176: What's the Best Case Scenario? Ft. Drea Knows Best

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Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Kraft Mac and Cheese. Kraft Mac and Cheese is the best thing ever.
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Speaker 1 Pick up a box in store or online today. Kraft Mac and Cheese, best thing ever.

Speaker 2 Look at the sneakers. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you came ready.

Speaker 2 You know, you just stay ready. So they'll got to get ready, you know? I love that.
I love that. Okay, well, we are rolling on everything.

Speaker 1 I know. I'm like, I have to check the amount of stuff I've lost.
I'm like, oh, God.

Speaker 2 Dude, that's the worst. You from a whole podcast and then nothing recorded.
Cause it never happened. Yeah.
Oh, shoot. Yeah.
Somebody about to get fired. Oh, me.

Speaker 2 Me.

Speaker 1 And then you just kind of cry about it. And then you have, you know, emotional breakdown, but then you're back in it, you know? Picking all new stories because it's hard to fake a reaction.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, you can't, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It's like when you record a voice note and it didn't actually record, you have to like do it again. The same enthusiasm, like, hey, girl, like, no, it doesn't work.
I know. No, you can't do it.

Speaker 1 Drea, I'm so excited to have you today.

Speaker 2 Oh, thank you. I'm happy to be here too, Morgan.

Speaker 1 Oh, if you haven't recognized her voice, her beautiful face, today we are joined by Drea knows best, aka Drea, okay.

Speaker 2 Hey, hey,

Speaker 2 there we go.

Speaker 1 You are amazing. Like, I did the deep dive on you today.

Speaker 1 Drea was an engineer, is still an engineer,

Speaker 1 but you started like way back on Vine. And then when TikTok came, you really found your niche there.
And I love the way you describe it, where you say it's comedy, but with your culture.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 And you said something in an interview you did too, where you were like, it's not about just creating this mass following, but really a sense of community. Big time.

Speaker 1 and you and your content like I love I watched one of your and I didn't even realize it was an ad that's how good it was but it was like your family was visiting and you needed it was like the lip gloss or something but it was so cute

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm a part of the family that's what I always want to do I feel like even when I'm doing ads like I don't want to I hate watching ads yeah so if I can just like storytell naturally like how I would make the content I always think about like my community first like what do they connect with they love seeing me with my family they love seeing me me teach people Nigerian slangs.

Speaker 2 They love seeing things like culture is the underlining, like, um, blueprint of my platform. I love it.

Speaker 2 Like, when I make content, I always think about like, what would young Drea that was bullied for being Nigerian? And, like, you know, are you really? I really was. It was so dumb.

Speaker 2 I'm like, are y'all kidding me?

Speaker 1 You grew up in New York and like Connecticut or something, I saw born in Connecticut.

Speaker 2 Okay. Um, moved to Belgium, my mom, and then moved to

Speaker 2 Nigeria, then from Nigeria to New York, okay, New York back to Nigeria for boarding school, and then back to America, Maryland.

Speaker 2 So, all around cultured queen, culture, you know, just like, yeah, I love Trotter. I love meeting new people.
I love learning about, like, where do you come from? What do you do?

Speaker 2 What does your family do? Like, all up in their faces, just trying to get to know people. I love that.
But yeah, that's why I love, I think, I love culture. I love

Speaker 2 hearing up people's stories.

Speaker 1 I love that. I have some stories that are a little Nigerian in theme.
So, we're making sure we hit all the bases bases today, making sure people are represented.

Speaker 2 I am so happy to be here. I wasn't happy before.
I'm happier now. I'm just kidding.
Always happy.

Speaker 1 I love it. So the theme we have today, what's the best course of action? Where do they go from here? Like, what's best course here? Because you know best.
I do.

Speaker 2 Trea knows best. Always.

Speaker 2 Always.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's dive in.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this first one, it was 18 hours old the time I found it.

Speaker 2 It is coming from Am I the Asshole titled, I know, that's so funny.

Speaker 1 Titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Husband, for once in your life, be quiet?

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 1 My 40 female husband, 45 male, Jake, is a very loud person. He does nothing quietly.
He talks loudly, stomps when he walks, slam doors, etc.

Speaker 1 But he also groans loudly, yawns loudly, grunts loudly, makes overly exaggerated sounds of struggle and exhaustion, no matter what he is doing.

Speaker 2 He will be taking his socks off, and it's ah, ooh, woo, ga, ah, ah, oh, ah, oh,

Speaker 1 every damn time.

Speaker 2 Oh, that would piss me off.

Speaker 1 He doesn't do any of this out of anger. I've talked to him countless times about being quieter.
He doesn't think he's loud, but he really is.

Speaker 1 Until I met Jake, I didn't realize anyone can yawn louder than a drill sergeant yells. I've explained to him it's so loud, it feels painful to me.

Speaker 1 I have an auditory disorder, and I often struggle with noise levels where I get headaches and nausea. To wrap this up, Jake was being what seemed to be louder than his usual loud earlier today.

Speaker 1 And I snapped and told him to, for once in his life, just be quiet.

Speaker 2 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Obviously, that didn't go well. And now he's mad at me.
But he's also making it a point to prove how quiet he can be, and that it's just me making things up when I say he's too loud.

Speaker 1 So, am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 2 first of all, first of all, you know he's a loud man, so why did you marry him?

Speaker 2 I was thinking, how did they get this for me? Why did you, yeah, because you said they're 40 in their 40s, so it's not, it might not be a new marriage. Y'all have been together for so long.

Speaker 2 When you were dating him, you heard, don't, don't, don't, ah, ah, ah, ooh. I wouldn't be able to do it.
Right. So.

Speaker 1 That was my thought, too. Like, how do they get so far? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Crazy.

Speaker 2 At least she did.

Speaker 2 I think she's not an asshole because she said that politely. She only, at least she didn't say it like for once in your lifetime.
Like, shut the fuck up. Shut up.
She didn't say that, right?

Speaker 2 Just be quiet.

Speaker 1 Just be quiet. For once in your life.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, it's still a little sassy, but you're at your wit's end. You're about to get a migraine headache and throw up.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 What was the thing she said? She has

Speaker 1 an auditory disorder.

Speaker 2 Hmm. What is that? Let's Google it.

Speaker 2 Let's Google it. Let's Google that.
Yeah, Drando's best, but let's go to that one.

Speaker 1 It could be a magnitude of things. Like, I think about, you know, there's people with autism or ADHD.
Like, you're super sensitive to noises.

Speaker 1 So, like, a clock ticking back and forth could set you off. Or just like.
Even a normal noise is overwhelming to you.

Speaker 1 Like, your auditory processing center in your brain could just be like more heightened.

Speaker 2 so there's stuff like that

Speaker 2 background in like therapy stuff

Speaker 2 yeah that's why you know this

Speaker 2 okay morgan okay i see um

Speaker 2 i don't think she's a she's an asshole for that i think she could have communicated it better but homeboy is doing it for too long sometimes she just gets a point where you just got to snap And until you snap, then they're going to get the point.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Because she said she told him before, like, you're being too loud.
And he doesn't listen. What's his name, Jake? Jake.
Jake, you don't listen.

Speaker 1 So so sometimes you got to tell them straight to their face you do you know do you also feel like i feel like guys especially as they get older they learn to yawn like abnormally loud i feel like it's like the people joke about it it's like the dad yawn or the dad sneeze and all of a sudden it's like oh

Speaker 2 no that sneeze because my brother my brother has the same thing but i don't think i think it got louder as we got older Because when we were young, that's what I'm saying. Teenagers, he was okay.

Speaker 2 It was it was loud, but it wasn't that loud. I know.
But as an adult, it's like his allergies became like 10 times worse and every time he's like it's not hit you it's

Speaker 1 it's like full body crazy sneeze like why i think because they're looking for attention is that what it is it's like you know i think men don't really like to ask for attention they look for a way to just like let me see i can get the attention right now i definitely see that for my dad because he loves attention like he loves attention so i i could see that being the reason he does that sneeze

Speaker 2 you might be honest something maybe there's like a cloud have you seen inside out um the movie the disney one the disney one when it's like the emotions controlling your brain maybe like at some age for men like some random emotion of like be loud comes up and like just starts controlling your brain and every time they sneeze they yawn they cough it just has to be loud i can see it yeah and they're just twisting the little wires the little dials

Speaker 1 Top comment on this one, not the asshole, but sounds like you two need to have a serious conversation about it and come to some kind of solution that makes you both happy.

Speaker 1 OP says, we've had many conversations over the five years we've been married. He insists he's not loud and me and everyone else is just imagining it because he's not too loud to himself.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 2 I feel like, I feel like they need to record him and play it back. I think that would be.
So he can see it.

Speaker 2 Because if you can't hear it, it's like when, okay, it's like for me, like when I sing in the shower, I think my voice is amazing.

Speaker 2 Oh, I remember when I sing out loud to people, like, they tell you, no, it's not good. They're so about that shower.
Exactly.

Speaker 2 Right? So, for him, he got it, he has to watch it and hear it. And then he's probably going to be like, oh, wow, it's so loud it can cause an earthquake.
I need to chill. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I wonder if there's like some hearing loss going on, too. Oh, that's a twist.
You know, because like, have you ever been in the car with your friend? And, like, you might be this friend. I don't know.

Speaker 1 But they crank the music and you're sitting there, like, like trying to have a conversation with them and you can't even hear them because their music is so loud.

Speaker 1 Like, I have multiple friends where I already know they have hearing damage. Yeah.

Speaker 2 They, they need, they need, yeah, I'm the friend that'll turn it down. Like, I can't, I can barely hear you.
Like, let's start it. Let's turn it out.
Yeah, that's me.

Speaker 1 That's it. That's me in the car.

Speaker 2 I have sensitive ears.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So I don't know what OP's going to do here.
I mean,

Speaker 1 you're kind of in it.

Speaker 2 I think they need like a safe word, you know?

Speaker 2 Exactly. Yeah, like a safe word.
Like, what is getting too much?

Speaker 1 Pineapple. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just pineapple. Please don't.

Speaker 2 Munchkins.

Speaker 2 I do love those donuts. Yes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's only one other comment from OP on this post. I love Jake.
Other than the loud, he's a great guy.

Speaker 2 Do you think they're going to get a divorce over this?

Speaker 1 I mean, at a certain point,

Speaker 1 I think they need to evaluate his hearing. Maybe he needs hearing aids.
Maybe that would help.

Speaker 1 In OT, we had these tubes we would use for kids that talked really loud or like needed help like realizing their levels and like to better regulate.

Speaker 1 And it's a tube and you put it from your mouth and then to your ear. It's like literally just like a plastic tube.
And then essentially, if they talk loud, they're yelling in their own ear.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, maybe we need to get him one of the nerves too.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think that could help. I'm going to prime that to him right now.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're so cheap. It's like 12 bucks for a phone.

Speaker 2 I can imagine it. It's like from your mouth.
Like, did he stick it in their mouth? And then, like,

Speaker 2 is that safe?

Speaker 1 I'm not, I mean, I think so. They call them soundpipes.
They're they look like this.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 2 It looks like those things, you know, when you're young and you stick your finger in it and then you stick another finger and your finger gets stuck. That's what it looks like.

Speaker 1 Finger traps.

Speaker 2 Finger traps. Oh, the panic I would have in those things.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So, I don't know.
That might be, might be worth a shot. Right.

Speaker 2 Might be worth a shot for him. They try it.

Speaker 2 There is an edit. Oh.

Speaker 1 I've had friends and family point out how obnoxiously loud Jake is and even ask me if he struggles from hearing loss. He doesn't.
And if that's why he's so loud.

Speaker 2 She said he doesn't struggle from

Speaker 2 hear loss.

Speaker 1 But I feel like he must. Like there's, there's, there's an answer to this.
It has to be.

Speaker 2 Or, or is it just like he grew up in a family that's like loud? Because I'm a loud person. Yeah.
Like my laugh is like, I don't have the cute.

Speaker 2 Even my sister tells me, like, girl, like, calm down. So that's just me.
Like, my family and especially Nigerians were all loud. We were talking on the phone.

Speaker 2 My parents on the phone is like, they're like trying to talk over somebody and no one else is talking, but they're the only one in the room talking, but they have to be the loudest in the room.

Speaker 2 So it might be maybe in his family, they're all just loud. So what's like quiet to him

Speaker 2 doesn't seem quiet. What's loud to him doesn't seem loud, you know? So that might be a thing.
It might be like a upbringing thing. I know.

Speaker 1 I could so see that. His threshold then would have to be so much higher, especially if he's like one of those families where it's like you're fighting for your space to talk.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I could see that. Yeah.
So

Speaker 2 the bottom line is, what's her name? OP?

Speaker 2 You knew the man you were marrying. You saw the signs, but you ignored it.

Speaker 2 And now you're dealing with it years later.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 you got to just got to deal with it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like,

Speaker 1 there's a saying saying for it, and I can't think of it. But essentially, it's like, you messed with the bull.
You know, you're getting the horns now. Like, you know what you were signing up for.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, you're upset.

Speaker 2 But you signed up. You knew.
You signed up.

Speaker 2 Signed in the papers.

Speaker 2 Literally.

Speaker 2 Stamp.

Speaker 1 Moving along. Okay, this next one.
It is five hours old, coming from A-I-T-A-H,

Speaker 1 titled, Am I the Asshole for Separating From My Wife for Drastically Changing Her Appearance?

Speaker 2 This is gonna be good.

Speaker 1 My wife and I have been married for 10 years and we have three kids. During lockups, she went down this TikTok rabbit hole and became a crunchy health nut.
She changed completely from when I met her.

Speaker 1 She refuses to eat anything that's not healthy. She doesn't even eat for an entire day every couple of days.
She's lost 30 pounds that way.

Speaker 1 She also began lifting and she's very muscular now. She has a man's shoulders.

Speaker 1 To top it all off, she got a breast reduction. She didn't even have big breasts, but she hated how saggy they were and spent $10,000 on getting a totally unnecessary breast reduction.

Speaker 1 Everyone told me that it was her body, and I have no say in what she wanted to look like. Exactly.
But I'm not attracted to her.

Speaker 1 She looks nothing like the woman I married. I tried dealing with it for years, but it was too much.
I couldn't even recognize her. When I asked for a divorce, she began bawling.

Speaker 1 She said I was a shallow jerk and she wished she had never met me. It was so hurtful because she didn't even care about our three beautiful kids.

Speaker 1 Most of my friends have reassured me that I wasn't wrong. However, a few of them who were friends with my wife have dropped me and call me an asshole every time they see me.

Speaker 1 They've even gone so far as to leave hate comments on my social media posts. Oh, wow.
Am I the asshole?

Speaker 2 There are so many layers to this story. So many layers to this.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 The first one that came to mind was: okay,

Speaker 2 if you need a reminder of how she looks like, look at your kids. Cause that's a combination of both of y'all.
So if you want to remember how she looks like, look at the kids, look at the photos.

Speaker 2 I think I'm an advocate for.

Speaker 2 If you don't like something about yourself, which you should love yourself and everything, but if you want to change it and she's happy with it, she should go ahead and do that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, clearly she has the coins to do it because she spent $10,000 on the boob reduction like okay girl but i think he needs to check his friends because why his the friends that he's like oh my friends are supporting me like check who you're surrounding yourself with they're probably not really your friends and two like

Speaker 2 i kind of like kudos to her for you know wanting to change her like get herself together she lost 30 pounds maybe she was on the you know not even thicker side but like maybe she needs to lose weights for health reasons too you know that could be the case is he unhappy because he doesn't look good?

Speaker 2 He doesn't look good. He's not keeping up.
Not going out. Not that going out.
Everyone's like checking her out and they're not looking at him anymore. Like, what's going on?

Speaker 1 I wonder. I could see it being a big insecurity.
Like, she's eating super healthy. She's looking really good.
She's getting more attention. And he's just kind of brushing it off like this.

Speaker 1 The comment, though, he has where it's like, she also began lifting and she's very muscular now. She has a man's shoulder.

Speaker 2 I hated that comment. I hated that.
I mean, broad shoulders could have been a better way to say it. Man's shoulders, though.

Speaker 1 It's giving something just very, just toxic.

Speaker 2 It's giving toxic. It's giving, I think he's a little, it's an ego thing too.

Speaker 2 I know like when people are dating, you want to date someone that's like matches. your energy in a way.

Speaker 2 So maybe their love language was like, let's go out and eat BJs or Applebee's and let's eat whatever, you know? And now she's like, I know, you know, I love BJs. They're pazookis.

Speaker 1 Oh, I've never been.

Speaker 2 Girl, pazookis are the best thing ever. I can have like 10.
Okay. It's like basically a warm cookie and then uh ice cream on top

Speaker 2 or warm brownie ice cream on top. So good.
Sales.

Speaker 1 I'm sold.

Speaker 2 So that's probably what they were eating every day. Everyday pazukis.
And now she's like, no, I want almonds.

Speaker 1 I'd love an apple.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 This is one grape for dinner.

Speaker 2 Crunchy health nut. I was a little concerned though, because he said she doesn't eat sometimes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she won't eat for an entire day every couple of days.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. I know there's so many diet stuff.
Like my, I have a friend who's like trying keto and on this big health kit.

Speaker 1 And as he was starting, he drank only water with cayenne, pepper, and lemon in it for two days. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 I would rather eat grass. I would eat a leaf off a tree.
Like, I don't think I could do that.

Speaker 2 I couldn't do that. I once tried to do a

Speaker 2 cleanse, right? My bestie, he gave me this cleanse. You're supposed to take like, it's like 10 different pills you take, right? That's like for liver pills and whatever, whatever.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 And then you have to eat like, basically eat nothing, just like more like nuts. I said, hell no.

Speaker 2 What the hell? Like you said, am I a horse? Like,

Speaker 2 no. I'd eat my food.
And people just do it. Like, it's easy for them.
But I just love food so much.

Speaker 2 Like, I love a good, like, you know, chicken, a good, you know, healthy, hearty meal, you know, pasta, yeah,

Speaker 2 all of that. I don't care.
I don't care. Just give me food.
I love food is my love language. It really is my love language.

Speaker 1 I hate cooking, love food. So someone making me a meal is like,

Speaker 1 that is a way to win.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So maybe that's it. Maybe that's what's happening.
Like that food was their love connector. And that's like, he's lost that.

Speaker 2 So he feels like he's lost you know his person yeah but there's a way to like

Speaker 1 i was just giving the benefit doubt i think the honest truth is he's just a hater yes that's what i feel well and i think there's like a lot of guys who you typically see it after their wife gives birth like i'm not attracted to her anymore and it's like she's had three kids like she's probably feeling so good about herself and then to be told I want to divorce because I don't like the way you look.

Speaker 2 Of course she'll cry. Of course.

Speaker 1 Also, what's like for better or worse in sickness and health? Like, you're both going to get old. Gravity is going to take control.
Like, I'm already, I'm 30 and I'm going to take control.

Speaker 1 I'm battling gravity every day.

Speaker 2 Every day.

Speaker 1 Like, shit's going to go south.

Speaker 1 You're going to get fat and your balls are going to sag too. Like, that is growing old.
That is. And so, what if she never would have done any of this?

Speaker 1 And she would have just aged naturally and he still would have been like, I don't like it. I'm going to get a younger model.

Speaker 1 You know, divorce the first wife, go 20 years younger. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 Like, yes, there's a potential that he could have done that.

Speaker 1 Do you, have you seen that guy on TikTok? I'm forgetting her name. I think it's like Adrienne, and the guy is named Shafiq.

Speaker 1 She is like 23. She's beautiful.
And he's like 70.

Speaker 2 Are you sure it's not like a filter or something? Because I've seen people do that on TikTok where it's like,

Speaker 2 I love someone that's like 60 years older than me. And they put a filter on their boyfriend's picture.

Speaker 1 I got, I did get fooled by a couple of those, okay. But I do think he's real because he has one of those machines that carries him up the stairs.

Speaker 1 Like, even though he can walk up the stairs, there's no mobility issues, he just has one.

Speaker 1 And they're going through a separation right now. And I'm just like, I'm like, you get it, girl.
You deserve someone hot.

Speaker 2 There's another couple on TikTok, too, who the guy, he's like young, he's probably like in his late 20s. Okay.
And she's like in her, I think, 60s or 70s. Her skin is like super sagging.

Speaker 2 She's like very frail. And they're like always showing you, like, I love him.
He didn't love her. And it's like, it's very cringe.
I won't lie when you watch it.

Speaker 2 People are always making comments like, you know, that life insurance check is going to be nice.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 But they ain't wrong. But yeah, but so you don't know what the motive in there.
But yeah.

Speaker 1 Age gaps like that freak me out.

Speaker 2 Yes. I mean, my parents have a huge age gap.
What's theirs? My dad, he's 80, 89 and my mom is 62, 63. Okay.
So that's like 20-something, almost 30 years. Yeah, engineer bad math too.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 2 there, my dad, like he, when you see him, he's so fit. He's the life of the party.
He's so vibrant and full of life. Just young energy.
Young energy, right? And my mom, too, is still gorgeous.

Speaker 2 I mean, look at me.

Speaker 2 And, you know, sweeter heart, but they still connect well, but they both encourage each other to like, my dad is all about fitness. Like, he's all about, like, you know, let's go on a walk.

Speaker 2 Let's, you know, take care of ourselves. And instead, that inspired my mom to be on her, like eating better and eating right.
Even when she's cooking our Nigerian meals, they're all oily and stuff.

Speaker 2 But she's like, let's use less oil so we can live long like our dad kind of vibe. So couples are supposed to inspire each other.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's more supposed to be aspirational versus like this guy where she started her journey and he's like, he's just like, no, I'm not going to do it. I want to stay the same.

Speaker 2 Nah, relationships are about growing together. It's giving, we're not trying to grow together.
She's growing, elevating. So she's, he's actually doing her a favor for divorcing her.

Speaker 2 I completely agree.

Speaker 1 I think it's going to be such a tough heartbreak right now, but she deserves someone who loves her for all of her,

Speaker 2 including her new passions. Free.

Speaker 1 Top comment: free to act, free to live with the consequences. That applies to both of you.

Speaker 2 Hmm.

Speaker 1 Next comment down, a responsibility they can both shoulder.

Speaker 2 Was that a pun on the shoulder child?

Speaker 1 On the bright side, she will have an easy time moving her stuff out now.

Speaker 2 These comments did not go the way I was expecting.

Speaker 2 Is it Reddit?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Of course, it's going to be like that.
I thought they would be going after him, though.

Speaker 1 Sounds like she'll be able to shoulder it better than him now.

Speaker 2 Oh my god. I love the internet.

Speaker 1 The internet is crazy.

Speaker 2 Wow. Oh man.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. Someone does ask a real question down below.
Is it just the physical appearance or is it the personality slash lifestyle as well?

Speaker 1 Obviously, physical appearance matters to attraction, but it sounds like there's more to the loss of attraction than just her physical condition and appearance. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, maybe, because I can also picture like if she's gone so heavy into working out where she's at the gym three times a day, she's, you know, meal prepping for 10 hours, 20 hours a week, you know, that's whatever it is, that's a process.

Speaker 1 Then it's like, okay, well, we can't even go to Disneyland. Like, my brother, my brother is like,

Speaker 2 he's. Absurd.

Speaker 1 He is not Disney. He's a health crunch.

Speaker 2 Oh, fitness, bro.

Speaker 1 We'll go to to Disneyland and he'll be like, I can't eat anything here.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, get the fucking Mickey Mouse. That's not fun.
Like the church.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. Like, you should be able to have treats every now and again.
And if you can't, then I don't think your lifestyle is the healthiest.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And that, that's my hot take.
And when people, hey, no, I agree with that hot take. I want to, ooh, let me give a hot take too.

Speaker 2 I can think of one right now. I'll think of one later.
You'll get one. Yeah, I'll get it.
You'll get one. I need to have one.
It's like two hot takes.

Speaker 2 We have one. Now we need two.
Next story, you'll have quite a few, I think.

Speaker 2 okay good good good good yeah because fitness people can be very boring especially when it's like fitness bro fitness girl like all they do is like i need 500 grams of protein a day and i i don't want to talk fitness eat fitness sleep fitness like it's like okay i know there is a personality change there could be but for sure i think what really shifts is that about the core values right right your values and principles need to align so if that didn't change then they probably did get married for the wrong reason i always think whoever i end up with if if I look at them, like, what if they get in a car crash today and they're paralyzed?

Speaker 2 God forbid, will I still love them? And if the answer is yes, then yes, that's the person for me, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's it really is. Like you have to envision every

Speaker 1 maybe this is just our brains, but I do think that way too. I catastrophize a lot.
And I'm like, worst case scenario. Like, if I lost my arm tomorrow, would Justin still love me? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think so.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I think so.

Speaker 2 I think I got the right one.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 with that. Okay, moving along.

Speaker 1 This episode of Two Out Takes is brought to you by Wayfair. This is not your first rodeo.
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Speaker 1 Here is where we're really getting into it. Oh, God.
This is four years old, but it must be red.

Speaker 1 It is coming from Am I the Asshole titled, Am I the Asshole for Wanting to Wear My Traditional Clothes to My Future Wedding?

Speaker 1 You see where this is going.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 Hey, Reddit. I recently got engaged to the love of my life, and we've started wedding planning.
So, a little bit of background. We live in the USA.

Speaker 1 She is white, and I am a first-generation Nigerian immigrant turned citizen.

Speaker 2 Hey, Nigeria stand up.

Speaker 1 In my tribe, when getting married to a Westerner, it is customary to have two weddings. The first is a Western wedding, a classic American wedding.

Speaker 1 Basically, what we all know when we think of a wedding.

Speaker 1 The second wedding is a traditional wedding where we use our tribal customs, i.e., wear our tribal clothing and everything that comes with being an Igbo man.

Speaker 2 Haha.

Speaker 2 That's my tribe too. Is it? Igbo, yeah.
Igbo. Yeah.
Igbo man. Okay.

Speaker 1 That comes with being an Igbo man. Haha.

Speaker 2 Love that you connect that much. Okay, cool.

Speaker 1 Well, my fiancé said that she'd prefer to just have one wedding because the traditional wedding would usually have to take place in Nigeria.

Speaker 1 I told her that I would still like to wear my traditional clothing. This is ideally what it would look like.
And then he includes a picture.

Speaker 1 My mom knows a really good seamstress who can get it done for me. Well, basically, her problem boils down to me standing out like a sore thumb.

Speaker 1 And that she thinks it's not appropriate for an occasion such as a wedding.

Speaker 1 I tried to explain to her that in my culture, this clothing is regal attire, and it is seen as very classy by those in my culture.

Speaker 1 Look, she is not a bridezilla. Let's get that out of the way right now.
I've handed all the reins to her with regards to planning our wedding because that's what she wants.

Speaker 1 But this is the only thing I ask for, and she's not letting me have it. It really means a lot to me to be connected to my culture.

Speaker 1 I was born in Nigeria, but I have lived 90% of my life here in the States. But I speak Igbo.
I eat Nigerian food whenever I'm able to. And this is very important to me.

Speaker 2 Huh.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 I have a solution for this.

Speaker 2 Do you want to jump right into this?

Speaker 2 Let's go.

Speaker 2 The solution is

Speaker 2 you can still wear the westernized bride and groom outfit, but add certain elements of the culture to the outfit, right?

Speaker 2 So for example, if he's going to wear a suit, his bow tie will be maybe traditional print. In Nigeria, we have ankara print, right? So make the bow tie ankara print.
Oh, I like that.

Speaker 2 Or maybe like the thing that's in the pocket can be, you know, the same ankara like the traditional print.

Speaker 1 The pocket square.

Speaker 2 The pocket square. Yeah, it could be traditional prints.
or, you know, there can be stripes on the side.

Speaker 2 Not me becoming a fashion designer, but the stripes on the side of the suit can be like, you know, there's elements to that. So that's the easy solution that I would have given him.

Speaker 2 But considering this, I'm like, I love that he also put, she's not a Brazila because he doesn't want us to check her. But I'm going to check her like, girl.
This is so important to your man.

Speaker 2 The culture is important.

Speaker 2 He needs to show the element of his culture. You know, I'm a culture girl.
I'm standing right beside him. That's not my man, but I'm sticking beside him.
He needs to wear that traditional wear.

Speaker 2 Call it off. Yeah.
Oh, call it off. I would literally say, this would be,

Speaker 1 this would be it for me. If she has such a problem letting him be representative of his culture, what's important to him,

Speaker 1 you're marrying the wrong person.

Speaker 2 That's wrong person. Like, girl.
That's the wrong person.

Speaker 2 You could tell this is so important to him. He eats Nigerian food.
He loves, you know, being able to, Be in touch with his culture. Let him wear the outfit.

Speaker 2 It's like, is it because of her, it doesn't match her aesthetic of her wedding like and i get it because that's how brides are but like no no no if it's so important okay okay let's see because you're you're planning probably planning your wedding yeah would you let your fiance wear like uh let's say he's obsessed with clowns Would you wear him wear like a clown suit to the wedding?

Speaker 2 No, but like if he That's not even a good analogy because I'm not saying that my culture is similar to clown outfit, right? Well, let's say he's thinking of something bizarre.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like if he was Scottish and wanted to wear a kilt I'd be like, let's fucking go. Do it, right?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yes. Wear something that represents you and your culture.
Like, I think that's so beautiful. And I was trying to look at the link he provided, and the link is broken these days.

Speaker 1 But is this something that would be a traditional

Speaker 2 very much? Okay.

Speaker 1 I think that is.

Speaker 2 It's very rigor, right? You look a king. Like, you show up and show up.
That's how Nigerians are. When we show up to places, we like to make sure y'all know that we are stepped up in the room.

Speaker 2 Like, we look very, like, lots of vibrant colors.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the headpiece the necklace the the chief hat which looks like basically like a chief title hat yeah like a king you know and it's like to me i think that even looks better than the simple normal every time westernized like bride and groom outfit like it just adds an extra flavor i love it um

Speaker 2 right to give you updates on what we do in our culture now uh we do

Speaker 2 We always do the white wedding and white wedding is called the Western. That's what we call the Western wedding.
We call the white wedding and the traditional wedding.

Speaker 2 What people tend to do is, like my sister, they she didn't get to go home to Nigeria to do her traditional wedding, but she did all her wedding in America and she did the white wedding in the church.

Speaker 2 And then when she came to the reception, there was an alpha change. I love that.
And then she got to wear like the regal, like very nice royal blue outfit with the headscarf and everything.

Speaker 2 It was so beautiful, you know? And that was a way to represent both cultures. I love that's like a solution.
But this girl right here, that's not your wife. That's, that's not his wife.

Speaker 2 And I want to know

Speaker 2 they got married or not. They probably did.

Speaker 1 I didn't even think to look for an update, like being four years old.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 If they did, then. Because that's the kind of person that's going to be like, no, don't put up that statue of, you know, your Igbo culture.
No. No, I don't want my kids to speak Ego because, you know.

Speaker 1 That's what I was going to point out.

Speaker 1 Where does the line get drawn? Yeah. Is she just really, I don't want that as a part of our wedding day outfit and pictures, whatever? Or is it, no, you can't speak Nigerian to our kids.

Speaker 1 No, you can't make that food. No, you can't.
Like, where does it end?

Speaker 2 I don't want my kids eating Nigerian food. I don't want my kids going to Nigeria.
I don't want my kids. That's what's going to happen.
It's going to be a dictatorship.

Speaker 2 She's going to want her kids to be American. Whereas, like, no, end of the day, those kids are Nigerian-American because that's both of their cultures.

Speaker 2 Nah, nah, he needs to run.

Speaker 2 Run.

Speaker 1 I got such bad vibes.

Speaker 2 Big, big, big, bad vibes. Nah.

Speaker 1 And I think, like, if, say, like, I was marrying this person, I would want to be able to wear that outfit as well. Like, I would want to participate in that.

Speaker 2 That's beautiful. I love that.

Speaker 1 You have your, you know, I love what your sister did. Like, you have your traditional, like, you want the churchy type pictures.
You want the white dress. That's cool.

Speaker 1 But then show up to the party in something fun.

Speaker 2 Like, have you seen, have you seen videos on like our weddings when they like spray money? No. Yeah.
So at the traditional wedding, all weddings, we need like a money dance.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we, not money, anytime when the bride and groom is dancing, we spray money at them and they get to keep them on that floor all night.

Speaker 2 I have so many videos of me and this actually happens in real life. Sometimes I'm dancing on my own and then money just like lands on my foot and I'm like, it's mine now.
Put in my titties.

Speaker 1 I was walking through.

Speaker 2 Where was it? I think it was a strip club here in LA.

Speaker 1 And the money just kept getting stuck to my shoe.

Speaker 2 And I'm like, I can't keep this, but it's like, it wants to come home. Is it getting stuck or is it meant to be?

Speaker 1 No, but oh man, I would get the money gun.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, yeah, that is the money gun. I'd really go crazy.
So, but my sister had that at her wedding. Her sister's wedding, Nigeria weddings are massive or huge.
And here's what I was thinking too.

Speaker 2 I was out when you first started reading, I thought it was going to go the route of, I don't want to do both weddings because of the cost. Yeah.
That's when I understand.

Speaker 2 Because my sister's wedding, she did in Nigeria. She did the traditional wedding first.
And then

Speaker 2 the next day she did her white wedding. Yeah.

Speaker 2 her traditional wedding had like a thousand plus people come holy smokes and you do all the all the cultural rituals of like you pay the bride price of the of um the daughter of the wife basically not like it's like paying a dowry like you're buying her but you have to pay her not just money but also there's a list of things that the the um the bride's dad gives the groom to buy so what did your dad give um cows you have to buy multiple cows multiple goats um yams and different crops and foods, bags of rice, because those foods they share to the community too.

Speaker 2 Right. Oh, my God.
So, yes, that's a way of proving that the man is

Speaker 2 wealthy enough or has enough earnings and is mature enough and the provider man for this generation, the provider man can provide for the daughter.

Speaker 1 That's so cool. I love the community aspect too.
And I mean, a thousand people, that's like,

Speaker 1 that is my town basically where I grew up.

Speaker 2 You look around like, who are these people? But okay, I'm getting married. As long as they're throwing those dollar bills, you know, let's go, baby.

Speaker 2 Oh, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing.
Of course.

Speaker 1 I really, really appreciate it.

Speaker 2 If she was smart, she would have done the traditional so she can get some coins. Pay for it.

Speaker 2 At the end of the day, all that money that's spread, you count it up, and that's money that you get to refund from the money spent on your wedding.

Speaker 1 She's just not thinking

Speaker 2 at all. She doesn't know best.

Speaker 1 What do you think the vote on this one is?

Speaker 2 Sorry, when you say vote, what do you mean?

Speaker 1 that? So, do you think people were like, ah, yeah, you're the asshole for wanting that? Or no, not the asshole.

Speaker 2 Oh, not the asshole.

Speaker 1 You would be right. Top comment.
Your fiancé might not be a bridezilla, but she sure as hell doesn't respect your culture.

Speaker 1 Why marry someone who expects you to hide yourself and assimilate?

Speaker 1 What do you think that's going to mean for your children? Hey,

Speaker 2 you see, we're saying that. We're saying that.
Say it does know best. Come on.
Not the asshole.

Speaker 1 But you are the asshole if you let her disrespect you like this.

Speaker 2 That's a good one. Oh, he probably read that and is like, me, I'm not the asshole.
No, she's the asshole. I can't let her disrespect me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I don't see any comments from OP. There's no update on the account.
The account's been suspended.

Speaker 1 I tried putting it in Google to like see if there was an update that someone might have copied and pasted. Nothing.

Speaker 1 But a lot of comments being like, Nigerian weddings are freaking gorgeous.

Speaker 1 I still regularly stock a guy I went to college with just to look at his wedding photos.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 No, Nigerian weddings are amazing. They go above and beyond.
It's like,

Speaker 2 some of them are like ridiculously regal. It's like, why are y'all spending this much money on the wedding? But why not? Why not? If you got it, do it.
If you don't take a loan, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 My brother, like,

Speaker 1 we were just talking about this recently. He put his wedding on their credit cards, 35, 40K, just on the credit cards.
Oh, just like that. Just like that.

Speaker 2 I'm like, that's that's a lot. That's scary.
A wedding's called, I swear, I went to a wedding recently. It was definitely a Nigerian wedding.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 They definitely spent more than $100,000 on the wedding.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because if you see the amount of things they had, like from the venue alone, when you walk in, you're just like, whoa, open bar, of course, and like the decor, the flowers. It was so like.

Speaker 2 elegant and just

Speaker 1 oh my gosh that's like i would love to have that

Speaker 2 But wait, how do you want your wedding? Yeah, let's talk about that.

Speaker 1 It's going to be like a little carnival.

Speaker 2 Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Have you ever gone to neon carnival?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was thinking like Coachella, like the carnival.

Speaker 1 It's like neon carnival, but on my family's farm and a shit ton of flowers.

Speaker 2 That's and then venue-free, right?

Speaker 1 Cheap. Save the money on the venue.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's a big red barn. It's like my family has lived on the property for like 100 years.

Speaker 2 So it's just like, it's. holds a special place.
That's so special. That's so.

Speaker 1 And I'm going to have a beer donkey. So there's going to be a donkey walking around serving people beer.
That's all I want. I just want the beer burrow.

Speaker 2 Now, I've never seen that in my life, and I can't wait to see the pictures and videos. Please.
You can come.

Speaker 1 Stop it. Minnesota, September of 2025.

Speaker 2 Where's Minnesota?

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I'm so bad with geography.
That's like, that's like South Middle America.

Speaker 1 Middle America, North. Middle America.
On the border of Canada. There's Minnesota.
If you're looking at a map, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa, Illinois, Wisconsin. Wow.

Speaker 2 So is it cold there? Yeah. Summer wedding or no?

Speaker 1 September. So inching into fall, ideally 75 and sunny.

Speaker 2 I just want to pull up, girl. That'd be a whole different experience.
I do videos about going to different weddings. Like, I've been to many Nigerian weddings.
Okay.

Speaker 2 I've not done one of like a very American wedding. I don't know what happens there.

Speaker 1 There's going to be horses in the carrot corral. You can feed them.

Speaker 1 There's going to be a camel. Ooh.

Speaker 2 That sounds so fun. Yeah, you got to come.
Wait, don't revoke this invite now. Yeah, I heard it.

Speaker 2 It's all take. Don't cut this part out.

Speaker 1 I want it to be a just big party.

Speaker 1 Like, I just want it to be such a big party, like, less wedding, more just like party about us getting married. I love that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. It's, it's, it's, and that's worth remembering and not going to be as stressful planning, right?

Speaker 2 Cause it's going to be meaningful, like a place that's meaningful, but the people that means a lot. That's what I'm hoping for.
I love that.

Speaker 1 I'm hoping for that. Okay, let's move along to this one.
We cover a lot of hot takes on this show, but here's something that's just a smart take. staying in control of your body after unprotected sex.

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Speaker 1 Follow Plan B on Insta at plan B one step use as directed. This next one had me so heated.

Speaker 1 It's coming from AITAH. It's four days old, titled, Am I the Asshole for Reporting My Boss After He Forced Me to Attend a Meeting Despite Knowing That I Was in Labor?

Speaker 2 Hey!

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 1 I, 28 female, have been working at my company for five years. And until recently, I loved my job.
I was eight months pregnant when this happened about a month ago.

Speaker 1 So I started having contractions while at work. Since I was not due yet, I thought it was just Braxton Hicks because they weren't that intense.

Speaker 1 Just a week before that, I'd experienced Braxton Hicks and went to the hospital, but it was a false alarm.

Speaker 1 This time, I was still working when the contractions started in the morning, and I again thought it was just Braxton Hicks. I didn't want to cause a scene, so I tried to keep working.

Speaker 1 Last time I went to the hospital, my boss, John, 45 male, made sarcastic comments about me being overly dramatic and joked about how I should schedule my labor around important meetings.

Speaker 1 I have social anxiety and tend to take people's crap without pushing back. So I just took it.

Speaker 1 By noon, the contractions were getting stronger and closer together, and I knew it was real labor. I needed to go to the hospital.
I informed John that I was in labor and I needed to leave.

Speaker 1 He rolled his eyes and said, quote, quote, just stay for the meeting at 1 p.m. It's crucial and we need you here.

Speaker 1 I was stunned. I reiterated that I was in active labor and needed to go to the hospital immediately.
John snapped back, quote, It's just a meeting. Sit through it and then you can go.

Speaker 1 It's not like the baby is going to pop out right now.

Speaker 1 Feeling pressured and scared from my job, I reluctantly stayed.

Speaker 2 She stayed.

Speaker 1 The meeting lasted an excruciating two hours. By the end of it, I was in so much pain that I could barely walk.
I finally left and drove myself to the hospital,

Speaker 1 where I was admitted immediately. My husband got there 30 to 40 minutes later because he was on the other side of town.
My daughter was born later that evening, thankfully healthy despite the delay.

Speaker 1 When I told my husband what had happened, he was furious and insisted we report John to HR. Yeah.
I was hesitant because I didn't want to jeopardize my job, but I agreed it was the right thing to do.

Speaker 1 HR was appalled and assured me that they would handle the situation. John has since been suspended pending an investigation.
The real kicker?

Speaker 1 During the investigation, it came out that John had emailed the entire office while I was in labor, complaining about my, quote, lack of commitment and making fun of me for overreacting.

Speaker 2 Oh, no.

Speaker 1 He even implied that I was using my pregnancy as an excuse to get out of work.

Speaker 1 Now, my coworkers are pissed at me, saying I overreacted and that I should have just sucked it up for the sake of the company. I've even received messages.

Speaker 2 Is this the White House? Like, what is going on? It can't be that important.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I've even received messages and emails from a few colleagues saying that I've ruined John's career

Speaker 1 and that he was just doing his job under pressure. One even said that I should have toughed it out like their wife did during her pregnancy.

Speaker 1 The stress from this whole ordeal has made it difficult to enjoy my first few days with my newborn.

Speaker 1 I'm constantly second-guessing myself and feeling guilty, despite knowing I did what was best for my baby and me. To make matters worse, the interim manager who took over from John is even worse.

Speaker 1 He's made it clear to everyone that he resents my actions and has made my return to work unbearable. Now that my maternity leave is over, I find myself isolated at work.

Speaker 1 People give me side-eyes and whisper about me. During lunch, I'm alone because no one wants to sit with the troublemaker.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 1 It feels like high school all over again.

Speaker 2 That was his high school? Literally.

Speaker 1 I dread going back into work each day and facing the hostility and judgment.

Speaker 1 I never imagined that doing what was right for my health and my baby's well-being would turn my colleagues against me like this.

Speaker 1 It's gut-wrenching to feel so isolated and vilified for simply standing up for myself and my rights.

Speaker 1 I cry most of the time when I come home and sometimes even in the office washroom when someone passes and says a comment.

Speaker 1 In the worst moments, I get mad at my husband and blame him for making me tell HR, even though I know he did the right thing. He's so sweet and never takes it to heart.

Speaker 1 I apologize soon after, but he always says he wasn't even mad and that he understands how I'm feeling, especially since I'm just one month postpartum.

Speaker 1 He says I should take action and complain, but I don't want to make things even worse. He also says he can't see me like this and that I should just quit because it's hurting him.

Speaker 1 I don't know what to do. I'm just such a sensitive and emotional person in general, and now it's been worse since giving birth.

Speaker 1 So, am I the asshole for reporting my boss after he forced me to attend a meeting despite knowing I was in labor?

Speaker 2 Girl, suck it up. I'm sorry.
That's my hot take. She needs to suck it up and complain.
Suck it up and quit. Find a new job.
Like, the pay cannot be that good.

Speaker 2 Like, if it's not, if it's not a million dollars a year, I don't, I don't know why she's still there. Leave.
Your husband can support you. Leave.

Speaker 1 What the heck? I'm blown away.

Speaker 2 I was feeling really bad for her, but now I'm like, okay, girl, we get it. You're sensitive.
You're nice. You're kind.
But sensitive, nice, and kind is not going to be okay for your mental health.

Speaker 2 You need sometimes you need to stand up for yourself. Like, girl, the fact that she stayed too when she was in labor,

Speaker 2 she's stronger than she thinks.

Speaker 1 I, oh, if it would have been me in that meeting, I would have literally been like, oh,

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 1 I would have, I would have made them ask me to fucking leave. You want me to stay in this meeting while I'm in labor?

Speaker 2 On a ball. Like,

Speaker 1 I would have made them regret having me stay. She is too nice.
She is too nice.

Speaker 2 Too nice.

Speaker 1 I just want to give her a fucking hug because I know how fucking terrible this is.

Speaker 2 No, I actually, she got me mad. I wanted to give her a hug in the beginning of the story.
But towards the end, I'm like, first of all, this is America. You got Sue.
Sue and get money.

Speaker 2 You know how much coins she can get?

Speaker 2 That amount of coins you can get from this lawsuit? This is a big shit.

Speaker 2 You don't need to go back to work.

Speaker 2 You'll be good. Sue.

Speaker 1 Sue.

Speaker 1 I think there are some people that are so scared of rocking the boat. And you shouldn't be.
Don't be too nice. It doesn't pay to be too nice.

Speaker 1 Get your fucking bag.

Speaker 2 Rock that boat. Do it.
Like, Aaliyah, rock a double. Rock a double.

Speaker 2 Let's go. Come on.
Get out. Like,

Speaker 2 it's annoying because I can't even imagine. Like, what if something happened while she was in that

Speaker 2 in the meeting?

Speaker 1 Literally, a pregnancy freaks me out. That's kind of scary.
I literally, I think about it. I'm like, I don't understand how our bodies can do it.
Like, it,

Speaker 1 so much respect for people are

Speaker 2 strong.

Speaker 2 Oh, strong. Even like, because I have sisters too, so I know how it is.
Your body changes completely. Completely.

Speaker 1 Your life. Some people lose their teeth.
That one blows my mind.

Speaker 1 That one blows my mind. There's a, there's a girl with a list.

Speaker 2 And that list is a little scary.

Speaker 1 But what if like there's so many things that can happen? Like, I saw one the other day, like, little, the

Speaker 1 fucking umbilical cord can, like, wrap around and like cause distress. Yeah.
There's a magnitude of issues.

Speaker 2 Then you're not responsible for a whole human being after that.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I don't even have to do that.
You got to wake up when they wake up.

Speaker 2 You can't sleep until they sleep.

Speaker 1 I need like eight to 10 hours of sleep a night.

Speaker 1 Otherwise, I'm

Speaker 2 not going to fast. You can't even take naps.

Speaker 2 It's, it's, yeah. It's not going to go well for me.
No, it'll go well. You'll be a great mom.

Speaker 1 You'll be a great mom. I think once they're two.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Before that, it's

Speaker 1 looking a little dicey.

Speaker 2 It's, but no, she needs to get an attorney, get a lawyer, quit the job. Yes.
HR was already mad. HR was on your side.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Go back to HR again.

Speaker 1 Get this other one under investigation. I'm like, who works?

Speaker 2 Who are the coworkers that are giving her a side eye, bombastic side eyes? Like, why? She feels like Amazon.

Speaker 1 Doesn't it feel like America?

Speaker 2 Amazon's vibe?

Speaker 1 Like all of those people peeing in bottles in the warehouse.

Speaker 2 I didn't hear about that one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because they couldn't take breaks.

Speaker 1 So they were peeing in bottles. There's piss bottles all over the Amazon warehouses.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. Yeah.
You get a package, you're waiting for a package like for two days and you see it is like

Speaker 1 a bottle of piss.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh. I'll be pissed.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 This one pisses me off. What are the people saying? Top comment.
HR knows that if something had happened to you and your baby, the company would have been in deep, deep trouble.

Speaker 1 Your manager could have really damaged them. That's why he's in trouble.
Now they're about to screw themselves over again. Not your fault.
Have no pity. Yeah.
Next comment down.

Speaker 1 And have no mercy.

Speaker 1 They're going out of their way to screw with OP's work environment. There are both federal and state laws against what is being done for a reason.
Exactly. OP needs to nail them to the wall.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yep. Ooh.
I love.

Speaker 2 I don't know if I'm about to say this, but we'll figure out if I want to keep this or not. I love suing.
That's like,

Speaker 2 I had a law case with Uber. Again, we'll decide.

Speaker 2 We'll decide if we want to keep this or not. But I had a law case with Uber because I got an Uber accident on my way.
It was like three years ago. On my way to a date.

Speaker 2 On my way to a date,

Speaker 2 we're on the highway, on the whatever LA Highway is called. And a car slams into the back of my car.
And I go flying. And my hip still hurts to today.
Like, I busted my hip. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 I go on a date and went on a date with this guy a couple of times and it was terrible. So I should have taken that as a sign.
Like, bro, you got to ask him for a date.

Speaker 2 Clearly, you're not supposed to keep dating this guy, this sign from God. But I didn't listen.
I learned my lesson. But the good thing for me was, like, I sued Uber and I got a really good check.

Speaker 2 And that's when I realized: I'm like, oh, this country has laws and stuff like that. You can sue and get your coin.
So this girl,

Speaker 2 she's missing out on the bag. She wants to keep reporting.
That's the thing.

Speaker 2 Nine out of five, the job is not that important. Life, your life is more important.

Speaker 1 That's the thing. I

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 don't quit because you definitely have a lawsuit here. Like, you don't want to go out willingly.
You want a severance package. Like, she only got one month maternity leave.

Speaker 1 Can we talk about how fucked up?

Speaker 2 That's all she got?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 How fucked up this country is on mandated maternity and paternity leaves. There's not any paternity leave.

Speaker 2 Other countries get a year.

Speaker 1 Canada is amazing.

Speaker 2 And they get baby boxes.

Speaker 2 They get baby boxes.

Speaker 1 They get baby boxes. Like, I think it's Finland sends out like a baby box.
in Sweden. They send out a baby box.

Speaker 1 You get like a shit ton of diapers, formula, a bassinet, like all this shit in a baby box. Wow.

Speaker 2 I mean, it's just, it's just so, this country is so interesting. How it's like the best country in the world.
Interesting. Very interesting.
The best country in the world.

Speaker 2 But there's so many things that needs fixing. I know.
So many. So many.
I know. First of all, yeah, first thing is the healthcare.
Healthcare? Yeah. That's the first thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Let's get that fixed.
Everything. Everything.
But someone does make a good point here. and they go, she should sue, even if it isn't for herself.
She should sue the ever-loving shit out of them.

Speaker 1 So in the future, maybe they won't do it to another woman who is even less capable of standing up for herself.

Speaker 2 That sentence hurt me.

Speaker 2 Another woman is not capable of standing up for themselves. It's like, come on, like, ladies,

Speaker 2 we got to see our worth and really just like stick up for ourselves. Like in this life, all you got is yourself.

Speaker 2 I don't care if you got a husband, your mother, your cousin, like you have to be sticking up for yourself for yourself because no one else is gonna stick up for you. And even if they do,

Speaker 2 you're not gonna have, always have someone next to you. Like that lady, if not for her husband pushing her, she wouldn't have said anything, right?

Speaker 1 What an amazing partner.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like truly.

Speaker 1 And then for him to be like, just quit. I can't see you like this.
Like it's hurting me. Quit.

Speaker 2 And I wonder why. Did she want to keep working? Because she wanted to be like, I can,

Speaker 2 I can, like, do it.

Speaker 1 I I don't know. What was it? I wonder if it's like income, if she's just like nervous about income and like new baby and like trying to support.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's a lot of different factors. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But it's sad because, like, I mean, I'm sure there's times in your life, career, whatever, where it's like, you've had to be smaller than, you know, what you wanted to be, or you haven't spoken up in a moment just to silence, rock the boat.

Speaker 1 And it's like, it does happen a lot.

Speaker 2 What was that? Is there a TikTok that says, were you silenced or or were you silenced?

Speaker 2 I think it was Oprah.

Speaker 2 Well, I was on. It was like the interview with Megan Markle

Speaker 1 and Prince Harry. And she was like, were you silent or were you silenced?

Speaker 2 And if I'm going, like, listen or down, were you silent or were you silenced? Literally.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what it's giving.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Last comment I'll read. It's not about the money.
It's about sending a message.

Speaker 2 Nah, it's about the money. The message, yes, but it's about the money.
Send it. Because the money will be, it will be,

Speaker 2 have her comfortable. Yeah.
She'll be chilling. You know how expensive diapers baby formulas are? She'll be comfortable.
As she should be. Yeah.

Speaker 2 The message, yes, is important.

Speaker 2 But the money.

Speaker 1 Send it.

Speaker 2 I love money. Send.

Speaker 1 Hit. Send.
Send it. Okay.
Next one.

Speaker 1 So I saw a video where you gave J-Lo a Nigerian name.

Speaker 2 Omi? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yes, yes. I gave her,

Speaker 2 what did I give her?

Speaker 2 Ifunaya. Yep.
Ifunaya means

Speaker 2 love in my language, Igbo. And, you know, J-Lo is a certified lover girl.
I mean, we've seen all her relationships. We've seen them.
She loves. She just loves

Speaker 2 a big heart and she just loves love. And that's why I gave her the name Ifunaya.
I love that.

Speaker 1 What would you give me?

Speaker 2 Ooh.

Speaker 1 You can think about it too.

Speaker 2 I'll think about it. I'll think about it.
I'll follow up.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this one, it is titled, Am I the Asshole for Telling My Friend It's Weird to Give His Daughter a Nigerian name when he isn't even Nigerian?

Speaker 2 Okay, that's not good.

Speaker 2 Oh, let me think about it. It depends.
If it's coming from a culture appreciation way,

Speaker 2 but it also

Speaker 2 can be weird.

Speaker 1 It's a fine line. It's a fine line.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Let's hear.
Let's get into this story. Let's get into this.

Speaker 1 One of my best friends from childhood, we'll call him Jake, is having a baby with his fiancé.

Speaker 1 My friend is biracial, half black, half white, but he was entirely raised by his white mom and white stepdad. His girlfriend is black, but again, she's not Nigerian or from Africa.

Speaker 2 So good, so good, so good.

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Speaker 2 That's why you rack.

Speaker 1 I am white. I mean no offense to my friend, but he grew up around mostly white people.

Speaker 1 And it was only in college when he went through this phase where he started to really try and be more, quote, black

Speaker 1 and hang around black people more and behave more about what people perceive people that are black should act like. And I think some part of it was an act, but whatever.

Speaker 1 Another note is that his fiancé isn't really a huge fan of me. And apparently, when she first met me, she got the impression I was racist.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 I wonder why. I wonder why.

Speaker 1 I don't really know why, but that kind of soured our relationship. But we're friendly and cordial to each other.

Speaker 1 So when I was hanging out with Jake a few days ago, he was trying to order monogrammed pillows or something cheesy like that, and then revealed that they were naming their daughter Morayo.

Speaker 2 Okay, Morayo. Morayo.
Like Motorayo. Morayo.
Okay, I don't know what that name means. It's not my tribe, but it is a Nigerian name.

Speaker 1 Which is a Nigerian name, apparently. He kept gushing over the name, and I personally just thought it was weird to name your kid a name from a country you know literally nothing about.

Speaker 1 So I asked, quote, are you sure you want to give your kid a Nigerian name? I mean, you guys aren't Nigerian.

Speaker 1 He seemed offended offended and said, quote, yeah, but we're black and we have roots from Nigeria anyways. So I probably should have let it go.

Speaker 1 But then I said, in a mostly joking matter, quote, so if I took a DNA test and found out I'm 1% African, should I give my kid a Nigerian name?

Speaker 2 This girl's stressing me out.

Speaker 1 Jake got mad and cursed at me a few times and said that tons of black names are African or Arabic and that I should mind my own white business. Yes.
And I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 Exactly.

Speaker 1 He did change the subject after that, but I can tell it bothered him. Shortly after, his fiancé publicly revealed the name on social media and people started gushing about it.

Speaker 1 And his fiancé made a comment on Facebook about how she was glad they liked it and quote, some of Jake's friends thought it was too African.

Speaker 2 Ah, LOL.

Speaker 2 Not the shade.

Speaker 1 She knows I follow her and obviously posted that for me to see it. Am I the asshole here? I'm conflicted.

Speaker 1 Like, I didn't think it was a big enough deal for Jake to go rat on me to his fiancé, who he knows doesn't really like me. But maybe I was out of line to criticize the name choice.

Speaker 2 Maybe. First of all, I think she's in love with Jake because homegirl needs to mind her business.

Speaker 1 Something fishy's going on. Something fishy, like overstepping.

Speaker 2 Over clearing.

Speaker 2 Like, she has overstepped and squashed her way into a business that does not involve her. If that's not your child, why do you care that much?

Speaker 2 Even the fact that you go on Reddit and write a whole post to complain to try to look for people who are going to validate your opinion, not girl.

Speaker 2 And the thing is, there's a lot of names, American English names that we don't know the roots of.

Speaker 2 Charlie,

Speaker 2 Teresa, or like Andre, even Andrea, like my name. I don't know what the roots are, but you still name your kids those names.

Speaker 1 Morgan, I'm pretty sure is like Welsh. See? Like, I feel like language is so crazy to me.

Speaker 1 Like, the fact that all of our languages have like descended through different things, like a lot is from Latin. Like,

Speaker 1 it's beautiful how it's really changed over time. But, like, at the same time, it's like they all have roots.

Speaker 1 And so, if someone feels a part of them is calling to a name that maybe has a different root, like, let them have it.

Speaker 2 Let them have it. Let them have it.
Like, why is this such a big deal to her? Like, maybe she doesn't like her name. And she's like, I wish I could change my name.
Like, girl. I know.

Speaker 2 It was, it's, it's just uncalled for.

Speaker 2 And I feel like the meaning of the name alone, it's like, like, I was thinking that it was an appreciation thing because they keep on like talking about how much they love the name. So there's that.

Speaker 2 She is the asshole. Yeah.
Definitely.

Speaker 1 I know. And there, I'm looking back at the post.
Unclear if our writer, OP, we call it OP original poster.

Speaker 2 Oh.

Speaker 1 Unclear if it's a girl or a guy. But I do read this as more feminine, almost like, well, his fiancé doesn't like me.
I have no idea why.

Speaker 2 Like, yeah, I got the vibe as like, lady, I think that is.

Speaker 2 I'm getting.

Speaker 1 I'm like,

Speaker 1 I also feel like a guy would never have said anything. Right.
A guy would have been like, well, that's cool, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like, what does it mean? Okay, good for you. Like, go ahead and do you, bro.

Speaker 1 There's, I just have so much wrong with this. And like, I feel like there's a lot of details being left out.
Like, the fact that Jake was like, we're black and we have roots from Nigeria anyways.

Speaker 2 Because you know how people, most, every black person originate, at least I believe every black person originate from Africa.

Speaker 2 And most people now that are in that diaspora, that's like Africans in America, black people in America, they're all trying to rediscover their roots, right?

Speaker 2 And they do the whole accessory DNA 23andMe. Yeah.
And they find out, oh, I'm like 5%

Speaker 2 from Ethiopia or like 40, 50% Ghanaian, Nigerian. And now they're all traveling back to go like, yo, let's see where my ancestors are from.
And it's such a beautiful thing. I love that.

Speaker 2 I understand where, and I hate the way she was explaining it, or he was explaining it.

Speaker 2 The OP was explaining how, like, Jake was looking into how to be more black, where it's like, he's just trying, he's just curious. We're all curious about like our identity

Speaker 2 and where we all, our origin story. And that's what it was for him.
And it was cool that he was doing that.

Speaker 2 And I even love even more that they're like, let's give her an African name so she can also stand out. People will know immediately, like, this is a child of royalty.
Yeah. You know?

Speaker 1 Or, and just like feeling so connected to then your heritage, because the way that our writer described this, where it was like, he was entirely raised by his white mom and white stepdad.

Speaker 1 He didn't hang out with black people until college. Like,

Speaker 1 how tough was that for him? Like, not having any friends that you can like relate to. Yes.
Dealing with like.

Speaker 1 racism and all of this stuff. Like

Speaker 1 maybe having a parent that doesn't even know how to do your hair. Like there's so much other context in that.
And it's like, okay, cool.

Speaker 1 So we finally maybe got a sense of community where he was not receiving that. Exactly.
And you're saying he was faking it? Right. Fuck you.
You do sound racist.

Speaker 2 People don't like when people change. That's just the truth.
And this is their friend from college, right? So

Speaker 1 childhood.

Speaker 2 Childhood, right? Childhood best friends. They people don't like.
It's like when you go back to your hometown and they're like, oh, you changed up. You different now.

Speaker 2 Oh, I hate that. It's like, no, I just evolved.
I just grew. I discovered who I was, and now I love myself.
Aren't we all growing? We're all growing. We should be.

Speaker 2 And this is another example of someone who's not growing and doesn't want people because when they see people like, oh, they're evolving. Oh, I'm being left behind.
I want to track them down.

Speaker 2 He said, people need, y'all need better friends on Reddit. Y'all, that circle of friends, no.
Like, that person is not Jake's friend and needs to be. He's a hater.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And why is everyone's name Jake?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know. Because I think the last one too was Jake.
I'm like, I know. Jake, the very loud guy, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I don't know.
God, you got a good little memory over there. Thank you.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is wild to me. I feel like there's so many times you should not give unsolicited opinions.
A baby name is one of them.

Speaker 2 Asking people when they're going to have kids. Oh, that's another big one.
Like, stop.

Speaker 1 Or like, even like being like, when are you guys getting engaged if you've been together for four or five years?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Ask fucking him when I'm not in the room.

Speaker 2 Right. Right.

Speaker 1 I'm like, I started crying towards the end.

Speaker 2 I was like, oh, I don't fucking know. How long were you guys dating for?

Speaker 1 Just like four and a half years, almost five.

Speaker 2 That's a good time. Oh, yeah.
Get almost almost the fifth one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was like, dude, you, after five, I'm like,

Speaker 2 you got to wrap it up.

Speaker 2 Baby, shit, or get off the pot.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I was like, like at a certain point, like, you know, or you don't know.

Speaker 1 And if you, if you don't know by now, like, yeah, we gotta go.

Speaker 2 Yeah. That's like an awkward stage.
It's like,

Speaker 2 okay. What's your other unsolicited advice? Yeah.

Speaker 2 I think like even just opinions about like, hmm.

Speaker 2 I always, I'm always careful because I always give advice, right? Like my friends always come to me for advice.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, because you know best. Yeah, period.

Speaker 2 Love you.

Speaker 2 So I always try to ask them like, are you telling me this problem because you want my advice or you just want me to listen? Yes. That's a thing I heard.

Speaker 2 I learned because I started realizing like, Dre, you're giving these that kind of advice.

Speaker 1 They're good, but it's not what they want to hear. They want want to hear.

Speaker 2 So we just want to just vent. We just want to vent it out.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I need to be more conscious of that because I just jump to solutions.
Yeah. And then they get, they like, they do, they get mad at you.

Speaker 2 And it's like, I'm just, I'm just trying to help. Yeah, it's like, help.

Speaker 2 So yeah, I gotta, I gotta ask.

Speaker 1 There is like, do you want comfort or do you want a solution? Like literally asking as someone's venting. I gotta, I gotta be more confident in myself that I can, I can ask that.

Speaker 2 No, you can't. There's a problem solver.
I mean, again, engineers, like I always want to just like, okay, what's going to be the solution for this? Yeah. And yeah.

Speaker 1 So, what type of engineering did you do?

Speaker 2 Industrial.

Speaker 2 So I worked in a warehouse doing process improvement from how the goods came into the warehouse to how they leave, tried to improve that process so it can come out of the warehouse in time.

Speaker 1 Is that like what supply chain management apartment? What like supply chain?

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Exactly. So fun.

Speaker 1 That's so crazy. Well, the good experience for you getting your card game already.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah. So when I have my warehouse for my card game, I'm working on, if y'all didn't know, it's called Sabi Slangs.

Speaker 2 Basically, it's, I go around the street teaching people Nigerian slangs, and people love it, right?

Speaker 2 So, I'm like, How can I bring this slangs to people's homes in a fun way where they can learn the slangs, but also play a competitive game that has challenges in it?

Speaker 1 Can people order this yet?

Speaker 2 Not yet, not yet, not yet, not yet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but when you have the link ready, send it myself. I sure will, and we'll put it in the description of this episode.

Speaker 1 So, like, thank you, depending on when you're listening to this, you can buy Drea's card game. But yes, that's amazing.

Speaker 2 I'm aiming for like end of Q4, like December period. Okay, when I'm looking for manufacturers, and it's like, yeah,

Speaker 2 it's a legit thing. So much work.

Speaker 1 I know. I have an idea for a card game.
I'm coming to you.

Speaker 2 I'll be like, oh, I got you. I got you.

Speaker 1 Of course. What do you think the vote on this one is?

Speaker 2 Let me think about it.

Speaker 2 Because, again, this is a racial thing, too. And I'm thinking about Reddit, the demographic on Reddit.
I think it might be a little bit mixed.

Speaker 2 I think it might be a little bit mixed because.

Speaker 2 No, actually, no, no, no. They're going to be against the OP, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 OP is the asshole.

Speaker 2 Yes, God.

Speaker 1 Top comment has been deleted, but the next one down, you're the asshole. I think your buddy's girlfriend may have recognized your true self.

Speaker 2 And that happens because when you've had a friend for so long, you're so used to them. You don't see their flaws, right? You're like, that's just, that's just Rebecca.
That's just, you know,

Speaker 2 versus like when someone else looks at that friendship, they're like, That person is not treating you right. Yeah.
Or that person is not a good person.

Speaker 2 But you won't believe it until you finally experience, like maybe this experience of her or him being like an asshole towards that name kind of made Jake realize like I don't think my fiancé is probably right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you know, she sent something and I do think that happens a lot where like especially you've been friends since childhood and it's like oh, that's just how so-and-so is you give them so many passes because of the history or you know, whatever the length of the relationship and it's like no, but like genuinely not a good friend to you.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 So and it's hard too when to realize when to like, okay, when it's time to cut the cord, a relationship since childhood is a hard one. Like, it's time to start putting a distance between that person.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really challenging. Next comment down.
Seriously, just my first impression after reading this post, it sounds like OP doesn't have issues with the name.

Speaker 1 He has issues with his friend acting black.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 There's something there. Like, whether it's like you don't like the change you're seeing in your friend, but also like

Speaker 1 is the chain, the change like better for him, his mental health, his growth?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 Because it okay, because there's certain way the conversations, conversations may be going when he was acting, for example, more whites, quote unquote, it's like that friend that's probably racist could say a lot of unhinged things about like black people and Jake would just let it slide like, okay, yeah, yeah, you know, maybe you would probably say the n-word and Jake would just let it slide.

Speaker 2 That's a good example. Yeah.
Versus like now that Jake is now woke and he's now like, no, no, no, you can't be talking about that, about this race or this people. Like, don't be saying this.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 So now that OP is uncomfortable, it's no longer comfortable. The conversations are different.

Speaker 2 And, you know, people are not comfortable.

Speaker 2 They're not happy when they're uncomfortable. That's what I'm trying to say.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Something, something.

Speaker 2 Yeah. They don't like

Speaker 2 you have to,

Speaker 2 yeah. You have to choose your friends wisely

Speaker 2 for sure.

Speaker 2 And like

Speaker 2 when your friend, non-black friend or non-colored friend is not okay with your, with your blackness, at least for me, because when I show up in rooms, you're always going to know I'm Nigerian.

Speaker 2 My accent naturally just switches every now and then. I'm going to talk about how much I love my people.
I'm going to talk about how much I love black people. I love, you know, yeah.

Speaker 2 And some people are just not comfortable when it comes to like conversations they're not knowledgeable about

Speaker 2 because they're not knowledgeable about blackness. And they're just like, uh, not uncomfortable.
Instead of like him to be like, I'm open-minded. Hey, teach me more about your culture.

Speaker 2 Teach me more about this. What do you mean? Like, y'all, y'all do this.
What does this mean? Nah. So.

Speaker 1 That's so goofy. Cause here I am.
I'm like, give me all the slags. I'm like, I'm ready for the card game now.
No wahala.

Speaker 2 I'm ready.

Speaker 2 Let me at him. Let me incompetent.
That's because you're a good person at heart. Right.
And maybe your upbringing. I don't know how your parents raised you or what it is.

Speaker 2 You're around diverse people. You probably grew up in a white area, those people, right?

Speaker 1 And well, I did too. Like, my high school, like, it's northern Minnesota.
My whole town had 5,000 people at the time. I lived there.
So it's very small.

Speaker 1 But, like, I can't imagine just being closed-minded and not wanting to learn or experience new things or new cultures, new people. I'm just like, I can't imagine that.

Speaker 1 And that's what this person is giving

Speaker 1 small, closed-minded.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 we do have some growth

Speaker 1 because OP did have have an edit. Okay, I get it.
I'm the asshole. I'll apologize to my friend and his girlfriend.

Speaker 2 That's it?

Speaker 2 How did they realize they had the asshole?

Speaker 1 Everyone just attacking their ass in the comments.

Speaker 2 So this is really good. Power of Reddit, baby.
You don't need therapy. You just get Reddit.
You just get roasted.

Speaker 2 You'll get roasted in Reddit. That's it.
That's all you need.

Speaker 2 That doesn't happen very often, I will say.

Speaker 1 Really? A lot of times people will double down in the comments.

Speaker 2 Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Moving along, though.

Speaker 1 Okay, this next one is six days old, coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, Am I the Asshole for Making a Scene When My Brother's Girlfriend Tried to Protect Her Peace?

Speaker 2 Hmm.

Speaker 1 I don't know how to title the post. I do apologize.
My son is 11 months old and 97th percentile for height.

Speaker 1 He is a big ass baby, currently 36 inches tall, or about the size of your average two and a half year old, and he is already wearing three toddler clothing.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 However, despite him being so big, he is still just a baby, and most of his nutrition is still from breast milk. For the fourth, we had a big family cookout, and my brother invited his girlfriend.

Speaker 1 I live out of state, and I didn't want my flights to be too close together, so I'm staying a bit longer. My brother and his girlfriend are doing the same thing.

Speaker 1 My family is aware that my son is a baby, obviously, but my brother's girlfriend was not and was initially very shocked when she saw him misbehaving.

Speaker 1 We explained that he's still a baby, so he's still just exploring the world. She remained uncomfortable, but we mostly avoided each other.

Speaker 1 Because he's so big, feeding him is a chore, so I use an armchair as there isn't enough support elsewhere, and so there isn't much I can do about covering covering up.

Speaker 1 He gets sweaty under all the blankets and won't eat. It's been a tense couple of weeks.
Last night, I think we both kind of lost it. My son needed feeding and she was in the chair.

Speaker 1 I asked her if she could move, which she whined about, but did get up.

Speaker 2 She was in the chair, like feeding chair?

Speaker 1 I think it's like an armchair like this. Okay.
And she'll like rest the baby on like an armrest.

Speaker 2 Okay. I was like, girl, what's she doing in the feeding chair? Get up.

Speaker 1 Everything was fine for another hour or so until she demanded my brother pay for her to go to a hotel for the remaining nights because she can't cope with me and the baby.

Speaker 1 He asked what she meant, and she said that he's clearly big enough to be on real food, and I enjoy making her uncomfortable by feeding him in front of her.

Speaker 1 I got embarrassingly upset and told her that she should keep her mouth shut because she clearly doesn't know the first thing about parenting and certainly doesn't know anything about me or my son.

Speaker 1 We argued the same points for a little more until my son woke up from his nap and I left to collect him.

Speaker 1 She then, after telling us all loudly that she needs to protect her peace, which honestly is not a phrase I thought was real because she said it, my brother told me I was being immature and he left with her.

Speaker 1 My dad is on my side, but did tell me I should have removed myself from the situation as I'm a grown woman and she's still a teenager. I'm three years older than her, so I think that's bullshit.

Speaker 1 My mom is neutral, but is still trying to convince my brother to come home and ended up paying for their hotel. She thinks I could have been a lot more understanding.
Am I the asshole?

Speaker 1 Was I completely out of order?

Speaker 2 Hmm.

Speaker 2 What was the age thing that you said that you read?

Speaker 1 So, OP does not mention their age in the post. However, there is a comment that

Speaker 1 OP's brother's girlfriend is 19.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. Cause I heard something about she's still a teenager.

Speaker 1 Teenager, 19.

Speaker 2 19. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Hmm.

Speaker 2 I don't know. This one is a little bit tricky because if the girl is 19, she's young, immature, doesn't know anything about like kids.
Yeah. And

Speaker 2 it sounded like she had a big baby. It's not like the baby's big.
And like. You ready for that? Yeah, let me see how big.

Speaker 1 This baby is 36 inches

Speaker 2 tall

Speaker 1 at 11 months old

Speaker 2 that is a big big baby baby that's an nfl star you would think that's at least a four-year-old oh yeah no that's tall that's a long long long long that's a big baby look at this baby that's a big baby so

Speaker 2 I would

Speaker 2 I'm thinking of a mind of a teenager. Like, I don't want to sound like a bitch, but if that's me and I see this long baby, and it's just that big, let me say big, big baby.

Speaker 2 I'm like, aren't you supposed to be feeding it regular food? Like, why is it still sucking like your titty?

Speaker 2 That's, you know. And then sometimes it can make someone feel uncomfortable.
Not the act of breastfeeding. Now, the act of breastfeeding, I don't care.

Speaker 2 Breastfeeding public, breastfeeding private, it doesn't matter, right?

Speaker 1 Feed your baby wherever the fuck you're doing.

Speaker 2 But I'll feed your baby. I can't lie.
If I'm in public and I see such a big baby that looks like a four-year-old still

Speaker 2 getting breast milk, I'd be like, hmm, what's happening here?

Speaker 1 I've seen a four-year-old breastfeed in public. I didn't say a damn word, though.

Speaker 2 Oh, see, that's good.

Speaker 2 You don't know what you're saying. It's not your business.

Speaker 1 Like, you, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 You know, you keep plugging along. But you couldn't help it.
Just keep staring. I would keep staring because I'm like, I'm curious, like, what's happening here? Like,

Speaker 2 is formula too expensive? Or is it like.

Speaker 1 Hey, they want those antibodies.

Speaker 2 They want all that, all that good stuff that's in the juice. Yeah,

Speaker 2 all the natural the juice the most healthy way to get nutrients but yeah i tried breast milk recently stop it yeah stop it stop it just stop stop stop the cap do you have the video stop it why why morion why would you

Speaker 2 why

Speaker 1 couldn't you go to starbucks and get a latte so we've had a we have breast milk stories that pop up every once in a while And there was one where someone put breast milk in their niece's or nephew's ear for an ear infection.

Speaker 1 And the mom got pissed. And I was like, you know what? I'd like breast milk.
I'd like to, you know, put some in my ear. My ear hurts, whatever.

Speaker 1 So someone brought me breast milk to one of our live shows.

Speaker 2 Stop it. And so

Speaker 2 was it their breast milk that you brought you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they, you know, they told my fiancé, Justin, you know, met them and she goes, yep, it's straight from the tap.

Speaker 2 Fresh from the sauce. Fresh from the mortar.

Speaker 1 And then the husband was standing there next to her and he goes, yeah, it's pretty good. So we tried it after the show.
Um, we took breast milk shots, and yeah, Carrie's got the video.

Speaker 2 We need the receipts.

Speaker 2 I feel like this is the same thing.

Speaker 1 You could text it to me too, or airdrop it.

Speaker 2 What

Speaker 2 is this what we're doing now? This is what we're doing now. We're just we're just out here taking shots of breast milk.
Yeah, liquor too expensive.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And honestly, I was very, very surprised by the flavor.

Speaker 1 I'm very confused. So there's the vial of the milk.
That's the vial she brought it in. It was like an apothecary vial.
It was so fancy. And then the shots of breast milk are all lined up.
And me,

Speaker 1 Justin, and a couple of people that worked at the comedy club in Arizona, we all took these shots. You know, the milk that's left in a bowl of like cinnamon toast cracks.
We cheers. Yeah, we cheers.

Speaker 2 You cheers him with the shots. Yeah.
With the booby milk shot.

Speaker 2 Girl.

Speaker 2 Oh, you're about to take a sip. Can I put the audio? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And you have your...

Speaker 2 Not you sharing it to everybody in the room. Yeah.
How did it smell like?

Speaker 1 It didn't smell like anything, and it tasted great.

Speaker 1 So, you know, the milk that's left at the bowl of a cinnamon toast crunch cereal? I don't know if she was eating a lot of cinnamon. I don't know what the deal was.

Speaker 1 It tasted like cinnamon toast crunch milk.

Speaker 2 It was so good. Not your whole team, the whole team drinking breast milk.

Speaker 2 Carrie. Cut it.
Carrie. Everybody else.

Speaker 1 Lauren, one of our other husbands.

Speaker 2 This is like the end of your party, guys. End of your party.
Thank you for being such a great sport. Yeah.
We're all taking shots of breast milk. Yeah.
Fresh from the source.

Speaker 1 Straight from the tap, baby.

Speaker 1 Straight from the tap. That's what you're saying.

Speaker 2 You're a red Minnesota girl. Yeah, straight from the tap.
You know,

Speaker 1 so after that, I'm like, breast milk, boobs, you breastfeed me. You can baby wherever you want.

Speaker 2 Morgan, I can't look at at you the same. I know.
I'm sorry. I'm looking at your face.
I'm seeing a cup of milk right now.

Speaker 1 Just some titties.

Speaker 2 Yeah, titties, yeah. Just tap.

Speaker 1 Just tap.

Speaker 2 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 No, but, okay, back to this one.

Speaker 1 I don't think she's the asshole for breastfeeding her baby in the chair. She politely asked, hey, I need to feed my baby.
Can you get out of the chair? Says the girlfriend got out of the chair. Cool.

Speaker 1 But then for the girlfriend to be like, I need to protect my peace. I can't see this baby get fed anymore.

Speaker 1 I get she's 19.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But that does feel a little old

Speaker 1 to kind of like, I would never, like, even, even if I was uncomfortable with it, I would never make a scene.

Speaker 1 I would like pull my boyfriend aside and be like, hey, babe, can we go grab like, can you come with me and get a water?

Speaker 1 Hey, I'm just kind of uncomfortable. Like, do you think we could get a hotel? Like, do you think we could get some space? Right.

Speaker 1 I would never want to look like a jackass in front of my boyfriend's family. That's a little argument you have behind closed doors.

Speaker 2 People,

Speaker 2 I think, is an upbringing thing. I don't know what it is.

Speaker 2 But if you are raised to be respectful, the communication skills will be there. She could have communicated to, like you said, to her boyfriend.
Yeah. Hey, what's up with this kid?

Speaker 2 Like, isn't he too big? Like, what's happening? And then, because she said, like, she didn't know that the baby was 11 months, right? 11 months. It's 11 months.

Speaker 2 So if she knew that was an 11-month-old baby, she would have known, okay, that's, you know, it's Claire. It's just a big baby.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 big ass baby. Big ass baby.

Speaker 2 She says it herself.

Speaker 2 Big ass, long, long, longoose baby. Yeah, that's that problem solved.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 People know how to communicate. And I think it's just, it's just impulsive, man.
That's impulse.

Speaker 1 And I guess that does come with being 19. You know,

Speaker 1 you aren't the matureest person.

Speaker 2 And think about this generation is like instant gratification. Like, now, now, now.
So I'm uncomfortable. So you got to know now.
I'm uncomfortable. It's not like, hey, yeah, can we talk?

Speaker 2 Can we have a chat, please? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And in the same breath, like, I guess, like, because I was going to say, OP was like a little,

Speaker 1 I was going to say a little tacky for kind of clapping back at her after she said the, I need to protect my peace. Which, can I just tell you how much I hate that phrase?

Speaker 2 Why do you hate it? I don't know.

Speaker 1 It just feels like a cop-out where it's like, you need to protect your peace. So, you're too immature to communicate.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 1 okay, go

Speaker 1 protect your peace.

Speaker 2 Right. That's an easy question.
It just like

Speaker 1 it irks me.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I think she did kind of stoop a little bit. But at the same time, if you're getting shamed for breastfeeding your baby within your own home or your family's home, like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 She was uncomfortable with the breastfeeding. That's what she was uncomfortable with.

Speaker 1 That's what it's sounding like.

Speaker 2 Not with the fact that.

Speaker 2 the baby was too big to be breastfed

Speaker 2 or not too big, right?

Speaker 2 What made her, her, because that's what I'm trying to understand. Like why, if you're uncomfortable with the breastfeeding, like did she, would she be more comfortable if she covered the baby?

Speaker 2 Because I know she mentioned she doesn't cover the baby because the baby gets hot. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 1 Just looking at the comments from OP,

Speaker 1 she was just discomforted. It doesn't really elaborate like

Speaker 1 if she is uncomfortable because the baby is so big, but like,

Speaker 2 it's not your house.

Speaker 1 It's like kind of like tomato tomato. Like it's still an 11-month-old baby.
It doesn't matter the size.

Speaker 2 And it's not even her house.

Speaker 2 It's not her space. You are the guest.
So whatever is happening is happening is none of your business. Yeah.
You need to mind your business. M-Y-B.

Speaker 2 Mind your business. That's literally, literally it.
Like,

Speaker 2 you are a guest here. This is her boyfriend's place, right?

Speaker 1 The family's place. Yeah.
The family's place.

Speaker 2 Her boyfriend's like. Boyfriend's family.
Do you not want the boyfriend's family to like you? That's my thought. Yes.
Coming in here having all these opinions. Yes.

Speaker 2 All this, like, trying to make things...

Speaker 2 Like, girl, shut up and be a cute little darling girlfriend so you can have future in-laws.

Speaker 2 That's, that's.

Speaker 2 That's a solution.

Speaker 1 Literally. Opie's out here in the comments.

Speaker 2 She's clapping back, huh?

Speaker 1 She's, she's got, you know, some support, it seems. So top comment is, I know how you feel.
My boys are 6'6 and 6'5, respectively.

Speaker 1 It looked like they should have been able to eat a porterhouse every day. So I get where you are coming from.
Some people are more literal.

Speaker 1 They see you breastfeeding a love seat and they just can't cope.

Speaker 1 A love seat? I don't know. That's what they did.

Speaker 2 Huh.

Speaker 1 Opie responds back: His dad is 6'7, and I'm so not prepared for him to be taller than me by the time he's like five,

Speaker 1 laughing my ass off. He's already past my hip.
I'm 5'1 on a good day.

Speaker 2 Yo, she get it. It's a boy.
That's about to be an athlete or something, like a model, something. She better get ready.
He's going to eat a lot.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 A lot. She's got to go to Costco.

Speaker 1 She got to go to Costco for those groceries.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Buy him bulk, baby.

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 Someone goes, oof. I don't envy your pregnancy, to be honest, if he's always been big.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 No, but I actually thought the same thing. I'm like, how did she push that out?

Speaker 1 A lot of people are curious about that and asking if her vagina is okay.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yo. Because I was thinking, as you were reading the story, I didn't want to say it.
But hey, we're ladies here, honey. We're ladies here.
I was like, Grandma Watermelon.

Speaker 2 You know, you hear about stories about, oh, people are going to tune out his podcast, but rip.

Speaker 1 Oh, the tear.

Speaker 2 The tear. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Cause the pesiotomy where they cut. That freaks me out, too.

Speaker 2 Y'all, if you ever watch

Speaker 2 giving birth videos, you would not want to get broken. Have you watched?

Speaker 2 I watched my sister when it was her first pregnancy. We were watching it together.
I've never watched it. And I was like, sister, good luck.

Speaker 1 I know, like, if you massage oil around there,

Speaker 1 you're less likely to tear. I'm going to be spraying cans of olive oil over there today.

Speaker 2 Avocado oil, canola oil, every kind of oil, micray oil.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do whatever I can.

Speaker 1 Start me off in the water birth, bath, tub.

Speaker 2 I don't fuck anything. Anything.
Anything.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 1 comments-wise, people are asking, like, what does your baby do when he misbehaves?

Speaker 1 And someone goes, behaving like a baby, screaming, throwing food, slapping his hands against surfaces, putting things in his mouth. He looks big.
So people assume these are inappropriate behaviors.

Speaker 1 But developmentally, he's on par.

Speaker 2 What about, does he, can he walk? I guess he's not because 11 months. Or maybe, yeah, go ahead and get it.

Speaker 1 They start kind of cruising on furniture

Speaker 1 around that age, typically. So.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's kind of crazy because usually when they're cruising on furniture, they're a lot smaller.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is a whole different dynamic.

Speaker 2 For me, like my nieces and nephews, because my whole family, we're tall. I'm six, one and a half, six, two.

Speaker 2 And my nieces, they're all, they all look like they're five. But like my, my nephew, he's like two.
He just turned three. So he can't talk, but he looks like he could talk.

Speaker 2 So anytime you go up to him, they're always like, hey, how are you? What's your name? And he just looks at him like, how tall is he? He's like the, whatever, that height. Yeah.

Speaker 1 36 inches?

Speaker 1 For a two-year-old?

Speaker 2 Yep. Actually a little taller.
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, you got the tall jeans. I would.

Speaker 2 Okay, not that we're too far. A little bit low.
Yeah, I guess he's 32 inches or 30, 40 or something. Yeah, 40.
Yeah. That's like my height.

Speaker 2 Stop it.

Speaker 1 I'm 5'1.5, 5'2.

Speaker 2 You didn't look that small when I hugged you. Huh.
That's good height. 5'1? I stood up tall today.
I know, right? Like, wearing the

Speaker 1 extra heights and the shoes. I know.
I usually got the platform new balances. Just prop me up an extra inch, you know?

Speaker 2 I'll take anything I can get. Sometimes when I'm like reaching the top of my cabinet, I like to go on my tiptoes just to feel like, just feel how it feels like to be fun-size.

Speaker 1 I feel inept a lot of days. Like, my fiancé put like these sourdough crackers from Costco.
Best fucking crackers. If you ever see them, I'll put a picture of them in here because they're so good.

Speaker 1 But he put the crackers on the top shelf and I couldn't reach them.

Speaker 2 I was like, I can't eat them. He's like, he did this on purpose.
He did it on purpose. He did it on purpose.
He's trying to see them for himself. God.
Uh-uh. They're the best crackers.

Speaker 2 Next time you need to take something to put it like down below so he doesn't see it.

Speaker 2 Payback.

Speaker 1 Payback is a bitch.

Speaker 1 As they say.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but a lot of comments from OP. There is one here.

Speaker 1 Someone asked, why don't you just feed him formula and bottle feed him so you don't make other people uncomfortable?

Speaker 2 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.

Speaker 1 She goes, why would I stop just to pay for formula? My tits are free.

Speaker 2 Period.

Speaker 2 That should be on a shirt. Tits are free.
Why should I use formula? My tits are free.

Speaker 1 That should, that could go far.

Speaker 2 That could go very far. That could go far.

Speaker 1 Yeah, people are like, why didn't you just move the armchair out of another room? OP goes, do you know how heavy armchairs are?

Speaker 1 So I think people are coming up with like a lot of solutions, but at the same time, OP doesn't need a solution.

Speaker 2 She doesn't need a solution. That's her parents' house.
To me, I'm like, this is my territory, my rules. You're the guest.
Abide by the house rules. Like, just leave it.

Speaker 1 Well, and like, the girlfriend can find another room for 20 minutes while the baby gets fed.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 2 But that's what people with common sense would do, like us. But that girl doesn't have common sense.
I know. It's not common anymore.
No.

Speaker 1 Okay. Shame.

Speaker 1 Our last one. No.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give you a choice.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the first option is titled, Am I the Asshole for Not Allowing My Husband to Go on a Business Trip with the Woman He Cheated On Me With?

Speaker 2 Ah!

Speaker 2 Oh!

Speaker 2 Okay, what's the other one?

Speaker 1 Number two, I just saw my little brother in a porno.

Speaker 2 Cheated on me.

Speaker 2 We don't want to talk about child porn.

Speaker 2 I'm sure he's probably 18, but I don't want to talk about that. 19.
19. Okay, here we go.

Speaker 1 Okay, so this one is coming from A-I-T-A-H, four days old. Am I the asshole for not allowing my husband to go on a business trip with the woman he cheated on me with? Oh.

Speaker 1 My friends have mixed opinions about this. Here's our story.
Six years ago, my husband cheated on me with a woman who was part of our social circle.

Speaker 2 Shite.

Speaker 1 I found out about it and wanted to divorce him. My husband made a considerable effort to repair our marriage, and I decided not to go through with the divorce.

Speaker 1 I can say that since then and until recently, we had a beautiful relationship without major issues.

Speaker 1 I almost forgot about what happened until, in 2023, that woman coincidentally got hired by the same company where my husband works.

Speaker 1 My husband did not hide this from me.

Speaker 1 In fact, he seemed bothered by the awkward situation, especially since the company requires employees to declare any past or present relationships with co-workers.

Speaker 1 He didn't say anything at work about their past relationship because all his colleagues know us both and know we have been married for 12 years. It would have been very strange.

Speaker 1 I felt chills down my spine when I heard the news, but I tried not to think too much about it. My husband hasn't shown any interest in that woman, and our relationship hasn't changed at all.

Speaker 1 It's still a beautiful relationship. Last week, both of them were notified that they have to go on a business trip to Canada.

Speaker 1 The two of them, and another person from the company, but from a branch in another state, who doesn't know either my husband or that woman.

Speaker 1 This time, no matter how much I wanted to overlook it, I can't. The thought of my husband being around this woman again for 14 days drives me crazy.

Speaker 1 I told him I don't want to hear about such a thing, that if he goes on this trip, I'll leave home for good.

Speaker 1 I know I'm putting him in a difficult situation, especially since he can't really miss this trip without facing repercussions at work. I don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 I feel guilty, but also justified for behaving this way. Am I the asshole in this situation?

Speaker 2 Oh, dad, it's a tough one. It's a tough one.

Speaker 2 Because he needs to go on a business trip to make that money.

Speaker 2 But then that business trip is with the girl that be shaking that booty in front of her husband's face. Oh, God.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I don't think I'd be able to handle that.

Speaker 2 I don't think so either.

Speaker 1 No matter how much trust you have, it's.

Speaker 2 Temptation is real.

Speaker 2 Temptation is real. And to me,

Speaker 2 I don't think she just randomly, oh, whoa, whoa, she just randomly got the job.

Speaker 1 Dude, no.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 She did that on purpose.

Speaker 2 She plotted it all.

Speaker 1 She was trying to wiggle her way back in and steal that man for girls. Exactly.
There's no way, coincidentally, she got hired.

Speaker 2 Coincidentally, my ass.

Speaker 1 He's probably been at that same company forever.

Speaker 2 Right. And she knows.
Check LinkedIn. You know, everybody, they be using LinkedIn.
It shows little Miss Mann still works there. And she's like, oh, let me go in there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they were all friends. She was in the social circle.
She knows

Speaker 1 where he works.

Speaker 2 She planned it from the start. She knows what she's up to.
And why is the trip 14 days?

Speaker 2 What business deal are they working on? They need 14 days. That's a long trip.
All you need is two, three business days and come back home. That's a long trip.
That's a long trip. That's a long time.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You know, when you go on business trips with somebody, you spend a lot of time together.

Speaker 2 You know? And

Speaker 2 what made it a no is like the other two people that are going don't really know the couple. Right? That's what she said.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It sounds like the other colleague or whatever that's going on the trip has no idea who the husband or that woman are.

Speaker 2 So they can do any level amount of flirting and they wouldn't clock on it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because they'd be like, oh, we don't know this. We don't know their partners.
Yeah. Nah, that's messy.
Yeah. Whatever company that is, that's messy.

Speaker 2 I know she, like, she was the first one to volunteer. I volunteer as tribute to go on this trip.
Probably. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which, what would you do in this situation? Like, he obviously didn't disclose their relationship. Because he was like, I'm married.
It would be embarrassing to admit to my work that I had an affair.

Speaker 1 Like, that's obviously why he didn't disclose when she got hired. So he's technically would get in trouble if he disclosed now.

Speaker 1 But I feel like, shouldn't he? Like, what do you think he should do in terms of like, this is your job on the line if you turn down this trip for seemingly no reason?

Speaker 2 I'm going to need him to go on Chat GPT and find a reason. Find a good reason.
What is the best reason that can help me get out of a really important work trip?

Speaker 2 And I'm sure AI will come up with a good reason. You can find a reason.

Speaker 1 I'm getting a vasectomy.

Speaker 2 I can't.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. Like, can't fly for two weeks.
My great-great-grandma died or something. I don't know.
Kill somebody in your family.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 pop off. I used to do that a lot.

Speaker 2 I used to do that a lot in

Speaker 2 college for reasons. Both my grandmas are dead.
Rest in peace. They watched for me.
I love them so much. Thank you, grandma.
But I always just used to just kill them.

Speaker 1 Didn't know teachers asked you for obituaries, huh?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I used to make one. I used to make, I made I made a fake one.

Speaker 2 That's so bad. Yeah, whenever I needed to.

Speaker 2 Yeah, when I used to make excuses for like missing certain like assignments or certain like times when I couldn't show up. Maybe I had, and I think I used to go on trips.

Speaker 2 I used to go on trips to be out here trying to make my social media career. Yeah, I used to, yeah.
Oh, no, no, no. I think actually when I think about it, I think it really well.

Speaker 2 So I can make sure this was the reason why I did it. I needed to go to Nigeria

Speaker 2 for a longer vacation because my family oh we always go back to nigeria for the holidays and we only had a short amount of time for holiday off yeah in school so i would have to you know

Speaker 2 okay that was the only reason yeah that was bad and i've done that many many times oh that's a bad one that's a hot confession there you go i like it though because the system like it the system is flawed so how can you make the system work for you Period.

Speaker 2 I like it. So he needs to go kill his grandma.
The grandma's already dead. If the grandmas are alive, kill your great-grandmother.
So that way, you know, they just roll in their grave. Yeah.

Speaker 1 My, you know, a lot of people's great-grandparents are still alive. So like, you know, it's believable.
It's fine.

Speaker 2 Find some type of reason, to be honest.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I would, I would not. It would be a no for me.
But I,

Speaker 2 it's hard, though. Because if he, if it's like, if he misses this trip, the,

Speaker 2 um, you know, he could lose his job.

Speaker 2 Lose the job. I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 No, but like, I think that's kind of the, it seems like that's the ultimatum she's kind of giving him. I wonder, and

Speaker 1 people might yell at me for saying this, but if she doesn't work, my advice would be like, well, you go on the trip with them. Like, you just hang out at his hotel room.

Speaker 1 You can get dinner together when he's done working.

Speaker 2 Yo, that is a bob around town.

Speaker 1 That's a perfect solution. Like, if she doesn't work or if she works remote and could do it, go with them.

Speaker 2 Go on the trip with him. Yeah, that's perfect.

Speaker 1 Thing no one loses. Yeah.
He gets to keep his job, be in good standing, not miss out on a promotion or whatever. You get to go, there you go.

Speaker 1 Then they're only having the interaction of like work, yeah, which is what they would have if they were at home in the office, anyways.

Speaker 2 Only thing is, those work trips they have long hours because you have a work dinner, you have a work networking cocktail hour, so much to see. And then you go to the hotel room like this,

Speaker 2 yeah, what is he doing, biting your fingernails? Like, what is he doing? What is he doing? I know. Uh, it It might also come down to trust, a certain level of trust.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You know, which some people would say, why are they still together if she doesn't trust him to do that trip?

Speaker 2 I think she, it's because the same, the same girl he cheated on you is going. That's the reason.
Like, everything was fine. And it was still fine with them working together, right? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Because you have to have a level of trust for him to be showing up to work. Absolutely.
Working long hours with her, probably. Yeah.
Right.

Speaker 2 This is just a whole like different, unique scenario that could never happen unless somebody planned it. And that girl right there, that man cheater, man stealer, she planned it.

Speaker 1 I think she did. Yeah.
Top comment, not the asshole. Jesus, why would you even need to ask?

Speaker 1 OP responds, because some of my friends say that I'm overreacting and putting my husband's career in jeopardy.

Speaker 2 Nah, she needs new friends. Next comment.
That's always my, that's always my, I'm like, no, because it's, it's,

Speaker 2 no. I feel like if I would,

Speaker 2 no, I don't think she's over.

Speaker 1 I don't think you're overreacting.

Speaker 2 Those friends are maybe have different types of husbands. They never, probably have never been cheated on or something.

Speaker 1 Like.

Speaker 1 Different, yeah, different context for them. And I do think like you can be upset about it.
And like, I think they could be like, you're not overreacting. Like completely justified.

Speaker 1 Your feelings are valid. But just realize like his career might be on the line then.
Yeah. Like that's how the conversation should have gone.
Not, oh, you're overreacting. It's fine.

Speaker 2 It's fine.

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 he did something that he shouldn't have done. Right.

Speaker 2 Stuck his dick where it didn't belong. Okay.

Speaker 1 And now he's got to deal with the consequences.

Speaker 2 Like you, yeah.

Speaker 1 Which is what the next comment kind of says.

Speaker 1 When choosing between your husband's career and the consequences of his infidelity, his career should lose every time.

Speaker 1 Wow. Don't even consider this.
And if he fights you on it, bring up the D word.

Speaker 2 What's the D word divorce whoa give him the D

Speaker 2 whoa give him the D

Speaker 2 divorce

Speaker 2 I think here's the thing a real man

Speaker 2 will try to do whatever it takes to put her his husband's what his wife's right his wife's heart at peace yeah a real man would do whatever it takes to put his wife's heart at peace and if he really loves her and he knows like this is really really such a like a big deal yeah he would make the whatever compromise.

Speaker 2 Again, that's where it comes to compromise. And he would make, he would suggest what you suggested earlier, where it's like, come on the trip with me, babe.
You have nothing to worry about.

Speaker 2 Reassurance is so important in relationships. And if he's not giving that, if he's not giving her that reassurance,

Speaker 2 she's going to be out here asking 10,000 friends for advice that she can never get an answer to, except for the answer is coming from when you talk to your husband. So yeah.

Speaker 1 OP does reply to that and goes, he is considering discussing the issue with HR, but the company has a zero tolerance for lies and hidden matters.

Speaker 1 This also could affect his promotion in the coming years. And that's why he should have just got it out at the beginning.
Like,

Speaker 1 oh, you didn't want to embarrass yourself and admit you had an affair and like damage your ego and your pride and look bad.

Speaker 2 You did it.

Speaker 1 You should have thought about that before you did it.

Speaker 2 So, and also, it's all all this. Her comments are all, it could, it could, it would, it would, it could, it could, could have, woulda, should have, did it,

Speaker 2 it could, but it might not.

Speaker 1 That's true,

Speaker 2 right? Because he might be now and I'm thinking, is he coming up with reasons to justify why he shouldn't say anything? Like, it could affect my promotion, it could, you know, ruin my job. It could,

Speaker 1 yeah, the world could end tomorrow, too, right? Like, there could be a apocalypse, right?

Speaker 2 A zombie.

Speaker 1 I always think about the earthquake and like California falls into the ocean.

Speaker 1 Like, I think about that all the time.

Speaker 2 Anytime I think about earthquakes, I'm like, who's twerking? Is it me?

Speaker 1 I think about nuclear bombs here a lot. Stop.
Yeah, I kind of was like, well, when that Fallout show came out, and it's like, it's in L.A. and you see L.A.

Speaker 1 exploding with nukes. Whoa.
And that freaks me out because if there was a nuclear war, it'd be L.A., New York.

Speaker 2 Bam, they're out.

Speaker 1 And we're in the blast zone.

Speaker 2 Yeah, we are. It's okay.

Speaker 1 But I think we're close enough. I think we're close enough where we wouldn't know what happens.
Like, we're instant incineration. So that is peace of mind at least.
Oh, it's not peace of mind.

Speaker 1 Protecting my peace.

Speaker 2 Protecting my peace. It's all about the protecting my peace.

Speaker 2 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 We don't have an update from OP, so no idea how this is turning out, but we're going to have to keep our eyes open.

Speaker 2 If worst case, if he goes and he cheats, should she go and cheat too?

Speaker 2 Find out in our next episode.

Speaker 2 An eye for an eye, baby.

Speaker 1 Thank you so much for coming on.

Speaker 2 Thank you. This is fun.
This was really good.

Speaker 1 I'm so glad I put in some stories about Nigerian culture, too.

Speaker 2 I just, it was so good. Dashboard, thank you for like adapting those, like incorporating those stories because I was happy sharing more about the wedding.

Speaker 1 The advantage of having you here, hearing about the weddings is so beautiful.

Speaker 2 Right. So it's giving you about to have a Nigerian wedding.

Speaker 2 Don't put it past me.

Speaker 1 And that money dance, we're bringing that.

Speaker 1 That's getting incorporated into my wedding for sure.

Speaker 2 I love that.

Speaker 2 An invitation. Make sure y'all bring stacks of ones, okay? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, there's other cultures too. Like I know my friend, she's Armenian and they did that as well for their wedding.
So that's so cool.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I have an Armenian wedding coming up in October, and I have a Jewish and Persian wedding coming up in September as well, too.

Speaker 1 You, yeah. This is a good series for you.

Speaker 2 Wedding content, yeah.

Speaker 1 So speaking of your content, where can people find you? How can they watch all of your amazing videos?

Speaker 2 Yes. You can watch my amazing videos at Drea underscore knows best on Instagram.
Drea knows best on TikTok. A lot, a lot more videos on TikTok.

Speaker 1 Let's see. When are you going to get that YouTube rolling again?

Speaker 2 Girl, I'm happy you ask.

Speaker 2 Okay, Michael. I love your YouTube.
Thank you. Thank you, Boo.
I'm thinking about like starting more YouTube content that's more like when it comes to culture-based.

Speaker 2 So inviting other people from different cultures to come and teach me their slangs. And I teach them my slangs.
I love that.

Speaker 2 And kind of like when you think about like Jubilee, BuzzFeed, like what they do. Yeah.
But the overall arching, the anchor is going to be culture. I love it.
So I'm working on that.

Speaker 2 The first thing I got to do is finish finish my card game sabby slangs i have to finish sabby slangs i love it and when that comes out hopefully before

Speaker 2 by december it should be out i can give the world some nigerian slangs in their homes and what a good little holiday gift for people out there oh yeah

Speaker 1 circle back guys circle back you might be hearing this in

Speaker 1 what month are we in july july yeah it's like a couple of months you know november december start looking

Speaker 2 start looking for drea's game yes yes it's so fun i'm so proud of myself like every time i'm working on it like building it from scratch when you think of an idea it's like oh it's an idea but when you start doing it you're like oh wow it's actually it's a lot of work yeah but then you get excited as just it's coming together that's how i felt about the podcast yeah that's so cool i get you i used to have a podcast actually called do for the content bring it up it was giving content creator tips

Speaker 1 yeah well i mean you've you've done so much you were like in forbes i saw like some interview you did too talking about like how to create your community yeah this right here i have a lot of wisdom up there consulted for like coca-cola Walmart.

Speaker 2 I was like, Disney, Chipola, all these different brands.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know, when you, when you've been in this industry for a long time, there's a lot of things you've learned when it comes to creating content that resonates with people and

Speaker 2 authentic marketing. Like you said earlier, you watched that video of my marketing, my ad, and you didn't know.
I had no idea. I was like, I love this.
Her family's here. Oh, there you go.

Speaker 2 So, it was so good. Got to teach people how to do that.
That's how marketing should be. Like, it should be fun and feel like authentic and resonate with people.
So I'm happy to do what I'm doing.

Speaker 2 I love my community. I love social media.
And, you know, now I have a new love for you.

Speaker 1 Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
I just, I love this. Thank you.
All of Drea's links will be in the show notes, the YouTube description

Speaker 1 description. God, I can't even talk at the end here.
It's okay. Be sure to go follow.
I mean, every video has just been so fun. And I love all the slangs.
Get the game. But until next time, guys, bye.