If I Ruled the World: Careful What You Think [VIDEO]

I just, because I do want to vote yes for one of your ideas, Trevor, because I don't think I ever have.

Right?

So I really, I do, I really do.

Like, I don't want it.

I, because, you know, people hit me up, they're like, stop bullying Trevor.

And I'm like,

I'm not bullying him.

He's just like, he says crazy stuff.

Like, so as my friend and my brother, I want to support you and your ideas.

This is What Now

with Trevor Noah

You ready to rule the world?

Of course.

Always am living.

Welcome to my favorite game, If I Ruled the World.

As I tell both of you and anyone who listened, my dream is to be a dictator of a very small nation,

of a group of people who

not wanted me to be a dictator, but they were like, yeah, this sounds like a cool idea.

So I didn't like take power from them.

It just was the way it was.

Okay.

And yeah, I always think of what I would do to make my world perfect.

And that's why I play this game.

I feel like Josh has come in.

Because last time you weren't happy with how we ran if I ruled the world.

He felt a bit stat up on?

Yeah.

No, no, you know, I think I was more like, I always come to if I rule the world, like I rule the world, like this should work.

So then when y'all hit me with things I didn't think about,

I feel like I'm not really ruling the world.

I feel like, I feel like my plans are falling apart.

So I get a little vindictive because I'm like,

all right, you asked me what to do if I would rule the world.

You didn't tell me to plug up all the holes in my logic.

But remember, you have to vote.

That's the game.

Yeah.

If I ruled the world,

each of us takes the role of magnanimous dictator slash world leader slash king slash god person.

We change the world in any way that we want.

However, you have to win the votes of the other two people.

We also ask everyone who listens to the show if they want to submit ideas and then we vote on them.

So let's go through some of the suggestions now.

I haven't seen any of these, so I don't know.

Okay.

All right, let's see.

If I rule the world, listener suggestions.

Here we go.

This is from Rebecca.

Rebecca says, if I rule the world, I would make it mandatory for world leaders to spend an hour creating art, and it can be anything, drawing, painting, ceramics, glass blowing, before they make any critical decisions on important matters such as military action, immigration, environmental policies, et cetera.

Absolutely not.

No?

Just what George W.

Bush is doing now is making art.

That means some really dark stuff is going down if you have to make art.

But I feel like he's doing it in reverse.

He already killed all the people

and now he's doing it quite.

That's true.

I think I would vote for this because I think that one of the most humbling things of the world is like doing an art that you don't do and then try to look like an expert in the same day.

You know what I mean?

Like if you're like, hey, y'all, we have to invade, but then the people just saw you and they were like, bitch, you can't draw.

How you going to let us get killed and you can't draw?

You know what I mean?

Like you have this.

So the failure.

Okay, I like this.

The closet shows yours as a

I am a yes for this.

Christiana.

No, you're a no.

Yeah, well, I'm

I like it, but I'm a no.

And I was a yes until Josh said his.

I'll tell you why, Rebecca, no, because now I actually agree with Josh.

But like, I think men are, we have like the most sensitive egos.

Oh, yeah.

So if you like fail at the pottery, you might invade a country to show how good you actually are.

Oh, yeah.

So I agree with you, Josh, actually.

But I think the other, so it's a no for me.

Sorry, Rebecca.

Fabian says, if I ruled the world, I would prohibit political careers.

Everyone should have an occupation outside of politics.

Government positions are a one-time thing and temporary.

These positions should be considered a rare occasion to serve the nation.

I vote yes immediately.

I also vote yes because you really want to go out like an all-star.

Yeah.

Some of these people start their political career and they're saying all the right stuff, but then you could tell after like three years, they're like beat down and they try to pass

the big over a while.

You have to be

cynical.

Yeah, they get cynical.

And then 15 years later, they're like, so.

It's like, what do you mean, so?

You don't even have to be there.

Yeah, no career politics.

I agree.

Well done, Fabian.

You just got three yeses.

Wow, that's a good one.

All right.

Senna says, if I ruled the world, I would change the curtains in fitting rooms at stores to something that provides a little more coverage because there always remains a very peak-throughable gap.

And those two curtains have never fully met.

This is very specific.

This is super specific, Senna.

Senna, did you, did someone spy on you?

This is wild.

I feel like this is a complaint for a department store, not like a suggestion for if I it's also like if you ruled the world.

Yeah.

Imagine you have all the power in the world and you use it to make the curtains in dressing rooms can i tell you right now this person is having a good life because they because they were like if i ruled the world i really wouldn't change anything

except for this one thing I mean, yes, because it's not a big deal.

Yeah, I vote yes.

I'm not against it.

I don't see any.

Yeah.

Honestly, to vote against it, low-key makes it seem like you like peeking.

So I'm also going to vote yes.

All right.

So, Senna, you got three yeses.

Julie says, if I ruled the world, I would have government-funded monthly barbecues in every neighborhood.

Huh.

I don't trust the government to buy my meat.

Well, they're funded, it's just funded.

Oh, there's funded.

So, I guess they'll just pay for you.

You can go and buy your meat wherever you like.

I've got so many questions: like, do we have to show up to the barbecues?

Not just doing the grilling, who's doing the grilling?

There's always someone to do the grilling.

The neighborhood I live in, I don't know if I'd want the people to make me meet.

Look, can I tell you right now, this feels like a bureaucratic way to get at the cookout?

You know what I mean?

I know infiltration when I see it.

This is some COINTEL PRO, okay, ultra.

Yeah, yeah.

I like the sentiment, though, because she's trying to get people to get it.

Yes, Julie's trying to get it.

Sorry, I vote yes because the heart is in the right place.

Okay.

I also vote yes.

The COINTEL PRO was a joke.

I do think that

there's a world where using government funds to build community is what government should be for.

Yes, okay.

I like that.

So I do like the idea.

Okay.

I'm going to go no, because I think people eat too much meat already.

All right.

Ben comes in and says, if I rule the world, there should be fast lanes and slow lanes on the sidewalk.

I'm just going to go no because that doesn't work on the highway.

People are just going to walk where they walk anyway.

And then who decides what fast is?

What is because you don't have a speed, you don't have a speedometer on you as a person.

What is fast?

What is slow?

I think that fast and slow is dictated by the local community.

Like, exactly.

Because then they've measured the steps of people in New York versus people in Portland.

Yes.

And it's like, by and large, all New Yorkers walk faster

in Portland.

So it's like,

I think everyone starts to figure it out once you set those lanes up.

The real problem is there's actually not enough sidewalk to go around.

Because you got to go this way and this way, and you have to do it fast and slow.

I don't know.

That's four lanes a sidewalk.

And then you've got someone like screaming at you.

This is the fast lane, buddy.

Like, how fast are you walking?

What is, I don't know.

I'm sorry, Ben.

For me, it's a no.

Yeah, it's a no for me.

It's getting real ableist right now.

Yeah, so sidewalks are really, you know,

Ben, I will tell you, though, if you're trying to make your own fast lane, just walk with your fists out.

People get out the way.

All right.

And then the last one comes from Charles, who says.

Cars should have more than just a turn signal.

There should be a little LED sign where you can send a short message to another driver like, my bad, I didn't mean to cut you off or your wipers are on or move over.

Wow, Charles, you are setting yourself up for Mad Max levels of fury on the road.

Yeah, you're gonna write messages on people's lights.

See, I would be like, sometimes I'm in the car, I'm like, oh my god, I like her hairstyle, and I'd love to be able to say it, but they can't hear me.

If I could say it with my lights, that'd be amazing.

You realize people are now catcalling from their cars.

Yeah, I never, I didn't, that didn't even cross my mind.

Yeah, that's it.

Because there's gloomy guys who are like, I like your hairstyle.

Nice hair.

Nice hair.

Nice hair.

I've been following you for a few blocks.

Hey, Hey, what's your number?

I don't see a baby seat in that back seat.

You know,

I think it would be a bit rough because they would all have to be pre-planned.

So we'd have to figure out like four or five messages you could.

No, you could have a dynamic one.

You could just have like a dynamic.

Like a dot matrix that displays the, you could just, you could like say it and then it would just show it.

I just don't think that's a good idea.

It's bad enough that we already have,

like, I don't see that.

And how would people like read the light?

That's what I'm saying.

This is what I'm just saying.

saying this is trouble.

I mean, we're getting towards that self-driving, so you're going to have to do something.

I hear you, but it's a no for me.

Yeah, it's a no for me, too.

I mean, probably a no because I don't understand it, but yeah, yeah.

I think that's what people in Congress say every week.

Yeah, I'm gonna vote no on this because I don't understand it, but I don't really get it, but yeah, all right.

Now for the big rounds.

So who wants to go first?

Josh, Christiana?

I'm willing to go as well.

Can we like do a coin tossed or pulled?

Oh, just go with rock, paper, scissors, pick it up.

Oh, so Christiana, I beat Josh.

Christiana beats that person.

You beat me.

Josh beat me and you beat Josh.

So I go first.

Okay, fine.

Then

Josh second.

Okay, let's go.

Christiana.

Okay.

I didn't think I'd lose the game of randomness, but I don't think I'd think you lost.

Okay.

If I ruled the world, I would designate mandatory reality TV for everyone over 18 for one hour a week.

You can pick whichever show you like, but you have to watch a reality TV show.

You have to watch it.

You have to watch a reality TV show.

Okay, now

you've roped me in.

Why?

Because I actually think reality TV is where so much of real life is playing out that actually like narrative TV doesn't have at the moment.

Like reality TV, you see lots of older women grappling with things like alcoholism or divorce or cancer, and or you see couples going through nursing somebody who's ill, or then you see somebody that like just killed their wife or, and they're like different races, different classes, socioeconomic groups.

It's like a very good picture into the country you live in in a way that often people are very siloed in their like media consumption, whether, you know, Fox News is one thing and MSNBC is another thing.

You can watch the real housewives of New York, Atlanta, Beverly Hills.

You don't know who is a Republican.

You don't, I fell in love with a woman and I turns out she's a big Trumper, but now I'm in love with her.

So it's like, there's no going back.

And it helps you see the humanity in people that you would otherwise not see and get to know people that you probably don't come across in real life.

It could be like you're watching a show about the Duggar family that it's not on air anymore and you're like, oh, I'm learning about like evangelical Christians who have all of these children.

Or the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is set in Mormon.

But wait, wait, wait, but people can choose the reality show.

So, what if everyone's just choosing the reality?

No, you'd be randomly assigned the show.

Okay, so you don't know which show is it?

You don't know which show it is.

And you have to watch it.

Yeah, you have to do it.

It's like you're to be engaged.

You can't be on your phone.

I mean, you can be on your phone.

I think a great thing about the reality show experience is that a lot of people tweet, live tweet when they're watching it and they're covering it on Instagram and stuff.

So if you want to connect with other viewers via social media, that's great.

And you wouldn't just make people watch a documentary once a week?

No way, because documentaries are so boring you got all those talking heads they'd be like oh my god and the statistics i hate documentaries oh my god and especially the vanity documentaries when you've like basically got access to the person so nothing bad comes up so no no not documentary let me tell you right now documentaries have that thing they're starting to get that thing where There's a real wrestling match going on with like, we want to tell your story, but also don't make me look bad, but also you have to give us enough stuff.

I'll tell you right now, there's a, one of the most incredible

soccer players, female soccer players of all time, Hope Solo, has an incredible documentary out.

And I really love the documentary because I felt like it gave me everything while still like, not protecting her, but like.

shielding us a little bit from things that would make us judge her harshly.

But there is one point in it that I really liked where they had her talking about being like the real like rabid, we need to get up to this level type person on the team like the jordan of the team and they use the b-roll and you could tell the b-roll she was cursing the shit out of those girls but they didn't play that b-roll because they they probably knew it would make her look some type of wife and she was already telling us that's what she was doing without saying the words so she's like i could be tough on my teammates right but in the b-roll is her be like

It's like like coaching while she's playing.

And so I get what you're saying where it's like the documentary has a filtered nature that reality TV doesn't have.

And people on reality TV are, by and large, the most shameless human beings on the planet.

They are social.

So you think reality TV has become more genuine than documentaries in this way?

It shows so much truth.

Like, for instance, if you watch The Real Housewise of Potomac, right now, Karen Huger is in prison for a DUI.

This is a black woman.

She called herself the Grand Dame.

Very sophisticated, upper-crust black woman

who you didn't even believe was capable of getting drunk and being sloppy.

That's the image she put out there.

And in my personal life, I've been talking about black women and alcoholism.

I'm like, I know a lot of black women who drink a lot, right?

But it's not something that we talk about publicly.

It's in our group chats or whatever.

We're seeing it play out at brunch.

And Karen is like showing this mirror to like these experiences.

And then you get, there's lots of people that go to prison for like stuff like a lot of fraud, like insurance fraud and like the time of griftery things that you have these people in these affluent suburbs that do to get their money.

That I think is a very American story, but you don't necessarily talk about.

So yeah, you get kind of these shameless people who are a bit narcissistic, who are craving fame or attention.

And I think a lot of people want attention in this country.

And it makes you fall in love with people that you never thought you would fall in love with, who are very different from you.

And shameless people are sometimes the most honest.

Shameless people do the same.

They do things for the same reasons that we do them, but we either rationalize or like rationalization is sort of lying to yourself about it.

But then there's also the lying to the world about it.

Like, no, no, no, I, I did for this reason.

Where a shameless person is like, I was trying to get the money.

I'm trying to, I got a plug.

Yeah.

Why would I not get the money?

And it will help you understand Trump.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Because people have never understood Trump.

But you think reality TV helps people understand Trump more?

Yeah, because he is a product.

I think he is a product of reality He is.

He was a type of person that would go in reality.

A lot of his facade comes from the apprentice.

Yeah.

Like, if you watch Trump pre-apprentice, watch him in interviews, watch him as a person, he doesn't have the exact same vibe to him once, you know, like post-apprentice.

Yeah.

I think because on the apprentice, they were like, no, you got to do this, and you got to, you're fired.

And they gave him the catchphrases and like the and the look.

And I think he just sort of adopted that character and he became, yeah, I can see that.

You know, when you, when you first said it, I was firmly a no.

I was like, this is a crazy idea, but I think you've won me.

I think,

one, because I think you've given a good justification.

But two, I just think we need to share more experiences as people.

So if everyone is watching a show weekly, everywhere in the world, I do like that everyone tomorrow has something to connect around.

In the office.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think we need more collective viewing, more collective, you know what I mean?

So I'm going to vote yes to reality TV

one hour every week forced upon you.

Yeah, and I think it sparks conversation you you would normally have to go to a very serious place to have like I find that like watching love is blind or watching love island gets like uh Sally and I talking about relationships in a, in a, in a way that's like fun because of what they're doing.

Yes, that has nothing to do with us.

Because if I if I just walk in the apartment cold and I'm like, what do you think about like when people don't know how to talk about cheating in their past,

it's like we're having a very different conversation.

Because then now you can't convince a person you don't mean you.

But then when we watch someone on Love Island, it is a nice

be like kind of that, that like that.

It's a great catalyst.

Yeah, exactly.

And it helps yield moments like Trevor was saying, where it's like that one very quickly, one of my favorite reality TV moments of all time is on Love and Hip Hop Hollywood.

Yeah.

When these two women were arguing, and you know how they get them drunk.

They get them drunk.

And they go to an event, but no one at the event but them.

There's no event.

And then they get to the event and they're drunk and they're arguing.

And there was this one woman who had slept with this other woman's friend's man.

And so she was trying to tell her, like, you should value yourself more.

And she's like, don't tell me to value myself.

I value myself.

She's like, he's hitting my phone, blah, blah, blah.

And they're going back and forth, back and forth.

Then the woman whose event it was,

she like clearly has been drinking too much all day and she throws up.

And the other woman goes, they're about to fight.

And the other woman goes, did you just throw up and that is the realest moment I think I've ever seen like forget the cameras for a second forget everything cause everything did you just throw up and like she almost asked are you okay but then the other girl who just threw up was trying to say face like yeah you got so much plastic surgery makes me sit to my stomach so you made me throw up she was like oh okay then that's what we're doing all right fine but like that moment i was like that's a real person yeah so i vote yes yeah and also i was gonna say i know you both voted dress i should mention 90 day fiance fascinating look into immigration.

Oh, yeah.

No, all these, you're not wrong about that.

You're really, yeah.

You're not wrong.

It is a crude look into many issues that, as Josh says so eloquently, we wouldn't get into otherwise.

I like it.

It's a yes.

Well done.

Wow.

Yeah.

You just kicked it off with a double yes.

Yeah.

There you go.

That's great.

I think this is my first double yes, maybe my second.

Yeah, I feel like you're the only person I voted for, though.

I feel like I definitely vote against Trevor every time.

Everyone votes against me.

Most of us vote against me.

Yeah, everyone votes against me.

We're going to continue this conversation right after this short break.

Okay, so I'll go.

And this is more playing God a bit than just like a government mandate if I rule the world as a dictator.

God Josh.

If I ruled the world,

I would make it

actually hurt to be stupid.

So, So, like, if somebody

is willfully ignorant,

because let me pitch you this, right?

Let me pitch you this.

Get ready.

Because I think you're against me now, and you'll be willing to.

I'm not even saying that you land.

I'm absorbing that.

I'm not against you.

I'm in shock right now.

Because

if you are someone who, in spite of everything that you know and everything you've been told, is like, you know what?

I'm going to stick a fork in the socket.

And you stick the fork in the socket, it hurts you because your dumb idea ended up getting you hurt yeah it costs you nothing to tell everyone else in the room who is impressionable to put a fork in the socket okay so if you

just by saying and knowing it's wrong put a fork in the socket it's essentially pinocchio but with pain you know you know that you're being willfully ignorant you know that you're lying you know that and so i wouldn't put my hand on the lever i wouldn't be controlling how much

but you would have to have some actual barrier because it costs people nothing to spread misinformation and it costs people nothing to like lead people for the sake of manipulation in a way that is like willfully dumb do you know i mean i don't mean people who don't know things yet that's okay this is the this is the clarification i think i'm getting so you're not saying people who quote unquote are stupid you're not saying that you don't mean somebody whose aptitude may not be at the level that no this is not what you're saying you're saying if somebody does or says something that they know is stupid yeah and they're just doing it to either act the fool or

drive people in the wrong direction.

Yeah.

But you know now.

Can you give me like more concrete examples?

Alex Jones would be in constant pain.

That's what I mean.

Someone who like like for every because what Alex Jones does that's particularly insidious is that he plays on things where whenever it's the right time and he's on the right podcast, he's an entertainer.

And he's somebody who's just like, who's just like taking the piss out of everything.

Even in court, I'm just taking the piss out everything.

but then then when when it's just you and alex and you i mean an impressionable person who really feels like downtrodden and you don't know who's to blame or if it's your fault or whatever alex is taking advantage of those people he's catering to people who need something to to blame that's like physical and they can get out there and they can like attack that person, which is why you have like Alex Jones fans like spitting on and following and harassing people who who are families of victims of school shootings and stuff like that.

Right.

Yeah.

But it's like Alex knows.

And look, if he doesn't know, then it actually wouldn't hurt that much.

But he knows.

He knows what he's doing and he knows when he's lying.

Okay.

I used to wonder if Alex was like this crazy person or if he genuinely is this grifter who knows what he's saying is false.

Because what he, the two things that made me feel like, oh, no, he knows what he's doing is anytime on the rare occasions that he is like right about something, he then uses that to leverage 19 other things that have nothing to do with that.

That's the case.

Conspiracy theorist move.

Then when the lawyer for the families who were suing Alex Jones over Sandy Hook, when that lawyer said, you have such an incompetent

counsel that they accidentally sent me your text messages, I sent that to the court saying, hey, I don't think they meant to send me this.

So it entered into discovery.

Then I let your counsel know that they had sent me this thing and they didn't respond.

So now I have all your text messages where you're saying that you know that these things aren't true.

And Alex's face, a crazy person would be like, that didn't happen or whatever.

Alex's face was like the reaction.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

So now I know that you're like, that's why he lost the case, right?

That's why he had that nice judgment against you.

And so that's what I mean.

I like, it's one of those things where

okay, but this, oh, before you go in the pain,

I think I get where you're going with this, and I may be able to follow.

I think it needs a bit of refinement.

Are you open to refinement?

Yeah, open to refinement.

All right, let's go.

So I'd be in pain if I wasn't.

So

I feel like you may be conflating

being

willfully dumb and maybe being malicious or maybe being opportunistic.

I think we're talking about different things.

I see what you're saying.

Do you know what I mean?

Because like,

yeah.

Some people are willfully ignorant, but not necessarily malicious intent.

Like you can be willfully ignorant, and you can share it.

You can be like, you don't need vaccines, drink celery juice, but that's not coming from a malicious place.

I think Josh wants pain for those people.

Yeah, they actually think they're being helpful.

But what you're describing being helpful, yeah.

What you're describing with Alex Jones.

The pain would clear it up for them.

Because this is my only pitch where I'm like, you can vote with me or against me.

I won't hold it against you.

Pass today.

The world that I'm proposing, Sans, the actual pain, is the world that we live in.

So you can go and tell people to do all these things and like, you know that they're not true and you're not actually helping anybody or you think it's true and then you see people hurt and what, but that is the world we live in.

It just takes longer and it depends on if you see the pain or not.

You don't.

You become president, right?

You become president and you fear for your life every day because I already shot at you once.

Like, I think that like,

in my opinion, most people really aren't getting away with anything in the long run of things.

This is a very comic view of the universe.

It really is, actually.

Really?

Like, really, like Buddhist principles.

I just feel like since we're already not getting away with anything, it might as well be immediate to be your own version of correction.

Because if I'm, if I'm the guy holding the fork and I put it in there, I'm like, it's immediate.

It's not worth it.

I'm not going to do it again.

How would they feel the pain?

Who administers it?

Like, this is what I want to know.

I want to know more about the pain.

I think it would be as different.

Who brings the pain, Josh?

I think it would be as different as the person.

So, for instance, I I think that, like, if I'm sitting down with Christiana and I'm like, look,

let me tell you what the third trimester is like.

I might slow down if my nose just starts bleeding a little bit.

Do you have me?

Like, this is so dystopian.

It really is.

Josh is me.

We sent Josh away.

We were like, Josh, you're too nice.

And Josh went away and he read every

like Owellian novel vibe that he could.

And Josh was like, oh, I will show you.

Cause this is

okay.

Another question.

If somebody is like determined in their willful stupidity and they're constantly feeling pain, does it get to a point where they die?

No, I don't think so.

Because you still have the same life expectancy.

You still have the same life expectancy.

I think a physical representation of the thing now is there are those people that are like very like crunchy, hippie, and everything, and they drink silver because they're like, no.

They drink silver.

Yeah, they drink silver.

I have no idea.

And so they're like, no, if I drink the silver, I won't need like a list of things that are actually like not that invasive and just like medically

because of its antibacterial quality.

I know, yeah, silver is great, but I didn't know people were drinking it.

It's like, it's like they will turn a little bit blue.

You'll see it on them.

Yes.

And they'll look like what they're going through.

Yeah, they'll look like what they're going through and they'll still be sick because you just drink a silver.

You didn't like go to the hospital.

Yeah, I mean, and I think that that version is like kind of almost the thing that I'm proposing now, where it's like, you're not walking around like, ah, ah, but I do think if you're, if you're sitting there and you know, you, you, you know, but because of like whatever biases you have, like I, I watched this documentary with someone who had left the neo-Nazi movement.

And he said that the entire time I was in there, the entire 20 years that I was a neo-Nazi, I spent all of my days and most of my life rationalizing because I was constantly being bombarded with things that showed me the world was not the way that I had both been told it was and was telling myself that it was.

And so I'm like, yeah, you're already in pain to a certain degree because now this, this like black neighbor that you have has been incredibly nice to you and mowed your lawn and everything.

Okay, and now you feel like they should have gotten that pain earlier.

100%.

And physically.

Yeah, yeah, because now he's over here.

He's this neo-Nazi who was whooping ass for 20 years and now he's like, but I've changed.

It's like, that's great.

I'm glad.

But man, maybe if your head hurt a little bit while you were like rationalizing.

What age does the pain thing start?

Uh, I think it starts when your brain stops developing, that way, everybody gets you know, okay, their little fair share.

You would like if you're a kid, like you wouldn't even understand the pain if they gave you the pain.

Yeah, okay, the frontal level, yeah,

you wouldn't even know what was happening.

Okay, you know, I think I'm ready to vote.

Okay, Trevor, you go first.

Uh, I'm going to vote no

only

because I don't think we have a clear idea of

who is or isn't being stupid in society and in life.

And I know it's a bit of a cop-out, but I think it's true.

And I think

while like Alex Jones is like an almost easy example, I think there's some examples where people will feel pain for the wrong reason at the wrong time.

And then it might shut down something that's a smart idea.

Like maybe there's someone who's like, hey, the earth is round.

We need to sail the the other way long before everyone else is saying it.

And then they're like, ah, and then they don't do it.

Or someone doesn't invent electricity.

Or I just, I just, I'm worried about that.

Yeah, it stops at the same time.

But I will say this.

I love the, as Christiana said, I love the karmic side of what you're saying.

I do think it would be great if people experienced the ramifications of their actions a lot sooner.

However, I just worry that even in our

finite understanding of what is and isn't stupid at the time that we're processing it, we might put a lot of good people in pain who might not do something that was necessary for us because they were like, I don't want the pain.

And I think pain, pain also stops people from exploring something that might seem stupid at the time that they're going to say it, but then isn't later.

And, you know, I do love the idea, but I'm going to vote no, unfortunately.

Before you vote.

Okay.

I will say, I'm not talking about imagination.

And I'm not talking, I'm talking about, I'm not even having my hand on the lever.

Okay.

You know what's a lie and and you keep telling it to people and that gives you a headache.

I think is, I, and so I get everything that you're saying.

Okay.

And I don't expect you to change your mind.

So now, but now let me ask you one question.

What if somebody is lying to like, let's say there's, there's, there's a, there's a government out there that's a dictatorship and then the police come knocking on the door trying to take, take your family away.

And then you lie to the, the, the military police.

Do you feel pain?

Oh, no.

A lie, I'm talking about a lie that is like willful ignorance.

I'm still not talking about having an imagination or a lie to like protect someone's feelings.

You know what I mean?

Okay.

Like if somebody's, it's only something where you believe the opposite completely and you are doing it.

It's really only like this.

Yeah, it's really only like the

slightly, slightly to very malicious spread of misinformation or to say that.

I'll change my vote to yes.

Wow.

I did not see that coming.

I'll change my vote to yes.

Yeah, wow.

No, no, no.

Now you can you clear that.

I'll change my vote to yes.

Okay.

So, as somebody who recently gave birth and has given birth without drugs and has a very high pain threshold, like I 3D printed a human through my vagina, Josh.

So, like,

and I was nine months pregnant.

I think you underestimate how

and then there's people that live with chronic pain, how pain can kind of just become ambient.

I think you're describing very damaged people right now.

I think Alex Jones

needs to to do a lot of like spiritual work, not to like psychologize him, but like this is a very damaged person.

And there are certain types of people that A, have a high pain threshold,

are used to chronic pain.

The pain is always ambient.

And there are some people who thrive off pain.

I forgot about the boners.

There are people who thrive off pain.

Yeah, yeah.

Nope, you're right.

I know this woman called Laura Chekaway.

She made this great documentary called Lucky about this girl who I think lives in the Bronx and she's like really charismatic and beautiful and she's covered in tattoos, right?

Yeah.

And

she says in the documentary, see, I share it on documentary, but that's actually a really good documentary.

She says they were like, why do you have all these tattoos on your face?

And she'd had a really tough life.

And she says, I can't really locate the pain I feel emotionally.

So every time I get a tattoo, I can feel the pain physically.

I'm paraphrasing it now.

And it made me look at like, you know, psychic pain a bit differently.

And look at people that have lots of piercings and people that have lots of tattoos.

Like they're actually trying to physically experience something that they only experience emotionally and can't often locate.

And I think that we're talking about very emotionally damaged people if you're like willfully putting bad information in the world for your own gain.

And I think you underestimate how many people, for whatever reasons, maybe they've had really tough lives or maybe they're sociopathic, who would actually enjoy that sensation of pain.

It's making them feel something.

Jeez.

Right?

That is, and I see, I feel like Trump is in that category because of his own damage.

He likes to feel like the thing that we're like,

everyone thinks you're awful.

You're a nasty person.

He gets a rush from that pain and that criticism.

And I do fear you would create a world where people would seek out that pain.

You basically saying we'd create like supervillains.

The Joker.

Yeah, that's what it sounds like you're saying.

Like,

you know, damn.

Look,

we're already in a world where people like self-harm for various reasons.

And I'm just like, there's part of the human experience where pain can be very validating and offers release.

My worry is that some of these bad actors feeling the pain are just going to do more bad things.

And that's why it's a no, not because I don't think it's a good idea.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, no, no.

Those

people will probably have to be tackled.

Damn, Josh.

You were closing.

I do like the underlying.

Yeah, you were close and there's something.

No, I'll keep working on it.

Yeah, keep working on it.

You know what I mean?

We've actually never done an If I Ruled the World that was a revised idea of an old idea.

That's true.

You know?

Yeah, oh, yeah.

That's true.

Okay, so you're going to come back to a workshop at

the end.

Look, it might be three if I rule the worlds later.

This is going to take time because now I forgot about a whole demographic of people at everything.

Super villains.

Yeah.

Don't forget the supervillains.

And now it's time for today's self-care toolkit segment brought to you by Amazon.

Whether it's delivering medication to your door with Amazon Pharmacy or 24-7 virtual care with Amazon One Medical, thanks to Amazon, healthcare just got less painful.

What's your sick day routine?

Because we all have one, even if we don't admit it.

There's a rhythm to it, you know?

The minute your body gives up and you surrender to the couch, everything else follows.

The food, the TV, the music, the mood.

I mean, there's movies, obviously, movies.

You can't watch anything new when you're sick.

That's a rule.

It has to be something familiar.

Something you've seen a dozen times.

For me, it's something random like The Princess Bride, Ocean's Eleven, or Finding Nemo.

Yes.

Something warm.

Something where you already know how it ends.

And that's the point.

Because I don't know where this sickness is going, man.

Oh, it's got to be music.

You know, music soft and low-key, lo-fi beats, acoustic soul, maybe a little Nora Jones, you know, if you're really leaning in.

It's less about listening and more about setting the tone, the background sound for your inner drama.

Maybe reading.

No, that was a fake.

I'm not gonna read.

Forget it.

I always think I'll catch up on a book, but let's be honest.

I stare at the ceiling or scroll through my phone at like 5% brightness like I'm decoding ancient texts.

I'm not reading a book when I'm sick.

Feels like somebody's squeezing my nose into my head.

Want me to concentrate on words written on a page?

I'm more focused on food.

Yes, food.

That's the one part I take seriously.

It has to be hot and comforting.

Ramen or grilled cheese with tomato soup.

They say the two come together to cure any ailments.

Something simple that wraps you up from the inside, you know?

And honestly, the best part is that one friend who always checks in.

You know who that friend is, or maybe you are that friend.

The, hey, I heard your voice in that meeting.

You sounded like a dying person.

Are you okay?

That friend was like, hey, I've noticed you weren't in the group chat laughing at at all the memes are you still alive yeah just that little person that little voice note or text that slips in to let you know that you matter i feel like that's part of the medicine sick days are weirdly sacred they're like a reset button wrapped in a hoodie and when you get the routine just right even being sick feels kind of bearable

well we hope you gave you some ideas for your self-care routine.

Today's self-care toolkit segment was brought to you by Amazon.

Thanks to Amazon, healthcare just got less painful.

All right, so Christiana has her two votes.

Josh only got one.

Let's see if I can get anything out of this one.

So

if I ruled the world,

I would make it so that every

thought

people are having during sex

or intimacy

comes out of them verbally, whether they like it or not.

This is insane.

Man, this man is trying to get a note.

Let me finish.

Let me finish.

Yep, yep, yep.

You will be making out with somebody.

And like in my world, it like comes out of everywhere.

Don't worry.

Don't worry about like, oh, but I'm kissing them.

No, it might come out.

It might play out of your ears.

This is the world I'm creating.

Think of it as like having a little speaker on you, not visible, but you're making out with somebody, and whatever you're thinking comes out of you.

Me, oh, I need to do the washing.

Oh, I need to do that.

That's fine, whatever it is, comes out of you.

And if you're having sex with somebody, whatever you're thinking, whatever they're thinking, it comes out of them, and the other person is able to hear it while this is happening.

Okay, this is the whole idea.

This is the complete idea, Josh.

Okay, all right, cool.

Now, I will tell you why.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, I'll tell you why.

So, the reason I think this would be a great idea is for a few reasons.

One,

because we live in a world where

nobody teaches us about sex.

Nobody.

We go to school, we learn about different types of clouds.

I know about cumulonimbus.

I know about stratus.

I know about different types of rivers, perennial, non-perennial.

Nobody.

taught me about sex at school.

Like nothing.

They taught you about like the genitalia.

That's not sex.

They did not teach you about sex.

I mean, there's a reason you can't like demonstrate sex to children.

But you're just taught about sex.

And this is the thing that...

But the best way to learn about sex is sometimes experiential.

No, no, no, no, no.

I think there's ways you can learn about a thing without doing it.

So here's the thing I think of sometimes.

We'll make these arguments, but then like go watch a cartoon.

They showed things like there's cartoons where they're shooting each other's heads off and getting blown up and all kinds of things.

You know how many times Bugs Bunny blew off Alma Fudd's head with a gun, but nobody said, you can't show kids somebody shooting someone's head off.

I mean, someone probably should have said that.

Yeah, but what I'm saying is, like, we, we will say, I'm saying sex is a good and natural part of life.

Okay.

And I'm saying in our lives, no one teaches it to us.

Now, I'm not saying, I'm not even saying when.

You brought children in, by the way.

Let the record show.

I said nothing about children.

And then Christiana all of a sudden threw children at me as if now I was saying.

I just said we don't get taught about sex.

I'm saying even when we're 21, there's no sex school.

You know what I mean?

When we're 18, there's no sex school.

So this is the first part.

No one teaches us about sex.

Secondly, we have done a terrible job at working in and around consent.

Just, let's be honest, we've done a terrible job.

The Me Too movement came and went.

And what did we actually learn from it?

Right?

Almost nothing.

Half of the people are like, well, this is why I'm not going to have a woman in my office.

That doesn't seem like the lesson we were trying to learn.

Do you get what I'm saying?

But also, we didn't dive into the nuances.

We didn't talk about how consent is fluid and is always moving and is sometimes verbal, sometimes non-verbal, sometimes culturally defined.

It's complicated.

It's difficult.

That's what I'm saying in my world.

When you are being intimate with somebody,

every thought you are having would be loudly and clearly projected to the other person.

Okay, but Trevor, why not just do the school of sex first before you have to do the thoughts?

Yes.

Okay.

Another reason for this is because

I think a lot of couples out there have sex lives that diminish over time because they're not sharing what's in their mind

and they can't like tap into it so you hear many stories of women who are not being pleasured and they don't say it to their partner and then like 15 years down the line they're like ah yeah it wasn't working for me the sex wasn't great and you're like this poor guy he didn't know he never got a chance wouldn't the school of sex help no no but the school yeah but the school remember people people fail fail in school all the time that's okay failure's okay no no no no people fail at sex all the time yeah but you see in my world it's not about the failure nor the success it's just about the raw honesty that the thing would provide okay okay yeah think of it the other way as well like there are men out there who might have like a fantasy or something they want to think about and they want to share and they can't share and then it blocks them off from their partner

both ways it can go by the way onload i don't think it's gendered i'm just saying these are examples and so i'm saying you'd be having the sex and to your point you might go oh i have to do the washing oh i have to do the dishes i have have to.

And then your husband could say to you, baby, you don't worry about the dishes right now.

I got you, babe.

You don't need to worry about those dishes.

Okay.

Okay.

I've got a couple of things.

You can ask as many questions as you can.

So there's this guy I follow on TikTok.

I forget his name.

I think we should have him on the show.

Yeah.

He's a PhD.

He's a professor who studies like boyhood and manhood.

And one of the studies they did was about what men think about during sex.

Okay.

And they got these men to speak to, you know, I don't know how they conduct this experiment.

Probably all lies, but carry on.

No, and it was very revealing.

Men said they think about other men in the sense they think about what they're going to tell their friend about their sexuality.

These are lies.

Who are these guys?

Anyway, he goes through all of these.

This is what I don't like to say.

But wait, wait, but wait.

These are lies.

Sorry, carry on.

These are lies.

Now he's become anti-intellectual because he doesn't like it.

No, these are lies.

Okay, they're just going to say, like, these are people.

Josh, okay, okay, Josh.

Josh.

He was just saying, it was interesting.

And then men think about their insecurities.

Men think, what does she think about my body?

Men, it was like very vulnerable.

Oh, yeah, but that's everyone.

That part is everyone.

And my

thing is, I don't know if men are ready for what women think about them during sex.

Because some of it is not very nice.

And you can go away with a lasting scar about what she thinks about your physical appearance.

That's great.

And I think there's a reason.

thoughts are private.

I was going to say privates are private, but thoughts are private.

No, but these privates are thoughts that are going to not not be private.

Here's a counter-argument to what you're saying.

And I'm with you completely.

Remember, in my world, you will not know the before.

Remember, these are the rules of if I rule the world.

The people are not going to now, it's not a new thing for them.

I'm just saying for all of us, let's switch it tomorrow.

We will not remember what it was.

Okay.

So

everyone will be experiencing this.

At some point, you will become immunized to it.

No, I think people just won't have sex.

You think people, you think you can stop people from having sex?

I think that's a lot of people.

People, you know that in refugee camps, people have sex.

I'm with you.

I'm just letting you know now.

Yeah, but those thoughts are pretty quiet, just like the sex.

But, man, people have sex everywhere.

I'm with you.

People in jail have sex.

Because there are no thoughts.

Yeah.

You don't know the thoughts.

Because this is what I'm.

This is, I want you to win here.

I want to see you succeed.

So these are my questions.

All right.

Do you know how good the sex can be if people reveal their intimate secrets?

They know it.

No, because they can't.

That's what I'm saying.

In my world, they are just saying it.

That's what I'm saying.

No, because

you're forcing their thoughts.

Because I'm not forcing it.

It just happens to you.

But no, because you change it.

It's like a fart that you can't block, but in your mind.

Have you smelled farts?

Yes, but that's what.

Okay, now, actually, this is a great point.

If you hang out with your friends, your closest friends, people who you really love and vibe, your kids even, you tell me that farts haven't brought you closer together.

People love to intellectualize so many things in this world.

But let's be honest, Josh, you're hanging out with somebody close to you.

You're a couple.

Any couple who's listening to this right now, you think to yourself, you're a couple, you're in bed together.

One of you farts.

Tell me that that moment doesn't bring joy into your life.

Because when you have kids, you just blame it on one of the kids.

Yeah, but it's funny.

But it's funny.

It brings you something.

You fart with your friends.

When do you not fart?

When you, you do not fart with people that you are not comfortable with, environments that you are not comfortable in, right?

In environments.

So what I'm saying is

the fart is a great measure for where you are most comfortable.

Ah, let it loose.

Let it rip.

But you're doing it.

You're consenting to the fart coming out because you're comfortable.

Yes, but the other thing is.

But I'm not consenting to the thought coming out.

And if I consent to the thought coming out, I just say it.

That's why we have mouths.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

But what I'm saying is here, I'm helping people, just letting it come out.

Okay, so I have three questions because I, once again, I think this is a very interesting idea.

When your thought comes out, can you talk while your thought comes out?

You can't talk at the same time.

You can't talk at the same time as your thought comes out.

You can't think a different thing to what you're saying.

Okay,

because you can think so fast and because you can think faster than you can speak, you could speak and then think and then the thought comes out right after the stroke word, right?

That's true.

So you could want to.

So you could say, oh, this is the best sex I ever had.

And then your brain goes, no, it's not.

Yeah.

Yes.

I just want that person to hear that.

Yeah, you can do that.

Yes.

Then the other two things, which I feel like are the sticking points for...

Can I tell you why?

Let me ask you.

So I'll tell you why.

Because I think in my world, I think there could be something beautiful on the other side of the friction that we would experience initially.

Because yes, I understand where you're coming from.

Please don't get me me wrong.

Even me myself, when I came up with this idea, I was like, Trevor, this is crazy.

To me, myself.

Yeah.

Right?

Because I challenged myself as well.

And then I thought, but think about how beautiful this moment could be.

You're having sex with somebody, right?

They go, this is the best sex I ever had.

Then their brain voice comes out and goes, no, it's not.

I've had much better sex.

Now you want to end up with a sexy sex.

No, no, no, no, no.

Now they, you can say, you wouldn't even think about what if you're sexual.

Is marriage the first time you guys are having sex?

No, but what if somebody is thinking about an ex or thinking about what this is?

i think that this opens us up to the world of intimacy that we often act like isn't happening already and i think so for instance somebody says this is the best sex no it's not then you could say oh why did you lie to me now your brain might even say people are gonna get shot trevor christiana why are you jumping men are gonna shoot their wives and wives are gonna stabiana i you understand that people are not having sex for the first time when they're married you're jumping straight to that people have had sex along the way

sure but like you've had sex along the way.

You see, hear a thought, and someone's just like, oh, her titties are lopsided.

You shank them.

I think you just...

And

I love why the intention behind it.

Like, I'm not hating on there, Jeff.

Ferrea, you want like this radical transparency and honesty and freedom and internet.

And liberation.

Yeah, just like that.

And it could be fun.

It could be fun and interesting.

It's scary and emotional.

But I'm saying that would happen only because now we're in it remember we'll become a little more robust as people this is like how we are

this is just how we are

don't go anywhere because we got more what now after this

This these are the stigma points I have right okay is that one we know this from comedy all three of us know this from comedy that sometimes you have a comedic thought which is a joke Yes, and people will see you perform the joke in a place that's that's also a setting for jokes.

Yes.

And they'll still be like, they meant it.

Okay.

So now a thought that is like a sexy thought, or I'm just thinking, or I'm thinking, whatever, is going to now seem like, cause remember, you can't hear the thoughts when we're not being intimate.

Yes.

So now the only time I hear your thoughts, it's going to be a thing that might be slightly negative or be a thing that like takes the fantasy too far.

Okay.

Because you got to remember for people who are in the like SM or anything like that, there might be a moment where it's like you're consensually choking someone who wants to be choked, but in your

head, you're like, I'm going to kill you.

And now you are never going to kill them.

You're never going to kill them.

They were audible here.

So now they're like,

no, but then they would say in their brain, please don't kill me.

That's why they stop thinking.

They would be like, you're going to kill me?

And then your brain would go like, no, I'm not going to kill you.

No, no, we're playing.

We're playing.

We're just playing.

Now you've distracted from the thing that they were enjoying, which was the like little rough, chokey thing.

Because now you had to think around the thing you would have been.

I can take this.

I've got something as well.

Okay.

Because, like, because I'm married, I'm just in like married and couple lands.

Yes.

What does this mean for casual sex?

Because most sex, really, that people are having, like, whether you're someone you swiped on Tinder or Grinder, it's a stranger.

It could be someone you met at a club.

Loving it.

What does it mean for casual sex?

What do you mean?

What does it mean for because then it could be like an encounter and it's I think it would be great.

And the guy's like, oh my God.

Think about

what if my wife finds out and you're like, well, shit, you go.

But that's fantastic.

You see, you're just telling me a good thing.

No, that's double stabs.

Because now

you guess.

But remember, I said when you are being intimate.

So I'm saying, even like when you start kissing, and remember,

I didn't just say sex.

I said the intimacy, as soon as you're intimate,

stops then.

Yeah.

So like from the moment, you know that moment where we like, we like look at somebody and then there's the silence then we think something.

Then the voice would come out and be like, I wonder if now is a good time to kiss them.

Isn't there something, isn't there like an app that we could, I think there's just something that's an in-between.

I think like I like the school of sex thing that you were talking about that we don't have.

Yes.

I think there's lots of steps we can get to before this kind of black mirror world where people know sex.

Because you got to call before you kiss.

This is the only other thing that I have.

I'm not saying it's a terrible.

It just feels like the most extreme version of this problem we're trying to to solve it does feel like radical honesty but i think that there's there's a world where because you and i trevor are both men and we understand what men are like yes i had to sit down a couple of my friends who did not believe me when i told them there were there were plenty of men in this world who will act flamboyant they'll even act gay to like get in with you and now that they're your gay best friend and y'all touch or y'all play or whatever now you're like, oh, I've never thought about you this way, and I've never been with a woman.

All lies.

All lies.

But literally that much of a long game.

And I worry that you will create Jedis

of men who know their thoughts are going to be heard.

So they're like, I got to, because you got to remember.

You got to remember.

A lot of dudes are trying to be able.

to control their thoughts to that point 100% because this is the thing.

They know when it's going to be turned on.

So they know how they have to think for it then they know when it's going off so then they can be like

okay right right after she leaves i'm saying already in this analogy yes a lot of guys during sex are trying not to end sex they're fighting to keep the sex going yes so a lot of what you'll hear are baseball statistics

a lot of it'll

a lot of it'll just be like the great bamboni

and so now she's like like, why is he, why is he just doing numbers in his head?

But I think you are spending, you are doing what

I did when I first heard about Airbnb and Uber.

The first time I heard about Airbnb, I was like, this is never going to work.

I remember hearing about it as a concept.

They said, this is an app.

People stay at strangers' houses.

I was like, this will never work.

Nobody is going to allow a stranger to come into their home and live there.

Sometimes stay with them.

That'll never happen.

Nobody trusts each other.

Uber, I remember being like, this is the craziest idea I've ever heard.

You're telling me people are going to drive their own car to pick you up and they don't know you and they're not a professional driver.

They're just a random driver.

I was like, I don't know.

And yet, look, we get into Ubers with strangers all the time.

We go live at Airbnbs all the time.

And yes, there's the occasional friction.

I'm not saying it's perfect.

But for the most part, it works.

And I, I honestly, both of you, as brilliant thinkers and as my friends, I hear what you're saying.

But I think you're focusing on the friction side of it more than you are on what comes from the other side of it.

So to your point, I think there would be something beautiful in the person who's having sex with the man going, baseball stats?

And then he goes, yes.

I'm trying to prolong my ejaculation.

I'm trying to make sure that I don't ejaculate.

Oh, oh, oh, just did it because I mentioned it.

And now where are we?

See, you interrupted my snaps.

No, but you see, but now I think it opens up.

There's an intimacy because now she can go, oh, why are you trying that hard not to ejaculate?

Oh, I think there's like something that can open up in a way that right now we don't have in sex.

This is what I'm saying.

Why don't you just go to a sex therapist?

Christiana, how can people just afford sex therapists' random?

You rule the world.

You can give sex therapy away for free.

Yes, but now that's like everyone has to go through the thing and do the thing.

I'm just

instantly, we're in it.

I really need you to sell me on what the upside of this is.

I'm really, I'm really sure.

I'm not focusing on the dimension of the only, the only, so the only, okay, I'll tell you, there are three upsides to this.

So this can help you on the upside.

So there are three upsides that I think.

Upside number one, I think we lose a lot of intimacy and sex because we hide

numerous things.

We hide the fact that we're uncomfortable.

We hide the fact that we don't know how we feel for the other person.

We hide so many things that I think rob us of the intimacy that we could be experiencing.

So from fresh hookups all the way to married couples.

You know how many guys out there have no idea how quote unquote terrible the sex was with the girl they were with?

And she's like, I don't know if I can, I really like the date that we went on, but that was just horrible.

And this person doesn't know.

They're a nice person.

And then maybe they become less of a nice person because they're like, why don't I get second hookups?

Or we go on dates and they like me, but this happens, right?

And then also for a woman, it's like, imagine what it's like to be in a world where you're not getting great sex because you don't want to hurt the person's feelings, but now it's not you.

The thing is just happening to her.

So the first thing I'm saying is, I think it would open up a lot of intimacy channels.

These are the upsides.

I understand the downsides.

I think another thing it would do is it would help people voice the moments where they're uncomfortable, where I think sometimes the other person doesn't even know.

And I think this can happen both ways.

Sometimes people are uncomfortable.

And it would be great if your brain could just say, I'm uncomfortable.

And then you go, oh, damn, you're uncomfortable?

Okay.

But don't you worry that by creating this shortcut, then people just aren't going to do what I think is the proper work of spending time and getting to know someone.

And whether it's your casual hookup or whether it's like people have been together for a long time, if you know their thoughts are just going to be downloaded to you.

You're like, I'm not going to ask my wife about her day.

I just know during sex, I'm going to hear about, oh, that bitch in the office was talking about me.

No, but that depends on what people think about during sex.

I think we should give people some credits.

Some people are able to really focus on this the sex.

We can't focus.

We're on our phones all the time.

No, I think there's a lot of times when people are having sex going, this feels amazing.

I love this person so much.

I'm so lucky.

What an amazing experience.

I don't want to, yeah, whatever it might be.

But I, but I think there are, I think there are those upsides.

Okay.

And so I'm willing to take a little bit of the friction for what I think could be a beautiful, open, honest, and interesting conversation that we could be having during sex.

This is the thing I was going to say that might help you.

Who knows?

People probably, I'm assuming, don't quite have some of the sensitivities that they have in our current world.

That's what I mean, because in the room, it's always been like this.

It's always been like this.

It's always been like this.

It's always been like this.

So they just know that that's what happens during sex.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

It's the same way.

You're asking me, like, do I want to live in a world where this is true?

That's what I mean.

Because think of it this way.

Thank you, Josh, actually, because think of how crazy our current sex is.

Imagine if we we lived in an alternate universe and i had pitched this to you and i said if i ruled the world i would make it so that whenever people orgasm their face goes like this and then they go like

i don't think either of you would say yes to that sure sure you would go why would you might even say why would anyone have sex yeah if you're gonna end it with

why would anyone have sex so I thank you, Josh, because that is exactly what I'm saying.

Yes, to us, it is weird now because we think tomorrow it'll be that.

But for the people of this world that I rule, it will be like that.

There was no other way.

And so I think their journey will come with different frictions, but I think a more holistic, honest, and intimate experience.

Okay.

I think I might be out of questions, but I guess my, my other thing is that not to lean heavily on the friction forever, but I guess there are things of like, even if we're having a coffee together

and you just keep checking your phone,

you're giving me the impression you want to be somewhere else and you want to do something else.

Yes.

So then when I'm like, hey, are you late?

Do you need to go?

Whatever.

And you're like, no, no, no, I'm fine.

But then you do keep doing this.

That for me,

I think you'll have a hard time while sex will become more honest and more like understanding of what the experience was for both people.

I wonder if you...

would not actually slightly increase the amount of bad sex because of just how the brain works.

Even in your alternate universe where people know this is going to happen, there's still a level of like, sex is already the most intimate thing you can do with a person.

So if they are clearly thinking about someone else or don't want to be there while consenting in a way,

like don't

you think that's a good question?

You know, I think in this world, we haven't considered sex workers.

And if you're a sex worker and it's, it's your occupation, sometimes you're at your job and you're not enjoying your job yeah i'm thinking about sex workers yeah because i'm a real friend to a restaurant and then they're taking your order but they're also like this dumbass forehead like that like that would that would be like oh i don't even know if i want to yeah

and i just feel like for people that do sex work in this unit because there's going to be sex work prostitution it's the oldest job in the world yeah there's no multiverse okay where it doesn't you don't have it um i feel like if you're a sex worker and you know that every client is going to have insight into what you're thinking, it makes the job harder.

And their work is hard enough as it is.

Okay.

Yeah.

I'm ready for my votes.

Okay.

So I'm actually going to vote yes.

Right.

I'm voting yes because I do think there are a lot of people who don't deserve to be having sex.

And this will ruin them.

This will

take them down, right?

Like I said before about us being men and us like knowing what other men are like.

And I'm like,

if there was a thing that was not me as your friend to like one of my female friends, right?

Who was telling on him right now, if there was something he could do that could tell on himself, maybe you'd finally see it.

Yeah, and that's a good point.

And I think that only in a world like this will that happen.

Yeah.

And so I would say, yeah, I do consider the sex work part of what you're talking about because then sex workers would have to become Jedi experts at like, but nobody can in my world.

They can't do the Jedi experts.

It's what's in your mind.

It's what's really in your mind.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Well, then

it's worth the takedown of terrible people.

I think that's a good question.

So I'm going to vote yes.

Thank you so much.

Yeah.

No surprises.

I'm going to vote no.

But

I actually do appreciate the problem you're trying to solve.

Okay.

And I think

if the steps before getting to this like brain thing are good steps.

And I just worry like an Elon Musk type could hack it.

You know, it's just no, there's no hacking.

It's in my world.

It's perfect.

Unhackable.

The idea is not even perfect.

So how can your world behind it?

But I mean, the execution is.

You know what I think could have won Christiana over, though?

Is if your world where you do this thing is like the

total recall thing.

So you put the thing on and then you can hear the thoughts.

But it's like a thing that you have to switch on.

No.

Okay, Trevor.

Because you could sway me to be a yes.

Is there an opt-in, opt-out option?

Oh.

Oh, that's interesting.

I'm in for that.

So if there's opt-in option.

Oh, yeah, I'm definitely in for that.

Wait, I vote yes.

Wait, no, then I got to vote no.

How did I just lose you?

Because every dude I was trying to destroy will now opt out.

Yeah, but now he'll convince his girl.

But now, wouldn't that be so?

Okay, I hear what you're saying there.

But I mean, that would be suspicious.

Imagine you're going to have sex with someone and it's like, so we both, we both, you want to do some honest sex?

And they're like, nah, I don't do that.

Yeah, what do you think condoms are, bro?

Like,

that's what.

So people do it half the time.

Hey, hey, you on birth control or whatever, right?

Okay.

Like that, like, that.

Okay.

All right.

So I would get a yes from you, but then I would flip to a no from you.

I'm sorry.

Whose vote do do you value more?

Oh, the opt-in is so much fun.

Yeah, opt-in, opt-out, I think it's great to see.

Opt-in makes it so much fun.

Let me tell you something about opt-in or opt-out for couples.

That can be the thing that makes it really risky.

So like, are we going to wear the headset tonight?

I actually like this a lot.

Just like the idea of like, yo, you want to be in my head tonight?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

There's something sexy.

So if it's opt-in, opt-out, absolutely.

But if it's like a thing that a feature all humans have in this science fiction.

No, look, I like yours because it just brought more mischief into my world.

But I actually like it being everyone and everything because I think sometimes people are tired and they don't want to have sex and then they have sex and then there's too many things.

So I still like it.

No opt-in, no opt-out.

No manipulation, no one convincing you to opt in or telling you why you should opt out.

Someone's going to make a church of opt-outers and be like, it's sinful to opt in.

There'll be a whole thing.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Then it's a no.

Okay, yeah,

it is a yes from me.

Well, I'll take my one vote.

Josh got one vote for his if I rule the world.

I got one vote for my if I rule the world.

And Christiana, once again, you are the champion of if I ruled the world.

Thank you to everyone who submitted their

suggestions to us, by the way.

For all of you who got the yeses, I envy you.

And to all of you who got the no's, I feel your pain.

I feel it like Josh, like Josh sent it to me in my bones.

This was fun.

Thanks, yo.

Yeah, thanks.

What Now with Trevor Noah is produced by Spotify Studios in partnership with Day Zero Productions.

The show is executive produced by Trevor Noah, Sanaz Yameen and Jodi Avigan.

Our senior producer is Jess Hackle.

Claire Slaughter is our producer.

Music, Mixing and Mastering by Hannes Brown.

Thank you so much for listening.

Join me next Thursday for another episode of What Now.