Chelsea Handler

Speaker 2 At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.

Speaker 4 That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.

Speaker 3 While it drives us to create what could be,

Speaker 5 that world can't wait to see what you'll do.

Speaker 6 Where will your wonder take you?

Speaker 7 And what will it make you?

Speaker 8 The University of Arizona.

Speaker 2 Wonder makes you.

Speaker 9 Start your journey at wonder.arizona.edu.

Speaker 10 You made me cry.

Speaker 11 I would love to make you cry on your own podcast.

Speaker 10 Welcome back to Where Everybody Knows Your Name. Chelsea Handler is my guest today, and she is one of the hardest working folks in comedy.

Speaker 10 Since her groundbreaking show, Chelsea Lately, in 2007, she's written six books that have topped the New York Times bestseller list.

Speaker 10 She's sold out shows around the world and been named one of Time magazine's 100 most influential people. You can listen to her show, Dear Chelsea, wherever you find your podcasts.

Speaker 10 And you can visit ChelseaHandler.com to see if her high and mighty tour is coming to a city near you. So let's get to it.
Meet Chelsea Handler.

Speaker 10 Why did I get so lucky that you're here? Seriously.

Speaker 11 I'm always.

Speaker 10 I would not pick me if I were you. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 11 You know that I like older men, right?

Speaker 10 I just spilled my coffee all over my lap.

Speaker 11 Did you, and you just went to the bathroom, too.

Speaker 10 So that's two older man things. Was that okay?

Speaker 11 I mean, you've been to the bathroom twice since I arrived five minutes ago.

Speaker 10 One was to wash my hands. I forgot.
Oh, okay. I'm just saying.

Speaker 11 I'm just throwing that out there and making sure everything's okay. Is everything running okay? Did everything.

Speaker 10 Do you think I can keep up with you bantering? Yeah, slow down. Such a scared.
I will slow down.

Speaker 11 I think you can. And I think you could probably.

Speaker 10 Well, what happens is I scream and I fall to the ground like, you know, the heroine in a bad movie is about to get eaten by a gorilla. They fall prematurely.
They could get up and run. Okay.

Speaker 11 Yeah, that's me. I understand your condition now, and I will take that into consideration.
Thank you. I will take that into consideration.

Speaker 10 I went into the other room.

Speaker 10 We have the sweetest group of people, starting with Conan. And everyone who works here in this building is Conan-esque.
Oh, that's nice. I went in and said, I'm terrified.
I am so,

Speaker 10 I am so not like you. I am not courageous.
I'm not, I'm not quickly, rapidly funny. I am, I play it safe in some areas in my life.
All of those things. So anyway, whatever.

Speaker 10 I won't characterize myself. I'm very happy you're here.

Speaker 11 I'm happy to be here.

Speaker 10 And thank you.

Speaker 11 And now that I know you're so scared of me.

Speaker 10 Terrified of you. I'll rein it in.

Speaker 11 I'll rein it in. This is is generally speaking most men's reaction to me, just so you know, you're not alone.
Men feel this way about me.

Speaker 11 They think that I'm a little bit, not that you're saying I'm overbearing or in your face.

Speaker 11 But that's a lot of men feel that way towards me. But I understand that.

Speaker 10 Shit, I hate that. Well, no, it's okay.
It's okay.

Speaker 11 It's part of the fabric of who I am. You know, I'm not, I'm not mad about it.

Speaker 10 No, I wasn't worried about you. I was worried about me being like most men.
No, no,

Speaker 11 no.

Speaker 11 Most men, like you, the fact that you're willing to sit down with all of those feelings towards me shows me that you are a real man.

Speaker 10 Yeah. Oh, God.
So there you go. I'm very excited because this is true, by the way.

Speaker 10 I get scared about pretty much everyone who walks through the door because I don't at parties, I don't go across the room and say hi and have a nice, wonderful chat with somebody.

Speaker 10 I do the false humility thing, which is so boring and not real.

Speaker 10 And I don't meet a lot of people. I'm not Woody Harrelson.
Yeah, Woody.

Speaker 10 you are woody makes his rounds i was at a i was at a dinner party with woody a few months ago and we were like two magnets just you are crossing the room to bump into each other you are you're both you're yeah you are you're much better woody but you are in that that you know you you you are you like joy you like taking chances you like scaring yourself you're bold you're big you're bright you're smart you're a bunch of contradictions that's woody thank you yeah Yeah.

Speaker 10 Thank you.

Speaker 10 Appreciate that. Yeah.

Speaker 11 I think we're all a bunch of contradictions when we boil it down. Don't you think most people are pretty contradictory? Because you can have one side of you and we're so multi-dimensional.

Speaker 11 You know, nobody's just one thing.

Speaker 11 So like, you know, if you're a public-facing person, people see what they, you know, like they kind of see you as like a one thing, you know, how they want to see you.

Speaker 11 But, but as we know, people are multi-dimensional. So they have lots of different sides to them.

Speaker 11 So it's always interesting when you get to know somebody a little bit more and you're like, oh, wow, I didn't expect that or I didn't know that.

Speaker 11 Like for you to say you're shy is very surprising to me.

Speaker 10 I'm going to try to give myself cred in front of you. Do you know my wife, Mary Steenberg? Yes.
She's my cred.

Speaker 10 Have you hung out with her?

Speaker 11 Yes, yes. She's very, very cool.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 11 She's, yeah, yeah. Good, that good landing on that.
Yes, thank you.

Speaker 10 I get a lot of people double taking me because they see that I'm, she's with me and that's quite lovely.

Speaker 11 And otherwise, you're with Woody. So you've got all your bases covered.

Speaker 10 Woody. Yeah.
No, here's the other thing. You both are very similar.
You're peripatetic. Do you like that?

Speaker 10 You don't stop moving. You have to move.

Speaker 10 Woody lasted for 17, 18 episodes on this show. And then we're, oh, I gotta, I gotta go.
I gotta bounce.

Speaker 10 Bounce.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I can relate to that completely.

Speaker 10 Why is that you?

Speaker 11 Just boredom. You know what I mean? Like, I'm, I need action.
And I, I need a lot. Like, I, I, I go, go, go, go, go.
And then I crash, crash, crash, but I don't have a problem with that schedule.

Speaker 11 Like, I, people will be like, well, why don't you have more of a moderate lifestyle? No, this is how I want to live.

Speaker 10 I want to go, go, go, go, crash, crash, crash. Are you beholden, beholden to anyone right now? As far, I mean, you're not married.

Speaker 11 As a lover, you mean?

Speaker 10 As a lover, as a dog owner, as a

Speaker 11 dog.

Speaker 10 Family member who's living with you, somebody where, or can you just go home and go to sleep whenever you want for a weekend, like I heard you say or something, and then go again?

Speaker 11 Yeah, I do that quite frequently. Like, if I go, like recently, I went on a trip to Ibiza.
It was impromptu. My friends were all there, and they were like, come, come, come.

Speaker 11 And I was like, you know what? I was on my way to New York. I thought maybe I'd just do a little trip through Ibiza from LA and then back to New York.
Like that was on the way.

Speaker 11 You know, in my mind, I'm like, that's a little kind of fun excursion. And I went for three days.
And Ibiza, as you may have heard, is pretty much, you know, a party situation. And so it was.

Speaker 10 It was a party situation. I haven't heard that, Chelsea.

Speaker 10 But go on.

Speaker 11 So I go and I party and I'm out, you know. And I mean, I went to bed one night at three, one night at one.
And then the next night was until six in the morning. And then I got to New York.

Speaker 11 I got to my hotel. I've slept the entire plane ride.
I got to my hotel room and I slept for another 14 hours. And then I got up and started working again.
So that's kind of my machine.

Speaker 11 Like,

Speaker 11 I mean, that's kind of how I operate. And it works for me.
I wouldn't suggest it or recommend it to a person with a regular lifestyle and a nine to five job, but it keeps me on my toes.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 11 And I need to be stimulated.

Speaker 10 Got it. Do you do you think that the, I don't know, teenage you would have thought 50 would have looked so good as it does and so energized and doing anything you want and top of your game? Thank you.

Speaker 11 I, I, um, my father had a heart attack when he was 52, and he was old. And I remember looking at, like, thinking, he didn't die at that point, but I remember thinking, oh, well, he's 52.

Speaker 11 It's time probably for him to go. Like, I thought that was such an old age.

Speaker 11 And so it's so crazy to think about when you get to be the age that you thought your parents were old at and then to be living a completely different life.

Speaker 11 So, no, to answer your question, no, I didn't think it would be this fun or this rewarding or that I'd be so lucky in my career and life and lucky to kind of get through all of those zones where people told me I was supposed to do something like get married or have a child, and that I got through those phases of life unscathed.

Speaker 11 Like, I was close to getting married a couple of times, I was like,

Speaker 11 Don't do it, don't do it, and I didn't do it, I listened to my gut, and then you know, with children, that just really wasn't at the foreground of my mind.

Speaker 11 But I'm so grateful now because I do not have any regrets in either of those situations. Now, if I get married as a fluke,

Speaker 11 it would be because I don't have to follow that, you know, what any society is telling me.

Speaker 11 So I feel pretty grateful that I've had my own guts and decision making, that I didn't, that I'm not a follower, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 11 A lot of women that I speak with are like so confused about their decisions that they've almost forgotten what they actually want.

Speaker 10 Where you came out of your family that way, though, almost by necessity, seems like, meaning your upbringing, father, mother, kind of tough?

Speaker 11 Well, I wouldn't say they were tough. I would say they were, it was a, no, nothing was tough.
My dad was tough, but my mom was sweet and lovely and shy and quiet, very antithetical to who I am.

Speaker 11 Like, you would never know. She didn't even know what to do with me.
She's like, oh my God, you're my daughter.

Speaker 10 Like, why are you, why won't you shut the fuck up?

Speaker 11 But my dad was loud and he was like, you know, boisterous. And I, I think I just saw the dynamic.

Speaker 11 First of all, I had five brothers and sisters and I was like, oh my God, this is too many people already.

Speaker 10 Like, where were you in the count?

Speaker 11 Youngest of six.

Speaker 10 Oh, so you had to be a little loud. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 11 I had to learn how to get my voice heard. And also,

Speaker 11 like, to get attention, not for the wrong stuff, you know what I mean? Or the stuff like, yeah, I was cute. I had blonde hair and I was precocious.

Speaker 11 So that always got me a lot of attention, but I wanted attention for being more than that. You know, I wanted to be bright.

Speaker 11 So, I was very, and my dad saw that I was getting a lot of attention for being loud and cute. And

Speaker 11 he was like, You better start reading books right away.

Speaker 11 So, I literally had to read books when I was like seven or eight. I read Anna Karenina by Tolstoy.
I read East of Eden when I was eight. I had to give a book report in our kitchen.

Speaker 11 So, I value that aspect of my childhood because it did make me bright and it made me love books.

Speaker 11 But I also just felt growing up, watching my parents, my mom's kind of reliability on my father and her lack of

Speaker 11 like authorship of her own life in a sense. You know, I saw that and I recognized that as something that I didn't want to have in my life.
I didn't want to have to be dependent upon another person.

Speaker 11 And I didn't want to have to have all the responsibilities she had. I wanted to like fly.

Speaker 10 and be free.

Speaker 10 And you are, dear Lord. That's pretty amazing.
You know those books you just mentioned? Yeah. And I nodded, yeah.
Yeah. You haven't read them.

Speaker 10 No, they're the books that I lied about reading to my teachers. And I've lied for so long about them that I do know.
You believe you've read them. I believe I read them.

Speaker 11 Well, by osmosis, you have read them now because you're sitting with me and I've read them. So I could tell you all about them, anything you need to know.

Speaker 11 But it was great because I hated it when it was happening.

Speaker 11 You think as an eight-year-old, you want to sit there and read about a spurred lover, you know, jumping off a train because her boyfriend doesn't like her. Like, I was like, dad, this is too intense.

Speaker 11 You know, I was trying to go to school and they were like, Humpty-dumpty sat on a wall. And I'd be like, which one? China or Berlin? You know, and not like I was some genius child, not at all.

Speaker 11 I just had a nice balance of like,

Speaker 11 of like what is going to get me far in life. And also like, you know, a lot of love in my family, a lot of trauma.
My brother died when I was young. So that impacted our family, but just chaos.

Speaker 11 And so I kind of swirl around in chaos. I enjoy it.

Speaker 10 That's so interesting because I'm the exact opposite. Right.
And I mean,

Speaker 10 I'm painting myself horribly, but you're painting yourself like a hermit. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, a hermit with Mary Steenbergen in my cave.
So it all works out

Speaker 10 really, to be honest. But I do, chaos, I try to put things in order and Mary is much happier with chaos.
I know that I'm in a healthy state of mind, the more chaos I can accept in my life.

Speaker 10 If I'm upset emotionally, oh, dear Lord, I'm so linear. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 10 Okay, so out you come this way, courageous, bold. Vaginally.

Speaker 10 You came out vaginally. See, right now I said the word because I wanted to be hip and stay with you, but oh, I just started to sweat saying the word vaginally.
Okay, but it's okay.

Speaker 10 It's a medical term. No, I understand.

Speaker 11 And you're an obstetrician. So, I mean, why not say it? And I'm a gynecologist.
So we're all set.

Speaker 10 Oh, man. Let me just take a break and sweat for just a second.

Speaker 10 Out you come, fully baked to be able to do this job that you're doing, but when you stand up, making people laugh, being not controversial, but...

Speaker 10 prodding people into looking at all sorts of different things that they might not.

Speaker 10 So how did that first, how did you first get get on stage? When did you first do that in public?

Speaker 11 I did that when I was like 21 years old.

Speaker 10 Um,

Speaker 11 and I did like three minutes at the laugh factory. And you were, you used to have this thing where you would line up at the laugh factory in the middle of the night to get one of those open mic slots.

Speaker 11 And I had never thought about doing stand-up until I gave, I had to give like a speech kind of thing. And everyone came, and I was so nervous for this speech.
I was so nervous about public speaking.

Speaker 11 Like it, it honestly, you know, gave me diarrhea. Like the thought of it, I was like, oh, God, I can't do this.
I can't publicly speak.

Speaker 11 And people say they would rather be shot by a firing squad than publicly speak. You know, many people feel this way, even actors a lot.
Right.

Speaker 11 And I felt that way.

Speaker 11 But getting on stage and telling this story to the small group of people that I had before I did my set at the Laugh Factory, everyone came up to me, not everyone, but many people came up to me from this group and the small setting.

Speaker 11 And they were like, you should be a stand-up comedian. Your storytelling is really really engaging and very funny.
And I was like, Stand-up comedian. I don't think I, I, I, I don't know what that is.

Speaker 11 But after

Speaker 11 getting off that stage and having the feeling of kind of facing a fear and the adrenaline that comes from that, of like, not only did I face the fear, I actually succeeded.

Speaker 11 Like, it was a success that I was like, okay, let me try stand up, even though it scared the living shit out of me. It completely did and did for many years when I started doing it.

Speaker 11 I made myself do that. And that was when I learned about overcoming the stuff that makes you like, it's okay, you know, because I didn't care about failing.
I had nothing to lose.

Speaker 11 I was a waitress at that point. It didn't matter if I failed.
I was waiting tables anyway. So that was my job.
I didn't think I was going to make a career doing stand-up.

Speaker 11 I thought, maybe this is an avenue to like become successful in this industry.

Speaker 11 And the more I did it, and the more I realized I could write my own material and not speak someone else's words and speak my own words and not have somebody tell me what to do, which I've never really had a good relationship with, like being directed all the time or being told you have to be here this time.

Speaker 11 Being a stand-up comedian allowed me to kind of create jobs around that.

Speaker 11 And my talk shows were created around me. Even when I did sitcoms, they were created around me.

Speaker 11 So unbeknownst to me at the time, I didn't realize how much, you know, authorship that gives you being a comedian, but it proved to be like one of the best kind of decisions I ever made because it opened up a whole world for me where I don't really have to answer to anyone.

Speaker 11 I mean, I guess the government soon, they're coming. But I don't, so far in my career, I've never really had to say,

Speaker 11 you know, let me do my thing. Like nobody really gets to tell me not to do my thing.

Speaker 10 Do you remember what?

Speaker 11 Knocking on wood here, knocking on wood.

Speaker 10 We'll get to that. I guess we have to.

Speaker 11 We don't have to i mean i don't know do we it's

Speaker 11 dark it is dark so let's keep light for a second okay do you remember how you what your bit was sorry to call it a bit but what did you step up on stage with a story i think i was complaining about waiting tables and people having taking a long time to make decisions about lunch and how dumb that is you know like what are your specials i was like so who could like just pick something from the menu this you're not even going to remember that you ate here, hopefully, you know, like, hopefully it'll be that unmemorable.

Speaker 11 Um, so I just had, and people who didn't, you know, I actually think everyone should have to be a server for about six months.

Speaker 10 So does Mary. She did it for seven years.

Speaker 11 I've never in my life yelled at a server. I've never not tipped a server because of bad service.

Speaker 11 If somebody gives me bad service, I actually give them double because I know they're going through something. You know, like I have such respect for that.
I have respect for flight attendants

Speaker 11 and I have respect for the service industry. And without being in those jobs, it might be harder to gain that respect.

Speaker 11 So I think I was just bitching about how rude people are, you know, and how people don't even look you in the eye when they're ordering or they wave you over.

Speaker 11 So it was like only three minutes of material, which is kind of hard to even think about. And then I just started raging.

Speaker 11 Like if I had it, like a topic that was happening or a boyfriend that was ridiculous or I would just go off.

Speaker 10 And so I'm not sure if you're not going to be able to do you could do that without like writing something down or anything.

Speaker 11 You could just swing it at that point in my career. It was more about the chutzpah necessary to get on the stage.
I was like, just get up there. You're good at talking.
Just get on the stage.

Speaker 11 Because there were many nights where I would drive to a comedy club, whether it be the improv or the laugh factory or the comedy store, or any of these open mic nights, which are at smaller places oftentimes, where I would drive up and then just be like, I can't.

Speaker 11 I would lose my nerve and drive home, you know, and go watch something on TV or smoke a joint or something and be like,

Speaker 11 I'm not going to do it tonight.

Speaker 11 So it became like, just follow through, just keep getting on stage and keep getting on stage.

Speaker 11 And it wasn't so much about the material as it was as getting comfortable on stage in front of strangers and owning it.

Speaker 11 Because the minute you're not secure with yourself, then you're not selling anything and you're not buyable. Like, you know what I mean? And I don't mean buyable in a profit way.

Speaker 11 I mean, like, the audience member who sees you sweating and nervous and not knowing what you're going to say or being insecure isn't going to feel comfortable laughing at you because they're worried about you or they're making fun of you, you know?

Speaker 11 So for me in the beginning, it was really about just getting my stage presence. Like, I'm on stage.
It's time to listen. You know, like that attitude.

Speaker 10 That is so reassuring to the people in the audience because that's what they want to hear too. Relax.
You're in good hands. You can just

Speaker 10 enjoy. You don't have to worry for me.
I'm, yeah. Yeah.
I should, did you, some of the people wrote what you just said down and they'll, they'll give it to me tonight to read over and over again.

Speaker 11 I won't, because now I, I, my stage presence is different because I've been doing this for so many years. So now when I walk on stage in a place, it's, it's quite the opposite.

Speaker 11 I have the stage presence, right? I've got that.

Speaker 11 So now I get to be even more crafty and like, you know, artful with my use of language and the way I say things and the points I want to bring and callbacks.

Speaker 11 So it's like the more you cement a certain skill set, the more it opens you up to improve upon other skill sets surrounding the initial skill set.

Speaker 11 So now, like, you know, if I host the Critics Choice Awards or whatever, I walk out there going, everyone's going to have a good time tonight because I'm leading the show. Like, that's my attitude.

Speaker 10 That's amazing.

Speaker 11 And when I do a show, if I'm in Philadelphia at the Met, I walk out and I'm like, everyone's going to leave here feeling much better than when they walked in. That's on me.
This is your job.

Speaker 11 This is your responsibility. Like, I take it much more seriously now because I'm older and I understand the impact.

Speaker 10 See, some people give the impression that that's what they're doing, confident and all of that. You genuinely are.

Speaker 10 Well, where is your, do you have, do you have moments of, oh, dear Lord? Yeah. Where am I? What am I doing?

Speaker 11 I mean, I don't have, I feel like at a certain age, and I'm, I, I, I wonder if you feel this way as well,

Speaker 11 that you have enough data to prove that you know what you're doing. Like there's enough life experience to understand you're good.
You know what you're doing. You're reliable.
You're dependable.

Speaker 11 And you're going to get yourself from this point to the next point. That's how I felt about turning 50 this year.
I was like,

Speaker 11 I have no reason to worry about myself. Like I've proven time and time again that I'm going to land on my feet.
So, yeah, there's a different kind of confidence. I don't think it's as loud.

Speaker 11 I think the more confident you get, I think it becomes quieter. You know, I think when you're searching for it, you're like loud.

Speaker 11 So, when I was in my early career and I was brash and I was, you know, in your face, it was like I was trying to get to where I am now.

Speaker 10 Where everybody knows your name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game?

Speaker 10 Well, with the Name Your Price tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try it at Progressive.com.

Speaker 10 Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Price and coverage match, limited by state law.
Not available in all states.

Speaker 10 HomeChef is rated number one by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value, taste, and recipe ease.

Speaker 10 Whatever kind of day it is, classic recipes with fresh ingredients, 30-minute meals, oven-ready trays, or quick microwave options. HomeChef has you covered.

Speaker 10 I'm looking here at maybe our next meal, roasted salmon with ginger scallion sauce and charred green beans. Prep time, 25, 35 minutes.
Oh, difficulty level. Intermediate.
That'll be Mary then, not me.

Speaker 10 For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box plus free dessert for life. Go to homechef.com slash Ted and Woody.

Speaker 10 That's homechef.com slash Ted and Woody for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life. HomeShif.com slash Ted and Woody must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert.

Speaker 2 At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.

Speaker 4 That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.

Speaker 3 While it drives us to create what could be,

Speaker 5 that world can't wait to see what you'll do.

Speaker 6 Where will your wonder take you?

Speaker 7 And what will it make you?

Speaker 8 The University of Arizona.

Speaker 2 Wonder makes You.

Speaker 9 Start your journey at wonder.arisona.edu.

Speaker 10 All right. Do you feel like something now that you're 50, now that you've proven to yourself that you're capable of doing all of this?

Speaker 10 Do you think you look around the world and the people around you that you love and you go, all right, here's what I need to focus on because this is a little strange time we're living in.

Speaker 10 There's a lot of fear and sadness and anger. Do you feel a responsibility to shape your creativity and point it in a certain direction or certain way? Or is your job just to be

Speaker 10 not just, but to bring joy, happiness, hope, and funny through the way you still have always done things?

Speaker 11 Yeah, but yes, and like, yes, joyfulness, spreading laughter, sunshine, all of those vibes, setting the tone in a room, you know, making sure, like for me as a comedian, when I see two people in the audience that didn't come together, that are sitting together, that are like their shoulders are shaking and they're rubbing elbows with a stranger, I love that.

Speaker 11 I fucking love looking out into the audience and seeing that.

Speaker 11 But right now, we're heading into a period of time where people need to be

Speaker 11 vocal about what's happening. You know, I was, I was kind of like, okay, we already went through this presidency once.
You're not stealing my joy.

Speaker 11 So I've tried to be discerning about when to comment and when to chime in because once again, I am just a public figure. Not everybody cares about my opinion.
I understand that.

Speaker 11 But we're now, we've entered a time where it's really

Speaker 11 imperative that we do speak up and say something, and that everybody does.

Speaker 10 It doesn't matter if you're public or private. This is unacceptable.

Speaker 11 The censorship and this idea of the freedom of speech eroding, and among all the other horrifying things that have been happening in our country.

Speaker 11 I want to remain optimistic because that's my nature.

Speaker 11 And I do think as women, they're like as a woman, it's so important for me to instill confidence and hope and optimism into other women first and foremost.

Speaker 11 And I think that's one of the main reasons why we're in this situation is because of men's fear of women and how powerful and successful we are and have become.

Speaker 11 And they, you know, they don't like that. those kinds of men.

Speaker 11 And that's, and this is kind of like, you know, hopefully the death cough of that kind of autocracy and peeling back of rights in our country.

Speaker 11 But it won't be unless we're all really, really vocal about it. And then obviously in a very nonviolent way, nobody wants violence.
I don't want violence. I don't want guns.
I don't want any of this.

Speaker 11 But we have to figure out a way to organize and galvanize because this is really getting scary.

Speaker 10 I agree. I'm not necessarily the person who speaks out other than talking through Oceania and talking about oceans and stuff that I feel I have license to.

Speaker 10 I'm not the guy in the streets, but I'm beginning to think streets meaning peaceful demonstration. And here, someone said, Why don't you go? And I just explained what I just said to you.

Speaker 10 But the truth is, when you demonstrate, you're showing to all the other people out there that you're not alone. There are a lot of people that feel the same way you do.

Speaker 10 And speaking out, even if you're, you know, just speaking out like we are now, it shows that

Speaker 11 up to other people that you're they're not alone and so i think it is good to speak out even though i'm conflict avoidance i i understand that but it's also about you know the protection and care of others you know a big like a line that people say a lot i hear a lot is well it doesn't affect me that doesn't affect me that doesn't affect me and it's like okay as a defense for voting for certain policies or voting for a candidate like Trump when he's against women's rights or abortion rights.

Speaker 11 And it's like, it doesn't,

Speaker 10 I'm not getting pregnant.

Speaker 11 You know what I mean? It doesn't affect me either, actually, but it affects everybody else. So it's like, get out of your own backyard is kind of my feeling.
It's not that you're fighting necessarily.

Speaker 11 Obviously, I can leave this country if I want to. You know, I have the ability to do that.
I'm not fighting on behalf of myself.

Speaker 11 I'm standing up for what I believe is right and for all of the other people who don't have the guts or the, you know, or are too fearful to speak up.

Speaker 11 Like, that's who you're speaking up for is what I would say to anybody who is speaking up, you know, that's how I think about it anyway. It's not just about you.

Speaker 11 It's about all of us together, which is, you know, going back to your Oceana, that is about all of us. I mean, look what we've done to the ocean.

Speaker 10 It's despicable.

Speaker 11 Like we ruined the land and then we went and ruined the ocean.

Speaker 10 Yeah. I think you have to be smart about picking your fight.

Speaker 11 Would you mind keeping your hands where I can see them?

Speaker 10 I mean, it's behind oh okay i just

Speaker 10 but one of them was moving around and i was are we on camera i'm filming is this literally i'm filming you

Speaker 10 this is a live instagram actually it's not your podcast anymore i had a lower spine itch okay lower spine pretty that's a little too specific to be believable

Speaker 10 Do you play Wordle in the morning? Do you do? Yeah.

Speaker 11 That is the, you're the third person who has asked me that in the day.

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 11 No, I don't play Wordle. I do Duolingo in the mornings, actually.

Speaker 10 Oh,

Speaker 10 what are you lingoing from?

Speaker 11 Estoy pendiendo Español.

Speaker 10 Oh, fancy. But not from Duolingo.

Speaker 11 I take Spanish classes, but I supplement it every morning.

Speaker 10 Si, porque Español. Oh, never.
Don't follow me.

Speaker 11 No problema.

Speaker 10 Why are you thinking of, or you just want to

Speaker 10 have your brain?

Speaker 11 I have a house in Spain, and I spend a lot of time in Spain.

Speaker 10 So don't tell me where. South Sun, where?

Speaker 11 Mallorca.

Speaker 10 Oh, there you are. There you are.
It's a big island. Yeah.
Find me if you can. Well done.
Yeah. Thank you.
When did you do that?

Speaker 11 About 10 years ago. I gave that to myself as a gift after my, I think I left Chelsea Late Leaves before I started at my Netflix show.
And I went on vacation to Mallorca for my girlfriend's 40th.

Speaker 11 And I was like, what is this place? This is like majestic. Have you been to Mallorca?

Speaker 10 I have not or Menorca either. I have friends that do have a house.
Okay.

Speaker 11 Well, if and when you you go you will experience the magic that this island has it's like it's very pink the atmosphere like the light is pink everything's always pink in the sky the sunsets are pink it's very beautiful and vertiginous so there's like lots of mountain biking and a lot of road biking what is the foliage is it desert

Speaker 11 it's arid it's dry yeah dry and mountain and mountainous but it's beautiful Anyway, I go there as much as I can. And yeah, I have a place there.
I do that in the summertime.

Speaker 11 And then in the winter, I go skiing. I love to ski.

Speaker 10 I've heard, but I don't, I just can't watch because you might be naked. Yeah, I can't.

Speaker 11 I'm not naked. I'm in a bathing suit.

Speaker 10 Okay, all right.

Speaker 11 Sometimes people think I am naked when I'm not naked.

Speaker 11 But I don't go around naked. I don't know what anyone's talking about.
Actually, I know exactly what they're talking about.

Speaker 11 But typically I wear bathing suits when I ski for my birthday only.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Not on the regular. Do you have a lot of girlfriends? I do.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 I have a lot of like groups of friends that I'm on like, you know, part of. Like I'm not the main group.
I like floating from group to group to group.

Speaker 11 I have lots of different girlfriends and lots of different,

Speaker 11 you know, like groups. And I kind of am a floater.

Speaker 10 You are.

Speaker 10 Did you and Woody get along and recognize each other?

Speaker 11 Yeah. The first time I met Woody.

Speaker 11 Yes, absolutely. We recognized the spirit within one another for sure.

Speaker 11 The first time I met Woody was at Willie Nelson's 90th birthday at the Hollywood Bowl, which someone else was hosting, but somehow I think Ethan Hawk was hosting.

Speaker 11 But at some point in the night, he was like, you just do it.

Speaker 11 But we were smoking joints backstage and it was ridiculous. And at a certain point, somebody was too stoned to go out.
And they're like, Chelsea, you do it. You do it.
I'm like, I'm stoned too.

Speaker 11 They're like, yeah, but you can do this with your eyes closed.

Speaker 11 And they wanted me to walk out on this like ramp that they had built, this like overhang overhang that went over the audience at Hollywood Bowl.

Speaker 11 And I was like, There's no way I'm walking that far in this condition. I was like, I'll go out to the center of the stage and read this script, but I am not walking.

Speaker 11 And they were like, Okay, just whatever, do anything. So it was one of those nights.
And that's the first time I met him. And then I met him after at a friend's house.

Speaker 10 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 10 He's,

Speaker 10 I, he's my magnificent friend who I love.

Speaker 11 He's a lover.

Speaker 10 Yeah, he's lovable. I adore him.
And he's such a bundle of contradictions.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 He'd come back on Monday on cheers and the rest of us guys were all married and we'd immediately wag our fingers. Come here, come here.
Sharing. Yeah.
Sharing what did you do? Totally.

Speaker 10 And he would have gotten in two bar fights.

Speaker 10 His car had been hijacked, carjacked. I mean, literally, this happened to him.
And all these stories. And then you'd go, part of your brain went, okay, I got who he is.
I'll put him right over here.

Speaker 10 And then he'd say, would you read this this play I just wrote? And it's like the most magnificent, gorgeous play you've ever heard.

Speaker 10 And a poem he just wrote. And he's like this bundle.
Wow. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 10 He's a redneck hippie, as some friends like that. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 11 That's a good description.

Speaker 10 One other quick thing on Shears. Did you know Kirsty Alley?

Speaker 11 Yes, but not well, not like you did.

Speaker 10 We used to call her a biker chick from hell.

Speaker 10 There is a similarity in your laugh. It's several times you've laughed.
I went, oh, my God, that's a curse. Oh, really? Sorry, I had to get that out of my mind.

Speaker 10 She was magnificent.

Speaker 11 Yeah, she was magnificent. Yeah, she had a big energy about her.

Speaker 11 I like that.

Speaker 11 I like when you see people and you can see their energy. You know what I mean? Like, there's something exciting about that.
It's very magnetic.

Speaker 10 I agree. Yes.
I agree. That's why I hang out with

Speaker 10 your wife. That's why you hang out with your wife.

Speaker 11 Mary's got that.

Speaker 10 She has a big light around her she does yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure we're we're similarly shy in some marriage but we're 72 and 77 so that could have something to do with the fact that i don't jump off tall buildings with woody right right that's okay yes you have to protect your coccy

Speaker 10 i do that's right and i do yeah

Speaker 11 okay tell me about your books well i always just feel like when I have something to say, stand up and like books, it's kind of a lot of crossover, you know, like stand-ups, my stand-up is very much about storytelling.

Speaker 11 I just announced a new tour I'm doing next year. It's called the High and Mighty tour because I'm going to be high

Speaker 11 and mighty. Yeah, it starts in February, but tickets have just gone on sale.
So I'm excited about that.

Speaker 11 And I'm excited about,

Speaker 11 you know, weaving just the stories of my life together. Like I have, I think in order to have anything to say, you kind of have to live a life.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 11 You have to go out and experience things in order to communicate your and to, and not every comic is a storyteller. They're not, some of them are just telling jokes.

Speaker 11 That's like real traditional joke telling, which I always love and admire. You, you actually know less about them after the set, you know what I mean? Or nothing new.

Speaker 11 Whereas my stories are really personal. I have a great big family.
So, my books have been kind of like another avenue of communication between my stand-up and my books.

Speaker 11 The books are there permanently. The stand-up is very movable.
But there's definitely overlap in between the two. And

Speaker 11 writing is just a different skill set that I didn't ever think I, I didn't graduate from college. I didn't think I could become a New York Times best-selling author.

Speaker 11 I took such joy in the first time that I was a New York Times, number one New York Times bestseller.

Speaker 11 I took such joy in calling my brothers and sisters who've all graduated from college and telling them that I was the one with the number one New York Times bestseller book.

Speaker 11 And my sister's like, a book, when I got my book deal, I remember my sister going, a book about what?

Speaker 11 And I was like, don't worry about it.

Speaker 10 Don't worry about it.

Speaker 11 It was a book about one night stands, but it started my book career, which was, has been really bountiful. So I loved writing.
I love getting better at writing.

Speaker 11 And I think to be a good writer, you really have to be a good reader and a good listener, you know?

Speaker 11 Like, I think listening is one of the most important things that you can do when you're with someone new and to gain information. And reading is listening.

Speaker 11 You know, it's kind of all goes hand in hand.

Speaker 10 So I'm being very thick right now. Reading is, I love this, but do it again in different words.

Speaker 11 Reading is you're taking in someone else's story. Listening is the same thing.
So reading and listening aren't that far away.

Speaker 10 I'm sorry. Forgive me.
Reading. What did you think I said? Writing.

Speaker 10 Sorry. Reading.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 Reading is listening, you know, like to focus. You know, we've lost so much focus, you know, now with social media and all the nonsense and all the noise.
It's really hard to focus.

Speaker 11 And I'm sure you've probably done this, but the other day I put my phone away for eight or nine hours and just read books. You know, I had three books and I rotated between the three.

Speaker 11 And the like, the level of sanity and joy that I felt,

Speaker 11 you know, I was like, oh, this is what life is supposed to be like.

Speaker 10 I I know I'm on holiday when I have two or three hardcover books. Yeah, I love them.
That to me is holiday. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Did you ever read the book A History of Love by Nicholas Krauss?

Speaker 10 Yes. No.

Speaker 11 Oh, no.

Speaker 11 That's a great book for you and Mary to read together. The History of Love or A History of Love.

Speaker 10 The History of Love, I think it's called.

Speaker 10 I should. And there's no reason what I'm about to say would make me not want to read that book.
But I've discovered why I did so poorly in school. I had to work so hard.
I'm going to scratch.

Speaker 10 You're a concept. No, no, no, no.
It's up

Speaker 10 above the spine.

Speaker 10 Mid. Okay.

Speaker 10 Thank you.

Speaker 10 I have trouble.

Speaker 10 I think it's a real learning issue thing where I can read, but I can't read to

Speaker 10 retain information. Oh, really? Yep.

Speaker 10 And I had that trouble as a kid in high school

Speaker 10 writing papers and stuff. I can read novels that thrill me, but don't ask me to tell you about the story too much later.
Everything that I need to know and retain, I want to hear.

Speaker 10 I learn lines with my daughter teaching them to me. So you're an auditory learner.
I am. Right.

Speaker 11 I understand that. Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 11 I do better reading than listening.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 11 But,

Speaker 11 I mean,

Speaker 11 You know, books, like if you listen to a book, do you listen to it on tape or do you read it?

Speaker 10 I read it. Oh, you do?

Speaker 10 I will want to read it. Yes.
But if it's like, read it, because you're going to have to write a paper, I'm out.

Speaker 11 Right, right, right, right, right. I mean, I'm out too for that.

Speaker 11 I don't want to write a paper. I don't want to be responsible.
If I'm going to write something, I'm going to write a book, not a paper.

Speaker 11 That feels like you have to deliver it to somebody's expectations, you know? And I'm really just trying to meet. my audience's expectations.
It's not even my own anymore.

Speaker 11 It's like I want to be there for my audience in a way that's going to support and kind of show them.

Speaker 11 Like my most recent book was, it was about just becoming the kind of woman that I am and what I've done and how the times I've fallen off the, off the track and the people who've helped me get back on track, which have always been women.

Speaker 11 You know, I tell a story in my most recent book about Jane Fonda kind of calling me out on my bad behavior when I was young. This was like 15, 10, 15 years ago.
And she's a very close friend of mine.

Speaker 11 I know you work with her too for the climate stuff and her PAC.

Speaker 11 And

Speaker 11 she took me aside once when I was, you know, badly behaved and just not in a good place in my life and just kind of like, you know,

Speaker 11 desultory, listless, floating around, not really having any direction.

Speaker 11 What was working me for me so early in my career had kind of stopped working for me. And then I was just kind of stuck and I had become angry about

Speaker 11 stuff from my childhood that I hadn't, you know, talked about with anyone professional. And she kind of called me out.
She didn't kind of, she did.

Speaker 10 Oh, she's very blunt.

Speaker 11 And we had a talk and she was like, that's unacceptable. Like you have so much talent.

Speaker 11 Like you better go and figure out what's, what your plan is, you know, and how to be, not be a product of your environment, but make your environment a product of you.

Speaker 11 And that was a very powerful thing to hear at a time in my life where I really needed to hear it. But beyond that, it was such a measure of of sisterhood.

Speaker 10 Like

Speaker 11 that was a woman demonstrating to me what a real sister does.

Speaker 11 And not just for another woman, but for anyone in your life to have the difficult conversation that is uncomfortable, but will yield such great results if the person is actually listening.

Speaker 10 Yeah. Jane Fonda made such a huge difference in my life.

Speaker 10 I remember this is something she said to Mary.

Speaker 10 We had them over for dinner, the book club actors.

Speaker 10 And as she was leaving, she turned to Mary out on the street and said, Are we going to be friends?

Speaker 10 And this is Mary, who, you know, knows her a little bit, but is smitten by the Jane fonda that we're all smitten by. And she goes, yes.

Speaker 10 And she said, all right, good.

Speaker 10 We need to be intentional.

Speaker 10 I'm not going to live forever. And if you want to be friends, we need to be intentional.
And I love that because it's so true. There are people that

Speaker 10 that I say, I do love them and I appreciate them and I can't wait to see them again. That's not enough.
Yeah. You really need to show up.
You need to knock on their door and go, come.

Speaker 11 Yeah, you need to water the garden.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you really do.

Speaker 11 Yeah, that's, that's true. And especially like in this town, you know, everything can kind of be like transitory or, or transactional.

Speaker 11 Like, you know, people float around and it's an, it's easy to sometimes retreat and not want to be social. I certainly understand that as well.

Speaker 11 You know, I'm not, while I can be very social, there are times where I'm like, I can absolutely not go out tonight. I can't go out this whole week.

Speaker 11 Like I need to recover or I need to, you know, ground myself or get grounded or whatever that means. But it is nice to make the effort to spend time with the people that inspire you.

Speaker 11 And that, you know, I've recently just spent like, I've seen Jane like once a week for the past six weeks, which is unusual for us, but I love it.

Speaker 11 And then I was on my flight to New York and she was sitting two seats over from me. I didn't even know until I got up and I saw her head from the back of her seat.
I'm like, I know that head.

Speaker 11 I'm like, that's Jane's head. And I was like, Jane.

Speaker 11 And it's sure enough, it was Jane, you know, and I, but, but it feels good to spend, I know exactly what she means by being intentional with your friendship. Yeah.

Speaker 10 HomeChef is rated number one by users of other meal kits for quality, convenience, value, taste, and recipe ease.

Speaker 10 Whatever kind of day it is, classic recipes with fresh ingredients, 30-minute meals, oven-ready trays, or quick microwave options, Home Chef has you covered.

Speaker 10 I'm looking here at maybe our next meal, roasted salmon with ginger scallion sauce and charred green beans. Prep time, 25, 35 minutes.
Oh, difficulty level. Intermediate.
That'll be Mary then, not me.

Speaker 10 For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box, plus free dessert for life. Go to homechef.com slash Ted and Woody.

Speaker 10 That's homechef.com slash Ted and Woody for 50% off your first box and free dessert for life. HomeChef.com slash Ted and Woody must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert.

Speaker 2 At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.

Speaker 4 That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.

Speaker 3 While it drives us to create what could be,

Speaker 5 that world can't wait to see what you'll do.

Speaker 6 Where will your wonder take you?

Speaker 7 And what will it make you?

Speaker 8 The University of Arizona.

Speaker 2 Wonder makes you.

Speaker 9 Start your journey at wonder.arrizona.edu.

Speaker 10 I make jokes about myself and whatever, but it is true for me that I, one of the reasons why I'm not Woody, who is incredibly social and there's a party wherever he goes, a real good one.

Speaker 10 Not, I mean, I wish I were that way, but I've always, the fellowship of men

Speaker 10 to me has always been very, it's lovely, very relaxing, and beside the point.

Speaker 10 My relationship and everything I get out of life comes from women and not women, big general women, but relationship.

Speaker 10 Everything I need.

Speaker 10 I'm not saying this is right, probably not, but everything I need, I have with Mary, literally. Everything I need.
That's so nice. I feel like if I, you know, I'm about to die, I will go, ha,

Speaker 10 I did it. I know what it's like to be

Speaker 10 the best part about about being human, to feel loved and to be able to love, that kind of circular thing that happens.

Speaker 11 Yeah.

Speaker 10 It's just heaven on earth.

Speaker 10 I wish I were more woody-like. I could work on that, but that is my truth.
My goodies come from Mary. And we found each other late in life.

Speaker 11 Which is even better. How old were you guys when you got together?

Speaker 10 45. She was 40.
We both knew that we could fuck up any relationship. We literally said separately to ourselves, oh, I'm just not meant to be in a relationship.

Speaker 10 You know, Mary said, I look like I should be good at a relationship. Obviously, I'm not.
And I knew I could fuck up anything.

Speaker 10 And then we found each other.

Speaker 11 And what are your, like, what is your, if you had to pick your favorite thing about Mary, what would it be?

Speaker 11 You have to pick one thing.

Speaker 10 Wow,

Speaker 10 you made me cry.

Speaker 11 I would love to make you cry on your your own podcast.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Wow.

Speaker 10 One thing is so hard.

Speaker 10 God, her kindness, her willingness, her

Speaker 10 fact that she witnesses all of me.

Speaker 10 There's nothing she doesn't know about me.

Speaker 10 She knows more about me than I do.

Speaker 10 Kind. She's incredibly kind, even though she's not always nice, according to her.

Speaker 10 I will be always nice and charming and nice. She will be that kind of deep kindness like Jane telling you, stop doing that.
That's deep kindness. Yeah.
Charming is make you laugh and da-da-da-da.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 She's so beautiful physically. Inside, outside.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 You're lucky that you guys found each other.

Speaker 10 Oh, very, very.

Speaker 11 Yeah. I'm going to need a later in life relationship also.
I'm 50, so I'm going to have to start finding, I mean, I don't have to, but I could see myself meeting someone now that I'm

Speaker 11 confident in my decision-making around choosing partners. I trust myself a lot more than I did when I was young.

Speaker 11 So I would make better decisions now. So I'm like, oh, I wonder what will happen because somebody's going to come along.
You know, there's going to be

Speaker 11 men. So I'm very excited to see what the future holds.

Speaker 10 Oh, yeah. I mean, clearly you're magnificent.
I mean, you are.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 so that ain't a problem. That's up to you and what you, I guess, want.

Speaker 11 Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah.

Speaker 11 But what you sound, I mean, what you're saying sounds, I mean, anyone who's listening to that and your description of all the things you appreciate about her is such, is so emblematic of the ideal.

Speaker 11 And that is a truth. That's your truth.

Speaker 11 you're living proof that that exists and a lot of people think like oh it doesn't it does and it can exist with if there's not just one person you know that it can exist with for you you found your person but for a lot of people they think oh as soon as like you know or if i they don't understand that that that's possible what you're describing and it's possible i believe with more than one person that you meet in life oh i'm sure it must be yeah yeah

Speaker 10 what i'm about bouncing for a minute, if you describe your faith, your inner little flame, the thing, what is that?

Speaker 11 My faith.

Speaker 10 Your faith, that

Speaker 10 moral center of yourself. Where does that come from? Or is it describable?

Speaker 11 I think I saw my dad. My dad was a used car dealer.
So he was pretty shifty.

Speaker 10 And I remember being like, I don't think so, buddy.

Speaker 11 Like he would ask, I mean, he would sell cars that were in bad condition for way more than they were. He would lie about all of the work that they had done on the car.

Speaker 11 He'd be like, oh, this transmission's brand new. And I'd be like, oh, God.
Like, I just saw him lie in real time. And I just knew I could never, I wanted to be just the opposite of that.

Speaker 11 So my moral compass is what, what am I going to do when no one's looking? A, I always think about that. When I'm alone, I'm like, okay, you know, if you want to like, who are you when you are alone?

Speaker 11 And what are the choices that you make?

Speaker 11 And I'm pretty proud of myself for not being for sale. You know, I've had a lot of opportunities to

Speaker 11 not sell my soul to the devil, you know, like what's happening with this Trump administration.

Speaker 11 And, you know, for instance, with all these people that are kind of capitulating, like, not I'm not doing that. You know, I'll leave before that happens, or, but I'm not ever going to do that.

Speaker 11 I'm never going to say, yes, I believe in you. I believe in this.
I'm not going to ever divorce my values in exchange for money. I'm not going to, I'd rather wait tables again.

Speaker 11 Do you you know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. And every time I have to make a difficult decision or a moral decision, I'm like reminded, I'm proud.

Speaker 11 I'm like, I'm glad you just did that.

Speaker 11 You didn't have to do that, you know, like to go out of my way when I know somebody's suffering that doesn't expect anything from me, you know, to actually do things that people don't know about and help people without getting a raising a flag to it, you know, to really just think of others.

Speaker 11 So I, and, and to always kind of tell the truth, not to lie, you know. Um, I try to really, I don't try, I do it, you know, to my own, you know, detriment at times.

Speaker 11 I've been too honest and people are like, oh, you shouldn't have said that. I'm like, but I'm not going to lie.
They're like, well, you can lie. And I'm like, yeah, you can lie about little things.

Speaker 11 You can't really lie about the world we're living in or relationships, you know, and you're doing a disservice to anyone when you're lying to them because you're, you know, you're duping them.

Speaker 10 Yeah.

Speaker 10 I'm going, yeah, because I, I do. I sometimes

Speaker 10 our biggest disagreements or fights or anger come out of me doing a convenient lie, you know. Well, this is just going to upset you, so I'm not going to, you know, right.

Speaker 10 I'm going to make sure it's, yeah, it's, which is all total bullshit.

Speaker 10 But I do come around. I do come around.

Speaker 10 I have a delayed reaction, but yeah, truthfulness is

Speaker 10 so relaxing.

Speaker 10 Being truthful is relaxing. Having a lie, having a half-truth,

Speaker 10 is agonizingly exhausting. Yeah,

Speaker 11 it is really hard.

Speaker 11 Yeah, it is exhausting. I've experienced, I mean, I wasn't like this when I was younger in my 20s.

Speaker 11 Like, if I wanted to get away from a guy or break up with a guy, I would make some story up instead of just saying, I'm not, I'm done with you.

Speaker 11 And that would create a whole web of lies and then another web of lies.

Speaker 11 And then you run into him on the pier with your new boyfriend two minutes after you told him you're going to Vermont for the weekend. You know, like, so it's just one lie leads to more lies.

Speaker 11 So it's just better not to lie. And everything comes out.

Speaker 11 Oh, everything comes out in the wash. And it's like, so when you, when you see grown people lying, you're like, at some point, it's going to be revealed that this is not true.

Speaker 10 I know. I have so high.
Cause as I don't think it's just because we're actors, but if you're at all, have your headlights on, seeing politicians or people lie is so obvious. Yeah.

Speaker 11 It's so, and it's for what? Like you go into politics thinking you're going to help people and then immediately you're bought by these corporations or, you know, the NRA or whatever.

Speaker 11 And like, and then you just become a different person. Like, how do you remain true to who you are while also getting involved in that?

Speaker 11 You know, how do you be successful in life while also remaining true to the core values of who you are? And do you have values also? Like, is a question people should ask. What are your values?

Speaker 10 And also be aware that we're all slightly hypocritical. I remember ranting and railing about something

Speaker 10 early on when I was in the brick throwing stages of activism where it felt good to

Speaker 10 be simplistic and go

Speaker 10 bad person, bad person. Somebody said, you do know that NBC, this is during the height of cheers, is owned by General Electric.
And you know some of the stuff they make.

Speaker 10 You know, it's so hard to be spic and span nowadays because something you're doing

Speaker 10 is going to offend somebody. It's going to have a bad impact downstream.
It just is. So anyway, you do the best you can.

Speaker 11 Well, I mean, some people are.

Speaker 10 Am I being apologetic for not being clean as a whistle? I do think,

Speaker 10 I mean,

Speaker 10 I'm getting paid a lot of money to act nowadays by corporations. And as soon as you're into a corporate world, aren't you into

Speaker 10 it?

Speaker 11 And then you're like representing that corporate world. Some would argue and some would argue no.

Speaker 10 But

Speaker 11 yeah, it's important to do a value check, I think, with,

Speaker 11 you know, with yourself.

Speaker 10 One more silly question or many more. Magic wand, 10 years from now, what would you be doing?

Speaker 11 I would love to be living in Mallorca.

Speaker 10 Writing books from Mallorca.

Speaker 11 Yeah, I guess so. I guess I'll probably at some point have an urge to write another book.
I've written seven.

Speaker 11 So I'm kind of, you know, and every time I have one come out, I had one come out this year. I have to take at least two or three years off because it's such an undertaking.

Speaker 11 You've written a book, so you understand.

Speaker 11 Have you written more than one book?

Speaker 10 No, but let's be clear.

Speaker 10 I wrote a book with someone who was a brilliant writer. And the information in it came from Oceania.

Speaker 10 It was the state of the oceans. It's a brilliant book.
And what made me chuckle when you said number one bestseller at New York Times,

Speaker 10 the book, Oceana, was number one bestseller. Oh.

Speaker 10 For, I'm not sure if it was minutes, hours, days, maybe an afternoon, something. But if you are ever, for any amount of time,

Speaker 10 at number one spot, you are a number one, you know,

Speaker 10 New York Times bestseller. Yes.
Yeah. So, Chelsea, how long were you on the number one

Speaker 11 not not very long?

Speaker 11 I mean all of my books yeah weeks.

Speaker 10 Oh, that's the real deal. Weeks.
That's the real deal.

Speaker 11 Yeah. All of my books have been number one on the New York Times list.

Speaker 10 Mine was an afternoon.

Speaker 10 The afternoon, yeah. It was the siesta.

Speaker 11 It was the siesta version. But that's the great thing because you're on the list for at least a week.
I mean, it lasts a week. So you are number one New York Times bestseller.

Speaker 10 So that's okay. I will plug it.
If you're looking for casual reading, summer reading, do not get it.

Speaker 10 If you're a high school teacher, grab a bunch of them. Yeah, for sure.
It's an amazing educational tool. Yeah.
That should sell a lot. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 11 There's going to be a huge spike.

Speaker 10 You get these little things from your publishers, you know, I don't know, bi-weekly, bi-monthly or something saying,

Speaker 10 nope, nope, you haven't made up your, you know, you're guaranteed.

Speaker 10 Oh, right.

Speaker 10 I have yet to see a dime for that in this like 15 years.

Speaker 11 Sounds like a huge success.

Speaker 10 Huge success.

Speaker 11 Well, that's good, though, that you wrote a book about the ocean. I mean, who we need more books about the ocean.

Speaker 10 Tell me something, anything. I'm just enjoying talking to you.
What do I can I tell you?

Speaker 11 I woke up this morning and I was in a state, just for context for your listeners. This is the day after Jimmy Kimmel was taken off the air.

Speaker 11 So I woke up today and I was like, oh, God, this world, like, what are we going to do? You know, and what am I going to do specifically? Instead of just bitching, right?

Speaker 11 And I got out my phone and I have this gratitude journal in my phone. And I'm like, there's absolutely nothing to be grateful for.

Speaker 11 And I was like, that's exactly when you have to be grateful is when you feel like there's nothing to be grateful for. It's like when you read books about people, you know,

Speaker 11 in bad situations who are able to find the light and to find light in darkness, you know? So I got out my gratitude journal and it was like, say,

Speaker 11 you know, tell three things that would make today great. And I was like, I have, you know,

Speaker 11 I had a shoot this morning. I'm like, let me just have a great time, be present.
And then I have a podcast with Ted Danson. Have a great time, be present.
And then I have something else later tonight.

Speaker 11 I was like, just have a great time and be present.

Speaker 11 And I think the reminder, I bring that up to tell you that because of, I just think the value of presence is so important right now, you know, to really be present when you're in someone's audience or company, to really be there.

Speaker 11 And it's like what I was saying about listening and reading. I think that there are just such values to remain, you know, like to make sure that we're connecting with each other.

Speaker 11 There seems to be such a loss of like humanity.

Speaker 11 And so I think it's so important to remember to like be mindful about our interactions with others and to try to spread like double down on love and kindness, you know, in any way that we can, if it's with someone you do know or someone you don't know.

Speaker 11 But, you know, I had to really dig for those three moments of like, I had to get into the future for my

Speaker 11 great gratitude instead of thinking about what I was grateful for. I'm like, okay, I'm going to be grateful for these three things.

Speaker 11 So I guess, I mean,

Speaker 11 I guess the point of all of that is just to say, it's great to be present with you. And, you know, I'm appreciative of being here and sitting with you.

Speaker 10 Yeah, you're really quite wonderful. Thank you.
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
Thank you.

Speaker 11 And I'm going to fix your back.

Speaker 10 My back's fine. Thank you.

Speaker 11 I'm going to fix his cocksick.

Speaker 10 That was a treat for me, Chelsea Handler. Thank you.
Be sure to catch Chelsea in a city near you on her high and mighty tour and listen to Dear Chelsea, wherever you find your podcasts.

Speaker 10 That's all for our show this week. Special thanks to our friends at Team Coco.
Cocoa. If you enjoyed this episode, send it to someone you love.

Speaker 10 Subscribe on your favorite podcast app and maybe give us a great rating and a review on Apple Podcasts if you're in the mood.

Speaker 10 If you like watching your podcasts, all our full-length episodes are on YouTube. Visit youtube.com/slash teamcoco.
See you next time.

Speaker 10 Where everybody knows your name.

Speaker 12 You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes. The show is produced by me, Nick Liao.

Speaker 12 Our executive producers are Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross, and myself. Sarah Federovich is our supervising producer.
Engineering Remixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez.

Speaker 12 Research by Alyssa Grahl. Talent Booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista.
Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Gen, Mary Steenbergen, and John Osborne.

Speaker 10 With Disney Plus and Hulu, there is so much amazing entertainment. You'll discover something every day.

Speaker 10 Whether you're looking to binge a hilarious classic hit like Modern Family, enjoy the biggest blockbusters like Marvel Studios Thunderbolts on Disney Plus, catch the latest news on what you need to know, or check out new episodes of only murders in the building.

Speaker 10 This is the one place that has it all. Get all of this and so much more with Disney Plus and Hulu every day.
It doesn't get better than this. 18 Plus only.

Speaker 10 Offer valid for eligible subscribers only. Terms apply.

Speaker 2 At the University of Arizona, we believe that everyone is born with wonder.

Speaker 4 That thing that says, I will not accept this world that is.

Speaker 3 While it drives us to create what could be,

Speaker 5 that world can't wait to see what you'll do.

Speaker 6 Where will your wonder take you?

Speaker 7 And what will it make you?

Speaker 8 The University of Arizona.

Speaker 2 Wonder makes you.

Speaker 9 Start your journey at wonder.arizona.edu.