161. How to Let Go of Perfection this Holiday

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And through the joy and pain

that our lives bring,

we can do hard

things.

Hi, everybody.

Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things during the most

time of the year.

Not necessarily the most wonderful time of the year, just the most time of the year where everything is just ratcheted up a few notches.

Yep.

Right.

So our goal today and our intention is to bring us all together and just ratchet us down.

Oh, ratchet ratchet us down.

Well, sister's not doing a good job at that because she came onto the podcast looking fire today.

You just, your hair is just on point.

And I know I'm not supposed to objectify you.

I think we can talk about our hair.

Sister, you're so beautiful.

You really are.

Okay.

You have a glow.

You have a glow about you.

And I just don't know where it comes from.

Are you pregnant?

Oh,

I would not be glowing if that were the case.

Do you know what I realized this week?

I am always,

I have

blow-dried my hair.

Blow-dry?

Blow-dry?

Who knows what that is?

It's blue-dried or blow-dry.

I blew it to the blind.

The blue part is

the verb.

So you blue-dry your hair.

You're going to

like six times in my life

prior to this week because I just never knew.

That's why in the beginning, remember we do these clips and people would say, why is Amanda's hair always wet in the clips?

And and that's because i would have taken a shower because i if i take a shower my hair is wet because i don't know how to dry it i did it randomly last week because it was freezing outside yeah uh-huh

and it's easy it makes a big difference i've gone 43 years just thinking it was something impossibly hard that i would never be able to do that only happens at the salon it can it can only happen there yes and speaking of the person who has the most agency I don't know another person who has more agency than you.

This is hysterical.

Yes, she could.

She could make world peace happen.

She could make a blow dryer.

She could make a blow dryer.

She could market a blow dryer.

She could sell a fucking blow dryer.

She just can't use a blow dryer, folks.

Until now.

I'm amazed by it.

It turns out you could just do it.

I always just assumed it would take like an hour.

And I was like, I don't value that outcome at an hour cost to me.

Exactly.

So the ROI doesn't work for me.

but it turns out it can be done in like six minutes.

Totally different ROI.

I'd like to note that I think a little bit we're having opposite revolutions.

Yes, that's correct.

Like I am having a revolution of fuck it with all of the things of, no, really.

Like I'm not, I don't want to wear clothes.

I don't want to do my hair.

I don't, I'm not wearing makeup.

I don't,

I'm just stopping all of that.

And your revolution is a little bit that you're starting all that.

Because if I'm, if I'm not mistaken, and I mean this with great respect, I don't think you showered for like four years.

I think, yes, I think it goes, the bigger truth here is that there is no

free way.

There's no liberated way.

It's just each person's path.

Because I think your

path is attending less to

yourself in the regard of like outer appearances, outer, etc.

Me, I never paid any regard to myself in that way.

And so,

my revolution might be like, oh, you can actually

do the treat for yourself

of occasionally changing out of the clothes you slept in.

Yeah, I think it might have a little bit to do with the time of life that both of you are in in terms of children.

So, right, right, right.

You now have

gone through the time where you don't have small children anymore.

Sister is just now getting out of small children stage where you're just like survival mode for those first many years.

And it's like, do I have time for showering?

No, I don't.

I'm going to go to sleep because I need sleep more than anything else.

I think it's like you're remembering that you are your own person and you're like trying to like feel into that.

And you've gone through that stage because our kids are a little older.

Yeah.

And I love the idea of of everybody's next step is different.

Like we can all be moving forward in our evolution and they can be opposite things.

I remember a decade ago, I was standing in a line at Marshalls.

And if anyone has ever stood in a line at a Marshall's, you know that you age there.

Right.

Yes.

I mean, you spend a year there.

And I was.

Marshalls and Russ dress for less.

Russ, Russ dress for less.

Like when I think of my childhood, it's going to be like mom, dad, you are cats and Marshalls and Ross dress for less.

That's right.

That's right.

We spent so many years in that line.

And I remember

about a decade ago, I was standing in that line and there was a woman in front of me and this dude kind of cut, you know?

And she and I ended up having this conversation.

And this is what we realized.

In that moment, she was trying to work up the nerve to say something to that guy.

Because that was her next step to like get up the fire, to get up the like gumption or moxie or whatever to say something.

I was struggling equally internally.

And I was trying to get the inner piece to not knock that guy out.

Yes.

Her next step was try to be more lion.

And my next step was try to be more lamb.

And we were both both moving in the right direction with opposite outcomes, which is why you can't ever judge what somebody else is doing because their next step might be the absolute opposite of what progress is for yours.

Yes, I'm no linear liberation.

You're finding yourself on the loop that you're in.

The exact same thing happened to me this weekend.

I was out with John eating dinner, and we got almost to the end.

And he goes,

I just cannot believe that you have not said anything about that woman who's over over there on her phone during

and he was like honestly

i have never seen such a thing out of you because usually i'll see something and it will upset me so much and i'm like totally she's so and she's there with her partner and oh my god do you think they have talked to each other do you think they hate each other and i couldn't then i was like well now i can't be annoyed because you pointed out to me but always i would identify every single thing in the world i was to be annoyed about we're hyper vigilant because of lots of things so what do you attribute that to gonna ask.

And were you actually really thinking about that woman the whole time?

And you, oh, no, whoa, whoa, what do you, what is this?

I don't know.

Oh, sissy, I'm happy.

TBD for John.

TBD on this.

Because what happens with our hypervigilance is it ruins that person we're with's experience because they're worried that we're worried about the person on the phone.

Everybody's life is ruined.

Oh my gosh.

And now, so what I'm experiencing a little bit with Glennon now is with some of her therapy she's going through, I'm looking at her less.

I'm less attuned because she is less vigilant.

Like what John was doing is he's looking at you, being like, Oh, when is this going to happen?

When is she going to say something?

What?

This is weird.

Why hasn't she said something?

And so, it's going to take some time for him to unwind from your anxiety or hyper vigilance in the social scenario.

You mean we're not pissed about this?

We're not, oh, we're not pissed about this.

I know, it's amazing.

I feel that way very much right now with you.

I'm like, oh,

I can just be here.

I don't have to be worrying about your experience experience and how I need to, you know, matrix this up for us.

So we're both doing that thing

where we're trying to become less

controlling of our environments so that we can enjoy life and everyone else can who loves us.

So there's one thing that happened with me in therapy yesterday that I wanted to share because I feel like it might help everybody at the holiday season.

Okay.

Great.

So I am in therapy, like pretty intense therapy again, which I'll explain to all of you in January.

I want to give myself a little bit more time, but I have this amazing new therapist who I love very much.

Okay.

Hi, therapist.

So

thank you to all the therapists, by the way.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The first responders of the world.

So I'm in therapy yesterday.

And now my therapist is a genius and a wise, wise woman.

And also she's a little bit like me where she lives on a bit of a different plane.

So she has tried to listen to a couple of our podcasts, but she doesn't know where they are because they're like in the cloud or something.

And so she says to me, can you send me some of your podcasts?

And I say, sure, but obviously I don't know how to send her a podcast.

I don't know where they are.

I don't know where they live.

So

I just ignore that request.

And so yesterday, I get on therapy and she says, so I found one of your podcasts.

I listened and it was great.

And she was very kind about it.

And then she said, I noticed she didn't say this word, but what I'm going to translate to buzzy energy.

I noticed your

energy.

What she was trying to explain to me is that she noticed that a little bit hyper, kind of like

high level energy, anxiety that

is not just pure energy, kind of a little bit like fear-based or something.

I don't know.

Like buzzy, high energy.

Yes.

Yeah.

Like performing maybe energy, anxiety energy, buzzy energy, not calm energy.

And I thought that was interesting.

So we talked about that for a little while.

And then she asked me if I, if I've been noticing that energy again in my life, and I ended up starting to talk about Christmas.

And

I said, you know, this time last holiday was like a huge rock bottom for me and a lot went down.

And so, you know, I mean, the holidays, man, it's it's like everything you love

I don't know it's the most time of the year there's like more reflection there's more distraction there's more grief if you've had grief there's more expectation of joy

it's like forced joy and if you're not feeling joy then you're the worst anyway imperfection yeah and perfection right so She was asking me why I feel all of this buzzy energy, stress, anxiety in the holidays.

And I explained to her that since the family comes to me, that since I'm a mom, I feel like this is my thing to like host and make perfect and make beautiful and make it like the best thing ever.

And yada, every year has to be the best Christmas ever.

I had just said, it has to be like the best thing.

I'm making like this big thing.

And she said,

what if you are the thing?

You are.

And I was like, what?

And she goes, what if on the podcast, like with your family,

when you're on a stage speaking, when you're writing, when you're with your kids getting ready for Christmas, what if you are the thing?

What if you don't have to constantly buzzy, prepare up, perfect?

What if the thing isn't like the perfect presence and the perfect whatever?

And what if in obsessing about creating that thing or you on the podcast, like nailing it, saying the perfect thing, getting all the words out right, making all your points?

What if that's not the thing?

What if just your presence is the thing?

And all of that buzzy energy in perfecting the thing actually means that you're not there at all.

And the thing isn't even there.

Well, that's fascinating.

If that's the case,

then

theoretically that would work.

in an ecosystem where everyone was allowed just to be their thing, right?

Because presumably if you're the thing, then your daughter's the thing, then Abby's the thing.

Everyone's the thing.

And as long as everyone is permitted to be their own thing,

then everyone can just enjoy and be.

Yeah.

And

when you bring extended family, you know, my family comes, our parents come, there's descending on you a whole bunch of other dynamics that

presupposes that

you can just remain being your thing,

even with those

influences present.

So I think part of, if I could take a wild stab in the dark, part of the energy comes from your inherent knowing that what your therapist said is true and your defensiveness of,

I'm not going to let your influence

rattle

the preciousness of this thing.

Yes.

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I think that there has to be a third way.

Because if my anxiety is

you're going to be different, you're going to be different than what?

Like I've created this perfect Christmas or this perfect holiday, which does not include you being you.

It's that thing we get back to on this podcast over and over again, which is the thing that screws us up most is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be.

So, the thing that screws up our holidays is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be.

So, the reason why you, extended family, when you come and you be yourself, and I'm upset,

is because you're not matching what I decided this holiday was going to be.

Yes.

So maybe the gift we give ourselves is just like burning the picture.

And the only thing that I know for sure,

I just feel like the reason that I try so hard to control environments and you try to control the environments

is because we don't feel safe in our own bodies.

Like we create these safe outer things because we don't know how to be safe inside ourselves.

And I don't know exactly what I'm saying.

There has to be a third way where it's like what you're doing with the holiday expectation is like you're holding holidays in the palm of your hand, but you are just making the hardest fist going, everybody needs to be and do.

this holiday perfect

instead of just opening it up and having it all in the palm of your hand going everybody gets to be here and experience this holiday and and we have to make the holiday what it is.

You can't make Christmas what it is.

I think that that's what caused so much suffering last year

is we moved to a new house.

We moved to a new place.

We tried to make it this beautiful, outrageous experience.

We thought we're all going to get along.

Everyone's going to be

perfect.

Everyone's going to, you know.

And then it wasn't.

And everybody is just who they are always, including me.

Yes.

So there has to be room for everybody to be who they are

and everything to be what it is.

And this idea that I can prepare my way to perfection

ruins it for me and for everybody else because what always happens in our family is that then everybody feels my energy of like, I need every this to be perfect.

And then everyone walks on eggshells and I don't want that this holiday.

So what I think

I'm thinking is

I am the thing.

And if I'm going to believe that, then I also have to

also know that you are the thing.

And Chase is the thing.

And Tish is the thing.

And Amma is the thing.

It's dad is the thing.

Mom is the thing.

Craig is the thing.

Abby is the thing.

And all of these things just have to coexist without trying to control or change each other.

It's like,

right?

It's like a sturdiness to me.

Yes.

I think it's a sturdiness because I think

when you grow up

as a matter of survival, you're not sturdy in your own way.

You're adapting to the needs around you.

You are

acclimating and placating.

And then as you grow up,

you

think you're not acting according.

to the dictates of your family of origin, but you actually are because you're acting in direct opposition to them.

That's right.

That's right.

It's like when you say that, you know, rebellion is just as much of a cage

as obedience.

If you're rebelling against that, then you are still not sturdy because you are waving this flag of this is not how we do it.

And this is how we do it.

And I will defend the rights of this family to do it a different way.

But that's not sturdy.

That's not peaceful.

And I think what you're saying is

when you say perfection, you don't mean so the bows are all made of satin and everything is glittery.

I think your idea of perfection is that we can be sturdy in our peace

and our joy throughout this,

regardless of anybody else in this ecosystem and

what they're operating from.

Like that we can let them be them and we can maintain the sturdiness of our own peace And that

is kind of

the goal.

Yeah, I think for like the rest of my life,

I seriously think that this holiday and what I'm working on in therapy and is this new phase of life,

which is

it's so fascinating to me because it, for some reason, like the big metaphors in my books are often about yoga.

And,

you know, in Love Warrior,

the big life metaphor for me was, I can stay in this room no matter what's happening, like this hot yoga.

And I was like, no matter what happens in here, I'm going to stay.

I'm going to stay.

I'm melting, but I'm going to stay on this damn mat.

And that was like,

you know, my 20s and 30s.

And then in Untamed,

it was like the metaphor was, oh,

I can just pick up my mat and leave this room.

I don't have to be in this hot room anymore with these people.

Like the doors aren't even locked.

Yeah.

I can stand up and walk out of here.

I don't have to put up with this shit.

I don't have to, I'm free.

And then I was telling Abby, I was in yoga again a month ago or something.

And I was in this room and there was this.

love bug of an instructor from the East Coast and she just was doing very serious hard things.

And I thought, this is not how we do it here, but okay, it was like very hard.

And so at first I was trying to keep up

and my body was like, no, no, no, no.

So then I was like, okay, I'm just going to leave.

And then I was like, I don't have to leave.

Like, I can stay in this room.

get my experience of yoga, which is just like sit here and breathe.

I don't have to do the things that anyone else is doing here.

I mean, it's a little weird.

It's a little embarrassing to just sit on your mat and not do anything while the East Coast instructor's yelling to do things.

I think it's funny that you're East Coasting, West Coast.

I just felt like the energy of that.

And I sat on my mat and just did nothing and breathed for 20 minutes.

And I didn't have to leave.

And it was a sturdiness.

I had no boundaries and I just was tough at out, do the thing for forever.

And then I was like, oh, I don't have to stay here.

I'm out of here.

And now I'm like, I can stay and be me.

Yeah.

Like that's the next

step.

And that's what I want to do this Christmas because I've walked out of so many things.

I've boundaried myself out of connection

and out of peace because I'm always trying to make myself safe.

I'm always trying to make myself safe from other people, like safe from food, safe from people, safe from dynamic, safe from the past, safe from whatever.

But what if I can be safe where I am?

Is that the final frontier for you?

I think so.

To just be able to be yourself wherever you are.

Yeah, and let other people be themselves wherever I am.

I think it's like

when you grow up like us, it's like,

are they okay?

Are they okay?

And your whole life is oriented towards what do I need to do to make them okay?

Okay, they're okay.

They're okay.

If they're okay, we're okay.

It's okay.

Cause you're not really okay, but that's not the question you're asking yourself.

You're asking, are they okay?

Then you grow up

and then

you're like, am I okay?

You used to police everything you did to make sure they were okay.

Then your second step is you're policing everything they do because you're like, am I okay?

Is this okay with me?

This is not okay.

Now I have like be, that's not okay.

And let me tell you it's not okay.

And we don't do it this way in this house, not so much with your words, but with your energy.

Yes.

Am I okay?

And then the third place is:

I am okay.

Yes.

And it doesn't matter.

I'm going to be okay.

You're going to have to make sure you're okay because I'm not doing that job anymore.

And I'm no longer asking if what you're doing is going to impact if I'm okay.

Yeah.

My job is to be okay.

Yeah.

It's good.

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so

Having said all that.

Thanks for sharing that all.

I know.

Because I think when you say things out loud, it really helps orient

the person you want to be.

And

I've noticed a big shift that's happening in you, and it's beautiful.

Thank you, love.

It affects everything.

It's obviously so seen in the holiday thing, but it is very much

how I do everything.

I show up for work

or the podcast or anything thinking I to deliver the thing.

It's this buzzy energy that always shows up when I think I'm not good enough.

So I have to prepare this self that will show up, which is why,

talk to my therapist about this, which is why I have always been like, I have to quit soon.

It's like that thing that somebody said to me early on in my career in New York, I was supposed to go into this scary meeting with this scary people.

And I said, what am I supposed to do?

What am I supposed to say?

And Whitney said, you just have to go in there and be yourself.

And I said to Whitney, I don't know how much longer I can keep that up.

So this idea of

what if,

oh my God, if I could just go.

I saw my daughter.

Tish

had her first

musical.

She had her first live performance at the Troubadour in Hollywood.

A week before the performance, I was like, okay, so do you want to get your outfit ready?

What are we going to wear?

She looked at me like,

what?

And I was like, I mean, do you want to like go get your outfit ready?

Do you want to blah, blah, blah?

She was like,

no.

She was confused

about the question.

I didn't think about it the morning.

She was like, I'll just decide that morning and I'm probably just going to wear my flannel.

I was like, okay.

I watched this child,

16-year-old girl.

Before the concert, we got to the thing.

I was buzzy energy.

Like, holy shit, how is she going to do this?

Crowd there.

She's 16 years old.

She's never played before on stage.

It's the troubadour.

There's all these other acts because it's this combo thing.

A lot of these other acts are like costumed up.

They are background singers.

There are people.

There are whatever.

Performances.

Tish's energy is just.

You were there, sister.

You were there.

I've never seen anything like it.

No.

Her energy was just the same as it always is.

she was kind of a little bit lighthearted a little bit serious steady steady i was like how is she she was maintaining this energy sturdy she was sturdy as

yes we're all up in this like balcony part looking down she's about to go on we've got chase on face time at college

she steps onto the stage she's wearing her docks her drip jeans, her flannel that she wears every day, every other day.

Her hair is exactly the same as it it is every day.

She doesn't have a touch of makeup on.

She's exactly her.

She stands up there with her guitar and she opens up her mouth and she just

gets spiritually naked on stage.

Her voice is like

shattered crystal.

She's the realest thing I've ever seen on stage.

The realest, most beautiful thing I've ever seen on stage.

And she is exactly who she is when she's on our couch and no one's there.

And then she stepped off stage.

The crowd is going crazy because people lose their minds when they see the truth,

when they are in the presence of presence

and not a performance, but a revelation.

She wasn't performing.

She was revealing herself.

And the crowd went crazy.

We were stunned.

Yeah.

And we went to her after, of course, we were buzzing like nobody's business.

We didn't know what she was until we saw her on stage.

We didn't know.

And she

was

completely steady afterwards.

She wasn't even buzzing afterwards.

We had seen this thing happen that we were so stunned by.

And she was so steady.

She was happy, but she wasn't surprised.

Yeah.

She wasn't surprised.

I said,

aren't you freaking out?

What just happened?

Like, look at them.

The crowd is freaking out.

And she goes, well, that's what I knew.

I knew that was going to happen.

And then she carried on with her day.

And I looked at her and I thought, if I could do life like that,

if I could not lose myself

to do my job,

if I could be the same everywhere and not assign

more importance to any one moment than the other, like just show up and be myself everywhere.

I could do this my whole life.

Well, I guess the question I have is: what do you think the reasons are that you have

carried on this way for so long?

Like, what's the root of it?

Like, what's the truthy truth inside of it?

The worthiness part.

That's it.

It has to be not thinking you're good enough, not really believing that I'm good enough to just show up as me.

But

it's not knowing who me is for so long, too.

Yeah.

And it's the mysterious could it be of this therapy time and this time of my life is what if it is true that I could just show up as me.

And by the way, this is what it's all, you know, change not dressing up to the, not wearing makeup.

Like all of this is part of the experiment.

Sure.

I think it's really interesting that you've raised three children

to look inside of themselves for their worthiness.

And it's something that you're, you've been chasing maybe your whole life.

I think it's really fascinating.

Well, I can look inside myself and what I find is 49 hours of preparation.

I look inside myself.

I just find a lot of hustle.

Anyway, I think it's awesome that

I'm not going to get to Jesus C with

my Christmas talk right now, but one of my favorite

Christmas carols is the whole

prepare him room one.

Let every heart prepare him room.

And nominate y'all sing.

Thank you, Sissy.

And I just

love, I keep thinking about this, all the stories about like they showed up at the inn and there was no room.

They showed up at the doors here, there, and there, and there was no room.

There's no room, there's no room, there's no room.

And

I just

think this holiday about that, and about how, in our preparation

for

perfection, we leave no room for what is.

And we don't leave any room for our own peace.

And we don't leave room for our people to be themselves.

We just like squeeze everybody out of the picture so that we can make this perfect picture of what somebody told us it's supposed to be.

And so I just think this holiday,

maybe we just burn the picture and we just prepare room for it to be what it is.

And if you've had loss this year and you have grief, then you just make room for that.

And if you have had divorce and you have had death and you have had pain and there is room for all of that.

Yeah.

And it's like, you know, the idea of Christmas is that everybody else was looking for this king in all the shiny places, and the joy and the peace and the beauty was in the most unexpected,

dark corner.

So, I think my prediction is that when we leave room for ourselves and our people and what is,

that the magic just comes and we don't have to force it.

That's good.

There's also a cost to that pursuit of perfection that we are very aware of now.

Yeah, yeah, look, yes.

There's a real cost to you, to the experience.

It doesn't make it shinier, it just makes it muddled.

Yeah.

I think that I know more than anyone on this entire planet that having the right therapist to talk to can make a life-changing difference.

That's why I think Alma is so cool.

Alma connects you with real therapists who understand your unique experience.

You can use their directory to search for someone who specializes in the areas that matter most to you, whether that's anxiety, relationships, or anything else.

And what stands out to me about Alma is that 97% of people seeing a therapist through Alma say their therapist made them feel seen and heard.

You know, I love that.

That level of connection isn't something you can get from scrolling through online advice or following social media.

It's about finding someone who truly understands your journey and is dedicated to helping you make progress.

Better with people, better with Alma.

Visit hello alma.com/slash hard things to get started and schedule a free consultation today.

That's hello A L M A dot com slash hard things.

I think that part of especially I would venture to guess a lot of the folks listening to this are

folks like us who have been conscripted into a hustle army and who, if things aren't going well, we think

it's because we're not enough.

And if things are going well,

we think it's because

we are kicking our own asses.

And if we want things to keep going well, we better sure as shit keep kicking our own asses

because

we are making it happen.

And I think the prepare room is a little bit like,

what if not?

What if

we could

have some ease

and have joy?

What if we could

have

these beautiful careers?

and make time to blow dry our hair.

What if we could,

you know,

be

with our parents

and keep our peace?

Yeah.

What if there's room for all of it?

Yeah.

Like, what if it's not our martyrdom

that is making the world go round?

There's a little bit of a Christmas message in that.

There is.

That we are not

our own Messiah.

Yeah.

Or our family's Messiah.

Joy to the world.

There's a different God.

And it is not

us.

Let every heart.

So that is our

holiday message.

And by the way, I'm not just like thinking this.

I'm doing it.

You know, I told the kids everybody's getting like a third of the presents they usually get.

I thank you, baby Jesus, for calling that rule.

That's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Yeah, it's done.

Four gifts per kid.

It's amazing.

That's the best thing you've ever done for our family.

It was like a month ago that I was like, tell us a few things you want.

And then I bought the things and then it's done.

And just so those listening know, there was instant panic, right, on children's faces.

And it has since gone away because they too understand that excessive presence is, in fact, ridiculous.

Well, life is just expectations.

Once you set your expectations, you get on board.

If there's 30 gifts, you're going to wish it was 40.

That's right.

If it's four gifts, you're going to wish it was 10.

It doesn't matter.

Yes, we're just always gonna wish for more.

They refine their gift choices, then they were like, oh, I gotta whittle this down.

I gotta, I gotta prioritize here.

And then they're not spending their entire December just wanting things, yeah, making up wants to have so they can tell me what they are.

I'm gonna put a big bow on my forehead and I'm gonna say, I, my presence is your present.

I am it.

I am it.

You know, you thought presents were the thing, but but my therapist told me, kids, I am the thing.

You are.

You are welcome.

You are.

You are the greatest present to all of us.

You are such a love.

And you are too, sister.

Pod squad, you are too bad.

You are too happy.

You are too baby.

Well, we all know that.

Yeah, that's true.

We are so grateful to you, Pod Squad, for doing life with us.

We actually are going to come back on Thursday.

with beautiful and beautiful holiday stories from you.

And we're gonna celebrate together.

We love you, Pod Squad.

Bye.

I give you Tish Milton and Brandy Carlisle.

I walked through fire.

I came out

the other side.

I chased desire.

I made sure

I got what's mine

And I continue

to believe

That I'm the one for me

And because I'm mine,

I walk the line

Cause we're adventurers and heartbreaks are map map.

A final destination

we lack.

We've stopped asking directions

to places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to be known.

We'll finally find our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives bring,

we can do a hard thing.

I hit rock bottom, it felt like a brand new start.

I'm not the

problem,

sometimes things fall apart.

And I continue to believe

the best

people are free.

And it took some time,

but I'm finally fine.

Cause we're adventurers, and heartbreaks are map.

A final destination we lack.

We've stopped asking directions

to places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to reknown.

We'll finally find our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives

bring,

we can do a hard day.

This world adventures and heartbreaks on that.

We might get lost, but we're okay back.

We've stopped asking directions

in some places they've never been.

And to be loved, we need to be known.

We'll finally find our way back home.

And through the joy and pain

that our lives bring,

we can do hard

things.

Yeah, we can do hard things.

Yeah, we

can do hard

things.

We Can Do Hard Things is produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios.

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