just,

Speaker 1 I, yeah, it just,

Speaker 1 it seems to be that a lot of guys don't ask the deets. I'm like really trying to train Justin to ask.
way more questions.

Speaker 1 Like even one of his like best friends got engaged and I was like, how did you it?

Speaker 1 I don't know. In New York, and I'm like, What, where? Yeah.
And then, like, they're now planning their wedding. I'm like, have they decided on a venue? What do they do?

Speaker 1 And he's like, I don't really know. I'm like, you work with him literally every day.
Yeah. What do you guys talk about? Yeah.
What do you talk about? Nothing. I'm like, ask the questions.

Speaker 1 They talk about sports. I know.
Music and nothing else.

Speaker 1 Crazy. Back to this one, though.
I would like for OP and and Sarah to get reconnected. I want them to come back full circle, but at least OP

Speaker 1 got a second chance at being a lawyer still. Like, it

Speaker 1 wasn't fired from the firm and disbarred. Thank God.
Thank God.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think OP sounds like a really sweet person, and

Speaker 1 you guys should make the stories come true and get engaged. Give me the rom-com.
Yeah. I would like.
Yeah. Thank you.
That's all I got for this full circle moment brought to us all by Depop.

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Speaker 1 I was watching a rom-com, actually.

Speaker 1 One of the best movies I've seen in a while. The Fall Guy.
Is that the name of it? Yeah. I haven't watched.

Speaker 1 I watched that in the theaters, so I need to re-watch that because now I've forgotten it. It's with Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt.

Speaker 1 Gave me a whole new appreciation for stunt people. Yeah.
I loved it. Yeah.
But in the movie, Emily Blunt is wearing this like super, super cool Carhartt jacket. Couldn't find it anywhere.

Speaker 1 There was one Depop listing and I was able to snatch it. So Depop secured me the jacket.
Very good. I love it.
It's so good.

Speaker 1 But I just love that you can do that and like just find everything that you like want. And that's awesome.
A little Depop plug there.

Speaker 1 Before we move along here to our next one, which do we want to stay on a lighter side or do we want to bam

Speaker 1 hit it where it hurts?

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 I was really trying to like Wednesday Adams this. Okay.
But at the same time, that last story was like so cute and fun that I'm, I'm, you pick. Down for either.

Speaker 1 I hate picking. Hmm.
I'll jump to this one first.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Good. Coming from our very own Tuhati subreddit, six days old.
Titled, My Husband and My Sister Have Become Way Too Close. Uh-oh.
And I don't know what to think anymore.

Speaker 1 Wait, is this the light one or the dark one? You're not gonna tell me. I'm not gonna tell you.
We shall see. I'm 27, and I've been married to my husband, who's 30, for two years.

Speaker 1 Things were good between us until my younger sister, who's 24, started spending more time at our place. At first, I was happy to have her around.

Speaker 1 It made our home feel warmer, but now something feels wrong. They talk all the time.
They text late at night and share jokes I don't understand.

Speaker 1 Sometimes when we go out, they walk ahead together, laughing while I trail behind. No.

Speaker 1 It feels like I'm watching my own husband forget I exist. Oh, no.
I tried to talk to him about it once. He told me I was being jealous and dramatic.
Oh, no. Big red flag.

Speaker 1 My sister said the same thing, that I was reading too much into things,

Speaker 1 but I can't shake this feeling. It's like they have a secret world that doesn't include me.
The moment that broke me was when I saw my sister wearing his hoodie.

Speaker 1 She laughed when I asked about it and said, quote, he told me I could borrow it. I smiled on the outside, but inside, I felt something snap.

Speaker 1 I don't know if they've crossed any real lines, but emotionally, it feels like I've already lost them both. My heart keeps asking if I'm imagining it, or if this is how betrayal actually begins.

Speaker 1 The latter. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 Wearing his hoodie.

Speaker 1 I mean, that wouldn't be that weird without the rest of the context. But you would go to like your sister and be like, yes,

Speaker 1 that's a big hoodie of John's I can borrow. Right, exactly.
Like, if you'd come to me. If you were at my house and you were cold, you'd come come to me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, you wouldn't just be like, oh, can I have a sweatshirt?

Speaker 1 Definitely.

Speaker 1 It's so wild to me, too, because, like, I feel,

Speaker 1 even though I feel like I'm friends with my friends' partners, I also am mindful about when we are communicating without my friend being there.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't, I don't really like to text too often to any of my friends' partners.

Speaker 1 Just like out of just respect, I can go through my friend.

Speaker 1 Like there's little things like here and there that I'll text like my friend's partner, but like we don't need to like have all these inside jokes together.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine how OP feels because this isn't normal. Like this is not respectful.
This is definitely a red flag. And the fact that they both are like gaslighting you and calling you crazy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's uh

Speaker 1 yeah, that's it's even more reason to be concerned because it's it's like they're getting defensive versus taking my feelings into consideration and taking a step back and being like, oh, I could see how I'm crossing lines.

Speaker 1 I won't be so touchy feely. I'll try to include you.
I see how you could be feeling. It's no, you're crazy.
You're insecure. You're jealous.
Yeah. Do I have a reason to be jealous of my sister?

Speaker 1 Like to me, jealousy almost implies

Speaker 1 romance. Like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just, there's something about that word and the way he used jealousy for me, where it feels like romantically

Speaker 1 tinged.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, it is, it is interesting.

Speaker 1 I, am I misusing the word jealousy?

Speaker 1 I guess it can be not unrelated to romance. Yeah, no, definitely not.
Not, I mean, it's a widespread feeling.

Speaker 1 Yeah, jealousy includes more emotions than I

Speaker 1 initially thought.

Speaker 1 Anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness, or disgust.

Speaker 1 Insecurity, fear, and concern over a relative lack of possessions or safety. So jealousy, that fits.
It does fit. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 No, it's just so interesting to me because like if somebody told me that they were feeling uncomfortable with my relationship with their partner, I would like be, I would like never talk to their partner again.

Speaker 1 You would just like you'd be really respectful and I think a lot of us no I'd like block their partner and I'd be like I'd never want to make you feel that way They're blocked.

Speaker 1 I'll never talk to them again

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Um, so it's just like the fact that she's like doubling down and she's like I'm wearing his sweatshirt.
The

Speaker 1 kick her out. Why is she there? Yeah, don't invite her over as much.
Also, it's almost like showing your husband's true colors. So it's like

Speaker 1 you almost want there to be enough of a reason to leave him rather than just having this like hunch. Yeah, that's true too.
And then being like questioned him for years and years on end.

Speaker 1 And I hate going through someone's phone, but do it.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 1 but there's got to be something fishy on there between the two of them. They're either shit talking you or they're fucking each other.
I mean, it doesn't even both of them aren't good.

Speaker 1 Maybe they're not, but like, even if they're not, they're still way too close for comfort.

Speaker 1 And that in itself, when you're expressing that you don't feel comfortable and they're not changing anything, that's disrespect from both, from both people. That's festival.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and that's the bottom line. Yeah, exactly.
So it's like, even if they're not doing anything, it's still just like disrespectful from like two of the people that you love the most.

Speaker 1 Like they should,

Speaker 1 if they genuinely think that it's in your head or something, they still should be like, hey, there's nothing going on, but to respect what you're feeling, we're going to not communicate.

Speaker 1 Like we're going to like keep some distance, but like, we hope that we can all have fun again and like we can all be like whatever. I don't know.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Just like something, like at least to show that you're respecting.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's, it's the thing because it's not like they're all like, if they're all BFFs from like grade school, yeah. And then grew up together, the relationship has always been there.

Speaker 1 But like, this is your sister. Like

Speaker 1 something. The sister needs to respect you, respect your relationship.
Like, you know, something's up for sure.

Speaker 1 And I guess like you, I mean, you make such solid points. If you're uncomfortable and your partner, your husband isn't respecting your feelings, that's the core issue.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Like, you're trying to talk about your feelings, and your feelings are valid, seemingly justified here, but he doesn't care. He's trying to brush it off.
He's getting defensive.

Speaker 1 He's pointing the blame back onto you. That's your real problem.
Exactly. Top comment: intra-family affairs are not as uncommon as people think.
OP, trust your insights, gather more evidence. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Next comment, your gut is usually right about this stuff. The hoodie thing, especially, would have made me lose it.
That's crossing a line whether they realize it or not.

Speaker 1 Start documenting the weird behavior and maybe set some boundaries about the late night texting. Next comment down, intuition.
It's part of you for a reason. Self-preservation.

Speaker 1 These two are getting ready to blow up your marriage and your life. Keep quiet, gather evidence, and stay two steps ahead of this.
You can cry, scream, and have a breakdown later. I don't know.
Like,

Speaker 1 I think something fishy is going on. A lot of people are like,

Speaker 1 check their phones and devices, perhaps secretly install audio or video devices, follow your gut instincts. Like people really do jump off the rails here and go to the same conclusion.

Speaker 1 A lot of us are going to.

Speaker 1 But I do think, like, if you get to that point where you're installing secret cameras, oh, and never mind. Sorry, I thought you were saying something else.
If you're, what did you say?

Speaker 1 I thought you were going to say, like, instilling like a

Speaker 1 blank emotion. Yeah, no, but just like if you're going to those lengths and installing a camera secretly to try to catch them,

Speaker 1 your relationship is like, you're really in the gutter already. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But no comments from OP, no update yet. Oh,

Speaker 1 I totally thought you were going to give me updates on this one.

Speaker 1 I got nothing. Morgan, make one up right now.

Speaker 1 We should do that for an episode.

Speaker 1 For stories that don't have updates, we're just going to make them up. Yes.
Oh, my God. That would actually be fun.
We could each like write one and then have the other person read it. Okay.

Speaker 1 I like that. Yeah.
Okay. That'll be fun.
Okay.

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Speaker 1 Okay, moving on to

Speaker 1 this one.

Speaker 1 This one is coming from Am I Overreacting, six days old, titled, Am I Overreacting? Husband got me edible arrangements and then ate it all.

Speaker 1 My husband and I had a baby five months ago, and I've been having a bit of a hard time lately. The last few days have been especially rough.

Speaker 1 Yesterday, my husband thought it would be a nice idea to send me an edible arrangement with chocolate-covered fruit and fruit-shaped flowers.

Speaker 1 I was surprised by it and was so happy he thought to do something nice for me, which doesn't happen all that often.

Speaker 1 Last night, I ate a few of the chocolate fruit pieces and shared some with my husband because it was really tasty. I put the rest away to eat within the next few days.

Speaker 1 I woke up this morning to find the edible arrangement container empty. He took the rest of it to work.

Speaker 1 I called him out on it and he said he wasn't sure I was going to eat the rest of it. Question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark.
Then ask.

Speaker 1 This gesture just ended up making me feel sad and made me cry. Am I overreacting? It's just fruit.
No, he should have asked you. That would actually have me crashing out.

Speaker 1 I've like cried over a lot less, so I would freak the fuck out. See, I don't know that I would care that much, but at the same time, the fact that he doesn't do nice things for her often

Speaker 1 and like you're so excited about it and thinking, like, that's so sweet. And then he basically, like, cuts it, like, not even in half, but like, he just took your gift.

Speaker 1 Like, you didn't even get a gift because he took it. Yeah, exactly.
It wasn't for you. Was it for him? So he could bring his co-workers to work.
Like, who was this really for then?

Speaker 1 Who does that without asking them too? Like, that's weird. Like, if he were to be like, are you going to eat more of this?

Speaker 1 Like, and if she says no, then be like, okay, well, I'd love to bring it to work if you're not going to have any more so that other people can enjoy it. And then she says, yeah, sounds good.

Speaker 1 Then like, that's a different conversation. Just like giving someone a gift and then taking it away is so weird.
It's so weird. It's so weird.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's for me, like it would be the principle more than like the

Speaker 1 edible arrangement. See, I'm like, you don't touch my chocolate-covered strawberries.
You don't touch my cantaloupe. You leave my star-shaped honeydew alone.
Yeah. Like I would just be so downtrotten.

Speaker 1 I would just freak out. I really would.
Cause it's like, you're having a hard time. You're having a baby.
Sounds like you're at home taking care of the baby. He's at work.

Speaker 1 You're probably just like going through it by yourself, dealing with being a mom. And then you get this nice gift that you don't get all that often.
And then he just snatches it back.

Speaker 1 And then it's like my head, I know it's about fruit, you guys, but I'd be like, do you care about me? Do you respect me? Clearly not because you stole my fruit back. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do I need to sleep with one eye open? Can I trust you? I don't think so. You're stealing food from my table, taking that chocolate-covered strawberry straight out of my mouth.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know if I can rely on you to be a provider for this family anymore. No, you can't even provide for my family.

Speaker 1 I couldn't keep it up.

Speaker 1 But no, I don't think you're overreacting. Is it the end of your marriage? No.
Like, you got to have a conversation and tell him why you're hurt. And just.

Speaker 1 he needs to do nice things for you more often, too. Absolutely.
Yeah, absolutely. Top conversation.

Speaker 1 Especially like while you're carrying his baby and gave birth to his baby, like he should be doing extra nice things to you. So the fact that like he doesn't do that often, that is concerning to me.

Speaker 1 This one present bare minimum. Yeah.
Like this one instance isn't concerning to me, but like if he's consistently not showing up for you, then that is a different story.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine choosing to be with a partner that doesn't show up for you. Yeah.
Like I really can't imagine. Like

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 just am blown away by how much Justin goes above and beyond to make sure things are special for me. Like he really does.
He fucking, that man, like he fucking loves me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wedding day, like he got everyone like around. He like wrote all of my bridesmaids cards.
That's the sweetest thing ever. I literally like was like, do I need to redo my speech?

Speaker 1 Because I need to say, because normally like the maid of honor speech is supposed to be more tailored to you. And then like wrap in like the partner.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then like best man is more about the guy, rap in, yeah. But then after I read that, I'm like, I need to add more.
I need, I like, started panicking. I was like, Morgan.
And she's like, it's fine.

Speaker 1 No, your speech was amazing.

Speaker 1 But like, he made sure everyone felt so loved and like special and like wrote all of my bridesmaids cards.

Speaker 1 He got me like a diamond tennis bracelet that he literally went downtown and like custom made. He put my birthstone and his birthstone hidden in the back by the class.

Speaker 1 He didn't stop there.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize it until we walked into the tent, but we were like looking at all the florals and like I was seeing the tent for the first time.

Speaker 1 And I'm like looking around and all of a sudden I see this basket and it was a wicker basket from Venus et Fleur, however the fuck you say that, like the forever flower place.

Speaker 1 And I had sent him this Instagram ad of that basket.

Speaker 1 And I had sent him that like ad from Instagram months ago, months ago. And he had it

Speaker 1 at our wedding, like at our placemat, waiting for me to get. And I'm like,

Speaker 1 you didn't have to do any of this, like a nice card, but then like all of that.

Speaker 1 And he's just like, I just wanted you to have the perfect day and feel so loved and i'm like so sweet i'm like this girl can't even keep her damn fruit

Speaker 1 she can't even get her fruit i demand justice i'll send you an arrangement oh my god no justin has done like the sweetest most thoughtful things for you The, I just remember when you first started dating and like you guys were walking along Venice and you saw this like horse painting that you were like, oh, I love that.

Speaker 1 And you asked how much it was. And you're like, oh, it's too expensive.
And then he came back like then, either the next day or like that very same day and bought it for you and survived and surprised

Speaker 1 how you say surprised

Speaker 1 and surprised you.

Speaker 1 He just got stick with it now.

Speaker 1 And he surprised it with you. Oh my God, what's wrong with me?

Speaker 1 And then he gave it to you like months later.

Speaker 1 God damn it. Surprised.
I don't want to do that word anymore.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was really cute. And he surprised you with it months later at this very specific time.
Yeah, for my birthday. Yes.

Speaker 1 A very specific time. Yes.
The day I was born on that anniversary of that magical day.

Speaker 1 It was so long ago. I don't remember.
I know. He's very thoughtful.
The other thing he did, too, with the, um,

Speaker 1 oh my God, it was one of those things where you like opened up a gift every day or like opened up a note. He made me like a fucking advent calendar.
That was so cool. It was incredible.

Speaker 1 Like every single day had this like thoughtful gift or like a note to a puzzle piece for the big final gift. So cool.

Speaker 1 And it was like a t-shirt with like my pony on it, like one of those like band graphic collage things. It's just like, he's so thoughtful.
Yeah. So I think that's why this story where I'm like,

Speaker 1 it really irks me because like

Speaker 1 if he wants to, he will. And it like does not have to be financial.
Like effort does not have to be financial. It just needs to be effort.
It needs to be thoughtful. Right.

Speaker 1 It can be free, but put in some fucking effort. Well, like, and like specifically because like gifts are a big part of your love language.

Speaker 1 So that's why it's like that equals like effort, that equals like showing that somebody's thinking of you. So no, that makes a lot of sense why this one like totally is just pissing me off.

Speaker 1 Top comment, no offense, but is he a moron?

Speaker 1 They all are.

Speaker 1 Next one. I thought we established that.
Of the highest order. Next comment after that, I feel that's unfair to morons.

Speaker 1 Damn. He bought her something that she was kind enough to share with him, and he decided that wasn't enough.
Of course, she was going to eat them. They were delicious, and why she shared.

Speaker 1 He knew that and took them anyways. He's a greedy asshole.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Next comment down

Speaker 1 in response to no offense, but is he a moron? The person goes, yes.

Speaker 1 That's it. Just yes.

Speaker 1 Did he really bring it to work or get the late night munchies and then realize his mistake and feel embarrassed? Ask him to get you another one.

Speaker 1 OP responds, right before we went to bed, he was snacking a bit on it, but I saw him put the rest back in the fridge.

Speaker 1 When I saw the empty container this morning, I figured he had taken the rest to work. Yesterday, he asked me to buy some fruit when I went grocery shopping so he could take some to work.

Speaker 1 I bought three different kinds of fruit for him. This morning, he only took the edible arrangement and didn't take any of the fruit I bought at the grocery store.

Speaker 1 Why is he so dumb? Literally. He made you go get him fruit for work and then took your gift to work instead of the fruit that he made you go out and get him.
Also, why is he bringing fruit to work?

Speaker 1 Weird. I don't even know anyone that brings fruit to work.
Like,

Speaker 1 for the office, you know? I mean,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I guess if you're having like a pot look,

Speaker 1 someone brings fruit or a veggie tray, but not your wife's gift. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We do get an update. Okay.

Speaker 1 You weren't very excited for that.

Speaker 1 My head was still in it in the other place. I'm here with you.
In the bad place.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Update. After work, he went and bought all the stuff to make me a big container of chocolate-covered strawberries and apples.

Speaker 1 Honestly, the ones he made ended up being way better than the edible arrangement ones. He apologized and said they were all for me.
There we go.

Speaker 1 We love someone who can correct their wrongs real quick. How do you feel? Are you satisfied? Do you hate him still? No, I'm like, if OP said they tasted better,

Speaker 1 I'm sure they did because they were made with love.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, I love it. But I'm still like,

Speaker 1 I like the effort of it. Like, I like the, that he's actually getting

Speaker 1 dirty with it. He's putting in effort.
Putting in effort. I mean, it is a lot more effort to melt the chocolate, dip the fruit, let it set.
Like, that is a lot of work.

Speaker 1 And, like, honestly, cut the fruit. Oh, yeah.
And it's really easy to like mess up the chocolate. I just made chocolate covered something

Speaker 1 for like Michaela's little birthday smorgasborg she had. Like each person had to make a different item.
And we made chocolate covered fruit and angel food cake. Okay.

Speaker 1 And the first time we melted the chocolate, we actually, it like stalled. Oh, yeah.
And it just like hardened. Hardened.
Yeah. And that can happen.
So it's like, it is a lot more effort.

Speaker 1 So I'm satisfied with it. It's, it's good.
This is sweet. I'm also

Speaker 1 on hole 30 right now. And so, and it's been really great, but you talking about like chocolate.
You can't have chocolate? No.

Speaker 1 You can't have like anything. It's like very, very strict.

Speaker 1 Dude, I saw a clip. Really happy you're doing it.
It'll be great. Yeah.
But I saw a clip of Victoria Beckham because her new documentary came out.

Speaker 1 And David Beckham was like, would you like a whisper? It's like some British chocolate. And she goes, Ew, I haven't had chocolate since the 90s.
I'm not going to start now.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, You haven't had a piece of chocolate since the 90s? That's brutal. You haven't had chocolate since I was born.
That's heartbreaking. That's that's

Speaker 1 wow.

Speaker 1 For what?

Speaker 1 For what? What's one piece of chocolate going to do to you? Spiral.

Speaker 1 Become

Speaker 1 that Willy Wonka kid who falls in the chocolate.

Speaker 1 Okay, I will say I made the mistake of buying all of our hando wendoeen? Handoeen.

Speaker 1 All of our Halloween candy early

Speaker 1 to get ready for our trick-or-treaters because we get a lot.

Speaker 1 And that was a mistake because I can't stop eating the candy. Yeah.
No, I can't stop. I'm not addictive.
That's why.

Speaker 1 So, well, that's with like the whole 30 is not actually meant to be like a weight loss diet.

Speaker 1 It's meant to, one, figure out your food sensitivities, which I really have been talking about wanting to do for a while. And now I'm like actually

Speaker 1 gonna figure some stuff out. That's gonna be great, great.

Speaker 1 And then we're gonna do colonoscopies because colon cancer is rising in young adults. It's time for all of us to get checked.
Justin's scheduled his appointment. Really?

Speaker 1 Well, I was, I went in and asked about it and they denied me. I'm too, you're too young.
Tell them you're bleeding out your asshole. Lie.

Speaker 1 Do what you got to do. You pay for insurance.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's also expensive too.
I like, it was with my last insurance. I mean, not so expensive, but not ideal.
Worth it to find out if you have colon cancer or not? Well, yes. I think so.

Speaker 1 Justin's friend just got a massive nodule snipped out. Really? He's got to do colonoscopies every six months now because it was so big.
Oh my God. Yeah.
And he's 28.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It did.
Did he like see signs though? No.

Speaker 1 None.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's time. The amount of messages I get from you guys where you're like, I had stage three colon cancer.
I had stage four colon cancer. Like it is on the rise.
And how many people do you talk to?

Speaker 1 They're like, I have weird stomach stuff. Yeah.
My stomach hurts all the time.

Speaker 1 I only rain pee out my asshole. Like

Speaker 1 so many people have problems. I, I, I have not, I, I don't know if I've had anyone say that to me, but, but it's a, it's true.
I'll tell you that the next time it happens to me.

Speaker 1 It's pretty common these days. Something ain't right.

Speaker 1 Um, but yeah, anyway, so

Speaker 1 I go through phases where I'm like, I need ice cream every night to like complete the day. I bought these uh pumpkin spice donut holes from Trader Joe's.
They are so good,

Speaker 1 but Justin had probably four of them and I ate the rest. And there were like three left today, and I had to throw them in the garbage to stop myself.

Speaker 1 So that's actually the worst part about doing this during October: I love those types of flavors. They're so good.
There's so many fun treats during Halloween. I love Halloween.
Anyway,

Speaker 1 yeah, next story. Next story.

Speaker 1 I want a cookie. We do.

Speaker 1 Okay.

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Speaker 1 This next one.

Speaker 1 I want to give you a choice. Option one:

Speaker 1 Am I the asshole for pointing out my daughter's imperfections after she said she understood why her father cheated on me since I gained so much weight?

Speaker 1 Wow, that just said trauma in so many different languages.

Speaker 1 Or, my ex-wife predicted my future in painful details, and I can't sleep at night because of it.

Speaker 1 Why'd you do this? They're both so intriguing.

Speaker 1 I don't like that you did this to me and us.

Speaker 1 Sorry,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Flip a coin, probably, yeah.

Speaker 1 We haven't left anything to the coin flip in some time.

Speaker 1 Okay, which one do you want to be? Heads, heads will be the first one. Okay, tails the second.

Speaker 1 Tails. Okay, tails.
It is.

Speaker 1 I'm unsatisfied.

Speaker 1 So, do you want to do the first one then?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's do it. I'll read the other one on Patreon.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Okay, so again, the title. Am I the asshole for pointing out my daughter's imperfections after she said she understood why her father cheated on me since I gained so much weight?

Speaker 1 I, 45 female, feel extremely guilty. I won't act as if I'm the most desirable wife in the world.
I did gain a lot of weight. I did let myself go.
My husband, 47 male, is by far the better looking one.

Speaker 1 But I don't think I deserved to be cheated on. He did the stereotypical thing of cheating on me with a young, thin woman, 28 female.

Speaker 1 Of course, my husband didn't want to be the one to tell our daughter, 22 female, that we're getting divorced. We only have the one daughter.
Even though she's an adult, I expected it to to hurt her.

Speaker 1 Our daughter was always closer to her father than me. The talk was just between my daughter and I.
I told her that her father and I both love her more than anything, and that nothing will change that.

Speaker 1 That neither of us regret a marriage that gave us her, but we're getting a divorce. She just stared into space, and I hugged her.
After the hug, she was just staring at me.

Speaker 1 Out of nowhere, she asked if her father had cheated on me. I had no plans of telling her that, but I didn't know what to say given that she asked.
I said yes. She asked me, what did I expect?

Speaker 1 She said she understood why he did it since I had gained so much weight. I was devastated all over again.
That was the last thing I expected her to say. Wow.

Speaker 1 I know that my daughter has a boyfriend, 25 male. I told my daughter that she's not so thin herself.
And I asked her, what if her boyfriend cheated on her because of her weight?

Speaker 1 I asked her, what if her boyfriend cheated on her because of her acne?

Speaker 1 I told her that right now she smelled and she's wearing crappy clothes. I asked her if she expects her boyfriend to love her as she is or to cheat on her.
She had tears in her eyes.

Speaker 1 She told me that I shouldn't be picking on her since my man doesn't find me sexy anymore. Right now, I'm just broken and I can't trust my own judgment.
I was expecting more sympathy from my daughter.

Speaker 1 I don't know if my reaction was appropriate. Am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 I don't feel like I'm giving sound advice, but I'm like, no. I'm like, you're not the asshole.
Like, pop off queen.

Speaker 1 But, like, I know

Speaker 1 it's really tough because it's like, you know,

Speaker 1 kids hurt. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But kid, air quotes, is also a 22-year-old young woman. Exactly.
Like,

Speaker 1 come on. It's, yeah, like, where is that child's empathy? Like, how is that your first reaction?

Speaker 1 How is that like your knee-jerk thing that you're going to spit out? I get why dad cheated on you because you've gained a lot of weight.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 And also, your dad cheated on your mom with someone that's six years older than you. How are you not repulsed by him? Come on, girl.
It reminds me of that quote. Oh,

Speaker 1 what is it?

Speaker 1 Often, father and daughter look down on mother together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point.
They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do.

Speaker 1 This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother's fate. Hmm.

Speaker 1 It's basically this like quote, this old timey quote, and I don't even know where it came from, but essentially, like, it's some like a common trope that in a dynamic with, you know, parents and a daughter, the daughter will laugh at the mom, the daughter will, you know, be the, the father's girl, the daddy's girl at the mom's expense rather than just like loving both parents equally.

Speaker 1 Like they'll belittle mom. They'll laugh together at mom.
I've seen it play out with my family of my own. And it's, it's weird where it's like, that's your mom.

Speaker 1 Why are you, why are you picking on your mom?

Speaker 1 And essentially, once that daughter becomes a mother, she will share that same fate.

Speaker 1 You're not better than your mom. Yeah.
You're not smarter than your mom. Like, you will have that fate.

Speaker 1 And it's just like, it's kind of giving that where it's like, you're choosing your dad, who's kind of a pig,

Speaker 1 rather than just like being a decent person towards your mom and having, as you put it, empathy.

Speaker 1 I mean, at 22 years old, like, I can't imagine,

Speaker 1 I can't imagine saying that at any age, honestly. So, for me, like, I don't really,

Speaker 1 I don't feel bad for the daughter that the mom responded that way is all I'm saying.

Speaker 1 And I know that, like, maybe my response should be a little bit more like, okay, that's not the way, that's not how to like handle it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're still the mother, but like, but part of me is like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Good, good for you for once. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I could see a lot of people being like, everyone sucks here. But at the same time,

Speaker 1 you weren't saying to her, well, you're fat. You have acne.
You're ugly. You were simply posing a question to her to be like.

Speaker 1 To ponder. To ponder.
Like, if your boyfriend cheated on you because of your acne, is that okay? Yeah. Like, you're not.
Or because you're negative. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Like, you're just trying to get her to like realize how silly what she said was. Right.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, in that case, I'm like, maybe this was a learning lesson that she needed. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I personally,

Speaker 1 maybe this will get me some flack. I don't know.
I personally think not the asshole.

Speaker 1 I do realize a lot of people could go, everyone sucks here, or you're the asshole, even.

Speaker 1 But it's my personal take. I mean, that's, I mean, that's what I've been thrown out too.
So I like it. I like it.
Top comment. Let's hear it.
Not the asshole. Oh.

Speaker 1 22 is old enough not to blame someone for getting cheated on or a marriage ending.

Speaker 1 Your ex is a coward for not telling her, but given her horrendous reaction that it was somehow your fault, I imagine it would have gone down that way regardless.

Speaker 1 She sounded like she needed a good kick up the ass, and verbally you did so only using the exact same logic applied to you. Exactly.
It wouldn't be chasing after her.

Speaker 1 Focus on yourself and getting your life straight. It might make her realize what she's done and that she went too far.
I would make my kid humble themselves after that because she owes you an apology.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Next comment down, honestly, you're not the asshole, but everyone else is.

Speaker 1 Her dad cheated with a woman only six years older than her, and I don't care how rail thin you are. Perverts like that have a type, young and dumb.
Your adult daughter was cruel.

Speaker 1 And how more guilty and shitty would it be if she was a mean girl from someone outside of the home? You did the universe a favor by nicking that bad behavior in the bud.

Speaker 1 She fucked around and found out.

Speaker 1 You're human. That happens to be a mom.
It's not outlandish to expect some sort of empathy. And her cruelty is concerning.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm, I'm like, it's actually very concerning to me. Yeah.
And OP doesn't respond to that one. Do I have a leg to stand on talking about her lack of empathy after what I said? Yes.

Speaker 1 Yours was a reaction. Hers was just like being a bitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It was like you were reacting to her being a bitch.
She was just being a bitch. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And someone does reply, yes, you do. She was kicking you while you were down while you were showing her how the tables can turn.
You do have empathy.

Speaker 1 You didn't say what you said to hurt her, and you wouldn't blame her if she was cheated on.

Speaker 1 You were actually trying to get her to empathize with you by showing her how it would feel to be in your shoes. You did nothing wrong.
She just needed to learn a lesson.

Speaker 1 OP does have a few other comments, basically like asking people when they're pointing out that her daughter could have like some internalized misogyny.

Speaker 1 And OP's just like, clearly, where do you see that? Like, trying to get more, whatever.

Speaker 1 Someone does say, everyone sucks here, but I can understand your reaction. She's an adult, not a child anymore.
OP goes, I agree with everyone sucks here.

Speaker 1 I wish I had a better reaction to what she said. I wished I was composed enough to ask her why that was the first thing she said.
I don't.

Speaker 1 OP is like, I feel like we failed her. Honestly, I don't think it's a we.
I think if anything, like your husband kind of failed in that sense.

Speaker 1 Like he should have been a part of that conversation with you. Agreed.
I don't know why that was your burden to bear, being the one to break the news to her that you're ending your marriage.

Speaker 1 Like it takes two people to have a marriage. He's calling it quits.
He should be there. He shouldn't be let off the hook like that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 OP has a comment here. In recent years from the outside, my husband may have come off as a man who was bored bored with his wife.
Is that enough to have such an impact on our daughter?

Speaker 1 Basically, just being like, I think people are implying, like, your daughter's clearly gone through some stuff, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 OP also says, I feel like my daughter must have had some seriously bad influences, maybe from her father or someone else.

Speaker 1 So just kind of trying to rationalize with this behavior and why her daughter is so cruel.

Speaker 1 One of the most controversial comments is: everyone sucks here. Wow.
She was shitty to say that. Yikes, you were shitty to respond in kind.
What the fuck? You're her mother.

Speaker 1 You know that wasn't appropriate. Y'all both need to get on the female empowerment train.
You both have some serious internalized misogyny going on there.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Wrong.

Speaker 1 I like it. Well, that was a serious bruh ending.
Bruh. I've got a few more of these that are going over to Patreon.
It's going to be a whole theme over there this month. Am I going to be on it at all?

Speaker 1 You could pop over there with me. We could keep tackling the rest of these.

Speaker 1 You're well, well-versed and trained in the bruh now.

Speaker 1 Bruh. I'm going to be back

Speaker 1 around town on Thursday. Hey, we'll see what I can do.
I am researching for my clues podcast Thursday, but maybe I can squeeze you in. Squeeze you.
I'll squeeze you in. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Thank you guys so much for being here. Another episode.
Head over to Patreon if you want to see Lauren squeezed in there.

Speaker 1 But really appreciate you guys being here. If there's any themes, any theme ideas would be really appreciated because my brain hurts.

Speaker 1 But any themes, guests, stories you want to see us cover, put it in the comments. I'm open to suggestions.
But other than that, until next time. Until next time, bruh.

Speaker 1 Bye, guys. Bye.

Speaker 1 Bruh.