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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
My voice is so smooth you think it just got Botox.
I'm Bill Curtis.
And here is your host at the Studebaker Theater of the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.
Thanks, everybody. We have a great show for you today.
Later on, we are going to be talking to actor Josh Gad, who is probably most famous for playing Olaf the Snowman, the beloved character from the Frozen movies. That is, unless you are listening to us right now with young children.
In which case, later on, we will be interviewing Olaf the snowman. Remember, be yourself, whoever you might be, when you call in to play our games.
The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Now let's welcome our first listener contested. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Hi, this is Caroline calling in from Stanton, Virginia. Stanton, Virginia.
I don't know it. Where is it? It's right in the Shenandoah Valley.
Oh, it's beautiful there. I know that much.
What do you do there? It is so beautiful. I work on organic vegetable farms.
Yay! We got a big yay here. Wow, you know our audience.
Yeah. Everybody listening to this is currently holding a tote bag on the way to a farmer's market.
It's true. Yeah, I thought this would play well with the NPR crowd.
No fool you. Well, welcome to the show, Caroline.
Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, it's a comedian performing at Cobb's Comedy Club on January 25th as part of San Francisco Sketch Fest.
It's Josh Gondelman. Hello.
Thank you so much for having me here. Next, a comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation, and you can also see her at San Francisco Sketch Fest on January 31st.
It's Nagin Farsad. And making her debut on our panel, it's the host of the TikTok series Boy Room, it's Rachel Koster.
Hi, it's an absolute pleasure. So Caroline, you of course are going to start us off, who's Bill this time? The first new one of the year.
Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize.
Any voice from our show you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to do this? I'm ready.
Okay. Your first quote is from the prime minister of a certain island northeast of Canada.
It's not for sale. Nonetheless, Donald Trump still wants to buy it.
That would be Greenland. Yes, Greenland at a press conference this week.
Donald Trump, who will really be president again quite soon, said one of his national security priorities is annexing Greenland, a.k.a. not the Bjork Island, the other one.
He's also talked about annexing Canada, taking over the Panama Canal, and this is big. He's also going to try to buy all four railroads.
So this is true. He became obsessed with taking over Greenland years ago when a friend of his showed it to him on a map, and because of the projection of the map, it looked really, really big.
That's true. Well, of course it's big.
It's Yellowland and Blueland put together. I went on vacation one time to Iceland.
Yeah. And I think if we're going to go for something awesome, that's the place to go.
They had a lot
of little chubby horses
and a place that only had white Russians.
If we're going to go for something
far away but close enough,
that's the one to do.
You're treating it like he's at a bodega
picking a country to be
to shop for. Actually, it's a
good pitch to Trump, actually, to buy
Iceland because, as you say, you mentioned two things he really likes, white and Russian. This is interesting.
He says that if Denmark does not cede Denmark, which sort of has sovereignty over Greenland, if it doesn't cede Greenland to the United States, he will hit Denmark with massive tariffs, right? But that's not going to work. It's going to fall apart as soon as people realize, and this is true, that all our Ozempic comes from Denmark.
Wow. This is a beautiful irony.
The same company gave us Ozempic and Danish's? Exactly. Exactly.
Pick a side. All right.
here is your next quote. A number of license plates were coated with some kind of translucent goo.
That was a reporter from the New York Post describing the lengths that some New Yorkers are going to in order to get out of the way of paying what new fee? Oh, their, like, pricing traffic? Yes. Congestion pricing.
Very good. Yes.
As of January 1st, New York now charges a toll to drive your car into midtown Manhattan. They take a picture of your license plate as you cross the border and then they'll send you a bill.
It's part of a scientific study. How far can you push rich people before they finally take the subway.
And people are outraged.
As New Yorkers, right? The three of you, you know this. It's your God-given right to take half an hour to drive four blocks.
It's been incredible since congestion pricing was in effect. My wife and I were in downtown Manhattan the other day, and it was, there were no cars.
It was amazing. It made me feel like if the, if the rapture happened and like, I would still be there because Jew.
And I feel like my second response would be like, oh no, what happened to all these people? But my first response would be to like tap my wife and be like, honey, we can finally go to Carbone. The money from congestion pricing, I guess this is good news for New Yorkers.
It's going to go towards public transportation, which presumably will get really great now. It's gonna, you know, like you'll get on, you'll be like, I don't remember this bus having a chandelier.
And on the subway, waiters will come around. They'll be like, would you prefer to sit in tap or sparkling urine? Oh, my God.
Peter, yeah. I mean, forget.
I mean, I was on a subway the other day. Just like a wet thing just fell into my brow.
And I was like, what was that wet thing? And I think it was some sort of a leak because maybe the train had been outside and then went underground or whatever. But forget chandeliers.
I just want that one wet thing not to come on my face. Not to fall on your face.
Zone dry trains. Yeah.
Just a dry train would be so delightful. You're dreaming of a New York City that can afford towels.
Go back to sleep. All right.
your last quote is a line of dialogue from a recent Lindsay Lohan movie on Netflix. After this job is over, I am off to Bolivia to photograph an endangered tree lizard.
Now, Caroline, that line was written after Netflix advised TV and film producers to assume that their audience was always doing what while they're watching?
Oh, gosh.
On their phones?
I'm going to give it to you because the answer is anything else.
Netflix has admitted, at least internally, that they have lost the battle for our attention.
They now assume everybody watching their service is either cooking or knitting or watching Hulu on their phone. In an article that came out this week, screenwriters said that Netflix execs instructed them, quote, have this character announce what they're doing so the viewers who have this program on in the background can follow along, unquote, right? So that's, now you know, that's why characters in, say, Bridgerton are always saying things like, I'm in the room now, and I'm removing my clothes, and people on Love is Blind are saying, I am making a terrible mistake.
But I mean, it's so
clunky. If
they had been doing this,
instead of it being like, go ahead,
make my day, it would be like,
as you can see, I'm carrying a gun
now. Yeah.
No, no.
We are so lucky that there have been so many
great movies made before Netflix.
For example, can you imagine like The Godfather?
It's like, oh, there's a horse's head in my bed.
How did it get there?
Not really quotable.
No, not as much.
Not as much.
I, Sam, am playing it again here in Casablanca.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
Oh, they do.
Well, then it would be like, I'm putting the lotion on my skin That'll bring like a third category of actor like you know you have a face for radio so you can have like a face for like movies or you can have a face for Netflix you know Yeah I see what you mean where no one is actually going to look at you. Yeah going to look at you.
It doesn't really matter. I actually would be perfect for that because I have a face that bartenders love to ignore.
Like my whole, I feel like I spend hours every year being like, sir, excuse me, ma'am, excuse me, I just want to, excuse me. So I feel like I could be on one of those shows and people would be like, no idea what was happening, but he told me everything he was doing.
I'm ordering a drink. I'm trying to get vodka soda for for my wife.
Just ordering a drink. Bill, how did Caroline do in our quiz? Two right, one freebie.
She's a winner. Congratulations, Caroline.
Thank you so much. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news.
Josh, this week we learned about the hottest new trend in baby showers instead of doing things like, oh, guessing the baby's gender or bringing presents. Guests are asked to do what? There's so much you could do at a baby shower and it's all kind of deranged.
Deranged? Like all the games where it's like you gotta put baby food in the diaper and people are, ooh, that's it. It's gross.
That's gross. Anyway, can I have a hint, please? Yes, you may have a hint.
We're talking about baby showers and the new trend. So, for example, if you did want to have a game, you could have first person to fill up the vacuum bag wins a Starbucks gift card.
So to have people do chores for you? Yes, to have people do chores for you. According to the New York Times, more and more couples are replacing flashy baby showers with what are called nesting parties, in which your friends come over and do what new parents normally have to do on their own.
Painting the nursery, assembling a crib, realizing their lives
are effectively ruined for the foreseeable future. Hearing that you can get your friends to clean your
apartment for you does make me feel more
ready to have children.
You think so?
Finally, you're ready to do it?
I mean, no, I guess I'm just ready to tell my friends we're going to have children.
I don't think we need the children.
I think we just need a trick.
You can trick them over and you can get like through three or four good cleanings with
like hysterical pregnancies.
You get like some Ikea furniture that needs assembling.
How many chores can you get
if you're just like, we're trying?
I don't want to clean my room.
I don't want to sweep the floor. Coming up, our Bluff the Listener is all about whales, the country, or the animal.
Stay tuned to find out. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis.
We are playing this week with Rachel Koster, Josh Gondelman, and Nagin Farsad. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
Thank you, Bill. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game.
Call 1-888-Wait, Wait to play our game on the air, or check out the pinned post on our Instagram page, at Wait, Wait, NPR. All the info is there.
Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, my name is Greg, and I'm calling from Daytona Beach, home of Embry-Biddle Aeronautical University, where I work.
Oh, and what do you teach there? I teach mathematics. You teach mathematics? Like the math that a pilot needs to know? Well, most of my students are the engineers.
Okay. Alright.
It's not like you teach them how to read a fuel gauge. Zero is bad.
My favorite pilot math is like, we can't tell you exactly when we'll be leaving,
but we are 10th in line for take-off.
Greg, it's
nice to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you
must try to tell truth from fiction.
Bill, what's the topic?
What ails Wales?
There's controversy in Wales.
And it's not just that the Welsh language
is hoarding the world's supply of the letter
Y.
Our panelists are going to tell you about what's going
on in that little section of the United Kingdom. Pick the one who's telling the truth.
You'll win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Sure.
Okay. First, let's hear from Nagin Farsad.
The Welsh are known for their love of the harp. In fact, it's the national instrument.
It was medieval Wales that created something called the Welsh triple harp, which, from what I understand, is three times more harp than the average harp. Point is, the Welsh are unabashed harpies, which is why a scandal erupted at the Wales College of Music when a group of upstart harpists wanted to innovate.
These radical harp apostates started by using gut strings on their harps instead of the traditional plated horsehair. I mean, can you imagine? Then one of the musicians, Kylie Codwallader, decided to lean her harp on her right shoulder instead of her left, like some sort of terrorist.
Things really went off the rails when the musicians released a harp track set to a dubstep beat. Even though dubstep is so 10 years ago, the public was enraged.
Tens of protesters gathered in front of the college. To date, the musicians and the public are at a standstill.
Cadwallader is quoted as saying, I don't know, like, I might just take up guitar. Or however she would have said it.
And that's my approximation of how she would have said that. It was very good, yes.
Okay, a scandal in the harp world, as some people play it on the wrong side. And to a dubstep beat, your next story of controversy in Cardiff comes from Rachel Koster.
Merriment came to a halt on Christmas morning when the champion of a local Welsh food competition was caught cheating. The cheers were deafening when preschool teacher Bethan Hughes broke the 10-minute world record by eating 72 pickled cockles, which are small mollusks that, I'm sorry to say, look like baby birds' heads.
The audience showered Bethan with roses while she took the stage to receive her gift card to Tesco's worth 20 pounds. The celebration was interrupted, however, when the beloved stray tomcat of the town, Mr.
Jellybeans, leapt to the stage and began pawing at Bethan's sleeve.
It was clear something was really wrong, said a police officer. Mr.
Jellybeans does not like drama, so this had to be big. Sure enough, with one tug, a funnel tumbled out from Bethan's sleeve with the shellfish with it.
The audience gasped, and Bethan shrieked, come on guys, no one really likes cockles, which was drowned out by booing. Some people are just plain bad, wept the mayor.
Mr. Jellybeans has been gifted a key to the city.
A cheating scandal at the pickled cockle eating contest. Your last rare Welsh bit comes from
Josh Gondelman. One of the most popular genres in modern literature is romanticcy.
These books
Thank you. Last rare Welsh bit comes from Josh Gondelman.
One of the most popular genres in modern literature is romanticy.
These books combine the traditions of romance and fantasy
to create an entirely new type of nerd.
Many romanticy stories take inspiration from Wales,
and no, they aren't love stories about orcas sinking billionaires' yachts.
That's a separate genre called Romarxism. Romanticy often draws on creatures from Welsh folklore and uses Welsh names for characters.
But scholars and Welsh people are unhappy with this Welsh appropriation. Quote, it can be pretty patronizing, says Dimitro Fimi, who is a professor of fantasy and children's literature and probably not an elf.
It creates an image of the country which isn't realistic. That's not what Wales is.
And that's true. Most Welsh people have never even met a warlock, never mind kissed one.
All right, these are your choices. One of these things happened in the ancient and storied kingdom of Wales.
Was it from Nagin, a scandal when some harpists played dubstep music on their traditional Welsh harps, from Rachel, the winner of the pickled cockles eating contest, found to be a cheater, or from Josh, that experts on Welsh culture complaining that all of these fantasy romance novels are doing whales dirty. Which of these is the real story of Trouble in Wales? The last one I think is, sounds the most believable, and I don't hear any audience, I guess the audiences don't only help the job people, right? They're really hanging you out to dry.
They decided collectively, 600 600 people he gets nothing so i'll go i'll go with the last one so we're gonna go then the that was josh's story now to bring you the correct answer we spoke to a reporter who covered this scandal it's about making that distinction that the people in the historic stories aren't fairies and are Welsh. Yes, that was
Kofina Aitken,
a journalist
in the BBC World News who reported
on the fairy fact-checking going on
in Wales. Congratulations, Greg, you got it
right. You earned a point for Josh.
You've won our prize, the voice of anyone you may
choose on your voicemail. Thank you so much
for playing with us today. Take care.
Thank you. Bye-bye.
And now the game we call Not My Job. Josh Gad keeps getting famous over and over again, but for different things.
He became famous to many people when he starred in the original production of Book of Mormon on Broadway. Then again, he became famous to more people when he played Olaf the Snowman in the Frozen movies.
And then again as LeFou in the live-action Disney Beauty and the Beast.
So we assume he's going to become famous all over again as an author.
Because his new memoir is In Gad We Trust.
It's out now.
Josh Gad, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much for having me.
It's a pleasure to have you. And congratulations on the book, which I devoured this week.
Was it a little intimidating to write a memoir at the age of 43? Well, it was. Just sitting there and typing all the words was intimidating, because I had to come up.
Yeah. And, you know, as it started to expand, it just felt like, okay, this may be a story worth
telling. And then a publisher paid me and I was like, okay, it is.
Yeah, that'll do it.
Now, you answered a question in the book that I often ask to people like you who've done a lot
of different things. And that's why I answered it Thank you This conversation Let's just save time Peter just read the damn book The question I often ask people like you who've done so many different things is what are you most recognized for? And you say in the book That you wish you had used a different voice for Olaf the snowman, because whenever you're talking in public,
children hear you and go insane.
Yeah, it was a stupid decision.
I will get recognized in, like, grocery stores
just being like, hi, is the milk over there?
It can be something as innocuous as that.
And all of a sudden, three children will just give me an exorcist there.
So I regret that now uh but at the same time i'm grateful that so many people uh love the voice of of olav which is me the other thing that i'm weirdly recognized for is bear claw from new girl which makes no sense there you go yeah go. Yeah.
Okay. There's some people.
So I myself have never watched the show. Why is that surprising? Who is bear claw? That's my question as well.
Um, I, I did two episodes of that show. And what's so funny is people went nuts for bear claw.
He was guy who like behind after jess played by zoe deschanel and i was actually with uh zoe's real life husband jonathan yesterday and he looked at me and he goes bear claw and jess should have ended up together which is a very weird take yeah from, yeah. Yeah, there's like a small community, including her own husband, who just really loved Bearclaw.
Wow. Can I ask a question about Olaf? Yes.
So I have a six-year-old daughter, so your voice is like in my apartment all the time and i you're great this feels like less of a question and more like a threat like what kind of relationship do you have with the parents of the children that go nuts well uh one that's very volatile like whatever like this thing that's happening happening right now You know what's funny is I've now been on the other side of it Where like my girls are obsessed with Wicked right now And I'm having to listen to Ariana Grande's popular Over and over and over again Or Cynthia Erivo's song So I I'm with you. I'm struggling, and I know these people.
And so I'm texting them, and I'm like, can we please just put a moratorium on this? It's a great job, but I can no longer listen to these songs on a loop. Wow.
I like a Twilight Zone episode thing
Man, it took so much empathy for you to give that detailed answer instead of just saying as I would have Nagin Let it go He has more dignity than that, Josh.
He has more dignity than that.
He's the superior Josh G.
You did tell the story in the book of one person who did not recognize you, which was the director David O. Russell.
Oh, God, yeah. So David O.
Russell, this is such a crazy story. David O.
Russell, brilliant director um we were at the same mommy and me program because we're both mommies and we were we were outside and it was after he had just been nominated for one of the many films he was nominated for and he looks at me and and i said, congratulations on your nomination. And he goes, oh, thank you.
What do you do? And I said, oh, I'm an actor. And he says, well, what do you do? What do you act? And I said, oh, well, you know, your ear, I do this, I do that.
He didn't recognize any of them. And I said, you know, your kid may know me from something called frozen and he goes what's that
Animated movie that sort of you know everywhere
And he goes oh what are you doing it and I said I'm a snowman
Do it in it? And I said, I'm a snowman. And he goes, do it.
He said, what? He said, do it. And I said, do the snowman? He goes, yeah.
And I looked at him, this Academy Award winning director and I said hi'm Olaf. And he looked at me and he goes,
huh. And I have not been in a David O.
Russell film. Really? There you go.
Yeah. Should have done a song, dude.
That would have done it. But then afterwards, he goes, oh, you're Bearclaw.
Game over. Yeah, amazing.
Well, Josh Gad, it is a pleasure to talk to you after seeing you do so many amazing things over the years. But we have asked you here to play a game we're calling Josh Gad Meet Posh Lads.
So we've decided to ask you about Posh Lads, those fancy boys produced by British universities and boarding schools. Bill, who is Josh playing for? Larry Anderson of Denver, Colorado.
All right. Here we go.
Here's your first question. In 1805, Ph lad and poet Lord Byron attended Cambridge University, but Cambridge wouldn't let him bring his dog with him as dogs were banned.
So Lord Byron, that scamp did what? Was it A, he kept a bear in his dorm room instead because nothing in the rules said he couldn't do that. B, he built a doghouse 50 feet away, just off school grounds, with a tunnel connecting it to his room.
Or C, he submitted a fake application that got his dog hired as a professor. I think it's the bear thing, because that's just crazy to come up with.
Well, you think it's the bear? Well, you're right. It was the bear.
Yeah, he used to walk around. He used to walk the bear around campus on a chain.
All right, Josh, your next question.
The famously elite Eton College has a longstanding tradition called the Eton Wall Game. It's a sort of combination of soccer and rugby, and it's played against this big brick wall.
Yes, I've played it. You have? No, I lied to you.
I understand. There's an annual game
between the fanciest King
of Scotland. No, I lied to you.
I understand. There's an annual game between the fanciest King scholars and the rest of the school.
It's a big deal. Even though which of these is true? A, the last time anyone scored a goal in the game was in 1909.
B, the wall completely encloses the playing field so none of the spectators can actually see anything. Or C, the game is played with a 95-year-old ball that deflates if you kick it.
I'm going to go with C. You're going to go with C that is played with a 95-year-old ball.
No, the answer is actually A, no one has scored a goal in this game for more than 100 years. Here's your last question.
If you get this, you win. Here we go.
Eon was founded in the year 1440, so obviously a lot has changed over the years. For example, in the 17th century, what was a rule imposed on all Etonians? A, before exams, the headmaster inspected each boy to ensure his upper lip was sufficiently stiff.
B, students were forbidden from even learning the cleaning staff's first names. Or C, for their health, all students were required to smoke before breakfast.
I'm thinking it's B. Wait, what is your audience screaming? The audience is screaming C.
The audience is screaming C. Alright,.
Well, my friend in Denver, if the audience gets this wrong, it's on them, not me. C.
You're all right. It was C.
Yes! We did it! They smoked tobacco. They were forced to smoke tobacco for their health.
It probably protected them. Oh, I love you guys.
Thank you for bailing me out. Bill, how did Josh Gad do in our quiz?
Well, how can you get a bigger winner?
Congratulations, Josh.
I don't know.
Josh Gad's
new memoir is in
Gad. We trust Josh Gad.
Thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
What a joy to talk to you. and what a pleasure to talk to you.
Stay safe, and I'll talk to you soon. Take care.
Wonderful.
In just a minute, some advice for you psychopaths who still have your Christmas trees up.
That's in our listener limerick challenge.
Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air.
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See mattressfirm.com or store for details. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz.
I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Josh Gondelman, Rachel Koster, and Nagin Farsad.
And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill.
In just a minute, Bill annexes Raimia in our listener Limerick Challenge game.
If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
Right now, panel, though, some more questions for you from the week's news. Nagin, this week, Kia, car company, recalled over 20,000 EVs because the seats may not be securely fastened to the chassis.
They looked into the problem and they blame it on what?
Okay, the seats may not be securely fastened to the chassis. They looked into the problem, and they blame it on what? Okay, the seats are not connected to the chassis, which I'm imagining is the main car.
Main car, yes. Sorry for using technical automotive industry term.
And so why is it not fastened? Yeah, they tried to figure out, like, not... They had to check 20,000 cars to make sure the bolts were fastened.
Of course, they wanted to see how this problem arose.
That one guy, Ron, didn't put in. That's it! No! It was one guy.
I was joking. I know you were.
And yet, and this is, I think, the sign of the times we live in, you stumbled on the truth. They determined that it was one guy at one factory who forgot
to tighten the bolts, right? So the Kia EV9 is an all-new electric SUV that the company promised
would make electric vehicles exciting again. And guess what? They were right.
And it's got
three rows of seats, two of which are supposed to be removable, but not if you just stop suddenly. And so some cars were found with these loose seat bolts, and the problem was traced to this one worker in one factory who didn't tighten them.
They found him by asking everybody who worked in that factory, lefty Lucy, righty what? Not to brag, but I believe I could be that guy. Really? Me too.
I used to be a barista, and we found out that somebody wasn't cleaning the espresso machine at the end of the day. Somebody? And it turned out that it was me, and I just had no idea that that was part of my job.
Because the person who taught me was getting paid $14 an hour, so it wasn't
really in her best interest to go above and beyond.
And I never really asked, so
people were getting really scudsy espressos
for, like, months. My bad.
But also, did anyone tell
Ron that thing about how a chair is
supposed to be on a thing called a chassis?
Possibly. Maybe because he didn't know
the word. On the other hand, I mean, he could have
discovered a great new thing in cars. I mean, sure, maybe the chairs should move wherever you want them.
I love an open concept Kia. Rachel, if you're a frequent flyer, you have to be careful because according to the New York Times, airlines aren't just tracking where you fly and how often.
They're also tracking what? The snacks that you get on the plane. That would be a good guess.
No, they're tracking something else you do on the plane. How many times do you go to the bathroom? Yeah, and if you do it too many times, they throw you out.
How much you talk. No.
How much you cry. If you need a blanket.
What do people do, especially on the ones with the screens and the seat backs now? What do they do? Sleep. Sorry, sorry.
What's the answer? It's so obvious to everyone else. Like watching the screen? Watching movies.
Yes, watching movies, Rachel. Yes, the airlines apparently are keeping data on what all of us are watching on our little entertainment centers.
Airlines know everything about what you're watching.
They know what you like to watch, when you paused it, how fast you press skip,
when the characters start disrobing and there are kids behind you.
So now, like, your profile on, like, the United app is like,
TSA pre-check number, prefers aisle seats, and watched four hours of MILF Manor.
Seat alone when possible. For me, they know to put me between two tennis stars I watched challenges maybe 14 times on the way here.
It's a two-hour flight. I went really fast This isn't fair.
Everybody knows that what you watch on airplanes doesn't count.
It's like doing a crime in international
waters, right? I may
have watched all of Young Sheldon twice, but since
I was in the sky, no
crime was committed.
I love that you brought
this up. It's wild to me that international
waters, anything goes. International air,
so many rules. Oh, it's true.
You can't even bring a gun anymore. God.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT.
That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, or you can catch us on the road.
We will be at the Altria Theater in Richmond, Virginia on February 13th. For tickets and information, go to nprpresents.org.
Also, check out our sister podcast, How to Do Everything. This week, Mike and Ian tell you what you should absolutely not name your baby.
Hi, everyone. Wait, wait.
Don't tell me. Hi, Peter.
This is David Safford calling as a student at Baldwin Wallace University in Berea, Ohio. Tell me about Baldwin Wallace University.
It's very small. It's mostly a music conservatory.
I'm going there for a music education. It's a cute little place, nice little town, cool people.
Music education. Are you a musician? What kind of music do you play? Yeah, I've been playing the viola for a good chunk of my life, and I also play the piano.
Okay, cool. Well, David, welcome to the show.
Bill Curtis is going to read for you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly into the limericks, you will be a winner.
Ready to play? Absolutely. Here's your First Limerick.
Since the 70s, I have much flair. No barber put me in their chair.
It has been 50 years since I've faced any shears. Now I celebrate 10 foot long hair.
Hair, yes. A man named Andy Chertow threw a party last month to celebrate 50 years since his last haircut.
They knew it had been 50 years because they cut off a hunk of it and just counted the rings. He cut his hair the last time before an office Christmas party in 1974, and after that he decided to grow his hair out, and now he has 10-foot-long dreadlocks.
And I know you're wondering, is he white? Of course he is.
Post says his hair, his dreadlocks are so long that he cannot walk without picking them up and stuffing them in his pocket.
Big pockets.
Oh, you can fit all that hair in one pocket and that's not that much hair.
Whoa, is that 50 years of coiled hair in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Honestly, if you're close enough to ask that question probably both yeah it's like it's like the version of rapunzel where the prince is like yeah no thanks gonna stay down here here is your next limerick though they seem like a pine flavored treat leave your leave your Christmas trees out in the street. If you value your life, put away fork and knife, because your tree is too toxic to...
Eat? Eat, yes. Officials in Belgium are pleading with their Belgian residents to refrain from discarding their Christmas trees by eating them.
Instead, they're asking everyone to dispose of them properly by throwing the tree to the curb
and watching as someone trips on it while looking at their phone.
The warning came after the city of Ghent
suggested reducing holiday waste by using all Christmas trees
for pine needle spruce butter,
which, to their credit, is great on Roast Elf.
You're spreading more rumors about whales.
The Welsh scientists are going to get so mad at you. You've gone full circle.
Yeah, I really have. All right, here's your last limer.
When my texting tool rings, I just bawl. So I'll go to this big lecture hall.
There, I'll conquer my fear, hold it up to my ear. I take classes in making a...
All? A call, yes. A college in England is teaching students how to make phone calls.
This is in response to Gen Z's infamous tech, you know, phone phobia. They don't want to call people.
It improves students, quote, phone confidence and etiquette. It's the only course in the world where the midterm is leaving a voicemail.
And the final is spending 20 whole minutes talking to your mother without also scrolling Instagram. Are they teaching pranks too? I feel like that.
Phone pranks? Yeah. Teach kids that refrigerators are running.
Yeah. And to ask about it so they can look out for their fellow man.
Or how to make a Chinese order, pretending that you're like British or something so it's not so scary. Wait, is that something, Rachel? That was what I did when I was a little kid.
Wait a minute, what did you do? You were put on the phone to make a Chinese order when you were a child? When I would order Chinese food as a child, I would pretend that I was British because it made it less scary because when I'm me, it's vulnerable. When I'm British, I'm glamorous.
And no one's going to say no to me about Mushu pork. Can you give us a sample of what that sounded like when you, small childlike, Rachel K, would call up and order Chinese food in a British accent.
Hello. I'm 30 years old.
And I would love to get mapo tofu. Definitely.
Always start an order with your age. Darling, extra cookies for my daughter.
Did you say that you were 30? Obviously the oldest age you could
think of at the time.
It helps. Because you were like they would
never say no to an adult woman.
Yes.
Bill, how did David do in our quiz?
David's now the king of Marais.
He won them all three in a row.
Congratulations. Yay.
This is the greatest day of my life. He won them all three in a row.
Congratulations.
Yay. This is the greatest day of my life.
Thank you so much for playing. Take care.
Thanks for having me. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Can you hear me? Support for this podcast and the following message come from Ameriprise Financial. Chief Economist Russell Price shares how market research can help investors.
Our research is focused on explaining economic or financial market behavior so that the investor feels more confident with the well-designed investment portfolio and personalized financial advice. For more information and important disclosures, visit ameriprise.com slash advice.
Ameriprise Financial cannot guarantee future financial results. Securities offered by Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC, member FINRA, and SIPC.
This message comes from Amazon Health. Have you ever gotten sick on a very expensive, very non-refundable family trip? Amazon One Medical has 24-7 virtual care, so you can get help no matter where you are.
And with Amazon Pharmacy, your meds can get delivered right to your hotel fast. It's kind of like the room service of medical care.
Thanks to Amazon, healthcare just got less painful. Now it is time for our final game, Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank.
Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is now worth two points.
Bill, can you give us the scores? McGee and Rachel each have two. Josh has three.
So, in the game, we're going to pick you to go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question.
Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, mandatory evacuation orders hit L.A.
as multiple blanks burned across the area. Wildfires.
Right. On Tuesday, the first U.S.
death from blank flu was reported in Louisiana. Avian bird flu.
Right. This week, the White House announced a $500 million aid package for blank.
Ukraine. Right.
On Monday, the Surgeon General called for cancer warnings to
be added to blank. Alcohol.
Right. This week, a woman trying to text her drug dealer put in the
wrong number and accidentally texted blank. Her mom.
No, a narcotics officer on Thursday.
The WWE announced its live debut on blank drew 2.6 million viewers. Netflix? Right.
On Monday,
fast food giant blank announced changes to its menu.
Arby's? Arby's?
No.
This week, a good Samaritan in St. Louis
helped a man dig his car out of the snow
and then blanked. Bought him
some Arby's. No, then stole
the car, according to the victim.
The thief spent a few minutes getting the car
unstuck from the snow and then pulled a gun and demanded
the keys. And if that weren't bad enough, he then helped someone shovel their driveway and immediately moved into their house.
Bill, how did Nagin do on our quiz? Five right, ten more points, seven to twelve, puts you in the lead. All right.
Twelve's the number to beat, guys. All right, Rachel, you're up next, fill in the blank.
On Thursday, President Biden delivered a eulogy at the funeral. A former president blank.
Jimmy Carter. Right.
On Monday, Donald Trump said he wanted to put his entire legislative agenda in one massive blank. Country.
No. One massive bill.
On Tuesday, federal prosecutors said they had uncovered additional alleged criminal conduct by New York Mayor blank. Adams.
Right. In response to the strained health care system in his town, the mayor of Belcastro, Italy, has blanked.
Past. I guess that would be a reaction in a lack of health care, simply to die.
But in this case, what he did was he banned residents from getting sick. According to new research, drinking blank in the morning can reduce risk of cardiovascular disease.
Coffee. Right.
On Sunday, Shogun and Hax were the big winners at this year's Blank Awards. Golden Globes.
Right. This week, a man complained that he missed his flight home from Arizona thanks to blank.
Storm. No, thanks to the driverless taxi he got stuck in, which was just driving in circles around the airport parking lot.
Oh, my God.
Couldn't get out, couldn't get on his flight.
Come on, man, everybody knows you need to arrive at the airport
at least two hours before your flight,
plus an additional eight hours for your driverless taxi
to run out of gas so you can escape.
Bill, how did Rachel do on our quiz?
Very good for a rookie, four right.
Eight more points. The total of ten is still trailing by two.
All right. So how many, then, does Josh Goldman need to win? Five big ones to win.
Here we go, Josh. This is for the game.
On Tuesday, Meta announced it would no longer be blanking posts on Instagram and Facebook. Fact-checking.
Right. On Monday, Canadian Prime Minister Blank announced he was resigning.
Justin Trudeau. Right.
After the Supreme Court refused to issue a stay, Blank was sentenced for his conviction in a hush money case on Friday. Donald Trump.
Right. California Highway Patrol officers who pulled over a Rolls Royce for speeding found Blank inside.
Uh, nobody. No, they found five cell phones, four bins of marijuana, and a riding shotgun, a baby spider monkey wearing a onesie.
That was my next guess. On Monday, a Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist at the Washington Post resigned from the paper because they refused to publish a cartoon critical of blank.
Billionaires, like Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos and other billionaires, yes.
On Tuesday, Peter Yarrow, one-third of the folk group blank, passed away at the age of 86. Peter, Paul, and Mary.
Right. This week, 17-year-old Luke Littler became the world darts champion, overcoming the fact that he cannot legally blank.
Play darts in bars. No, he cannot legally buy darts in the United Kingdom.
There's a law in the UK banning the sale of dangerous weapons like knives, swords, and even darts to anyone under 18, and the new world champion doesn't turn 18 for two more weeks. But if it's really a problem, he could just fly to America, buy any gun he likes, and then hold up a dart shot.
Bill, did Josh do well enough to win? Well, he got five right, ten more points. You put all his points together, he has 13, which is a win.
There you go. I was worried.
I was worried you were going to put them together. I know.
They're all just lying there. Congratulations, Josh.
In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict after congestion pricing, what's the next previously free thing that New Yorkers will have to pay for? But first, let me tell you that... Wait, wait, don't tell him.
He's a production of of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord.
Philip Kotika writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman.
Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Lederman composed our theme.
Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson and Monica Hickey.
Peter Gwynn has not been seen
since he left here in a Rolls Royce with a spider monkey. Emma Choi is our vibe curator.
Technical directions from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller.
Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chillog and the executive producer.
Up way, way, don't tell me is Mr. Michael Danforth.
Now panel, what will New Yorkers have to pay for next? The Geen Farsad. They'll have to pay for rat sightings
And the toll is a slice of pizza forth. Now, panel, what will New Yorkers have to pay for next? The Gein Farsad.
They'll have to pay for
rat sightings, and
the toll is a slice of pizza
paid directly to each rat.
Rachel
Koster. In order to watch the
YouTube video of the subway taker
next to you's phone, you'll have to
give them a fiver.
And Josh Gondelman. Brooklyn residents
will be forced to shell out $11 just
to elbow their friend, point across
the street, and whisper, I think that's Ethan Thank you. give them a fiver.
And Josh Gondelman. Brooklyn residents will be forced to shell out 11 bucks
just to elbow their friend, point across
the street, and whisper, I think that's Ethan
Hawk.
Well, if any of that happens, we're going to
ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you so much, Bill Curtis. Thanks to
Nagin Farsad and Josh Gondelman, and for
making a great day to you, Miss Rachel
Foster. Thanks to our fabulous
audience here at the Scudebaker Theatre, and to all of you wherever you might be listening, I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week.
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