Season 4 Episode 7: In the Buff

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.

Fiscally responsible, financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.

Visit progressive.com to see if you could save.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

Potential savings will vary, not available in all states or situations.

When you need a break, skip the scrolling.

Visit myprize.us.

The games are super exciting and you can actually win.

Myprize.us is the most fun, free-to-play social casino around.

Everyone deserves to win big.

All the slots and table games you love with incredible bonuses.

Sign up today for an incredible welcome package.

Myprize.us is a free-to-play social casino.

Users must be 18 or older to play.

Void work prohibited by law.

Visit myprize.us for more details.

When you need a break, make it memorable.

Visit myprize.us.

Real prizes, real winners, real easy.

Antigone Fun runs a funeral home in the village of Piffling Vale.

It used to be the only one.

It isn't anymore.

Though Antigone is usually up for a challenge, this latest one takes the biscuit.

She isn't getting paid for this, but she will get lots of exposure.

Wooden Overcoats, created by David K.

Barnes, Season 4, episode 7.

In the Buff by Molly Beth Morosa.

It all began at the village hall.

As Mayor Desmond Desmond knew, the problem with being kept very busy is that it's hard to keep track of what you're being kept very busy with.

That's why Georgie had made him a detailed digital calendar,

which he deleted.

Miss Crusoe, please don't be angry.

Why?

What's up?

Can you remember what I'm supposed to be doing between now and the day I die?

Not again.

I keep telling you, don't touch the calendar.

It's the colour coding.

It always draws me in.

The vibrant cerulean of a council meeting.

The regal scarlet of a night-inn with Nigel, the daverdal yellow of utility bill payments.

But

I didn't like the green against purple, so I tried to do things and they didn't work.

And the more I fixed it, the worse it got.

Then I got cross and I deleted it by accident, and I think you'll find it's all very relatable.

We cannot go on like this.

No, we can't.

Life was better when we relied on ink and paper and pencil cases.

Morning, all.

Calendar problems?

Yeah.

Those are the colours again.

And my fingers are too big for this keyboard.

It's a conspiracy.

Look, you need a calendar, and it's more efficient to have it all on the computer.

A while ago, I developed an app called Chap, which might actually make things simpler.

See?

You're meeting the mayor for Squash.

Let him win.

Oh, uh, sorry.

No, no, no, no, no, no, Eric.

You can keep your digital witchcraft.

Things are complicated enough around here as it is.

Outrageous!

Did anyone hear that?

Oh, perhaps we're haunted.

I hope not.

Now, look here.

Your worship, I have discovered something naughty in the archives.

Oh,

to be specific, and with regret, it is a folder

of smut.

Dibs!

I knew we couldn't allow incendiary material like this to remain within these walls.

No, the asbestos is bad enough.

Huh.

What?

I'm gonna moe.

This is just a photo of an old old statue.

Yes, it's a lady with a post-it note covering her top half.

Lift it and you'll understand why.

Oh, I see.

She's topless.

Don't say it out loud.

Breasts.

Right.

That's it.

Throw out, Georgie.

No.

What a statue.

She's already ripped that corset open.

Very fierce.

Wait, isn't that the square outside?

Yeah.

The file says Abigail Abernaffy, 1871 to 1924, the first woman on Pitling to practice science.

Ooh, made significant advances in biology and the field of human anatomy.

Wow, she was a pioneer.

And a frontline campaigner for women's suffrage.

Look, she was repeatedly arrested for civil disobedience, public indecency, and satire that actually worked.

So, where's the statue now?

It was before my time, but I'm afraid it was taken down and buried for being too risque.

Though there were plans for the council to cover her modesty.

Hence the estimates for a stone brazier.

I don't see what all the fuss was about myself.

No harm ever came from a nipple.

Well, until we can verify that, the statue is best left where it is.

No, it isn't.

Abigail shouldn't be hidden away just because she was proud of her own body.

I quite agree.

This is the sort of history that's worth celebrating.

All those in favor of reinstating Abigail's statue say aye.

Aye.

Aye.

All opposed?

There is a nuance to be had.

Motion carried.

We simply must get the statue restored immediately.

But do we have the funds for it?

When's our next council meeting again?

If only I knew.

I need a calendar that's too simple to delete, but too exciting to ignore.

That's it.

I know how we can raise the money for the statue and celebrate Abigail 2.

A naked calendar.

Oh, what?

Well, that'll be a lark.

We can hide behind teacups and...

Things.

Oh, Nigel, we'll enjoy that.

What a splendid idea.

I appreciate your interest in Piffling's history, but can we find a way of doing it without lots of naked people?

I don't see how we can, no.

Miss Crusoe, rally the troops.

We're going to do our bit for culture.

I say, that sounds exciting.

What's going on?

Miss Doyle, you can help.

We're doing a naked calendar.

I'm ready.

Where shall I stand?

Hooray!

And where was Antigone?

Oblivious to the steady advance of destiny, she was making herself some toast after a hard morning's work in the mortuary.

Not too soft, not too singed.

You're finally getting the hang of this.

Antigone won the world nil.

But Georgie, think of the scandal.

It's not a scandal if everyone's doing it.

Oh, why can't I enjoy my victory in peace?

I need a stiff drink.

Hot water?

Make it a double.

Hey, Antigone, you ever heard of Abigail Abernathy?

Of course.

I read all about her at school.

She was one of my heroes.

Intelligent, defiant.

And she really knew her cutest from her cubitus.

Anatomy joke.

I wouldn't open with it.

But the point is, there used to be a statue of Abigail in the square.

And it got torn down.

No, that's appalling.

How could that happen?

Patriarchy.

I knew it.

But now the mayor wants to restore the statue and put it back in the square.

If we can raise the cash.

I'd love to help in a cause like this.

Yes.

A mystery fluid auction.

Or a sponsored embarrasson.

Chili?

We have an idea already.

You see.

Hello!

Anybody?

Oh, dear.

Hello.

Antigony, you talk to her, have seen more than enough of that woman for one day.

I've no idea what you mean, but I'm on a break.

Well, I'm not going.

Strange.

Suspicious, one might say.

Oh,

coming.

Ah, Miss Fun, have you heard the exciting news?

Yes, I'm so glad we're going to honor Abigail again.

She was a tremendous inspiration.

She reminds me of myself back in the 70s.

Peace demo on the mainland.

Gave the police a real eyeful, I can tell you.

Then, then I thought, if you can't beat them, join them.

Bring them down from the inside.

An eye full of watch.

High time we got the old girl back on her feet.

Chin up, chest out, and all that.

I'm organising the fundraiser.

Ah, Georgie was telling me all about it.

I can't wait.

I say, really?

Yes, I'd love to be involved.

My brain's buzzing with ideas already.

Are you sure, Miss Farmer?

Absolutely, Miss Doyle.

You can sign me up at once.

Gosh.

It's always a quiet one, isn't it?

We've got twelve slots, naturally enough.

How about December?

Surely you'll want something sooner than that.

Very amusing.

You said you had some ideas already.

I thought I could do something with embalming fluids.

Why?

You're a dark horse, aren't you?

Got any props?

Well, I've got all the jars, of course.

Won't they be a bit too transparent?

I don't see what difference that makes.

Everybody else will, I assure you.

Is it safe to come out?

Yes, Mr.

Fun.

My sweeties are back in their wrappers, as it were.

Can we tempt you to volunteer?

I should cocoa.

Come on, Rajal, it's for a worthy cause.

She won't catch me with my trousers down, thank you.

What do you mean?

She's given you plenty of notice?

You'll never be as daring as us, Miss Fun.

Now, I wanted to see Miss Crusoe about the photographer.

What photographer?

Oh, yep, here's the details, Miss Doyle.

Words of experience with this sort of thing.

You mean for the Peffling Archive?

You're not putting those pictures in my archive.

Shush, Mr.

Funn.

Surely in your profession, you can't be disturbed by the human body.

The dead don't do calendars.

That's the first thing they teach you about undertaking.

Wait, what body?

What calendars?

Must be off now.

Lots to organise.

I'll see you at the hall tomorrow, Miss Crusoe.

Let's hope it's not too drafty in there.

Why would that matter?

Well, you may be happy to get your kit off in the cold, Miss Fun, but I'm not sure about the rest of us.

Too lou!

Oh no.

Antigone?

Photographer, December, chest out, kit off, wrappers, sweeties.

Won't they be a bit transparent?

Oh, God, Georgie, what have I done?

You've agreed to appear in a naked calendar.

Oh

no!

Antigone went to bed that night a nervous wreck, faced with a terrible conundrum.

On the one hand, she hated letting people down, but on the other, she liked keeping her clothes on at all times.

It was a tricky situation all round.

The next morning, however, she made her decision.

It's no good, Madeline.

I can't go through with it.

Nobody wants to see me of all people in the.

you know.

Exactly.

I'm gonna find Agatha at the hall and tell her she's got the wrong end of the stick.

My body should be left to the imagination.

In fact, I'm not even comfortable with that.

I may have been born without clothes, but I'm sure it was an oversight.

I even get washed in the dark.

Why, yes, I do fall over sometimes, but it's a small price to pay for dignity.

Oh, here.

Georgie!

Oh, hi, Aunt Sigane.

Are you gonna get your picture taken?

Christ, Georgie, cover yourself.

Have you no shame?

Not really.

Besides, we just had ours done.

Ours?

Jennifer Delacroix, Piffling FM, doing my bit for Fair Beauty.

Oh, my God, I don't know where to look.

Relax.

You cover the naughty bits with props.

Jen nearly dropped her speakers, but we managed in the end.

Oh, I could get used to being like this.

Unless it reads.

Look, I need to see Agatha immediately.

Where is she?

In there.

You might want to open your eyes so you can see where you're going.

No, thank you.

Told you.

Oh,

my

gosh.

Miss Fun!

You're not due until tomorrow.

Not trying to jump the queue, are you?

Miss Dora, you're.

That's right.

In the roar.

Mine's up next.

Once they've finished with Nigel and Dick.

It's like being back with Nick and Ostesi.

Strike a pose.

Everybody's thrown themselves into the spirit of the thing.

So liberating.

You'll see for yourself tomorrow.

Yes, well, about that, I'm actually.

A little apprehensive.

No need.

Let me introduce you to the photographer.

I say, Sin!

Kooey!

Sen, such a sweetheart.

I think they said Sin Sinjin, but they tend to drop the last bit for dramatic effect.

Agatha, doll!

We all start to make some magic?

Yes, I brought some handcuffs and a jar of jelly beans.

Well, in that case, let's stick the photo shoot and head straight for a good night in.

No, no, stop it, stop it.

I want to present Antigone Fun, alias Ms.

December.

Uh-huh,

our very own winter queen.

Winter what now?

Glad to meet you, Antigone.

I'm Sin?

They then.

Loving your look.

Don't tell me.

You're a model already, yes?

No, I'm a mortician.

Genuine mortar is she?

God, you're using shadow like Marlena Dietrich.

How'd you do it?

Uh, practice, probably.

And look at that skin.

Very ethereal.

Georgie?

Yeah, we're gonna need the reflectors for this one.

On it.

It's just visibility thing.

You know, making sure you're

visible and all that.

What if I don't want to be visible?

I imagine Miss Fanny's nervous about tomorrow.

That's natural, Antigone.

But you'll be absolutely fine.

Really?

Really?

As soon as your clothes hit the floor and you feel the air on your poticelli, I'd be surprised if you give it a second thought.

Yes.

See, let me explain why you're wrong.

Ah, and by the way, our only do tasteful.

Nothing dirty, nothing dodge.

Your comfort's all important.

That's why we've splashed some cash to have the heat none.

You can see it's made a difference.

Well, exactly.

I appreciate it, really, but this was a mistake.

I ought to be doing something else for the cause, like running a store or catching spiders.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, Antigone, stop.

Breathe, okay?

Breathing's hard.

I know, but look, maybe this isn't for you.

Or maybe it is and you haven't worked it out yet.

Either way, nobody's going to pressure you to do this.

I am.

No, you're not.

So, Antigone, you have a ponder, and if tomorrow you fancy getting your drag off and camping up a storm, we'll be glad to see you, okay?

But now,

we're running a teeny bit behind schedule.

Desiree and Niger really got into the groove, and we were like,

So, Officer Doyle, at last your trial awaits.

Ah, hereby charge you with being fabulous.

You've got me ganged to rights.

Georgie, get ready with the sweet new wrapper avalanche.

See you soon, Winter Queen.

Prepare to get Regal.

Yes, but I don't feel very Regal.

Antigone trudged away from the hall feeling more conflicted than ever.

Fortunately, a Thursday night meant a trip to the cinema to try and get her mind off things.

It's a nightmare, Herbert.

Or like the one where you're in front of the class and suddenly you're not wearing any clothes.

Exactly.

Why would anyone want to put themselves in that position?

Being pointed and laughed at?

You're a pallid, blue-skinned freak, and your elbows are bony.

Has anyone ever said that to you?

No, but they could do.

I bet Georgie never worries about it.

Or Jennifer or the Mayor or anyone else.

Oh, they were all having a wonderful time.

Why do they all have to be so cheerful and confident and normal?

It's sickening.

Was it cold in there?

No, why do you ask?

I'm having mine done tomorrow.

I'm July.

I'm not exactly Mr.

Universe, but I don't care.

It's a laugh, isn't it?

And maybe I'll meet some people.

Better you than me.

Anyway, there's no such thing as normal, is there?

At least that's what our film tonight says.

La vie au naturelle.

Very artistic.

Yeah, I was inspired by the calendar.

One ticket, please.

Yeah, don't worry.

The subtitles cover up the most interesting bits.

No such thing as normal.

Meet some people.

I'm July.

Antigone!

Hello!

Chairman,

why are you here?

I hoped I might bump into you, to be honest.

Where else would you be on a Thursday?

Care to join me?

Oh, why not?

Quite frankly, you're one of the only people I've met today who's managed to keep their clothes on.

Gosh, you lead an exciting life.

Popcorn?

No.

I can't say I'm looking forward to the film either.

It's not a classic, but it might give me some inspiration for tomorrow.

I'm getting photographed for the naked camera.

Great idea, isn't it?

And all the proceeds go towards restoring Abigail Abernathy to her rightful place.

Apparently, she was the first woman on Piflo.

To practice science, yes, I know that, Chapman.

I studied her at school.

She was one of my heroes.

Oh, sorry.

Her insights led to revolutionary techniques in the arts of embalming.

We owe her a great deal.

Except now,

when I've got the chance to repay her, turns out I can't bring myself to do it.

You mean the calendar?

I'm supposed to go in tomorrow, but

it's more difficult than they all seem to think it is.

Perhaps it isn't for you.

I'm tired of things not being for me.

Do you want to do it?

Yes.

No.

I don't know.

Well, if it makes you feel better, I'm fairly anxious about it, too.

You'll be able to anyway.

You're brave like everyone else.

None of them are scared.

I wouldn't say bravery is a matter of not being scared.

It's being afraid, but doing it anyway.

You used to wear a protective suit to go outdoors, remember?

So I should walk around with nothing on now?

No.

Well, that's your choice.

But what I meant is, you've been scared in the past and you've overcome it.

That was different.

Nobody was taking pictures.

All I'm saying is, don't tell yourself you can't do it.

If there's a part of you that really wants to try it and fear is the only thing holding you back, then I say go for it.

It sounds so simple when you say.

And take a name.

Evening, Redyard.

What are you doing here?

Watching a movie about nudists on the Cote d'Azur.

Good God, it's contagious.

Surely films are the last place you'd expect to find people getting undressed.

But what do you want?

To tell you, I shall be working late at the hall.

This is the only way I'll get anything done.

Not enjoying the photo shoot, then?

No, I'm not.

I can't get through a single file without a shout or a brazier being flung over my head.

The mess they've made is an outrage.

And that photographer.

What's the matter with them?

They're insufferable.

Upbeat, enthusiastic, non-stop cries of support.

The place feels like a hippie loving.

You're such a prune.

Some of us have work to do, and I'm behind on my schedule.

The sooner they clear out, the better.

This calendar is bringing people together for a good and wonderful cause.

Don't be absurd.

It's not absurd.

As a matter of fact,

I've got news for you.

It's getting my wholehearted support.

I'm going to keep my appointment and appear in that calendar.

You can't?

Why not?

You think I'm scared?

Well, I am scared, and that's exactly why I'm doing it, dammit.

Good night!

That is a bag of strokes.

Well, belligerence worked where sentiment failed.

You've outdone yourself again.

Chapman, I haven't time to decode your asinine jokes.

If you'll excuse me, I shall take my popcorn.

Hey, that's my popcorn.

Prove it.

But

I knew I should have kept the receipt.

Antiquity was as good as her word, and the next morning, she set out with a sort of steely determination you only get when a mortician decides to appear in a charity calendar.

Georgie babe, can you jump in and have a vada at the lights?

And why has Herbert disappeared now?

He nips out to buy some carrots.

For props?

No, for his donkey.

Oh, great shout.

We'll have to use that.

Stick Herbert on his back, ladydiver.

Love it?

Love it.

This is what I live for.

Okay, people, we've got a lot of months to shoot today, so let's stay fresh and focused.

Oh, that's funny.

All of a sudden, I feel a sort of chill.

Hello?

Hey, Antigone, you made it.

As you see, I'm here at last to face my fears.

And how's that working out for you?

I'm terrified, but crucially, still here.

When do I have to...

Once we're assembled, you all lose your clobber at the same time, okay?

All except Ms.

Doyle, because she didn't put them back on again in the first place.

Clothing with with social control.

Renounce it.

She's not wrong.

Now, come on, Winter Queen, let's get you some props.

What's your weapon of choice?

Oh, uh, I've got some purple lilies or a polystyrene crow.

That's from a shoot I did last week for over 80 Satanists in Keswick.

Very funereal, very on-brand.

But neither seems that they provide much coverage.

Well, if they did, then there wouldn't be much point in getting our togs off.

You okay?

You've gone paler than usual, which is quite an achievement.

Well, that's because I got cold feet.

This was a bad idea.

No, it wasn't.

You've got this.

Have I?

Let's do a quick lighting test.

Stand here, don't move.

We want to make those skin tones pop.

Georgie, flash gun.

What?

Gun!

How's that?

So-so.

I'm seeing spots.

I'm going blind.

I'll have to go home.

No, you won't.

It'll pass in a tick.

You'll be okay.

Shavelin, is that you?

Hey, September.

Glad to see ya.

Feeling ready?

I'm ready as I'll ever be.

I haven't been this nervous since I went skydiving with the Dalai Lama.

He was naked too.

Can I move now?

Oh, not yet, Antigone.

For some reason, you're still in shadow.

But the lights are dazzling.

Yes, it's beyond the laws of physics, but let's see what we can do.

Flash gun!

Worse.

Look at those shadows.

Antigone, are you in there?

Yes, just check in.

Keep playing with the levels, Georgie.

Will do.

Great.

Everyone, we'll be kicking off soon.

Keep covered till then, if you can stand it.

Now, we're on a strict timeline, so where's Herbert with those carrots?

And what about the dolly from the circus?

From the circus?

Yeah, top hat, big boots, camp with the capital king.

You mean Marlena Magdalena?

I am here.

No!

Where do you want me?

Marlena, over there.

Georgie, another test.

Antigone, relax.

Really didn't imagine there'd be so many people.

The more, the merrier.

Make a wish, Winter Queen.

What do you mean?

Flash gun!

Got it.

Ah, we've got it.

Antigone, you're beautiful.

And Georgie, you're a marvel.

I'm great at lighting naked people.

On that subject, listen up, supermodels.

The moment has come.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

And for us, that means getting our gear off.

Slowly over time?

Nope.

Quickly, like ripping off a plaster.

Except, it's fun and doesn't hurt.

Are we all ready?

Yes, yes.

On the count of three, then.

Actually, I'm feeling woozy.

One,

very woozy.

Two.

Very, very woozy.

Three.

Oh god, I'm gonna go.

Jesus Christ, you're gonna be a good one.

Queenie, Queenie, speak to us.

Are you okay?

Antigone.

I'm back.

Sorry to keep you all waiting.

I've got the carrots, Mr.

Crumble.

What did I miss?

Overwhelmed and under pressure, Antigone's brain had switched off until the coast was clear.

She woke up a while later, having been taken outside for some much needed fresh air.

She's coming round.

Easy does it, Antigone?

Yeah, you hit the deck really hard back there.

How long have I been out?

Um, pretty much all day.

All day?

Yeah, you were out like a light.

We sent for the doctor, but he just said, God, I envy her, and left some aspirin.

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

The room was stuffy.

Could have happened to anyone.

Listen, I'd better head inside to wrap things up.

Sure.

See you in a bit.

Take care, Winter Queen.

It's all gonna be fine.

It's not there, is it?

I couldn't even stay conscious.

Better learn alone get my picture taken.

Come on, mate.

You've not done anything like this before.

I'm proud of you for trying.

The Antigone I first met years ago would never have even left the mortuary.

Perhaps I should have stayed there.

Boy, blast of that.

Wanted to do this.

But then I'd hear these voices saying, look at her, how weird, how...

ugly.

So maybe hiding away is the best thing for me.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Would you care for second opinion, creepy girl?

Malena?

Hey, thanks for coming.

How was the shoot?

Most satisfactory.

They said I looked hot as, which is correct.

Then I got dressed, was about to go home when I heard the sound of an old friend talking rubbish.

I'm not talking rubbish.

Creepy girl, why must you always complicate things?

Funerals, plays, getting photographs taken.

It wasn't just a photograph.

Then please please tell us what it was.

Why don't you?

It was an opportunity to

celebrate Abigail Abernathy.

Ah, that isn't what you mean.

Try again.

Careful, Marlena.

It's all right.

If you really must know, I wanted to see what I'm really, actually made of.

To prove yourself.

If you like.

Too vague.

That's too vague.

What are we proving?

That you can take your clothes off for the camera?

What is it?

That I'm strong enough.

For what?

To be seen.

To be actually seen and noticed and seen.

I want people to see me.

I want people to say, oh yes, I know who that that is.

Candles and books and chocolates and theater.

I've done all these things.

And I want to be noticed, but I want to be bloody well seen.

Ah, yes.

Being physically exposed is scary enough.

But what if you realize you're not strong enough to be the person you want to be?

Yes?

Yes.

May, you're not being fair to yourself.

This was intense.

I look at bodies all the time at work.

Naked ones, dead ones on a slab, and I never faint.

Exactly.

You are braver than anyone else I know.

If you can slice up bodies without throwing up, then you are strong enough to do this photo shoot.

And you want to.

I don't have the right kind of body for it.

Are you a ghost?

A hologram.

A figment of imagination.

What do you mean?

Anyone with a body has the right kind of body.

Seconded.

I'm scrawny, pale.

My hair is a mess.

You're elegant, gothic.

Your hair is wild.

Do not hide.

Own what you have, creepy girl, because it is glorious.

Sure is, mate.

Thank you.

Sake, I wish they'd hurry up in there.

How long do they take to shoot some pictures?

It's a fine art.

It's a nuisance.

I've done everything in my power to move things along, so why are they still at it?

Hey, because they're waiting for December.

And they've waited long enough.

We can't sell a calendar with only 11 months in it.

Eventually, someone's bound to notice.

Unless there's someone else up the sleeve you're not wearing.

Eleven months is all we have.

Oh, we could bring back the donkey.

Do animals count?

They're basically naked already.

Takes all the drama out.

No, as things stand, this calendar's a bus.

Not anymore.

Well, hello, Winter Queen.

Oh, Miss Fun,

you're back.

And you appear to be...

For want of a better word, ready.

Wow.

You sure you're up to this?

Hand me those lilies and that polystyrene crow.

I want to get my picture taken.

You heard the woman?

Let's make magic.

And so the calendar was completed.

And it was a roaring success.

Pre-orders were through the roof.

And it wasn't long until both the statue and the calendar were made ready for their adoring public.

It is with enormous pride that we mark the reinstatement of Abigail Abernathy as she would have wished to be remembered, defiant to the last.

We couldn't have done it without all your support.

I give you the Pipling Uncovered Community Calendar.

I'll never forget a date again.

Form an orderly queue and have your receipts ready.

You've never seen anything like this, I promise you.

Oh, don't we all look splendid?

Well, Miss Fun,

I'd say we can be jolly proud of what we've achieved here, wouldn't you?

We can indeed, Miss Doyle.

By the way, you're not wearing heels, are you?

No, why?

You look

taller, somehow.

Suit you.

Well, try to keep it up.

Hey, you two.

Have you seen that crowd?

Climbing.

Mr.

Chapman, nabbed your calendar.

Just about.

Everyone on Piffling must have bought one.

I've already been been asked for my autograph.

Twice.

That can't be new for you.

You don't know what they asked me to autograph.

Antigone!

Antigone!

Rudyard's calling you.

Oh, ignore him.

He just wants to complain as usual.

I wouldn't be too sure about that.

Eh, what do you mean?

Take a look at November.

What?

Why?

Oh, my God.

It's Rudyard.

How did this happen?

He did it on his tea break.

He said pitching in was the only way he could see of getting the whole thing over with.

You mean Rudyard posed for a naked calendar just so he could get some work done?

That's ludicrous.

Antigone!

Don't look at the calendar!

Antigone!

Good grief!

As I said before, it's always the quiet ones.

And as the village began their revels, another chapter had seemingly come to an end.

Except.

Okay,

that's all our orders fulfilled, and even a few left over for the Taurists.

Not bad.

Now, where's Jen?

Hello there.

Excuse me, so sorry.

Do you mind if I look at that calendar?

Sure, go ahead.

Thank you.

Limey.

Great, innit?

I hope you do them every year.

Yes.

That's certainly given me a lot to think about.

What's up?

Oh,

nothing.

Thought I recognised someone.

Uh, I want to make a call, but there's no reception.

Nah, you won't get any unless you're in the vicar's bathroom.

There's a phone booth over there, though.

Thanks for the help.

He's seeing you.

No problem.

Bye.

Well,

it's safe to say that February is now officially the hottest month of the year, eh, Georgie?

Damn right it is.

Who is that, by the way?

Dunno.

I haven't seen them before.

Hello, sir.

It's me.

Yes.

I've reached the island.

Yes.

Look, you remember that little matter we discussed before I left?

Well, I think you were on to something.

That's right.

Eric Chapman.

I do believe we've found him.

If it is him, sir,

what should we do?

Yes?

Yes.

Understood?

No.

I can't remember when I saw him last.

Must have been

a long time ago.

In the Buff was written by Molly Beth Morosa, with editing and additional material by David K.

Barnes.

It was performed by Felix Trench as Ruddyard, Beth Eyre as Antigone, Tom Crowley as Eric, Kira Baxendale as Georgie, Alison Skilbeck as Agatha Doyle, Eleanor Fay as Sin, Andy Hamilton as Herbert Koff, Emily Stride as Marlena Magdalena, Sean Baker as The Mayor, Andy Seacomb as Reverend Wavering, Alana Ross as Jennifer Delacroix, and Introducing Amy Roxon as Zoe Adayinka, with Belinda Lang as Madeline, and Mouse Squeaking by Holly Campbell.

The production manager was Elizabeth Campbell, and the music was composed by James Whittle.

The programme was recorded at the Octagon, Brixton, and was directed and produced by Andy Goddard and John Wakefield.

The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

Packages by Expedia.

You were made to occasionally take the hard route to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

We were made to easily bundle your trip.

Expedia.

Made to travel.

Flight-inclusive packages are at all protected.