WWDTM: Nate Berkus

Speaker 1 This message comes from NPR sponsor Patagonia. As environmental progress stalls, Patagonia believes it's on businesses to step up.

Speaker 1 The company knows it isn't perfect, but it's proving businesses can make a profit without bankrupting the planet. Explore more at patagonia.com slash impact.

Speaker 3 From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR news quiz.

Speaker 3 This must be the land of lakes, because my voice is like butter.

Speaker 3 I'm Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Peter Sagal.

Speaker 3 Thank you, Bill.

Speaker 3 Thank you, everybody.

Speaker 1 Thank you, everybody. It is great to be back in Minnesota, right?

Speaker 1 A heretofore little-known state that thanks to Governor Tim Walsh could

Speaker 7 end up

Speaker 1 being home someday to the official vice presidential winter retreat.

Speaker 1 That is an ice fishing hut on Rainy Lake.

Speaker 1 Later on, we're going to be talking Minnesota style with celebrity interior designer Nate Burkus, who grew up here. But first, it's your turn to help color coordinate the news by playing our games.

Speaker 1 The number is 188-WATEWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on.
Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Speaker 8 Hi, Peter. This is Jodi Davis, calling from Gaines, Michigan.

Speaker 1 Hey, Jodi, what do you do there in Gaines, Michigan? I'm a veterinarian. You're a veterinarian?

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 1 Oh, cool. Right.
So are you like a standard dog and cat veterinarian or do you do the exotics?

Speaker 8 So I did standard vet stuff for 10 years, but now I have worked for 12 years for a pet food company.

Speaker 1 A pet food company?

Speaker 10 Whoa. Yes.
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 One of the good ones, I hope.

Speaker 10 Of course. You're not turning the pets into food, right?

Speaker 7 No, that's a good man.

Speaker 1 Jody, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, it's the comedian you can find most days saving big money at his local Menards.

Speaker 6 It's Bobcat Goldwaite.

Speaker 6 Hello, Bobcat.

Speaker 1 Next, it's the comedian you can catch on YouTube on the new show, Wait a Minute, it's Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

Speaker 12 Hey, Jody!

Speaker 1 And you can say on the Wake Waits stand-up tour, it's September 5th through the 8th and at the High Plains Comedy Festival in Denver from the 19th through the 21st. It's Josh Gondelman.

Speaker 14 Hello.

Speaker 1 Jody, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time.
Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations about this week's news.

Speaker 1 If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize, the voice from anyone from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Absolutely.

Speaker 1 Our first quote is a commenter on a New York Times story this week.

Speaker 3 People without kids are saying, suck it up, losers.

Speaker 1 That person was responding to a new warning from the Surgeon General that what is dangerous to to our health?

Speaker 8 Children?

Speaker 1 Children, yes, children are dangerous to our health.

Speaker 1 In this new op-ed in the Times, our Surgeon General says we have a new national health crisis caused by the stress of parenting.

Speaker 1 It's an announcement that shocked everyone except people who have children.

Speaker 1 are children, or who have ever met a child.

Speaker 1 So the Surgeon General, whose heart is absolutely in the right place, is calling for steps to both help struggling parents and to make other people more aware of the stresses involved.

Speaker 1 So, from now on, when a doctor slaps a newborn on the butt, he will be attaching a warning label.

Speaker 16 Yeah, what are we, what surgery do you get if you have kids?

Speaker 1 Well, I'd suggest a vasectomy, but you're too late.

Speaker 15 Damn it.

Speaker 10 Usually, like

Speaker 11 catch

Speaker 9 across a highway.

Speaker 18 Yeah. I got a hysterectomy last year, and I...
Yes, yes. And I usually ask men in the audience what a hysterectomy is.
I'm like, three out of four of y'all do not know.

Speaker 18 So I feel like men shouldn't be able to vote.

Speaker 9 I know what one is because immediately after I was born, my mother had one.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 10 Swear to God, she knew. She's like, this evil spawn has to be stopped.

Speaker 16 This is a little bit of a double standard, right? Because the surgeon general thinks that kids are hard to be around, and

Speaker 16 it gets to right in the times. But when I tell my friends their kids are hard to be around, they get mad at me, like, what's going on?

Speaker 10 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 18 Now we have a doctor who's

Speaker 1 your next quote is someone's drink order that was posted on Reddit.

Speaker 3 Triple iced espresso with two pumps, white white and mooka, in a grande cup with extra ice.

Speaker 1 Now, according to financial experts, it's complicated orders like that that may be the reason that what big chain is in trouble? Starbucks. Starbucks, exactly right, yes.

Speaker 1 Turns out that the reason that there is always a very long line and very stressed out baristas at your local Starbucks may be because how much they have expanded their menu over the years between all all the choices of flavors and sizes and varieties of beverages, according to Bloomberg, this is true.

Speaker 1 There are nearly 400 billion possible drink combinations.

Speaker 1 Just, you know, according to math. That's why, instead...

Speaker 16 Nature is so beautiful.

Speaker 10 Isn't it, though?

Speaker 1 That's why, instead, when you get your cappuccino, instead of a little leaf drawn on the foam, it's just the message, help me.

Speaker 1 So here's the thing, according to a financial analysis of the company, the problem is that investors are constantly demanding more growth, and that means they have to offer more products, and that overwhelms the staff, and this is true.

Speaker 1 It has actually created a new demand for coffee shops that just serve coffee.

Speaker 7 That's all people want. Just

Speaker 1 a cup of coffee. And why stop there? Why not a line of cafes that serve nothing?

Speaker 1 No lines, no annoying tip screen. They just mispronounce your name and you go home.

Speaker 1 Jody, here is your last quote.

Speaker 3 It's a shame that we humans are in the middle of this.

Speaker 1 So that was a scientific researcher talking about how they and their colleagues have finally figured out why killer whales have been attacking what in the Atlantic Ocean?

Speaker 8 Chips.

Speaker 1 Ships, yes, they've been attacking ships, yachts, and boats. Very good.

Speaker 1 Scientists have been working on this problem of orcas attacking yachts off the coast of Spain. The good news is they are no closer to stopping it than they were before.

Speaker 16 I was going to say, working on this problem, it sounds like they're observing a solution.

Speaker 21 I know, exactly.

Speaker 6 Can we encourage them?

Speaker 1 Is that the question they're trying to solve? No, but they do have an explanation. The orcas, and I am deadly serious, are using the boats to practice hunting.

Speaker 1 This comes from a group called the Bottlenose Dolphin Research Institute. So first of all, guys, stay in your lane.

Speaker 1 But they say that two orcas boats look like bluefin tuna moving through the water, and they love to eat bluefin tuna. So, they've been practicing hunting the tuna by attacking the boats, right?

Speaker 1 That's what's going on. Think of the lives and property we could save if we just developed orca DoorDash.

Speaker 16 I would call it subhub

Speaker 16 an undersea delivery service

Speaker 9 I don't

Speaker 9 this doesn't hold water the idea that like orcas are like going hey that yacht looks like a tuna pretty much if I saw a tuna the size of a yacht I'd just crap right there and

Speaker 1 well it's it's

Speaker 1 no it but to them it's it's close enough and they can practice their technique but that is amazing this is the revelation wild animals practice

Speaker 1 who knew do they have coaches like the orcas like oka coach like all right team good work uh don't mind the people on the yacht screaming in terror all the other humans are rooting for us

Speaker 18 so the orcas are attacking rich people on yachts yes

Speaker 18 I didn't know orcas were people of color

Speaker 7 they are half black they're half black

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Jodi do in our quiz?

Speaker 13 Jodi was perfect.

Speaker 4 She got them all right.

Speaker 1 Congratulations, Jodi, and thanks for calling. Thank you, Peter.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting here waiting

Speaker 1 till the day that we're facing.

Speaker 1 For we're the same,

Speaker 1 cause you're the one finishing the sea.

Speaker 1 Right now, panel, it's time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.

Speaker 1 Joyelle, ten different rescue teams had to scour a Colorado mountain range for two whole days searching for a lost hiker who was left behind by his group. What was that group doing up on the mountain?

Speaker 6 In Colorado.

Speaker 18 In Colorado. On top of the mountains.

Speaker 6 A lot of mountains. And they left somebody.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll give you a hint. They should have just stuck with Trust Falls in the break room.

Speaker 18 They were bungee jumping off the mountain?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Where do you do things like Trust Falls?

Speaker 14 Not on a mountain?

Speaker 18 Trust falls happen in a break room with people who have jobs.

Speaker 1 Right, and what does sometimes people who work together go do?

Speaker 18 I don't know, I don't have a job.

Speaker 1 I should have remembered that

Speaker 1 before I asked you. Does anybody else know?

Speaker 11 I'm going to say a work retreat.

Speaker 1 Yes, it was an office team building exercise.

Speaker 20 Wow.

Speaker 18 I would have never got there

Speaker 1 15 people from an office set out to climb a mountain together to help build cooperation, mutual reliance, and bonding, except apparently for that loser, Brian.

Speaker 1 Anyway, park service rescue teams got word of an overdue hiker when the other 14 employees came back down without him. And this is true, the lost guy had texted his colleagues.

Speaker 1 He had still had cell phone service at that point. He said, hey, I don't know where you guys are.
And they said, dude, yeah, we saw. You went down the wrong way.

Speaker 1 You You have to climb back up again and then go down the right way. And then they kept going down without him.

Speaker 16 Overdue hiker is a pretty gentle term for might be dead on a mountain.

Speaker 10 Exactly.

Speaker 1 And then a storm came in, and it was really hard to find him. Like I said, ten different search teams went out and find him, helicopters, aircraft.

Speaker 1 They found him about a day later, hungry and bruised from his falls, but alive.

Speaker 1 And the county search and rescue officials said the incident might lead to, quote, awkward encounters at the office in the coming days and weeks.

Speaker 18 I bet that dude microwaves fish in the field. Probably.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 16 I'll tell you what, though, you know who's real tight-knit is those 10 search teams.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah, they're great.

Speaker 16 This was secretly a team-building thing for them.

Speaker 23 They flipped it.

Speaker 1 Coming up, find out who was right all along. It's our Bluff the Listener game called 1888, WaitWait to Play.
We'll be back in a minute with more of WaitWait, Don't Tell Me, from NPR.

Speaker 1 This message comes from NPR sponsor Patagonia. As environmental progress stalls, Patagonia believes it's on businesses to step up.

Speaker 1 The company knows it isn't perfect, but it's proving businesses can make a profit without bankrupting the planet.

Speaker 1 Out now is Patagonia's 2025 Work in Progress report, a behind-the-scenes look into its impact initiatives from quitting forever chemicals and decarbonizing its supply chain to embracing fair trade.

Speaker 1 Explore more at patagonia.com/slash impact.

Speaker 8 This message comes from NPR sponsor CNN. Stream Anthony Bourdain Parts Unknown Prime Cuts Now exclusively on the CNN app.

Speaker 8 These rarely seen, never-before-streamed episodes dig deep into the Parts Unknown archives with personal insights from Anthony Bourdain and rare behind-the-scenes interviews about each season.

Speaker 8 Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown, Prime Cuts, now streaming exclusively on the CNN app. Subscribe now at cnn.com/slash all access, available in the U.S.
only.

Speaker 2 This message comes from Wise, the app for using money around the globe. When you manage your money with Wise, you'll always get the mid-market exchange rate with no hidden fees.

Speaker 2 Join millions of customers and visit wise.com. T's and C's apply.

Speaker 3 From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We are playing this week with Joyelle, Nicole Johnson, Josh Gondelman, and Bobcat Goldsway.

Speaker 3 And here again is your host at the Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Peter Feet. Thank you, Bill.
Thank you, everybody.

Speaker 1 Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluff the listener game call 188-WaitWait to play the game on air, or you can check out the pinned post at our Instagram page.

Speaker 1 That's at WaitWaitNPR. You'll find all the info you need there, plus attractive photographs.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Speaker 24 Hi, this is Rhiannon from Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 Rhiannon? Well, hello. What a pleasure to meet you.
Are you the person the song is about?

Speaker 24 I am not. It's a lovely song, but my name's Rhiannon because it's a Welsh name.

Speaker 6 Oh, Oh, I see.

Speaker 24 Many generations of Joneses have lived there.

Speaker 1 Can I suggest I don't know you, but just as a helpful tip, the next time somebody asks that question, just say yes.

Speaker 1 Rhiannon, welcome to the show. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction.
Bill, what is Rhiannon's topic?

Speaker 3 I told you so.

Speaker 1 Everybody loves being proven correct, whether it's you're going to regret those white jeans or sir, literally anyone would be better than J.D. Vance

Speaker 14 This week.

Speaker 1 This week we heard about somebody who was right all along, as it turned out. Our panelists are going to tell you about it.
Pick the one who's telling the truth.

Speaker 1 You'll win the waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?

Speaker 6 Yep.

Speaker 1 Yeah, okay. First, let's hear from Bobcat Gulthwaite.

Speaker 9 If you went to a carnival in the Midwest 10 years ago, perhaps you had your fortune read by psychic wonder pig Sir Francis Bacon.

Speaker 9 Country fair guests would pay the pig's owner, Mark Sparky Jaquin, to have Francis tell them their future through a series of yes or no snorts. Francis' knack for predicting the future was impressive.

Speaker 9 It was lucrative enough that Sparky had enough money to invest in the stock market. Things fell apart for the two, though, when in 2014, Francis warned Sparky not to invest in Blockbuster video stock.

Speaker 9 He ignored Francis' squeals and when Blockbuster filed for bankruptcy within the year, Sparky lost his life savings.

Speaker 9 Normally, once a wonder pig got too big for the road, it would be retired to a processing farm, and that would have been Francis' fate, except Sparky felt so bad for not listening to the pig that they became roommates.

Speaker 9 Sparky and Sir Francis Bacon now share a Tampa Bay, Florida condominium.

Speaker 1 A

Speaker 1 psychic pig

Speaker 1 correctly predicted the end of home video, but sadly was ignored by his owner. Your next story of smug satisfaction comes from Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

Speaker 18 When a crew was dismantling some old columns in the Sainsbury wing at London's National Gallery, they found more than just a bunch of dust and whatever else columns are made of.

Speaker 18 They found a time capsule of sorts, but it didn't contain a family photograph or a treasure map for the goonies. It was a nasty note.

Speaker 18 30 years ago, when the wing was being built, the funder of the expansion, Lord Sainsbury, was displeased with the architectural aesthetic of two giant false columns that served zero structural purpose he let this displeasure be known in a letter he typed on his supermarket notepaper and buried in the column for a future demolition crew to find

Speaker 18 a man after Kanye West's heart

Speaker 18 the note was typed in all cap locks

Speaker 18 He wrote, let it be known that one of the donors of this building is absolutely delighted that your generation has decided to dispense with the unnecessary columns.

Speaker 18 Finally, one old dead man is happy with the kids these days.

Speaker 1 The late Lord Sainsbury gets the last word about those ugly columns in the museum he endowed. Your last story of someone telling you so comes from Josh Gombelin.

Speaker 16 After a professional disagreement with a colleague resolved in her favor, acclaimed neuroscientist Dr. Lydia Kellogg muttered her usual refrain, hate to say it, but I told you so.

Speaker 16 The coworker snapped back, oh, you love to say I told you so. Everyone does, but you especially.
Much like a pair of rusty forceps, Dr. Kellogg has trouble letting things go.

Speaker 16 So she set to work conducting an experiment to prove that she was right when she said that she hates to say that she was right. Much to Dr.

Speaker 16 Kellogg's delight, I Told You So ranked as only the 98th most enjoyable phrase, barely ahead of the lowest scoring, wow, your uncle really has some thoughts about the Middle East.

Speaker 16 Upon publishing the results of her study, Dr. Kellogg couldn't help ignoring her own research to greet her colleague with an exuberant, in your face, loser, and this time she did enjoy saying it.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 1 One of these stories of the satisfaction of finally being correct was in the news week this week.

Speaker 1 Was it from Bobcat, a prognosticating pig who finally was thanked for being right about the fate of Blockbuster?

Speaker 1 From Joelle Nicole Johnson, the Lord Sainsbury of the supermarket chain in Britain, being correct, as he proved by putting a note in the columns that he paid for, celebrating their demolition, or from Josh Gonleman, a doctor who proved that yes, she actually hates to say so

Speaker 1 but she was right all along.

Speaker 1 Which of these is the real story of vindication we found in the week's news?

Speaker 24 Those are all great but I think a man leaving an angry all-caps note feels the most probable so I'm gonna go with Lord Sainsbury.

Speaker 1 All right, you've chosen Joy's story of the Lord Sainsbury.

Speaker 1 Well, to bring you the truth, we talked to somebody who had some knowledge of of this particular subject it's the client's revenge and it's revealed in this kind of pulling a rabbit out of the hat or in this case pulling a letter out of the column

Speaker 20 that was

Speaker 1 that was

Speaker 1 Blair Kamen, the Pulitzer Prize-winning former architecture critic for the Chicago Tribune, talking about Lord Sainsbury's revenge. Congratulations, Brianna, you got it right.

Speaker 1 You earned a point for Joyelle,

Speaker 1 and you've won our prize. The voice of your choice on your voicemail.
Congratulations, Brianna. Thanks so much for playing.

Speaker 17 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Bye-bye.

Speaker 1 And now the game we call not my job. Nate Burkis acquired his design aesthetic growing up here in Minnesota.

Speaker 1 And since his early days as a resident expert on the Oprah Winfrey Show, he's become one of the most famous interior designers in the country with multiple home design TV shows, the latest with his husband, designer Jeremiah Brent.

Speaker 1 The only question is: if he learned it all here in Minnesota, where are the mounted deer heads, fish, and beaver for throw rugs?

Speaker 1 Nate Burkus, welcome home and welcome to Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Speaker 21 Thank you.

Speaker 10 I'm very

Speaker 1 Let's start at the beginning. You found your love of interior design while you were very young growing up here, right? I did, yeah.
Yeah, so how old are we talking?

Speaker 21 Well, my mother was an interior designer here in Minneapolis.

Speaker 21 I have a younger sister and a middle brother, and my our middle brother works in advertising in California, and he once coined our family phrase as what we did on the weekends is either shop or be left behind.

Speaker 21 So my mother would take us to auctions and antiques malls and Stillwater and Downtown Hopkins and all these places looking at old things and looking at antiques and vintage things.

Speaker 21 And my job was to carry the wallpaper books in from the trunk of her car to her home office, which is also why I have muscles.

Speaker 15 That's true, yeah.

Speaker 1 So you started out both as an interior designer and as a gym rat early on.

Speaker 21 Exactly, yeah.

Speaker 21 So if I met you at say the age of 10, would you be like all about design and antiques and No, no, but I was definitely sidetracked if there was somebody who was setting up for a garage sale on my way to the bus stop.

Speaker 16 I'm picturing a young story, like almost a forest gump-like serendipity where Prince is putting up plaid all over his estate and you're like, my man, Paisley, and then just walk away.

Speaker 23 That was me.

Speaker 19 That was actually.

Speaker 17 Yeah, that was me.

Speaker 15 I'm actually Apollonius.

Speaker 10 I've morphed.

Speaker 12 Oh, my God. That's amazing.

Speaker 1 Do you remember the first time you ever designed something? You ever set up a room?

Speaker 21 Yeah, no, I do. My parents gave me my own bedroom because I shared a room prior to that with my filthy younger brother.

Speaker 10 The worst one.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 21 No, but the first thing I ever was allowed to design was my own bedroom.

Speaker 21 And I actually wrote about this years ago because it was such an interesting thing for me as a 12-year-old kid to be able to pick out at the time, you know, again, my mom was an interior designer, so, you know, she had all the the carpet samples and wallpaper books, and she said to me, what do you want your room to look like?

Speaker 21 And I remember it was the 80s, and I said, I want gray, white, and red.

Speaker 21 And she was like, that's so ugly, though. And I was like, but

Speaker 15 it's cool.

Speaker 21 And so I remember, though, that it was agency. It's what it felt like.
I had the agency to pick my own environment.

Speaker 21 And I do think that that's why I've spent the greater part of 30 years helping other people create a home that means something to them.

Speaker 21 I think that that is connected.

Speaker 1 I think that's great. I do love the idea of you as a, you said 13 year old? 12 year old.

Speaker 13 12 year old.

Speaker 1 Would you 12, you know, the early 20s, very rebellious age, that the source of your conflict with your mother was

Speaker 6 color palettes.

Speaker 1 Did she like, you know, search your room when you weren't there and found like illicit swatch books in your

Speaker 20 sock drawer? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Come home and she's holding up a pantomime.

Speaker 12 She was amazing.

Speaker 20 Right.

Speaker 21 No gay porn, just a wallpaper sample.

Speaker 14 Which, let's just be honest.

Speaker 6 I am.

Speaker 1 If your 12-year-old kid has wallpaper sample books hidden in a sock drawer, it's essentially the same as gay porn.

Speaker 14 Peter.

Speaker 1 And either way, you get there, the conclusion has got to be the same.

Speaker 15 100%. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 9 Did you, like as a young man, was it hard to find, you know,

Speaker 9 places to design? Do you know what I mean? Like, if you wanted to be in a band, you get a guitar.

Speaker 9 Were you like going, I think I could really fix up your ice fishing hut?

Speaker 21 No, I mean, you know what, though? Bobcat, actually, now that you ask,

Speaker 21 I was notorious among my friends when they would invite me over for a play date or sleepover, whatever, that I remember my friend Ronnie Swartz, his mother came home and Ronnie and I were like hanging out and like, you know, at their house and I had pushed all the living room furniture into a different location.

Speaker 17 So, you know,

Speaker 21 it wasn't, and she said, did you move my sofa?

Speaker 4 And I said, yeah, don't you think it looks better like this?

Speaker 20 And she said, I do.

Speaker 20 Wait, I have a question.

Speaker 18 Yeah. You and your husband are both hot.
That has nothing to do with the question. I just wanted to say on that.
Okay.

Speaker 17 All right.

Speaker 21 You don't think his head's a little bit big for his body if you look close?

Speaker 6 Drag him.

Speaker 23 You're trying to redesign his face?

Speaker 18 Wait, so since you're both designers, who wins? Like, do you have a chair in your house that you hate?

Speaker 21 Okay, so here's the thing. If one person hates it, it's out.
And we don't talk about it, and you can't try and sell it to the other person. And boy, can we sell shit to each other?

Speaker 21 So you can't, like, if one, if I say I hate it, then the conversation's done and vice versa.

Speaker 21 We will fight like, like, beyond, like, really, really rip each other to shreds over who ate the last piece of pizza before we fight over a sofa.

Speaker 9 That sounds like couple therapy.

Speaker 21 Right? I mean, you know.

Speaker 16 I think I'm understanding this right, having been culturally immersed for a day, but offering someone the last piece of pizza just so they turn it down say you can have it, that's Minnesota nice.

Speaker 12 I got it.

Speaker 1 Nate Burkis, we are delighted to have you here. We have asked you to play a game we're calling.

Speaker 3 Try some exterior decorating.

Speaker 1 So you do interior decor. We thought we'd ask you about exterior decor, namely tattoos.

Speaker 15 Perfect.

Speaker 23 Is it perfect?

Speaker 1 Yeah, this is great. So we're going to ask you three questions about tattoos.
Get two right. You win a prize for one of our listeners.
Bill, who is Nate Burkis playing for?

Speaker 4 Martin Gardner of Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Speaker 1 Here's your first question. Ready?

Speaker 1 When Ariana Grande released her single Seven Rings, she celebrated by going down to the tattoo parlor and getting a tattoo of the two Japanese characters meaning seven and ring. Seven, ring.

Speaker 1 One One problem though, what was it? A, the tattoo artist inked a seven next to a little portrait of Ringo Starr.

Speaker 1 B, the tattoo artist instead did the Japanese characters for bad and blood because bad blood is a Taylor Swift single that he preferred to any of her music.

Speaker 1 Or, C, those two characters combined form a proper noun meaning a small charcoal grill.

Speaker 1 I'm going with C. You're correct.
Yes, it was.

Speaker 1 Basically, I mean, it's like you try to get something and it ends up just being like a hibachi.

Speaker 12 All right.

Speaker 1 Next question. Tattoo artists sometimes make mistakes, like when a cannabis enthusiast asked for a tattoo of a pocket watch showing the time 4.20.

Speaker 1 But what happened? A, even though it's in ink and never changes, the clock is still always four minutes fast. B, he did the pocket watch with the lid closed, so you can't see what time it is.

Speaker 1 Or C, he accidentally drew it backwards, realizing afterwards that now the clock reads 7.40.

Speaker 21 I think he drew it backwards.

Speaker 1 You're right, it says 7.40.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 21 And to think I've been just selling bath mats all these years.

Speaker 23 I know.

Speaker 19 You could have been acing quizzes, I guess. Anyway, last question.

Speaker 1 See if you can make this as perfect as everything else is. Okay.

Speaker 1 Sometimes a tattoo artist's mistake turns out to be a kind of happy accident, like in which of these cases? A, a tattoo reading Murphy's Law, i.e.

Speaker 1 the idea that anything that can go wrong will go wrong,

Speaker 1 and he misspelled it Murphy's Law.

Speaker 17 B,

Speaker 1 an artist

Speaker 1 putting in the name of a man's new baby put Maya instead of the baby's name, Mara. but it turned out the doctor had made the same typo in the birth certificate.

Speaker 1 Or C, a woman got a tattoo of a forest which looked terrible, but it just so happened the tree trunks happened to form a UPC code that gets her the employee discount when she scans it at Nordstrom.

Speaker 21 I think it's B.

Speaker 1 You think it's B, the matching typos? No, it was actually Murphy's Law. It was.

Speaker 1 It was Murphy's Law. The client saw it and was utterly delighted.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Nate Burkus do on our quiz?

Speaker 3 It was almost perfect, but you still got two out of three, which means you're a winner.

Speaker 1 Nate Burkis is an acclaimed interior designer who is up to so many different things. You can find them all at nateburkis.com.
Nate Burkis, thank you so much for being here.

Speaker 3 Thank you, sir.

Speaker 1 Nate Burkis, everybody.

Speaker 1 Calm-down hero.

Speaker 1 In just a minute, Bill has a stinky way to improve your skin. And our listener Limber Challenge call 188-WATWAIT to join us on the air.

Speaker 1 We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait-Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

Speaker 1 Support for this podcast and the following message come from Mint Mobile. At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no.
No contracts, no monthly bills, no hidden fees. Plans start at at $15 a month.

Speaker 1 Make the switch at mintmobile.com slash wait. That's mintmobile.com slash wait.
Upfront payment of $45 required equivalent to $15 a month. Limited time new customer offer for first three months only.

Speaker 1 Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra, see Mint Mobile for details.

Speaker 8 This message comes from GiveWell. When you give to a nonprofit, how do you measure success? What is the real impact on people's lives?

Speaker 8 GiveWell researches the highest impact opportunities around the world. Over 150,000 donors have confidently used GiveWell's research, collectively saving an estimated 300,000 lives.

Speaker 8 Make a tax-deductible donation at givewell.org. First-time donors can have their donation matched up to $100 as long as matching funds last.
Select podcast and NPR at checkout.

Speaker 3 From NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We're playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Bobcat Gulthwaite, and Joyelle Nicole Johnson.

Speaker 3 And here again is your host at the Orpheum Theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota Peters.

Speaker 6 Say gold.

Speaker 14 Thank you, Bill.

Speaker 1 Thanks, everybody.

Speaker 1 In just a minute, Bill serves up some deep-fried rhymes in in our listener Limberick Challenge game. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1888-WAIT WAIT, that's 1-888-9248-924.

Speaker 1 Right now, panel, some more questions for you all from The Week's News.

Speaker 1 Bobcat, according to a relationship expert, one of the signs that your partner may be cheating on you with a coworker is a sudden interest on their part in what?

Speaker 4 The way they look.

Speaker 1 That is actually part of it, but that's not the first thing you should be worried about. Remember, I said like they might be having an affair with their coworker if all of a sudden

Speaker 1 your partner is strangely really really into what?

Speaker 1 Staplers.

Speaker 1 Work, yes, into their jobs. If they all of a sudden are really into their job.

Speaker 1 Did your partner just get a promotion for excellence at work? That slut.

Speaker 1 According to a relationship expert consulted by the Daily Mail, exhibiting a sudden increased interest in work is a sign your partner might be cheating on you. I think it's gotta depend though.

Speaker 1 Or they're like, I have to stay late to balance the budget. Or they're like, I have to stay late to balance someone on my body.

Speaker 1 Another sign, as you suggested, is if all of a sudden they're upgrading their wardrobe and their general look, right?

Speaker 1 If out of nowhere your partner is trying to improve themselves, the appropriate response is jealousy and suspicion.

Speaker 9 You're not the slob I married.

Speaker 6 What's wrong?

Speaker 16 I've never been more attracted to you and I hate it.

Speaker 1 Josh, if you've already watched everything on Hulu and Netflix, don't worry, another company has announced plans for their own branded streaming network. What is the company?

Speaker 16 Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 1 You're exactly right.

Speaker 16 You can hear the enthusiasm in my voice.

Speaker 10 Wow.

Speaker 1 Chick-fil-A, the Chick-fil-A, or as it's more commonly known, Popeyes for Jesus,

Speaker 1 Announced that it was launching its own streaming TV platform filled with original programming. It's great news for anyone who's been looking for TV shows that you cannot watch on Sundays.

Speaker 16 I'll tell you what, the interior design shows on that network are going to be ugly as hell.

Speaker 12 No, no.

Speaker 6 It's true, actually.

Speaker 1 They are going, they say, to favor reality and unscripted shows. So just look for their makeover show, Straight Eye for the Also Straight Guy

Speaker 1 and Conversion Therapy Island.

Speaker 18 Mike Pence is on that island.

Speaker 12 And you know,

Speaker 1 if it's anything like their restaurants, liberals are going to condemn it, but every now and then they'll go over and give it a try because it's really good.

Speaker 16 Watch their shows if they're in an airport.

Speaker 6 Yeah, exactly, yeah.

Speaker 1 Josh, according to the Wall Street Journal, there's a new change in office etiquette. People are writing brutally honest what?

Speaker 16 People are not writing brutally honest

Speaker 23 emails?

Speaker 1 You're close. Okay.

Speaker 1 Not the emails.

Speaker 1 It's an email, but it's automatically sent because it is a...

Speaker 16 It was an out-of-office replacement.

Speaker 10 Yes.

Speaker 1 People are writing brutally honest, out-of-office replies.

Speaker 20 Wow.

Speaker 1 Now, people are becoming more militant about guarding the work-life boundary, so there's no more polite, apologetic, oh, I'll be away from my desk, but I'll get back to you as soon as I can. No.

Speaker 1 It's all hard truths now. One man's out-of-office reply quoted in the journal said, quote, and this is real, I am out of the office having way more fun than communicating with you.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 I will likely forget to email you back.

Speaker 1 Still, a little elaborate. Why not just go with a a simple, I'm out of the office, probably at your mom's house?

Speaker 16 Yeah, I feel like if they're going to be rude, you might as well be more explicit, right? Like, I'm on a beach getting a sunburn on my butt cheeks because I fell asleep drunk and naked.

Speaker 1 Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 188-WAIT-WAIT.

Speaker 1 That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks back at the glorious Studio Bakery Theater in downtown Chicago.
And come see the Wait Wait Stand-Up Tour.

Speaker 1 That will be in Fort Lauderdale, Orlando, Tampa, and Atlanta, September 5th through the 8th. For tickets and more information, just wander over to nprpresents.org.

Speaker 1 Hi, you are on WaitWait, don't tell me.

Speaker 15 Hello, this is James from Hoboken.

Speaker 6 Hoboken! Jersey! Hoboken, New Jersey. I'm from New Jersey.

Speaker 19 Yeah, New Jersey indeed.

Speaker 1 Are you from there, or did you end up there, you know, as a

Speaker 1 followed my wife here? I'm originally from Chicago.

Speaker 22 Yay!

Speaker 1 My mother actually used to work in the Chase building where you guys were

Speaker 10 performing.

Speaker 1 We were there. Yes, they kept us in the basement there for many, many years.

Speaker 1 Jim, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is now going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word of phrase missing from each.

Speaker 1 If you can fill in that last word of phrase directly on two of the limericks, you'll be a winner. Are you ready to play? Yeah.
All right, here's your first limerick.

Speaker 3 It sounds like a daredevil bar trick.

Speaker 3 It's what vampires dread when they are sick. Though my breath is the pits, it might help with my zits.

Speaker 3 So I'm chomping on raw cloves of...

Speaker 5 Garlic?

Speaker 10 Garlic, yes!

Speaker 1 Some people, enthusiastically, are rubbing raw garlic directly on their faces.

Speaker 1 The idea is that the compounds in the garlic will fight the oil buildup.

Speaker 1 Even more likely, though, the garlic and oil will combine until you still have zits, but now they're served with aioli.

Speaker 16 I feel like if your teen peers are already calling you Pizza Face, you don't want to introduce garlic into the equation.

Speaker 1 You don't want to introduce topics.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's bad. Here, Jim, is your next limit.

Speaker 3 It's a colorful hue I can spray on. Hints of dolphin blue blended with gray dom.

Speaker 3 Like that coloring stick that is waxy and slick, I'm applying the scent of a

Speaker 10 crayon.

Speaker 10 Crayon.

Speaker 1 The U.S.

Speaker 1 Patent Office recently issued a trademark to Crayola for the scent of their crayons, which, according to the company, is, quote, reminiscent of a slightly earthy soap with pungent leather-like clay undertones.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm with you, but what about the leather?

Speaker 1 Leather? How many cows gave their lives to fill in that Paw Patrol coloring book?

Speaker 16 I did love three-year-old Al Pacino's performance in Sentive a Crayon.

Speaker 19 It was great.

Speaker 3 Very moving.

Speaker 1 It was great.

Speaker 6 Oh, he's quiet.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 6 It was great.

Speaker 1 All right, here is your last limit.

Speaker 3 With espresso, my good mood's not dropping. Now I'm buying with no signs signs of stopping.
Through the aisles I stroll without impulse control. Now I spend too much when I'm out

Speaker 10 shopping. Shopping, yes.

Speaker 1 According to psychologists, if you're trying to save money, you should not drink coffee before shopping.

Speaker 1 Psychologists think that this might be because caffeine makes you excited and more vulnerable to impulse decisions, or it might have nothing to do with that, and instead just come down to people going into stores and saying, I'll buy anything you want.

Speaker 1 I just need to use your bathroom right now.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Jim do in our quiz?

Speaker 3 It's a perfect score for Jimmy. Come home, we miss you.

Speaker 5 Welcome.

Speaker 1 Take care.

Speaker 1 Bye-bye.

Speaker 2 This message comes from Schwab. Everyone has moments when they could have done better, like cutting their own hair or forgetting sunscreen, so now you look like a tomato.

Speaker 2 Same goes for where you invest. Level up and invest smarter with Schwab.
Get market insights, education, and human help when you need it. Learn more at schwab.com.
This message comes from Michelin.

Speaker 2 More than a tire company, Michelin is an innovation company, from connected mobility to clean materials, and now taking on one of the toughest mobility challenges, space.

Speaker 2 Developing an airless wheel for space exploration, designed to withstand the extreme conditions at the moon's south pole, Michelin isn't just making exceptional tires, they're helping build a better future.

Speaker 2 Motion for life. More at michelinman.com slash y-michelin slash innovation.

Speaker 2 This message comes from EasyCater, EasyCater, committed to helping organizations order and manage food for all their business needs with online ordering from favorite restaurants, employee meal programs, and tools to see and control food spend.

Speaker 2 At easycator.com.

Speaker 1 Now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Speaker 1 Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score?

Speaker 3 Sure, Bob Kett and Joyelle each have three, and Josh has two.

Speaker 6 Oh, ha ha.

Speaker 16 You said it like I'm behind in a soccer match.

Speaker 1 That means, Josh, you're in second place, so you will go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill in the blank.

Speaker 1 On Wednesday, the Supreme Court declined to lift a block on the Biden administration's blank relief plan. Student loan.
Right.

Speaker 1 On Thursday, the CIA took partial credit for foiling a planned terrorist attack on a blank concert in Austria.

Speaker 16 Taylor Swift. Yes.

Speaker 1 This week, over 4 million people were urged to evacuate before a typhoon hit the coast of Blank.

Speaker 6 Oh, Japan?

Speaker 1 Right. On Tuesday, an outage caused thousands of AT ⁇ T customers to lose blank service for almost 12 hours.

Speaker 16 Cell phone?

Speaker 22 Right.

Speaker 1 This week, Ron DeSantis backed off a proposed plan to blank some of Florida's state parks.

Speaker 16 Close?

Speaker 1 Not quite. Pave them to put in pickleball courts.
On Wednesday. That's worse.
That's worse. On Wednesday, Yelp filed a lawsuit against search giant blank.
Google. Right.

Speaker 1 On Tuesday, Travis Kelsey and his brother signed a $100 million blank deal with Amazon. Podcast.

Speaker 1 Right, this week, teachers in charge of a science fair in the UK were surprised when one student brought in blank as their project.

Speaker 16 And one student brought in...

Speaker 16 seasoning.

Speaker 22 No.

Speaker 1 A nuclear reactor is the answer. The student impressed everyone at the science fair when he showed up with a miniature version of a nuclear fusion reactor, which successfully created plasma.

Speaker 1 Some other parents suspected that this was way too complicated for a kid, but little Mikey Oppenheimer said his family did not help him.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Josh do in our quiz?

Speaker 13 Six right.

Speaker 3 12 more points. Total of 14.
You're in the lead.

Speaker 6 All right.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 Bobcat and Joyelle are tied. I'm going to randomly choose Joyelle to go next.

Speaker 22 There you go.

Speaker 1 Fill in the blank, Joyelle. On Tuesday, prosecutors filed an updated election interference indictment against Blank.

Speaker 13 Time on trial? Right.

Speaker 1 This week, Kamala Harris and her vice presidential pick, Blank, sat down for their first joint interview.

Speaker 13 To the window, to the wall!

Speaker 1 On Tuesday, the Kremlin added 100 Americans to a list banning them from entering Blank.

Speaker 18 The Kremlin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they just put their pictures up next to the cash register at the front of the Kremlin.

Speaker 10 Don't let these people in.

Speaker 1 No, Russia in general, yes. This week, officials in Chicago confirmed they had found dangerous levels of lead in the drinking water at Blank's office building.
MPRs!

Speaker 22 No!

Speaker 1 At the Environmental Protection Agency's office building.

Speaker 1 On Wednesday, the Paralympic Games began in Blank.

Speaker 6 Parents! Yes!

Speaker 1 On Monday, Pharma bro Martin Shkarelli was ordered to turn over all copies of his one-of-a-kind album by Blank.

Speaker 6 Wu-Tangs for the children.

Speaker 1 Yes, Wu-Tang Clam.

Speaker 1 This week, lines at the Edinburgh Fringe Fest were around the block to get into a one-night-only performance of a show called Blank.

Speaker 18 Bobcat Goldthwaite and his ducks take America.

Speaker 17 Ah, no.

Speaker 1 The show is called, quote, a young man dressed as a gorilla, dressed as an old man, sits rocking in a rocking chair for 56 minutes and then leaves.

Speaker 18 Do I get points because that answer is crazy?

Speaker 22 No,

Speaker 1 we don't. But I will say that that is both the title of the show and a synopsis.
That's all it is. It is a guy in a gorilla costume rocking in a rocking chair for about an hour.

Speaker 1 But if that's not great enough for you, stick around after the show is done to see the next big hit: man in a janitor costume sweeps the floor and locks up for the night.

Speaker 1 Bill, how did Joyelle do in our quiz?

Speaker 3 All right, eight more points, total of 11 puts her in number two.

Speaker 17 All right.

Speaker 18 Silver meadow, baby.

Speaker 1 So, how many then does Bobcat need to win?

Speaker 3 Bobcat, he only needs six to win.

Speaker 9 Oh, it's not going to happen.

Speaker 1 That's a pipe drink. Okay, Bobcat, this is for the game.
Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the U.S.
Army rebuked the Trump campaign for filming in a prohibited section of Blank.

Speaker 9 The Arlington Cemetery. Right.

Speaker 1 Following decades of sibling rivalry, the members of British rock band Blank announced reunion plans. That's right.

Speaker 1 On Tuesday, the launch of Polaris Dawn, the latest mission for private space company Blank, was delayed.

Speaker 15 X.

Speaker 1 Yes, SpaceX. This week, wildlife officials in Missouri confirmed that a bald eagle thought to have been injured was actually just blank.

Speaker 22 Goofing around. No.

Speaker 1 Just quote, too fat to fly.

Speaker 16 According, Sam.

Speaker 1 We've been there, people. According to a new study, over the past decade, the level of microplastics in our blanks has increased by 50%.
In our oceans?

Speaker 10 No, in our bodies.

Speaker 1 I'm going to give it to you, brains. This week, a writer for the New York Times wrote that the best way to slow down and take in all the pleasures of life is to blank

Speaker 1 die no

Speaker 1 no is to wear flip-flops

Speaker 20 all you have to do

Speaker 1 it'll also prevent you from getting hooked up i know well that's kind of the point he says everybody you know makes fun of you they're maligned for wearing flip-flops in public anyone wearing them instantly dismissed so you are free from other people's expectations and demands and the stress of urban life because no one cares about you.

Speaker 1 And of course, you literally have to slow down because, for God's sake, you're wearing flip-flops.

Speaker 5 Bill did

Speaker 5 Bob Cat

Speaker 1 do well enough to win.

Speaker 3 He tried so hard.

Speaker 3 For right, eight more points, 11. That means Josh wins.

Speaker 6 Yay, Josh.

Speaker 1 Josh, who is not Minnesotan, but out of all our panelists today, seems the most that he could be.

Speaker 16 Am I right? People make that mistake frequently.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what's the next surprising thing Starbucks might add to its menu. Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Speaker 1 He's a production of NPR and WBEC Chicago in Association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.
Philip Godeker writes our limericks.

Speaker 1 Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald.
BJ Lederman Composer at theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Nornbos, and Lillian King.

Speaker 1 Special thanks to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey this week. Peter Gwynn always orders a salted caramel half-calf frap with extra fudge.
Our vibe curator is Emma Choi.

Speaker 1 Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Schillock.

Speaker 1 And the executive producer of Right Wait Don Tommy is Michael Danforth. Now, panel, what will Starbucks add to its menu next? Josh Gobelman.

Speaker 16 they've dominated the field of sweet beverages, so it's time for savory. I got three words for you.
Gaspacho.

Speaker 1 Joelle Nicole Johnson.

Speaker 18 It's going to premiere next year at the Minnesota State Fair. It's a cheese currant latte.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 1 Bobcat Gulthwaite.

Speaker 9 The Nick Fleury.

Speaker 3 And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Speaker 1 Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Bubcat Goldfake, General Nicole Johnson, Josh Collins, the staff of Crew at the Arthur Inferno in Minneapolis, and our fabulous audience here.

Speaker 1 Thanks to everyone at Minnesota Public Radio, and thanks to all of you for listening out there, wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal.
We'll see you next week.

Speaker 1 This is NPR.

Speaker 8 This message comes from Vital Farms, who works with small American farms to bring you pastor-raised eggs.

Speaker 8 Farmer Tanner Pace shares why he believes it's important to care for his land and how he hopes to pass the opportunity to farm onto his sons.

Speaker 25 We are paving the way for a future. We only have one earth and we have to make it count.

Speaker 25 Like my boys, I want to see them taking care of the land for them to be able to farm and then generations to come.

Speaker 25 I really enjoy seeing, especially my whole family up there working with me and to be able to instill the things that my father, mother, and then grandparents instilled in me that I can instill in the boys.

Speaker 25 That's just the most rewarding thing that there could ever be.

Speaker 25 Vital Farms, they're motivated for the well-being of the animals, for the well-being of the land, the whole grand scope of things, they care about it all. You know, and that means a lot to me.

Speaker 8 To learn more about how Vital Farms farmers care for their hens, visit vitalfarms.com.