216 - The Ball Is Where the Win Is

Did you know that Nightfall is not just a podcast, it's also books?

That's right.

It's like movies for your ears, but in written word form.

We have four script collections that are fully illustrated with behind-the-scenes intros for every single episode.

And then we have three novels.

The first Welcome to Nightfall novel, in which two women have their lives turned upside down by a mysterious man in a tan jacket.

We reveal the origin of that, the man man in the tan jacket in that one.

Then the New York Times best-selling thriller, It Devours, in which we really try to get to the bottom of a certain smiling god.

Finally, my favorite, The Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home.

Part Pirate Adventure, Part Haunted House, all Faceless Old Woman.

Find the three novels and four script books wherever you get books.

Okay,

enjoy this episode of a podcast.

If you're dying for the next batch of Wednesday Season 2 to drop on Netflix, then I'll let you in on a secret.

The Wednesday Season 2 official Wocast is already here.

Dive deeper into the mysteries of Wednesday with the Ultimate Companion Video podcast.

Join the frightfully funny Caitlin Riley along with her producer, Thing, as she sits down with the cast and crew.

Together, they'll unravel each shocking twist, dissect the dynamics lurking beneath, unearth Adam's family lore, and answer all of your lingering questions.

Guests include Emma Myers, Joy Sunday, Hunter Doohan, Steve Buscemi, Fred Armison, Catherine Zeta Jones, the Joanna Lumley, also show creators Al Goh and Miles Miller, and of course, Wednesday herself, Jenna Ortega, plus many, many more.

With eight delightfully dark episodes to devour, you'll be drawn into the haunting halls of Nevermore Academy deeper than ever before.

But beware, you know where curiosity often leads.

The Wednesday Season 2 official Wocast is available in audio and video on todoom.com or wherever it is you get your podcasts.

1997.

Great hustle out there, girls.

A really good

hustle.

Oh, I already said hustle.

I'm sorry.

First game new at this.

But I hope you'll grow as I grow.

We can all grow together.

And that, I'm pretty sure, is what basketball is all about.

Other than the two items listed in the name.

Some of you might not know me.

Sorry.

I'm Steve Carlsberg, but you can call me Steve.

I mean, Coach Carlsberg.

No, Coach Steve.

Yeah.

I replaced Coach Merrill about five minutes ago.

She looked into the box of infinite despair that we found in the locker room, and that was it for Coach Merrill.

As Bill Russell once said,

look into a box of infinite despair.

And he was right.

Well, that's a good basketball lesson for you all.

Yes, that is the box over there in the corner.

Please don't touch it or anything.

It's got, you know, infinite despair inside.

I'll throw it out after the game.

But don't worry about a little change in personnel.

We're not going to let that affect our game out there.

Which is wheelchair basketball, yes?

Sorry, someone just handed me a clipboard and pushed me in here.

I was just inquiring if you had to be a parent to join the PTA Flooseball League.

And apparently, the answer is yes for some reason.

Ugh.

So I did not see the first half of the game, but I think you probably did great.

And I think you're going to continue to do great.

And Red Mesa isn't going to know what hit them.

Tell you what, everyone get together here.

Big huddle, hands in.

Reach in, Aparna.

Okay,

I know I haven't proved myself to you all as a coach, but you've proved yourselves to each other as a team, and that is what matters.

So, everyone, look each other in the eyes.

Eye contact all around.

And one, two, three.

The ball is

where

the win is.

Now, get out there and please again do not touch the box of infinite despair.

I'm taking it out to my car right now.

Does anyone have gloves?

2003

Tough first half, but we're giving as good as we get we always do Yasmin good offense.

You're sharing the ball well Melina excellent screens and Hannah great job of boxing out fantastic hustle out there

It's games like these that really matter Sure, it'd be nice to breeze to a victory.

Boy, it feels great to finish a first half knowing that the outcome is set in stone.

But those blowout games, those don't mean anything.

All that means is we outclass the opponent so much, we shouldn't even be on that court with them.

It's a mismatch of skill.

As Lenny Wilkins once said, there's a spider on your shirt and his name is Victory.

But a game like this, where we're back and forth, back and forth, the squeal of wheels skidding out as you have to reverse all of a sudden and go tearing back down the court to defend.

These are the games where you learn who you really are, where you find out just what kind of team we've built here.

And what we found out is that we are champions because this is a difficult, close game and we are going to win it.

And when we've won, we are going to look the other team in the eye.

Shake their hands, say good game while thinking you were a worthy opponent and it could have gone either way.

But it didn't.

Oh, it didn't.

Girls, on three, all together now.

The ball is where the win is.

That's right.

Okay, let's get out there and finish this.

Remember, the harder we have to fight, the sweeter that victory will taste.

Let's go

2009.

Everyone, bring it in.

Bring it in.

Just take a second.

Leave that hectic court behind.

Your darting eyes scanning the passing lanes, reading the defense.

Leave all that out there.

In here, hey, hey, listen up.

I don't want to have to shout.

Gather around close.

Look each other in the eyes and take three big breaths.

That's right.

One,

two,

three.

It's been a tough game.

It's been a tough season.

I know that you all want that win.

An entire season without a win?

It's...

Well, it's devastating.

It's not what we wanted, but it happens.

I know it's hard to imagine, but in the long landscape of your life, this isn't even going to register as one of the worst bits.

So take the good that's here.

All of you, giving it your all, working together.

That's what you can control, and you have done me so proud out there.

This year, the other teams just had a little more luck, a little more time to practice, whatever.

They have the edge on us.

That'll happen.

No one judges you for that.

We are all judged on how we handle the luck we are given.

Now I'm not saying that we won't win tonight's game.

I think we should go out there and do our best at that.

Mathematically, given the current score difference,

it might be...

You know, well, I haven't done the calculation on whether it's physically possible to win with the time left.

Probably better to just not know that.

As Pat Summit once said, aggressive ignorance in the face of all available information is bliss

i don't know what happens next none of us do but i know what happens now now we join hands we promise each other that win lose or draw we hey maybe we could pull a draw are there draws in basketball well that would be a super great surprise

but no matter what we will go out there as humans good humans supporting each other on the court and off.

So on the count of three, the ball is where the win is.

But remember, the win isn't where it all is.

So proud of you girls.

2012.

Is everyone here?

Tasha?

I don't see Tasha.

Oh, there you are.

Let's try to keep things on the visible light spectrum during game time, okay, Tasha?

Makes it easier for those of us who have eyes.

So it's...

It's going great, obviously.

Looks like another easy win for Night Vale.

Which reminds me, let's let some of the junior players get in there.

This is a good chance for them to get some experience.

Cynthia, I know it's been difficult being on the bench this whole season.

We all see your triple threat potential as a perimeter shooter slash shot blocker slash telekinetic small forward, and I want you to be a starter next year it's hard i know because you're a fist-sized piece of beach glass who hasn't gotten much playing time but i believe in you cynthia show me what you can do out there in the second half okay

um

so

this is all really good it's great we're winning so much woo

but i just want to warn you um my brother-in-law is here he comes to all the games he says he has to report on them but i think it's mostly so he can say mean things about me into his microphone, which he does, continuously, through the entire game.

I can hear him right now, even at halftime, saying some very unkind things about the maintenance of my car, which, you know, not all of us can afford a new car, Cecil.

Not all of us can work cushy community radio jobs.

Some of us are executives at banks, which unfortunately, society just doesn't value that kind of labor enough to compensate us much.

As Phil Jackson once said, flowers are growing from my eyes also i have finger antlers now the point is i don't want you paying attention to what the media reports about us not even when he says something cruel about my hair not even if i start crying okay

what matters is that we are dominating this season and the fact that it's kind of being ruined for me by my brother-in-law is you know it's neither here nor there

Neither here nor there.

All right, let's finish this game up strong.

Bring it in.

one two three the ball is where the win is yeah

nice oh good point Cecil my shirt is unflattering thank you

2016

Everyone, listen up.

Listen up.

Janice, that means you.

No talking.

We've played a strong first half out there, and I'm pleased with that.

And I want you to know that yes, Janice is my daughter, and she is the starting point guard in only her first year, but that is not because she is my daughter.

Janice has good natural speed, pan-opticon-like court vision, and a prodigious grasp of the fundamentals.

I just made the best decision for the team.

But Janice, I need to see more hustle from you.

You have to continue to earn that spot every second of every game.

Why should you have it instead of someone else?

You know?

Oh yeah, go ahead and grab an energy bar.

I'm sure we're all happy that Janice's Uncle Cecil donated these.

He certainly has been supportive of the team since his niece joined.

Isn't that nice?

I'm sure we're all very grateful to him.

Very grateful indeed.

But just because say someone gifts homemade energy bars or say is my daughter that doesn't mean we owe them anything, right?

We are each of us our own people and we have to play our own game.

As Gina Warriamo once said, there's a woman with no face standing over my bed and all I want to do is scream, but I cannot let her know I am alive.

So let's forget Cecil and Janice.

More hustle, okay?

One, two, three.

The ball's where the win is.

Hey, Janice, hold up.

Listen, I'm sorry.

I know I'm being...

I just really don't want them to feel like I'm playing favorites.

And I think I'm leaning too far the other direction.

And I'm sorry.

You don't deserve that.

You're doing great, sweetie.

I love you and I'm proud of you.

Now get out there and let's crush the Sage City truck monsters.

2020.

Well, this is a special one.

I don't have to tell you.

You know it.

Oh, this is a special one.

Janice, who's been first-team all-district since her freshman year,

this will be the final half of her final game.

And what a game to go out on.

You all have been playing like a machine.

Good communication, good defensive reads, incredible hustle.

All of you.

I have no notes.

You have taken in what I have taught and you are in turn teaching me so much.

But let me take a second on Janice.

Yes, she's my daughter, but she also went from a freshman full of promise to our point guard that led us twice to state and once to a championship.

It is one of the best careers this high school has ever seen.

Next year, Janice will be playing college ball.

Full scholarship, which is great because between my income as a bank executive and her mother's income as a real estate lawyer, you can imagine we're barely scraping by.

Every dynasty ends.

Every sunny day leads to a sunset.

Every night fades into day again.

We are in constant motion.

There are no endings, only transformations.

As Greg Popovich once said, I don't know why I have wings now, but I do.

And I will use them to fight crime.

bird crime.

And just like Coach Popovich, this team will transform.

Janice's life will transform.

Tonight's game will transform into a game that is being played, into a game that has been played.

It will go into our memories.

So let's make those memories good ones.

Let's honor Janice with a decisive win.

And yes, I've asked Cecil to take down his banner that says, I love my brother Steve and his daughter Janice.

It's a sweet sentiment, certainly better than some of the ones he's expressed in the past, but it's just a little distracting having that banner hanging four feet up across mid-court.

Everyone in now.

Hands in.

One, two, three.

The ball is where the win is.

Oh, do you hear that?

Sounds like the halftime show is wrapping up.

Packages by Expedia.

You were made to occasionally take the hard route to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

We were made to easily bundle your trip.

Expedia.

Made to travel.

Flight inclusive packages are at all protected.

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was quick.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now, Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, that yeah somebody call action aka charlie sheen only on netflix september 10th

2022

great hustle out there in the first half great hustle i'm so proud of you all i'm so

kim you're playing too tight at the perimeter and they're gonna buy you on the fake just just try and let them shoot from

oh man i'm gonna miss this What a game to go out on, though.

You're all doing so well.

I hope I made you even half as proud as you make me.

Because you make me so...

Let me start over.

As you know, Frances Donaldson found a yellow scrap of cloth in her car trunk, indicating that she has been chosen to take over the wheelchair basketball team as coach.

So this will be my last game with you all.

And I congratulate Coach Donaldson.

She has some great years ahead of her.

Some great years.

The best.

Some of you know me well.

Some of you just joined this year.

I hope that, whoever you are, you made some memories here that you'll take with you.

Life is a continual movement forward.

And what ends up mattering is all those memories that you get to take with you into whatever comes next.

I don't know what comes next for me or for you, but I know that we get to take the memory of this game with us wherever that is.

And isn't that a comfort?

And isn't that a blessing?

I apologize that before we start the second half, Cecil, my brother-in-law Cecil, has organized a kind of ceremony to mark...

just to celebrate what a time we all had together.

Cecil's been very nice to me these last few years.

It's very kind of him to do this.

It will be a little long and a little much, probably.

Cecil sometimes is a little much, a little overbearing in his love, but he means well.

Intentions are not everything.

In fact, in many cases, they're not anything.

But it's worth keeping them in mind.

As Red Hourback once said, trees,

we

are they.

And I get that.

You know, when I was first brought in here to coach, which was, my goodness, 25 years ago, how is that even possible?

And when I was first brought in, I didn't know anything about the game, about the job, but also about what it all meant, how important it all was, every moment of it.

There were great seasons and seasons where we just couldn't seem to win a game, but they all meant something.

They all meant everything,

to me at least, and hopefully to all the players and all those teams, wherever they've scattered off to through the decades.

I hope they still carry with them these moments.

In this tiny, sweaty room, where I said to them, good job, or all is not lost, or just, hey, keep doing what you're doing.

Remember, the ball is where the win is.

You are going to make me so proud out there.

You have already made me so proud.

Welcome to Night Vale's production of Night Vale Presents.

It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Kraner and produced by Joseph Fink.

The voice of Steve Carlsberg is Hal Lublin.

Original music by Disparition.

All of it can be found at disparition.bandcamp.com.

This episode's halftime show was A Strange Us by the Joseph Herbst Sextet.

Find out more at josephherpstmusic.com.

Comments, questions, email us at info at welcome to nightvale.com or follow us on Twitter at nightvale radio or live your dreams.

Every single one.

Make it really weird.

Check out welcome to nightvale.com for info about our shop, which we keep fresh with new items designed by a carefully selected small group of artists.

If something's in there, it's because we ourselves would love to have it.

Today's proverb.

Oh yeah, I love reading fantasy.

That's what we call looking at Zillow now, right?

Starting a business can seem like a daunting task, unless you have a partner like Shopify.

They have the tools you need to start and grow your business.

From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need.

There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz, and Allbirds continue to trust and use them.

With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into

Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com slash special offer.

I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We love movies and we come at them from different perspectives.

Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas, and I don't.

He's too old.

Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dune 2 is overrated.

It is.

Anyway, despite this, we come together to host Unspooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-season, and case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone, From Greece to the Dark Knight.

We've done deep dives on popcorn flicks, we've talked about why Independence Day deserves a second look, and we've talked about horror movies, some that you've never even heard of, like Kanja and Hess.

So, if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unspooled wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Are you squeamish about horror movies, but kind of want to know what happens?

Or are you a horror lover who likes thoughtful conversation about your favorite genre?

Join me, Jeffrey Kraner, and my friend from Welcome to Nightville, Cecil Baldwin, for our weekly podcast, Random Number Generator, Horror Podcast Number 9, where we watch and discuss horror movies in a random order.

Find, here's the short version, random horror nine wherever you get your podcasts.

Boo.