176: What's the Best Case Scenario? Ft. Drea Knows Best

Look at the sneakers.

Okay.

Yeah, you came ready.

You know, you just stay ready.

So they've got to get ready, you know?

I love that.

I love that.

Okay, well, we are rolling on everything.

I know.

I'm like, I have to check the amount of stuff I've lost.

I'm like, oh, God.

That's the worst.

You from a whole podcast and then nothing recorded.

It's gone.

Has that ever happened?

Yeah. Oh, shoot.
Yeah. Somebody about to get fired oh me me and then you just kind of cry about it and then you have you know emotional breakdown but then you're back in it you know picking all new stories because it's hard to fake a reaction oh yeah like you can't you know what i mean it's like when you record a voice note and it didn't actually record, you have to, like, do it again.
The same enthusiasm. Like, hey, girl.
Like, no, it doesn't work. I know.
No, you can't do it. Drea, I'm so excited to have you today.
Oh, thank you. I'm happy to be here, too, Morgan.
Oh, if you haven't recognized her voice, her beautiful face, today we are joined by Drea Knows Best, a.k.a. Drea OKK.
Hey, hey. Hey, there we go.
You are amazing. Like I did the deep dive on you today.
Drea was an engineer, is still an engineer, but you started like way back on Vine. And then when TikTok came, you really found your niche there.
And I love the way you describe it where you say it's comedy, but with your culture. And you said something in an interview you did too, where you were like, it's not about just creating this mass following, but really a sense of community.
Big time. And you and your content, like I love, I watched one of your, and I didn't even realize it was an ad.
That's how good it was. But it was like your family was visiting and you needed it was like the lip gloss or something but it was so cute and I'm like I feel like I'm a part of the family oh that's what I always want to do I feel like even when I'm doing ads like I don't want to I hate watching ads yeah so if I can just like storytell naturally like how I would make the content I always think about like my community first like what do they connect with they love seeing me with my family they love seeing me teach people Nigerian slangs they love seeing things like culture is the underlining like blueprint of my platform like when I make content I always think about like what would young Drea that was bullied for being Nigerian and like you know were you really? I really was it was so dumb I'm like are y'all kidding me? You grew up in New York and like Connecticut or something I saw? Yeah, born in Connecticut.
Okay. Moved to Belgium, my mom, and then moved to Nigeria.
Then from Nigeria to New York. Okay.
New York back to Nigeria for boarding school and then back to America, Maryland. So all around the place.
So cultured queen. Culture, you know.
Just like a blood trotter. I love meeting new people.
I love learning about like, where do you come from? What do you do? What does your family do? Like all up in their faces, just trying to get to know people. I love that.
But yeah, that's why I love, I think I love culture. I love hearing up people's stories.
I love that. I have some stories that are a little Nigerian in theme.
So we're making sure we hit all the bases today, making sure people are represented. I am so happy to be here.
I wasn't happy before. I'm happier now.
I'm just kidding. Always happy.
I love it. So the theme we have today, what's the best course of action? Where do they go from here? Like what's best course here? Because you know best i do drea knows best always

always okay let's dive in so okay so this first one it was 18 hours old the time I found it. It is coming from Am I the Asshole, titled, I know, that's so funny, titled, Am I the Asshole for telling my husband, for once in your life, be quiet.
Hey! My 40 female husband, 45 male,, Jake is a very loud person.

He does nothing quietly. He talks loudly, stomps when he walks, slam doors, etc.
But he also groans loudly, yawns loudly, grunts loudly, makes overly exaggerated sounds of struggle and exhaustion no matter what he is doing. He will be taking his socks off and it's ah, ooh, woo, gah, ah, ah, oh, ah, oh,

every damn time. Oh, that will piss me off.
He doesn't do any of this out of anger. I've talked to him countless times about being quieter.
He doesn't think he's loud, but he really is.

Until I met Jake, I didn't realize anyone can yawn louder than a drill sergeant yells.

I've explained to him it's so loud it feels painful to me. I have an auditory disorder and I often struggle with noise levels where I get headaches and nausea.
To wrap this up, Jake was being what seemed to be louder than his usual loud earlier today. And I snapped and told him to, for once in his life, just be quiet.
Obviously, that didn't go well. And now he's mad at me.
But he's also making it a point to prove how quiet he can be. And that it's just me making things up when I say he's too loud.
So am I the asshole? Well, first of all, first of all, you know, he's a loud man. So why did you marry him? I was thinking, how did they get this far? Yeah, because you said they're 40 in their 40s.
So it might not be a new marriage. Y'all been together for you were dating him you heard dum dum dum ah ah ooh I wouldn't be able to do it right so that was my thought too like how did they get so far yeah crazy at least she did she was I think she's not an asshole because she said that politely she only said at least she didn't say like for once in your lifetime like shut the fuck up shut up no she didn't.
She didn't say that, right? Just be quiet. Just be quiet.
For once in your life. Yeah.
You know, it's still a little sassy, but you're at your wits end. You're about to get a migraine headache and throw up.
What was the thing she said? She has a... An auditory disorder.
Hmm. What is that? Let's Google it.
Let's Google it. Let's Google that.
Yeah. be a magnitude of things.
Like I think about, you know, there's people with autism or ADHD, like you're super sensitive to noises. So like a clock ticking back and forth could set you off or just like even a normal noise is overwhelming to you.
Like your auditory processing center in your brain could just be like more heightened. So there's stuff like that.
Is there a background in like therapy stuff? Yeah. Yeah, that's why you know this.
Look at you. Okay, Morgan.
Okay, I see. I don't think she's an asshole for that.
I think she could have communicated it better, but homeboy was doing it for too long. Sometimes she just gets a point where you just got to snap and until you snap then they're gonna get the point yeah she said she told him before like you're being too loud and he doesn't listen what's his name jake jake jake you don't listen so sometimes you gotta tell them straight to their face you do you know do you also feel like i feel like guys especially as they get older they learn to yawn like abnormally loud i feel like it's like the people joke about it it's like the dad yawn or the dad sneeze and all of a sudden it's like oh no that sneeze because my brother my brother has the same thing but i don't think i think it got louder as we got older because when we were young that's what i'm saying teenagers he was okay it was it was loud but it wasn't that loud i know but as an adult it's like his allergies became like 10 times worse and every time he's like it's not it's like full body crazy sneeze like why i think because they're looking for attention is that what it is it's like you know i think men don't like to ask for attention they look for a way to to just like let me see i can get the attention right now i definitely see that for my dad because he loves attention like loves attention so i i could see that being the reason he does that sneeze you might be honest something there's like a have you seen inside out um the movie the disney one the disney one when it's like the emotions controlling your brain maybe like at some age for men like some random emotion of like be loud comes up and like just starts controlling your brain and every time they sneeze they yawn they cough.
It just has to be loud. I can see it.
Yeah me too. In there just twisting the little wires and little dials.
Top comment on this one. Not the asshole.
But sounds like you two need to have a serious conversation about it and come to some kind of solution

that makes you both happy.

OP says,

we've had many conversations

over the five years

we've been married.

He insists he's not loud

and me and everyone else

is just imagining it

because he's not too loud

to himself.

Oh.

I feel like,

I feel like they need

to record him

and play it back.

I think that's be so he can see it because if you can't hear it's like when okay it's like for me like when i sing in the shower i think my voice is amazing oh i remember when i sing out loud to people like they tell you know it's not good there's something about that shower exactly right right so for him you gotta he has to watch it and hear it and then he's probably gonna be like oh wow it's so loud it can cause an earthquake i feel chill oh my god i wonder if there's like some hearing loss going on too oh that's a twist you know because like have you ever been in the car with your friend and like you might be this friend i don know. But they crank the music and you're sitting there like trying to have a conversation with them and you can't even hear them because their music is so loud.
Like I have multiple friends where I already know they have hearing damage. Yeah.
They need. Yeah, I'm the friend that'll turn it down.
Like I can barely hear you. Yeah.
Let's turn it down. Yeah, that's me.
That's me in the car. I have sensitive ears.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, so I don't know what OP is going to do here.
I mean, you're kind of in it. I think maybe like a safe word, you know? A safe word.
Yeah, like a safe word, like what is getting too much? Pineapple. Right? Yeah.
Just pineapple. Please tone it down.
Munchkins. Ooh.
I do love those donuts. Yes.
Yeah's there's only one other comment from op on this post i love jake other than the loud he's a great guy do you think they're gonna get a divorce over this i mean at a certain point i think they need to evaluate his hearing maybe he needs hearing aids maybe would help. In OT, we had these like tubes we would use for kids that talked really loud or like needed help, like realizing their levels and like to better regulate.
And it's a tube and you put it from your mouth and then to your ear. It's like literally just like a plastic tube.
And then essentially if they talk loud, they're yelling in their own ear. So I'm like, maybe we need to get him one of the nice tubes yeah i think that could help i'm not to him right now oh they're so cheap it's like 12 bucks for a four pack imagine it's like from your mouth like did he stick it in their mouth and then like is that safe i'm not i mean i think so they call them soundp they're they look like this oh looks like those things you know when you're young and you stick your finger in it and then you stick another finger that gets stuck that's what it looks like finger traps finger traps oh the panic i would have in those things yeah so i don't know that might be might be worth Right.
Might be worth a shot for him. They try it.
There is an edit. Oh.
I've had friends and family point out how obnoxiously loud Jake is and even ask me if he struggles from hearing loss. He doesn't.
And if that's why he's so loud. She said he doesn't struggle from hearing loss.
But I feel like he must like there's there's there's an answer to this it has to be or or is it just like he grew up in a family that's like loud because i'm a loud person yeah like my laugh is like i don't have the cute even my sister tells me like girl like calm down so that's just me like my family and my nigerians were all loud we're talking on the phone my parents on the phone is like they're like trying to talk over somebody and no one else is talking but they're the only one in the room talking but they have to be the loudest in the room so it might be maybe in his family they're all just loud so what's like quiet to him does doesn't seem quiet what's loud to him doesn't seem loud you know so that might be a thing it might be like a upbringing thing i know i could so see that his threshold then would have to be so much higher especially if he's like one of those families where it's like you're fighting for your space to talk yeah yeah i could see that yeah so the bottom line is what's her name op you knew the man you were marrying you saw the signs but you ignored it and now you're dealing with it years later so you gotta just just gotta deal with it yeah it's like uh there's a saying for it and i can't think of it but essentially it's like you messed with the bull you know getting the horns now. Like you, you know what you were signing up for.

And then, you know, you're upset.

But you signed up.

You knew.

You signed up.

Signed the papers.

Literally.

Stamp.

Moving along.

Okay, this next one.

It is five hours old coming from A-I-T-A-H titled,

Am I the Asshole for Separating from My Wife for Drastically Changing Her Appearance? is five hours old coming from a i t a h titled am i the asshole for separating from my wife for drastically changing her appearance oh it's gonna be good my wife and i have been married for 10 years and we have three kids during lockups she went down this tiktok rabbit hole and became a crunchy health nut she changed completely from when i met her she refuses to eat anything that's not healthy. She doesn't even eat for an entire day every couple of days.
She's lost 30 pounds that way. She also began lifting and she's very muscular now.
She has a man's shoulders. To top it all off, she got a breast reduction.
She didn't even have big breasts, but she hated how saggy they were and spent $10,000 on getting a totally unnecessary breast reduction.

Everyone told me that it was her body and I have no say in what she wanted to look like.

Exactly.

But I'm not attracted to her.

She looks nothing like the woman I married.

I tried dealing with it for years, but it was too much.

I couldn't even recognize her.

When I asked for a divorce, she began bawling. She said I was a shallow jerk and she wished she had never met me.
It was so hurtful because she didn't even care about our three beautiful kids. Most of my friends have reassured me that I wasn't wrong However, a few of them who were friends with my wife have dropped me and call me an asshole every time they see me.

They've even gone so far as to leave hate comments on my social media posts.

Oh, wow.

Am I the asshole?

There are so many layers to this story.

So many layers to this. So it's a little onion.

The first one that came to mind was, okay, if you need a reminder of how she looks like, look at your kids.

Because that's a combination of both of y'all.

I don't know. many layers to this.
The first one that came to mind was, okay, if you need a reminder of how she looks like, look at your kids.

Because that's a combination to both of y'all.

So if you want to remember how she looks like, look at the kids.

Look at the photos. I think

I'm an advocate for

if you don't like something about yourself,

which you should, love yourself and everything, but

if you want to change it and if she's happy with it,

she should go ahead and do that.

Clearly she has the coins to do it because she spent $ dollars on the move reduction like okay girl but i think he needs to check his friends because while his the friends that he's like oh my friends are supporting me like check who you're surrounding yourself with they're probably not really your friends and to like i kind of like kudos to her for you know wanting to change her like get herself together she lost 30 pounds maybe she was on the you know not even thicker side but like maybe she needs to lose weight for health reasons too you know that could be the case is he unhappy because he doesn't look good doesn't look good he's not keeping up now they're going out now they're out. Everyone's like checking her out and they're not looking at him anymore.

Like what's going on?

I wonder.

I could see it being a big insecurity.

Like she's eating super healthy.

She's looking really good.

She's getting more attention.

And he's just kind of brushing it off like this.

The comment though he has where it's like she also began lifting and she's very muscular now.

She has a man's shoulders.

I hated that comment.

I hated that. I mean broad shoulders could have been a better way to say it man's shoulders though it's giving something just very just toxic it's giving toxic it's giving i think he's a little it's an ego thing too i know like when people are dating you want to date someone that's like matches your energy in a way so maybe their love language was like let's go out and eat bj's or applebee's and eat whatever you know and now she's like i know yeah i love bj's they're pazookies oh i've never been girl pazookies are the best thing ever i can have like 10 okay um It's like basically a warm cookie and then ice cream on top.
Or warm brownie, ice cream on top. So good.
Say it last time, sold. So that's probably what they were eating every day.
Every day pizookies. And now she's like, no, I want almonds.
I'd love an apple today. Oh, yeah.
Just one grape for dinner. Crunchy health nut.
I was a little concerned, though, because he said she doesn't eat't eat sometimes yeah she won't eat for an entire day every couple of days that's interesting i know there's so many diet stuff like my um i have a friend who's like trying keto and on this big health kit and as he was starting he drank only water with cayenne pepper and lemon in it for two days oh god i would rather eat grass i would eat a leaf off a tree like i don't think i could do that i couldn't do that i once tried to do a a cleanse right my bestie he gave me this cleanse he was to take like, it's like 10 different pills you take, right? That's like for liver pills and whatever, whatever. Oh my God.
And then you have to eat like, basically eat nothing. Just like more like nuts.
I said, hell no. What the hell? Like you said, am I a horse? Like, no, I need my food.
And people just do it. Like it's easy for them, but I just love food so much like i love me a good like you know chicken a good you know healthy hearty meal you know pasta yeah tacos all of that i don't care i don't care just give me food i love food is my love language it really is my love language i hate cooking love food so someone making me a meal is like that is a way to my heart yeah so maybe that's it maybe that's what's happening like that food was their love connector and that's like he's lost that so he feels like he's lost you know his person yeah but there's a way to like i was just giving a benefit to that i think the honest truth is he's just a hater yeah that's what i feel well and i think there's like a lot of guys who you typically see it after their wife gives birth like i'm not attracted to her anymore and it's like she's had three kids like she's probably feeling so good about herself and then to be told i want a divorce because i don't like the way you look of course you'll cry of course also what's like for better or worse and sickness and health like you're both gonna get old gravity is gonna take control like i'm already i'm 30 and i'm battling gravity every day every day like shit's gonna go south you're you're gonna get fat and your balls are gonna too.
Like that is growing old. That is.
And so what if she never would have done any of this and she would have just aged naturally and he still would have been like, I don't like it. I'm gonna get a younger model.
You know, divorce the first wife, go 20 years younger. Like, yes, there's a potential that he could have done that.
Do you, seen that guy on tiktok i'm forgetting her name i think it's like adrian and the guy is named shafiq she's like 23 she's beautiful and he's like 70 and are you sure it's not like a filter or something because i've seen people do that on tiktok where it's like um i love him even though he's like 60 years older than me and they put a filter on their boyfriend's picture. I did get fooled by a couple of those.
Okay. But I do think he's real because he has one of those machines that carries him up the stairs.
Like even though he can walk up the stairs, there's no mobility issues. He just has one.
And they're going through a separation right now. And I'm just like, I'm like, you get it, girl.

You deserve someone hot.

There's another couple on TikTok, too, who the guy, he's like young.

He's probably like in his late 20s.

And she's like in her, I think, 60s or 70s.

And her skin is like super sagging.

She's like very frail. And they're like always showing you like, I love him.
I love her. And it's like very frail and they're like always showing like i love him i love her and it's like it's very cringe i won't lie when you watch it uh-huh people are always making comments like you know that life insurance check gonna be nice oh yes that's but but they ain't wrong but yeah but so you don't know what the motive in there.

Yeah.

Age gaps like that freak me out.

Yes.

I mean, my parents have a huge age gap.

What's theirs?

My dad, he's 89.

And my mom is 62, 63.

Okay.

So that's like 20-something, almost 30 years.

Yeah, engineer at the batting math too.

Yeah.

but there

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he's like he's like he's like he when you see him he's so fit he's the life of the party he's so vibrant and fun you know young energy right okay and my mom too is gorgeous i mean look at me um and you know sweet of heart but they still connect well but they both encourage each other to like my dad is all about fitness Like he's all about you know let's go on a walk let's you know take care of yourself and instead that inspired my mom to be on her like eating better and eating right even when she's cooking her nigerian meals they're all oily and stuff but she's like let's use less oil so we can live long like our dad kind of vibe so couples are supposed to inspire each other yeah it's more supposed to be aspirational versus like this guy where she started her journey and he's like, he's just like, no, I'm not going to do it. I want us to stay the same.
Nah, relationship is about growing together. It's giving.
We're not trying to grow together. She's growing, elevating.
So he's actually doing her a favor for divorcing her. I completely agree.
I think it's going to be such a tough heartbreakbreak right now but she deserves someone who loves her for all of her including her new passions reach top comment free to act free to live with the consequences that applies to both of you next comment down a responsibility they can both shoulder. Was that a pun on the shoulder joke?

Uh-huh. you.
Next comment down, a responsibility they can both shoulder. Was that a pun on the shoulder? On the bright side, she will have an easy time moving her stuff out now.
These comments did not go the way I was expecting. Is it Reddit? Yeah.
Of course it's gonna be like that. I thought they would be going after him though.
Sounds like she'll be able to shoulder it better than him now. Oh my God.
I love the internet. Internet's crazy.
Wow. Oh man.
Yeah. This is crazy.
Someone does ask a real question down below. Is it just the physical appearance or is it the personality slash lifestyle as well? Obviously, physical appearance matters to attraction, but it sounds like there's more to the loss of attraction than just her physical condition and appearance.
so yeah maybe cause I can also picture like if she's gone so

heavy into working out where she's at the gym

three times a day she's you know

meal prepping for 10 hours 20 hours a week you know that's whatever it is that's a process then it's like okay well we can't even go to Disneyland like my brother my brother is like he's absurd he is not Disney he's a health crunch like this Oh, fitness bro'll go to Disneyland and he'll be like I can't eat anything here and I'm like get the fucking Mickey Mouse pretzel it's not fun get the churro that's the thing you should be able to have treats every now and again and if you can't then I don't think your lifestyle is the healthiest yeah and that that's my hot take and when people hey I agree with, hey, I agree with that hot take. Let me give a hot take too.
I can think of one right now. I'll think of one later.
You'll get one. Yeah, I'll get one.
I need to have one. It's like two hot takes.
We have one. Now we need two.
Next story, you'll have quite a few, I think. Okay, good, good, good, good.
Yeah, because fitness people can be very boring, especially when it's like fitness bro, fitness girl. All they do is is like, I need 500 grams of protein a day.
And I don't talk fitness, eat fitness, sleep fitness. Like, it's like, okay.
I know. There is a personality change.
There could be, for sure. I think with relationships, it's about the core values, right? Right? Your values and principles need to align.
So if that didn't change, then they probably did get married for the wrong reason. i always think whoever i end up with if if i look at them like what if they get in a car crash today and they're paralyzed god forbid will i still love them and the answer is yes then yes that's the person for me you know yeah yeah it's it really is like you have to envision every maybe this is just our brains but i do think that way too i catastrophize a lot and i'm like worst case scenario like if i lost my arm tomorrow would justin still love me yeah i think so yeah i think so i think i i think i got the right one yeah okay moving along what's happening y'all it's anthony edwards the open earbuds are great especially for when you warm it up for pre-game you like to hear the sound of the ball but you want to hear the music but you also got to hear your coach super dope because it gives you the best of both worlds check out bose.com for more here is where we're really getting into it oh god this is four years old but it must be read it is coming from Asshole titled, Am I the Asshole for wanting to wear my traditional clothes to my future wedding? You see where this is going.
Yeah, I do. Hey Reddit, I recently got engaged to the love of my life and we've started wedding planning.
So a little bit of background. We live in the USA.
She is white and I'm a first generation Nigerian immigrant turns Hey, Niger.e. wear our tribal clothing and everything that comes with being an Igbo man.
Ha ha. That's my tribe too.
Is it? Igbo, yeah. Igbo.
Yeah. Igbo man.
Okay. That comes with being an Igbo man.
Ha. Love that you connect that much.
Okay, cool. Well, my fiance said that she'd prefer to just have one wedding because the traditional wedding would usually have to take place in Nigeria.
I told her that I would still like to wear my traditional clothing. This is ideally what it would look like.
And then he includes a picture. My mom knows a really good seamstress who can get it done for me.
Well, basically, her problem boils down to me standing out like a sore thumb. And that she thinks it's not appropriate for an occasion such as a wedding.
I tried to explain to her that in my culture, this clothing is regal attire. and it is seen as very classy by those in my culture.
Look, she is not a bridezilla. Let's get that out of the way right now.
I've handed all the reins to her with regards to planning our wedding because that's what she wants. But this is the only thing I ask for, and she's not letting me have it.
It really means a lot to me to be connected to my culture. I was born in Nigeria, but I have lived 90% of my life here in the States.
But I speak Igbo. I eat Nigerian food whenever I'm able to.
And this is very important to me. Oh, wow.
I have a solution for this. Let's go.
The solution is you can still wear the westernized bride and groom outfit, but add certain elements of the culture to the outfit. Right? So, for example, if he's going to wear a suit, his bow tie will be maybe traditional print.
In Nigeria, we have Ankara print, right? So it'll make the bow tie Ankara print. Oh, I like that.
Or maybe like the thing that's in the pocket can be, you know, the same Ankara, like the traditional prints. The pocket square.
The pocket square. Yeah.
It could be traditional prints. Or, you know, there can be stripes on the side.
Not me becoming a fashion designer, but the stripes on the side of the suit can be like, you know, there's elements to that. So that's the easy solution that i would have given him but considering this

i'm like i love that he also put she's not a brazilla because he doesn't want us to check her but i'm gonna check it like girl this is so important to your man the culture is important he needs to show the element of his culture you know i'm a culture girl i'm standing right beside him that's not my man but i'm standing i'm sticking beside him he needs to wear that traditional wear call it off yeah I would literally say this would be this would be it for me if she has such a problem letting him be representative of his his culture what's important to him you're marrying the wrong person like girl that's the wrong person you could tell this is so important to him he eats his nigerian food he loves you know being able to be in touch with his culture let him wear the outfit it's like is it because of her it doesn't match her aesthetic of her wedding like and i get it because that's how brides are but like no no no if it's so important okay okay let's see because you're you're planning probably planning your wedding yeah would you let your fiancee wear like uh let's say he's obsessed with clowns would you wear him wear like a clown suit to the wedding no but like if that's not even a good analogy because i'm not saying that my culture is similar to clown outfit right well let's say he's thinking of something bizarre yeah like if he was scottish and wanted to wear a kilt i'd be like let's fucking go right yeah yes wear something that represents you and your culture like i think that's so beautiful and i was trying to look at the link he provided and the link is broken these days but is this something that would be a traditional outfit very much okay yes i think that is it's very cool right you look a king like you up and show up. That's how Nigerians are.
When we show up to places, we like to make sure y'all know that we are stepped up in the room. Like we look very like lots of vibrant colors.
Amazing. The headpiece, the necklace, the chief hat, which looks like basically like a chief title hat.
Yeah. Like a king, you know? And it's like, to me, I think that even looks better than the simple the simple normal every time westernized like bride and groom outfit like it just adds an extra flavor i love it yeah right to give you updates on what we do in our culture now uh we do we always do the white wedding and white wedding is called the western that's what we call the western wedding called the white wedding and the traditional wedding.
What people tend to do is, like my sister,

they, she... wedding and white wedding is called the western that's what we call the western wedding called the white wedding and the traditional wedding what people tend to do is like my sister they she didn't get to go home to nigeria to do her traditional wedding but she did all her wedding in america and she did the white wedding in the church and then when she came to the reception there was an alpha change i love that and then she got to wear like the regal like very very nice royal blue outfit with the head scarf and everything.
It was so beautiful, you know? And that was a way to represent both cultures. I love that.
That's like a solution. But this girl right here, that's not your wife.
That's not his wife. I want to know.
They got married or not. They probably did.
I didn't even think to look for an update. Like being four years old.
Yeah. because that's kind of person is going to be like no don't put up that um statue of you know your your evil culture no no i don't want our kids to speak ebo because you know that that's what i was going to point out where does the line get drawn yeah is she just really i don't want that as a part of our wedding day outfit and pictures whatever or is it no you can't speak nigerian to our kids no you can't make that food no you can't like where does it end i don't want my kids eating nigerian food i want my kids going to nigeria i don't want my kids that's what's gonna happen she's gonna be a dictatorship she's gonna want her kids to be american where it's like no end of the day those kids are nigerian american because that's both of their cultures yes nah nah he needs to run run i got such bad vibes big big big bad vibes nah and i think like if say like i was marrying this person i would want to be able to wear that outfit as well like i would want to participate in that it's beautiful like you have your you know i love what your sister did like you have your traditional like you want the churchy type pictures you want the white dress that's cool but then show up to the party and something fun like have you seen have you seen videos on like our weddings when they like spray money no yeah so at the traditional wedding all weddings like a money dance yeah we no money anytime when the bride and groom is dancing we spray money at them and they get to keep up there on that floor all night i have so many videos of me and this actually happens in real life sometimes i'm dancing on my own and then money just like lands on on my foot and i'm like it's mine now put in my titties i was walking through where was it i think it was a strip club here in la and the money just kept getting stuck to my shoe and I'm like I can't keep this but it's like it wants to come home with me is it getting stuck or is it meant to be? is there gum on my shoe? no but oh man I would get the money gun like the money gun I'd really go crazy but my sister had that at her wedding.
My sister's wedding,

Nigerian weddings are massive,

are huge.

And here's what I was thinking too.

When you first started reading,

I thought it was going to go the route of,

I don't want it to do both weddings

because of the cost.

Yeah.

That's when I understand.

Because my sister's wedding,

she did in Nigeria.

She did the traditional wedding first

and then the next day she did her white wedding.

Yeah.

Her traditional wedding had like a thousand plus people come.

Holy smokes.

And you do all the cultural rituals of like, you pay the bride price of the daughter, of the wife.

Basically not, it's like paying a diary, like you're buying her.

But you have to pay her not just money, but also there's a list of things that the bride's dad gives the groom to buy. So what did your dad give? Cows.
He has to buy multiple cows, multiple goats, yams and different crops and foods, bags of rice because those foods they share to the community too. Right? Oh my gosh.
So yes, that's a way of proving that the man is wealthy enough or has enough earnings and is mature enough and the provider man for this generation provider man can provide for the daughter that is so cool i love the community aspect too and i mean a thousand people that's like that's that is my my town basically where i grew up like you look around like who are these people but I'm getting married. As long as they're throwing those dollar bills, you know, let's go, baby.
I love that. Thank you so much for sharing.
Of course. I really, really appreciate that.
If she was smart, she would have done the traditional so she can get some coins. Pay for the wedding.
Because at the end of the day, all that money that's spread, you count it up and that's money that you get to refund from the money you spent on your wedding. She's just not thinking at all.
She doesn't know best. What do you think the vote on this one is? Sorry, when you say vote, what do you mean? So do you think people were like, ah, yeah, you're the asshole for wanting that or no, not the asshole? Oh, not the asshole.
You would be right. Top comment.
Your fiance might not be a bridezilla, but she sure as hell doesn't respect your culture. Why marry someone who expects you to hide yourself and assimilate? What do you think that's going to mean for your children? Hey, you see, we're saying that.
She does know best. Come on.
Not the asshole. But you are the asshole if you let her disrespect you like this.
That's a good one. or he probably read that and is like me I'm not the host I'm not the host I'm not the host I you are the asshole if you let her disrespect you like this that's a good one oh he probably read that and is like me i'm not the asshole no she's the asshole i can't let her disrespect me yeah and i don't see any comments from op there's no update on the account the account's been suspended i tried putting it in google to like see if there was an update that someone might have copied and pasted.
Nothing. But a lot of comments being like, Nigerian weddings are freaking gorgeous.
I still regularly stalk a guy I went to college with just to look at his wedding photos. Yeah.
Nigerian weddings are amazing. They go above and beyond.
Some of them are ridiculously regal. It's like, why are y'all spending this much money on a wedding? But why not? Why not? If you got it, do it.
If you don't take a loan. I'm just kidding.
My brother, like, we were just talking about this recently. He put his wedding on their credit cards.
$35,000, $40,000, just on the credit cards. Oh, just like that.
Just like that. I'm like, that's...
That's a lot. That's scary.
Weddings, I went to a wedding recently. It was definitely a Nigerian wedding.
Yeah. They definitely spent more than $100,000 on that wedding.
Yeah, yeah. Because if you see the amount of things they had, like from the venue alone when you walk in, you're just like, whoa.
Open bar, of course. And, like, the decor, the flowers.
It was so, like, elegant and just rich. Oh, my God.
That's like, I would love to have that. How do you want your wedding? Let's talk about that.
It's going to be like a little carnival. Oh.
Yeah. Have you ever gotten a neon carnival? Yeah, I'm thinking like Coachella.
I like the carnival. It's Carnival, but on my family's farm.
And a shit ton of flowers. And then venue free, right? Cheap.
Save the money on the venue. There's a big red barn.
It's like my family has lived on the property for like 100 years. So it's just like, it holds a special place.
That's so special. And I'm going to have a beer donkey.
So there's going to be a donkey walking around serving people beer. That's i want i just want the beer burrow now i've never seen that in my life and i can't wait to see the pictures and videos please you can come stop it minnesota september of 2025 where's minnesota i'm sorry i'm so bad with geography.
That's like South, Middle, Middle America.

Middle America, North.

Middle America.

On the border of Canada.

There's Minnesota.

If you're looking at a map, Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Iowa, Illinois, Wisconsin.

Wow.

So is it cold there?

Yeah.

Summer wedding or no?

September.

So inching into fall, ideally 75 and sunny.

Just my pull up, girl. That would be a whole different experience.
I'm not kidding experience i do videos about going to different weddings like i've been to many nigerian weddings okay i'm not done one of like a very like american wedding i don't know what happens there there's gonna be horses in the carat corral you can feed them there's gonna be a camel yeah you gotta come wait don't revoke this invite now y'all heard it it's all take don't cut this part out i want it to be a just big party oh like i just want it to be such a big party like less wedding more just like party about us getting married i love that yeah it's it's it's and that's worth remembering and not going to be as stressful planning right because it's going to be meaningful like a place that's meaningful with the people that means a lot that's what i'm hoping for i love that i'm hoping for that okay let's move along to this one this next one had me so heated it's coming from aith it's four days old titled am i the asshole for reporting my boss after he forced me to attend a meeting despite knowing that I was in labor. Uh-uh! Hey! What? I, 28 female, have been working at my company for five years, and until recently, I loved my job.
I was eight months pregnant when this happened, about a month ago, so I started having contractions while at work. Since I was not due yet, I thought it was just Braxton Hicks because they weren't that intense.
Just a week before that, I'd experienced Braxton Hicks and went to the hospital, but it was a false alarm. This time, I was still working when the contractions started in the morning, and I again thought it was just Braxton Hicks.
I didn't want to cause a scene, so I tried to keep working. Last time I went to the hospital, my boss, John, 45 male, made sarcastic comments about me being overly dramatic and joked about how I should schedule my labor around important meetings.
I have social anxiety and tend to take people's crap without pushing back, so I just took it. By noon, the contractions were

getting stronger and closer together, and I knew it was real labor. I needed to go to the hospital.
I informed John that I was in labor and I needed to leave. He rolled his eyes and said, quote, just stay for the meeting at 1 p.m.
It's crucial and we need you here. I was stunned.
I reiterated that I was in active labor and needed to go to the hospital immediately. John snapped back, quote, it's just a meeting.
Sit through it and then you can go. It's not like the baby is going to pop out right now.
Feeling pressured and scared for my job, I reluctantly stayed. She stayed! The meeting lasted an excruciating two hours.
By the end of it, I was in so much pain that I could barely walk. I finally left and drove myself to the hospital, where I was admitted immediately.
My husband got there 30 to 40 minutes later because he was on the other side of town. My daughter was born later that evening, thankfully healthy despite the delay.
When I told my husband what had happened, he was furious and insisted we report John to HR. I was hesitant because I didn't want to jeopardize my job, but I agreed it was the right thing to do.
HR was appalled and assured me that they would handle the situation. John has since been suspended pending an investigation.
The real kicker? During the investigation, it came out that John had emailed the entire office while I was in labor, complaining about my, quote, lack of commitment and making fun of me for overreacting.

Oh, no.

He even implied that I was using my pregnancy

as an excuse to get out of work.

Ooh.

Now my coworkers are pissed at me,

saying I overreacted

and that I should have just sucked it up

for the sake of the company.

I've even received messages.

What company is this?

Drop the name.

Is this the White House?

Like, what is going on? It can't be that important. Oh, my God.
I've even received messages and emails from a few colleagues saying that I've ruined John's career. And that he was just doing his job under pressure.
One even said that I should have toughed it out like their wife did during her pregnancy. The stress from this whole ordeal has made it difficult to enjoy my first few days with my newborn.
I'm constantly second-guessing myself and feeling guilty despite knowing I did what was best for my baby and me. To make matters worse, the interim manager who took over from John is even worse.
He's made it clear to everyone that he resents my actions and has made my return to work unbearable. Now that my maternity leave is over, I find myself isolated at work.
People give me side eyes and whisper about me. During lunch, I'm alone because no one wants to sit with the troublemaker.
What? It feels like high school all over again. I see.
That was his high school? Literally. I dread going back into work each day and facing the hostility and judgment.
I never imagined that doing what was right for my health and my baby's well-being would turn my colleagues against me like this. It's gut-wrenching to feel so isolated and vilified for simply standing up for myself and my rights.

I cry most of the time when I come home and sometimes even in the office washroom when someone passes and says a comment. In the worst moments, I get mad at my husband and blame him for making me tell HR, even though I know he did the right thing.
He's so sweet and never takes it to heart. I apologize soon after, but he always says he wasn't even mad and that he understands how I'm feeling, especially since I'm just one month postpartum.
He says I should take action and complain, but I don't want to make things even worse. He also says he can't see me like this and that I should just quit because it's hurting him.
I don't know what to do. I'm just such a sensitive and emotional person in general.
And now it's been worse since giving birth. So am I the asshole for reporting my boss after he forced me to attend a meeting despite knowing I was in labor? Girl, suck it up.
I'm sorry. That's my hot take.
She needs to suck it up and complain. Suck it up and quit.
new job like the pay cannot be that good like if it's not if it's not a million dollars a year i don't i don't know why she's still there leave your husband can support you leave what the heck i'm blown away i was feeling really bad for her but now i'm like okay girl we get it you're sensitive you're nice you But sensitive, nice, and kind is not going to be okay for your mental health. Sometimes you need to stand up for yourself.
Like, girl, the fact that she stayed, too, when she was in labor, she's stronger than she thinks. If it would have been me in that meeting, I would have literally been like, uh.
I would have made them ask me to fucking leave you want me to stay in this meeting while i'm in labor on a ball like i would have i would have made them regret having me stay she is too nice she is too nice too nice i just want to give her a fucking hug because I know how fucking terrible this is. No, actually, she got me mad.
I wanted to give her a hug in the beginning of the story. But towards the end, I'm like, first of all, this is America.
You got Sue. Sue, I get money.
You know how much coins she can get? What amount of coins she can get from this lawsuit? This is a big lawsuit. You don't need to go back to work you'll be good I think there's some people that are so scared of rocking the boat and you shouldn't be don't be too nice it doesn't pay to be too nice get your fucking bag rock that boat rock the boat.
It's annoying. Because I can't even imagine.
What if something happened while she was in the meeting? Literally, a pregnancy freaks me out. That was scary.
I literally, I think about it. I'm like, I don't understand how our bodies can do it.
So much respect for people. Women are strong.
Strong. Even like, because I i have sisters too so i know how it is your body changes completely completely your life some people lose their teeth that one blows my mind that one blows my mind there's a there's a girl with a list and that list is a little scary but what if like there's so many things that can happen like i saw one the other day like oh the um fucking umbilical cord can like wrap around and like cause distress.
Yeah. There's a magnitude of issues.
Then you're not responsible for a whole human being after that. I don't even have to do a diaper.
You gotta wake up when they wake up. I'm fucked.
You can't sleep until they sleep. I need like eight to 10 hours of sleep a night.
Yeah. Otherwise I'm.
You're not going to't even take naps it's it's yeah it's not gonna go well for me no it'll go well you'd be a

great mom you'd be a great mom i think once they're two yeah before that it's it's yeah

it's looking a little dicey it's but no she needs to get an attorney get a lawyer yes quit the job

yes hr was already mad hr was on your side yeah go back to hr again get this other one

I'm sorry. she needs to get an attorney get a lawyer yes quit the job yes hr was already mad hr was on your side yeah go back to hr again get this other one under investigation like who works who are the co-workers that are giving her side eye bombastic side eyes like why this feels like amazon doesn't it feel like amazon is amazon's vibe like all of those people peeing in bottles in the warehouse i didn't hear about that one yeah because they were they couldn take breaks so they were peeing in bottles there's piss bottles all over the amazon warehouses oh my god yeah i'm gonna get a package you're waiting for a package like for two days and you see it it's like gatorade bottle of piss oh my god yeah wow i'm this one pisses me off what are the people saying top comment.
HR knows that if something had happened to you and your baby, the company would have been in deep, deep trouble. Your manager could have really damaged them.
That's why he's in trouble. Now they're about to screw themselves over again.
Not your fault. Have no pity.
Next comment down. And have no mercy.
They're going out of their way to screw with OP's work environment. There are both federal and state laws against what is being done for a reason.
Exactly. OP needs to nail them to the wall.
Yeah. Yep.
Ooh. I love.
I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but we'll figure out if I want to keep this or not I love suing I had a long case with Uber again we'll decide if we want to keep this or not but I had a long case with Uber because I got an Uber accident on my way it was like three years ago on my way to a date on my way to a date we're on the highway on the whatever LA highway is called and a car slams into the back of my car and I go flying

and my hip still hurts to today

like I busted my hip

and then

I go on a date and

went on a date with this guy a couple times and it was terrible

so I should have taken that as a sign like duh you gotta ask him

for a date clearly you're not supposed to keep dating

this guy this sign from God

but I didn't listen I learned my lesson

but the good thing for me was like

I sued Uber and I got a really good check

I'm sorry. a date clearly you're not supposed to keep dating this guy this time from god but i didn't listen i learned my lesson but the good thing for me it was like i sued uber and i got a really good check and that's what i realized i'm like oh this country has laws and stuff like that you can sue and get your coin so this girl huh she's missing out on the bag she wants to keep report that's the thing nine to five the job is not that important life your life is more important that's the thing i like don't don't quit because you definitely have a lawsuit here like you don't want to go out willingly you want a severance package like she only got one month maternity leave can we talk about how that's all she got up yeah how fucked up this country is on mandated maternity and paternity leaves there's not any paternity leave other countries get a year canada is amazing and they get baby boxes they get baby boxes like i think it's finland sends out like a baby box in sweden they send out a baby box you get like a shit ton of diapers formula a bassinet like all this shit in a baby box.
Wow. I mean, it's just so, this country is so interesting how it's like the best country in the world.
Interesting. Very interesting.
The best country in the world. But there's so many things that needs fixing.
I know. So many.
So many. I know.
First of all, the, yeah. First thing is the healthcare.
Healthcare? Yeah. That's the first thing.
Yeah. Let's get that fixed get that fixed everything everything but someone does make a good point here and they go she should sue even if it isn't for herself she should sue the ever-loving shit out of them so in the future maybe they won't do it to another woman who is even less capable of standing up for herself that that sentence hurt me another woman that's not capable of standing up for for themselves it's like come on like ladies we gotta we gotta we gotta see our worth and really just like stick up for ourselves like in this life all you got is yourself i don't care if you got a husband your mother your cousin like you have to be sticking up for yourself for yourself because no one else gonna stick up for you and even if they do you're not gonna have always have someone next to you like that lady if not for her husband pushing her she wouldn't have said anything right what an amazing partner yeah like truly and then for him to be like just quit i can't see you like this like it's hurting me quit i wonder why does she want to keep working? Because she wanted to be like, I can, I can like do it.
I don't know. What was it? I wonder if it's like income, if she's just like nervous about income and like new baby and like trying to support.
Yeah, there's a lot of different factors. Yeah, but it's sad because like, I mean, I'm sure there's times in your life, career, whatever, where it's like you've had to be smaller than, you know, what you want it to be.
Or you haven't spoken up in a moment just to not rock the boat. And it's like, it does happen a lot.
What was that? Is there a TikTok that says, were you silent or were you silenced? I think it was Oprah. It was like the interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry.
And she was like, were you silent or were you silenced? That's why I feel like I want to sit her down. Were you silent or were you silenced? Literally.
Yeah, that's what it's giving. Oh, God.
Last comment I'll read. It's not about the money.
It's about sending a message. Nah, it's about the money.

The message, yes.

But it's about the money.

Because the money will be,

will have her comfortable.

Yeah.

She'll be chilling.

You know how expensive diapers

baby formulas are?

She'll be comfortable.

As she should be.

Yeah.

As she should be.

The message, yes, is important.

But the money.

Send it.

I love money. Send.
Hit send money Send it I love money

Send

Hit send

Send it

Okay next one

So I saw a video where you gave JLo a Nigerian name

Omi?

Yeah you

Yes yes I gave her

What did I give her?

Ifunaya

Yep

Ifunaya means love in my language Igbo

And you know JLo is a certified lover girl i mean we've seen all her relationships we've seen them she loves she just loves each other a big heart and she just loves love and that's why i gave her the name ifunaya i love that what would you give me oh you can think about it too i'll think about it i'll think about it i this one it is titled am i the asshole for telling my friend it's weird to give his daughter a nigerian name when he isn't even nigerian okay that's like it oh let me think about it it depends if it's coming from a culture appreciation way but it also it also can be weird it's a fine line it's a fine I don't know. Let's hear it.
Let's about it. It depends.
If it's coming from a culture appreciation way, but it also can be weird. It's a fine line.
It's a fine line. I don't know.
Let's hear it. Let's get into this story.
Let's get into this. One of my best friends from childhood, we'll call him Jake, is having a baby with his fiance.
My friend is biracial, half black, half white. But he was entirely raised by his white mom and white stepdad.
His girlfriend is black, but again, she's not Nigerian or from Africa. I am white.
I mean no offense to my friend, but he grew up around mostly white people. And it was only in college when he went through this phase where he started to really try and be more, quote, black and hang around people more, and behave more about what people perceive people that are black should act like.
And I think some part of it was an act, but whatever. Another note is that his fiance isn't really a huge fan of me, and apparently when she first met me, she got the impression I was racist.
Oh. I wonder why.
I wonder why. I don't really know why, but that kind of soured our relationship.
But we're friendly and cordial to each other. So when I was hanging out with Jake a few days ago, he was trying to order monogrammed pillows or something cheesy like that, and then revealed that they were naming their daughter Morayo? Okay, Morayo.
Morayo. Like, what's Morayo? Morayo.
Okay, I don't know what that name means. It's not my tribe, but it is a Nigerian name.
Which is a Nigerian name, apparently. He kept gushing over the name, and I personally just thought it was weird to name your kid a name from a country you know literally nothing about.
So I asked, quote, Are you sure you want to give your kid a Nigerian name? I mean, you guys aren't Nigerian. He seemed offended and said, quote, yeah, but we're black and we have roots from Nigeria anyways.
So I probably should have let it go. But then I said in a mostly joking matter, quote, so if I took a DNA test and found out I'm 1% African, Should I give my kid a Nigerian name? This girl's stressing me out

Jake Quote, so if I took a DNA test and found out I'm 1% African, should I give my kid a Nigerian name? This girl stressing me out. Jake got mad and cursed at me a few times and said that tons of black names are African or Arabic and that I should mind my own white business.
Yes. And I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Exactly. He did change the subject after that, but I can tell it bothered him.
Shortly after, his fiance publicly revealed the name on social media and people started gushing about it. And his fiance made a comment on Facebook about how she was glad they liked it and, quote, some of Jake's friends thought it was too African.
LOL. Not the shade.
She knows I follow her and obviously posted that for me to see it am i the asshole here i'm conflicted like i didn't think it was a big enough deal for jake to go rat on me to his fiancee who he knows doesn't really like me but maybe i was out of line to criticize the name choice maybe first of all i think she's in love with jake because homegirl needs to mind her business like something fishy's going on here like overstepping like she has overstepped and squashed her way into a business that does not involve her if that's not your child why do you care that much even the fact that you go on reddit and write a whole post to complain to try to look for people who are going to validate your opinion nah girl and the thing is there's a lot of names american english names that we don't know the roots of charlie uh theresa or like i'm even andrea like my name i don't know what the roots are but you still name your kids those names i'm Morgangan i'm pretty sure is like welsh see like i feel like language is so crazy to me like the fact that all of our languages have like descended through different things like a lot is from latin like it's beautiful how it's really changed over time but like at the same time it's like they all have roots and so if someone feels a part of them is calling to a name that maybe has a different root like let them have it let them have it let them have it why is this a big deal to her like maybe she doesn't like her name and she's like i wish i could change my name a girl i know it was it's it's just on call for and i feel like the meaning of the name alone it's like like i was thinking that it was an appreciation thing because they've keep on like talking about how much they love the name so there's that she is the asshole yeah definitely i know and there i'm looking back at the post unclear if our writer op we call it op original poster oh unclear if it's a girl or a guy but i do read this as more feminine almost like well his fiancee doesn't like me i have no idea why like yeah i got the vibe as like lady that's what i'm getting i'm like i also feel like a guy would never have said anything right a guy would have been like well that's dude. Yeah.
What does it mean? Okay. Good for you.
Yeah. Do you, bro.
There's I just have so much wrong with this. And like, I feel like there's a lot of details being left out.
Like the fact that Jake was like, we're black and we have roots from Nigeria anyways. Because you know how people most every black person originates, I believe every black person originate from africa and most people now that are in that diaspora that's like africans in america black people in america they're all trying to discover rediscover their roots right and they do the whole accessory dna 23andme thing yeah and they find out oh i'm like five percent from ethiopia or like 40 50 percent Ghanaian, Nigerian.
And now they're all traveling back to go like, yo, let's see where my ancestors are from. And it's such a beautiful thing.
I love that. So I understand where, and I hate the way she was explaining it or he was explaining it.
OP was explaining how like Jake was looking into how to be more black, where it's like, he's just trying, he's curious. We're all curious about like our identity and where we all like our origin story.
And that's what it was for him. And it was cool that he was doing that.
And I even love even more that they're like, let's give her an African name so she can also stand out. People will know immediately like this is a child of royalty.
Yeah. You know? Or, and just like feeling so connected to then your heritage, because the way that our writer described this, where it was like, he was entirely raised by his white mom and white stepdad.
He didn't hang out with black people until college. Like how tough was that for him? Like not having any friends that you can like relate to.
Yes. Dealing with like racism and all of this stuff.
Like maybe having a parent that doesn't even know how to do your hair like there's so much other context in that and it's like okay it's cool so he finally maybe got a sense of community where he was not receiving that exactly and you're saying he was faking it right fuck you you do sound racist people don't like when people change that's just the truth and this is their friend from college right so childhood childhood right childhood best friends they people don't like it's like when when you go back to your your hometown they're like oh you changed up you different now like oh i hate that it's like no i just evolved i just grew i discovered who i was and i love myself aren't we all growing we're all growing right should be and this is another example of someone who's not growing and doesn't want people because when they see people like oh they're evolving oh i'm being left behind i want to drag them down he said people need y'all need better friends on reddit yeah that's circle friends no like that person is not um jake's friend and he's a hater yeah and why is everyone's name jake i don't know i don't know because i think the last one too was jake i'm like i know jake the very loud guy too yeah i don't know god you got a good little memory over there thank you yeah this is wild to me i i feel like there's so many times you should not give unsolicited opinions a baby name is one of them asking people when they're gonna have kids oh that's another big one like stop or like even like being like when are you guys getting engaged if you've been together for four or five years i don't know ask fucking him when i'm not in the room right i'm like i started crying towards the end i was like oh i don't fucking know like how long were you guys dating for uh just like four and a half years almost five that's a good time oh yeah getting almost almost a fifth one yeah i was like dude after five i'm like we're gonna have to wrap it up pulling the ripcord after that baby shit or get off the pot yeah i was like like at a certain point like you know or you don't know and if you if you don't know by now, like, we gotta go. Yeah.
That's always an awkward stage. It's like, okay.
What's your other unsolicited advice? Yeah. I think, like, even just opinions about, like, hmm.
I'm always careful because I always give advice. Right? And my friends always come to me for advice.
Well, yeah, because you know best. Yeah, period.
Love you. So I so I always try to ask them like are you telling me this problem because you want my advice or you just want me to listen that's a thing I learned because I started realizing like Dre you're giving me that kind of advice they're good but it's not what they want to hear so we just want to vent it out I need to be more conscious of that because i just jump to solutions yeah and then they get they like they do they get mad at you and it's like i'm just i'm just trying to help so yeah i gotta i gotta ask there is like do you want comfort or do you want a solution like literally asking as someone's venting i gotta i gotta be more confident in myself that i can i that.
No, you can't. It's a problem solving.
Again, engineers. Like I always want to just like, okay, what's going to be the solution for this? And yeah.
What type of engineering did you do? Industrial. So I worked in a warehouse doing process improvement from how the goods came into the warehouse to how they leave.
Tried to improve that process so it can come out of the warehouse in time. Is that like what? Supp a part of it supply chain yeah yeah exactly so fun that's so crazy well it's a good experience for you getting your card game yeah yeah so when i have my warehouse for my card game i'm working on if y'all didn't know um it's called sabi slangs basically it's i go around the street teaching people nigerian slangs and people love it right so i'm like how can i bring this slangs to people's homes in a fun way where they can learn the slangs but also play a competitive game that has challenges in it? Can people order this yet? Not yet.
Not yet? Not yet, not yet. When you have the link ready, send it my way.
I sure will. And we'll put it in the description of this episode.
Oh, thank you. So like, depending on when you're listening to this, you can buy Drea's card game.
But that's amazing.

I'm aiming for like end of Q4, like December period.

When I'm looking for manufacturers and it's like, yeah, it's a legit thing.

So much work.

I know.

I have an idea for a card game.

I'm coming to you.

I'll be like, help.

Oh, I got you.

I got you.

Of course.

What do you think the vote on this one is?

Let me think about it.

Because this is a racial thing, too. And I'm thinking about Redditdit the demographic on reddit i think it might be a little bit mixed i think it might be a little bit mixed because no actually no no no they're gonna be um against the op right yeah op is the asshole yes god oh top comment has been deleted but the next one down you the asshole.
I think your buddy's girlfriend may have recognized your true self. That happens because when you've had a friend for so long, you're so used to them.
You don't see their flaws, right? You're like, that's just, that's just Rebecca. That's just, you know.
Yes. Versus like when someone else looks at our friendship, they're like, that person is not treating you right.
Yeah. That person is not a good person.
But you won't believe it until you finally experience maybe this experience of her or him being like an asshole. Yeah.

That name kind of made Jake realize like, I don't think my fiance is probably right. Yeah.
You know, she sent something. And I do think that happens a lot where like, especially you've been friends since childhood.
It oh that's just how so-and-so is you give them so many passes because of the history or you know whatever the length of the relationship and it's like no but like genuinely not a good friend to you right so and it's hard to when to realize when to like okay when it's time to cut the cord a relationship since childhood is a hard one it's hard putting a distance between that person yeah it's really challenging next comment down seriously just my first impression after reading this post it sounds like op doesn't have issues with the name he has issues with his friend acting black yes there's something there like Whether it's like you don't like the change you're seeing in your friend but also like is the chain the change like better for him his mental health his growth like yes it because okay because there's certain way the the conversations conversations may be going when he was acting for example more white quote-un unquote it's like that friend that's probably racist could say a lot of unhinged things about like black people and Jake would just let it slide like okay yeah yeah you know maybe he'll probably say the n-word and Jake would just let it slide that's a good example yeah versus like now that Jake is now woke and he's now like no no no you can't be talking about that about this race or this people like don't be saying this yeah so now that Jake is now woke and he's now like, no, no, no. You can't be talking about that about this race or this people.
Like don't be saying this. So now that OP is uncomfortable.
It's no longer comfortable. The conversations are different.
And, you know, people are not comfortable. They're not happy when they're uncomfortable.
That's what I'm trying to say. Yeah.
Something's going on here. It's ethnicity.
It's the black thing. Yeah.
They don't like, you have to, yeah, you have to choose your friends wisely for sure. And like, when your friend, non-black friend or non-colored friend is not okay with your, with your blackness, at least for me, because when I show up in rooms, you're always going to know I'm Nigerian.
My accent naturally just switches every now and then. I'm going to talk about i love my my people i'm gonna talk about how much i love black people i love you know yeah and some people are just not comfortable when it comes to like conversations they're not they're not knowledgeable about because they're not knowledgeable about blackness and they're just like uh i'm uncomfortable instead of like him to be like i'm open-minded hey teach me more about your culture teach me more about this what do you mean you mean like, y'all do this? What does this mean? Nah, so.
That's so goofy. Because here I am, I'm like, give me all the slags.
I'm like, I'm ready for the card game now. No, wahala.
No, wahala. I'm ready.
I'm ready. Let me at them.
Come in, coach. That's because you're a good person at heart, right? And maybe your upbringing.
I don't know how your parents raised you or what it is. You're around diverse people.
They probably grew up in a white area, those people, right? Well, I did too. Like my high school, like it's northern Minnesota.
My whole town had 5,000 people at the time I lived there. So it's very small.
But like I can't imagine just being close-minded and not wanting to learn or experience new things or new cultures. There's new people.
I'm just like, I can't imagine just being close-minded and not wanting to learn or experience new things or new cultures, new people.

I'm just like, I can't imagine that.

And that's what this person is giving.

Small, close-minded.

But we do have some growth because OP did have an edit.

Okay, I get it.

I'm the asshole.

I'll apologize to my friend and his girlfriend that's it how did they realize they're the asshole from the everyone just attacking their ass in the comments so this is really good power of reddit baby you don't need therapy you just get reddit just get roasted get roasted on reddit that's it that's all you need that doesn't happen very often i will say really a lot of times people will double down in the comments oh yeah yeah moving along though okay this next one is six days old coming from am i the asshole titled am i the asshole for making a scene when myfriend Tried to Protect Her Peace? I don't know how to title the post. I do apologize.
My son is 11 months old, a 97th percentile for height. He is a big-ass baby, currently 36 inches tall, or about the size of your average two-and-a-half-year-old, and he is already wearing three is already wearing three toddler clothing.
Wow. However, despite him being so big, he is still just a baby.
And most of his nutrition is still from breast milk. For the fourth, we had a big family cookout and my brother invited his girlfriend.
I live out of state and I didn't want my flights to be too close together, so I'm staying a bit longer.

My brother and his girlfriend are doing the same thing.

My family is aware that my son is a baby, obviously,

but my brother's girlfriend was not and was initially very shocked when she saw him misbehaving.

We explained that he's still a baby, so he's still just exploring the world. She remained uncomfortable, but we mostly avoided each other.
Because he's so big, feeding him is a chore, so I use an armchair as there isn't enough support elsewhere, and so there isn't much I can do about covering up. He gets sweaty under all the blankets and won't eat.
It's been a tense couple of weeks.

Last night, I think we both kind of lost it. My son needed feeding and she was in the chair.
I asked her if she could move, which she whined about, but did get up. She was in the chair, like feeding chair? I think it's like an armchair like this and she'll like rest the baby on like an armrest.
Okay. I was like, girl, what you doing in doing to feed it here get up everything was fine for another hour or so until she demanded my brother pay for her to go to a hotel for the remaining nights because she can't cope with me and the baby he asked what she meant and she said that he's clearly big enough to be on real food and I enjoy making her uncomfortable by feeding

him in front of her. I got embarrassingly upset and told her that she should keep her mouth shut because she clearly doesn't know the first thing about parenting and certainly doesn't know anything about me or my son.
We argued the same points for a little more until my son woke up from his nap and I left to collect him. She then, after telling us all loudly that she needs to protect her peace, which honestly is not a phrase I thought was real until she said it, my brother told me I was being immature and he left with her.
My dad is on my side, but did tell me I should have removed myself from the situation as I'm a grown woman and she's still a teenager. I'm three years older than her, so I think that's bullshit.
My mom is neutral, but is still trying to convince my brother to come home and ended up paying for their hotel. She thinks I could have been a lot more understanding.
Am I the asshole? Was I completely out of order? Hmm. What was the age thing that you said that you read? So OP does not mention their age in the post.
However, there is a comment that OP's brother's girlfriend is 19. Okay.
Okay. Cause I heard something about, she's still a teenager teenager 19 yeah okay i don't know this one is a little bit tricky because if the girl is 19 she's young immature doesn't know anything about like kids yeah and and i it's not like she had a big baby it's not the baby's big and like you ready for this yeah let me see how big this baby

is 36 inches tall at 11 months old that is a big baby that's an nfl star you would think that's at least a four-year-old. Oh, yeah.
No, that's tall.

That's a long, long, long,

long, long, long, long. That's a big baby.

Look at this baby.

That's a big baby. So,

I would...

I'm thinking of a matter of a teenager.

I don't want to sound like a

bitch, but if that's me and I

see this long baby, and

she said big. Let me say big.
Big baby. I I'm like aren't you supposed to be feeding it regular food like why is it still sucking on your titty that's and sometimes it can make someone feel uncomfortable not the act of breastfeeding the act of breastfeeding I don't care breastfeeding public breastfeeding private it doesn't matter feed your baby wherever the fuck you want to feed your baby I can't lie if I'm in public and I see such a big baby that looks like a 4 year old still getting breast milk I'd be like hmm what's happening here I've seen a 4 year old breastfeed in public I didn't say a damn word though oh see that's good you don't say shit you mind your business like you oh okay you know you keep plugging along but you couldn't help but I would stay i would keep staring because i'm like i'm curious like what's happening like what is like is formula too expensive or is it's like hey they want those antibodies they want all that all that good stuff that's in the juice yeah the all the natural the most healthy way to get nutrients but yeah i I tried breast milk recently it yeah stop it stop it just stop stop stop the cap do you have the video stop it why why why why would you why couldn't you go to starbucks and get a latte so we've had a we have breast milk stories that pop up every once in a while and there was was one where someone put breast milk in their nieces or nephews ear for an ear infection.
And the mom got pissed. And I was like, you know, I'd like breast milk.
I'd like to, you know, put some in my ear. My ear hurts, whatever.
So someone brought me breast milk to one of our live shows. Stop it.
Oh, was it their breast milk? Yeah. Yeah.
And they, you know, they told my fiance, Justin, you know, met them and she goes, yep, it's straight from the tap. Fresh from the source.
Fresh from the source. And then the husband was standing there next to her and he goes, yeah, it's pretty good.
So we tried it after the show. We took breast milk shots.
And yeah, Carrie's got the video.

We need the receipts.

I feel like this is just a stunt.

You can text it to me too.

Or airdrop it.

What?

Is this what we're doing now?

This what we're doing now?

We're just out here taking shots of breast milk.

Yeah.

Liquor too expensive.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And Ed, honestly, I was very, very surprised by the flavor. I'm very confused.
So there's the vial of the milk. That's the vial she brought it in.
It was like an apothecary vial. It was so fancy.
And then the shots of breast milk are all lined up. And me, Justin, and a couple of people that worked at the comedy club in Arizona, we all took these shots.
You know the milk that's left in a bowl of like cinnamon toast crunch? Yeah, we cheers. You're cheersing with the shots? Yeah.
With the booby milk shot? Girl. Hold on, you're about to take a sip.
Can I the audio yeah and you have your this yeah not you sharing it to everybody in the room yeah how did it smell like it didn't smell like anything and it tasted great so you know the milk that's left at the bowl of a cinnamon toast crunch cereal i don't know if she was eating a cinnamon. I don't know what the deal was.
It tasted like cinnamon toast crunch milk. It was so good.
Not your whole team. The whole team drinking breast milk.
Carrie couldn't do it. Not Carrie.
Everybody else. Lauren, one of our other hosts.
This is like the end of year party. Guys, end of year party.
Thank you for bringing such a great sport. Yeah.
We're all taking shots of breast milk. Yeah.
straight from the tap baby straight from the tap that's what you're Minnesota girl yeah straight from the tap you know so after that I'm like breast milk boobs you breastfeed your baby wherever you want I know I can't look at you to say I know I'm sorry I'm looking at your face I'm seeing a cup of milk right now. Just some titties.
Yeah. Titties.
Yeah. Tap.
Just tap. Oh, God.
No, but okay. Back to this one.
I don't think she's the asshole for breastfeeding her baby in the chair. She politely asked, hey, I need to feed my baby.
Can you get out of the chair? Says the girlfriend got out of the chair. Cool.
But then for the girlfriend to be like, I need to protect my peace. I can't see this baby get fed anymore.
I get she's 19. Yeah.
But that does feel a little old to kind of like, I would never like, even, even if I was uncomfortable with it, I would never make a scene. I would like pull my boyfriend be like hey babe can we go grab like can you come with me and get a water hey i'm just kind of uncomfortable like do you think we could get a hotel like do you think we could get some space right i would never want to look like a jackass in front of my boyfriend's family that's a little argument you have behind closed doors people i think is the upbringing thing i don't know what it is but if you are raised to be respectful the communication skills will be there you could have communicated to like you said to her boyfriend yeah hey what's up with this kid like isn't he too big like what's happening and then because she said like she didn't know that the baby was 11 months right yeah it's 11 months so if she knew that was 11 month old baby she would have known okay that's you know it's claire it's just a big baby you know big ass baby big ass baby big ass long long long goose baby yeah that's that problem is solved yeah people don't have to communicate and i think it's just it's just impulsive man that's impulse and i guess that does come with being 19 you know you yeah you aren't the mature-est person and think about this generation is like instant gratification like now now now so i'm uncomfortable so you gotta know now i'm uncomfortable it's not like hey yeah can we talk come have a chat place yeah and in the same breath like i guess like because i was gonna say op was like a little i was gonna say a little tacky for kind of clapping back at her after she said that i need to protect my peace which can i just tell you how much i hate that phrase why you hate it i don't know it just feels like a cop-out where it's like you need to protect your peace so you're too immature to communicate oh okay go go protect your peace right that's an easy it's just like or it irks me yeah but i think she did kind of stoop a little bit but at the same time if you're getting shamed for breastfeeding your baby within your own home or your family's home like you know what i mean was she she was uncomfortable with the breastfeeding that's what she was uncomfortable with right that's what it's not that's what it's sounding like not with the fact that the baby was too big to be breastfed or not too big right yeah what made her because that's what i'm trying to understand like why if you're uncomfortable with the breastfeeding like did she would she be more comfortable if she covered the baby because i know she mentioned she doesn't cover the baby because the baby gets hot yeah right just looking at the comments from op um she was just discomforted it doesn't really elaborate like if she is uncomfortable because the baby is so big but like it's not your house it's like kind of like tomato tomato like it's still an 11 month old baby it doesn't matter the size and it's not even her house it's not it's not her space you are the guest so whatever is happening is happening is none of your business yeah you need to mind your business myb mind your business that's literally literally it

like my baby you're a guest here this is her boyfriend's place right the family's place

her boyfriend's family like do you not want the boyfriend's family to like you that's my thought

yes coming in here having all these opinions yes all this like trying to make things

like girl shut up and be a cute little darling girlfriend so you can have future in-laws. That's, that's, that's a solution.
Literally. OP's out here in the comments.
She's clapping back, huh? She's, she's got, you know, some support it seems. So top, top comment is, I know how you feel.
My boys are 6'6 and 6 and six five respectively it looked like they should have been able to eat a porterhouse every day so i get where you are coming from some people are more literal they see you breastfeeding a love seat and they just can't cope a love seat i don't know they that's what they did oh opie responds back his dad is six'7", and I'm so not prepared for him to be taller than me by the time he's like 5, laughing my ass off.

He's already past my hip.

I'm 5'1 on a good day.

Yo, she get it.

It's a boy?

That's about to be an athlete or something.

Like a model or something.

She better get ready.

He's going to eat a lot.

Yeah.

A lot.

She's got to go to Costco. She got to go to costco for those groceries okay buy in bulk baby right someone goes oof i don't envy your pregnancy to be honest if he's always been big okay no but i actually thought the same thing i'm like how did she push that out a lot of people are curious about that and asking if her vagina is okay yeah Yeah, yo.
Because I was thinking, as you were reading the story, I didn't want to say it. But hey, we're ladies here, honey.
We're ladies here. I was like, girl.
Watermelon. You know, you hear my stories about, oh, people want to tune out this podcast.
Oh, the tears. The tears.
Yeah. Yeah, because.
The episiotomy where they cut. That freaks me out, too.
Y'all, if you ever watch giving birth videos, you would not want to give birth.

Have you watched?

I watched.

I watched my sister when it was our first pregnancy.

We were watching it together.

I've never watched.

And I was like, sister, good luck.

I know like if you massage oil around there, you're less likely to tear. I'm'm gonna be spraying cans of olive oil up there every day like avocado oil canola oil oil make it rain oil I'm gonna do whatever I can start me off in the water birth bath tub I don't fuck anything anything but comments are asking like, what does your baby do when he misbehaves?

And someone goes, behaving like a baby?

Screaming, throwing food, slapping his hands against surfaces, putting things in his mouth.

He looks big.

So people assume these are inappropriate behaviors.

But developmentally, he's on par.

What about this?

Can he walk?

I guess he's not because 11 months or maybe. Yeah start they start kind of cruising on furniture yeah uh around that age typically so i mean that's kind of crazy because usually when they're cruising on furniture they're a lot smaller this is a whole different dynamic for me like my nieces and nephews because my whole family we're tall i'm six one and a half six two and my nieces they're all they all look like they're five but like my my nephew he's like two he just turned three so he can't talk but he looks like he could talk so anytime you go up to him they're always like hey how are you what's your name and he just looks at him like how tall is he he's like the whatever that height yeah 36 inches for a two-year-old? Yep.
Actually a little taller. Oh, my gosh.
Well, yeah, you got the tall jeans. I would.
Okay. Not that I'm too far.
A little bit low. Yeah, I guess he's 32 inches or 30, 40 or something.
Yeah, 40. Yeah.
That's like my height. Stop it.
I'm five one and a half, five two and a half. You didn't look that small when I hugged you.
Huh. That's good height.
5'1? I stood up tall today. I know, right? Like, we're in the, yeah.
I know. Extra heights and issues.
I know. I usually got the platform, New Balance.
Just prop me up an extra inch, you know. That's how I feel that.
I'll take anything I can get. Sometimes when I'm, like, reaching the top of my cabinet, I like to go on my tiptoes just to feel like, I just feel how it feels to be fun size I feel inept a lot of days like my fiance put like these sourdough crackers from Costco best fucking crackers if you ever see them I'll put a picture of them in here they're so good but he put the crackers on the top shelf and I couldn't reach them I was like I can't eat them he's like he did this on purpose he did it on purpose he's trying to stand for himself god they're the best crackers next time you need to take something and put it like down below so he doesn't see it payback payback is a bitch as they say um yeah but a lot of comments from op there is one here uh someone asked why don't you just feed him formula and bottle feed him so you don't make other people uncomfortable oh no no no no no don't do that she goes why would i stop just to pay for formula my tits are free period that should be on a shirt why should i use for my tits are free that should that could go far that could go very very far yeah people are like why didn't you just move the armchair out of another room? OP goes, do you know how heavy armchairs are?

So I think people were coming up with like a lot of solutions.

But at the same time, OP doesn't need a solution.

She doesn't need a solution.

That's her parents house.

To me, I'm like, this is my territory.

My rules.

You're the guest.

Abide by the house rules.

Like, let's leave it.

Well, and like the girlfriend can find another room for 20 minutes while the baby gets fed. Yes.
Come on. But that's what people with common sense would do like us.
But that girl doesn't have common sense. I know.
It's not common anymore. No.
Okay. Shame.
Our last one. No.
Yeah. I'm going to give you a choice.
Okay. Yeah.
So the first option is titled,

Am I the asshole for not allowing my husband to go on a business trip with the woman he cheated on me with?

Ah.

Oh.

Okay.

What's the other one?

Number two.

I just saw my little brother in a porno.

Cheated on me.

We don't want to talk about child porn.

I'm sure he's probably 18, but I don't want to talk about that.

19.

19.

Okay, there we go.

Okay, so this one is coming from A-I-T-A-H, four days old.

Am I the asshole for not allowing my husband to go on a business trip with the woman he cheated on me with. Oh.
My friends have mixed opinions about this. Here's our story.
Six years ago, my husband cheated on me with a woman who was part of our social circle. Chai.
I found out about it and wanted to divorce him. My husband made a considerable effort to repair our marriage and I decided not to go through with the divorce.
I can say that since then, and until recently, we had a beautiful relationship without major issues. I almost forgot about what happened until, in 2023, that woman coincidentally got hired by the same company where my husband works.
My husband did not hide this from me. In fact, he seemed bothered by the awkward situation.
Especially since the company requires employees to declare any past or present relationships with co-workers. He didn't say anything at work about their past relationship because all his colleagues know us both and know we've been married for 12 years.
It would have been very strange. I felt chills down my spine when I heard the news, but I tried not to think too much about it.
My husband hasn't shown any interest in that woman and our relationship hasn't changed at all. It's still a beautiful relationship.
Last week, both of them were notified that they have to go on a business trip to Canada. The two of them and another person from the company, but from a branch in another state who doesn't know either my husband or that woman.
This time, no matter how much I wanted to overlook it, I can't. The thought of my husband being around this woman again

for 14 days drives me crazy. I told him I don't want to hear about such a thing, that if he goes on this trip, I'll leave home for good.
I know I'm putting him in a difficult situation, especially since he can't really miss this trip without facing repercussions at work. I don't know what to do.
I feel guilty, but also justified for behaving this way. Am I the asshole in this situation? Oh, man, it's a tough one.
It's a tough one. Because he needs to go on a business trip to make that money.
But then that business trip is with the girl that be shaking her booty in front of her husband's face. Hey, God.
No, no, no, no. I don't think I'd be able to handle that.
I don't think so either. No matter how much trust you have, it's...
Temptation is real. I know.
Temptation is real. And to me, I don't think she just randomly, oh, whoa, she just randomly got the job.
Dude, she did that on purpose she plotted it all she was

trying to wiggle her way back in and steal that man for good exactly there's no way coincidentally she got hired coincidentally my ass he's probably been at that same company forever right and she knows check linkedin you know everybody they be using linkedin it shows little miss man still works there she's like oh let me go in there yeah and they were all friends she was circle. She knows where he works.
She planned it from the start. She knows what she's up to.
And why is the trip 14 days? What business deal they're working on they need 14 days? That's a long trip. All you need is two, three business days and come back home.
That's a long trip. That's a long trip.
That's a long time. Yeah.
And you know when you go on business trips with somebody, you spend a lot of time together. And what made it a no is like the other two people that are going don't really know the couple.
Right? That's what she said? Yeah. Yeah.
It sounds like the other colleague or whatever that's going on the trip has no idea who the husband or that woman are. So they can do any level amount of flirting and they wouldn't clock on it.

Yeah.

Because they'd be like,

oh, we don't know their partners.

Nah, that's messy.

Yeah.

Whatever company that is, that's messy.

I know she was the first one to volunteer.

I volunteer as tribute to go on this trip.

Probably.

Yeah.

Which, what would you do in this situation?

Like, he obviously didn't disclose their relationship

because he was like, I'm married. It would be embarrassing to admit to my work that I had an affair like that's obviously why he didn't disclose when she got hired so he's technically would get in trouble if he disclosed now but I feel like shouldn't he like what do you think he should do in terms of like, this is your job on the line

if you turn down this trip

for seemingly no reason?

You know what I mean?

I'm going to need them

to go on ChatGPT

and find a reason.

Find a good reason.

What is the best reason

that can help me

get out of a really

important work trip?

And I'm sure AI

will come up with a good reason.

You can find a reason.

I'm getting a vasectomy.

I can't go.

Yeah, exactly.

Can't fly for two weeks.

My great-great-grandma died. I i don't know kill somebody in your family like pop off i used to do that a lot in um i used to do that a lot in um in college for reasons both my grandmas are dead rest in peace they watch for me i love them so much thank you grandma but i always just used to like just kill them didn.
Didn't no teachers asked you for obituaries, huh? Yeah, I used to make one. I used to make, I made, I made a fake one.
So bad. Yeah, whenever I needed excuses.
Fully committed. Yeah, when I used to make excuses for like missing certain like assignments or certain like times when I couldn't show up.
And I think I used to go on trips. I used to go on trips to be out here trying to make my social media career.
Yeah, I used to, yeah. Oh no, no, no.
Actually, when I think about it, I think it really well so I can make sure. This was the reason why I did it.
I needed to go to Nigeria for a longer vacation because my family, oh, we always go back to Nigeria for the holidays. And we only had a short amount of time for holiday off yeah in school so i would have to you know look at you that's the only reason yeah and i've done that many many times oh that's a bad one that's a hot confession there you go i like it though because the system like it the system is flawed so how can you make the system work for you period i like it he needs to go kill his grandma.
The grandma's already dead. If the grandmas are alive, kill your great-grandmother.
There you go. So that way, you know, they're just rolling in their grave.
Yeah. My, you know, a lot of people's great-grandparents are still alive.
So, like, you know, it's believable. It's fine.
It's fine. It's fine.
Some type of reason, to be honest. It's fine.
Yeah, I would not. It would be a no for me.
But it's hard though because if it's like if he misses this trip, he could lose his job. Lose the job.
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
No, but like I think that's kind of the, it seems like that's the ultimatum she's kind of giving him. I wonder, and people might yell at me for saying this, but if she doesn't work, my advice would be like, well, you go on the trip with them.
Like, you just hang out at his hotel room. You can get dinner together when he's done working.
Yo, that is a great, that's the perfect solution. Like, if she doesn't work or if she works remote and could do it, go with.
Go on the trip with him no one loses yeah he gets to keep his job being good standing not miss out on a promotion or whatever you get to go there you go then they're only having the interaction of like work yeah which is what they would have if they were at home in the office anyways Only thing is those work trips, they have long hours because you have a work dinner.

You have a work networking cocktail hour.

So much socializing.

And they eat in a hotel room like this.

Yeah.

What is he doing?

Biting your fingernails.

Like, what is he doing?

What is he doing?

I know.

It might also come down to trust.

A certain level of trust.

Yeah.

You know.

Which some people would say, why are they still together if she doesn't trust him to do that trip i think she is because the same the same girl he cheated on you was going that's the reason like everything was fine and it was still fine with them working together right yeah because you have to have a level of trust for him to be showing up to work absolutely working long hours with her probably yeah right this is just a whole like different unique scenario that could never happen unless somebody planned it and that girl right there that man cheater man stealer she planned it i think she did yeah top comment not the asshole jesus why would you even need to ask op responds because some of my friends say that i'm overreacting and putting my husband's career in jeopardy nah she needs new friends next comment that's always my that's always my i'm like no because it's it's no i feel like if i would no i don't think she's over i don't think you're overreacting those friends are maybe have different types of husbands they never probably have never been cheated on or something like different yeah different context for them and i do think like you can be upset about it and like i think they could be like you're not overreacting like completely justified your feelings are valid but just realize like his career might be on the line then yeah like that's how the conversation should have gone not oh you're overreacting it's fine it's fine no he did something that he shouldn't have done right stuck his dick where didn't belong okay and now he's got to deal with the consequences like you yeah which is what the next comment kind of says.

When choosing between your husband's career and the consequences of his infidelity, his career should lose every time.

Don't even consider this.

And if he fights you on it, bring up the D word.

What's the D word?

Divorce.

Whoa.

Give him the D.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Give him the D. Give him the D.
Give him the D. Divor the divorce i think here's the thing a real man will try to do whatever it takes to put her his husband's what his wife's right his wife's heart at peace yeah a real man would do whatever it takes to put his wife's heart at peace and he really loves really loves her and he knows this is really, really such a big deal, he would make whatever compromise.
Again, that's where it comes to compromise. And he would suggest what you suggested earlier where it's like, come on the trip with me, babe.
You have nothing to worry about. Reassurance is so important in relationships.
And if he's not giving her that reassurance, she's going to gonna be out here asking 10 000 friends for advice that she can never get an answer to except for the answer is coming from when you talk to your husband so yeah op does reply to that and goes he is considering discussing the issue with hr but the company has a zero tolerance for lies and hidden matters this also could affect his promotion in the years. And that's why he should have just got it out at the beginning.
Like, oh, you didn't want to embarrass yourself and admit you had an affair and damage your ego and your pride and look bad. You did it.
You should have thought about that before you did it. And also, her comments are all, it could, it could, it would, it would, it could, it could, it could, it would, it could, it could, it could, but it might not.
That's true. That's true.
Because he might be, now that I'm thinking, is he coming up with reasons to justify why he shouldn't say anything? Like, it could affect my promotion. It could, you know, ruin my job.
It could. Yeah, the world could end tomorrow too right like there could be a apocalypse right i always think about the earthquake and like california falls into the ocean like i think about that all the time anytime i think about earthquakes i'm like who's twerking is it me i think about nuclear bombs here a lot stop yeah i kind of like was like well that fallout show came out and it's like it's in la and you see la exploding with nukes whoa and that freaks me out because like if you if there was a nuclear war it'd be la new york bam they're out and we're in the blast zone so yeah we are it's okay but i think we're close enough i think we're close enough where we wouldn't know what happens like we're instant incineration so that is that is peace of mind at least.
No, it's not peace of mind. Protecting my peace.
Protecting my peace. It's all about the protecting my peace.
Oh man. We don't have an update from OP.
So no idea how this is turning out. But we're going to have to keep our eyes open.
If worst case, if he goes into cheats, should she and cheat too find out on our next episode an eye for an eye baby uh thank you so much for coming on thank you this was fun this was really good i i'm so glad i put in some stories about nigerian culture too i just it was so good that was great thank you for like adapting those like incorporating those stories because i was happy sharing more about the culture of having you here hearing about the weddings is so beautiful right so it's giving you about to have a nigerian wedding don't pass me don't pass me that money dance right we're bringing that that's getting incorporated into my wedding for sure i love that for sure an invitation make sure y'all bring stacks of ones okay yeah well there's other cultures too like i know my friend um she's armenian and they they did that as well for for their wedding so it's so cool yeah i have an armenian wedding coming up in october and i have a jewish and persian wedding coming up in september as well too you yeah this is a good series for you, yes. Speaking of your content, where can people find you? How can they watch all of your amazing videos? Yes, you can watch my amazing videos at Drea underscore knows best on Instagram.
Drea knows best on TikTok. A lot more videos on TikTok.
Let's see. When are you going to get that YouTube rolling again? Girl, I'm happy you asked.
I love your YouTube thank you thank you boo I'm thinking about like starting more YouTube content that's more like when it comes to culture based so inviting other people from different cultures to come and teach me their slangs and I teach them my slangs I love that and kind of like when you think about like Jubilee, BuzzFeed like what they do yeah but the overall arching overall arching, the anchor is going to be culture. I love that.
So I'm working on that. The first thing I got to do is finish my card game, Sabi Slangs.
I have to finish Sabi Slangs. I love it.
And when that comes out, hopefully before, by December it should be out. I can give the world some Nigerian slangs in their homes.
What a good little holiday gift for people out there. Oh, back guys circle back you might be hearing this in what month are we in july yeah it's like a couple months but you know november december start looking yeah november start looking for dre's game yes yes it's so fun i'm so proud of myself like every time i'm working on it like building it from scratch when you think of an idea it's like oh it's an idea but when you start doing it you're like oh wow it's actually it's a lot of work yeah but then you get excited as just it's coming together that's how i felt about the podcast yeah that's so cool i get you i used to have a podcast actually called dude for the content bring it back it was giving content creator tips yeah well i mean you you've done so much you were like in forbes i saw like some interview you did too talking about like how to create your community yeah this right here I have a lot of wisdom up there consulted for like Coca-Cola Walmart I was like oh Disney all these different brands yeah you know when you when you've been in this industry for a long time there's a lot of things you've learned when it comes to creating content that resonates with people and authentic marketing like you said earlier you watch that video, my marketing, my ad, and you didn't know.
I had no idea. I was like, I love this.
Her family's here. Oh, thank you.
It was so good. Got to teach people how to do that.
That's how marketing should be like. It should be fun and feel like authentic and resonate with people.
So I'm happy to do what I'm doing. I love my community.
I love social media. And, you know, now I have a new love for you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
I just, I love this. Thank you.
All of Dreya's links will be in the show notes, the YouTube description. Description? God, I can't even talk at the end here.
It's okay. Be sure to go follow.
I mean, every video has just been so fun.

And I love all the slangs.

Get the game.

But until next time, guys.

Bye.

Bye. Thank you.