Randall Park

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It's just hard for me to not like be myself.

Wow.

I was about to breeze over that statement.

That's huge.

Welcome back to Where Everybody Knows Your Name.

Today I'm talking to actor and filmmaker Randall Park, known for his roles in Fresh Off the Boat, Always Be My Maybe, WandaVision, The Interview, and much more.

He's a very thoughtful guy who approaches his work with a lot of self-awareness and purpose.

And he's very likable, I might add.

Try not to like him.

It can't be done.

I mean, I tried.

And I only add that because I'm hoping he's listening and I made him laugh.

So, anyway, I'm so happy for you to meet him.

Here's Randall Park.

Yeah, thank you.

Jennifer.

I got something for you.

Oh,

shoot, because It's kind of a silly thing, but

this is

an action figure of myself.

Oh, my God.

Hey, listen.

I'm going to put this.

I don't have an action figure.

No way.

No, I have a...

Really?

I have a silly, goofy figure, but not action.

No one hires me ever to be active.

Did you have to train?

Thank you for my gift.

I'm looking at a actually pretty well done, at least the graphic on the cover of

not too bad.

Yeah, that's a character.

Kendall from WandaVision.

That's right.

And

Jimmy Woo.

The story behind that was

it came out and I was like, oh my God, I can't believe it.

I have an action figure.

And I was so happy because, you know, is this Marvel or DC?

Marvel.

That's Marvel.

And then,

you know, I bought one.

And then one day I was at.

Did you really only buy one?

I bought one.

Well, this is the story.

I bought one.

And then months later, I was at a Best Buy

and

I see

hundreds of myself on clearance sale.

Oh, no.

And I was like, oh, no.

No one's buying these.

So then I decided to buy 50 of them.

That's great and so wonderfully human that they're not rejecting you, but they are rejecting your little fake figurine here.

The people are rejecting me.

So I had to kind of help myself a little bit.

And so I have, you know, I have about like

30 of them now.

And I'm going to, I want to

wait 20 at this point.

Seriously, I think that we should only have guests from now on who will give us action figures.

So this is.

I just got

them.

I'm just unloading them, really.

I have too many, and I got, but that's for you.

Actually, I appreciate this.

Thank you.

Because I do have one.

I think it's a bobblehead from The Good Plays and Mr.

Mayor.

But yeah.

Were there any because Cheers was so big?

I'd assume there was some kind of merchandising going on.

Yeah, but mostly t-shirts and mugs and things like that.

It was pre, pretty cool dolls.

Yeah.

So what, can I quickly, we're jumping around, but Marvel, what is that?

You know, is that like Scientology?

Once you're in, you don't get out?

What?

Do you, what are those, none of my business, not financially, but are there, is there a commitment to be available to do the next Marvel that needs your character?

Not really.

I mean, I mean, I'm sure it's different for different people, but if I was like a superhero, I think

it would probably look a little different.

But because I'm a civilian, it's kind of,

you know, I'll get an inkling beforehand if they're thinking of me for something and they'll reach out and...

and I'll usually be like, absolutely, I'd love to.

And so I'll find out a little while before,

but it's not like set for me.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

You haven't signed your life away now.

You can go off and do whatever you want.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let me ask you about podcasts.

Yeah.

Do you like doing podcasts?

Yeah, good.

No, I don't.

I don't.

Why are you here?

I'm so grateful to you.

You know, I'm here because it's you.

Because it's you.

And

also, I've heard,

I was trying to remember if I had met you at one point.

Help me, help you.

No, well, I have a story about that.

But

I feel like I had, but I don't think I have.

I've just heard so much about you from friends who have worked with you.

And it's all such lovely things that when they reached out about this podcast, I was like, oh my gosh.

I felt like I, you know,

I didn't feel like I knew you, but I felt like I, I just felt like, oh, he's lovely, of course, you know.

Wow.

Because just word around town about you, as you, I'm sure you know, it's just how amazing you are.

And so it was

true.

Yeah.

It's,

and by the way, this is a podcast trick.

You fish for the compliment in the first, you know, 20 seconds, and then you can relax.

Oh, he likes me.

He really likes me.

But

I normally don't like doing these.

And I, I, why?

Because,

well,

how it works is they'll reach out about a podcast and sometimes I'll be like, oh, no,

that's not for me.

But if the person that,

you know, the person's podcast, if I'm a fan of theirs or if I, you know, if I

if they're interesting to me, I'll be like, yes.

And then as the date comes closer, I'll be like, oh my God, why did I agree to do that?

Why did I agree to do that?

I'm terrified right up.

Literally, I was terrified about you until we sat down.

And then it's like, okay, it's all right.

Yeah.

And then afterwards, usually I'm like, why did I do that?

Why did I do that?

That happens to me if I listen to the podcast.

Oh, I don't.

Which I won't.

Yeah, I don't.

No, no, no, no.

It's funny you mentioned help me help you.

Cause

when people,

when I've been asked about like low points in my like acting journey, you know,

the first story is a Help Me Help You story.

I was never on it.

Right.

I was barely on it.

Just to set it up, it was a sitcom, beautiful, beautiful, wonderful, talented writers and cast, and it just didn't quite work.

And this was about, I don't know, 15 years ago, maybe.

Like a season?

Maybe a season.

Okay.

Yeah.

At that time, I was like several years into pursuing this acting career and I was

really broke

and really struggling.

And it was one of those where, you know, I didn't book anything for a long, I mean, it had to been like, I don't know, seven months since I had, seven, eight months since I had booked anything.

And I told myself, you know, I can't, I can't take this anymore.

This is, this is, this is too hard.

And then I got this.

one audition and I was like, you know what, this, I'm just going to

give it my all, this audition, because the audition came.

The role was like pretty, pretty right for me.

It felt comfortable for me.

And I was like, I'm just going to put everything into this and all my hopes and dreams in this one audition.

And if it, you know, works out, then I'll stay in the game.

And if it doesn't.

And I, and I had rent due, could not, you know, I did not have the money.

And I was like, so there were multiple reasons why this booking, it was very irrational for me to put so much onto this one gig, but

it felt right, the role.

And

at the time, I was doing, I was in this kind of theater company,

this Asian American theater company.

We were doing shows around town.

And so I was like doing that.

I was kind of trying to do everything I could to kind of keep.

my spirits up and to stay active.

But I was just broke, you know?

And then this audition comes.

I go in, I work really hard on it, and I felt so good.

I felt so good.

And good in the room.

In the room.

Yeah.

And I was playing.

I was improvising.

I was, but I was, you know, like, I knew that, I knew, I was, felt very comfortable.

I knew the, knew the script, knew the, I had my arc.

I had, you know, I just put everything into it and it paid off.

And

I got a call back, and I'm like, oh boy.

Okay.

Go into the callback.

I kill it.

Even better.

I do even better than the first time.

I feel so loose.

I feel so just connected.

And

if I remember, there were like producers in the room and

the director.

Probably.

Yeah.

I mean, it was, I just felt so

this, this, oh, this was just for, this was a guest star just a guest star uh like uh uh maybe a couple days work but it was a big opportunity for me i had i don't think i had booked a guest star at that point

going to the callback kill it

and uh and i'm like oh this is a sign this is this means i was meant to do this

I was meant to do this because it all right when at my breaking point, the right thing came.

And, you know, and then you start fantasizing, oh, they're going to like me so much.

They'll bring me back in.

And, you know, this is going to turn into a

series regular, you know.

Get home, call my agent.

I've never had an audition as good as that.

The agent's like, great.

Couple days, you know, a couple of days pass.

I'm like,

what's going on?

This is like,

you know, they should be calling me.

Why aren't they calling me?

You know what?

I'll call my my agent, call my agent.

I'm like, hey, what's going on with that role?

My agent

goes, Give me a, give me a minute, let me, let me find out.

Calls me back and it's like, you know what?

They loved you.

They loved you.

Oh,

they really, they, they, they love you.

Wow.

They love you.

It's down to you and one other person.

Oh, that's horrible to hear, though, isn't it?

Yeah.

And I shouldn't have asked who the other person is.

And I was like, who is this?

Who's the, who's the other person and it was this great actor uh his name is Eddie Shin

dear friend he is in that theater group with me

we're in the theater group together and he is and I always thought he was so much better than me and and he worked a ton and and and he is just he's a fantastic actor someone who really inspired me, you know.

But it was, he was my friend, you know?

And I was like, oh no.

Well, you know what?

It's okay because I killed it.

I killed it.

And

Eddie's great, but

no one could have done what I did in that room.

Few days pass.

Still haven't heard anything.

We'll find out on Friday.

Friday comes.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, they haven't.

They haven't made a decision yet.

And now I have to wait the weekend.

And the whole weekend, I'm like, oh gosh, you know, just more and more anxiety.

Monday, nothing.

Tuesday, I'm like, okay,

what's going on?

Call my agent.

They're like, oh, oh, yeah, they gave it to Eddie.

And I remember sitting in my apartment, my studio apartment, and just breaking down, crying.

And I had never done that, you know, before for like this, you know,

for like an audition, you know, especially just like a one day or two-day guest star audition.

It was, and I, I've had so many heartaches and heartbreaks and,

you know, just

horrible kind of experiences.

And, but when I think back, that was the hardest.

That two-day guest star and help me help you was the hardest for me because I needed it so bad right at that time, you know?

And

then also to lose it to a friend who, you know,

who hadn't told you.

No, yeah.

No, and I don't think I even told him.

You know, yeah, yeah, because I didn't want to like jinx it.

I was just like, just leave it.

Yeah.

You know.

And

it was, it was devastating.

It was devastating.

For my part in that.

And I blame you.

So you sorry.

That's why I'm here.

I know.

I noticed you put little horns on my.

So wait, wait, keep going.

Then that was it.

And then afterwards, I was like, I'm done.

I'm done.

And I think I don't remember exactly what happened, but I probably.

Sometimes when you give up in life is when

that door opens where you're really supposed to go through because you probably were auditioning towards the end of the season of Help Me Help You, which means you would have been on it and then the whole show got canceled, which may have been

even more devastating.

I'm making an excuse.

You are.

That would have been a lot.

I would have loved, yeah, because I would have gotten paid for those couple of days.

I would have been able to pay rent.

So sorry.

But what was, what was

great.

I mean, in retrospect, I'm so glad I went through that.

And I'm so glad I went through multiple versions of that, never quite as hard for some reason as that, that day, but

and even crazier things happening.

But I mean, that was, that was, you know, to me, at that time, particularly, it was a, it was a game of perseverance.

You know, it was just like, can you, yeah,

do you love this enough to, to, to kind of stick with it?

And

that was like a big challenge for me.

And you better have a passion.

for the process.

Yeah.

Or else if you, if it's just how do I get ahead?

How do I become famous?

It's that would be unbearable.

Oh, yeah.

But you can at least go back and go, all right, but this is what I have to do in life.

Yes, yes.

And somehow persevere.

But oh, my God.

It's when we've had kids.

Our kids are now in their 40s.

My wife, Mary Steenbergen, and I have both had two kids.

I mean, brought two kids together to our relationship.

Anyway, some of them decided to be actors for a while.

And it's like you want to be supportive of everything creative.

Yeah.

And we were, but inside, you're just dying because you know what a life of rejection

it can be.

If you're lucky.

That's right.

You know, if you're lucky.

So what was that thing that after total despair?

Can I just throw in my little story around that?

Please.

Which was.

I think I was probably 50 when I did Help Me, Help You, and they were wonderful writers.

Truly wonderful.

So this is not on them.

Because I think we, I don't even know if we completed

a season but let's say it was one season and then we got canceled yeah and it was for me that period where oh i'm no longer able to play that sam malone slash aging adolescent slash you know thing i and i think i was being called to do that and i was willing to jump in and do it and it didn't work it didn't fit me yeah and

i i came out of that and said all right i'm i'm not going to do comedy anymore.

I'm not going to do TV.

People are doing it so much better than me.

Out of Help Me Help You.

Yeah, out of Help Me Help You.

And I, and to those who are listening who are involved, truly lots of respect.

But for me, it was like, oh, I need to not do this anymore.

I'm not funny.

There are people doing this kind of thing that are really funny.

This is after

getting canceled.

So many, but this is after, what,

10, 11 seasons of cheers?

Like, and, and.

Right, but you know this, that you, you can't go repeat what you did last year.

For sure, for sure.

So it was, yes, you had a great run being that, but that ain't you anymore.

That's right.

Yeah.

And I remember calling Jeffrey Katzenberg and saying, put me, please put, we had had a relationship because of three man had a baby.

Yeah.

Put me in anything.

Put, don't pay me.

Don't bill me.

Don't do anything small apart, but let me start trying to build a movie career again.

Yeah, yeah.

It was devastating.

Oh, wow.

But go back to you.

What, what?

what's

that's so that's so

crazy to me, especially now, you know, like, like thinking that you, because at that point,

in my mind, you were already kind of legendary and iconic and you could probably do anything you wanted to do, you know.

For me to put my story next to your story is full of shit because I was filthy rich at the time.

I think I was your landlord, to be honest.

And I want to apologize for that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

you evicted me so

so what what gave you hope next what allowed you to go all right i'm up i'm gonna i'm gonna make it you know i think it was a few things it was

it was

doing that work in the theater company you know because that was a source of validation and a source of just acting and and writing and working and and and and seeing you know the the rush of being on stage and i think that kind of,

you know, after a period of, oh, I'm not going to pursue this professionally.

I'm just going to do this, you know, I think that kind of slowly brought me back to pursuing it professionally.

And then I also think it was just this change of mindset,

which I think happened around this time,

if not even a little before, where

I was like, you know, I don't have to

I don't have to be famous or rich even.

I just, if I could just eke out a living.

Yeah, if I could eat, if I could even, not even eke out a living, but I could work part-time jobs.

I could work full-time jobs.

As long as I could do this afterwards and

keep doing it, then I, that'll be a good life.

Yeah.

So I think the

coming to terms with

what was most likely, which was that it was going to be

not a hobby, but just something

that

I could always do, but not necessarily like in,

you know,

professionally.

I was okay with that, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

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We're gonna jump all around because that's my brain, but

shortcomings.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, directed.

To me, it's like,

let me ask you, is this

where you would like to live in this area of directing your own work?

It's definitely,

it was such a great experience that it's definitely something I want to keep doing

along with writing.

keep writing and kind of doing everything.

Yeah.

Stuff that I was doing in that theater company.

Right.

You know.

And earlier, if I read this correctly, that you were, you would

do stuff in your parents' backyard.

That's right.

That's right.

You know, that's right.

And you

studied architecture or were involved with graphic design.

Graphic design.

Yeah.

Asian American studies

at UCLA.

That's right.

All these things that you did.

Music is a big part of your life,

which to me is, oh, you're a director in the making, because if you have that vast a curiosity and different creative outlets, that to me is somebody I would want to

work for as a director.

I want someone way smarter than me that knows a lot about everything.

Or at least, you know, you know, that may not fit you in your mind, but

it seems like it does.

I never thought of like, I never like, as I was going through doing all these different things, I never thought, you know, that

I'd be utilizing all those skills, you know, for a specific job.

But I would say you're right.

Like, directing definitely is like,

I mean, it's just

there's so much to do, you know, there's, and you're utilizing so many parts of your brain.

And

those were parts that were, you know, yeah, were exercised for me and during different like phases of my, you know, my

progression.

And

in that sense, it was very fulfilling because it definitely felt like, oh, gosh, I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm, I feel very alive right now because everything's firing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And so, so it was, it was great.

And I, and I can't wait to do it again.

Had you picked up camera knowledge and language and lighting or, you you know because i as an actor i i could not direct my way out of a paper bag if i had to although i've been in front of cameras and all of that forever yeah because i don't observe that did you have a sense of what cameras lenses and all of that a little bit uh a little bit i you know during one of again during kind of these these periods of just struggle and not working that much and and uh

uh

just wanting to keep acting even though like the work wasn't being offered or even the opportunity the opportunities to audition weren't coming my way there was a period where the you know the technology had had kind of caught up to

to me and and and my friends and and and

you know i'd have a friend who had a camera and another friend who had lighting equipment and so there was like a period where we were just making a ton of shorts and web stuff.

And

there was a thing called Channel 101 out here in LA.

It still might be going on.

And it was a

monthly

web series competition.

And I used, and basically you'd every month, you'd screen

a pilot.

And if the live audience liked it, then you got to make the next episode.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

And then the next month you'd screen that episode.

If they'd like it, then you get to make the

third episode, you know, know and and it kind of kept going as long as the audience voted for it and uh and i got involved in that community and started making just a bunch of uh you know writing directing shooting with my friends working on other people's projects it was like a small tv network with a budget that came from somewhere else no budget no budget so outside of like what you know what we'd pay for like wigs or you know but usually there was a friend with wigs uh usually there was a friend who had a oh

they they have a nice house.

Let's use that person's house.

You know,

there was always somebody with that resource and

who are also part of the community.

So, it felt like very,

very much we had the world at our fingertips.

And how long did you have in this competition to shoot your next episode?

We had a month to write it, cast, you know, cast it or

find locations, uh shoot it edit it and then submit it and and then the next month they screen it uh it's an amazing discipline amazing it was incredible yeah because you could with the technology make something that looked like a feature film yeah the lighting package was small and you could some people in that i mean some people in that community

they were so that yeah they made like professional quality things you you know uh my my stuff looked a little more shoddy but the you know but the writing was you know and and the performing and you know like it was

everyone kind of had their strengths and their you know um so it was a great community to be a part of and it was started by dan harmon uh uh uh who created community and

uh rick and morty and and and rob shraub and these two guys started this this thing and it was uh uh

i think it's still going on but it was such a great

thing for me at that time because it just kept me creative and it kept me and I was and I got to direct and I got to write and I got to act and I got to work with friends and cast and do everything.

When you were

not struggling, but when you weren't making money necessarily as an actor, writer, director, were you married at that time or was that single years?

I was single for

a lot of it and then uh

and then married during it

right yeah

somebody somebody uh agreed to marry me uh during that time

want to name her her name is jay

uh uh and she's an actress she's an actress and uh and at the time was you know we were kind of both in the same boat you know and and experiencing similar things so so we kind of really understood each other on that level.

And, and, uh, uh, how'd you meet?

We met at an audition.

We met at an audition.

Yeah.

It was in a waiting room of an audition.

Uh, we had seen each other.

So, so we had seen each other at a, at a party

one night from across a room type of thing.

And our eyes locked.

And I thought, oh, wow, she is so beautiful.

And then a guy comes, walks right up to her and they walk together.

And I'm like, oh, okay, she, you know, that's fine.

Not that I was going to do anything anyways.

I mean, that's, you know, uh, but we just kind of momentarily locked eyes.

And then a couple of days later, uh,

uh, I go into an audition for a pilot and she's sitting there and it's just her

and uh in this big empty waiting room.

And uh, I go to sign my name and uh uh

we find out that we're or I i see that we're in this we have the same agency you know at the time and uh uh so i sit down and we we just start talking and uh uh and it we're just connecting like immediately just last

story too by the way in hindsight oh good that's cool and uh uh we're just

we feel so comfortable and uh uh and we're talking for like i don't know it felt like 30 minutes or so it was a long wait And at this point, no one else has come into the waiting room.

It's just us two.

And then the casting director calls her in.

And I'm thinking, and so she goes into the hallway, goes into the casting, and I'm thinking, oh, she's going to come out back.

And maybe we could exchange numbers or something because

it felt kind of magical, you know.

She does her audition, and I could hear the door open in the hallway.

And then I hear her footsteps just like leaving.

Were they sad footsteps?

Well, I would learn later that yes they she didn't have a great audition uh uh and she says in part because she was talking to me uh

but i thought she was gonna come back but she didn't i was like it's fine you know uh that was it was nice talking to her but that maybe she has a boyfriend maybe it's the guy at the party you know i

probably together and that's fine

and then uh

A couple days later, I go into another audition and she's sitting there in the waiting room.

And I'm like, what are the chances of this?

And this one, there's other friends there too, and people that I know and other actors.

And she's there.

And I'm like,

this is a sign.

So I go up and we're talking and

again, just connecting.

It's so easy, you know,

the conversation.

And my birthday was coming up.

So

I say, hey, would would you like to come to my birthday?

I'm having a thing.

And

that year, I decided I was going to have an all day party.

Friends, come whenever you want.

I'm going to be drinking from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep.

Come whenever, you know.

And I was like, you could come any time of the day.

And she's like, oh, yeah, sure.

You know, and I'm thinking, oh, she's probably not going to come.

A few days later, it's my birthday.

I'm drinking

and some friends come over and then she shows up and she's alone.

And I'm like, oh my God,

she showed up.

And she comes over, more friends come over and she's getting along with all my friends.

And, you know, it just, she's so fun, you know.

And

I'm just like, oh my God, she's, she's amazing, you know.

I find out she didn't have a boyfriend, that that guy at the party wasn't her boyfriend.

And

I'm like, oh, gosh,

I got to ask her out on a date.

And as the night goes on, she

hangs around.

But we had one other friend there, my friend Dave was there and he would not leave.

He just wouldn't leave.

And I'm like,

I don't think he knows what's going on.

And at that point, I was getting real tired.

And I was like, guys, I got to, I got to turn in.

I've been drinking all day.

This is not good.

I need to sleep.

And

Dave says to Jay, I'll walk you to your car.

And,

but before she goes, I'm like, Jay, call me.

Call me when you get home.

So I know you got home safe.

Good.

Yeah.

That was good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I was to learn this later, but when they got to, you know, my friend Dave Dave walked her to her car.

He was like, he stops for a moment.

He was like, oh, my God, did I just cock block you?

He realized.

He said that to you clearly enough.

He said that to Jay because he walked her to her car.

Was this the first time Jay had heard cock block?

Because it's still new to me, by the way.

Oh, no, I think she got it.

She got it because it was very clear what was going on, the dynamic.

What did she say?

I, you know, I don't remember what she said.

I think she kind of laughed it off because she didn't want to assume anything.

But, uh, but then she got home, she called me right away.

I'm like, Do you, uh, do you want to go on a date with or can I, can I take you out on a date?

And she's like, Yes.

And then, uh, and then we go out on a date and we stay together ever since.

How long ago?

That was

about

15 years ago.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know where you are on the woo-woo part of life, but

I do believe that it's divine intervention.

I really do.

There's no reason in the world why my wife, Mary Steenburgen, would even have stopped and looked twice at me if I hadn't

chosen to grow up and mature the year before

such a hot mess.

Right.

You know, and there's just no, there's no rhyme or reason other than.

How did you two meet?

Well, we'd met several times while we were both married to other people.

She's married.

She was married to Malcolm McDowell, the actor, and had two kids.

And I was married and had two daughters.

And

I don't think it was Cheers Years, but it was after that.

Or maybe it was Cheers Years.

And she just said, hey, hi, I love your show at a party.

And I said, thank you, thank you.

And then another time we were,

where were we?

I think it was like a

inauguration, Bill Clinton.

Yeah.

And we were both at the same kind of event kind of thing.

Yeah.

But then it was a movie that we both got cast in.

And

I was at the height of my hot messness publicly in the news hot mess.

Oh, really?

I had a car accident, you know, that was like kind of my my wake up, one of my wake-up calls.

Yeah.

During that time, I was working like crazy on myself, going to therapy and this and that.

I wanted to stop being a liar.

I wanted to, you know, be real.

And

yeah,

but I knew we weren't going to get together because I knew that I could fuck up any relationship.

Because it was me, always the center of these relationships that didn't work.

She was saying to herself, well, like she had just broken up with somebody.

I guess I'm not, you know, relationship material, even though I look like I should be.

I'm not.

And so we both kind of gave up

at the same time that we met.

Yeah.

And

it was speedy in that, you know, within a month of starting to shoot together.

I, I will speak for myself, was madly in love.

Yeah.

And I, you know, it was like I couldn't wait to be around her.

I didn't think about marriage or relationship.

I just thought, wow, I just have to be around this person who makes me so happy.

Yeah.

At that point,

you say you were in a hot mess

or you were a hot mess.

And then you, and then you,

was it before you two kind of got together that you felt like I'm no longer a hot mess?

I feel like I.

No, I had started to work on myself.

So I had stopped being an active hot mess,

but I was really looking at it.

And

the press and the public were catching up, but the work that I was doing was way deeper than any of the

press.

And it really kind of saved my life.

I mean,

it was a big moment in my life.

It's so interesting because I was around during that time.

I was a big fan of yours.

I, uh, Cheers was

one of my all-time favorite shows.

I was,

uh, uh, I felt like I was very kind of

invested in you as a, as a famous person.

And, you know, like, that's, that's what, that's one of my guys.

And now sitting here and looking back, I don't remember any of that hot mess stuff.

I'm sure I, at the time I did.

Good.

I'm sure at at the time i did but now it's funny how just memory works and how like i well i associate ted danson with all this and that right and all of that stuff is just i and i my guess is it would be the same for most people they just it's one of those things that was probably

uh uh gave you a lot of anxiety at the time but uh but nobody remembers i wasn't even anxious about public opinion yeah because i was i i had so much genuine work to do on myself life-changing work that,

you know, and I was lucky enough, my mentor who took me through all of this,

you know, it was like,

if you stop, it's like sobriety.

If you stop lying and you start really checking yourself out,

that too becomes addictive, taking responsibility for who you are and realizing it's no one else but you.

Yeah.

And why is that, you know, all of that stuff.

Had you always been pretty

good with kind of public opinion and not really kind of

no, I want to be loved.

I calmed down as soon as you gave me a compliment.

It was like, oh, my breath is coming back in.

Mary, you know, I get up.

We went to a concert last night.

And I said, I have to get up and walk through this huge crowd to go find a men's room and everything.

But to her, it's like, no, you don't.

You just need to, you know yeah take need to take a stroll and see if anyone recognizes you so you feel better about yourself so no I'm I'm the joke

every human frailty I dabble in possible yeah okay okay

that's uh that's that makes me feel good it makes me feel better okay you're in love but who makes that final the the first real move oh let's let's get married let's let's have a life together with you and

Well, it happened super fast after, you know, after that first date,

it just, we both just felt so

sure.

It didn't, I don't even know if there was any like, this is it.

It just like naturally all felt so right and organic.

And, and, uh, uh, and it wasn't really a conversation, you know, like, are we going to get married?

Or it just kind of all felt like, like, this is happening and this is uh uh and we're both we both felt so lucky you know like we always felt so lucky you know and then i think you celebrate it we celebrate all the time how unbelievably lucky we are to have found each other yeah yeah yeah we uh it's uh uh

you know

i think

When you know, you know, it's cliche, but it's just like, yeah, you know, for us, it was truly that you know yeah yeah

and why there's no real reason why it happened yeah other than the blessing of it happening yeah yeah totally

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How old is your daughter?

She's 11.

11.

Yeah, yeah, she's 11.

I'm just so obsessed with her.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's the greatest.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

During those 11 years, did you,

were you then making a living and it wasn't such a stressful thing?

I'd say

by the time we had when we had her,

I definitely started working more.

I wouldn't say that I was, I felt in any way secure.

Right.

But, you know, I mean, do, do you ever feel secure in this career?

Yeah.

No, yeah.

So I, I, I, but, uh, but it, I, I did feel like, you know,

I'm doing

I'm doing

well enough to not feel super stressed.

Uh, um, we did live live in a tiny apartment in Mar Vista.

It was this rent-controlled apartment, the same one I lived in when I first met Jay.

And she moved in.

We found out we were going to have a baby, and we were like,

we should get like a bigger place.

And

I remember we found this house in Valley Village.

And

I remember having this conversation with Jay.

I was like, okay, okay,

we can like

afford to, you know, put in the down payment.

But after that, we've probably got a good three months.

Yeah.

And then we're probably going to lose the house.

Let's really enjoy these three months.

And then if we're lucky, we'll get six months.

And if we're real lucky, we'll get a year, maybe two years.

But

the way this business works,

let's not be heartbroken when we have to move out and downgrade.

Let's just really enjoy this, you know.

And so we both kind of got our first little home,

you know, not full, not really stressed out about it.

You know, it was kind of like, well, who knows what's going to happen?

Well, we'll, we'll live here and enjoy it.

And

then if we have to move out, we'll move out, you know, and uh, and

slowly work just started coming, you know.

See, I think to get a little woo-woo again,

that's how life works.

I really do.

Uh, I mean, and if, and if it's not how life works, it's how I choose to think.

Yeah, yeah, life works, which is find joy in this moment.

That's it.

Know what it is you want to, where you want to go, but don't use the

discrepancy between where you are now and where you want to go to invalidate yourself.

Just experience the joy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

For sure.

I do think, like, if we were in that house and worried about how are we going to, you know, how are we going to keep this house?

Then you would generate that.

You would, you would generate, you would have your life reflect back to you.

Oh, he likes to worry about not having stuff.

Let's give him that stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So he can worry.

I mean, I do think like one of the benefits of timing with Jay and I was, you know, we were fairly older

when we met.

And we

were...

How old were you?

I was

35, 36, something like that.

Married around 37.

And we were broke most of our adult lives, you know, so we knew how to live with like that, you know.

and

we knew how to

do a lot with little, you know, and

so that house when we first, I mean, it was a tiny house, but it felt like a castle for us, you know, so it was really something that we like, oh my gosh, can you believe, even to this day, like, I, I talk, talk to, I'll say all the time, I probably said it to Jay earlier today, like, can you believe this?

Like, this is crazy.

Like, we do the same thing.

I swear to God.

yeah and if you listen if you put a tape recorder in our bedroom or anywhere in the house you know you it would be like oh they're signing they're so nauseatingly sweet and joyful and you know

yeah yeah but I mean I really like you know gratitude

so key just to it that that's everything you know and um

yeah and I I think I I think us finding each other when we did

and,

you know,

being appreciative of

where we're at constantly, no matter where we're at, I really

agree with you.

I feel like,

yeah, maybe it is woo-woo, but it definitely brought us to where we are, I think.

Yeah.

Is Jay get to work or is she

having to take care of home life or gets she works yeah great yeah great yeah we make it work it the constant juggling and and

you know we have a an incredible nanny uh uh Doris who is

just she's just so a part of the family and and uh grandparents around grandparents around that's huge yeah yeah my my parents are are close I grew up in LA so they're they're close right yeah so it's uh my brother is here and right yeah he's crazy about Ruby.

So it all works out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We have granddaughters now and it's like, oh my God.

You know,

you just, you can't describe.

It always sounds like, didn't you enjoy your kids?

Because the comparison, you just start.

First off, grandkids come along when you're going, oh, I'm getting old and a little cranky.

Yeah.

Oh, shoot, you know, whatever.

I'm in decline.

Oh, a granddaughter.

I'm in.

I'm in.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

I couldn't imagine.

I couldn't imagine.

You will.

Yeah.

How wonderful.

Yeah.

I feel, I mean, I, I feel that way with Ruby.

You know, I'm like, oh, my God.

I'm, our daughter, I'm like, oh, my gosh, like,

this is wild.

You know, it's so, it's so great.

Like, what a source of

just pure joy and just like the best, you know, it's the best.

And I think it's great for careers in this way.

I think that

as soon as you have a kid, it's check your ego at the door.

Oh, yeah.

This ain't about

about you anymore.

Yeah.

And I will go out and do whatever it takes.

Yeah.

You know, and I think that's a big key with or without children, the check your ego at the door.

Yeah.

Because it is just too bumpy a ride.

It's all about ego diminishment, ironically, because actors, you know, are so full of shit and so full of themselves and all of that.

But the truth is,

you better have, you know.

I mean, I feel like life is all about ego diminishment.

Yes.

I mean, the Jimmy Woo action figure, come on, you know, it's,

but, uh, but the kids really, having a child really supercharges that ego diminishment for sure.

I think they made your jaw a little stronger than it really is.

Does the head bobble if I shake it?

No.

Maybe.

I don't know.

Maybe, maybe they didn't put as much effort into into that one.

Okay, let's go back even further.

Yeah.

First off, there's something that popped out for me.

So this is the story about me.

You can sit back and relax.

Oh, great, great.

But I noticed that one of the shows that you said that you watched, the sitcoms when you were a kid, was the Dick Van Dyke show.

Love it.

Me too.

And I grew up without a TV.

Yeah.

And the other thing I saw was he used to read TV Guide cover to cover.

Oh, yeah.

So did I.

I did not have a television growing up.

I was a freshman at Stanford when I got my first TV that I found on the street and rehabilitated and put in my room.

And the first thing that happened when I turned it on at it happened to be 11 o'clock in the morning

was a rerun of the Dick Van Dyke show.

And he has been my physical comedy,

you know, hero

my entire life.

And I, uh, yeah, I just loved that I saw that Oh, my God.

I mean, when I was a kid,

I would,

you know,

we didn't have the technology we do now,

but I did have this mini tape recorder.

like a little cassette tapes, you know, that you put in, and I would lean it up against the TV whenever the Dick Van Dyke show was on, or I Love Lucy.

And those two were my favorites.

And I would audio record the episode and

hope that my parents wouldn't walk in and ask me, you know, start talking.

Or, you know, I would just

get the audio.

And then every night, I would just, as I would lay in bed, just listen to

these shows.

How old were you when you did that?

I was, I don't know.

nine, 10.

What do you think it gave you creatively to not be watching it and having the visual and the audio, but just the audio.

I mean, I did watch it a ton whenever I could, but I think just the audio,

what thrilled me the most was, especially with those shows back then, you could really hear the audience.

Yeah.

You know, you could hear the individual laughs.

Yeah.

And sometimes there'd be like an oddball laughing, you know, a little late.

And sometimes, you know, sometimes the jokes would only get like a handful of laughs, you know, and other, you know, only a few, it only connected with a few people and they wouldn't like sweeten it, you know, it just, it would just, they'd keep it like that.

And something about that was so

thrilling to me.

And this is my two cents, but I bet it also stimulated your imagination because you were visualizing

things at the same time.

Yeah.

Which to me is another little box to check on your way to becoming a director.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

And I think

it probably shaped my my like sense of timing and my, you know, I mean, it probably did a lot of things that I don't even like know, that I'm not even aware of.

But just listening is, yeah, I do think that there's a power in that.

Did you ever, you probably didn't, but did you at that 9, 10, whatever, early teens think, oh, someday I'm going to be in the business you're in now?

Or was this just a source of enjoyment?

It wasn't, didn't mean anything.

Purely source of enjoyment.

It wasn't even an

I couldn't even fantasize about that.

It wasn't like it was so far out of any option for me.

Right.

Yeah.

So what was the first time in school or college or wherever where you went, oh, okay, I could do whatever it is, this.

I was in college at UCLA.

And I don't mean show business.

I mean, what was the first thing you might have

had a career in in your mind?

Well, oh, for me?

Yeah.

Well, when I was really young, and this connects also to filmmaking, and

I loved comic books and graphic novels, and I loved drawing them and making my own.

So I would draw pages and pages of my own like comic books and I would staple them together and I'd have like a copies and a bunch of copies of my own like little books.

And

that was something that I thought I would end up doing.

Oh, I'll be a comic book artist or a graphic novelist or something like that.

Being a director.

Yeah, it's like storyboard.

Storyboard.

How old?

I mean, I was doing that really young, you know, probably eight, nine, 10.

Into middle school, high school, even, I was doing this.

So I have.

like shelves of these comic books that I drew.

And here you you are working for DC and Marvel, and you're a director.

Life is astounding.

It's crazy.

It really is.

It's crazy.

And I collected all that stuff, you know.

It's insane.

Did you, who was in your family?

My mother was the

acknowledger in chief about anything

creative.

Yeah.

She hated guns.

She would not let me even buy toy guns.

But if I carved one out of wood, which I did a lot,

she was thrilled.

Oh, wow.

Oh, how beautiful.

What a good job.

You know, I learned how to play the cello, but could squawk out maybe two notes.

Oh, my God.

Do it again.

You know, she was anything creative.

What was in your family that kind of

encouragement about creativity?

No one.

I am a self-made creator.

I mean,

so my mom was a painter.

All right.

So I grew up with a bunch of like canvases like leaning against the wall.

And there was always like paintings like at various stages of, you know, so she, so I grew up with that.

And it was serious for her.

That was, that's serious.

It was a, it was a, it was serious enough that she was doing it a lot, but she was also working a full-time job.

And, you know,

she worked at UCLA.

Yeah.

She worked at UCLA for the student store.

She was doing accounting for the student store.

And

my dad was not creative.

He was just worked and worked very hard.

But

his sister in Korea was a filmmaker.

Yeah.

And he had a brother who was a painter.

So there was like these little, like, kind of

in my lineage, like, there was definitely art, you know.

But as far as in the house, my parents, I mean, they encouraged,

you know, writing.

and you know they whenever I would like write or even draw something they'd be like that's great but it was never like gonna be yeah a future you know it was always like that it was the whole doctor lawyer you know the immigrant parent thing like you know

which is very real oh very I mean and and and not

Not wrong no from their point of view especially at the time you know when I was a kid I was like gosh what you know

I don't want to do any of that stuff you know

but but to them, it was, this is what we wish we had been able to do.

That's right.

Yeah, yeah.

And they sacrificed a lot to, to make the journey to the, you know, and how old were they when they did that, when they immigrated?

Well,

it was 1970.

I mean, my, my mom was in her

very early 20s and my dad was later 20s.

But my dad had moved to San Francisco

before my mom, even meeting my mom.

So

they both had to have been in their earlier 20s when they first started.

Still resilient enough, I guess, to embrace the odds

against you kind of thing.

Because I sometimes think about people in their,

you know, when they start to get brittle like me,

having to do that, having to leave a country and go to another country to make a home is, it is like way

incredibly, i couldn't do it i couldn't do it i mean i i was born in la

raised in la

live in la went to ucla uh in la

in la i i could never do what they did yeah and i i marvel at it i i marvel at it did you was it a marvel to you probably not as a kid

Or was it?

No.

Were you, no?

No, it was aware of their parents.

Yeah.

I mean, if anything, it was like, why can't you be more like my friend's parents, you know, like who were so fun and,

you know, let their kids do this and that.

And, you know,

yeah, back then, especially growing up, it was like,

it wasn't cool to

come from a family like ours, you know,

like ours meaning what?

Like an Asian family,

you know, in the in the 80s, early 80s.

And,

um,

but, uh, but, you know, as you get older, or as I got older, it's like, oh my God, it's super cool.

You know, that's like the coolest thing and the bravest thing to, like you say, to make this trek to this new world, you know,

for opportunity.

And,

and, yeah, I, I, I, I'm like, wow, that's, that's amazing because I could never do it.

Why, why, not why, this sounds okay.

Now I'm walking on my oh-so-white, privileged life, ice.

But why I glimpsed, to be honest, at the New Yorker article.

And

so why Asian American studies at UCLA?

Yeah, why?

I think because I grew up in

a very

very

diverse community,

but not with a strong sense of kind of my Asian American identity or my Korean origins.

I kind of grew up in a lot of ways

not denying it, but definitely not celebrating it, you know.

And when I got to college at UCLA, I just found myself kind of immersed in this community,

this Asian American community.

And it just felt so new and exciting.

More so than growing up in a neighborhood and your parents' friends.

Yeah, I mean, my friends growing up as a kid were just every race.

We were, you know,

we were,

I mean, it was very idyllic in a lot of ways.

This LA kind of city, just

very multicultural upbringing, you know.

But going to college, it was kind of like there

were these pockets of kind of Asian American and an Asian American community that I found myself in and it felt very exciting, you know, and

it felt like,

oh, I want to learn more about this, you know, this, this kind of history.

And so that led me to the

major.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And do you think it obviously must have had a huge impact on what you choose to do now in while you're in the position of having choice as a director or as an actor.

Yeah.

And how so?

I mean, yeah, to what

I think it,

I think for me, it just made me more conscious of the stories that haven't been told,

you know, the stories that

are new and interesting that

I can relate to.

I mean, not that I can't relate to, I mean, I could relate to cheers just as much as anything, but

it's just new perspectives, you know, that to me are the most, they're interesting, you know, not just for me, but for everybody.

So, so to be able to contribute those perspectives

in any way is, is exciting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I often thought that we got really messed over in LA by General Motors who got rid of our street cars that went everywhere.

Yeah.

And then somebody made a decision, no, cars are

the future.

So we're going to get rid of all the trolley because everything was connected.

Right.

You could go to any ethnic grouping in the LA area anytime you wanted, and you were, could immerse yourself in cultures that are here.

Yeah.

And then that got taken away.

And then we became these pockets of others and not like me's.

And

what a a shame.

Do you feel like we're getting back to that with

the subway system?

I don't know.

I don't know either.

I don't know.

You know, I like to think, oh, maybe all this racial, and if you're not like me, you know,

I'm going to be angry and want to harm you or what.

This whole thing, I'm dancing around how bigoted we seem to have become.

But

my brain is always, you know, I'm always trying to find the positive is, is this kind of the extinction or last

gas?

Yeah.

You know, because

sure, you know, we'll elect a black president, but I'll be goddamned if I'll, you know, let them tell me what to do.

You know, it's like in the whip anyway.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know either, but I do feel that,

you know,

on the ground is a lot different than online, you know, and I feel feel like on the ground, it's very,

it's great.

Yeah.

For the most part.

Yeah.

For the most part,

at least in L.A., because that's the city I know.

No, I know.

We are blessed to live in California, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I also think that,

you know, go to the whatever, the part of the world that is the least like you.

Yeah.

And if you go in and say, this is what I believe, you'll have a fight on your hands.

Yeah.

If you say, hey, I'm hurting, and

they will come in their motorboat and pick you up in the flooded area and not ask any questions about you.

They will be the most human, caring, nurturing people until you say, this is what I believe.

You know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's right.

That's right.

I hope.

Yeah.

I think so.

Yeah.

I think so.

There is something good that's happening, though, because

I swore I wasn't going to start talking about being white and

stupid.

But I grew up, I grew up in Arizona.

My father was the director of a museum.

Sit back, this will be a moment.

Oh, yeah, yeah, no.

And

anthropologist.

So, you know, there's a real sense of there's a lot that's come before you, and this is not about you.

And hopefully, it will be a lot that comes after you.

And there was a common humanity.

And my best friends, because the museum was there to nurture, partly there to nurture the Hopi, Navajo, Pueblo tribes

and their arts and their culture.

So my best friends growing up were Hopi.

And I would go to their villages on these three mesas in Arizona and watch, because they hadn't gone to war with the United States, they were not moved.

So their villages had been there 500, 600 years, and their spiritual, religious kachina dances in the plazas, the dirt plazas, had been going on in that plaza for centuries.

Yeah.

And I, with my friend Raymond, Hopie, would play and intermingle and, you know, and then go on Sunday, I would go to the church in Flagstaff, the Episcopal Church.

And it was both, I grew up knowing, not intellectually, but just feeling, oh, it's the same thing.

I, yeah, there's no difference between going to the Episcopal Church and going to the kachina dances in the village.

Yeah.

And

why did I go there?

Oh, okay.

So then in my mind, not examining this

any more than this is my friend, my best friend Raymond and his family, and this is what they do and this is what we do and da-da-da.

Oh, how, how, how wonderful.

I celebrated the Hopi in this kind of glorious, you know, aren't they wonderful?

And they never went to war.

So they have all.

No, no, you know, they were,

I don't know, in the early 1900s or even after that.

Yeah, after that, probably the 50s or something,

they, meaning us white folks, came in and said, your children cannot be educated here.

And they forcefully

took them someplace else to educate them.

And if they spoke hopi, they'd get whooped.

And, you know, it's like, oh,

this is the part about

being white

that you don't really have any idea.

It's not true about everything, everybody.

Right.

But I, you know, I am constantly confronting in myself, oh, your good intentions and your good heart aren't enough.

Right.

Truly.

Right, right.

You need to absorb the whole fabric here.

You know?

Yeah.

And then don't go.

These are all the things I wasn't going to say.

Then, you know, then don't go.

to your friends who you love and work with who are black and during black Lives Matter, go, I'm so sorry, you know, so that they would fix it and make it better for you.

That's right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know,

it's wackadoo.

Yeah, I mean,

so, but I mean, so random, but it's not.

I'm so sorry.

It's still it,

that's not to devalue good intentions and, and

kindness and, and those, those, you know, kind of simple things that are, you know, on a daily interpersonal level.

That you're talking about.

Yeah.

Maybe not internet.

Yeah, yeah.

Or news or whatever.

Oh, my gosh.

That's a whole, that's a whole other, whole nother thing.

It is.

Are you on social media?

No.

Yeah.

Me neither.

I don't know.

It's partly because I don't think I could take the

hate part.

Yeah.

Coming my way.

Partly because I think it would absorb too much of my

day.

Yeah.

And I didn't grow up with it, so I'm not good at it.

Yeah, yeah.

Same.

Yeah.

All the same.

Yeah.

I was on it for a bit.

And then during the pandemic, it

kind of all of that, all of what you just said became crystal clear to me.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I find that just looking, the simple act of looking in the mirror for two or three hours a day suffices for, you know, self-absorption.

That's all I need.

Sure, you just stare in the mirror.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you don't age as much, I've discovered.

Oh, boy.

No, I think that's,

yeah.

I mean, I don't tell anyone how to live their lives, but

I do whenever I get, whenever people ask, at least, I make it very clear how,

especially having been on social media and then being off of it, just how freeing it is is to not be on it.

Yeah.

It's human nature.

It's not the bad guys, but it is human nature

that we are drawn to conflict, whether it's because we were sitting around a fire and you had to be on your toes or you'd get eaten, you know, or you realize Shakespeare realized, you know, conflict sells.

You know, it's how you make drama and it's how you sell news

as well.

Even your guys' side of the cable news networks depend on scaring you.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, and

it's better not to be living in fear all the time.

No, and then that conflict plus, plus anonymity.

Yeah.

You know, mixing that in there.

It's like,

yeah, it's just not a place for me.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Randall, if you had a magic wand five, ten years from now, What are you doing?

A magic wand?

That will create anything without any obstacles.

what would you want to be doing in life are you going to be directing full-time are you

or do you or do you just your brain not think that way you probably

yeah i don't think i don't i i'd want to uh kind of i'd want to stay on this path and and

and

be

wherever i'm supposed to be in five years

And

as long as it's not like really bad.

As long as it's not like really bad,

that's where I want to be.

I mean, but I guess in an ideal world, kind of a little bit of everything, you know,

really just to do things that are fun, you know.

My mother used to wish us children of hers, I wish for you that

you will be fully human,

which I kind of love.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

And I think the amazing thing about a relationship where you are in love and you're aware of how blessed it is is I feel like,

oh, I understand what it is to have been loved and to be able to love in that circular thing that happens

with love in a relationship.

And I feel like, oh,

that to me is the most human

blessing.

in the world.

And I got to experience that.

Yeah, that's amazing.

Everything else feels a little bit.

Yeah.

It goes back to that.

Can you believe this?

Like, this is all, this is so cool.

You know,

that's great.

Can I ask you, are you working on writing anything for yourself to direct?

Writing stuff.

Sold a few projects that were, that I'm writing with, with a partner.

possibly to direct, but it's kind of like, well, let's just see if we get there.

You know, it's just, let's focus on

the writing right now.

But definitely, like in the back of my head, I'm like, oh, I could possibly direct this.

I think I'm

from what I learned from the last one, I think

I could definitely,

I feel ready for the next one.

And

yeah, so

I'm, it's possible.

It's possible.

But I'm open to like projects come to me.

And if it, if it's the right fit, I'll definitely

be open to considering it.

I watched a couple of, as one is wont to do when you do a podcast, a couple of interviews.

And one of the questions I had was,

how come he's so grounded?

And I feel like

I don't know if I could write an essay on why you're so grounded, but I feel like I've experienced it right now.

I mean, I'm one of those people who tilt way too far forward in life.

I'm like Tigger.

Oh, hey,

you know, and you're not.

You are, you seem really thoughtful and grounded.

I don't know if it's an act or a defense mechanism, but you really.

You know, I think it goes back to

that question about podcasts.

Like,

do you like doing them?

And, and, and my, you know, I said no.

And I think it's because I, I always come away from them, like thinking, oh man, I wish I would have been more entertaining.

You know, I'm,

it's hard for me to, but it's just hard for me to not like be myself.

Wow.

I was about to breeze over that statement.

That's huge.

I, I,

but I, you know, and I think a part of me is like, I don't, I don't like that about myself.

I wish I because I could definitely like, I know, you know, I can perform and and and I love like performing and and uh and I love being funny and but I in these kinds of settings I just feel like I don't know I just want to kind of

but to me oh my god to me that is what

I guess why I really like sitting here talking to you because we're not at a cocktail party where or an interview on a TV show where you have to score in you know 30 seconds and then move on and feel good about yourself fills me with anxiety yeah yeah yeah mary mary and i think i've caught it from her, my wife, Mary,

clutches my hand.

I mean, if she grabs my left hand where the wedding ring is, it's painful when we walk into a party and she says, do not leave me.

Do not leave me.

Same with Jay.

I'm married with Jay.

Small talk.

terrifies her.

Yeah.

Sit down and have a real conversation.

Yeah.

She loves it.

Oh, me too.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jay

is the public face of our family.

Like, she is like so good that she's so charming and fun and funny and

loves being around people, you know, and I love being around people, but not interacting with them.

Maybe directing them.

Move over there.

Yeah, like that.

Like we sometimes will throw a get-together at our house and

my favorite, you know, I love, you know, having all our friends there and it's so fun.

And, but my favorite thing is, okay, Ruby has to go to bed.

I'm going to put her to bed and I'll be upstairs with Ruby and I could hear all the people having fun and I'm with my daughter and she's falling asleep and just sitting there with my kids sleeping and hearing people have, that's like the best part of the party for me.

Yeah.

I kind of identify with that.

I really do.

Yeah.

Oh,

we threw a wonderful party.

Yeah.

And I'm not

in the middle of it sweating bullets.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But I don't know how much of it for me is like on a kind of a self-hate thing.

Like, oh, this party's even better because I'm not there.

Yeah.

You know, I'm up here.

They don't have to deal with me.

They're having a great time.

Dose of self-hate is not bad.

Oh, I call it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A little dose, I think, is good.

Yeah.

I can't thank you enough.

Ted, that's

a good one.

Thank you.

This is one where I'm like, oh, I'm so glad I did that.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And

I love that compliment within the first 20 seconds that put me at ease.

Seriously.

It was all from the heart.

That was me talking with Randall Park.

His directorial debut is called Shortcomings, based on the graphic novel by Adrian Tomine.

It's streaming on Netflix, and I encourage you to check it out.

Once again, tell a friend about us and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

If you're on Apple Podcasts, perhaps you'd like to give us a great rating and review.

Who knows?

We appreciate it.

If you like watching your podcast, full episodes are on Team Coco's YouTube channel.

I'll see you next time.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name.

You've been listening to Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes.

The show is produced by me, Nick Leow.

Executive producers are Adam Sachs, Colin Anderson, Jeff Ross, and myself.

Sarah Fedorovich is our supervising producer.

Our senior producer is Matt Apodaka.

Engineering and Mixing by Joanna Samuel with support from Eduardo Perez.

Research by Alyssa Grawl.

Talent Booking by Paula Davis and Gina Batista.

Our theme music is by Woody Harrelson, Anthony Gen, Mary Steenbergen, and John Osborne.

Special thanks to Willie Navarre.

We'll have more for you next time where everybody knows your name.

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