188 - Listener Questions

Hey, y'all, it is Jeffrey Kraner speaking to you from the year 2025.

And did you know that Welcome to Night Vale is back out on tour?

We are.

We're going to be up in the northeast in the Boston, New York City area, going all the way over to the upper Midwest in Minnesota.

That's in July.

You kind of draw a line through there and you'll kind of see the towns we'll be hitting.

We'll also be doing Philly down to Florida in September.

And we'll be going from Austin all the way up through the middle of the country into Toronto, Canada in October.

And then we'll be doing the West Coast plus the Southwest plus Colorado in January of 2026.

You can find all of the show dates at welcome to nightvale.com/slash live.

Listen, this brand new live show is so much fun.

It is called Murder Night in Blood Forest, and it stars Cecil Baldwin, of course, Symphony Sanders, me, and live original music by Disparition, and who knows what other special guests may come along for the ride.

These tours are always so much fun, and they are for you, the Die Hard fan, and you, the Night Vale new kid alike.

So, feel comfortable bringing your family, your partner, your coworkers, your cat, whatever.

They don't got to know what a night veil is to like the show.

Tickets to all of these live shows are on sale now at welcometonightvelle.com slash live.

Don't let time slip away and miss us when we are in your town because otherwise we will all be sad.

Get your tickets to our live US plus Toronto tours right now at welcometonightveld.com slash live.

And hey, see you soon.

If you're dying for the next batch of Wednesday

The Wednesday Season 2 official Woecast is already here.

Dive deeper into the mysteries of Wednesday with the Ultimate Companion Video Podcast.

Join the frightfully funny Caitlin Riley along with her producer, Thing, as she sits down with the cast and crew.

Together, they'll unravel each shocking twist, dissect the dynamics lurking beneath, unearth Adam's family lore, and answer all of your lingering questions.

Guests include Emma Myers, Joy Sunday, Hunter Doohan, Steve Buscemi, Fred Armison, Catherine Zeta Jones, the Joanna Lumley, also show creators Al Goh and Miles Miller, and of course, Wednesday herself, Jenna Ortega, plus many, many more.

With eight delightfully dark episodes to devour, you'll be drawn into the haunting halls of Nevermore Academy deeper than ever before.

But beware, you know where curiosity often leads.

The Wednesday season 2 official Wocast is available in audio and video on todoom.com or wherever it is you get your podcasts.

Hi, it's me, Joseph Fink, co-writer and creator of this podcast.

Welcome to Night Vale.

So, because of some scheduling issues that are too boring to get into here, we had to delay the episode that was planned for today.

But do not worry, don't hit stop on this episode.

We still have a special treat for you all.

For years now, we've gotten emails asking us questions about the making of Nightfale and our favorite characters and what we think about this or that.

And mostly we just don't have the time or energy to answer every single one of those.

But I thought it would be cool today to take a few of the most interesting emails and give them the answers they deserve.

So this first one is from Lucy in Claremont.

Hi Lucy.

And she writes, hi, whoever this is.

I don't know what you're getting at with this show or why you're claiming to write it.

These are actual broadcasts from an actual town.

I can hear it on my radio right now.

How did you find this radio station?

What do you know about Night Vale?

And why are you pretending that you wrote any of this?

I want answers.

Uh

huh.

Okay, sorry.

I didn't.

pick these emails out actually.

I know I kind of tried to make it sound like they were hand-selected, but our business manager Joella, is the one who actually.

But I should have vetted these.

This is definitely a weird.

I'm honestly not sure what to say about this one.

Lucy left her phone number.

I mean, I get, I get that it's just a joke, but you know, it might be interesting to call her.

Okay, you know what?

I'm gonna do it.

Hold on.

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Oh, wow.

I didn't know anyone anyone picked up anymore with all that.

Anyway, is this Lucy from Claremont?

Uh, who is this?

Right, yeah.

Okay, this is Joseph Fink with Welcome to Nightfale.

You wrote in and thank you, but I was I was a little confused.

Oh, so you're the ones passing that work off as your own.

But it is our work.

I've been writing it since.

Look, I don't know what your deal is, but I've been listening to broadcasts from Nightfale for decades.

Decades.

Yeah, on the radio.

You know, like podcasts, but hosted in the atmosphere.

What's the frequency?

They don't come on any specific frequency.

They just sometimes find me when I'm listening to something else.

Joe Frank on KCRW, Stained on K-Rock back when that was a sentence that made sense.

The normal single waivers, and then Static, and then Cecil.

Is that how it works for you?

No, because we're a podcast.

I wrote these episodes and we've never licensed them for radio.

Uh,

I don't know why you called me just to keep up the charade.

I was excited to hear from someone else who knew about the show, but if you're just gonna keep lying, I don't think I'm lying.

Lucy?

Lucy.

She hung up.

I don't feel like I have any better handle on what's happening here, but I'm gonna reach out to Cecil.

Cecil Baldwin narrates our show, lives in Brooklyn, is an actor, you know.

So I'm gonna call him, see what he thinks about about this.

Hey, Cecil, uh, it's Joseph.

Just have kind of a weird issue going on.

Nothing to worry about, but give me a call.

I'll just text you.

That's what people do.

Never mind.

Don't bother listening to this.

I'll just text you.

Let me call Jeffrey Kraner.

That's my co-writer.

We write the show together because it's a fictional show.

It's not real.

They're all scripts, and then actors read the scripts.

Hey, what's up?

Hey, this is going to sound weird.

Did you see the email from Lucy yesterday?

It was sent to our info at Nightfill address.

Lucy.

That's the one.

Yeah, let me see.

Aha.

Hi, whoever this is.

I don't know what you're getting at.

Actual broadcast from an actual town.

Why are you pretending?

Yeah, I don't know.

It's just a weird fan email.

We get those sometimes.

Probably don't respond, I'd say.

I called her.

Okay.

So she insists that she can hear the broadcasts on her radio and that Nightfall is real.

But it's not.

No, I I know.

So I know.

You know what?

This was silly.

Sorry for bothering you.

Tell your cats hi.

Oh, I will tell them that right now.

Reba, Barry, Carol, Uncle Joseph says hi.

Okay, so I'm just like googling Nightfale, which usually comes up with a picture of, I don't know, our books or our live shows or fan art.

Top result is our website usually, but that's not okay.

That's not what I'm seeing.

Town of Nightfale, population,

founding date, Wikipedia link.

The city itself has a Wikipedia page.

It's pretty extensive.

There are user pics of Grove Park and the Moonlight All-Night Diner.

And okay, hold on.

I'm gonna google the Moonlight All-Night Diner.

It has a Yelp listing.

Oroboros Road, Nightfale,

open 24 hours, 4.3 stars with 267 reviews.

Luann says you have to try the invisible pie.

It's just an empty plate and also it's delicious.

None of this stuff was here before.

There was a fan wiki, I think.

Where did the fan wiki go?

I'm clicking on our own site.

Welcome to nightvale.com and it's

a page for a Burger King in Toledo, Ohio.

There's a close-up picture of a deep fryer, weird choice, and a notice that they're hiring.

I think our site got hacked.

That's a thing, right?

Burger King hacking podcast sites.

I think I heard about that on all things considered.

I need to...

I'm gonna call Cecil Baldwin again.

Obviously, he's the actor reading the scripts, so he knows that it is fake, and it would be helpful, I think, right now for me to hear that.

I don't know.

I don't need an excuse.

I'm just gonna

hi, you've reached Cecil.

I don't listen to my voicemails, but go ahead and leave one.

That's okay.

I'll call him later.

We'll be available later.

It's

it's just so.

So I've been writing Welcome to Nightville scripts since early 2012.

I started out writing this paragraph about lights above the Arby's and it just felt right and I kept following that feeling.

I was 25 years old when I wrote that first little bit of Nightfale.

So if Nightfall is real, if these are actual broadcasts from a small desert town, then

what have I been writing?

Who am I?

Where do I fit in this reality?

You know, these aren't small questions.

It's not a small thing finding out that your fiction is just

real now, I guess.

Could I go visit Nightfall?

No, I wouldn't.

I mean, I couldn't.

Oh, wait.

The Delta app shows there are direct flights from JFK to the Randy Newman Memorial Nightville Airport.

No, I wouldn't.

Hey Jeffrey, what's up?

Okay, so I've been doing some digging and I think I know what's going on.

Okay, great.

I'm really glad someone does.

Nightvale is real now.

It became real.

Well, it's always been real.

It's a town in the southwest, a very, very weird town, and it exists and always has, but that wasn't the case even yesterday.

This is...

If I'm honest, it's not making a ton of sense to me.

Well, that's because it's simultaneously super confusing and completely simple.

Nightvale was never real, and then one day it was always real.

It went from fiction to non-fiction, and when that happened, its entire history became non-fiction too, and so it always existed.

I do not know how to react to that.

Yeah, it's wild.

Hey, did you see the expense report, Joella sent?

I have not looked at it yet.

So what does that mean for us?

I mean, if we wrote this fiction and now this fiction is real, does that mean, are we gods?

Are we in danger?

It was great on theology, but both of those are possible.

I mean, I'd say danger is more likely than us suddenly being divine.

Carol.

No.

I'm sorry.

Carol has learned that she can climb curtains now.

That cat's a real bowl of mashed potatoes.

She used to be when she was a kitten.

Now she's more of a teenage dirtbag.

I am.

Sorry, I'm still extremely caught up on this Nightfall is Real Now thing.

Do you know if Cecil's okay?

I mean, are Cecil?

I'm not sure.

No!

Sorry, Carol's acting out.

I have to go.

Oh, uh,

bye.

So, this seems a good time to try Cecil again.

Uh, he probably was just a little busy.

It's usually a busy time of year for him, I think.

Probably didn't see my calls yet.

I'll just give me one moment.

The number you dialed is not a working number.

Please check the number and dial again.

What the f?

I don't.

Okay.

Okay.

Sorry, I'm just gonna.

I'm just gonna pause this recording for a bit.

I'm gonna drive down to Cecil's apartments, a couple hours.

I need to understand what's happening.

I will be back in a moment.

This is just one of those things.

You ever had one of those days that's a day, you know?

It's just a day, capital A, capital D.

In the meantime, here's a song I like.

Yeah.

These days, I find myself on the freeway Driving so fast the trees wave when I blow past I've nearly repped on the DJ quits playing my favorite hits cause I was changing the station quick let's face it

What does it really mean if I let your song play to the end and never feel a thing?

Me I've got illumination on time release that it's sprayed to the 87 I'll fight 90 D's life is great

Looks like I'm making the right mistakes On my shit like Nadia said fighting wait Can't drop the ball for life working them I'm high skirts and tight shirts at the shopping mall.

I might flirt with a slice of murk or not at all.

Surrender the foolish fool again to pursue what I'm truly meant to do with my full intent.

And past recollection is clear, my peers were too distracted.

Getting eatens and cracking beers to perfect the craft all those years.

Still, they know that I care.

I'm showing up there when America Airlines can lower the fare.

Here's the second tries.

Cheers to a better life.

If you'll excuse me, I was clearing names on my phone.

I don't recognize.

This past dude for making a change.

Start anew, hard to do, fixated on pain.

When a brain's a pores, washing away, any fame and glory in many who came before me, same old story just painted corely.

Hues of blue over shades of green, never dated.

Jade is one of the greatest shades with green.

I mean, immediately amazed with the way sun rays seem to break the leaves as if to create laser beams.

How it sways and leans in a breeze, sweeping the landscape like waves of a stream.

Of all the breathtaking scenery that I've seen in nature's kingdom, these are per few of my favorite things.

However, true with the subtle accents of a raven swings.

Here's the second try.

Let it

fall

away.

Cheers to a better life.

Hey,

hey.

Fair weather, farewell.

Misunderstood, and there I stood under a burden judgment unto what I heard.

Cause my slumber was third.

Life is finite, my entire life.

I have yet to be disenchanted, admired.

The fire flies at twilight by night.

I wrote this next double windowsill upon which a whipper will sit so still.

the pain It's merely a cheat frame of a picture in which a tree stands between me and the Hudson River I wish to see threefold of my complete view at the top floor But I don't need to, not anymore I'm content with a deep blue glimmer that sneaks through somehow is it the renew?

Can this be true?

The DJ quit playing my favorite hits so let's face it, change the station.

Here's the second tries, here's to a better life nothing quite re-energizes like a farewell to the petty lies.

Cheers to a better life.

Can't welcome the baby.

Here's the second try time to try.

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Okay, I went to Cecil's apartment.

There was no answer in the bell, but uh the front door was open, so I went upstairs and I knocked.

There was nothing again, it was unlocked, so I went inside.

On the other side of the door was a back hallway of a restaurant, it looked like.

White tile, uh white walls, a door that said storeroom, three bathrooms, you know, the usual.

So I went down the hallway and I was calling for Cecil, just like, hey Cecil, you there?

And I was in a diner and there were all these people looking at me.

A woman walked up.

She had a name tag that said Laura.

And she had branches growing out of her chest and her arms and her neck.

And that sounds whimsical, but I want you to imagine the reality of that.

The strange, rough skin where the flesh meets bark and the way it twists up out of the body.

It was...

It was a lot to try to wrap my head around.

This woman, Laura, asked me, are you looking for Cecil?

He's not here right now.

He's usually at the radio station, so so I thanked her and I stumbled out.

It's sunset right now, where I am in this small desert town.

The wind is hot, and it smells like...

like honey

and mud.

There is a loud thumping sound as a black helicopter flies overhead, disappearing into the last of the sunlight behind the mountains.

Man walks up.

He is covered in microphones, more microphone than man, and he says, Interloper, what are you doing here?

And I say, I don't know how I got here.

I don't understand what is happening.

And he nods sympathetically and says, This is common.

The whole time, he is furiously scribbling down notes in a notepad, and blinking red recording lights flash over his body, like a city scene from an overnight flight.

I have to go, I say,

and I start running.

And that's where I am now.

Running down this road in a desert town I invented.

I'm passing by a strip mall where there is a big Rico's pizza, and I made up that name.

I made up that name.

And here it is.

Sign in the window.

Now serving wheat and wheat byproducts.

What's in the kitchen doesn't look like wheat.

That looks.

Oh my god.

Oh god.

Okay.

Keep moving.

Next door, there is a laboratory

in bright and buzzing neon lights.

It says, Carlos's lab, science while you wait.

And then another big neon sign of a guy in a lab coat and his legs does a

high kick and repeating animation.

It's kind of cute, actually.

There's police tape all over the door, lots of signs saying, warning, science, and

curiosity, forbidden.

Lots of old police tape peeling and layered on top of each other.

Down the road, I can see the desert flower bowling alley and arcade fun complex.

Looks like it's looks like it's really hopping tonight.

Guess that's where everyone is.

Parking lot full of cars and government agents taking down the license plate numbers of the vehicles and then giving the slips of paper to birds who fly away to make nests with them.

And oh,

oh,

oh.

There's the radio station.

It's not how I imagined.

It's a windowless concrete structure.

Looks abandoned.

Weather-beaten.

Cursed by God.

It looks like no human being has breathed within it for a thousand years.

I guess I have to.

I guess I'm going in.

I'm at the door.

It's chained shut, but the lock has rusted off.

I'm pulling out the chains.

I'm opening the door.

It smells like

malt

and dust.

There's no lights on.

It doesn't seem like there's any power.

I see a door that says station management.

I hear movement inside, but I'm...

I'm not.

I wouldn't.

I'm not going to go in there, obviously.

The door is warm.

It's hot, actually.

Ow!

Well, I guess this has been listener questions.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in.

Sorry I couldn't get to all of you.

Let's do one more just to round out the episode.

Martine asks,

what was the most fun episode to make?

Great question, Martine.

There's so many.

What was that?

What was that?

Sorry.

I thought I saw, but

it was nothing.

There's no one else in here.

It's dark and abandoned.

Well, Martine, I liked making episode 67.

Best of.

That was fun.

And episode 71, The Registry of Middle School Crushes.

That was a good time to write.

Thanks for your email.

Thanks for listening.

That was nothing.

There was nothing behind me.

Because nothing looks like that.

Hold on.

I hear someone talking.

Hello?

I see a light on.

I think it might be the booth.

Cecil!

I hope all of you out there have something to sleep through it with, or at least good memories of when you did.

Good night, Night Vale.

Good night.

Welcome to Night Vale is a production of Night Vale Presents.

It is written by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Craner and produced by Disparition.

The voice of Joseph was Joseph Fink.

The voice of Lucy was Julia Morizawa.

The voice of Jeffrey was Jeffrey Craner.

Carol is a bowl of mashed potatoes.

The voice of Nightvale is Cecil Baldwin.

Original music by Disparition.

All of it can be found at disparition.bandcamp.com.

This episode song Joseph liked was Hey by Standpoint, featuring Lady Daisy River.

Find out more at soundcloud.com/slash standpoint dash one.

Comments, questions, email us at info at welcometonightvale.com or follow us on Twitter at nightvale radio or eat a garlic scape you foraged from the side of the road.

Check out WelcomeTonightvale.com for info about our live-streamed performance of All Hail, which is tonight.

But you can watch it at any point over the next month, and you know what?

You should.

Today's proverb: there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but then there is also a light at the end of an anglerfish's tendril.

I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We love movies, and we come at them from different perspectives.

Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas, and I don't.

He's too old.

Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dune 2 is overrated.

It is.

Anyway, despite this, we come together to host Unspooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-season, and case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone, From Greece to the Dark Knight.

We've done deep dives on popcorn flicks, we've talked about why Independence Day deserves a second look, and we've talked about horror movies, some that you've never even heard of, like Kanja and Hess.

So, if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unspooled wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Hey, Jeffrey Kraner here to tell you about another show from me and my nightvale co-creator, Joseph Fink.

It's called Unlicensed, and it's an LA Noir-style mystery set in the outskirts of present-day Los Angeles.

Unlicensed follows two unlicensed private investigators whose small jobs looking into insurance claims and missing property are only the tip of a conspiracy iceberg.

There are already two seasons of Unlicensed for you to listen to now, with season three dropping on May 15th.

Unlicensed is available exclusively through Audible, free if you already have that subscription.

And if you don't, Audible has a trial membership.

And if I know you, and I do, you can binge all that mystery goodness in a short window.

And if you like it, if you liked Unlicensed, please, please rate and review each season.

Our ability to keep making this show is predicated on audience engagement.

So go check out Unlicensed, available now only at Audible.com.