228. Do You Have Any of These Beige Flags?

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To be loved, we need to belong.

Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things.

I'm already giggling.

We are going to discuss today with you, our beloved pod squad, the phenomenon, the trend

of beige flags

in relationships.

Now,

the idea of beige flags is something that has gained momentum on the TikTok

probably

nine months ago since we have now heard of it.

It is now a past tense trend.

Right, right.

It was a trend.

The idea of a beige flag is you're in a relationship whether it's a friendship i think we're mostly discussing romantic relationships today

and you're watching the other person you're monitoring you're observing you're getting to know this other person

sometimes there are red flags okay so a red flag might be if like your partner is shady mick shaderton like taking phone calls in the other room, doing, you know, problematic things, red flags.

Green flags are things you're noticing your person is doing that are lovely and signal like this person might be great in a relationship, thoughtful things, green flags, go, go, go.

And then there are beige flags.

My idea of a beige, and then

I can see sister's face and what I think she's bursting at the seams to do.

My guess would be that she's about to ruin beige flags for us by giving us the historical context

of beige flags, which would be Sissy's beige flag.

She knows everything.

For the feelers out there, in the New York Times article, they described it as a beige flag is simply something that would cause someone to take a three-second pause and then continue the relationship.

It's just a weird thing, a unique thing.

Sissy, where did this idea of beige flags come from?

Well, so I first heard it when we were talking to Logan Uri in episode 219, where she was talking about it specifically in the context of online dating profiles.

And apparently that is in 2022.

This woman, Caitlin Macphail, on TikTok, she invented this term beige flags.

The original definition was

when people lean into specifically online dating profiles, these generic things that are like, I like petting puppies.

I like working out.

It's this kind of thing that it doesn't offer any special information about the person.

It's boring.

It's boring, but it's, I feel like boring.

Plenty of people are authentically boring.

And I feel like that's great.

Own your boring.

But for me, it kind of feels like it's like a mealy.

You know, like a mealy apple.

You might not like apples,

but either be an apple or don't be an apple, but don't be a mealy soft apple.

I kind of see beig flags as a little bit like

not,

there's no meaning to it.

It's just like weird, quirky things that people do that maybe you've done your whole life that make you them you, but like there's no like additive or negative value.

to it.

But it didn't start that way.

It started specifically as not quirky not interesting not idiosyncratic it started as people trying to be as unobjectionable in their dating profiles as possible so if you listen to episode 219 what logan's saying is you actually aren't trying to be everything for everyone you are trying to just be the thing for the person who's supposed to be with you so pleasing everyone fails everyone, including yourself, because you're actually trying to weed people out by being your quirky self.

So that's how beige flag started in 2022 was just this mealy ass boring thing.

And then people kind of, you know, took the flag and ran with it and made it into that.

It's not the thing that most attracts me about the person.

It's not the thing that repels me from the person.

It's the thing that I just go,

you do that thing.

And I can't really tell whether I should be

compelled or repelled by that.

It's just a real, it's a real interesting thing.

Well, I like this definition better because the first one is just kind of like, I don't know, boring.

Okay, here we go.

Beige flags.

We like to offer ourselves up first.

So Abby and I did sit this meeting and try to figure out beige flags for each other.

And I will tell you, it's tricky.

It is tricky to

Think of things about your partner or your friends that are not red or green, green, that are not good or bad, that aren't, that you don't love or dislike.

Because you came up with like a ton of things.

And I was like, no, those are red flags.

Yeah.

Okay.

But we did come up with a couple.

And then we have tons for that the that we have gotten from the TikTok.

Yes.

Okay.

We haven't seen them.

So we asked Audrey from our team to go through and find what the TikTok was saying about the beig flags because we wanted to see them for the first time on this to see if they

are funny or make us scared.

I

have one for Abby.

When we were first together and I read her first book for some background to look for red flags.

Okay.

I noticed this weird thing and I thought, this is so weird.

Her editor must be really into like

old-fashioned language.

Because it was almost like every once in a while, you'd be reading a modern story about soccer, and then there'd be like a Victorian word thrown in or something.

And, and it just, and I was like, this editor is so weird.

Like, why didn't they?

Oh, no, no, no.

That's just how Abby talks.

It is as if she has been

in her past life, she was in the, in a Victorian, like, like one of those

lace necks, or maybe you were in a suit.

I don't know.

know but it'll be in the middle of a sentence and and and she'll be like get in the car we have to go with to soccer like go with it will just come out and i'm like did you just say go with like it it's as if when the program was changed to her new life they forgot it was a glitch in the system and there's some old Victorian language.

Yeah, they didn't.

They were like, we still have the Victorian font.

All day I've told you.

And heretofore, you have not listened to me.

Exactly.

I think it might be some sort of like need to feel smarter.

And I think that going into Victorian mode gives me this worldly sense.

I don't know.

It's not

Victorian, and I'm not even sure that's correct.

Oh, we don't know.

We don't know.

We mean a time before now.

Yonder, York.

She sounds like she's from Yonder York.

Okay.

What I would say is that that does not feel like a red flag to me.

It sure as hell doesn't feel like a green flag, but makes me pause and go huh it's quirky yeah it's quirky and cute i have a john uh oh good

good

um john's beige flag is that he deep cleans

every item in hot water and soap before he puts it in the recycling bed

And I just, it is, I just, hmm, because I think to myself, I think, self, this is ostensibly for the environment, but is 16 gallons of hot, potable water to rinse out a yogurt cup really unbalance best for the environment?

I'm going to back John up right now because he knows something that I just learned the other day.

When you put something in the recycling bin, and it is not clean, they throw it in the trash.

Again, I say to you, you're telling me the 16 gallons of hot, drinkable water that people need throughout the universe.

I can't speak to that.

That might be a math on that is correct for the earth.

I'd like to ask the earth, would you rather have this recycled?

Would you rather not waste

water?

Remember when John got all of his shirts dry cleaned and pressed and like starched and all the things in order to donate them?

That was so sweet.

I know.

He's very serious about this.

I like that about John.

I have another beige flag for you.

Okay.

So you have a tendency to like

change your clothes 10, 12 times a day sometimes.

That is true.

And her beige flag, I could actually care less if she changes her clothes that much.

Her beige flag is when she comes in and she asks me,

do I look comfortable?

And I say,

I don't, I don't know if I can answer that.

Like, are you comfortable?

This is a woman who knows herself.

This is an embodied woman.

Do I look like I feel comfortable in my skin?

That's exactly right.

I'm sorry to ask, but do I appear unapologetic?

Oh my God.

My whole life, I'm just trying to get comfortable.

And by the way, I need the pot squad to understand, I'm never going anywhere.

Like I change, and I think 12 might be like four times.

Like four or five times.

Okay, for sure.

That's four more times than I change a day.

Well, and you're probably also going places.

Like you leave the house a lot more than I do.

I, all those changes are just,

I don't know, I'm just trying to make it through the day.

I'm just trying to get comfortable.

I'm a kind of outfit change away from being comfortable in my skin.

If I put on this sweater, this is going to do it.

It's always just a sweat sweater, a sweatshirt, a different tank top, a different shorts.

And if I get confirmation from my wife that I look comfortable, then I am.

Yeah.

That is, that is where her truth is.

Do I have beige?

What are my beige flags?

We did think of one for you this morning.

And that is your

commitment

to saving things as if you experienced the Great Depression yourself.

Okay.

It's

amazing.

I've never known somebody to save like the amount that's at the end of your Parmesan cheese bottle.

And I'm like, oh, she just put it back.

She didn't want to throw it out.

No, no, no.

She was going to use those 10 measly crumbs

on something.

Or when she used to drink wine and we would open up our refrigerator in the morning, an entire wine glass would splash out because she had put a half drink glass of wine into the

door.

Refrigerator.

You know, the door part.

Yeah.

It's very movable.

Or she'll go to like a sporting event and like she'll have cool seats and they will have a buffet of food that she gets.

So she takes food home.

It's like Ross from Friends, how he takes all the stuff from the hotel room.

Do you do that?

Are you like, oh my God, Abby, in her upstairs closet,

next time we go to her house, you're going to go upstairs.

You're going to go to the little closet between her room and Bobby's room.

It's not okay.

All right.

If a whole entire army of smurfs came to her house, they would have enough shampoo and conditioner for a generation because she has so many small bottles.

What are you doing now?

What are you saving it for?

Well, the hotels now are doing like the bigger bottles where you have to squeeze it into your hand.

I'm just bringing it home and sacking it and I've packed it up forever.

I'm set.

Remember when I was moving and I thought you were going to have an intervention with me because you found my drawer of washed out Ziploc bags?

Oh my God.

You were actually so upset about it.

You were so upset.

Washed out Ziploc bags to reuse them.

I mean,

I mean, that's what I'm saying.

I don't know.

I think we may have crossed over to red flag.

No, I mean, look, it's her.

That's what she likes.

Who fucking cares?

It's not her to not.

I care a little bit.

And it's also kind of saving the fucking environment.

Like, I actually appreciate it.

I got to make up for all that water that my husband uses.

I want to be the kind of person.

In some ways that like wants to feel like I should wash out the Ziploc bags.

I'll tell you what, it saves a lot of money when, you know, speaking of trends, you're like, oh, now we're doing high-rise jeans.

So now, well, don't worry, because I still have my jeans from 23 years ago.

I'll just put them back on.

That's not true.

That is the truest thing that you've said.

You will look so trendy, but your jeans are from eighth grade.

This is true.

I did literally wear an outfit the other day.

That was from 11th grade.

No, she wore a dress

somewhere a couple years ago.

And I saw the picture.

I thought that dress is so pretty.

And she said,

it was my ninth grade homecoming dress.

What?

She's moved 20 times.

How many storage units do you have?

Oh, don't get us started on storage units.

Also, I don't have any storage units.

But you used to.

Oh, you have an attic medicine.

And before everyone who's gotten divorced has had a storage unit.

Right, right.

That's for sure.

It's a bit of a metaphor.

This is not the episode where we try to get to the the root of this.

So I'm just going to

ask you what's happening with my hoarding cycle.

Right.

Can we, maybe we should do an episode about like relationship to stuff

and where it comes from.

Yeah.

And I, and I don't want to say hoarding because hoarding is like an actual psychological issue, but there is something that's just below hoarding, which is what I do, which is just holding very tight to items.

Yeah.

I feel like I have the opposite problem.

Same.

I'm like, I just like new things.

And then which is why it's a problem.

I get all your old things.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's usually one of the happy.

I'm like enabling your issue and you're also enabling mine.

Yeah.

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Okay, let's hear from from these lovely TikTokers about their beige flags.

Here we go.

This is from at emily.mt underscore.

They say, My wife's beige flag is that she's absolutely petrified of bugs, but she also won't let me kill them.

So whenever one gets in the house, I have to chase it around with a cup and a piece of paper to try to capture and release it.

But she also makes me take it at least 500 feet from the house.

So I end up sprinting down the street with the captured bug while fighting the feeling that it escaped and is crawling all over me.

I

love Emily.

What wife that person is.

I get that.

I feel like these are green flags on both their parts.

Green and green and green.

They are living correctly to me.

Yeah, I always feel so bad when I kill the spider.

Well, you shouldn't do that.

But I'm so scared.

How do you overcome the scare?

The fear with a piece of paper?

Tell sister why there's so many paper towels on our front porch.

Jesus.

I go outside and like some days like the water, the sprinklers will go off.

So like now this piece of paper is totally eroded into like a mushy pile of ugh.

Well, anytime I go out there, I know that Glennon has found some sort of insect, gotten it, and then just opened the front door and thrown the paper towel outside.

Because I will not kill it.

I don't, I will not kill.

I will not kill.

But I also, it can't be responsible.

I can't, I have to get it out of my hand as quickly as possible.

Right.

Okay.

So you take a paper towel, I open sort of, I capture it around your hand in the paper towel, and then you eject the paper towel from the house.

Yeah, which is, which was, which I guess is just littering again.

Yeah.

I'm saving a life, but kind of.

I know, but it's like this funny game that you and the spider have.

I think the 500 feet away from the house is the right move because the spider is like, oh, I was here last week.

And then it crawls back into the house.

And then she does this whole charade like the next week.

Yeah, I haven't gotten brave enough for what this person says.

I haven't done the sprinting and screaming and going 500 feet.

That's going to be an amazing visual.

It's just Glenn and Doyle

running down the street with a freaking paper towel filled.

Yeah, Emily, the next time this happens, can you please record running down the street?

Because I think that that's what we deserve to see.

We really do.

All right.

Okay, this next one is at...

Katie Capelli.

And they say my husband's beige flag is that he waits until the last possible second to use his windshield labors when it starts to rain.

He will let the entire windshield cover with droplets until it's almost fully covered and then manually turn the mopper on.

This continues for the full ride.

I think I know why.

Because it's so satisfying.

You know, when it's like a bunch of water and then it goes swoosh all at once and a bunch goes off at what at the same time.

It's so satisfying.

I don't know about that.

I like to be able to see through the window.

Well, yeah.

100% of the time.

Yeah.

Is it sort of like our obsession abby with beating the gps yeah is it like how few wipes do i need to make it through this maybe ride safely yeah maybe oh i don't know it's got to be scary for the passenger it is oh yeah yeah okay so this is posted by at Kai the Zombie Slayer.

My girlfriend's actual beige flag is that once every month, she'll get a banana for lunch.

And after I've let my guard down, she'll frantically search for her phone, freak out, ask me to call it because she can't find it.

And when I do, she'll pick up the banana instead and be like, yellow.

And I fall for it every time.

I hate banana phone.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Yellow.

Yellow.

That is

such a green flag.

It's gold to me.

Every time.

You keep that one.

That is a keeper.

That is a keeper who understands the absurdity of like

and she does it once every month.

Yellow?

Yellow?

She goes through

just freaking out.

You just queen her.

You just queen her.

My boyfriend's beige flag is he does this thing where he will randomly lay directly on top of me, completely dead weight, and yell boulder and makes makes me push him off to quote, train me for survival.

He does not move for any reason at all.

The only way out from under the

boulder is to push him off myself.

Oh my gosh, at kaylee.apple.

We love this.

Oh my gosh.

She needs survival.

Last month, Abby laid down on the ground in our kitchen and wouldn't move until I showed her that I could perform CPR on her.

And move me around.

And move her around.

I was just dead weight because if I go down, I think I'm a goner.

I do too.

Yeah, I do too.

I do too.

I'm sorry about that.

I think I'm a goner.

I like to have to prepare her.

I just ordered an AED machine just in case I go down so she has some sort of tool to help

revive me back to life.

I was freaking out even during this simulation.

She's like, I don't know what to do.

I was like, crouched over,

and I'm like, You got to move me, like, put me on my back.

She's like, I can't, you're too heavy.

And I'm like, I am.

So now I'm gonna like, I'm gonna get one of those buttons that she, or like, one of those bracelets, like that, like the 99-year-old, yes.

No, but I told her, I told her, I think I'd be able to do it if I knew this was real.

Because I think I've heard people get superhuman adrenaline.

So I think, I think I could do it if it's real.

Okay, you might want to practice the boulder.

I don't don't know.

All right.

Okay.

Zebecca Murray.

My partner's beige flag is that whenever I lose something and ask if he's seen it, he looks at me quizzically and hesitantly explains that the thing I'm looking for died 40 years ago.

For example,

have you seen my phone?

I don't know why I put it down.

Phone?

Extended pause and worried look.

Phone died 40 years ago.

People are so wonderful.

People are so wonderful.

That's wonderful.

Okay, your turn.

All right, at Kate Austin underscore, my wife's beige flag is that she thinks reels are funny and absolutely refuses to download TikTok.

She constantly shows me videos that were viral on TikTok two months ago, like they're brand new material.

This is literally what our children say to us because we don't watch TikTok.

Literally, we're not doing now.

Kate Austin, inspired by your wife is this episode she's gonna love this episode another beige flag of glennon's is that she um gets a phone number or somebody calls her or texts her but she just doesn't

she doesn't save them no no she doesn't ever i'm telling you she has five people saved in her phone right every other person is just like well can't be known who's calling me yeah and so the amount of times she's like hey can you type this phone number into your phone

so that when i type it in, it comes up?

And she's like, Oh, so that's who it is, and yet still does not go ahead and save that person's name to the phone number attached.

Well, I learned my lesson right now is when I admit to you that for one year,

all right, Laura Parrott Perry, she's probably listening.

I love you, Laura.

Okay,

I

thought

for one year

that I was conversing back and forth with Stacey London.

Okay.

Stacey London.

All right.

Stacey London emails me and says, how are you?

We haven't talked for so long.

And I was like, what do you mean?

We were texting for a year.

No,

I had Laura Perry saved as Stacey London.

So I have been having a friendship with, so both of them.

Anyway, it's very confusing.

That's when I learned my lesson.

You can save with the wrong person, so it's better just to keep it a surprise.

Oh, my gosh.

I

KTH Wang.

My boyfriend's beige flag is that he'll casually tell me the randomest facts throughout the day that aren't even true.

Hey, did you know that the reason ripples on waves exist is because of the sensitivity of water to tectonic movement?

Oh, really?

Ha, that was a lie.

Like, then he'll proceed to laugh to himself, proud that he succeeded to cool me.

It's ridiculous.

Dad used to do that.

Remember when you swore to us that spam was called spam because they used it in the Spanish-American War?

Yeah, yeah.

I think half the things that I think are lies.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Um, okay.

My boyfriend's beige flag is that he sets timers instead of alarms.

It's midnight and he needs to wake up at six.

He'll set a six-hour timer.

Oh my God.

I bet his brain just works differently.

Like he needs to think of it not in terms of time, but in terms of hours.

That makes sense.

Well, just real quick, before before you go to sleep, does everybody here count how many hours before they're going to wake up?

Like how many they're going to get?

Yes.

And then I lay there and, well, that's because you're always going to get like 35 hours.

I lay there and I'm like, if you don't go to sleep now, Doyle, if you don't, oh my God, now it's six and a half.

Oh, now it's five.

Now it's go to bed.

And then I just berate myself.

I get so anxious that then the time keeps going down.

Then I get more anxious.

And that's how I live happily and balanced.

Red flag.

flag.

Yeah.

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Jen Fricker says, my boyfriend's beige flag is that he cannot wait to give a present.

As soon as it's wrapped, he is telling you what it is.

That's where it is next week, and he has the present now.

You're getting it now.

That's me.

Oh, nice.

I can't handle it either.

I can't handle it.

I don't know what that is about.

This is at J

Dubs 22.

My girlfriend's beige flag.

She drinks two, maybe three sips of her iced coffee that she can't start her day without.

Small, medium, large, doesn't matter.

Two to three sips.

And she'll carry it around for two hours.

No additional sips.

85% full.

Why'd we get her venti?

No idea.

Only two, three sips.

She likes the feel of it.

It's tethering her to the earth.

Okay.

It's helping her have gravity.

Yes.

Yep.

At Colin's app for this one is a person after my own heart.

My wife's beige flag is that she keeps tags on everything just in case she wants to return it.

Pillows we bought a year ago still has tags.

Patio furniture, tags still in tags.

Yes.

I feel like it's important to cover yourself.

You never, you don't want to overcommit.

Me too.

A lot of times people will be like, oh my gosh your tag's still on whatever and then i have to pretend that it was an accident and i'll go oh no it's not an accident no i i sometimes i just it feels like such a commitment you know how i return a lot of things yeah i know but like after the second wear isn't it oh no no no no no no no no no no just after the first wear yeah you know when you're like i don't know well we have she's just wearing it you know it's her sixth outfit for the day

she wears for an hour yeah she has to make sure she looks comfortable

i feel this way.

I do the same thing.

If I have a shirt with a stain on it and I put it on, but I like really like the shirt, that I just wear it.

And then the first time someone says, oh, you got a stain, I say, oh,

like I pretended.

Yes.

I do that.

That just happened.

I do that with watches.

I have two watches.

Neither of them have ever worked.

Not one time.

I've never set them.

Never.

I mean, they work.

You just have never set them.

Okay.

Well, isn't that the important part of working?

Is it clock tells the time?

Yeah, but they're automatic watches.

So you actually have to set them every time she's saying they're not broken i'm saying they're not broken and you're saying functionally they are yeah okay

but i still wear them all the time yeah and then when anyone asks me what time it is i look at my watch and go oh

because i can't say i don't use my watch for that

at cassandra palumbo my partner's beige flag is that he doesn't put his phone on silent mode throughout the night because he's scared it means his morning alarm won't go off no matter how many times i tell him or secretly do it and it still goes off, he just won't risk it.

And I have to be consistently woken up all night by all of his notes.

Oh, that's terrible.

That's horrible.

That's an example of maybe not a beig flag because I feel like what beig flags are are they are not objectionable.

Right.

That's objectionable.

It's objectionable.

Yeah, but then you also have sympathy because maybe he has some like major anxiety around things.

But it doesn't mean that it's not objectionable.

Her ass is getting woken up all all night long.

Just test it.

And also, it's verifiable.

Yeah, it's verifiable that that will work.

Yeah, test it on your phone so that he can, for one night, that it will still work and then he'll turn him off.

But I feel like Cassandra, I mean, she's tried a lot of things.

I don't think it's a lack of trying logical explanations that Cassandra's still waking up all night, every night.

This is not about logic.

Okay, my boyfriend's beige flag is that he thinks he's a Waze influencer.

I never

He works it.

There is no cop, he makes notes.

Traffic, he'll confirm it's there.

Stuck in dead stop traffic.

He writes funny notes to everyone else.

He gets really excited when people like his notes.

He got 114 likes on a note the other day.

It was a big deal.

He would rather use a paper map than Apple or Google Maps.

This man is loyal.

Oh,

Anna Redman.

He feels like public service.

Influencer.

Oh, Anna Redmond.

He's like, you know, this is the future.

TikTok influencers be damned.

The Waze influencer is the one of the future.

Get this guy a contract.

Super helpful.

I've always wondered, like, when it shows up, like, still here or whatever.

I'm always like,

who's touching that?

Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you who is.

Anna's boyfriend.

And

apparently you get like preferential treatment or some kind of points.

I just learned about this, and so if you click this, still there, somehow, you know, it's taking you the best, fastest route.

You're tracking, no, no, no, no, but you're somehow you're getting

the equity, the social equity at least.

Okay, something's happening that's good for you.

Oh my God,

that's good stuff.

I love it.

All right, here we go.

This is at Nat Row.

My girlfriend's beige flag is that she laughs so hard at her own jokes like she just invented comedy.

She is is her own entertainment.

This girl will be tearing up by herself non-stop and will end with a, I'm so funny.

Even by just bringing up her beige flag, she will giggle.

Oh, that's sweet.

That's actually lovely.

Yeah.

Enjoying your own company.

Green flag.

I am so funny.

All right.

Get a kick out of me.

Get a real kick out of me.

Okay.

My partner's beige flag.

They refuse to charge their phone until it dies.

5%.

5%.

Just wait until it's dead to plug it in.

Doesn't matter if there's a cord right there.

It's not being charged.

That is good.

That is a beig flag for sure.

Yeah.

And that is by at IRL Fleabag.

Okay, at Dumpling Kingdom, my cat's, my cat.

Oh, we're doing cats now.

My cat's beige flag is that she only stays calm in the car if I meow the national anthem.

I'm so glad this is a cat because when my eyes went down to this one, I didn't see the cat part.

So I thought this was someone's partner that needed to be meowed the national anthem.

So that's what I'm saying.

Okay, whatever you're into,

can you guys try to meow the national anthem?

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow,

meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Meow, meow, meow.

Meow, meow, meow.

Like that.

Meow.

I just couldn't figure it out how to do it.

And he did it so easily.

I would like to look at her up because maybe she does it with a little more gusto.

Yeah.

Oh, wait.

It says that they have a video, if you want to see it on the TikTok,

of her meowing to the tune of the national anthem while their cat sleeps in their lap that has 6.5 million views.

Oh my God.

Oh, God.

All right.

So at Smelly Belly, my husband's beige flag is that every time I'm watching my own show, he will join in and watch an episode, then proceed to call it our show, which means I cannot watch it without him.

I have zero shows that I can watch on my own.

This, Smelly Belly, Bella Muncada, this is upsetting to me.

This feels like a red flag.

Out of all of them, this is what you're picking.

Yes, because he can't just like sit down and...

claim that now it's our show.

Right.

That has to be mutually agreed upon.

Okay.

All right.

Red flag, red flag.

I think it's sweet that he wants to watch all the shows with her.

I don't know if he wants to because he would have done it from the beginning.

Could be a little controlling.

Okay.

All right.

My boyfriend's beige flag is that he hates

the number 11, specifically the fact that six plus five equals 11.

He says that six and five are just too good of numbers to simply equal 11.

And it really bothers him that the number that these two super cool numbers total up to is just 11.

And it's anticlimactic and unsatisfying to him for some reason.

I understand this because I think it's very unsatisfying that Chicago is a city inside of a state called Illinois.

I feel like Illinois should be a city

and Chicago should be a state.

It's wrong.

So I

understand

this and like this dude a lot.

Not a lot of people give that much respect to things like this.

This is from Faith at Not Faith Core.

I can get behind that six and five are cool numbers.

I wonder why 11 is so decidedly objectionable.

Yeah.

I don't know, but you know what?

To me, it feels so satisfying.

Six plus five equals 11.

That's a good, 11 is a good combination of six plus five.

I don't think so.

I I think five is a terrible number.

What?

Six is also like, meh.

I knew I knew people had such a lot.

I'm like the opposite of this guy.

I feel like 11 is wonderful.

How could 11 be consumed by this five and six?

Okay.

All right.

This is amazing.

This one is at Clarify for Me.

My girlfriend's beige flag is she will make absolute messes trying to feed me all of her food.

I'll i'll afraid her to go in the car all of her trust on a plastic fork trying to get it across my console while i'm driving she's tried feeding me meatloafs and red sauce with a spoon across our fresh clean ready to stained bed sheets ice cream

you know that cone's coming at me a million times an hour while we are walking i would say 50 of the shared food is on the floor of my car now

oh she just has an experience and it's so good that she's desperate for her partner to experience it too regardless regardless of how it happens.

That's ice cream.

You know that Cohen's coming at me a million miles an hour while we are walking.

That's good.

All right.

So this is Mike Gottschalk.

My girlfriend's beige flag is that she doesn't know her left and rights, but also has a GPS in her brain.

You could drop her in the Amazon with nothing and she'd find her way out in 30 minutes.

But if you tell her to turn left, she has to take five and make an L-shape with her hands to figure it out.

Oh my gosh.

I mean, I feel like I do that still.

I'm all too.

Okay, left.

Yeah, this is the left side.

An idea I had for an invention

is that I think they should make yoga pants that have an L and an R on the bottom because

the yoga instructors always say, lift your left foot or your right foot, but it's so confusing because I don't know.

I'm not like, that's not automatic.

Left and right are not automatic for me.

I can tell that for most people they are, but it's not automatic.

Takes me a minute.

And also, the teacher's looking at you.

It's a mirror effect.

Yeah, they're opposite.

Yep.

Yeah.

That's confusing.

And also, it's always like, don't be thinking, be in your body, don't be in your brain.

But then they give you a pop quiz every 30 seconds.

You're like, calculate right arm and left leg.

And I'm like, but you just told me specifically I didn't have to be in my brain.

Exactly.

So I do think that that would be good if everyone wants to make that L and R.

Just another.

Remember when I thought that we were all going to get really rich because I had an incredible new idea for an invention of a mirror app

and then I realized that everyone had a camera on their phone.

I was like, I cannot believe this doesn't exist.

Oh, that's good.

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Okay, my fiancé's beige flag is that he doesn't like to eat dinner in silence.

He will Google couples questions or relationships quiz and ask me the most random yet intimate questions in a room full of people as if we're in our own world.

Naya hurt.

That's by Naya.

It's good.

That's really sweet, actually.

Greed flag.

Oh, God.

Cody Ev.

My girlfriend's beige flag is that she announces everything.

Her stomach just growled.

I have to know.

Dinner's ready.

She's telling me.

She has to tell me like it's the most important thing in the world.

She's cold.

She's calling me to let me know.

Her FaceTime calls are just a daily news report.

Oh my God.

I like the news report.

It's so true.

Some people like to tell you everything.

John, another beige flag he has is I'll be like, um,

well, how'd the conversation go?

He'll be like, Okay, well, I said, oh,

and then they said,

and then I said, and then, and then you just repeats,

just repeats the conversation, verbatim.

And I'm like, huh, that's it.

So it's like, basically, you're, you're, you're giving me a transcript then.

So then

really, not a synopsis, like a, like next time, maybe like an executive summary of the conversation, not like, you know, a court reporter.

Because then what has to happen is you really have to decide how that conversation went

based on the full report.

You have to draw the conclusions that you were actually asking for.

Okay.

I just have to say this,

this whole idea,

I think, is going to help me.

People are so absurd and delightful.

Yes.

I mean, it is so fun to think about the quirky, not bad, not good things, that neutral, weird area of, huh?

It's a good place to be with people.

Yeah.

Also, it's a new opportunity.

There's so many things that I've wasted so much time not being pissed about, like six plus five equals 11.

I never thought to have an opinion on that at once.

I have a lot of them about cities and states, if you want to know.

When I did give the first speech to my family about how it's obnoxious that Chicago is not a state, but Illinois, as if anyone's ever heard of that is a state,

you know,

everyone's heard of Chicago.

So, anyway, Abby was looking at me at the table like she's looking at me right now in a little bit of embarrassment and disdain.

And one of my kids goes, Exactly, I have always thought that.

All right, before we close, Pod Squatters, also feel free to call in your beige flags.

Yeah, call in 747-200-5307.

I mean, if nothing else, just to make us laugh a lot.

But we realized last week that we forgot to do Pod Squatters of the Week for a year and a half.

That's our beige.

So we are back with a Pod Squatter of the Week.

After episode 217, where we were talking about our daily delights, Carolyn called in with her daily delight.

So, if you haven't checked out that amazing episode 217, do that for a whole hour of delight.

Great.

This is Carolyn.

I am a suburban mom, and I'm always in the car with my two kids.

They are six and four,

and

they

are so delighted by any car

that is not white, black, gray.

I mean, if they see like a purple car or like a green car, I mean,

I mean, I just, I get like a shout from the back,

pink car.

I mean, it's just, and it's like the delight has like spilled over to me.

So even when I'm like alone in the car and I see a purple car, I'm like,

you know, it's like, I just get so delighted now by all the bright colored cars on the road.

Maybe you'll spot some bright colored cars now while you're driving around.

All right, love love you.

Keep up the good work.

Bye.

So sweet.

I'd like to end with a beige that I think we all have.

Because you and I got in a little debate about this.

I think it's precious that all of us,

if we are in a car and we pass by cows.

Oh my gosh.

Or horses.

We have to say, cows.

Horses.

Okay.

I just say, move.

Okay.

Well, something.

You have to acknowledge the existence of cows.

And Abby told me that's not true.

People go by cows all the time and never.

So this was like a couple of years ago.

So we're in the car.

Then at the time after this conversation debate,

we're passing a herd of cows and we are in a game of silenced chicken.

And I'm like, and I can feel the energy.

She knows how wrong it is that no one's yelling cow.

She knows it.

But she can't,

but she can't say it because then it will make me right.

And so we are, I don't know, a half mile past the cows.

I'm feeling like we broke a law of the, of the universe.

And she goes, cows.

Did you see the cows?

You saw those cows.

God, what the hell is that?

I was like, I don't say that.

That is just not true for me.

And it is true for me.

And now I'm like, cows.

I'm surprised by myself.

It was like so subconscious before.

It's like the color purple thing.

It's like, this is got off if you see a herd of cows and you don't yell moo or cow.

Is it herd of cows?

Yeah.

Gaggle?

It's a herd.

A school of cows?

It's a herd.

A murder of cows?

Do you have a murder of crows?

I know that's weird.

That's really weird.

I feel like of all the animals, really, crows.

I mean, I get like a murder of hippos.

No, crows are scary.

scary yeah they look they're scary they look like they're about to murder they really do they're suspicious as shit

okay

um

we love you pod squad i don't know whether to say you are welcome for this episode or we are sorry

either way we will see you next time bye

If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to us if you'd be willing to take 30 seconds to do each or all of these three things.

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I give you Tish Milton and Brandy Carlisle.

I walked through a fire, I came out the other side.

I chased desire,

I made sure I got what's mine.

And I continue

to believe

that I'm the one for me.

And because I'm mine,

I walk the line.

Cause we're adventurers and heartbreaks on map.

A final destination

lack.

We've stopped asking directions

to places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to be belong.

We'll finally find our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives bring,

we can do a heart pain.

I hit rock bottom, it felt like like a brand new start.

I'm not the problem,

sometimes things fall apart.

And I continue

to believe

the best

people are free.

And it took some time,

but I'm finally fine.

Cause we're adventurers, and heartbreaks are map.

Our final destination

we lack.

We've stopped asking directions

to places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to be known.

We'll finally find our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives

bring,

we can do a hard

game.

We're adventurers and heartbreaks on that.

We might get lost, but we're okay.

That we've stopped asking directions

in some places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to be known.

We'll finally find our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives

bring,

we can do hard

things.

Yeah, we can do hard things.

Yeah, we

can do hard

things.