Season 4 Episode 8: Once Upon a Long Time Ago

loves a challenge.

It's why she lifts heavy weights

and likes complicated recipes.

But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way with Expedia.

She bundled her flight with a hotel to save more.

Of course, she still climbed all 674 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

You were made to take the easy route.

We were made to easily package your trip.

Expedia, made to travel.

Flight-inclusive packages are at all protected.

Coach, the energy out there felt different.

What changed for the team today?

It was the new game day scratchers from the California Lottery.

Play is everything.

Those games sent the team's energy through the roof.

Are you saying it was the off-field play that made the difference on the field?

Hey, a little play makes your day, and today it made the game.

That's all for now.

Coach, one more question.

Play the new Los Angeles Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, and Los Angeles Rams Scratchers from the California Lottery.

A little play can make your day.

Please play responsibly.

Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim.

Eric Chapman runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale.

It's always been the second one.

It's doing rather well.

Yet, Eric has lost the spring in his step.

He can't put the finger on why.

And things are about to get even worse.

His past has come back to haunt him.

Wooden Overcoats by David K.

Barnes.

Season 4, Episode 8.

Once upon a long time ago.

Eric was having a difficult week in a difficult month.

of what seemed like a difficult year.

He was still putting the fun in funerals as best he could.

A pinata here, a flash mob there.

But he felt like a magician who'd run out of tricks.

Oh, uh, yes, sorry.

So when he competed in the mayor's illicit all-night blackjack tournament, his heart wasn't really in it.

Okay, guys, bets are in.

Nigel, what'll it be?

You know, Georgie,

I'm feeling lucky.

Hit me.

Six.

Damn.

Boss did.

Eric?

Uh, stand.

Milad?

Hit me.

I'd like a card.

Eight.

I'll

stand.

That's right, Teddy.

Finish him off.

And last but not least, Rudyard.

Hmm.

Hit me.

Ten.

Hit me.

Ten.

Hit me.

Another ten.

Hit me?

Rudyard.

And yes, that's it.

Blackjack.

Oh, well played.

No, no, you've gone bust at least twice.

Have I?

I've got three tens, three of clubs,

and Mrs.

Bunn the Baker's wife.

Oh!

Not again.

That's the wrong game.

Oh, leave it out, Eric.

He's pulled an absolute blinder.

That's game set and matched.

Pay up, lads.

Here you are, Rudyard.

50p.

Don't spend it off at once.

Preferent.

Uh I'll have to urge you.

I see.

Chapman?

Oh,

fine.

Here.

And I hope you choke on it.

Oh, no need to be a sore loser, Eric.

Yeah, come on, Eric.

Don't be a knob.

Yes, don't be a knob.

It's not like you at all.

I'm...

I'm sorry.

I guess I'm not feeling myself today.

Would you like to talk about it?

Yes, what is your weakness?

There's nothing wrong as such.

I I thought closing down my sidelines would help me to focus on funerals, but

maybe I'm running on empty.

There's no shame in giving up.

Yes, there is.

Who said anything about giving up?

You're just going through a rough patch, Eric Lad.

You deserve a holiday.

I'm sure Lady Temper would like a trip.

I'm afraid we called it quits a few weeks ago after she yelled at me and became a pirate.

That's why you're feeling down.

Broke up some rubbish.

No, it's

more than than that, somehow.

Well, this has been nice, but I should

get.

Why don't we all play another round?

Eric?

Give you a chance to win your money back.

Please, no.

Thanks, Dez, but I might call it a night.

Enjoy yourselves, everyone.

Poor chair.

I wonder what the real problem is.

Well, nobody's perfect.

Oh, who's that the time?

Sit down, you.

We're just getting started.

Double or nothing fine.

See if I've got that kind of money on me.

Wouldn't hold your breath.

I say, you dropped from it.

That could have been private.

I know, that's why I read it.

Why did who resign?

Was it me?

I think it's a few years old.

I found it in the files.

The files?

You mean the council files?

Let me see that.

Oh my god.

Dise?

Mr.

Mayor, what's up?

The handwriting.

It's hers.

You don't mean

my previous secretary.

It's Marjorie.

Marjorie wrote that note.

Before she went mad and started killing people.

Radyad, we locked her up for a reason.

You must burn this note and forget you ever saw it.

This sounds like a shady shady cover-up.

It is, and I don't even know what for.

Nothing good can come of this, Radyad.

Please, you must promise me that this won't go any further.

Don't fret, your worship.

I give you my word.

You can rely on me.

The next morning, Radyard went to see Marjorie.

And he didn't tell anyone where he was going.

Radyad?

Radjard?

Where can he be?

Okay, I've put Mr.

Horton's guts back in his body, but we're still missing his lungs.

Try the cabinet odds and ends.

I always keep a few spares.

Have you seen Roger this morning?

Yeah, he was heading out when I got here.

Said he had unfinished business.

Oh, not again.

He's probably trying to get his own back at someone.

Like the time he was tipped down the well.

Do they know who did it yet?

They've narrowed it down.

There were 30 nuns at the scene of the crime, and not one of them had an alibi.

If he's in trouble, I'll rescue him later.

I'm off to the mayor's office.

See ya.

Oh, excuse me, no problem.

Hello?

Anyone at home?

Yes.

Boom!

God.

I'm sorry.

Didn't see you there.

I know.

Where did you learn to do that?

It's incredible.

Learn what?

The stealth technique.

Blending in.

Oh, but I just sort of stand here and blend.

Watch.

Amazing.

Where are you?

Hello.

I could do this all day, but we're both busy people.

Sure.

Yeah.

I came here on business.

Would you like to book a funeral?

Don't listen to the rumours.

We're very good at them.

Uh, not today, thank you.

My name's Zoe.

Zoe Adayinka.

I'm making some inquiries.

What about?

An old acquaintance who disappeared some time ago.

I've reason to believe he could be on your island.

I'd been arguing with Ruddyard all the way to the Chapman Community Hospital.

Marjorie was still kept there in the maximum security wing after that killing spree she'd enjoyed a few years ago.

Ruddyard was playing with fire, and I was both deeply concerned and very excited.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh!

Oh, it's you, Rudyard.

Audrey.

Sorry.

I thought you were the doctor.

I try to keep him on his toes.

Some days I even make him faint.

I get my kicks, he gets a nap.

It's symbiotic, really.

Yep.

So,

what do you want?

I haven't seen you here before.

Um, I won't beat around the bush, Marjorie.

I want your help.

Help?

Me?

You?

Help!

Help!

Rubbish.

Give me one good reason why I should.

Simply put,

I got your note.

My note?

What what note?

Give me that!

Oh.

Oh, I see.

Oh, that takes me back.

Oh, I barely killed anybody when I wrote this.

God, life comes at you so fast.

Could we talk about it?

Alright.

You'd better come in.

Wipe your feet.

What?

I like a clean cell.

The door isn't locked.

Oh, that!

I stole the key ages ago.

I mean, I've been living here for years.

I deserve my own key.

Are you going to come?

It's perfectly safe.

As Rudyard weighed up his chance of survival, Antigone was having a most curious conversation with Piffling's new visitor.

Could you take a quick look at a picture for me?

How quick are we talking?

Is this a test?

No.

I meant

take as much time as you need.

But could you identify this man?

What man?

Girl.

Oh, sorry.

I should have warned you.

The picture's in this naked calendar I recently picked up.

Well, I don't tend to buy that kind of thing.

I mean, you're in it, aren't you?

For December.

Yes, yes, all right.

Give it here, then.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, that's Eric Chapman.

Turn it away now.

Do you know him well?

What do you mean?

Um,

how well do you know him?

Oh, reasonably, I'd say.

He's ruined our lives for several years, and we send each other Christmas cards.

So he does live here just across the square.

And he's a man.

Sure, I actually meant his job.

He's a funeral director.

Oh, what?

Really?

Yes.

I see.

So he has his own business.

Anything else?

Yes, a Messiah complex as big as the island.

You can't miss it.

Now, what's all this about him disappearing?

Never mind.

Forget I said anything.

You've been most helpful.

Thank you.

Wait, who are you?

You said you know Eric Chapman.

I thought I did.

He's seeing you.

If I ever need a funeral, I'll give you a call.

Oh.

Good.

Excellent work, Antigone.

That's called a soft cell.

Reel them in gently and then bam!

They've booked a funeral.

Antigone.

Oh, hello, Chapman.

Somebody was asking after you.

I know, I saw her leaving.

Antigone, this is important.

You have to tell me everything she said, okay?

Everything from beginning to end.

Please.

At this moment, you're the only one I can trust.

Gosh!

And while all that was going on, I was trembling inside Rudyard's top pocket as he entered Marjorie's cell.

Put your feet up, make yourself at home, biscuit.

Bit early for me, thanks.

Suit yourself.

Don't just stand there frozen like that.

How many more times?

I'm not going to hurt you.

Or you?

I'm far too busy to think about murder.

Busy?

Hey, Marjorie, I've got the gas board on the phone.

I call them back in five.

Thanks, Emma.

Oh, could you do us a couple of coffee?

Yeah, sure thing.

Who is that?

Emma.

New girl.

Between you and me, she's not working out, but Daddy's in the cabinet, so what can we do?

Do you have staff?

Of course, I have staff.

Who do you think runs this island?

The council?

Cool.

The council?

Or maybe Georgie?

That's okay.

Oh, please.

She's cute, but she hasn't got what it takes.

She handed me the administration of the island years ago.

I've been running it ever since.

Sorry, it was two coffees, wasn't it?

Coming up.

Jesus Christ, Am I.

Sorry, you've been running things all this time.

I always did, if you remember.

But now I'm not alone.

I've got 50 members of staff through there.

50?

We are the number one employer for graduates on the island.

I started with the local village hoodlums.

They represent our interests abroad now.

I wondered where they'd got to.

I sent them to the Faroe Islands.

Very active art scene.

We're doing a choir festival next autumn.

Come along!

Uh, I'll think about it.

That means nerds.

Look, I don't want to take up too much of your time, so.

Ah, yes, my note.

Why did he resign?

I began to investigate his affairs out of idle curiosity, but it became an obsession.

Nothing about him made sense.

But who was it?

Who resigned?

I'm sure you'd love me to say Eric Chapman, wouldn't you?

Mysterious past, skeletons in the closet, maybe something to use against him.

I did wonder.

Dream, if I...

I bet you did.

Well, Radiard, it's not a dream.

It was Eric Chapman.

And if you want to know why he resigned and from what,

we're going to have to work together.

Antigone, think hard.

Are you sure Zoe didn't say anything else?

No, she just waved a naked calendar in my face and asked me where you lived.

What does she want?

Why now?

Chapman, she said you disappeared.

Is it true?

Yes and no.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means what it means.

It means nothing at all.

Antigone, please.

All these questions.

Is it true?

What do you mean?

Why did you resign?

I can't answer them now.

I didn't ask why you resigned.

Did you?

No.

Why did you resign?

You don't even know what I resigned from.

That was the second question.

Now is not the time.

I promise, one day I'll tell you all about it, but please, please, don't ask me any more questions until this whole thing's behind us, okay?

Until what thing's behind us?

Antigone!

Don't get angry angry at me.

You're the one who stormed in here making demands.

And if you want me to help you, you'll tell me what's going on.

Trust me, Antigone.

Please.

If that woman ever speaks to you, I want to know what she says and how it's said.

I need facts, I need figures, I need where, when, and why.

What are you scared of?

I am not scared.

Ah, Harry!

You'll never take me alive!

Is he gone?

Oh, for God's sake.

No offense, Reverend.

None taken.

I'm not God.

Though sometimes I do wish.

Chapman, it's only the Reverend.

I know.

I'm embarrassed.

He was in a funny mood last night.

Wouldn't tell us why.

What's the matter with him?

There was someone in here asking questions.

It's utterly terrified him.

Ah, well.

Questions keep me awake, too.

What's it all for?

Why do bad things happen?

Should I pay Rudyard that money I owe him or just ghost him for the rest of my life?

Because I could.

Hey there, Nigel.

Sorry about that.

That's all right, no harm done.

He broke our window.

I'll get it fixed this afternoon.

I suppose my nerves are a little afraid, after all.

You're working too hard.

One must always ask oneself, could I get away with a slap-dash effort?

Most of the time, the answer's yes.

Chapman, what's all this about?

Not yet.

Then when?

I don't want to be a nag, Eric, but shouldn't we be off to the funeral?

They'll be gathering at the falls.

Divling Falls?

Yes.

The highest waterfall in the Channel Isles.

We had it confirmed a few weeks ago.

Desmond is terribly pleased.

We'll get this funeral over and done with, and then I'll be back with a new window.

And an explanation, I hope.

See you later, Antigone.

Enjoy yourself!

Sorry, uh, yes.

Enjoy.

What does it matter?

Very much as it happens, Chapman.

Hello?

No, functional is closed this afternoon, because I want some answers and I intend to get them.

Yes, I know that women in the deal, but it sounded pretty awesome from here.

Right!

Meanwhile, Georgie returned from her lunch to the mayor's office, where she found her other employer was going through the files like a man possessed.

any luck madlin

we're so close stop worrying and keep searching

what

the hell are you doing hello georgie where belong this place looks like a buddy bombs it the mayor will go spare you're gonna cost me my job rudyard you can't destroy chapman without breaking eggs The end is in sight.

His secrets will be mine.

Oh my god.

What are you talking about?

That note, You remember?

It's Chapman!

He's the one who resigned!

And somewhere in here is the information I need

to discover what he resigned from.

Why does it matter?

What difference would it make?

I won't know that till I find it.

Move aside!

No, Rodjard, you're stopping this right now.

But we're so close to finding out who he really is.

I don't care who he is.

We know who he is.

He's an undertaker with an ego problem.

That's all there is to it.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

There is far more to it than that.

Marjorie?

Today's just a flipping nightmare.

Hello, Miss Crusoe.

How's my old job treating you?

Keep back!

This is a chair, and I know how to use it.

I mean, as a weapon.

I'm gonna hit you with this chair!

George, calm down.

She's on our side.

Correct.

I'm assisting Ruddyard with his little mystery.

In return for my freedom.

Sir, are you joking?

You went to Marjorie for help.

And she wanted to escape.

Who was I to say no?

That's a maximum security wing.

You have to get past six, no escaping signs.

Three of them underlined.

They didn't scare us.

We just closed our eyes and walked on by.

Then I filled in a few forms and woke up the doctor to get his signature.

The flip is wrong with you.

Jiminy snicket.

If the mayor finds out about this, he'll have an absolute fit.

Miss Crusoe, can I come in?

No.

Why not?

Because.

It's your day off.

Oh,

wonderful.

I'm going to climb a tree.

He'll get bored in half an hour and he might come back.

So leave now.

The period.

Not before we found what we're looking for.

Rajard, if you weren't my friend, I'd be calling the cop.

Agatha would have you banged up in prison before you could say Sherburst.

Really?

Must we be so dramatic about this?

The last time I saw you, you tried to bite my fingers off.

We all pick up bad habits from time to time.

But I have better things to do these days.

Like locating a certain file that slipped through the cracks.

My research into the past of Eric Chapman.

Is that the file?

It is.

All the evidence you will ever need.

Give it, give it, give it.

Are you sure you're ready?

It may disappoint you.

I don't see any way in which it could.

I mean, the speculation is all part of the fun.

Not for me, it isn't.

And to tell you the truth, I never did find out why he resigned.

Though I did find out what he resigned from.

Marjorie, stop it.

You're winding him up, and I don't like it.

But George is.

Rudyard, you're prying into somebody's private life, and it's got nothing to do with us.

We both want to beat Eric Chapman, but we've better ways to do it than this.

Yes.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Ruddyard.

But didn't Eric stop doing funerals for a whole month?

And did you make any significant gains?

Will you ever, do you think?

But if you don't want the file, of course, that's fine.

It's none of my business.

It's entirely up to you.

So?

Georgie.

Georgie, that man has been the ruin of us ever since he arrived.

If that file contains even a speck of information that we can use against him, then I fully intend to use it.

Marjorie!

As you wish.

Okay.

And then, a few minutes later.

Yes!

I know who you are!

Roger, there you are.

I've been looking everywhere for you.

Why are you shaken?

What do you mean?

After all these years, we finally got it!

Stop jumping around!

Listen, I've had some very interesting conversations this morning.

So have I, Antigone.

Gotta find Chapman.

He's at the Piffling Falls, but what's happening?

Tell you later.

Chapman!

Wait, Budget!

Roger!

Oh, what's going on?

Excuse me.

Uh, Helen.

Sorry, you look different in the sunlight.

Tell me, is that the way to the Biffling Falls?

Yes, through there and up the mountain.

You can't miss it.

But could you tell me what's going on?

Afraid not, no.

He's seeing you.

Wait, come back.

Oh, I will not be treated like this.

I'm taking it.

You'll never believe what's happening.

Not now, Joji.

I've got to follow Verjad and find out what's going on.

But I can tell you that.

There's no time.

But.

Fine.

Is he dead?

Yeah.

Pretty stressful.

Have you tried

killing people?

No.

Bloody hell, one track mind you have.

Get back indoors before someone sees you.

Sorry, yes, you're right.

I wouldn't want to cause a scene.

Oh, God!

It's Marjorie!

Yes, it is I, Marjorie!

And I'm going to do your tax return!

No!

You wouldn't!

God.

At the top of the Virtiginous Piffling Falls, a funeral was about to commence.

It was in honor of the late Billy Whirligig, who had died in a freak river accident.

She failed to spot the grizzly bear in her kayak until it was far too late.

But though this should have been an easy funeral, Eric was in a state of supreme agitation.

I could be anywhere watching,

waiting, waiting,

watching.

How How long do I have?

How long?

How long?

Oh, Nigel, don't creep up on me like that.

It's harder in the dark.

I know, I know.

I'll warm the crowd up for you.

Only if you're up to it.

We could do the treasure hunt first.

No, no, no, honestly, there's nothing wrong with me.

I'm glad to hear it, Eddie.

Zoe.

So, you found me at last.

Is this really what you've been up to all these years?

Throwing parties.

The word is funerals, young lady.

And who might you be?

Zoe Adainka.

You might say Eric and I are

old friends.

Oh, that's all right then.

Sorry, it all seemed ominous for some reason.

So, what was he like?

Tell me everything.

Zoe.

You know me.

Discretion is my middle name.

No.

Well, in that case, I may as well start the eulogy.

Excuse me.

Zoe, what are you doing here?

Poking around.

Keeping secrets.

Same old story.

Whatever you're after, you can leave me out of it.

I don't want to rake up the past.

Yes, why bother when you can carry it with you?

But for the moment, I've only got one thing to say, Eric.

Which is?

There's a man in that tree watching us.

Oh, that'll be Rudyard.

Rudyard!

Chapman!

At gate, crasher!

Quick!

Throw my sattle around the coffin!

It's only Rudyard.

Rudyard, I'm not in the mood for your nonsense, so from me to you, enjoy yourself.

Not this time, Chapman.

I've found you out.

This man is not what he appears.

So what have you done?

Nothing.

I haven't said a word.

Radyard!

You'd better have a decent explanation.

You're interrupting an especially promising funeral.

I think what I can reveal is worth the delay.

Rudyard, Rudyard, whatever you're about to say.

Rustart!

This man isn't even a real funeral director.

You're not!

If he's not a real funeral director, then how do you explain this buffet?

Oh, he may have picked up a few cheap tricks along the way, even played the past now and then.

But he was not a funeral director before he came to Piffling Vale.

Rudyard, that's enough.

You'd better have proof to back up those words, Boyo.

I have seen the files.

I have spoken to Marjorie.

She who knows all.

Rudyard, whatever it is you're doing, stop it now.

Our business can't survive survive you making a public exhibition of yourself every week.

It's too late for that, Antigone.

The truth must be told.

Eric Chapman is a myth!

An elaborate fiction!

Brudyard, please.

He's a fake!

If he's not who he says he is,

then who is he?

Brudyard, I'll tell you.

The man who we all thought was a funeral director is,

in point of fact,

and has always been,

in reality

a secret

agent

agent

You mean like James Bond?

I've never read those books, but yes, probably he's a professional spy

He's been lying to you all Chapman, is this true?

No,

I'm a retired secret agent.

It was my job.

It was my life.

I worked for the British Secret Service.

So that's why you've been all over the world.

All those exciting adventures.

You even met the Buge's.

Yes, I wasn't always proud of my work.

And ultimately, I didn't believe in it.

I'm a citizen of the world, not of one country, so I resigned.

I had to get away from it.

But why become a a funeral director?

Because of personal reasons.

I'd like to keep them confidential if I may, unless Rudyard wants to expose more of my private affairs.

No, that's all I've got.

So everyone, what do we all think of this deception?

Of these lies?

His entire life here with us has been nothing more than a shady cover-up.

Can we entrust our funerals to a man who even now could be sending information straight to the Kremlin?

I mean, that's the wrong word.

What, my fellow villagers of Hipplingvale, are we going to do about it?

I mean, nothing, surely.

What?

Doesn't make a difference to us, does it?

Eric's been a pillar of the community for years.

And we're lucky to have him.

And I hope we always will be.

Wait.

Why'd you all look happy?

And everybody loves spies.

They're so moody and suave.

Gosh.

A real-life ex-spy living on piffling?

Desmond will be absolutely thrilled.

No, no, you should be outraged.

Furious!

Why?

Nothing's changed.

Things can carry on the same way as before.

The same way as before.

So long as you're happy to stick with with us, Eric, this must have been a huge ordeal for you.

It's not been easy, but thank you, Nigel.

Really?

Three cheers for our friend, Eric Chapman.

Hip hip.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

This will not do.

But yet, perhaps we should go home.

The same old story.

Eric Chapman does no wrong.

Eric Chapman always wins!

Change the bloody record!

Rudyard!

Even when you fail, you end up on top!

Everyone's sympathy!

Everyone's praise!

What power!

What privilege!

This is embarrassing!

Surely you've said enough for one day.

Why did you come here?

Why here?

Of all places?

Why'd you have to ruin my

life?

It was a coincidence.

Get a hold of yourself!

I had a living and you took it away.

I had status and you took that away too.

I used to put the body in the coffin and ground on time.

And look at me now.

You ought to watch your steps.

But you'll be careful the falls.

I even forced myself to accept it just to make life easier.

We all shared a holiday together.

I wrote your best man's speech.

We even appeared in the same calendar.

Rodiad, you're too close to the edge.

My own saddle.

I mean the edge of the waterfall.

But I will not accept it.

I will keep fighting and I will not stop.

Because someday, one of us will bury the other.

Grodyan, look out!

He's coming!

Check up!

I'm handy!

Damn it, man!

I'm trying to save your life!

Well, you're not doing a very good job of that.

Ground's giving way, we can't help.

Grudyan!

What?

Where?

Oh, just a dream.

It was all just a dream.

No.

It wasn't.

Huh?

Zoe?

What are you...

Oh!

Yeah, not a good idea.

You fell down a whacking great waterfall.

Cracked a few ribs.

The doctor said it's a miracle you weren't killed.

What about Rudyard?

Is he here?

No, he didn't make it.

He's.

He's dead.

Eh?

Oh, God, no.

I mean, he didn't make it here.

They sent him to the other hospital.

Right.

He's fine.

Not a single mark on him.

It seems you entirely broke his fall.

You can't believe his luck.

I bet you can't.

Now what?

Trapon?

There you are.

Rudyard.

I'm sorry I couldn't stop him.

Okay.

I think we both know I went a bit far.

So,

I have brought you some grapes.

I hope you will accept them in the spirit in which they're intended.

Thank you.

Stick them on the side.

I'll have them later.

You mean you're not going to to share them?

Rudyard.

If those of me could spare a couple.

Rudyard.

Can't you behave like a normal human being?

A normal human being would share a bunch of grapes.

All right, clear off, Rudyard.

Go and get out.

There's no way to treat a visitor.

Leave!

I'm.

I am going.

But the grapes are coming with me.

No, they're not.

Continue me.

Let's go.

Goodbye, Chapman.

Don't forget this!

Ungrateful little-

Temper, temper, Eric.

You wouldn't want to hurt yourself.

And as for you, you can tell the old firm that I'm not coming back, so you've had a wasted trip.

What?

I didn't come here to find you.

You didn't?

No.

Mind you.

He thought you might be around somewhere.

Our old boss, I mean.

The Baron.

The Baron.

But while I thought we'd better update your file, as far as we're concerned, you can do what you like.

It's nice to see you, Eric, but you're not the centre of the universe.

So what are you up to on piffling?

Oh,

I'll keep that to myself, for the being.

You'll find out soon enough.

Same as the rest of them.

Get well soon, Eric.

Oh, and uh,

you weren't entirely truthful back there

about why you resigned.

I didn't lie, just didn't tell the whole truth.

I guess we'll both be keeping things to ourselves

for the time being.

Momentous events were underway.

I could feel it in my whiskers.

But as to what they were, I would have to wait and see.

Which irritated me no end.

Once Upon a Long Time Ago was written by David K.

Barnes and performed by Felix Trench as Ruddyard.

Beth Eyre as Antigone, Tom Crowley as Eric, Kira Baxendale as Georgie, Amy Roxon as Zoe Adiinka, Elmer Calpine as Marjorie, Andy Seacombe as Reverend Wavering, Sean Baker as the Mayor, and Belinda Lang as Madeline, with Mouth Squeaking by Holly Campbell.

The production manager was Elizabeth Campbell, and the music was composed by James Whittle.

The programme was recorded at the Octagon, Brixton, and was directed and produced by Andy Goddard and John Wakefield.

The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

Coach, the energy out there felt different.

What changed for the team today?

It was the new game day scratches from the California Lottery.

Play is everything.

Those games sent the team's energy through the roof.

Are you saying it was the off-field play that made the difference on the field?

Hey, a little play makes your day, and today, it made the game.

That's all for now.

Coaches, no more questions.

Play the new Los Angeles Chargers, San Francisco 49ers, and Los Angeles Rams Scratchers from the California Lottery.

A little play can make your day.

Please play responsibly, must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim.