WWDTM: Heather Gay

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

Hey there, Salt Lake City.

Your lake might be salty, but my voice is so sweet.

I'm Ozo Slade and here's your host at Abravanel Hall in Salt Lake City, Utah, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Ozo.

Thank you, everybody.

Thank you so much.

We are so delighted to be back here.

Salt Lake City once had a reputation of being a sleepy little town where people were incredibly well-behaved.

Not anymore.

And that may be due in great part to the huge success of the real housewives of Salt Lake City.

Now, today we are going to be joined by the realest of those real housewives, Heather Gay.

And if we play our cards right, this may be the first ever WaitWait where I get a glass of wine thrown in my face.

But right now, it's your turn to turn to the camera and introduce yourself.

The number to call is 188-WAIT-WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

It's time to welcome our first listener contestant.

How are you running WaitWait?

Don't tell me.

Hi, Peter.

This is Madeline.

I'm calling from Brooklyn, New York.

Oh, Brooklyn?

Wow.

People here have heard of it.

What do you do there?

So I just graduated from the City University of New York, and very soon I will begin practicing as a clinical and a research audiologist.

So I'll be working with patients who have hearing loss and who use hearing aids and cochlear implants and trying to learn more about how they experience sound.

Well, that's great.

You're going to

bring hearing to people who don't have it.

Exactly.

That's the goal.

Well, we appreciate your help in building our audience.

Let me introduce you to our panel this week, Madeline.

First up, she's a writer and comedian who most recently wrote for Clean Slate, available to watch on Amazon now.

It's Shantira Jackson.

Next, he's a reporter at the Washington Post where he writes this style memo newsletter.

It's Shane O'Neill.

Hello, Madeline.

How are you?

Great, Shane.

And he's the host of the daily podcast TBTL and the public radio variety show LiveWire, which will be at the Fitzgerald Theater in St.

Paul on September 26th.

It's Luke Burbank.

What up, Madeline?

So, Madeline, welcome to the show.

You're going to play who's Alzo this time.

Alzo Slade, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news.

If you can identify just two of them, you'll win our prize, which is any voice from our show in your voicemail.

You ready to play?

I'm ready.

Okay, your first quote is from the New York Times.

If you spent your childhood struggling to do chin-ups in gym class, brace yourself.

That was an expert in childhood health talking about the president's announcement this week that he is bringing back what?

Oh God, the

presidential fitness challenge.

Yes, the presidential fitness challenge.

You remember that?

From your own school days, they told you to run a mile to do a certain number of pull-ups, push-ups, and other exercises, and you failed.

If anybody did well at that, they would not be in this theater.

Exactly right.

I mean,

including us.

It's a test that did traumatize elementary school kids for decades, including us, but it did serve a purpose.

The kids who did well went on to excel in sports.

The ones who didn't all went into public radio.

Do you remember the part of the test was like a flexibility test where it was like a red thing that you had to like bend?

Yes, oh god, yes.

That was called the the touch box.

Oh okay I remember it as the day I found out I'm not flexible but I'm great at farting.

Actually it was actually called the sit-and-reach box, the sit-and-reach box.

Oh, that's something else in my community.

I was a very sort of naive like suggestible kid.

So when I heard it was the president's fitness challenge in the 80s, I assumed that right after I did the shuttle run at Daniel Bagley Elementary School in Seattle, the results were immediately airlifted to President Ronald Reagan

for him to analyze.

Right, oh yeah.

It was a lot of pressure.

To the president.

And the problem was it was like pass-fail.

Either you failed like I did, but a very few people passed and got the presidential fitness medal.

And that's the problem.

The standard was too high.

Maybe some people don't get presidential fitness, but they get gubernatorial fitness.

And hey, you know, I could just imagine someone saying to me as a little pudgy boy hey Peter there's nothing wrong with comptroller fitness

all right your next quote is from a restaurant critic for the San Francisco Chronicle is pursed tuna ever okay

that was critic Mackenzie Chung Fagan on the new trend of people bringing their own what when they go out to eat Bringing their own food?

Yes, bringing their own food.

And you said it in just the right way.

Bringing their own food?

Yes.

More and more diners are sneaking their own food into restaurants.

Some establishments say that's a daily occurrence.

That's why waiters are saying, Have you dined with us before?

Have you dined anywhere before?

But surely you're thinking, Okay, they just bring in small things like their own hot sauce, right?

No, to quote one chef, one lady pulled a whole rotisserie chicken out of her purse.

We're mad at her?

I'm impressed.

Okay.

What kind of bag is it?

Because I want one.

Is the idea that people have allergies?

Well, that's the thing.

Like, why are they doing it?

Okay.

Some people are like gym bros.

They want to bring their own, you know, protein.

One fitness coach said, quote, I went to a restaurant the other day with some friends and I brought my own food and there's nothing wrong with that, unquote.

And at this point, we should mention, yes, there is.

Listen, Peter.

This is

this is America.

I wouldn't want to live in a state that didn't let you stand your ground beef

that you like to bring in to the Wendy's.

But fitness people eat food that nobody wants.

This is helping the restaurant.

Yeah,

they bring like salmon with no seasoning and boiled broccoli.

You bring that to a restaurant, I'll probably look at the menu and be like, whatever is not that.

Do you really think like cooks are like looking out the window from the kitchen and seeing somebody bringing their own food and going, thank goodness, one more person I don't have to cook for?

Well, as a former waitress, I would much rather someone just brought their own food in than tried to like put a million substitutes onto a million things.

Exactly.

Go for it.

One pizzeria reported people sneaking in pizza from another pizzeria.

Okay.

Which actually seems like aggressive, right?

That's a little over the line.

You should be allowed to bring in any food that is not the literal food they serve at the place.

Right, that's the rule, right?

But that's just a different version of a Yelp review.

That's just to let them know that their food is trash.

This is making me paranoid.

I'm wondering how many people here are listening to fresh air right now on their airplanes.

That's true.

Oh yeah, good point.

Oh wow.

Your last quote is from a reporter at Slate in response to some really big news in the tabloids this week.

I'm ready to forgive a space flight or two for this.

That was the reaction to the news that Katie Perry, singer and one-time astronaut, might be dating which former Canadian Prime Minister?

Oh, Justin Trudeau.

No, Stephen Harper.

I'm kidding.

No, yes, Justin Trudeau.

Everybody is all over this story from TMZ to the New York Times.

But it was page six, of course, of the New York Post that first reported that Katie Perry and the heartthrob politician were seen dining together, having a, quote, thoughtful conversation.

What a fascinating couple, Trudeau and Katy Perry.

We know one of them is too good for the other, but we can't figure out which one.

It does feel, this does feel like a rom-com that should be starring Ann Hathaway.

Like a pop singer who just got back from space and a devastatingly handsome world leader who is single for some reason.

You know what I mean?

This doesn't feel like real life.

This feels like a plot.

Does she want to date him or does she just want to move to Canada?

As possible.

And would they consider a thruple?

Well,

I'm trying to get out of here.

Well, what I want is like a freaky Friday where they switch bodies and

Justin Trudeau has to, you know, whatever, do whatever Katy Perry does, get made fun of by gay people on the internet.

And

Katy Perry has to go be the prime minister who's no longer the prime minister.

I think Justin Trudeau also gets made fun of by gay people on the internet.

Oh, gay people don't.

They're not smart.

They make fun of everybody.

Alzo, how did Madeline do in our quiz?

She did fantastic.

Three out of three.

Congratulations, Madeline.

Thank you so much.

Well done.

Thanks for calling and good luck with that new career.

It sounds great.

Thank you so much, Peter.

Take care.

You too.

Bye-bye.

And now, panel, I have some questions for you about this week's news.

Luke, a new snack brand promoting nostalgic flavors is selling potato chips that taste like what?

Mothballs.

I'm trying to think of the strongest sense memory from my childhood, and it's probably mothballs.

It's a nostalgic, it's a taste that's nostalgic, a flavor.

Well, like a sensation on your tongue.

Can I get a decade?

If this succeeds in the marketplace, it will be shocking.

Ah, batteries.

Yes, it tastes like licking a battery.

Yes, it's all coming back to me now.

We didn't have a lot of activities growing up where I did.

And eventually you got tired of licking them off balls.

Battery testing was a big thing.

So licking a nine-volt battery was a rite of passage for stupid kids everywhere.

And that sharp metallic jolt is now a potato chip flavor.

Bet you can eat just one.

A European chip company that calls itself Rewind for the nostalgic flavors is releasing electric 9-volt battery chips.

It's a taste that makes you say, wow,

are these just normal salt and vinegar potato chips with a picture of a battery in the bag?

Do they have one that tastes like your mom has a new friend who stays over?

Coming up, our panelists increase their vocabulary and yours in our bluff to listener game call 188 WaitWait to Play.

We'll be back in a minute with more of WaitWait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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This message comes from Focus Features.

Glamour, romance, scandal.

Downton Abbey returns for one final, unforgettable event.

It's 1930, and as a new era begins, the future of Downton is at stake.

Lady Mary is thrust into public scandal, and shocking revelations shake the family to its core.

This isn't just a movie, it's a moment.

The time has come to say goodbye, and everything has led to this.

See Downton Abbey, the grand finale on the big screen, only in theater September 12th.

This message comes from Sony Pictures Classics, with East of Wall, written and directed by Kate B.

Croft, an authentic portrait of female cowgirls and their resilience in the New West.

Set in South Dakota's Badlands, it follows a rebellious young rancher who rescues horses and shelters wayward teens while navigating grief, family tensions, and the looming loss of her land.

Only in theaters, August 15th.

From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Alzo Slade.

We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Shantira Jackson, and Shane O'Neill.

And here again is your host at Abravanel Hall in Salt Lake City, Utah, Peter Sagles.

Thank you, Alzo.

Thanks, everybody.

Thank you so much now.

It's time to the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me bluff the listener game.

Call 1888.

Wait, wait, to play our game on the air.

You can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page.

That's at wait, wait, npm.

How are you doing?

Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, this is Tara Casey from Richmond, Virginia.

Hey, Tara, we love Richmond.

We were there just earlier this year.

What do you do there?

I am on the faculty of the University of Richmond School of Law.

Right.

What is it like teaching law these days?

Is it like that the first class is like, guys, whatever.

Try something.

They might go for it.

Yeah, I'm thinking about adding choose your own adventure books to my syllabus.

Well, Tara, it's nice to have you with us.

You're going to play the game in which you have to tell truth from fiction.

Alza, what's Tara's topic?

Saborga.

We learned a new word this week.

Saborga.

S-E-B-O-R-G-A.

And no, we will not use it in a sentence.

We're going to use it in a bunch of sentences right now because our panelists are each going to tell you who or what suborga is and why it's in the news.

Pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win the weight waiter of your choice on your voicemail.

Are you ready to play?

As El Lemberby.

Okay, well then let's do it.

We'll hear first from Shantira Jackson.

In the high mountains of Sweden, there is a small village that makes some of the world's rarest cheese, saborga.

Saborga is a semi-hard cheese made from reindeer milk and right now it's going extinct.

You see, the cheese is so rare because it can only be made in the high altitude of this village with reindeer milk that can only be harvested for three months of the year by someone with very small hands.

Since the 1800s, the delicate milking of reindeer has always been done by children because they have the smallest hands.

So it became a tradition in the village that every summer, children between the ages of 8 and 12 would spend the month of July milking reindeer.

But these days, kids have other things they want to do in the summer, like sports and travel and not working in a shed all day.

After decades, the supply of suborga is running dangerously low since the only people left during milking season are a few women and even fewer men with hands like small children.

Each wheel is currently on the market for $10,000 a pop.

This week, the Saborga Producers Collective announced that the cheese would be completely extinct by 2030.

Saborga,

a reindeer cheese.

Better get yours now.

Your next Saborga saga comes from Luke Burbank.

India's capital city of Delhi has more than 100 diplomatic missions in it.

France, Japan, the U.S., Saborga.

Wait, you've never heard of Saborga?

Well, clearly, you've never visited the fancy-looking building that Harsh Vardharn Jane, known as Baron H.

V.

Jane to his friends, was running until Indian police arrested Jane for falsely claiming to be the ambassador of Saborga.

Which doesn't not sound like a word the Swedish chef from the Muppet says a lot.

Police say Jane simply rented the house and the cars and declared himself a diplomat, assuming no one would Google the countries he claimed to represent, which also included West Arctica and Polbia-Ladonia.

And honestly, the Baron was kind of right.

getting away with the scam for some seven years, police say.

It is unclear when things began to unravel for Jane, but it could have been when someone at the police police station actually said the word Saborga out loud and then thought about it for like three seconds.

Saborga, a fake country that a man successfully pretended to be a diplomat from for seven years in India.

And your last tale of Saborga comes from Shane O'Neill.

Last week, after winning a soccer match, Lithuanian soccer star Ruda Schlarb showed up to a press conference with makeup smudges around her eyes.

When asked why she wore makeup to the match, she replied, once in a while, mascara just gives me a confidence boost.

Saborga.

Saborga?

What was suborga?

It's a bit of slang that has now broken into the mainstream.

So, you know, when men want to express emotion without seeming gay, they say, no homo.

But what do you say when you've done something boring or cliche or tacky and you want to make sure everyone knows you are gay?

In Lithuania, you say, saborga.

The phrase, which directly translates to, I persist in my lifestyle, was once only used in Lithuanian gay bars.

Now it's spreading all over the capital city of Vinnius.

For example, I hope my cousin asks me to be her maid of honor.

Saborga!

Or, actually, I haven't seen the set list yet from Lady Gaga's current tour.

Saborga!

All right.

So, Saborga showed up in the news this week, and it means one of these three things.

Is Saborga from Shantira a rare reindeer milk cheese that's going to go out of the world soon because we don't have enough children to milk the reindeer?

From Luke Burbank, a fictional country that a man successfully pretended to represent earning fortune and some fame in New Delhi for seven years.

Or from Shane O'Neill

a slang phrase from Lithuanian that people are using to mean, hey, don't worry, I'm still gay.

Oh my goodness.

I think I'm going to try for the New Delhi scam.

The New Delhi scam.

Luke's story.

All right.

Well, to bring you the true story, we hear from a reporter who covered it.

He presented himself as the ambassador of West Arctica as well as Seboria, Polaria, and London.

That was Lacha Segel,

who covered the story for WION in India.

Congratulations, Tara.

You got it right.

You're in a point for Luke just by telling the truth.

You won our prize.

The voice of your choice on your voicemail, perhaps saying Saborga.

Thank you so much for playing with us today.

Thank you so much, y'all.

Bye-bye.

And now the game we call Not My Job, aficionados of the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo say the jewel in that particular crown is Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

And the fan favorite among that group is Heather Gay,

right?

Known on the show for her

humor, her reverence, her mischief, and for calling out fellow housewives on camera for their deceptions.

She's the author of one New York Times bestseller, Bad Mormon,

and has another hitting the shelves now, good time girl, Heather Gay.

Welcome to Wait Wake.

Thank you for having me.

It's so great to have you.

I want to compliment you for dressing the part.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Right.

Do you always feel the need to do that when you go out around town?

Otherwise, people will be disappointed if they run into you wearing some schmata?

I often am around town wearing a schmada, and I am just

trying to, you know, I have three daughters, I try to like still be a housewife as much as possible, but when it's a special occasion, a bucketless moment to be here on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Yes.

I show up and show up.

I agree.

Oh, you do, yeah.

Now it seems to be that everyone I know who loves the franchise says that Salt Lake City is the best real housewife show.

Why is that?

We are all pretty real, and I think Salt Lake City keeps us real.

Right.

We're all each other has in this community, and we have grown up here, we have lived here, we have roots here, and we are just messed up enough to keep it interesting.

Right.

Do you think you are representative of the housewives of Salt Lake City?

Like a random sample could have ended up with the same cast.

Yes, I feel like we are representative of the Housewives of Salt Lake City.

There's a little something for everybody.

There you go.

Now, I just want to make everybody clear, to people who aren't familiar, this is not Secret Lives of Mormon Wives.

Okay, different show.

For someone who's new to it, how would you tell the two shows apart?

I would say that we are the mighty oak, and Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is the acorn that fell and sprouted as a result of us.

Oh, wow.

You better tell them.

Tell them.

We proved the market.

Tell them it.

And we created, you know, a little bit of Mormonism in the zeitgeist.

Yes.

You created intrigue, I think.

That mighty oak is casting casting some shade.

So housewives shows are known for the housewives starting the show every season by turning to the camera, right, and giving your opening like line.

Was there a technical term for that?

The opening?

It's called your tagline.

Your tagline.

Yeah, your season tagline.

Can you share some of yours?

My first one was, just like my pioneer ancestors, I'm trying to blaze a new trail.

And that

shoulder rotation is so important.

And then I think season two was, I was raised Mormon, but now I'm raising a glass of champagne.

That's good.

Yeah, I've had a cupful.

I've had six now.

No, yeah, six.

Wow.

Do you workshop them?

Do you try them?

No,

they're assigned.

No.

No.

You're allowed to contribute ideas, but they shut those down immediately.

Wait a minute.

My world has been rocked?

Somebody wrote that for you?

Well,

I had alluded so much to my pioneer ancestry that it kind of wrote itself.

In a weird way.

But yeah, like they, you know, and you can kind of like, they'll give you three or four to keep you guessing, and you can kind of try to mess up the ones that, you know, you don't like, that don't represent you fully.

Yeah.

Do you remember any of the bad ones, the ones you tried to kind of fumble?

Well, they're usually picked.

I remember,

like, I may be a bad Mormon, but I'm always a good time.

And I think I said that in a funny way, and they used the funny way, which made it invariably worse.

Heather, a huge fan.

So glad you're here.

Love you.

I cannot believe that my worlds are quiet like this.

Would you indulge me?

Could I workshop a tugline?

An evening, please.

I don't wait, wait, but I always tell.

There you go.

I love it.

And then I turn.

It's pretty good.

Very good.

It's the weather.

It's pretty good.

If the world could have seen Shane, your smoldering glance.

Thank you.

And I am willing to relocate to Salt Lake City.

You have a new book called Good Time Girl.

Yes.

And this book is sort of a recounting of your various exploits, presumably once you left the LDS church.

Can you give everybody sort of a taste, a sample of the stories you tell

your new book, Good Time Girl?

My senior trip to Tijuana, where I discovered that I might be more of a good-time girl than I anticipated.

As one does in Tijuana, yes.

It's right there in the name.

Yeah, and I thought I was having the most worldly foreign experience of my life.

Tijuana.

Right.

But then I later went on a mission for my church in the south of France, which ended up being even more of an adventure.

It's amazing.

I didn't realize that you had gone on an LDS mission to the south of France.

If only the church had not sent you to a place with wine.

Yes.

The land of love, and I was preaching celibacy and

sober living.

Not so great.

Not so great.

Not so deceptive.

The news was actually closed down.

When in Provence.

Yeah, don't be Mormon.

That's what they say.

Well, Heather Gay, we could talk to you all day, I think.

But we have asked you to play a game we're calling...

Good time girl, meet good crime girl.

As you know, some women aren't as virtuous as you, and they cross the bright red line of the law.

So we're going to ask you three questions about female criminals.

Answer two correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners.

Also, who is Heather Gay playing for?

Melissa Snyder of Mill Creek, Utah.

I love Mill Creek!

There you go, everybody does here.

So here's your first question.

A woman in Florida took a lift to a gas station, robbed it, and then would try to get back in the lift, the driver refused.

So,

what did the woman then do?

A, gave the driver one star and sent a detailed complaint to Lyft.

B, returned all the stolen goods, gave up on the robbery, and got back in the car.

Or C, just called an Uber instead because they'll do anything.

Well, I'm wondering if the Lyft had a pink mustache attached to the fender or not, because that could be a factor.

As an Uber fan, I'm going to go with C.

You're going to go with Uber.

Yes, that's what she did.

I'm applauding for myself.

We have to do that on Housewise because no one else will.

The lift driver called the police, and the police found her waiting for the Uber she had ordered.

All right, very good.

Here's your next question.

A Massachusetts woman convicted of making and possessing cocaine, meth, LSD, and other drugs in 2016 got sent to prison, but also, of course, lost her job.

What was her job?

A, she was the president of DARE, the police program to ensure kids not to use drugs.

B, the scientist in charge of drug testing for police across the state of Massachusetts.

Or C,

Harvard law professor.

I'm just going to like zero in on the making of and assume that there is some scientific background for the chemical creation of such a litany of drugs, which I'm completely unfamiliar with.

Absolutely.

Wait a minute, let me quickly check the index of your new book.

I'm a good time girl, not a great time girl.

You'll know our limits.

So I'm going to go with B.

You're going to go with B.

That's right.

She was in charge of drug testing.

She says that she went to work high on cocaine every day for eight years.

Wow.

She sounds like a real housewife.

All right, you're doing great.

Let's go for perfect.

One of the most famous lady lawbreakers of all time was Ma Barker, whose kids and husband were part of a notorious gang of bank robbers back in the 1930s.

But she was also a beloved cultural figure, as evidenced by what?

A, Barker house rolls based on her family recipe, which were later changed to Parker House Rolls because of her bad press.

B, people came out to have picnics while watching her final shootout with the FBI.

Or C, while on the run, she got an endorsement deal from Smith and Wesson, which she called, quote, mama's little helper.

I mean, I believe that Angie Dickinson started a movie called Big Bag Mama in the 70s.

Was that based on Mama Barker?

I don't know.

Well,

I only could watch it when my parents weren't home on HBO and in segments.

So I'm going to go with Bea.

You're going to go with B.

They came out to watch her have her shootout.

That's right.

Wow.

Yeah.

It happened.

Don't

challenge me with perfection.

I will take it.

It happened naturally in Florida and the shootout with the FBI lasted so long that people were like, oh, this will be fun.

And they packed a picnic lunch and they came out and they watched the gunfight.

Wow.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, you got it right.

And that just goes to show you, kids, please stay up late and sneak and watch HBO.

You'll be a winner.

It's good to be gleaned from rated R movies.

There you go.

Alzo, how did Heather Gay do in our quiz?

She did criminally well.

Three out of three.

Heather Gay is an author, but of course, one of the real housewives of Salt Lake City.

Her new book, Good Time Girl, is available now.

We've given up for Heather Gay.

Thank you so much for being around right with yourself.

In just a minute, Alzo has a new use for your YoPlay in the Listener Limerick Challenge call 1888, Wait, Wait to Play.

We'll be back in a minute with more WaitWait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.

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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.

I'm Alzo Slade.

We're playing this week with Shantira Jackson, Luke Burbank, and Shane O'Neill.

And here again is your host at Abravanel Hall in Salt Lake City, Utah, Peter Sagal.

Thank you, Alzo.

Thank you, everybody.

In just a a minute, we will play the Listener Limerick Challenge, or as I like to call it, the Listener Limerick Opportunity.

If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1888-WATEWAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

Right now, panel, I have some more questions for you from this week's news.

Shantira, according to a new study, every time you do what?

You take exactly 36 minutes off your lifespan.

Eat too many cheeseburgers.

Oh, it's eating something, and it's not cheeseburgers.

It's something else.

I'll give you a hint.

Everybody needs to say their farewells to Joey Chestnut.

Oh, a hot dog?

A hot dog, yes.

No, I love hot dogs.

Well, I got bad news.

But it's statistically exact news.

We've always been told that junk food shortens your life.

Okay, but a group of scientists claim to have actually quantified it down to the minute.

Using diet and disease data from around the world, they've concluded that each hot dog shortens your life by exactly 36 minutes.

I might die tonight, including that.

Okay.

And that's bad, but

can we choose which 36 minutes?

Do they factor in like people that choke on a piece of hot dog and maybe die?

Because as a person who lives alone, this is a big thing I think about now, which is choking.

I'm sometimes eating something in my house that it goes down wrong, and I think this could be the end.

I don't think it includes that

who slip on hot dogs in the floor or gets stabbed by an inky.

None of those are.

I'll be honest.

Yes.

A good hot dog at a baseball game is worth dying for.

What a way to go.

I'm not going to lie.

Shantira, Mariah Carey.

Yes.

That's all the question.

That's it.

I just want to make sure that you're not.

That's enough for me.

That is enough for me.

Mariah Carey, Shantira, says that she no longer acknowledges what concept.

Oh, time.

Exactly right.

What?

You just knew that.

I knew that.

Because that's my friend in my head.

She doesn't even have a watch.

She just looks at her own wrist and knows all is right with the world.

In a recent interview, Mariah Carey confirmed that she does not believe in the passage of time.

Yeah.

Explaining,

I just don't believe in it.

Yeah.

You know what that is?

That's a sweet, sweet fantasy, baby.

Maybe this is just a muse to convince us all that Christmas time is an illusion and we have to listen to that damn song every day in the week.

I will.

I will.

You're a fan.

Yeah, I have taste.

I like women who can sing well.

And she sings better than well.

And that props to the queen.

Oh, yeah.

She can't dance, though.

Everybody has their thing.

you can't have it all baby you can't have it all maybe she doesn't maybe she doesn't believe in the concept of rhythm either

she sings on the twos and fours and she dances on the ones and threes

Shane we learned this week that one in three people claim they have watted their managers at work Texted their managers.

No, dated people.

Yes, dated.

One in three people say they have dated their manager or supervisor at work.

That is a staggering statistic.

How am I supposed to keep up with all that gossip?

Fast Company magazine looked into it because of that infamous Cold Play couple, right?

They wanted to see how common this is.

And according to one anonymous survey of a thousand employees, 320 of them said that they had had an affair with a boss or manager.

That is unsettling.

No, I never wanted to date anybody at the Banana Republic I was working with.

Bumpy's fruit and yogurt was not exactly a target-rich environment for 17-year-old Luke Burbank.

It did also say, though, that in addition to that one-third dating their boss statistic, eight in ten people said they had used flirting or suggestive behavior to successfully get ahead at work.

So good news.

The reason you didn't get that promotion isn't that you're incompetent, it's that you're an ugo.

Peter, Wow.

Is that true?

Are you joking?

I'm blushing, Shane.

I'm showing you eyes.

You're funny.

It's working.

It's working.

If Shane wins this week, I am filing a complaint.

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme.

If you want to play on air, call or leave a message at 188-WAIT WAIT.

That's 1-888-924-8924.

You can see us most weeks at the Stude Baker Theater back home in Chicago.

Or Catch Us on the Road will be at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts on August 28th, and the fabulous Fox Theater in St.

Louis on September 18th.

For tickets and information to all our live shows, go to nprpresents.org.

Hi, Iran.

Wait, wait, don't tell me.

Hi, this is Rachel Benzoni, and I am from Omaha, Nebraska.

Omaha is a great place.

What do you do there?

Well, I actually just turned in my PhD dissertation and I will graduate in two weeks.

Hey, congratulations!

What is your PhD in?

It's about science teacher leadership on TikTok.

Nice.

Yes.

Whoa.

You

have a doctorate in TikTok?

Better believe it.

Whoa.

Well, Dr.

Rachel Alzo-Slade, right here, filling in for Bill Curtis, is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each.

If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a winner.

Ready to go?

Definitely.

Here's your first limerick.

These heat waves are leaving me so hurt.

So I sit around all day with no shirt.

A white milky paste can cool down my place.

I slather my windows with.

Please tell me it's not yogurt.

It is yogurt.

A professor of quote, healthy buildings

in Britain says he successfully lowered the inside temperature of her house by eight degrees just by slathering the windows with yogurt.

I guess he had given up trying to get the building to eat the yogurt for its health.

The yogurt film does let in some light, so if you're trying to sleep in, you definitely want to use the blackout yogurt.

I mean, I think the temperature drops when people leave a place.

Yeah.

There's no people in it.

Like your family.

Are you okay?

Would it work with cottage cheese?

Because that sounds good, actually, to me.

Then you get the dappled light coming in.

Yeah, exactly.

Here is your next limerick.

When she's snacking in bed, she's all thumbs.

But Tyra won't waste those yum yums.

Broken cookies and chips pass right through her lips.

She'll pick up and eat all those

crumbs.

crumbs that's right on the Today Show this week supermodel Tyra Banks explained her method for cleaning food crumbs from the floor of her apartment she bends down and eats them

this might seem weird but you are going to love the new season of America's Next Top Roomba

She gave more and more details about her like wet finger-to-mouth system for moving crumbs off the floor no matter how many times she was asked to stop

There's like 27 seasons of America's Top Model.

Girl, I will buy you a vacuum.

It is like it's the ultimate flex, right?

Because her point, it would seem, is: my house is so spotless, it's so pristine and clean that there's no difference in any of the surfaces in the house.

You literally eat off the floor.

Yeah.

It's a brag.

I mean, but also the crumbs, come on.

If you drop a whole chip, I get it.

Yeah.

This seems desperate.

I did that backstage at this theater.

Yeah.

Right.

All right, Rachel, here is your last limerick.

For the efforts that Mario spends, Peach's kisses are his happy ends.

But the fans are confused.

Has the plumber been used?

Because Nintendo maintains they're just

friends, yes, and a huge shock to the gaming world.

Nintendo has revealed that Princess Peach and Super Mario are, quote, just good friends.

It was devastating, devastating for Princess Peach to hear Mario say, it's not you, it's Sami.

I am not devastated.

You're not.

Just because you saved my life does not mean I have to be your girlfriend.

That's true, you know?

I don't owe you anything!

The revelation caused a firestorm in social media, rightfully so.

For decades, Mario has been rescuing Peach from lava-filled castles and regularly saving her entire kingdom.

And if that's not relationship material, what is?

And don't even get me started on all the rides he has given her to the airport in his cart.

Also, how did Rachel do in our quiz?

The new PhD got three out of three.

There you go.

Congratulations and everything.

Take care, Doctor.

Thank you.

Bye, everybody.

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Now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank.

Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can.

Each correct answer is now worth two points.

Alzo, can you give us the scores?

Yes, Shantira and Shane are tied up at two, and Luke is in the lead with three.

Luke, you're in first place.

Shantira and Shane, you're tied for second.

Shane, I'm going to arbitrarily choose you to go first.

Here we go.

The clock will start when they begin your first question.

Fill in the blank.

On Tuesday, Senate Democrats tried to use a little-known law to force the release of the blank files.

Epstein.

Right, despite bipartisan opposition, Senate Republicans confirmed one of Blank's former lawyers to a lifetime appellate judge appointment.

Right, Trump.

This week, the administration shortened its deadline for Russia to begin ceasefire talks with Blank.

Ukraine?

Right.

On Tuesday, coffee shop giant blank shut down their entire line of pickup-only cafes.

Starbucks.

Right, this week, the Foo Fighters announced they were replacing their drummer with a drummer from the Nine Inch Nails, and in response, the Nine Inch Nails announced Blank.

They were taking the Foo Fighters' drummer.

Exactly right.

On Thursday Procter and Gamble announced a 25% price increase on products due to President Trump's blanks.

Dandruff problem.

No.

Tariffs?

Yes.

According to new data, plastic surgery is booming among GLP1 users suffering from what's called blank face.

Baggy face space.

No, Ozempic face.

That's what I said.

This week a woman in Miami was stopped by the TSA after they caught her trying to smuggle two blanks in her blank.

Two pigeons in her suitcase.

No, two turtles in her bra.

TSA caught the woman as she tried to sneak through the Miami airport security checkpoint with two turtles stuffed in her bra.

It may sound funny to you.

But turtles are a serious commitment.

They can live for over 100 years, so you need to make sure that after you die, one of your kids will be willing to stuff them in their bra, too.

Also, how did Shane O'Neal do in our quiz?

He got six right for 12 more points and is now in the lead.

All right.

Shantira, you're up next, fill in the blank, joining France and the UK.

Canada announced plans to recognize a blank as a state.

Palestine?

Right.

On Tuesday, an earthquake near Russia's eastern coast led to blank warnings in the U.S.

Tsunami.

Right, on Thursday, the administration announced that construction had begun in a new lavish ballroom in the blank.

The White House.

Right, according to a new study, you may be breathing in micro blanks while in your home and car.

Plastics.

Right, this week Representative Mike Collins kicked off his campaign for Georgia's Senate by posting a video on Twitter that blanked.

Nobody wanted to see.

That may well be true, but to the point, his video on Twitter announcing his campaign misspelled Georgia.

So I was right.

In a weird way.

On Thursday, cloud cover for SpaceX to scrap a planned flight to the blank.

The moon.

International Space Station.

On Tuesday, thousands of fans traveled to Birmingham, England to watch Blank's funeral procession.

Azzi Azzi.

Right, Ozzy Osborne.

This week a man in Argentina won $13,000 in damages after his blank was posted to Google Street View without his permission.

Address?

No.

His feet?

No.

His naked butt.

This man, he's in Argentina.

He checked out his own house on Google Street View.

You know, everybody does that.

And he saw an image of his own naked butt.

The camera was able to see over a fence into his garden where he was walking around naked.

So he sued and he won, but it's the rare kind of lawsuit where you kind of hope the damages you're paid are low because you don't want a judge to look at your naked body on a screen, turn to the people who showed it to the world without your consent, and say to them, You owe him a million dollars.

Also, how did Shantira do in our quiz?

She got five right for ten more points, total of 12.

Shane is still in the league.

All right, so how many then

does

Luke Burbank need to win?

Luke needs six to win.

Okay.

All right.

Here we go, Luke.

This is for the game.

Fill in the blank.

On Monday, Australia's government announced it would ban access to the video streaming site Blank for children under 16.

YouTube.

Right.

This week, Kamala Harris announced she would not run for governor of Blank in 2026.

California.

Right, despite pressure from the White House, the Federal Reserve once again held blanks steady.

Interest rate.

Right, this week, authorities in South Carolina reported that a wasp nest found at a nuclear facility was blank.

Put there by Homer Simpson.

No, was radioactive.

They have created radioactive wasps.

Good.

A research submarine filmed never-before-seen creatures living in the deepest part of the blank ocean.

Right, according to Paramount, some six million people watched Blank's season premiere, which mocked President Trump.

South Park.

Right, and this week the officials in South Carolina, who had confirmed that they found that radioactive wasp nest, said that they hadn't found blank.

The nuclear power facility.

No, the radioactive wasps.

Ah!

So they found the radioactive wasp nest near the tanks where the nuclear waste is stored, but there weren't any wasps.

Still, officials say there's nothing to worry about, or at least that's what I thought they said.

I couldn't hear them over the sound of all those enormous buzzing wings.

Also, did Luke do well enough to win?

Luke did not get enough to win.

No.

So

Shane is our champion for

well done.

In just a minute, our panelists predict now that they're bringing back the presidential fitness test, what would be the next surprising thing from our own childhood to return.

But first, let me tell you all.

Wait, wait, don't tell me.

It's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.

Philip Godeka writes our limericks.

Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.

Our our tour manager is shana donald thanks to the staff and crew at a bravenel hall and to janaid payne christy miners and everyone at kuer here in salt lake city bj ledeman

composed our theme

BJ Ledeman composed our theme.

Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Gormbost, and Lily and King.

Special thanks this week to Mohaned El-Sheikhi and Monica Hickey.

Our real house husband is Peter Gwynn.

Emma Choi is our vibe curator.

Technical direction is from Lorna White.

Our CFO is Colin Miller.

Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.

Our senior producer is Ian Schillock.

And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Michael Danforth.

Now, panel What Thing from Our Childhood Will Be Making a Comeback?

Shane O'Neal, Peace and Prosperity.

Just kidding, a Furby movie.

Shantira Jackson, Circuit City, we need her more than ever.

And Luke Burbank, a crippling fear of hot lava.

And if any of that happens, we'll be sure to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.

Thank you, Alzo Slade.

Thanks also to Shantira Jackson, Shane O'Neill, and Luke Burbank.

Thanks to our fabulous audience here in Salt Lake City, Utah.

And thanks to all of you for listening wherever you may be.

I'm Peter Sega.

We'll be back with you next week.

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