Vanessa Bayer

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I was almost your daughter-in-law.

Wait.

Welcome back to where everybody knows your name.

For today's episode, I'm talking to a native of Cleveland, Ohio.

Not that that's, you know, overly strange or unique.

She's Emmy-nominated comedian and actor Vanessa Baer, who is unique.

Vanessa was a cast member on Saturday Night Live for seven years, and it's not hard to see why she was such a fan favorite on that show.

Not only is she hilarious, she's joyful, kind, or at least to me, and has a great sense of humor about life, even though she's had to overcome some adversity, and you'll soon hear all about it.

As I found out, we were very nearly related.

That was not the adverse part.

I think you'll love her as much as I do.

Here she is, finally, Vanessa Baker.

Hi, Vanessa.

I'm so thrilled about this.

Yeah, me too.

Me too.

I'm a fan, and you're so talented.

And I love this.

I don't know about you and your podcast.

And the name of the title is

How Did We Get Weird?

That's our podcast.

Yes.

How did you guys get weird?

And why did you think that'd be a great name for it?

Do you feel like you guys are weird?

Yes, we're so weird.

I mean, who isn't, I guess, but

we got into it because we would sort of always be texting each other.

Like, do you remember this thing from when we were little?

From, I'm trying to think of an example.

Like

when we were little, there was this commercial on a lot for

this wildlife.

card set where it was a guy, you got a safari hat and a different card with a different.

The thing that people remember is that this kid open, like sees the card and he says, it's a duck-billed platypus.

Is this ringing a bell for anyone?

I'm looking around the studio and no one.

Where did you get these cards?

Where did one?

You had to order them off the TV.

Oh, and you'd get a card.

It was sort of a, it was like, it aired a lot during like Mr.

Wizard and stuff.

So we would, we would text each other and be like, do you remember this thing?

And then we'd both go into these deep rabbit holes of like looking up all this nostalgic stuff, not because anyone needed us to, just because in our own time, we wanted, didn't have the time to do that.

So then we thought, how fun would it be to do a podcast about nostalgic things that we actually, you know,

served a purpose for us to be doing all of this nostalgic research, et cetera?

Is he older or younger?

He's two years older.

And so he got me into some, there's some nostalgic stuff that I know about that's like a little older than me.

Not to brag, but it's it's kind of a cool, fun fact about me.

Which part that you know?

That I know stuff like, especially we started watching MTV when we were really young because he loves music and

has always been in that world.

And so I know a lot of music that's like two years older than what I should know.

Right.

So wait, growing up.

Pre-15,

when life changed for you,

what was that like in Ohio?

Were you a normal middle-class

family?

Yeah.

Your mom and dad, are they still a big part of your life?

Yes, they are.

Yeah.

We, I think we had a pretty normal upbringing.

We were in a suburb and

yeah, I think I just loved hanging out with my brother.

He didn't really want to hang out with me until we were older because I was his not cool younger sister.

And

yeah, I did like after school theater program and I did I was sort of like a pretty typical um

little gal

with interests like typical yeah like I like theater a lot I'm trying to think of what which I stopped doing when I was older I wasn't as into that in high school or anything but in in middle school I did the after-school theater program I know I've mentioned that now several times

um I don't know I really liked reading I liked I loved I always loved hanging out out with my friends and sort of doing impressions of our teachers and stuff like that.

So entertaining the troops even early on.

Yes, very much.

And I would say my first impressions were always my teachers.

And even though I loved school and

I was a very good student,

I found just endless comedy in the way that my teachers acted.

And, you know,

yes.

My dad was like sort of the comedian and still is like the comedian among his friends like he was always doing impressions and stuff for his friends that's where i think i got a lot of that from and so it it you know it sort of was like you know we were always doing like

a bit of a comedy um

you know an ensemble uh performance at our house yeah for me it was my mother really my mother anything creative she would celebrate and laugh at all my little silly stupid things,

but just unconditional joy over anything I attempted that was creative.

Yes.

She hated real guns.

She wouldn't buy me toy guns, but if I carved out of wood a little pistol-looking thing, she would celebrate the creativity of it.

Yes.

I had a similar thing where when I was really little, my mom wouldn't buy me a lot of costumes and stuff like that, but I would take curtains and make dress.

Like she would let me just kind of, in some ways, rip the house apart and get materials and sort of like make my own dresses and stuff.

And that was, you know, I mean, she would let me wear stuff out of the house.

I looked insane all the time.

And then I would, um, I, I had really short curly hair.

Like people said I looked like orphan annie and stuff.

Oh well, you have it on your pocket.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's great.

I know, it's great.

And it's crazy.

And

I would put, my mom would help me tie this really thick yarn into my hair that I felt like made it look like I had long hair because it would be around my head and then hanging down.

And then I would get those like packs of berettes that has like 20 different berettes of different colors and different like designs.

And I would just put all 20 in my hair.

And then I would put two kind of near my ears to look like I had two earrings.

And this is, and my, and just put like, throw on like a bathing suit and a tutu and I'm ready for school.

And yeah.

And school would welcome you with open arms.

They would welcome me i my friend emily later told me she was scared of me uh i think she probably wasn't the only one i'm a little nervous

but um but yeah i would dress like that and my mom actually she was interviewing for a job at the jcc in our community and it helped her get the job i guess because a woman who um a woman who ran

who was interviewing her had seen me and was like carolyn really lets her daughter express herself.

And I think that's like a good quality in someone.

Yeah.

So actually that's your mom's name.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So

I guess it, yeah, it benefited everyone.

I have to geek out for a minute because I'm almost embarrassed talking to you because I'm still kind of being the fan for a moment, but you have, you have an ability.

One Saturday Night Live person I know really well and adore is Will Forte.

Yeah.

And you, and if this comparison is odious for you, I'm sorry.

But you, let me just talk about you, but there's a similarity.

His,

your world that you create, a character, the character lives in this world that is insane and weird and wonderful and just off the charts.

And then you inhabit that.

world in such a real genuine way.

I did think you're a great character actor.

I really do.

Thank you so.

Thank you so much.

I'm such a huge fan of yours.

That's me, just geek.

Sorry.

I'm beginning to relax.

I love cheers.

I just started re-watching it recently before I knew I was doing this podcast.

And it's, you're so great in it.

And also,

I hope everyone always,

I'm such a huge Three Men and a Baby fan.

Thank you.

I mean, you just, you were such a part of, I don't know.

It's, you know, and I haven't watched Three Men and a Baby recently, but how old are you?

Man, I'm 41, almost 42.

Right.

So I was kind of the perfect, I was on the younger side of the Three Men and a Baby demo, but I loved it.

And I watched, and I love Three Men and a Little Lady.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I have a list of my credits.

We can just go one by one.

But you truly are a great character actor.

I really believe that.

And I only got to see clips

because I missed for some reason.

What is the name of the show you did on?

Oh, I love that for you.

Yeah.

I love it.

Yeah.

I can't.

Is that over?

We're trying to figure out a way for it not to be.

Yes.

We must.

Because it really is wonderful.

Thank you so much.

I have something that I wanted to tell you, which is that I was almost your daughter-in-law.

Wait, are you talking Charlie?

In real life, Charlie.

Charlie and I went on a date.

Oh, I love her.

I love this.

And can you, okay,

let's talk trash.

Can we talk trash?

I know we're drinking.

No, no.

So

we went on a date.

I know we're drinking.

Are these from Cafe Gratitude?

That's where Charlie and I went.

We went on a

we went on a coffee date.

Right.

I think it went well.

Okay.

There was.

There was some texting after.

Yeah.

And I'm thinking.

Which is a sign, right?

Of course.

You know, if there's no texting after, then it's over.

Yeah.

But there was texting after.

okay and you know i

i we didn't like we haven't i know he's like married now and and he has a you know beautiful very talented wife and i know her dad is very cool but

but my dad is cool too you know what i mean and i my not only does he have a packaging company so just just to kind of

suss out him versus Phil Collins, like just thinking about

he has a package company.

Like if you, let's say you buy a CD.

Go on.

Yes.

I'm fascinated.

And you open it and then you decide you don't want to keep it.

Right.

Well, you can't return it because you took off the shrink wrap.

Well, that's where my dad comes in.

He puts

he can shrink.

When we were in high school, he would shrink wrap stuff.

You know, it might be considered a petty crime or whatever, but he would shrink wrap stuff and we could return it.

Not only that,

we'll take that in for a second before I tell you another cool thing about my dad.

Because

that would enamor me to you right away.

I don't know what charming

problem is.

Well, okay.

And again, not trying to talk trash about anyone or anything, but that would have been your life had, you know what I mean?

And also, my dad claims to be the first Todd.

The first.

The first person to ever be named Todd.

Do you think that's true, Vanessa?

Well, I support it

blindly.

Right.

You know, I do think that his parents had a unique thought of, you know, Todd is a last name generally.

Let's take this name and make it a first name.

And but and so I believe that, but it may be other people did this.

It doesn't matter.

I think he generally is the first Todd.

Did you have a chance to tell this to Charlie?

Because I can't believe.

I know that things didn't.

Well, the thing is,

I hope it isn't something I did, but I think I I think things went really well right and I just can't you just see like me at all of your family yes you know totally me and Todd and Carolyn and my brother Jonah and we're coming over

and we're and we're going hey you know what do you need wrap we'll take it back to Cleveland and we'll wrap it for you and I mean hey do me a favor we have to text do you still have his tech number of course I do of course you do and by the way

and by the way, like we texted,

we did try to see each other again.

Not recently, though.

Please come.

No, not recently.

Not recently.

Not recently.

No, no, no, no.

That'll get all over TMZ.

We didn't know, not recently, but after the date, we were trying to make plans again.

And it didn't ever happen.

Now, how do you know it was we tried to get together?

Well,

but it's just a side note.

And I've met your wife, very briefly.

I've met your wife, Mary Steen Virgin, and I was like, she would be a great mother-in-law for me.

She would.

And

anything cellophane really appeals to me.

Yeah.

She's probably buying stuff all the time.

She changed my time.

I changed my mind.

You're allowed to change your mind.

How am I going to package this back up and return it?

It's already been open.

Again, that's where the first tie comes in

we try don't don't this is slightly getting a little sad what don't don't plead with charlie i think that'd be well no no no no no i'm happy for him i'm just saying there was a moment in time when i was could have been when i was basically about to be your daughter

And I think we were texting once after the first date.

Again, this is years ago.

This is well before he started seeing his group, just to be clear.

I think he was in like Martha's Vineyard with you.

Yeah.

And I thought, well, what if I get to go there and I get to meet everybody?

Oh, that would have been,

we would have had a weekend.

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Okay, this is what happens to me when I do banter with a professional, and you're a professional banterer.

I start to panic.

No.

Really?

I get scared.

Like when my sister would chase me around the corner, I'd be ahead of her, but I'd stop and scream at some point because it was just too much for my nervous system.

You're too much for my nervous system.

So simmer down, please.

Okay, I'm done.

I'm done.

But I'm glad we talked about it because I think about it not that often, like once a

we're immediately cutting a clip and sending this to Charlie

and Lily Collins, who you would adore.

I'm sure I would love her, and I'm a huge Phil Collins fan.

Do you think that the three of you are definitely Lily Collins fan?

But I'm, I, both of them.

Is your dad is Todd alive?

He is alive.

Oh, so Todd, Phil.

The thing is, why not invite us to your next?

You You are going to be so kafflutzed when you get an invitation from the entire family.

You are going to have to deliver.

I'm going to have to come bring Todd and Carolyn and Jonah and his wife Vicki.

And we'll all, you know, we'll bring, tell us what to bring.

Now, was the company of your dad's, the cellophane rewrap thing,

is that true?

It is, yes.

And is it still true?

Because there aren't that many CDs.

You know,

kinds of packaging.

So a lot of times, do you know what a blister pack is?

No.

A blister pack is, I know this because of my dad, obviously.

It's like, you know, when you sometimes buy two.

It's got a little bubble blister thing.

Exactly over it.

Like two,

one bug spray and you get one free, you know, and it's on a cardboard backing and it's got like a plastic thing over it.

That's a blister pack.

Oh, gotcha.

Gotcha.

I'm trying to think of other examples.

They're sort of escaping my mind.

But,

and he doesn't, he has, he has since sold the company, but he goes in several times a week because he loves it so much.

And there's a guy who he sold it to, who I feel is his sort of, is sort of the child he never had because my brother and I, he was like, Do you want to take over this packaging business?

And we were like, no.

But this guy, you know, loves, loves him, and they're both into like fishing and stuff like that.

Okay.

I'm going to yank us away from this.

Okay.

Okay.

Because once again, I'm scared.

Okay, so this is a little vision of your life in there, pre-15.

And you talk about having leukemia.

So is this an okay thing to be talking about?

Of course.

Because I had to inform your comedy.

Yeah.

Well, let me jump ahead before I ask technical stuff.

But

I think that if I'm guessing, having not survived something at age 15,

most people don't have to live with the possibility of dying at age 15.

And if you get through to the other side of that,

to me, it must be, what the fuck?

I'm going to go for life.

There's nothing holding me back.

I just faced that, got through it.

It must be kind of like being an aristocrat.

You're kind of above some fear because you did it.

You dealt with the unmentionable.

Is any of that ring a bell or not?

So

um

i think

after getting through that experience

it's funny because i don't necessarily think about it that way but i think that what you're saying is correct it's like i sort of felt because i do have especially when it comes to my career in this weird way i have this like

almost um

almost like I'm living on another planet sense of like confidence about it.

And I don't say that, I don't mean that I'm like egotistical about it, I hope, but just about what?

I guess about like my career and stuff.

It just like in my mind, I'm like, I, I,

I have like,

um, I always feel like everything is like great and gonna be fine because I think because I went through that thing, I just, I think I do have this sense of like, I'm gonna be fine.

I can get through this, like, no problem, a little bit type of thing.

And, um,

and

i think being sick at that age um

it brought out like a lot of characteristics that were already i think in me but made them strong like i even comedy i was you know like i said when i was younger i was already doing impressions of my teachers and stuff like that but then when i got sick i realized doing that kind of stuff and maybe i'm going off topic but doing that kind of stuff made my friends feel really comfortable and reminded my friends and my family that i was still the same Vanessa, you know, still alive.

Don't be mourning.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, and talk to me about stupid school gossip stuff.

Like you don't have to just be like, how are you?

You know, I want to still know, I'm still a teenager.

I still want to, I'm still the same.

And so the comedy, and we, my, as I was saying, my dad was really funny.

And we were always joking about things in our house about me being sick too.

And the way, even like the way,

if people were being really like sort of pitying towards me, me, I found that to be funny sometimes because I think that was easier than it being depressing.

You know what I mean?

But also,

maybe not.

You didn't think this at the time, but it's so smart, too.

I mean, if you want to heal, you live in the moment and love and joy and laughter and humor as opposed to pity, sorrow, fear, or scared.

And if you have to host everybody's fear

for you,

you you know,

it would drag you and your health down.

But being able to defang it with humor was so smart, I think.

Thank you.

Yeah, it was really helpful because, and I think I went into it.

I was always sort of an optimistic person.

And I think that helped with that too.

Like, I never really got into a very dark place emotionally, especially, you know, when I, while I was going through it.

And, um, and

like

it is really, if you can, if you can get yourself there, it is really funny how people treat you when you're sick because like this

great aunt of mine sent me like a bracelet like

Now's not the time.

I

I don't have anywhere to wear this thing.

I had to break it to you, but it's like thanks for the

hospital band Thanks for the bracelet because I'm sick.

And people just, it's so funny what people do and say to you.

And also, and this is, this all relates to, and relates to my show.

And it's when I used to do more stand-up, I used to do stand-up about it.

But

the perks you get are like out of this world, too.

If you can focus on that and sort of like bring your mind to that, like being in high school, like all you want to do is come in late.

You know, you don't, and you can come in late as much as you want when you're safe and they don't, they think it's because you're like throwing up, but you're like, no, no, no, no, no, I just, I'm a teenager.

I wanted to sleep.

Exactly.

I finally got a TV in my room and I wanted to take advantage of it.

And because you're watching in the morning.

Okay.

And

it just, I didn't have to do gym class.

That's like the thing.

That's the example that I use for people that if someone's talking to, that's the, that's the biggest thing that I feel.

I didn't have to keep, imagine being a teenager.

You hate going to gym class.

You have to change into the outfit and you have to get sweaty in the middle of the day and then get right back into your clothes.

I didn't have to do it.

No fun.

Yeah.

How about your folks?

Yeah.

Because I think sometimes being the parent of somebody who is going through stuff is really hard.

Yes.

Did

they ever shared with you how that was for them?

Or did you see it?

I could see it a little and I knew,

you know, I knew they would trade places with me in a moment.

And they, but they,

it's interesting.

They didn't let me see a lot of their real, um,

they, they didn't, I think they didn't want to burden me with like how emotional they were feeling about it.

Um, but I got really close with them and with my, my mom and I got so close that like we would get stomachaches at the same time and stuff.

She was always around and she was

her JCC job, which, you know, I helped her get,

she was, she was like able to take a lot of time off and just be with me all the time.

And that was so, we have such an incredible mom to this day because of that, you you know, so, but I know it was horrible for them, but they were able to have some fun with it too.

Like my dad,

my dad would call it dropping the album when he would use it, my leukemia as an excuse.

Like he got, this, I feel weird because this is all stuff that I've done stand-up about.

I'm not trying to do my stand-up to you, but

he did get pulled over for speeding once.

And by the way, this was like years after I was done with Freeman.

And he said, like,

my daughter has leukemia and I can't stop thinking, sorry.

And he didn't get the ticket.

And like, he like came home and he was like, I dropped the Elma.

Like people, we would come home with examples all the time left and right of like, hey, I said you had leukemia and they gave me this thing for free.

You know, like it was, it was, I'm sure it was horrible for them, but they were able to get themselves at times, you know, when they were with me to that place when I needed it to be.

Yeah.

So were you home for a period of time or would it be treatments that would keep you home?

But you kept doing high school at the same time.

Yeah.

so I got diagnosed over spring break of ninth grade, and then I didn't go back to school for the rest of ninth grade.

I did treatment.

Can I jump in just that moment, though?

What was that moment?

It probably was not,

oh, I'll find a humorous way to deal with this moment.

Was it kind of stunning or not?

It was so weird to be like, you're not going back to school for the rest of the year.

I was like, I remember being in the hospital and being like, that's crazy.

Like, I'm not, I'm, I guess I'm done for the school year.

But, and I'm not trying to be a comedian and turn everything into comedy, but,

but I,

people would like were visiting me in the hospital and it was really fun to see them.

And then my brother would, so my brother went back to school.

And as I said, he's two years older.

And he would come home from school and I'd be like, Jonah, who asked about me today?

And like, so all of a sudden, I was getting as someone who already liked attention, I was getting like all this attention.

And I was like, okay, this kind of rocks.

And I went to,

I remember I went to like a football game

and I wore like my new wig that I had just gotten.

And people were like, my best friend, Gwen, who's still my best friend, went with me.

And she was like, it was almost as if she was my security guard, like blocking people from being able to like say, like, it was just like everything felt like

everyone was so concerned about me.

And of course,

you know, I'm focusing on the

whatever, but everyone was so concerned about me.

And I liked that everyone was thinking about me.

Yeah.

You know, as an actor, it's like, what, what could be better than everyone being like, what's going on with her?

Yeah.

And, and, yeah.

Can we jump into make a wish?

Because didn't that happen in your life?

Yes.

I have a cra I, yeah.

I went to, I, cause

just, I love make-a-wish and I and I try and and and support them, you know, in any way I can.

Um, I don't know why I said that, but the, but it's true.

Okay, that's why I said it.

Um, but I did do a make-a-wish trip, and that's just so people know.

People think that you have to be terminal to do make-a-wish and you just have to have a life-threatening disease.

Okay, so I fit the.

And I got to go to Hawaii with my family.

But my first wish was actually

what I thought I was going to do is I was really into my so-called life.

I don't know if you ever watched that show with Claire Danes and Jared Leto.

And I had such a crush on Jared Leto and I was like, I want to, I think I'm going to try and meet Jared Leto because you can meet anyone, get anything, or go anywhere.

Those are like the three things you can do.

And at the time, a lot of people

computers and the internet were like really popular then.

And a lot of people were getting computers, which I was like, I got to meet someone.

Anyway, so I was like, maybe I'll meet Jared Leto.

And then, and this is kind of an example of what I was telling you about, like how it sort of gave me this weird confidence.

As a teenager, I said to my parents, I actually don't think I'm going to have my make-a-wish be to meet Jared Leto because I'd rather meet him when we're peers when I'm older.

At age, what?

Did you say that?

17.

That's brilliant.

I know.

And then I was presenting at the MTV video awards, like a couple years into my time at SNL.

And so was he and that's where I met him which is crazy

yeah you do manifest really well I guess so I guess so so um so but then I went to Hawaii with my family and it was incredible it was just where'd you go we went to Maui and we I can't remember the name of the hotel we stayed at, but we were in the presidential suite.

And I remember we were like so into the bathrooms and all the stuff.

And we got to like go out to, it was so fun.

It was just great.

And it was great to get that time with my family you know and i remember a limo took us to the airport and i had never been in a limo before and i was like this is

this is life you know

and you do you work with make a wish i um i have hosted a couple of their galas and um

and when i lived in chicago i volunteered with them a bit and so i try and sort of stay uh

knowledgeable about what they're doing and if they need me to do something.

Yeah.

We've done stuff, but it's usually because somebody won a lunch with, it's to raise money for that I haven't, but I haven't really hung around with

the organization, which

I should.

Sometimes make a wish kids would come to SNL.

And that was really special for me because I was like, oh my God, that this is your wish.

And I get to be part of it.

And then I would also think like, maybe I should have done this, but I got to work there.

So that's cool.

Okay.

So you got a clean bill of health when?

When I stopped treatment the summer before my senior year of high school and I had a big end of chemo party at my house.

And it's funny when I was.

A costume party or a fist party party?

It was just like, tell your friends, I'm having it.

I called a few friends that I felt were really connected and I said, invite everybody.

We're hanging in my backyard and we're having an end of chemo party.

And I got my brother's band to play at it.

I think he was in college.

So I guess he was home for the summer.

And his band played outside.

And actually, somebody called the police

because of like a noise thing, which

we're from a suburb of Cleveland.

Like, it's not like there's like strict noise rules, but somebody called the police.

And the police came and they thought we were having like an underage drinking party.

And boy, did they feel bad when they found out what the party was really for?

That's amazing.

Okay.

So off you go from high school to where?

Where did you go to?

U Penn.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's not in Pittsburgh.

In Philly.

In Philly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Gotcha.

And theater, anything in there?

Yes.

Well, you're about to hit on something that I talk about almost every day, which is my all-female sketch comedy and musical parody troupe, Bloomers.

Yeah.

Which I, I was in this group called Bloomers that was a, I just explained it to you.

You created it?

No, it actually had been around since like 1975, I think.

And

it's really funny.

I was just telling some of the story.

I was so, because it was like all these East Coast people at my college, I was so like not in the know about anything.

I was coming from the Midwest and every, anyways, so there was this freshman performing arts night where all the performing arts groups.

did did a little performance and then they were like we really need people to come audition like please come audition and i took them at their word okay i thought these a cappella groups this hip hop dance group they need people so i'm gonna try and help them out i'm gonna audition if they need somebody i'm here for them I should have known when I, like the first one I went to, there were like a hundred names.

And

I remember this one girl who I had met.

She was, she was like, what are you auditioning with?

I was like, what are you auditioning with?

And she was like, I'm going to sing like a prayer.

This is for this acapella group.

And I was like, okay.

And she was like, what are you doing?

And I was like, give my regards to Broadway.

Because

the last time I had auditioned for anything was like middle school theater.

So I was like, this is what you audition for.

It's a singing group.

You have to do like a classic Broadway.

So absolutely.

So I auditioned for that.

I got like, I auditioned for.

this group that John Legend either was in or started called Counterparts.

And I think I did either give my regards to Broadway or never fully dressed without a smile from Annie.

You know, and everyone's doing like current pop songs, but I'm like, this is okay.

I'm auditioning for all these groups being like, they need people.

So I'm helping them out.

Then I auditioned for Bloomers, which was the comedy group, which in my mind, I had been like, this is probably the right fit for me anyway.

But I was thinking if I have to do multiple groups because they need people, I will.

But anyways, they didn't.

But Bloomers,

I auditioned for, and we had to do all of this, improvise all this stuff and everything.

And I, it was like the first time I ever was like, oh, I can do something other than be good at studying in school.

You know, all my friends growing up were really athletic.

And I was like, what must it be like to have like a skill like that?

And with comedy, then we were, you know, we got to write sketches and do sketches and all this stuff.

And it was so, it was like, it almost in some ways took my focus off of my schoolwork because I was like, I'm still going to, I'm still going to, you know, pass my classes and do all that stuff, but this feels like this is where my life is going.

I had that.

I faked my way through.

I was a daydreamer.

I think now I realize that I have, I can read,

you know, and enjoy a book, but if I have to retain it.

Yeah.

I don't do as well as if you tell me something.

Yeah.

I will retain it listening better than reading.

So school was never easy for me.

And I faked my way through it.

I was always the imposter that somehow got through,

even to the point where I got into Stanford.

Wow.

But the first day I was like, not only do I not know what that professor just said, I don't know what the student said who was sitting next to me.

I was just so out of it.

that when I did find acting,

it was like my whole life made sense.

Yeah.

I moved

my station wagon with a sleeping bag in the back to the theater and never left.

It was like, ah.

And I still have that same feeling today.

But thank God, because I would not, I don't know what I would have done.

It's such a nice feeling, isn't it?

To just be like, yeah, you get it.

And it's,

and it feels so nice to be doing it, to be able to have found the thing that like makes you happy and that you understand.

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Can you see that in college that when you joined the group, the beginning of you in Saturday Night Live, were you starting to do that kind of work, that kind of character?

Yeah, it was it.

We were writing sketches and performing them, which is exactly what you do at SNL.

And if you don't think that anyone I worked with at SNL doesn't know about Bloomers, you're wrong.

I talk about bloomers so much.

Um,

was it well known?

It was, um, it was not, it's much more well-known now because we've talked about it so much.

But it was the only, there was a male, there was an all-male, now, now actually, they, anyone who's like in an, uh, I guess they say like underrepresented gender can be in it.

So you don't necessarily have to identify as a woman to be in it.

But there was this all, but at the time it was the girl group and mask and wig is the male, is like the male group at Penn.

And they had been around for over a hundred years and they wouldn't let women in.

And so they were the really popular group.

And we were sort of the group that was started in the 70s that was like gaining momentum.

And I, I, I do,

I do think that, um, that me getting on SNL was a real

was helpful to the popularity.

Although they're also like when I see their, their shows are so much funnier now than ours were.

I mean, we love doing it.

And I think we were really creative and stuff.

But

some of the stuff that I wrote during that time

was bad.

Did some of it, though, did you pull it out of your little,

I'll pretend like this is brand new, but did you take stuff that you wrote?

Yeah, I mean, I, well, before I got on SNL, and I don't know how many people actually read it, I submitted a writing packet and so much of it was Bloomers stuff.

I'm trying to think if anything.

There was this

one sketch that we wrote where

in Bloomers that I guess that I wrote that was like.

a show and tell thing in a classroom.

And I played this little boy, Austin, who had this rock.

Anyways, it was sort of like similar to the Bar Mitzvah Boy character that I was working with.

Devoured for like 24 hours.

That's so nice.

That's so nice.

So fuck.

And the same basic bit.

Yes, yes.

Over and over again.

And it killed me each time you would

slightly, slightly annoyed, ignore the question that was just asked you.

You know, what's funny is that my brother's friends who saw me doing it on the show were like, even friends of his that were not childhood friends were like you're doing an impression of jonah and i didn't even realize it and i what i thought it came from was more every weekend in seventh grade we had a bar bottomitz to go to and i that's what i based it on was like that um all the boys were too young to be so formal to the point where they didn't know where to put their hands.

And like, that's where some of the stuff I would try and do is like, if they had to push up their glasses, they'd be like, like they just,

like, they just don't know how to,

it's so formal for them.

They're just too young.

Whereas the girls mostly were like performing their hearts out and doing great, you know.

Did you have to?

How did you get into Saturday Night Live?

Did you audition on your own or were you asked?

Did somebody see you?

Yes.

So

I

did

a showcase at I.O.

in Chicago, which used to be called Improv Olympic.

I did a showcase there.

I had to audition for the owner, this woman, Sharna, and I auditioned.

I had actually,

well, to back up, I had, I got, a year before I got on SNL, I got weirdly focused on it.

Like before that, I hadn't, I knew I loved SNL, but I hadn't like really envisioned myself on it yet, or maybe I had, but like I wasn't that focused on it.

and so then about a year before I got on I took this class with this director Matt Miller who basically you would come in and you would do like a series of

characters and impressions for like five minutes in front of a class and then he and the class would give you notes on on it and then and basically one thing that he taught us which I thought was such great advice was like at SNL the the the cast writes so it's not enough to just have a funny character the character has to be saying something funny because then they know you're a good writer, too.

Right.

So I did this workshop where I did these five minutes in front of this class and I got notes.

And then you just come back two weeks later and you put yourself on, he puts you on tape.

Doing the same material.

Doing the same material.

But by this point, hopefully you've worked on it for two weeks with the notes he gave and the class gave and you've gotten and you've improved it.

So I did this five minutes and then I came back and I did.

And I remember my like Miley Cyrus was part of it because I remember watching SNL and being like I can't believe no one's doing an impression of her she's so popular she has and I love Miley but she has such a distinct way of talking

and how is our people not jumping all over this this feels like you know

you know so um anyways I did like a couple impressions and and characters and then um I gave this tape to um the owner of IO and the the agent that I had at the time with my five minutes on it and I didn't hear anything.

And then I remember following up, and the agency that I was at at the time was like, oh, we don't have their info.

Do you have it?

And I remember being like,

this is a bad age.

But then a year later, they where are you?

New York or I'm in Chicago.

I'm sorry.

I didn't explain that.

I was in Chicago.

Right, right.

Which is where I moved after college because I interned, especially when I interned at Conan during college.

Our mutual boss.

Our mutual boss.

I found that a lot of the writers and the creative people working there that I thought were so funny had started in Chicago.

So that's why I moved to Chicago after college.

Even though I had interned in New York for two summers and my parents were like, maybe move to New York where we've like, you've made all these connections and we've kind of helped you out while you do these unpaid internships.

It was unpaid at the time, but probably not.

Now you know

you can't make a fortune on internships.

But so I moved to Chicago and I was in Chicago and I made this tape and I gave it to people.

Nobody

did anything with it.

And then

and then the next year, SNL was coming to Chicago, which they do every summer to scout people.

And they come to, I think they do Chicago, New York, and LA.

And, but Chicago is like a, which is

incredible.

It's so great that they, that they do that every year.

But anyway, so they were coming to Chicago and I auditioned for the owner of IO and basically did exactly what was on that tape.

I mean, I just re-watched it and did, and she put me in the showcase showcase.

And I did this SNL showcase in Chicago that Lauren, like Lauren and a bunch of the writers had come for it.

And it was this, it was this cool thing they used to do where they didn't ever announce the SNL showcase,

but people in Chicago kind of knew about it.

And there would be like a line around the block to go see the showcase.

Oh, that's brilliant.

So they watched you.

That was a cool thing.

So it was like them, but also an audience of, and, and actually, I didn't get in.

The first night it ran really long because people were supposed to stick to five minutes and they didn't.

And so I got pushed to the next night, and which was first for a second, I thought I got pushed to like next year.

But then they added a second night.

And my, one of my best friends, Kitty, couldn't get in the first night because the line was too long.

And she got in the second night.

And I got to just basically look at her the whole time I was auditioning, which was so special.

But, um, but yeah, so I did, so I did this showcase.

I did like five minutes minutes for this room full in this theater that I was very comfortable in.

And that was so fun.

And then, um, like a week later, I found out that they were flying me to New York to do like a screen test.

And I basically did a lot of the same characters, but I added a couple on the stage.

Yeah, on the stage.

And I remember it made me laugh so hard.

It's so funny.

My friend and I just rewatched Wayne's World.

And you know, in Wayne's World, how there's the thing where he talks about how they go like four, three, three, and they don't say two.

And they, I remember the stage manager did that and I almost started laughing.

Like I was so, I was in like a really good headspace for it.

Like I was pretty relaxed if that was maybe me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I remember they put me in Andy Samburg's dressing room when I was waiting to audition.

And I was the second to last person to audition of the day.

And

I was, my friend told me to bring music and I was like listening to me.

I was just like, I was like, how my attitude about it.

And I do think that some of this came from what we were talking about of like me being sick and getting through that stuff.

I was like, how many people get to do this?

Like, I'm just going to enjoy this, you know, even if I don't get into the cast or whatever, just the fact that they flew me to New York to do this audition is so incredible.

Like, I have to just enjoy it and,

you know, be present for it.

But what you're saying, pardon me, is to me like a superhuman

quality.

You know, that alone will get you so far in life, I think.

I really do.

Beginning to be, I, I have to say to myself,

before we, you and I sat down, this is a privilege.

Yeah.

Head.

This is a privilege.

Don't miss it, you know, by being nervous or too self-aware or whatever.

I, I, you know, that's not normal is what I'm saying.

That's so nice.

I mean, I don't always, I'm not always that way.

It's just, I think, I wonder if it is because I was sick and sometimes I had to sort of almost trick myself into being like,

I think I, I do have this ability to when I need to,

I can put myself there

into that head space, I guess.

Okay.

So you were there.

You enjoyed it.

Yeah.

People laughed.

That was the thing.

It was like, I had, everyone had told me that no one's going to laugh.

Don't take that personally.

And then

I heard the audition before me.

and I remember this woman was like singing a song parody, which we did a lot in Bloomers, but I didn't choose to do that in my showcase.

Um,

and nobody was laughing.

And I remember being like, She's doing fine because nobody laughs and it's fine.

And then I went out there and I just wasn't expecting laughter.

And then after I did my first character, everyone started laughing and I couldn't believe it, but I just sort of kept going.

And

they kind of, there was one character, one or two that they didn't laugh after, but they kind of were laughing throughout the thing and then um

i don't i don't know if this is i don't mean to this was just such a crazy thing that happened was a friend of mine amy phillips who i've known forever she was there too and she um when i came out of the audition

Because basically it was like people, once people were done auditioning, they could watch the rest of the auditions on the monitor.

But I was second to last.

So I couldn't really, and I didn't even know that existed, but I wasn't going to come out of my dressing room and watch.

I was, you know, and so she said to me, she said, she said, everyone clapped at the end, Vanessa.

And I was like, they did.

And she said, yeah, everybody clapped.

And I didn't, I still to this day don't remember that happening.

But when she told me that, I was like, oh my God.

Yeah.

I didn't know.

It was, it was, it was an amazing experience.

But also, I was

like we were talking about, I was in such a specific headspace headspace that I think I was just floating or something.

I don't know.

I do sometimes think that there's a part of us that knows

when something big is happening.

Yeah.

You know, some version of it and that it's going to all be okay.

And this is where I'm supposed to be.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How long before you got verification that you were brilliant and you're going to.

So then they

then they flew me back a week later or so, like about a week later to meet with some of the

writers and Seth.

And I think they kind of, I think they was Seth the head writer.

Seth was the head writer.

And I think they kind of try and make sure you're not

insane or hard to work with because you spend so much time together and so many comedians are.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

So

they flew me back and I had some meetings and stuff.

And then I met with Lauren.

And I remember that's where I met Taryn Killam, who's one of my closest friends and who I love.

And it was so funny.

That's the other thing that's really special about SNL.

And

probably a lot of

acting jobs, like a lot of shows and stuff that you've done is like, it brings people together that are from such different backgrounds.

Like, again, I'm this sort of like Midwest, you know, I don't know anything.

And Taryn is there and he lives in LA and his wife is on How I Met Your Mother at the time.

And people are like, how's your wife doing?

How's her show or something?

And I'm like, oh, like, I'm in Chicago.

I live in Chicago and I like,

you know,

I love

Starbucks or whatever.

That wasn't a good example, but you know what I mean?

Like, I'm like, I'm like, his wife is on how I met your mother.

Like, I'm just like, okay, like a little out of my league.

And, but he, he's one, like, he, it's just like, it we're so close and we come from it's like it brings people together that i think wouldn't have met otherwise is what i'm saying but anyways i waited i think two two and a half hours to meet with lauren in the waiting room outside of his office with taryn for part of the time you know like we and it was just you just i think there's a lot of waiting when you do that show you know it's a lot of you're there all the time and oftentimes it's you know just waiting for something and i think they're sort of also testing you and making sure that you can fit in.

Yeah, you can handle it.

You're not, you don't get

life is too short.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I met with Lorne and

he was talking to me about how the show hits you like a wave and then you recover.

And he's using all these sort of like metaphors.

And I don't know.

I'm like, am I hiring?

And, and at one point, I remember he asked me, do I have any questions for him?

And I'm like,

and I'm such a huge Chris Farley fan.

I mean, and I was like, maybe I have a Chris.

And I'm like, I'm not, I don't know how to ask.

Like, I don't want to bring up,

you know, like, I'm like, I, I don't know what I would ask.

Yeah.

So, and then I'm like, there's so many things in my mind.

There's so many things I want to ask him, but nothing is like.

coming together.

So I said, I think I said like,

I'm sure I do, but I can't think of anything now or something.

I'm sorry, that story didn't have a great ending.

But so that's what I said.

And then he said, well, we'll let you know in the next 24 hours.

Wow.

Okay.

So my parents are.

And you're still in the same head space as you were when you auditioned.

Yeah, I think so.

Pretty much.

I'm just like, this is all incredible.

Yeah.

And this is about a week after I audition.

I'm back in New York, maybe two weeks.

But so, so he's like, we'll let you know in the next 24 hours.

So

24 hours go by.

My parents stay awake for the entire 24 hours, which is so sweet.

And they're like, it's been 24 hours, my parents.

And I'm like, it's going to be longer.

I'm like, it's, I'm not, I'm not saying that I got it.

I'm, but I was like, based on how everything has gone up till now,

I don't think, I don't think that this is a reason to think that I didn't get it.

And then like a week later, one of the producers called me and she said,

she said, how are you doing?

And I said, I'm, I'm still exhausted from that whirlwind trip to New York, but it was so fun meeting you and seeing everybody.

And she said, Well, I hope you aren't too exhausted to come back to New York because we'd like to hire you as a cast member.

And then I said, What if I said I was too tired?

Because I had like no filter, you know, I was so excited.

And there's just silence on the phone.

And then I was like, I'm not, I'm not too tired, you know.

And then

it was so.

And then what was so crazy was I was so excited.

And they said, Please don't tell.

She said, Please don't tell anyone because we're going to make an official announcement about it.

But she was like, We'll, we'll let everybody know, like, we'll let the press know soon or whatever.

So, again, I'm living in Chicago and I have to move to New York.

And it's a week passes.

They still haven't said anything too.

Finally, me and my friend Paul Britton have both been hired, and we both have to

leave Chicago and

without telling anyone why.

But some blog picked it up and and and broke the news and we still had to deny it, but everybody knew it's so weird that they're like in the middle of the year just getting up and leaving.

Like, but then we couldn't, it was so weird because we couldn't say anything.

And it was getting to the point where like I told my parents, I swore them to secrecy because I had heard sort of horror stories about cast members telling people too early, you know?

And so I, I mean, nothing horrible had ever happened, but I was so warned.

Like, you cannot tell.

My agent in Chicago was like, you cannot tell a soul.

Like, just, you know, tell your parents they can't tell anyone.

I had family members calling my parents, being like, it's really like in a lot of the trades that, like, she's, um, she's hired.

And I'm living in New York in this time.

And my parents have to be like, well, you know, that's the trades.

You know, like they, my parents have to tell like their family members, because I was like, you cannot tell anyone.

Yeah.

It was crazy.

It was crazy.

Just a month of kind of lying to everyone close to me.

Just a heads up, if we become close friends as a result of this podcast, do not tell me anything that you don't want me, unless it's really genuinely personal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But if it's like good news,

nah, come out the door screaming it to the rafters.

Well, that's the thing is like, it was such good news that I was like, people are going to want to talk about it.

So you just can't tell anyone.

So I think I told my best friend Gwen and my brother and my parents, and that was it.

Who was your first skit partner that made it, that made it on the show?

I'm trying to think of something that I wrote.

Uh-huh.

Or no.

First off, did they just start putting you in?

Yeah.

I was the first line of my first episode.

It was like.

Jason Sudeikis and Kristen

Wig were in something and it was like a political thing.

I truly don't even remember what it was about.

And I opened the door and I say, like, so-and-so is here to see you.

But because it was the first line of the first, of that season, I open the door and everyone cheers.

And then I say, like, so-and-so is here to see you.

And it's so, my, I had friends in Chicago who were like doing viewing parties and stuff.

And they were all like, because I also, I told everybody before it started, I said, I might not be in the show at all.

They keep saying, you might not be in the show.

You might, and I open the door and I'm the first one to speak.

And all my friends like afterwards were like, we were like losing our minds.

We couldn't believe like first thing out of the gate, you were speaking.

It was so exciting.

It was a wild applause.

And I think that they did it on purpose.

And I wonder if they do that a lot at the beginning of seasons, if they have like a new person say the first line.

Yeah.

Because it's like so much applause and it's so exciting to start.

Yeah.

And were you super nervous or just?

I was really nervous.

I was really nervous.

I was so excited though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One quick question.

It doesn't sound, I think I know the answer to this, but I know several people who came out of Saturday Night Live that almost had post-traumatic stress.

Right.

As a result, some people,

it's made for them.

Yeah.

You know, I'm sure Tina Fey, you know,

did not.

Seth Meyer, you know, a lot of people didn't.

It was made for them.

Where do you fall on that line?

Because it is the pressure.

Yeah.

It's not only be funny.

It's not only you're going to be live, be funny, but there's a competition to get on in the first place.

place.

Yeah.

Even if you love your castmates, you're in a competition.

Yeah.

I mean, I think I'm lucky in that I left on really good terms.

And

I

was able to

leave on my own terms, which is sort of a hard.

And what I feel was like the right time.

Like I stayed for seven years and that was our contract.

And then, you you know,

I remember I told Lauren that I was going to leave like around March.

And I don't think he,

I don't know, like he, he was like,

I think he sort of was like, okay, but I don't know that he fully thought that I was really going to leave.

And, um, and you were a big hit.

Well,

I mean, you were.

That's so nice.

You never feel that way.

Or maybe some people don't.

But in the press, you were a big hit.

In the audience, you were a big hit, whether they told you that thank you that's so it's true right so you were leaving

as a valued member thank you i i i um well i i really was like i in my mind i like couldn't envision another season i just couldn't um

i couldn't see it in my head i just didn't exist or something and i was like i want to leave while i still have so much love for this place and everything.

And so I told Lauren I was leaving.

And then, you know, as the weeks were passing and everything, I like got together like gifts for, like, I was like, I have to get a good gift for everybody.

And,

and there was almost a writer's strike that year.

Um, and uh, they were able to to work it out.

But I remember being like, and you know, I want the best for the writer.

I stand with the WGA and everything, but I remember being like, oh my God, if there was a show that like we did and then we went on hiatus and we wouldn't have come back from the hiatus.

hiatus.

And I was like, oh my God, if that was my last show, I won't be able to give everyone their gifts.

And I've really thought hard about these.

I mean, I guess they can send them the gifts, but can you, but no, but I'm glad that WGA got what they wanted that year.

And we were able to go back.

And

it's, it broke in the press or something that I was leaving.

Like really, like the week that I, the week of the last show.

And I wasn't going to say anything because I knew that Lauren didn't really want anyone to you you it was like

I I didn't want to like you know I had I had such a great relationship with I felt like with the show and with Lauren and I didn't want to like jeopardize any of that and then I remember I was on my way to

the

um last show that I was ever doing and I um

I was of course running late, which I always was.

But anyways, I was on my way to like, you know, the Saturday afternoon, the last show.

And our publicist texted me and she said, Lauren said, it's okay for you to put out a statement if you want to.

And she said, and he never says that.

And so I posted this thing that was, that Colin Jost had, Colin Jost would always write the last show of the season, he would always write these like joke sketches.

Um,

and we would do them at the table and they were always like so funny.

And they were, they included like the stage manager sometimes.

It was just like the sketch that would just never get on.

But, um, but he, he had written this sketch that was a parody of the song always a woman and he had this phrase in it that was about me that made me cry but it was it was like it was about um

we've heard about bloomers and we know about gwen's my best friend and jonah and we've heard her talk about leukemia and leukemia again and like this all this stuff and i put like i posted like a photo of that and i said like something about leaving and it was so special for me to have my last show where the audience knew it was my last show.

That was like it was like something that I didn't really realize would have been so special.

And I remember Tom Hanks was there, and

I think it was his idea.

He like hoisted me and Bobby Moynihan and Sashir

hoisted all of us up, and we like got like a standing ovation, like after the good nights were over, and like walked us out on everybody's shoulders.

Fantastic, yeah.

And it was like it felt to be able to get that kind of closure was like incredible.

Have you done

dramatic

parts?

I've done, I didn't, the first real dramatic thing I got to do was I did an episode of that show, Love.

I don't know if you ever saw it.

I didn't, but I, yeah.

And

I'm blanking on the name of who was actually directing the episode.

That's so rude.

But Judd Apatau was like, he was a producer on that show and he was there and kind of helped direct it too.

And that was really nice.

And he sort of said something to me like, I know this is like your first kind of heavy thing like this.

And I wanted to be, and he was really helpful with it, as was the director who's

Michael Lewin.

The director Michael Lewin was as well.

But that what I like doing that stuff.

And in my show, I love that for you.

Even though it's a comedy and we wanted it to have like laugh out loud jokes in it,

there was some heavy stuff in there.

It wasn't broad, it was very real and funny.

Thank you very much.

Yeah.

So I, so I like, and I think, I think it was my friend John Early who said, like, and I hope like every comedian just wants to prove that they can cry on camera.

Like, it's sort of like

you, you sort of get this chip on your shoulder of like, I can do drama.

And I remember I got,

I, yeah.

Anyways, I, I, when I liked doing that stuff as well, or I liked proving to people that I can cry on camera.

The mistake always is to

immediately make a huge switch, you know, right after Samuel Live.

Lady Macbeth.

Yes.

You know, you know, when

you do it a little slower.

Yeah.

I find people like you.

Sorry, that's a non-complimentary thing to say.

But if I see you on camera, I am, I'm, I am excited because I know I'm about to laugh and I'm going to be laughed and startled and surprised.

I won't see it coming.

So I'm very excited.

When you then take that baggage and do a serious part, it's very dangerous.

You have a quality of danger because even though you're in the story and you're being real to the circumstances, there's this sense of,

is she going to be funny or not?

That even though you know she's not,

there's a tension there that I think is really interesting when really innately funny people choose not to be funny.

Yeah.

In a part.

I think it's, I find it just mesmerizing to watch people like that.

Yeah.

Like you.

That's so nice.

I mean, it's, it's an interesting,

it's, I, I, it's, it's all, it's an interesting thing to try.

I, I like,

um,

my favorite thing is doing,

I guess, well, I guess one of my favorite things is doing dramatic stuff that's funny.

Yes.

Because it feels like,

I don't know, but it is, it is, there was a hard thing of like,

yeah, exactly what you said.

Like, you don't want to like come right off of SNL and be like, guess what?

I'm, you know, playing this.

Lizzie Born.

One thing that I think is, this is different.

The thing that I can't do is I auditioned kick a table and take out a gun and like go like, that's not really what it is.

The hardest thing I did in my career was CSI.

Oh, yeah.

So hard.

I love the actors.

I love the writers.

I loved, you know, being able to keep a house I owned.

You know, I loved everything about CSI, but the acting was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life because there's no room for humor.

Yeah.

And if you take any possibility of humor away, I'm just, I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm dead meat.

I'm horrible.

I'm not good.

And you have to be like, where's the forensics or something?

Yeah.

Yeah.

If I had to say vaginal tear or blood splatter, I would just.

Oh my God.

Oh, my God.

And you can't tell.

Usually, if you're going to improvise a little funny,

it's at the end of the scene.

You can do a little hook at the end.

It's amusing, but you couldn't because that would make people laugh and forget the information about the mystery

the audience wanted to have.

So it was

a hard job, not because of the people.

The people were magnificent.

It was just a hard form for me.

Of course.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not good at it, is what I'm boiling.

Well, I'm sure you were great on it, but that's

no.

I did this movie once with Belle Pauli.

I don't know if you know her.

She's this young, very talented, very cool actress.

And we were in this movie together, and I was supposed to play her cool older friend who she worked with.

And I was like, supposed to be like giving her advice about like, yeah, it's like sex and drugs.

You know what I mean?

Like that kind of a thing.

And it, it,

even when I watch it now, it plays so false of like this girl who's like one of the coolest people in the world.

And like, just like

hip, like, just, just absolutely like the, I'm trying to give give you an example of how cool she is she's just like this like tiny beautiful she's um always wearing anyway she's so cool and the way that I'm talking about you the way that I'm talking about her shows how not cool I am but yeah for me to be like

you just get you have to get out and do drugs and drink alcohol like like it's just that's the kind of thing I'm saying to her at this party and I'm like I don't care about like having sex I'll do it whenever I want and stuff like that and that's the way I'm doing it to you is a bit, but it's also how I come off in this movie.

And she has to act like, I'm sure that that's hard acting for her too, where she has to be like, uh-huh, like, not Vanessa, I can't remember what my character's name is, but being like, yeah, okay, you're really teaching me a lot.

Like, that was that was probably the most challenging thing I ever had to do: act like I was cooler than Bell Powell and give her advice on how to be cool.

I always say to writers, it's like, because by now I've been around long enough that I bring so much baggage from being on television that it's like, if you want me to be

something

different, you're going to have to write me

doing

something.

So if Ted is sitting next to you at dinner and all of a sudden Ted picks up a glass of water and throws it in your face, then laughs and says, I'm sorry, I just had to do it and gets up and leaves, I will be forever different.

to you.

You will always flinch a little bit.

So you need to write that in so that you can be Vanessa.

You can be everything about who you are.

But if all of a sudden you go around the corner and do something horrendous and keep being Vanessa,

you get to be dangerous, Vanessa, just by what you're doing.

All right.

Silly questions.

Yes.

Magic wand.

Five years from now, creatively, what would you like to be doing?

Uh-oh.

Sorry.

That was a serious question.

I thought you were, I know, I was laughing because if you hadn't said creatively, I would have said in your Martha's Vineyard home, hanging with somebody.

No, I've already

invited you.

You will get an invitation to Thanksgiving.

Thank you so much.

I'll go to Cleveland first and see my family, and then we'll fly from Cleveland.

Okay.

It's pretty close, actually.

It'll be an overnight.

Okay, perfect.

Five years.

Wait, sorry.

The question was, where would I be

creatively?

I would love to still be doing my show I would love to be working on that I would love to

your show

I love that for you and

that's a possibility I hope so I hope so and

and I would love to um I would love to in general just keep being able to to

this is such a general answer but just be creating things that I think are really funny and being part of things that I think are really funny.

I know and interesting.

And

I,

like you were saying about acting, I love doing comedy and act.

I love it so much.

It's so fun.

I get so much out of it.

Even doing this podcast with you, like I'm leaving here.

I feel like I'm

part of the family.

I feel like I'm part of the family.

I feel like I'm just like, it's, you've lifted my day.

Like, it's so fun to get to work with funny people and talented.

I just, I just want to keep doing that.

I, I'm giving you the most general answer.

My answer would be the same.

First off, that was very sweet and means huge amounts.

What about me?

I'm telling you, I was just watching Cheers and I was like, this is the best show.

Also, I got to do some episodes of Will and Grace and I got to work with Jimmy Burroughs.

And

I mean, what an absolute, but you're just part of this, like, you just, you're so great on cheers.

And I genuinely love Three Men and a Baby,

but I haven't seen it in a long time.

But I remember when you're all singing good night.

But there's no reason to do, thank you.

I let all of that in, even though I'm pretending to brush it off.

Okay.

And I will dine off it later.

There's no reason to do a podcast unless you get to celebrate that person you're sitting with and

laugh and have a good time and figure out what it's like to be her.

Not that I've quite cracked you yet, but

this is.

Over family dinners and stuff.

This has been amazing and I really, really appreciate it.

I really, it was such an honor to get to do this and I had a fantastic time.

That was me talking to the great Vanessa Bear.

Thank you so much.

for talking with me, Vanessa.

You are welcome at the family reunion anytime.

That's it for this week.

Hello Hello to Woody, and special thanks to our friends at Team Coco.

If you enjoyed this episode, please send it to someone you love.

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You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Dancing Woody Harrelson.

Sometimes.

The show is produced by me, Nick Leo.

Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross, and myself.

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Our senior producer is Matt Apadaka.

Engineering and Mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez.

Research by Alyssa Grawl.

Talent Booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista.

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Special thanks to Willie Navarre.

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