Bonus Episode 3 - "The Librarian" Horoscopes

Here's something I say a lot, but it's just the truth.

We couldn't make this show without our Patreon.

It is by far the biggest way we are able to pay everyone working on the show, from the writers to the actors, to Jessica, who does original artwork for every single episode, to Joella, who does all the back-end business stuff.

All of these people are able to pay their bills, and we are all able to put out the show because of our Patreon.

And we try to give some cool rewards as a thank you.

Four bonus episodes a year that are not released on the main feed, ad-free versions of our episodes, monthly Zoom hangouts with the Nightvale Writers, director's notes on every episode, a brand new book club we are launching led by the Nightfall Writers, and even the chance for you to appear in future Nightfall episodes as a character.

So, all of that is there, but also just the knowledge that this thing exists in the world that otherwise wouldn't, and you are part of that.

So, consider heading to welcometonightvale.com and clicking on Patreon and becoming a patron or upgrading your existing membership.

We deeply, truly appreciate it.

Thank you.

If you're dying for the next batch of Wednesday season 2 to drop on Netflix, then I'll let you in on a secret.

The Wednesday season 2 official wocast is already here.

Dive deeper into the mysteries of Wednesday with the Ultimate Companion Video Podcast.

Join the frightfully funny Caitlin Riley along with her producer, Thing, as she sits down with the cast and crew.

Together, they'll unravel each shocking twist, dissect the dynamics lurking beneath, unearth Adam's family lore, and answer all of your lingering questions.

Guests include Emma Myers, Joy Sunday, Hunter Doohan, Steve Buscemi, Fred Armison, Catherine Zeta Jones, the Joanna Lumley, also show creators Al Goh and Miles Miller, and of course Wednesday herself, Jenna Ortega, plus many, many more.

With eight delightfully dark episodes to devour, you'll be drawn into the haunting halls of Nevermore Academy deeper than ever before.

But beware, you know where curiosity often leads.

The Wednesday season 2 official wocast is available in audio and video on to doom.com or wherever it is you get your podcasts.

What you are about to hear was recorded live at the Skurball in New York City on January 16th, 2015.

If you weren't there but would like to see what that was like, we have a behind-the-scenes video on our YouTube channel right now.

Just go to youtube.com youtube.com/slash welcome to nightfail and subscribe to get more bonus behind-the-scenes stuff in the future.

Alright, I'll see you in a bit, but for now, I take you to that strange little town, New York City.

More on this story as it develops, but first,

today's horoscopes.

Aries,

Aries,

you have much in common with a treat,

A sadness that no one can see or understand.

Communication only through silence and wind.

Skin made of wood.

The way you collect sustenance through roots buried in soil.

You are very, very much like a tree.

Almost impossible to tell the difference.

Taurus.

Taurus.

Today is the day that you change everything.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I misspoke.

I'm sorry.

Let me try that again, okay?

Today is the day that everything changes you.

You will be completely unrecognizable.

Yeah, that's it.

There you go.

Gemini,

how scared are you of centipedes?

Gemini.

I mean, no reason.

The stars are just asking.

Like, are you super, super scared?

Because I can't say for sure, but you're pretty brave, right?

Like, you could handle a couple of centipedes.

You could handle a bunch of centipedes

right Gemini

no reason

I'm just asking

cancer

today is an excellent day for you to demand a promotion to approach the one that you have been secretly thinking about for years to try your hand at that new hobby that you are considering.

Unfortunately, it is a terrible day for getting that promotion,

having that person say yes, and not injuring yourself badly on a power sander.

But you should at least feel great about the attempt.

Leo,

there's just a thick green smudge here

and the word crypto toxicology

So I guess that's a good thing right

Virgo

Now wait

there are still some of you left

How did you survive the great culling of Virgos that swept through oh, you know what?

I'm sorry.

That's not till next week.

Sorry, I got confused there.

Oh yeah, today looks very good for you, Virgo.

Maybe use this lovely day to get all your affairs in order.

Just a thought.

Libra.

All your dreams will come true today.

Or, I mean, one of them will.

You know that recurring dream where you're chased through a house that seems like your own, but it isn't quite by a swarm of bees that you can't see, even though you totally know that they're there?

Well, it's not that recurring dream, it's the other one,

and I am so so sorry,

Scorpio.

Your arms arms look weird,

and your face is a natural irritant,

and your personality leaves much to be desired,

the principal desire being your immediate absence.

You disgust me, Steve Carlsberg.

I mean,

Scorpios,

Scorpios,

right?

Sagittarius

buy a tourniquet,

the best that money can buy,

Capricorn.

Today's lucky number is

imaginary.

But coincidentally, so are you

and your entire experience of the world.

Aquarius.

You want to make some money fast?

I don't know.

Rob somebody.

Commit fraud.

There's lots of ways.

Pisces,

you've just won another brand new car.

You stare bleakly at your home, filled with stacks upon stacks of new cars, occupying every possible space at impossible angles.

Today's brand new car is wheeled in, and as you feel its bulk pressing up against you, taking the last bit of your home that had still been yours to live in, you feel tears hot upon your cheeks.

Congratulations on your prize.

Well, that's it for the sample.

But if you want more, the full recording of The Librarian with over 90 minutes of new stuff just like that is available at nightvale.bandcamp.com for whatever price that much new Night Vale is worth to you or on iTunes.

Just search Night Vale.

Hope you enjoyed the sample, and I'll see you on March 15th with a brand new episode and some huge news about the Night Vale book for you.

We'll see you you then.

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director.

You might know me from the League Veep or my non-eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

We love movies and we come at them from different perspectives.

Yeah, like Amy thinks that, you know, Joe Pesci was miscast in Goodfellas, and I don't.

He's too old.

Let's not forget that Paul thinks that Dune 2 is overrated.

It is.

Anyway, despite this, we come together to host Unschooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits, fan favorites, must-season, and case you missed them.

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone, from Greece to the Dark Knight.

We've done deep dives on popcorn flicks.

We've talked about why Independence Day deserves a second look.

And we've talked about horror movies, some that you've never even heard of, like Kanja and Hess.

So if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

Listen to Unschooled wherever you get your podcasts.

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

Hi, we're Meg Bashwiner.

And Joseph Fink of Welcome to Night Vale.

And on our new show, The Best Worst, we explore the golden age of television.

To do that, we're watching the IMDb viewer-rated best and worst episodes of classic TV shows.

The episode of Star Trek, where Beverly Krusher has sex with a ghost.

The episode of The X-Files, where Skelly gets attacked by a vicious house cat.

And also, the really good episodes, too.

What can we learn from the best and worst of great television?

Like, for example, is it really a bad episode, or do people just hate women?

The best, worst, available wherever you get your podcasts.