WWDTM: Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe

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And the voice is smooth and WBEZ Chicago. This is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

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I am the voice as smooth

as a baby's butt.

I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host

at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts

Building in Chicago, Illinois.

Filling in for Peter Sagal, Dulce Sloan.

It's a me!

Thank you!

Thank you, Bill, and thanks, everybody.

We have a great show for you today.

Now, I know some of y'all are wondering,

how does she get this job filling in for Peter Sagal?

I mean, well, who knew that a man who runs so much couldn't beat me in a leg wrestling match? Later on, we'll be talking to sports power couple Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe about their new podcast, A Touch More. But first, it's your turn to touch us more i'm single by giving us a call the number is 888-WAIT-WAIT that's 888-924-8924 now let's welcome our first listener contestant hi you're on wait wait don't tell me hi my name is katie peel and i'm calling from denver colorado now what do you do in this here denver colorado up there in the mountains where you can't breathe well i am a recently resigned public school teacher and i manage a small coffee shop in a farm-to-table restaurant oh okay that's very colorado very npr well katie hey girl hey let me introduce you to our panel first is a comedian performing soon in Sunnyvale, California, California, and Eerie PA and host of the trivia podcast, Go Fact Yourself, airing now on LAS Public Radio.
It's Helen Hall. Hello.
Hi, Katie. Hi, everybody.
Next, the comedian will be part of Kyle Kinane's Kinane's Giving Show on November 27th at the Talia Hall in Chicago, it's Adam Burt. Hello, Katie.
And the comedian who will be at Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia November 9th through the 11th, it's Alonzo Bode. Hello, Katie.
Hey, girl. Welcome to the show, Katie.
Now, you're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news.
If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize. Any voice from our show, you choose on your voicemail.
You ready? Yep. Okay.
Here's your first quote. All the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies, all the single ladies.
That was somebody. Adding her name to the many celebrities endorsing Kamala Harris this week.
Who was it? Beyonce? Beyonce! With less than two weeks till election day, the celebrity endorsements are rolling in. Harris has now wrapped up Beyonce, Eminem, Taylor Swift,

and Bruce Springsteen, while

Trump has earned the endorsements of Joe Exotic

from Tiger King and a bunch

of people on Jeffrey Epstein's

flight dossier.

And it's not officially an endorsement.

You know, Beyonce just appeared at a

Kamala Harris rally in Houston yesterday.

You know, it was a move that, you know, she said, I support Kamala, but not enough to fly to Pennsylvania. And that is my Beyonce impression.
I love that because they keep saying, oh, it's unofficial. It's unofficial.
Like, really? Really? Beyonce is unofficially endorsing Kamala? Come on. I think we're a little bit past coy.
if she was a big RFK person what if Beyonce was

like I don't know there's just something about him that's that's the question where's the surprise is anyone surprised that Beyonce is supporting Kamala Harris only people who's surprised are the people who still claim to be undecided right those geniuses who are like oh well if Beyonce's involved. I'll maybe I can make a decision I mean what what other endorsement who let's see who else could there be well uh we did have a very according to my notes this week we also got the October surprise the endorsement that could change the race now Kamala Harris this is true got the endorsement of wait for it, the insane clown posse.
Because like, you know things are getting crazy when Shaggy Too Dope is out here calling for a saner clown posse. All right, all right, Dulce, you backed me into a corner.
I, Alonzo Bowden, now officially endorse Kamala Harris. Thank you! I'm in.
Alonzo. I'm in.
I'm shocked. I'm in.
I was at the edge of my seat the entire time. I know, I know.
You can relax. I didn't even know you were a juggalo.
Trump got a huge endorsement this week. Trump was endorsed by E.
coli. Oh, yeah.
He was pretending to work at that McDonald's. Yeah.
And five days after he worked at McDonald's, E. coli was like, well, if you let him in, you've got to let us in.
All right, Katie, here's our next quote. Are you sure? Would you like three more months at half price?

Those are questions we may never see again. Thanks to a new federal ruling making it easier to do what? I'm not sure.
Can I have a hint? Okay, I can give you a hint. Like, say you want to stop the gym.
Like, you know how Planet Fitness will con you into thinking you're going to come back? This new law will make it easier for you to not have to eat donuts in a gym. Gym members? You know what, Katie? You were close enough.
It's canceled subscription. Cancel subscription.
Oh. The new law is called Click to Cancel.
It requires that you be able to cancel a subscription the same way you signed up for it. Right? This is the kind of news that is going to have a million Americans going, wait, I subscribed to Peacock? So this works.
So this allows you to cancel the same way you signed up. So do I have to be drunk? I think that's between you and your God.
I don i don't think because like under the rule like if you sign up with one click you have to be able to cancel with one click so you know you just look for like a little button on the screen there's like a little puppy that says but if you cancel i'll stop i'm gonna now do you have to subscribe to click to cancel in order to click to cancel. That's going to be the next thing.

Are you subscribed to click to cancel?

No, well, then you can't click to cancel.

I don't know if we've hit that rabbit hole yet.

Can they just have a button to tell Duolingo just to calm the hell down?

I'll learn French on my own time.

Stop yelling at me.

All right, Katie, here's your last quote. For fonder farewells, please use the parking lot.
That is a new sign at an airport in New Zealand, the first in the world to institute a rule limiting what to three minutes or less? Like a goodbye hug? Yes! Signing the delays caused by long goodbyes, an airport in New Zealand is now limiting hugs in the drop-off zone to three minutes or less. So get ready to look over from that long hug and see a TSA agent standing there with a stopwatch and a taser.
They're going to regret the specificity of that language, of that word hug, when people are like, well, technically we're having sex. I'm not.
My arms aren't anywhere near her. Which still you can get done in three minutes if you've got to fight.
My thing is, and I don't know what airports, I guess it's different in New Zealand, any airport I've been to, you can't have your car parked in front for three minutes. You stop and that cop's like, wait a minute, keep moving, keep moving.
I mean, I would love to meet the bitter, lonely, can't get a ride to the airport ass person who came up with this. This is from an airport in New Zealand, which I feel like this is so off brand for New Zealand that I'm convinced this is one airport official in New Zealand who just has a really clingy mother.
He's just like, honey. And he's like, mom, I know, but the rules.
And also, I can't feel my left shoulder anymore. I'm sorry.
I have to go. It could be the fact that every flight from New Zealand is so long that you've got to say goodbye.
Like, you know, I may never see you again. You're about to board this 19-hour flight for civilization.

All like Flying Spirit Airlines.

It's like this hug going to be long.

Because I might not make it out of the bad neighborhood.

That is this blank.

A three-minute long hug is a really long hug.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

What is wrong with y'all?

Three minutes is not a long time. You can microwave two frozen burritos in three minutes.
Do you know how much you can get done in three minutes? That is an epic hug, three minutes. All right.
Bill, how did Katie do on our quiz? She's a champion. She got them all right.
Yay! Yay! Go Katie. Good going, Katie.
Don don't worry katie i do your voicemail girl all right thank you so much

thank you

the clock is ticking

i think we're out of time

right now panel time for you to answer some questions from this week's news

Thank you. I think we're out of time.
Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions from this week's news.

All right.

Now, Alonzo, if you work in New York City, a new bill says that you can use a sick day,

not just when you're sick, but also when your what is sick?

Your dog, your pet.

Yes!

Absolutely.

When your dog is sick.

Thank you. office who gave everybody heartworms.
Well, this is an interesting law in New York because they're New Yorkers. If a New Yorker calls in sick and you say, what's wrong with you? You get, none of your business.
I'm sick. And they go on about their day.
Do you have to prove, like, do you have to get on a Zoom call with your boss and hold up, you know, buddy and buddy's just like... And what if it's one of those breeds that always looks sick yeah like a frenchie or something that's just like and you're like see he can't even breathe come on also i don't know about all these anti-dog people but if my dog is sick i ain't showing up yeah Yeah, all right, all right.

We're clapping that because that's the most American nonsense I've ever heard.

Sick days for dogs and Amazon

employees don't get any.

If I was

an Amazon employee, I would start dressing up

like a Shih Tzu just so I could get

a couple of days off.

Coming up, our panelists send their greetings

Thank you. up like a shih tzu just so I could get a couple of days off.
Coming up, our panelists send their greetings in our Love the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We are playing this week with Adam Burke, Alonzo Bowden, and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Dulce Salone.
Thank you. Right now it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
What's the listener game? Call 1-888-WATE-WATE to play our game on air or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page at Wait, Wait, NPR. Hi, y'all.
Wait, wait. Don't tell me.
Hi, this is Kristen from Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh? I've been to Pittsburgh.
What you doing, Pittsburgh? I'm a high school teacher, and in my spare time, I volunteer at a cat rescue called Pittsburgh Cats. Yeah! Yeah! Great.
Thank you for helping the kitty cats. It's so nice to have you, Kristen.
Now, you're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What's the topic, Bill? Greeting cards in the news.
Greeting cards, the perfect way to tell someone you do care about them, but not enough to send an actual gift. Our panelists are going to tell you about an incident involving a greeting card that made the news this week.
Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play, Kristen? I am ready.
Hey, first up, it's Helen Hong. Getting laid off is never fun, but getting laid off and not even getting a goodbye card from your co-workers, well, that's just criminal.

That's what a woman claimed in court when she sued British Airlines for not giving her a farewell card when she left the company. The cardless woman, who happened to be named Karen Was so offended that she took legal action

Cardless woman, who happened to be named Karen, was so offended that she took legal action.

Cardless Karen and the obviously not great lawyer who took on her case

had a rude awakening in court

when a former colleague testified that they did buy a card,

but they didn't give it to her because only three people signed it. Awkward.
Undaunted, cardless Karen is now preparing lawsuits against a busload of strangers who didn't all say bless you after she sneezed. A greeting card lawsuit from Helen Hong.
Your next noteworthy note card comes from adam burke nothing says you care for someone like a homemade greeting card and nothing says you really care for them like getting a professional to make it for you but not everyone can afford their own writers and artists which is where bespoke greeting card startup heart murmurs comes in The Iowa-based company seeks to automate the process by using AI to write and design cards tailored to your loved ones. Explains founder Hans Bowman, for our initial testing, we wanted to see what we get with zero human intervention.
It was here the limitations started to show, with participant Lisa Crowther having to apologize to her 72-year-old mother after the latter received a godly decorated card that read, Roses are red, and neither are you. F.
Patrick Mahomes, you're 72. As Bowman explains, the AI scrubs your social media to sound more like you, so if you say a lot of profane things about the Chiefs, that might come up.
Even more bizarre were some of the attempts at festive missives,

with one Ellis Hoskins getting her card reading,

Happy Holidays, Ellis. Santa is coming for you.
There is no escape. Ho, ho, ho.

Clearly we've got some work to do, says Bowman.

All right. AI going a little too far from Adam Burke.
And your last story of some paper in the paper comes from Alonzo Bowden. When MotorWeek magazine writer Peter Seat finally met with the famous airbags car club in Detroit, it wasn't just their collection of old cards that stood out.
It was their collection of greeting cards. What's with all the cards? Well, founding Airbags member Gonzo Raymond isn't just the owner of a 1963 Impala convertible.
He's also the owner of some very passionate opinions about e-cards. Turns out he hates them.
So everyone started sending him cards, not just birthday and Christmas cards, cards for everything. Did you know April 14th is National Ex-Spouse Day? January 21st is Squirrel Appreciation Day? National Left-Handers Day is August 13th.
They even got him a card for nothing on January 16th, because that's National Nothing Day. Okay, Kristen.
You've got Helen's story about a woman suing for not getting a farewell card, only to realize she had one it was just too pathetic to give to her. Adam's story about an AI company writing cards that are a little too personal.

And from Alonzo Bowden, e-cars turn an old card collector into a greeting card collector.

Which story is the real story?

Okay, this is pretty tough, but I think I'm going to go with Adam's story because as a teacher, I encounter a lot of bad AI sometimes from students who are rushed to get an assignment in. Oh, okay.
Well, to find out the correct answer, we spoke to someone covering the real story. They discovered that the company had a card for Karen, but only two or three people were actually willing to sign it.

That was Allison Levens from the Hammer and Nigel show talking about the real story of the card no one wanted to sign. I'm sorry, Kristen, but Helen had the real answer.

That's so good.

I'm sorry you didn't win, but you did earn a point for Adam! Thanks for playing with us. Goodbye.
Thank you. Thank you.
Bye. And now it's time for a game we call Not My Job.
Basketball and soccer legend Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe are a true sports power couple with seven Olympic medals, countless championships, and a presidential medal of freedom between them. Oh, where y'all keep all these medals at? They're also the hosts of A Touch

More, a show about women's sports that's given their track record. We'll probably be the first podcast to win a Nobel Prize.
Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. okay so since y'all got all these accolades, do you prefer legends or ghosts? Like, how do you like to be referred to? Legend.
Legend. Okay.
That's classy. So, I do have a question about y'all's podcast.
It's called A Touch More, correct? Now, I want to know, how did you shift the podcast from, like, a tipsy Instagram live to, like, a full podcast? Well, we took out the tipsy part. That helps.
Got a couple of Google Docs going, and that's basically it. That's basically it.
We're pretty much doing the same thing. We have no idea what we're doing.
Sam's the tipsy. It's really what it is.
I know. We're like, who gave us these jobs? We did.
So, Miss Sue, who's a dream guest for the podcast? A dream guest? I mean, we wouldn't mind having Kamala Harris on, so that would be nice. This is Megan.
Praying for President Harris yeah have you called Beyonce because she knows her she's got an in yeah I'll have to I'll text her when we're done hey Beyonce we need Ms. Harris's number thank you okay now I do have some questions y'all are like just like like this super sports power couple, just the strongest calves of any relationship.
I do have a question, since y'all are just these iconic legends of sports. Do you remember watching each other play before y'all met each other? Were y'all fans of each other before y'all met? Megan.
Megan says yes. Megan watched me in college.
How do we feel about this? I do wonder, are y'all very competitive because you are sports led? So it makes sense. You know, medals and stuff.
A family game night. Is it better if y'all are on the same team or opposing teams? Megan won't play games, y'all.
Like, Megan won't play games. It's so frustrating.
Really? She won't play cards. She won't play anything.
I'll play some cards, but I don't like to be competitive in life. Even on the field, I was like, wow, so much.
Girl, what? You have medals. They gave you a big-ass shoe.
I always figured the person who won four World Cups wasn't that competitive. I mean, we were going to win.
I like that. So there's seven Olympic medals.
There's championships. There's a giant shoe, a medal of freedom.
Where do y'all put all these awards? Does your living room just look like a high school lobby? Like, is that where y'all? We actually have none of it in the house. None of it.
What? It's all, like like in storage or in a safe or basically so one year we decided let's be smart about this and buy a safe so we bought like one of those you know small ones whatever you put in like a closet and then we put it in there but we never got to the part where you have to like drill it into the wall so somebody could just really come and take the safe is really one of the things. This sounds like the most insane episode of Storage Wars in about 10 years.
I'm just thinking of all the people you two have beaten for championships and medals and honors. And they're like, they don't even care.
I trained my whole life. They don't even care.
The medals locked away somewhere. I cried when I lost.
And they're just unsecured safe just floating around somewhere. I could have just waited and got a jackhammer.
Basically. Yeah.
I had as well be in a shoe box geez it was at one point it was yeah we up this is the upgrade wow are you against just being ostentatious do you feel like it's too flashy it's too gaudy like why don't you have these a little bit yeah really you are and like you're not gonna They're heavy. If I want a giant shoe, I would be wearing that thing around my neck every single day.
I would like your podcast to start with the sound of you just taking all your medals off. Clunk, clunk, clunk, clunk.
It's the first 20 minutes of everything. It's actually her.
Well, all right, Sue and Megan, we've asked you here today to play a game we're calling Partners in Literal Crime. So you two are a famous power couple.
So we decided to ask you about an infamous power couple,

Bonnie and Clyde,

who also have seven Olympic medals for breakwives.

I want to know where they keep theirs.

In their coffins.

Because they dead.

Now, answer two of your questions right,

and you'll win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone from our show on their voicemail. Bill, who are Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe playing for? Wren Hoptman of Seattle, Washington.
Hey! Hey! All right, friends, here's your first question. Bonnie and Clyde committed crimes across the U.S.
in a stolen car before being gunned down by Texas Rangers. A surprising thing happened after their death.
What? A, the local baseball team decided to change their name from the Texas bank robbers to the Texas Rangers. B, their life insurance policy was fully paid out because insurance companies did not yet have an exception for dying while committing a crime spree.
Or C, the next year, the site of the shootout became the top location for weddings in all of Texas. Yeah, I enjoy the whispering.
Megan thinks it's C Wow And Miss Zuber Do you agree With your partner? Yeah, final answer. Do you agree? We're going to vote B.
B and F. Join together.
The answer is B, their life insurance policy for fully paid. You did it, Joe.
Here's your next question. Bonnie and Clyde are two of the most famous criminals of all time,

but Frank Hamer, the Texas Ranger who finally caught them,

has his own claim to fame.

What?

He's A, one of the earliest people on record to use the phrase,

bust a cap.

B, he's the Frank that Frankfurters are named after.

Or C, he hit number one on the charts with a song called

Thank you. cap.
B, he's the Frank that Frankfurters are named after. Or C, he hit number one on the charts with a song called I Shot Bonnie and Clyde.
Okay, A. A.
It's B. You know what? Actually, yeah, it's A.
Yes. After the shootout,

Hamer... It's A.
You know what? Actually, yeah, it's A. After the shootout, Cameron said, quote, I hate to bust a cap on a woman.
However, if it wouldn't have been her, it would have been us. And gangster rap was changed forever.
What a thing to learn. All right.
Here is your last question. Bonnie and Clyde have a preferred getaway vehicle, the Ford V8 Model B.
Apparently, Clyde loved the car so much that he once did what? A, got a tattoo of one on his arm next to the word Zoom. B, called the editor of the Dallas Morning News,

insisting the paper referred to them as Bonnie and Clyde and their Ford V8 Model B.

Or C, wrote Henry Ford a letter praising the car, quote,

sustained speed and freedom from trouble.

Soothing stay. I can read the answer.
I think it's C. The answer's C.
But sadly for Ford, everyone knows that today the best getaway car is the Nissan Ultima. Bill, how did Sue and Megan do on our quiz? Proving they are always winners.
They got the clothes. Come on, medals.
We would send you a trophy, but what would be the point?

Going to a storage unit in Silver Lake anyway. Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe are legends in their respect for sports.
New episodes of their podcast, A Touch More, drop every Wednesday, wherever you get your podcasts. So Sue Bird and Megan Rapinoe! Thank you so much for joining us on

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

In just a minute,

we reveal the underground wedding scene

in our listener limerick challenge.

Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT

to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We are playing this week with Helen Hong, Adam Burke, and Alonzo Bowden. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois.
Filling in for Peter Sagal, it's Dulce Sloan. And thank you! In just a minute, Bill has dinner with Buster Rhymes and our Listener Limerick Challenge.
If you'd like to play, call us at 1-888- wait-wait. That's 1-888-

924-8924.

But right now, panel, some more questions

from the week's news.

Adam? Yep. Now you're familiar

with Tech Neck, right? Nope.

Okay.

You're not up on the latest terms.

So Tech Neck,

the Quasimodo look you get after staring

at your phone all the time okay

well this week we read about a new way to get rid of it what is it uh throw your phone into the river okay what about a way to cover it up oh um cover up tech uh is it like where like wear one of those travel pillows all the time?

You might say not all heroes. Oh, they're special like tech neck capes? Yes, they are telling people to wear a cape.
Cover up your tech neck. If you weren't getting beat up enough.

Because we're all, you know, crumbled over our phones 100 hours a day,

giving our neck that fresh off of our, you know, rollercoaster accident look.

And it's called tech neck. Or as your mother used to call it, stand up straight.

But now you can look like Supergirl doing it.

Or like, yeah, the crappiest superhero. It's Instagram Stalker Man.
I don't understand how the cape covers up the hunchback. Doesn't it make you just look like you have a hunchback with a cape on it? No, that's what the pleats are for, Helen.
The pleats. Yeah.
Well, we also have the increasing intensity of these storms. Now, God forbid you're wearing your cape.
When a category four blows in, you are gone. What happened to him? Oh, that cape was tied a little too tight.
Last seen floating over Indiana. I don't know.
So, yeah, when your cape gets caught in a revolving door and you get strangled to death, they'll be like, well, at least he doesn't have tech neck. He has no neck neck.
But he's fine now. Helen, yes? Companies are trying a new way to capture buyers' attention in the store.
It's packaging their products. How? Packaging their products.
I think I need a hint. You thought you were getting M&M's, but surprise, it's paperclip.
Packaging their products in just the completely wrong packaging? That is right! What? In a trend called chaos packaging. Companies are putting perfume in cleaner spray bottles, gin motor oil containers and for when you accidentally drink motor oil thinking it's gin just look for your first aid kit in a nearby soup can what like companies are doing this for the same consumers that are eating tide pods in the correct packaging isn't this called fraud i would, but also, and this is true, there's an ice cream tub of tampons.
Oh, man. It's either brilliant marketing or Ben and Jerry's worst flavor ever.
This is definitely somebody at the factory quiet quitting.

Like quiet quitting really hard and then just being like, you know, just put more oil on it. Now, does this work both ways?

Can I take a can of peas to Nordstrom and say, I'm returning these designer shoes.

I'd like my money back.

Ooh, that's good.

Or I can take my ex and return it to his mom and be like, hey, you lied to me. On the outside, he was a good man, but on the inside, he's trash.
I brought a receipt. Here, ma'am, take them back.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.
If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
You can catch us most weeks, including next week for a fun Halloween show, right here at the beautiful Studebaker Theater in Chicago. We'll be back at the Fox Theater in Detroit on the 14th of November.
You can also join us in New York City at Carnegie Hall in December. For tickets and info, go to mprpresents.org.
Also, check out this week's How to Do Everything. Ian and Mike help you optimize your Halloween candy and talk to the Fonz himself about how to be a coo.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

How is everybody? My name is John Blankenship. And where you from? My family and I live in Franklin, Tennessee, just a few minutes south of Nashville.
I have been through Franklin, Tennessee. It is very nice.
And what do you do for a living? I work at a small

marketing, digital marketing agency

with one of my best friends started a couple of years ago. I don't know what that job does.
Welcome to the show, Charles. I don't know what the job does half the time either.
It's okay. We're in the same boat.
All right. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each.
If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you're a winner, baby! Now, here is your first limerick. On a rail car, don't dress like a schlub, hey.
And don't stand in the cheap catered grubs way. Champagne corks will pop as they're calling out stops because our wedding is held on the...
Subway? That's right. Good one.
In nasty news, there's a growing trend where people are holding weddings and receptions on the subway. It's perfect if you're only guests or break dancers, a mariachi band, and a tall person coughing directly onto a short person's head.
Is this in New York City? Yes, and according to New York Times, the N train is the most sought after wedding venue this year, and the wedding DJ is some guy watching YouTube without headphones.

I wouldn't mind going on a morning commute and suddenly being like, yeah, I'll have some cake.

Sure. Yeah.
Pass me some champagne. When the train stops, just random jump on the train and like,

hey, look, we're at a wedding. Yeah, you can't hold up.
It's Babylon every time you get on a

train car anyway. All right.
Here is your next limerick. My love for green foods began rockily.
But I know that they're good for me. Lockily.
And that sulfurous smell helps my body feel well. Now I'll really start eating more.
Broccoli. Bro! Broccoli! Jonathan! The New York Times clearly had some extra time this week.
Because after a thorough investigation, they're reporting that broccoli is healthy! What? I mean, of course it is. Look at it.
It's a tiny tree. So did they have like a guest editor this week that was just every mother from the 1970s? Or some type of farm to table con job where somebody's like, I got this broccoli, I got to push, call my brother at the New York Times.
Yeah, big cauliflower couldn't afford it. Because it was too busy being pizza.
All right, Jonathan, here's your last limerick. This resort meal is scenic and cool, but I got my eggs wet like a fool.
There's chlorine in my drink. Dropped my fork.
Now it sinks. Still, I love breakfast served in the pool.

Hey! The fun new way for rich people to be ridiculous is to eat breakfast in the pool. The Washington Post reports that this is popular with influencers and other people trying to convince you to eat wet toast.
Also, were the Washington Post and the New York Times having a competition for the dumbest article? Definitely a slow week on the news desk. Phil, how did John do? John is a perfect player.
Thank you, John. Thank you, John, for listening.
Thank you so much. It was great to be on with you all.
Thank you. Thank you, man.
Have a good one, John. Take care.
Thank you. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points.
Bill, can you give us the scores? Adam and Helen each have three. Alonzo has two.
All right, Alonzo. You're in third place.
So you're up first. Fill in the blank.

During her CNN town hall on Wednesday,

Kamala Harris said she believes that Donald Trump is a wood.

Wow.

We're just going to leave that open later.

I think it was fascist.

Yes.

This week, states reported that over 28 million people had blanked early.

Voted.

Yes.

This week, the U.S. announced that ceasefire talks with blank would resume.

Israel.

Yes.

On Tuesday, the International Monetary Fund said that global blank rates have continued to fall.

Interest.

Inflation rates.

Oops.

Is that the same thing?

Last week, the BBC apologized after their weather app forecasted blank in London. Pennies from heaven? 13,000 mile per hour wind.
That was my next guess. Absolutely.
On Thursday, the New York Liberty was honored with a ticker tape parade after winning the blank championship. WNBA.
Hey! This week it was revealed that the big secret behind a German restaurant's best-selling pizza was that it came with the side of... Pizza from Italy? I know this one.
Do you know this one? I know this one. Cocaine! So police said that anyone who ordered the number 30, you know, they thought it was weird.
It would come with like breadsticks to drink and like a bag of cocaine. And weirdly enough, the same thing happened at that Chuck E.
Cheese where the animatronic band was really into EDM. Phil had it, Alonzo, dude.
Four right. Eight more points.
Total of 10 puts him in the lead. Okay, Adam, you're up next.
Phil in the blank. After an E.
coli outbreak linked to the restaurant, blank said its food is safe to eat. McDonald's.
Right. On Thursday, the DA in Los Angeles announced plans to re-sentence the blank brothers.
The Menendez. Right.
This week, the White House confirmed that North Korea was sending soldiers to aid blanks war against Ukraine. Russia.
Right. On Tuesday, it was ruled that Rudy Giuliani must turn over his Manhattan apartment to the blank workers he defamed.
Election workers. Right.
Weeks after it was discovered that many zoo pandas were just dogs in disguise, a shark at an aquarium in China was found to be a blank. A panda in disguise.
A robot. On Tuesday, LeBron James made history by playing in an NBA game with his blank.
Son. Right.
On Wednesday, a Polish radio station announced it had replaced all its journalists with blank. AI.
Right. This week, it was revealed that a team of hackers successfully overrode robot vacuums around the country and forced them to blank.
Rise up against their human oppressors. Force them to chase their human oppressors' pets around the house.
The company that makes the vacuum said not only were the hackers able to remotely control the vacuums to chase pets around, but they were also able to talk through the built-in speakers, which raises the question, why does a vacuum need speakers? No one's ever been like, man, I love my vacuum, I just wish it was louder. If my Roomba's chasing my cat, can I call in sick in New York? Yes.
Bill, how did Adam do? He got six rights, 12 more points, and the total is 15 in the lead. Woo! Okay.
So, Bill, how many does Helen need to win? Six to tie, seven to win. Helen, you ready for the game? I'm ready.
Okay, sis. On Wednesday, striking airplane mechanics again rejected a contract offer from blank.
Boeing. Ha! Right.
On Monday, aid workers warned of dire conditions for refugees trapped in blank. Gaza.
Right. On Friday, President Biden formally apologized for the government's role in boarding schools that stripped blank of their culture and language.
Native Americans. Right.
For the first time, Vice President Kamala Harris said she supported raising the blank to $15 an hour. Federal minimum wage.
Right. This week, footage revealed a sheriff in Georgia had called in three deputies for backup when he blanked.
Um, clogged the toilet. When he got the wrong order at Burger King.
This week, investigators confirmed that a newly opened fire station in Germany burned down because the fire department forgot blank. Pay the water bill.
They forgot fire alarms. Because they were eating pizza with cocaine on them.
Now, the firefighters could have saved it. The problem is they're taught to go down the pole.
No one's ever taught him how to go back up. Bill, did Helen do well enough to win? All right, eight more points.
Total of 11 means Adam Burke is the winner this week. Congratulations, Adam.
You are this week's chomping. Now, coming up, our panelists predict after the three-minute long hug, what will be the next surprising rule at the airport? But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Hair Care Productions' Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.
Philip Gotica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shana Donald thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theater. BJ Lederman composed our theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Vinian Bazuna and Monica Hickey.
This week, Peter Gwynn goes by Dulce Gwynn. Emma Choi is our vibe curator.
Technical director is by Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog.
And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, what will be the next rule at the airport? Alonzo Bowden.
The don't-you-know-who-I-am people are not allowed to board the airplane because they don't know who they are.

Helen Hall. If you get randomly selected for a pat-down inspection, the TSA officer first has to have a staring contest with you for three minutes.
And Adam Burke. If your plane is a

Boeing, your boarding pass will have a handy last will and testament printed on the back.

Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Bill Curtis.

Thanks also to Adam Burke, Helen Hong, and Alonzo Bowden.

And thanks to all of you for listening.

I'm Dulce Sloan, and we'll see you next week.

This is NPR.