HINT! ep1: Let the Boddie Hit the Floor

This is the sound of Worlds Beyond Number.

Hi, everyone.

This is your GM, Erica, speaking, and I would like to say that our story is set in 1927 America, which was a bad time, rife with stories of injustice, but that is not the particular story that we are going to tell today.

That being said, you may hear some things that may be

a little

not right and injust,

but I can assure you that all players present and myself are very on board for this and were warned ahead of time.

And unlike sometimes in our real world,

in the end, justice will prevail.

So strap in and get ready for murder most foul.

The year is 1927.

It's been almost 10 years since the end of the Great War, and it's an era of prosperity and cultural dynamism.

Lucky Lindbergh just made the first solo, non-stop transatlantic flight from New York City to Paris in the spirit of St.

Louis.

The Harlem Globetrotters dazzled the nation with their first exhibition match.

Women have been allowed to vote here in the United States for seven whole years.

It is autumn in New York in the very well-to-do neighborhood of Golden Creek, and you have all been invited to the sprawling estate of your friend Rutherford Q.

Body, an eccentric millionaire and magnate of industry.

Mr.

Body is heir to the body fortune made by his father Jonathan.

Jonathan Johnny Body was a railroad and manufacturing tycoon.

He made his millions and dedicated the rest of his life to building libraries, concert halls, and parks.

Rutherford himself is a man about town, a playboy, a bit of a rake, and famously, a collector.

A collector of experiences and rare antiquities from his travels round the world, mementos and trophies of which festoon his mansion.

But the collection he most prides himself on is his eclectic assortment of friends and acquaintances.

Luminaries and interesting figures from all walks of life, regardless of creed, race, or religion.

It's quite the scandal amongst the New York elites, but well, that's just the sort of man Rutherford Dewbody

is.

You will all be moving from room to iconic room, investigating and role-playing.

There will be clues or hints in each scene that will unravel the mystery and enable you to eliminate weapons and suspects until you reach a thrilling conclusion.

And remember, it could be one of you.

Every few months, Mr.

Body will curate a selection of his treasures, mostly new, but sometimes from his current stash.

He'll have a select few friends over for an exquisite dinner to admire his artifacts, which he carefully arranges in a collection that he's themed often provocatively.

This time, he has chosen the items to celebrate the 50th anniversary of his father, Johnny Body's founding of Body Works Incorporated.

All of you are here, and it is just before dinner at 9 p.m.

In the great expanse of the hallway of Body Mansion, there is a grand entryway meant to inspire awe and perhaps envy in all of its guests.

Gleaming white walls with gold-leaf floral sconces, tall windows that peer out onto the private driveway with its manicured shrubs and its delicious century garden, where you've often watched Body's Dusenberg model J come tearing down the drive.

Photographs of the Body family from a different era peer out, and you can't help but wonder if the portrait of Jonathan Boddy is looking somewhat disapprovingly out those big glass windows.

Cassidy, you are here with your longtime friend, Mr.

Body.

Can you describe yourself a little bit?

Cassidy Green is a

well-dressed man in his late 30s, a deep forest green in his double-breasted suit that registers under dim light as being some kind of either navy or black.

It takes close look to tell that it's actually a green suit.

It's quite dark.

He

has sort of a blonde with a little hint of strawberry wisp of hair.

He's got a bit of a widow's peak.

So the middle of his forehead, he's got his sort of older hairline, but it's stretching back on either side.

He is dressed in an extremely tasteful manner, I would say.

There is nothing sort of ostentatious about him, but everything is very finely tailored in that way of members of the attachés to the upper class, where every part of him defies criticism, but takes no risk.

And

he gazes out, looking at the manor,

and smiles warmly.

By his, not in his hand, but by his foot is his briefcase, marking as a sort of legal briefcase

with two well-worn brass clasps marking him as a member of the legal profession.

And he's going to smile warmly at Rutherford.

Rutherford with dark raven black hair, slicked back,

wearing an immaculately tailored suit that is very, very up-to-date.

His physique is very much that of a gentleman of leisure who at this time is bodybuilding wasn't really a thing, but you can tell that he plays lacrosse, he plays polo, he's out and about early morning constitutionals when he hasn't no need to sleep off the previous night.

He smiles back at you and continues along with his story.

So I told her, darling, if you can't take it, then surely you can't join us at the next juice joint.

You know how it goes, don't you, Cass?

Oh, I certainly do, Rudd.

I'm happy to hear that, uh, well, I'm happy to hear that she she took it like a a good sport, and obviously, you know, she's uh

hasn't been out with you before.

No, they always do, they always do, it's the body way.

So glad you could join us here tonight, Cass.

It's a really special one tonight.

I do believe it will be one.

Uh, Rutherford, I was wondering if we might have a chance to speak in private before we make our way to

the other guests.

I uh

I received your letter by courier this morning, and uh

oh yes, yes, that's right.

It would have been arrived, it would have arrived.

Yes, uh,

you're welcome.

I

can't tell

Rudd, is this some kind of joke?

A joke?

No, if uh if I had told a joke, you would have laughed.

You always laugh at my jokes.

I do, but I'm struggling to understand.

And here, Rutherford's going to look around to see if there's anyone else listening and just goes like.

You...

Look,

when you told me that you wanted to retain me as your personal.

Personal attorney, yes.

Who better than my oldest school drum?

Well, of course, I...

I mean, I'm honored.

I know that we.

I know that my firm no longer represents the body

business empire.

No, no, you understand, you know, the growth and everything of as a as a corporation now, it's uh

i i it's wiser for me to retain my own corporate counsel there.

But I mean, y a trusted friend like you, I of course I'd I'd want nobody else to drop my personal papers.

What troubles you about this?

You seem very concerned.

Rutherford, y I

understand that you're not married, but one day,

one day, my friend, you will be.

Why?

What could possibly give you that notion, Castle Bean?

Ruth, you cannot.

Well, you can't.

I mean, it's yours to do with what you.

Do you actually want to leave me a controlling stake in the body?

Listen, you've you've known me since we were children.

When have I ever given the impression that I would sire an heir?

A legitimate heir, I suppose.

Rudd,

there are realities to this outside of.

I want.

Listen, I love my friends, and I want to make sure that you are taken care of should anything happen to me.

Is that so wrong?

Is that so strange?

No,

no, I suppose not.

I only mean to say, my old friend, that I

it

to give to leave that to me when I haven't been working

in the business for several years.

Well, you haven't been in business, business, but you've been in business, if you take my meaning.

And

Body leans over and winks jovially.

I'm gonna smile.

Excellent.

That's the last bit of it.

The rest of the staff is gone already.

At this point, you hear a piano startup playing a lively jazz tune in the ballroom.

Ah!

That is uh, that's Susie.

So good to hear jazz being played here.

I think, you you know, father could never stand this stuff.

He always was on about how the romantic composers were the pinnacle of all music making in the West.

Certainly.

Well, I'm not sure you could call it what Susie's playing jazz, but certainly it's not.

Oh, that's right.

You do do not quite get on.

Hardly.

Are you...

Can I ask, Rude, are you seeing Susie right now?

Or is that...

I can never keep up.

Oh, well, I mean...

Yes and no is the

short answer, I suppose.

We we have uh

you know

something of a more torrid relationship than you're usually used to seeing with me in with.

My god, I've never heard someone refer to their own relationship as torrid.

Well, this one's different, Cass.

This one is...

I mean, honestly, you know how the staff is often concerned about my comings and goings, but this one, the comings and goings are quite loud.

Alright, well, I'm going to make sure that the oysters got delivered downstairs.

I uh

Rudd,

your generosity means the world to me, but I...

I...

If I...

If anything were to happen to you, and I were to come into that position fresh out of the shadows.

Very exciting isn't it you could turn around the green family name

i don't think that would turn around the green oh come on cass you're so serious it's a party

lighten up a little bit and he slaps you on the back all right uh jovially i'll go make sure that you're on the champagne we'll talk more rutherford but i i have everything here that you asked for yes yes good uh completed and i'll sign whatever needs to be signed good man all right rudd We move to another part of the body mansion, to the billiard room where

Fred Mustard is in the middle of a lovely little game with his friend, Professor Plum.

Lou, can you please describe yourself a bit?

Of course.

Standing there, putting his weight on the cue, holding it in two hands, is Professor Arnold Plum,

a man in his 40s,

deep-set eyes,

lots of signs of sleepless nights, of anxious thoughts, of

a good bit of alcohol in his later years.

Arnold Plum is a man of science.

Standing there in a three-piece suit of a...

of a rich kind of plum color that I think he has in his later years taken on as being kind of his signature look.

A golden chain hangs between two of the pockets on his coat, attached to the end of a pocket watch, a pair of circular spectacles hanging just on the bridge of his nose, a proper bow tie tied tight around his neck, and just a hint of tobacco smoke on his lips from a pipe that has only for a brief moment taken rest on a table

beside the game.

You are currently lining up a shot on the scuffed green felt of the billiard table.

It is in

a dimly lit room

with hanging Tiffany lamps above the table of deep, rich, very, very heavy African heartwood with clawed legs.

Your companion, Fred Mustard, was once a robust man, but has since thinned out considerably.

He

has a lame leg from the war, and

you can tell

in his eyes

that he

is troubled.

Although he has not thus far said anything to that effect.

So you say

this.

These penny cups,

chocolate and peanut butter?

Um

that is what the

uh that is what we are proposing.

Now, how it will actually work, the ratios of peanut butter to chocolate, I mean, those are the things we are working out in the lab, and honestly, I was going to

you know Mrs.

White.

Oh, yes, yes, I was going to get her opinion, because I'm sure she has one on what what people would prefer.

I mean, chocolate is, I think, what the GIs and is kind of what's on everyone's lips, but I think the introduction of peanut butter is kind of a savory companion.

I think that, that's the ticket.

Wow.

Well,

I like both of those things quite a lot, and

I think that should you find the right ratio of it that won't, you know, stick too much.

Well, that's the other thing.

I'm working on a preservative that will hopefully sustain and keep the the peanut butter inside of the chocolate shelf stable.

But that we've been having a hard time with in the lab, but

we'll get there.

I think it'll be quite popular with both children and their parents.

Of course.

Well, and I've got one here.

This is, I'm gonna pull out a small kind of

rectangular piece of chocolate.

We're calling these queen bee stings.

No, no, try that.

Truly,

you don't mind?

No, no, it's um well, it's a prototype.

You just have to tell me how you feel about it.

Well, all right.

He takes a

little nibble at

Oh.

That's right.

It's little sweet, little hot.

Oh, that's a little cayenne, little honeycomb.

Oh,

that's quite strong.

I believe that

perhaps some folks with less developed palates might not care for it.

Well, you think the cayenne is a.

I think that perhaps across the pond it might be a little bit spicy for them.

That's

that's a that's a fair assessment.

But but but I But it's quite interesting.

This is what I love about your work, is that

it's so innovative.

I think

you...

And congratulations.

I truly think that that peanut butter and chocolate idea is really going to pan out for you.

Fingers crossed.

Yes.

You know, I wish Body would take a page out of your book and stop investing in machines of war and turn to other more delightful pursuits.

Very much so.

I um

not sure you heard we got into a scuffle at the club the other night.

Well,

I didn't want to pry,

but

yes, I mean, he's just on and on and on about it.

You know, this

why not return to serious sciences?

And the idea of these pursuits is frivolous, and there's nothing

there's nothing frivolous about joy.

There's nothing frivolous about

a moment of peace,

a moment of sweetness.

That's just as serious, if you ask me.

And the work we did, the work I did,

you know, during the war.

I mean, how I feel about it is complicated, and you're one of the few people I can tell about that.

Well, yes, it's

I take your meaning.

And

I fully agree.

I think that

I don't always know know how to bring.

I wish I had your passion when speaking in front of the rest of the government agencies that I have to convene with.

It's

the tenor is so much of celebration.

And, you know, they made it quite recently so that they can just keep proliferating these arms.

They can keep proliferating them.

And I know Body

is keen to capitalize on that.

Of course.

I mean, you're not having words with him?

I mean, you two are tennis partners.

Well, I mean to have them tonight, you know, he's not one he always says, oh, it's not my business.

Oh, I don't know about the workings of it.

But, you know, he does have final say.

And I've heard...

I've heard that in addition to wanting to work on these and research these kinds of...

the terrible things that we saw, that he wants to work on them for

other places aside from our government.

It's dangerous business.

Dangerous business here.

Well, uh I hope you have words with him tonight, and I hope that he heeds them.

Well,

does he ever heed anything that he doesn't want to heed except for his hedonism?

Oh, that's good.

That's good, friend.

Re really?

I mean, it's quite clever.

Quite clever.

Thank you.

Um, well,

uh, per perhaps those, uh

I I could help come up with with some more more of your candy names, you know, like

those penny cups could be

peanut butter circles.

Fred, you have a beautiful mind.

Ah, thank you.

And I just don't want you to forget that.

Now, I'm a bit dry.

Would you like a little bit?

Yes.

And he turns.

In the corner, there is

a cabinet.

There's a crystal, Bakari crystal laid out on the shelves and decanters with very prominent juices.

But there is a nondescript cabinet in the corner, and Fred goes over and pops it open, and the side panel actually opens up, and a full bar with booze of plenty is revealed.

Thank the good Lord for Mr.

Green.

Ah, yes, Cass can

always steer us right.

We move to the kitchen,

where

an elderly woman

with tanned skin and the slowest shuffle you have ever seen

is

puttering around the kitchen, arranging flower centerpieces.

This is Mrs.

Imelda Parvati Cunningham Peacock, and she is the dowager gossip of the New York elite.

She was friends with Mrs.

Body,

Mr.

Body's late mother,

and she has continued to arrange flowers in her memory.

She's here with Mrs.

White.

Abria, could you describe yourself?

Really quick, is

Claw working this?

Ah, um,

you have been

persuaded once more to you don't have to cook, but uh perhaps you could help

see to make sure just maybe pop everything in the oven just before all the viewing, just to keep it warm.

All the staff has already gone home, and uh this beautiful uh white kitchen with the black and white marble tiling on the floor that Mr.

Body has just recently had redone just for you

is somebody else's work has has already made uh the meal, but as he says, nobody quite knows their way around delicacies like you, Claw.

Claude,

Claw

looks around at this like immaculate, state-of-the-art, black and white kitchen that perfectly matches the outfit she is wearing in protest to having been convinced once again to be in this kitchen.

She is in optic white satin oversized pajamas

with like perfect finger waves and like dark, immaculate, vampy makeup, the kind that like as it smudges and wears over a night or a couple days of partying, as these

salons tend to go,

wears into a different kind of like

tussled and attractive.

And even though she is wearing the outfit that is like this place is a splatter factory,

she's now taking it as a point of personal pride as dishes are being moved around that she will still interact with things and not get a speck

on her.

And is doing all of this and chirping.

She's not ordering anyone around because there's no one around to order, but she still sounds like she's in a full commercial kitchen.

And she's just sort of dancing around Mrs.

Peacock, slowly arranging an orchid.

Having a great time.

How are you doing with your.

What are you doing?

Why are you in here?

Why are there flowers in the kitchen?

Oh, well, you see that the conservatory right now is on your left.

Oh, I bet, but

this is where traditionally I would do the

arrangements with Mrs.

Pink.

Yes, yes.

Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable comfortable in maybe any other place than this my dear okay i am comfortable right where i am and

should you see fit i i would love for you to be comfortable here with me

perhaps not getting quite so underfoot

oh oh i'm in your way

Well, apologies.

Yes.

Here, hold on, bite this.

And I just offer her like a little...

it's kind of like a proto, like chimichurry, like just a little sauce that I'm trying.

Like this steak, whoever made this steak, it is the driest.

It's a little overdone.

I'm just trying to figure out a way to judge it.

Is that anything?

So,

no, no,

I think that you are right to, uh, uh, you know, if the spice cabinet over there is made it in the French.

Just a toy.

I'll find it.

Um, Willie, you an opinion.

You know what?

No.

Pivot.

And at this point, she just stops and all of her flowing garments cease with her for a moment as she fully focuses on Mrs.

Peacock.

Do you think that Susie will be here tonight?

Oh, of course.

Can you you can you can already hear her with the racket she's making in the ballroom?

She thinks that's jazz.

Oh,

those Hollywood Westward types, boo.

Look, you just...

She's a walking red carpet, and he will walk right over her to the next one.

Yes, well, Eddie, he hasn't quite walked over or away from you yet, has he, dear?

What?

What do you mean?

Wait.

Okay.

Anytime there's an attractive,

talented young woman in the mix, it's gotta be because Rutherford has

has caught been had his eye caught by you all that's very generous um

i think his uh affinity for me is

talent where are you from by the way this is harlem like two like i'm like three stop

but well i mean to say is what uh

your accent is quite unusual oh it's french i am just back from across the the bond.

I was there for...

Oh, gosh, it felt like years.

But how long was it?

Eight months.

Well, you certainly have adopted this.

It feels like my second home after New York, my first home where I was born.

What did you say, salt?

And are you gonna

shamble over?

Mrs.

Peacock putters

after you very slowly.

Oh, yes,

I used to go to Paris quite a lot, actually.

Yeah, were you there before the Eiffel Tower was built?

Oh,

why, yes, yes, I was.

Nobody knows how old Mrs.

Peacock is.

She gingerly tucks some asters into the arrangement.

Um, she says, Yes, it's uh the city of lights,

too bright for my taste, if you know what I mean.

I do not

you're fun.

Well,

you're

your type, perhaps a different type of fun than you, but your type is a lot more like

Rutherford's.

But listen, listen, dear.

You have to come to one of my uh bi-weekly tea times with the ladies.

It's quite a, you know, they joke that

reputations are made and broken at the peacock tea times, and you seem like you could break quite a lot of them.

I can't tell if this is a good interaction.

Oh,

this is fun.

I think there's a lot of like speaking just low enough that, again,

Mrs.

Peacock is maybe 800 years old.

I don't know.

So there's a lot of like muttering and mumbling just to like sit under the floor of her hearing.

So this is actually like very fun for Claw, but in that way that she's kind of like talking a little shit

to Mrs.

Peacock and about

and enjoying her time in the kitchen despite her best efforts.

Yes, well, all I'll say about your kind of fun is that

you might

want to watch out for Rutherford, you know.

Well, he was such a nice young boy.

That's a lie.

He was always a terrible young man.

His mother could bless her soul.

She was...

She was...

too good for this.

She was

too nice

for my good.

She was too nice for her.

What am I saying?

She was too nice for her own good and too good for this world.

And now that son of hers is trampling all over her legacy.

And you seem

bright and well-spoken.

And I think that you should take care that Rutherford doesn't drag you around into any of his nonsense.

You're.

You're actually quite sweet.

What?

Sorry, um, you're

you're quite sweet!

Ah, thank you, dear.

Look, Rutherford is

whatever he can get away with being at the time.

Um,

but I'll keep my eyes out for him.

Thank you.

Yes, you see that you keep your eyes out for him.

Oh,

well, that's nice.

And she stands back and there's a lovely arrangement of orchids from the conservatory, and seasonal asters, and chrysanthemums that you see popping up in the neighborhood in autumn.

This is actually quite nice.

Thank you, yes.

Did you like study this in whatever existed before schools were invented?

I studied this in.

Yes, actually, there wasn't.

How old are you?

I had a governess is what I had.

And suddenly you hear a gong ring and the quote-unquote jazz in the ballroom stops.

And you all know that that is the signal to repair to the lounge where you will have the newest collection unveiled before dinner.

On the way, I'm going to like cut off, like there's always that like little bit that you're trying as you're like finishing dishes.

And I've just got like a couple weird little

just little weird little bites and little nibbles and I'm gonna like throw them under a cloche and take them with me upstairs

As you all enter the lounge, the lounge is full of couches and comfortable armchairs that form an intimate semicircle around a roaring stone fireplace.

This room feels like a Victorian drawing drawing room, but perhaps

like a lighter and airier take on it.

There's wood paneling and wood wainscoting,

but the wallpaper above those is patterned sort of in a modern style with art deco lines and

lines and triangles.

You all walk in, and body is standing in front of six marble plinths, each with

an item item placed on it and accompanied by a card.

My friends,

this evening's salon has a theming of workers of the world uniting.

Items from far and long

past that have been used by craftsmen and

workers, those who have come up in the world by the sweat of their brow.

This, of course, to uh

celebrate Father's, the fiftieth anniversary of Father's founding of Body Works.

You see a candlestick that is a simple solid brass plated in gold.

There is uh uh what looks to be an old uh knife, but with a newer handle.

Uh there is a green pipe.

There is a silver revolver,

a large thick length of rope, and a gold-plated wrench in a shadow box.

Each of you has a moment to look around

and perhaps read an accompanying card on one of the items.

Brennan, Mr.

Green, what do you look at first?

I think looking at those, I'll actually go ahead and look at the rope.

I think that's the one that sticks out to

me as being like

everything else here is made of metal and could like theoretically stand the test of time

and be special.

And I'm like, special rope?

What the hell?

And we'll walk over and read the card on it.

It says,

1895, Kyoto, Japan.

Oh, gas.

You old dog.

I knew you'd want to take a sniff at that.

You see, this rope isn't from very long ago at all.

It's from

a couple of decades past.

There was construction of the Higashi Hong

Hong

a temple in Japan, Kyoto.

There was no rope strong enough in the area to hoist the heavy timbers that were needed for the temple, so the devotees of this temple, the females, they cut their hair and they wove it into a bunch of hemp and created an incredibly strong rope.

You look at the rope and it is indeed made with human hair.

It is hairy rope and it is a few inches in diameter and

six feet in length about give or take.

Yes, there was hundreds and hundreds of feet long bits of this, and I managed to,

during one of my trips there,

have somebody cut off a length of it.

And I thought, you know,

these extraordinary women that, you know, got things done, you know, with only what they had is something definitely worth commemorating and adding to the collection.

Well, you are always a romantic at heart, and a lock of a fair woman's hair.

Mass-produced.

Yes, Quite lovely.

Quite lovely.

Do you do you know?

It's uh there's still hundreds of feet left over there.

It's just sitting there, and the Japs can kind of just touch it anytime they want.

Wonder what.

I don't wanna.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, yes.

Uh, he seems lost in thought for a moment.

Are you all right?

Yes, yes, yes.

It's just, you know, I loved my time over there.

Loved it, loved it.

You know, what a wonderful country.

You know, it's very polite people.

You simply must go sometime with me.

You'll like it.

You'll like it.

Well, yes, seems like there's a very uh communally minded people there.

With this

rope made of everyone's combined hair.

Rudd, are you all right?

I've

my dear fellow, I've never been better.

Right.

You got a big coil of human hair on a plinth here.

Is this not the first coil of human hair that you've ever seen?

And isn't that remarkable?

Well, we are remarking on it.

Look,

I can't.

We're here honoring

the international workers of the world, the wobblies?

You know, you're all.

What are the wobblies?

Wobblies?

Are these people unsteady on their feet or something?

What I mean to say is,

your old man had my old man back when my pop was your pop's lawyer

viciously crack down on labor actions.

Yes, the Pinkertons that, you know, the Pinkies.

Top to bottom, front to back.

I mean, truly.

So what's the relationship with...

It's a great piece of hair.

Congratulations.

I did it.

I killed this man.

Lou.

I'm going to go get us some drinks.

Ah, yes.

The booze.

Professor Plum, what would you like to take a look at?

Oh, Professor Plum has replaced

the pipe.

Professor Plum's pipe is back in his mouth, I think, as he leans over and gazes at the knife.

The knife,

you read

Egypt.

Question mark.

And you take a look, and the knife is a beautiful piece of unusual looking steel

that has been sharpened to a point on both sides.

There is

what looks to be a newer handle of purple heartwood with carvings resembling an Egyptian lotus motif.

And

it seems though the blade itself is

somewhat older to be in working condition.

Interesting.

Uh, this this piece I'm I'm quite proud of.

I uh

obtained it uh from an Egyptian pharaoh's tomb.

Really?

Yes.

An actual tomb.

That's right.

You you went in there yourself?

Well, I didn't go in myself, but uh you know, I was in Egypt and you know, about five years ago there was, you know, there's a couple new discoveries and,

you know, some of them happened to make their way onto the market and I purchased this one and had it redone you see redone yes you found an artifact and you had it redone yes yes it's perfectly good steel this steel is uh

from uh by all accounts a meteorite you know the the Egyptians uh advanced though they were uh didn't know how to really smelt or Ruthford that's not how steel works oh hello uh uh sorry French That's not how steel works.

That she does that all loud.

Yes.

Oh, yes, your affectation claw.

Um

uh please enlighten us.

How does steel work?

It's an alloy.

An alloy?

An alloy.

Uh speak Rutherford.

Uh alloy.

A mix of two metals.

Yes.

Oh, I see, I see.

I have friends from um Pennsylvania that um work in steel.

Oh.

Manufacture.

Yes, well, my father, as you know, had a steel plant, so I think I know a little bit of something about steel.

But in any event, this is meteorite.

They would use the iron that was in meteorites for some of their finer blades.

And as you see, it has withstood the test of time.

And I had it sharpened on up and a new handle wrapped around the tang of it.

That's a

knife found, yes.

Thank you.

Understood.

So the so the elements of the knife that are actually

the what was found in the Pharaoh's tomb are simply the blade.

And you've oh no, there was a well yes, there was, but there also was a handle on it originally.

You took that off and replaced it with this one.

The new good one, yes, this one's in perfect working order.

Do you hear that, Claw?

Well, as always, Mr.

Body, quite the collection.

Yes, yes.

Imagine them just cooking and,

you know, chopping things and cutting things.

And with this knife, an ancient Egyptian held this knife and worked in...

Who knows?

Who knows what they used it for?

They could have been cutting papyrus.

Professor Blubb's going to reach in.

take the pipe out of his mouth and just start kind of shoveling chocolate into him

just gently while he just tries to busy his mouth so that he can't speak speak the words that are in his mind.

Ah, Claw, I see that you've found something that interests you.

Yeah, talk to me about this pistol.

Ah, well, as you see, the difference between a pistol and a revolver is that a revolver has chambers and a pistol has a cartridge in which you load the bullets, you know.

But this is a revolver, a six-shooter to be exact, a a cult single-action army service revolver that was

by all accounts used by Mr.

Wyatt Earp.

He was a legendary lawman in the old west.

And what does that have to do with the theme for tonight's saddle?

Oh, well,

our

lawmen are the thin.

I open the clothes

and I grab a morsel.

It's a little piece of that steak, and I flash-fried in some of like the leftover steak fat and butter.

I found one of the chrysanthemums that I was like, oh, this is an edible one, and it's got like a little peppery bite.

And then, like, built, kind of weaved a little like nest around it, so it's like a little enclosed piece of steak.

And I flick it into his mouth so he shuts up.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

So,

Claudette, you've done it again.

So, it sounds like you're reconsidering.

Oh, we can talk about it later.

I think, oh, maybe not now.

Excellent.

And he actually looks over at a young woman with Asian features.

She's wearing a red flapper dress, you know, sequined and beaded beautifully.

She has a cigarette holder, a long cigarette holder

made of silver with a cigarette at the tip.

And she has

a short bob and pouting red lips that are downturned into a frown, specifically at the two of you.

Takes a look at her and says, Ah, yes, perhaps we had better discuss this later.

You wouldn't want her to get mad, would you?

And I grab another little piece and then slowly offer it.

Body takes his chances and he opens his mouth, uh,

almost more fish-like than is

probably attractive in this moment.

What a man.

God, the worst.

This woman, Susie Scarlett,

which is the stage name of Ruby Shu,

Hollywood Starlet and current it girl, walks over and

looks meaningfully at you and says, Oh,

well, may I try a bite?

I forgot you could talk.

It's the pictures.

Forgetful.

Go ahead.

And I'm going to pick up one of them, and then, as I'm handing it off to her, accidentally drop it on the ground.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That was the last one.

A bulb is so hard to find, isn't it, Rutherford?

And I turn and storm away.

I'd like to.

I'd like to walk over to Professor Plum.

Young squire.

Oh, uh, Professor, uh, submissive from you, and I'm gonna pull a tight, uh, well-rolled Cuban cigar out of my inside pocket and hand it to you, and have one for myself as well.

Uh, take out a nice silver cigar cutter.

An appointment on the balcony, perhaps, Professor?

Oh, we're long overdue.

I would take it you were being serenaded along with the good colonel by uh Miss Scarlett.

Oh, yes.

Who doesn't love a bit of

quote-unquote jazz?

I could have sworn Fat Swallow had broke in the back window and started playing.

It was incredible.

I swear, Langston Hughes were among us.

Exactly.

I hope Mr.

Ellington pays us a visit.

Listen.

Oh, excuse me, that's who I was.

Like the wait, what?

I'll just look and go.

Were you, you and the Colonel were uh with Miss Scarlett in the ballroom listening to her fine tunes play?

Oh, we were actually in the the billiards hall.

I mean, his table's much better than mine, so.

Oh.

I always appreciate the chance to rack up and hit a few.

Oh, of course, of course.

And I'm going to take a moment to sort of squint my eyes and look over at Claudette, who's storming out of the room.

Having just brought the clotion here, and I think that there's a moment where I just go, I wonder who she was playing for.

And I was like, in any case, let's light up a cigarette for a moment.

I think Dennis's about to get started.

Yes.

Do I catch Claudette's eyes as you're going out of the room?

100%.

I'll look over at Claudette as you're walking out and just

look at the pistol you were looking at and mouth the word help to you with a thumb across the piston real quick.

She immediately redirects and is going to come out to the balcony.

And that same little closure, like, she brings it out, and you can see the empty plate.

And then she, like, bangs it again, and there was, like, a second one stuck up in the like curve of it.

So there's a couple more.

Like, you guys want to try?

Oh, why not?

Help my sidelines.

Thank you, Claudette.

You see,

behind you, Mr.

Body is having a very urgent whispered conversation with Miss Scarlett, who looks upset.

Mrs.

Peacock is oblivious to this and is currently examining uh the the wrench

oh green knight how's it gone uh well i'd say we're uh it's always nice to see rutherford take an interest in the working man's plight and

i was about to say the same

very strange for a man such as he to host a celebration of work

certainly well i would see to it that i'm uh really moved, and I'm so glad that he was able to take up the cause of workers, not only from this present moment, but some from centuries or in fact millennia previous to this.

Yes,

he showed me the knife

from Egypt, held by an Egyptian, he said.

With steel.

Well, of course, steel, and then, of course, the idea that

it was perhaps made better by his hand.

Well, I think we all recognize that the Bronze Age came well after the Steel Age.

Yes, of course.

Well,

you can't beat the booze.

Wait, you have booze?

We certainly do.

Some of our fine Canadian friends have seen fit to curry these

favors from the far north here.

I'm going to reach across you to find your drink.

Just take a little sip.

It's like, and I'll actually go over on the balcony and just take out a completely unlabeled dark bottle of

whiskey and pour some.

He asked to the day where they can put the labels back on the bottles.

I swear.

I love this juice.

Sorry, French, French, French.

I love this juice.

Real quick, I just doing a little bit of field testing.

This is a new candy of ours that we're working on.

These are penny cups.

Penny cups?

A bit of chocolate.

A bit of peanut butter.

Peanut butter is a little artificial, but it's good.

Well, we have to.

Artificial?

It's fine.

No, it's the preservatives.

We can't get.

We need to be able to keep it on the shelves.

Look at that little salt just to really cut through.

Chocolate's wonderful.

I mean, it's it's uh what is it?

Why?

It's uh.

How do you get that temper?

Hmm?

The temper on it.

Oh, well, he doesn't have a temper.

I think he's a completely reasonable, lovely man.

Well, fine.

You tell her, or I will tell her myself.

Darling, if you tell her, I'll go to the press.

I'm sure they'd love to hear all about it.

I literally like hands out to them like, gossip's happening.

Hold on.

Yeah, I think I'll freeze in the moment.

I have like a lit match two inches away from a cigar and just eyes wide, completely frozen.

That's right.

I'm sure that the press would like to know about all of it.

I'm sure they'd love to see those little photos of.

There's a moment where, at this point, Mr.

Body and Miss Scarlett

look around,

see you watching.

Miss Scarlett turns as red as her name, and she heads out.

No, don't storm all.

Stay, continue.

Dinner,

dinner is served.

And he looks to you.

Oh, I wouldn't know.

I was a guest invited.

Thank you.

I'll look over at him and say, dinner is served.

Thank you.

Thank you, Cass.

You don't have to do that.

I look to Mr.

Green.

Well, for after dinner, then.

Duty calls.

cigar away yeah

uh and i'll i'll i will walk off i know that the staff have all been sent home but i will basically walk back knowing that everything has been laid out and prepared and just start and just walk it into the dining room i don't have to do this part i'm just walking behind you harassing you while also making sure the right things get picked up like she's doing the job she will just bitch her way through as you're doing it i'm saying it's a liability these stat the staff turnover at the body mansion means that we don't know who's going to say what what to the police.

And so

it's not your.

Aren't you a lawyer?

Well, I brought up the legal liability, and so he said you can do it.

And I said, well, I've talked myself into more humiliation, so here we go.

You enter the dining room, which is a long table set at one end for just six people, but clearly capable of serving 20.

The colors are white

and purple.

The linens are with fine blue cornflower cornflower pattern shina depicting perhaps an English idea of what a Chinese pastoral scene might look like.

There's shining silverware laid out with what

Mrs.

White you would know to be probably one more fork than is necessary.

And

there are long oil still lifes of fruit and feasts and festivals in abundance in gilded frames behind you.

As you all sit down to dinner,

which is

sort of a serve-yourself type of a deal due to the staff not being currently in the mansion,

there's a pause in conversation,

and

I think you all take a look around at each other and what

is on your faces.

Cassidy is distracted.

He's distracted.

And I think normally would be present to like make eye contact about some of the shitty things being said or kerfuffles.

You know, Peacock is sort of oblivious, and Scarlett is not, you know, Cassidy's not a fan of Scarlett.

But I think anytime there's meant to be a meaningful moment of connection,

Cassidy is sort of

looking down at the table with his head turned in the direction of whoever is speaking

and has his briefcase by his feet in the dining room.

Claw's expression is one of like

that sort of like mingled consternation.

Like she's self-chastising and a little upset because every she can't stop herself from cycling back to complaining about something about the food or like the temperature it should have been brought out at and this is why like like someone should be

as much as she wants to be that kind of like effervescent dilettante that sits atop of the need to be useful she cannot help herself but like deeply care about this food even though she was only like part of it a little bit and every time she like begins to spin up usually to complain uh with a half forgotten french accent Uh, she like clocks it in herself and then gets a little quiet and then looks around

and then grabs like her glass of wine and refills it and continues drinking.

And it's just like this weird cycle.

I think Professor Plum

is,

I think,

realizing that he maybe needs to pace himself a little bit more, and is uh, and as he has been invibing just a bit too much, I think, and feels

his

eyes kind of locked on Fred talking to Mr.

Body,

hoping the conversation is the one he wants it to be.

And you notice that

Fred Mustard is

making the kind of conversation where he's talking about something innocuous, but clearly looking for an opening.

Miss Scarlett, who had hurried away earlier and

arrived a little later than you, has clearly been crying.

She has smudged eyeliner.

Her lips have been redone, but clearly she didn't have any further mascara in her arsenal, so her eyes are a little the worse for wear.

Mrs.

Peacock is really very much enjoying.

She's sitting next to you.

Mrs.

White keeps tapping your arm and, oh,

I like that.

I like the way that you incorporate plants into it, you know.

I was really inspired by your

arrangement, the way you had like the petal side of phasing out.

And I was like, what if we...

You know, when I was younger, they tried to bring tomatoes to the UK, and it was,

they thought that it might be the plants that were the edible part

which are in fact as you know a nightshade

How many people died?

Oh was that the cause of the black plague?

No, oh well dear I'm not that old.

I I was only there for I was only there for the

You know the the the second one the the one after the 1600 the one that was this spread from uh I think uh mummy bags

The bags that were made of mummies.

Mummies, I think.

You guys used to consume mummy.

Crazy.

And I'm going to make sure her wine glass is always full.

This has been the greatest love story of my life.

I love Mrs.

Peacock so much.

She has clearly taken quite a shine to you.

Where's, sorry, what's our like sitting?

What's our sitting order?

Oh, where are we?

So there are six of you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

There are seven, seven of you.

Mr.

Body is at the head head of the table.

You are seated on one side of

Mr.

Body and next to Mrs.

Peacock.

And on the other side of Body is

Scarlet and Mustard.

And Cassidy.

Cassidy is next to mustard.

And Plum is on the other side of Cassidy.

I believe.

On the other side, like across the table.

Across the table from Cassidy.

Okay, so Cassidy, so like...

Me and Professor Plunner are at the foot of the table across from each other.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

At this point,

Scarlet

is eating

quietly,

sort of sulking her pretty lips in a very

bowed pout,

which gives Fred, Mustard, the space to lean in front of her and speak with Mr.

Body.

And you can overhear him saying,

Listen,

it's just

I don't wanna I don't want to

believe any of the rumors that I've been hearing, but I you know my feelings about the new research and development branch, and

I

would hope that

you wouldn't be using any of that at all, much less for

countries that are less friendly to America at the moment.

Oh, you know, I just listen.

Somebody's going to make them.

And it might as well be us.

We can put that money towards good causes, you know, here in the community.

At this point, Mrs.

Peacock actually perks up and and turns away from you and says, oh, like

the children's library in downtown?

Oh, well, that's, I mean, that was more my mother's sort of pet project.

You know, I, I,

I'm gonna kick Body under, uh, like, just under the table if I'm sitting next to him.

Just give him a little shin kick, like, nice.

Uh,

he

gives you a, a bit of an amorous look.

Oh, no, I understand understand what he likes.

Gives you a look that says later.

And he says, yes,

you know,

as good as that money might be for a children's library, I feel that it would be a lot more of a razzle-dazzle moment to have

the name, you know, a new concert hall or, you know, something, something lively and entertaining, you know?

There's a time for celebration.

I mean, I don't hate entertainment.

Like, we are in

just an age of music and poetry, and we should be celebrating that.

Yes, yes.

And he takes his wine glass and, you know, raises it for a toast.

I don't like that.

This is going.

Like, there's a look on her face that's like, I don't like that you like me right now.

Okay.

All right.

Scarlett also does not like that he likes you at this moment.

But Fred perseveres and says, no, no, no, but

listen,

think about the implications of it.

I mean,

you know what

we all went through and how awful it was for everybody over there.

And I just

don't want that to happen to anybody.

you know not even not even our enemies i mean but wasn't that the last great war

Well,

you know,

this is not an official government position, but

that was the Great War, and I hope to see it be the last.

But,

you know,

war is omnipresent in our lives.

Come on, Fred.

Don't be such a downer.

I mean, think about all of the

incredible advancements we've had because of research and development into these kinds of things.

I mean, who is going to

fund the kind of science that, you know, like the government and the military?

Isn't that right, Professor?

That was me once.

Yes, and now you have great advancements in the realm of peanut butter.

Yes, I'm a candy man now.

Well,

Mr.

Green, you're being very quiet.

Yes, is anything wrong, Bean?

I just want to make sure that we have everything

in order for festivities after dinner is concluded.

Ah, yes, yes.

I do look forward to it.

Seems like quite a few of you have taken a shine to some of the items.

I cannot wait for the lively discussions that we'll have about them.

I'm looking at Miss Scarlett right now.

The conversation that was had in the lounge when myself and Mrs.

White and Professor Plum were on the balcony, she was the voice who had said,

you need to tell her

or I will.

Or I will.

And then his counter to that was, I'll go to the press.

Gotcha.

Okay.

I think I'm just keeping my eyes on Scarlett for a moment here, but I'm also just looking distracted.

How close is dinner to being done?

You're on,

it looks like you're finishing your entrees.

Okay.

And if you're looking at Scarlett, I think at this moment, since she's not currently in conversation with anybody,

she'll meet your gaze.

I'll just take a look at her.

Her mascara is running.

I've just rarely seen her

like lacking composure like this.

So I think that Cassidy will just look over and be like,

What was that little ditty you were playing before dinner, Miss Scarlett?

It's just

she

gathers herself and says, Oh, just a little something that I heard out at a club.

Are you able to play from memory?

Why, yes.

Play it by ear, so to speak.

Yes,

it's something that I never quite got good enough at, I think, to be

frank with you.

But

I do enjoy it.

I do enjoy music quite a lot.

It's

calming, you know.

Have I ever heard her say something self-effacing before?

Have I ever heard her say something like, like, oh, I never got good enough at it?

Uh,

in a joking manner, she has.

I think that this was very earnest.

Yes, I, this,

in a way, I think, is

her actually,

she's clearly thinking about it and

feeling bad in a moment, in a moment of sort of self-pity.

But she says, but

thank you so much for noticing.

You could all hear me?

Yes.

Oh,

I'm sorry about that.

Oh,

it was lovely.

Really?

Lovely.

That's what I said, isn't it?

That's true, but is that what you mean?

Yes.

Even Imini giggles a bit at that one, and she looks over to you, Cassidy, and she gives a little nod.

I will,

looking to avoid scrutiny at the table and not liking to be in large group social encounters, really.

I know you can see Cassidy's like never good at a dinner table, really.

I'm just going to lean back

and

lean back like I'm checking on the sort of the grandfather clock in the corner of the room and pull a handkerchief out of my inside pocket and just hand it sort of behind Colonel Mustard to her and quickly like drag a finger under each of my eyes.

Oh,

I'm so sorry.

My makeup must have.

No, it's this new stuff.

I don't know.

I don't know how you do it, you know, keeping it going all night long.

Claw's gotten really quiet since her sort of like friends in this are being kind to Scarlett.

And she's like sort of vacillating between

opinions and is going to make sort of pointed contact with Cassidy, like eye contact with Cassidy, just to like, it's like a little query of like, why are we being nice?

I think you make eye contact with me and it is freaky because I'm totally vacant.

After I hand the handkerchief, I like make eye contact with you and on my face do not register that we are looking at each other

for like a good five seconds.

And then finally, after we're staring at each other as the conversation continues i suddenly snap back into my body and look alarmed that i've so clearly lost my train of thought and and now i'm just like looking at you embarrassed like where was i did like literally like giving you the look of like i missed a joke or i missed something

uh you know what i'll take that as the cue there is something inside of the like okay actually everyone's everyone's a little insane.

And I'm just going to like give like a little like head nod gesture in in the vague direction of like leaving the room with that like sort of like girl-to-girl implication of like powder room.

Um

if you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to go fix my makeup.

And she moves off.

Boys, I have to ask, who do we think is going to win the pennant?

Is Baby gonna do it again?

Well,

I mean, he's a hell of an athlete, you know, Great Gambino.

Yes,

I'd put money down on that, you know.

Nobody doesn't like him.

The Sultan of Swater, so they say.

Yeah, I think he's got another championship in him for sure.

Pirates look good, but I think he can beat them.

Oh, the piles.

Everybody's saying that.

You know, and you move off to one of the

powder rooms just off of the dining room.

So I'm gonna lead Susie past the closest powder room to like a little it's it's it almost looks like a little like linen closet Uh, and then back behind it, there's like a small jewelry case, and there's just like a little trove of leftover makeup.

Look, if you're a part of,

look over, look, and I'll drop the accent.

Look, if you're gonna be a part of the body count, just make sure you know where we keep the stuff.

And I grab makeup and a little, like, a tiny flask of vodka and then take her into the powder room.

And like, with like the little tools, using like sip the vodka, pass her the flask, uh, and sanitize like the brush that's in there.

Thank you.

I

uh the body count, that's yeah, that's very funny.

Um, I so you and body are

ancient history.

Oh, oh, I and if anyone asks, I do a French accent the whole time, okay?

Right, right, yeah.

Hold still, look up.

Well,

okay, I sorry, I um

was a little cold and rude before.

It was, um

I uh

thought that maybe you

disliked me, uh, because of um

well, I I thought y you and um yeah, I do dislike you.

Nobody's ever frank like that out on the West Coast.

Everybody's so polite and kind and yet, um, you know, uh, but um

why?

Uh, because I'm friends with Marlene.

Oh,

and whatever happened to me.

Talk about me,

I mean,

wait, what did does she ever

when when did you last see her?

Oh, I haven't

I haven't had a chance to see her since I've been back.

Oh, are you and Marlene

pen pals?

Oh, uh,

hold on, Scarlett looks a little crestfallen.

Are you and wait, are you and Marlene?

Pen pals?

Oh, uh, we were

uh uh uh uh uh

corresponding uh before and I I

I think there must have been some miscommunication and I I thought that she left she dumped me.

Dumped?

Ya, yes.

Well, as a pen pal, you know?

I want you to be very, very, very.

You have to be honest.

I'm holding you by the chin, and I've got

just a sharp tool full of black coal powder very close to your eye.

Yes.

You have to tell me.

Oh.

Were you two involved?

I knew, I, I, I, no, no, I, that was not an admission of anything.

Yes, I, uh,

well,

we were, and I, and I, well, I assumed that you were friends with her, and I assumed that you were pen pals, and um.

Not like that.

Wait, why not like that?

Wait, why not?

What's wrong with me?

Married.

I knew it.

I'm so.

Is this what New York High Society is like?

Oh, I'm not a member of high society.

What?

You're here.

You're.

I.

And your.

Your friend sent me immediately to the kitchen to finish dinner.

Oh, God.

It's debatable about whether I'd call him a friend, but

we've been gone too long.

I know he said he had some big announcement that he wanted to make.

Let's.

Yeah.

Listen, thank you.

We can discuss this later, but if you

if you're a friend of Marlene's, I

would like maybe

in your next pen pal letter, you can uh

tell her that I'm

that I'm thinking of her.

And uh, Scarlett moves out.

Uh, she she clicks the compact closed and uh moves out back to the dining room.

Miss Peacock, I said, would you like a nibbler?

A a what?

I didn't.

That doesn't sound like a polite thing to ask a lady.

It's a type of chocolate that I've made.

Oh,

oh, yes, that's still a sweet.

Yes, that sounds delightful.

Yes, a sweet.

This could use a little bit of spice.

Have you considered using spices?

Oh, well.

Oh, all of you folks here in America.

It's a little much for you, I think.

At this point,

as you re-enter the room,

Body

taps on his

wine glass and says, Friends, thank you so much for joining me here this evening.

This has been a delight so far, and we have a whole evening left of

fine conversations, scintillating discussions about

workers of the world uniting in this collection of mine.

I am glad you could join me here because this will be the last salon for some time.

I'm going off to Europe tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning, I will get picked up and I will be on the freighter away to Europe for some business discussions.

So, thank you for joining me here on this last night.

I'm going to make eye contact with Rutherford and say, a business trip overseas.

How long will you be gone for, right?

Who knows?

I might pop around for a little bit.

And at this point, Colonel Mustard

stands up

and he says,

Rutherford,

I know what you're going over there to do.

And

I

can't condone it.

you're you're gonna go talk to to

Germany and and and maybe Russia and

and who knows?

I and and I

you don't know what I saw out there.

I was one of the only ones to survive in my unit and I don't want you making weapons like that ever again

Sit down, mustard

Listen, all of you here, enjoy the fruits of my labors.

The kind of business deals that I make when I go overseas on my little jaunts, and you know, we eat these fine meals and we have these lovely discussions about my collections, you know, by the grace of these, as you call them, terrible business deals.

I just turn, and now I'm just staring down Professor Plum.

I think Professor Plum just takes a deep sip of

liquor or liquor.

Mrs.

Peacock says, Are you offering?

Can I have whatever sub what do whatever you're having, dear?

Well, you'd have to talk to the dear Mr.

Green.

What can I get you, Mrs.

Peacock?

Whatever it is that he's sipping that seems so effective.

We have we have some uh whiskey in and we also have a nice bottle of brandy.

Yes.

All right.

Uh I'm gonna st I'm gonna stand up.

I listen.

Whom amongst you, uh you know,

has the fortitude to make these kinds of choices?

Hey, Rutherford, we we are no one's accusing you of

well, he sort of is.

This is not good for everyone's digestion.

Why don't we all move into a different room and let cooler heads prevail?

I was just about to go get the baked Alaska.

If we.

Amazing.

You know, I...

Okay.

Forget the baked Alaska.

We're...

Hold on, no.

Just...

Listen.

All right.

You're right.

I apologize.

This is no way to treat my friends.

Why don't we all take a moment?

Everybody find a room.

We're all just going to cool down a little bit.

And

at midnight, meet me in the lounge.

We're going to have brandy.

And we're going to have cigars.

And we are going to discuss my treasures.

And then in the morning...

After we've had our fill of good friends and good food and good conversation, I'm gonna go off to Europe for a little jaunt, and when I come back,

we're gonna celebrate again.

Do it all over again.

Another big fete of the Bonnie Mansion.

Rutherford, while we're getting ready for that, can I borrow you for a moment or something?

Absolutely.

All right.

And

at this moment, you can all head off to various rooms.

I think

Colonel Mustard, who had sat down after his outburst and

is clearly, this was very difficult for him.

He's shaken.

He moves off

and you see Miss Scarlett

sprints back over to the ballroom, towards the direction of the ballroom, and you can hear the piano start up.

And this time it is even, if possible, worse.

It is

clunky and loud, and it is clear that she's deeply affected by this.

Mrs.

Peacock shuffles over to the

possibly to the conservatory

and

mustard

seems to meander towards the hall.

Mrs.

White, where do you go to?

I immediately stand stand up, feeling a little like, no, the baked Alaska.

I worked hard on that.

No!

And in a sort of fit of pique, having fought this sort of warring feeling internally, I'm gonna head to the library where

the little scale model of the restaurant he wants to open with me is sitting.

All right, uh, Professor Plum.

Uh, I think think Professor Plum is gonna lift up his glass of whiskey and to no one, just

to your toils, Rutherford.

And then is going to uh

uh

finds the cigar in uh in his pocket for Mr.

Green, realize he has no cutter, and head for the kitchen.

Very good.

Well, listen, Cass, I'm I'm sorry, I'm just a little on edge lately.

I, you know, I'm not used to...

You're right about these government types.

I don't...

I wasn't really meant for this.

Rutherford, your lifestyle,

the things you get up to in your private life here in New York,

they won't hold up to the scrutiny that's going to be coming your way if you have multiple contracts.

The Ruskies?

Those commie pinkos?

You signed some kind of industrial deal with the Reds.

This...

Uncle Sam's going to come down on you like a ton of bricks.

Well, you know, I mean, I've got deals out with Uncle Sam as well, as you well know.

Rutherford, you've got to.

Look, I know I'm not your corporate counsel and I'm not sure what they're telling you to do, but

no.

No,

you know what?

Cass, you're not my corporate counsel.

And

I think you'd do well to remember it.

You know, it would have served your father well to do that with mine.

But listen, listen, I'm sorry to bring our old men into this.

Listen.

You and I.

Well, we're not like the rest of them.

You know?

We understand each other, and you know, I'll always take care of you in anything you need done, and to do that, I need money.

Alright?

You'll always take care of me.

I'll always have a

job.

Making making sure that the liquor cabinet is stocked and

there's no limit to the amount of popular musicians and beautiful women cycling in out through your life.

Exactly the lifestyle that every lawyer dreams of at Yale.

I mean

what a life, right?

You never thought that you'd be in the thick of it?

Partying this way?

I'm gonna bring my briefcase up.

My hands are kind of shaking.

I'm gonna open it and say, everything's prepared if you'd like to sign it yes yes yes um he reaches into he checks his uh coat inner coat pockets and uh pulls out a uh

a fountain pen

and uh you know without looking through it he signs it signs his name at the bottom florid signature Great, okay.

Um, listen, Cass, I'm gonna head on over to the lounge and uh arrange the items for maximum viewing pleasure.

You need to tell people.

And

my hands are shaking as I put the papers that have changed my life and made me very likely to one day be the wealthiest man I know.

As I shake and put them back in my briefcase, I go,

you need to.

to

it doesn't make any sense

for me to be your heir, Rudd.

I'm your friend.

I'm your I'm your conciliary.

I'm your

illicit gopher.

You're my best friend.

I know, and you're mine, Rudd.

You always will be.

But look, I'm telling you, ever since you let go of my law firm,

we have not been able to attract the same level of clientele.

I work with dangerous people.

I know, and that's how you have the best party.

What I'm trying to tell you, Rudd, is

what do you think?

If anything were to happen to you, and I were to actually have this legal document come into effect?

Do you know what would happen to my reputation?

The questions people would ask?

A man who was cut out of the legitimate business inherits it?

You'd have enough money that people wouldn't need to ask questions or wouldn't dare to.

But I'll tell anybody anything

if you want that makes you feel better.

I need to be out in the sunlight.

I need for people to know that I'm an honest man.

Right, all right, all right.

Yes, yes, all right.

Well, I'll take care of that, but listen, leave that for now, all right?

I can that can wait until tomorrow.

You got it, Rudd?

Yeah, all right, good man.

I think as he leaves the room, I go back to what Plum said: Rutherford's toils, as he talks about his

money,

and I think about my father's

name.

Not only did Rutherford obviously not build his fortune, his father didn't either.

And I think about

the hours I missed with my dad as he made another man's son rich.

And I think I feel something squeezing and tightening in my heart like something made of rope twisting.

All right.

So, during this time,

this entire time you hear the frankly offensive version of jazz going in the ballroom,

the entire time.

And as it nears midnight,

you will

all

of you, I suppose, would you like to move back out towards the

lounge to meet with Mr.

Body to have your

salon.

Yeah, I'll make my way over to the lounge.

Yeah.

I'm gonna swing by the kitchen and go touch the baked Alaska.

Like, let me be clear.

Yeah.

One big fork out of it.

You see, there's already a fork out of it.

Everybody's like a slice of a bacon.

Who did this?

I I don't care what he says.

I was excited for that baked Alaska.

Actually, that

like it drastically improves her mood.

That like other people came over.

It's not about the presentation.

Just enjoy it.

Okay.

All right.

So she came in to be mean about it and then saw that like some amount of other people.

Damn it.

Like everybody else said it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Actually, okay.

And she takes her little forkful and then heads over to the lounge.

All right.

Um,

so uh, as you enter the lounge, uh,

Plum arrives first, and then Cassidy shows up, and then Mrs.

White shows up.

And

as you arrive,

and as the clock strikes midnight,

suddenly

there's a clap of thunder outside in the blustery night, and the lights go out.

What?

It's.

I mean, electric

you hear two loud gunshots

coming from the study

Cassidy did not flinch at all at the gunshots

okay so screamed at thunder nothing but gunshots respect understood hear uh the music stop and you hear running from different parts of the house towards the study.

Oh, Clum looks at

Claw.

Oh.

Do we?

We have to.

Are the lights back on?

As you ask, do we, the lights come back on?

Oh.

Electricity.

I'm going to look at

the two of you.

We are all in this room experiencing this together.

That's correct.

You're all in the lounge and you hear a commotion coming from the study.

The study and I'm gonna dart out the door.

I'm just gonna yell, towards the gunshot!

Yeah,

I have the same thought.

Perhaps Mr.

Green is a man who moves toward violence rather than away from it.

Okay, okay.

I'm gonna look around in this room.

Is there a little fireplace?

Yes, there's a little fireplace.

There's a hoth, there's a polka.

I'll get behind you then.

Put one hand on your shoulder as we move slowly out of the room.

As we're leaving the lounge, can I have my eyes dart to the marble plinths that were in here earlier?

Yes, you can.

Wow, didn't even clog it.

You see

that

the rope, the knife, the lead pipe, and the wrench are all on their plinths, but that the candlestick and the

not a pistol, but

a revolver are missing.

As I'm darting out the door to run towards the study, we counted two shots.

There was a clap of thunder, and I'm just gonna go, Wyatt Earp writes again, and I'm gonna run,

run off towards the study.

Yeah, zero lack of self-present.

My God, an active shooter.

This is why we call you Green Knight.

So as Mr.

Green sprints towards the study and the two of you carefully make your way out, gripping Mrs.

White, gripping a poker,

you encounter the other three guests

going towards the study.

Mrs.

Peacock shuffling slowly.

Miss Scarlet sprinting,

sprinting on her heels, catching up to her.

And

Mustard, a man of action, but clearly not in the practice of running currently,

trailing behind them.

You come up to the study.

Do you open the door?

Who opens the door?

I'll open the door.

Why?

What?

I think

if you read Cass's face, hearing those gunshots, I think weirdly, Cass

on his face has an expression of horror and not of danger.

And

if you can read his, I don't know how well you can read your friend's face at this point, but I think he hears gunshots and doesn't assume it was someone shooting someone else

He's like oh, it's like running for like oh god did something like like we need to like he's he's assuming medical like that's what's going on with it

Wait, wait you open the door to the study, which is the hunting trophy room.

It's mahogany and you smell the old musty leather and you feel a disconcerting number of eyes on you as it is filled with the trophies of Mr.

Body.

It's horned elk heads, even a platform with a small white rhinoceros on it behind the desk.

There's a wall with ledges of different heights, each is a perch for a stuffed glass-eyed bird.

All of them feel like they are on you at this moment.

And sitting at the desk, slumped over with

a bullet shot

in his head is Mr.

Rutherford Q body,

and that is the end of episode one.

That was Abria Iyengar as Miss White, Lou Wilson as Professor Plum, Breton Lee Mulligan as Mr.

Green, and Eriki Ishii as Everyone and Everything Else.

Hint was edited and designed by Kate Sanders.

Music appears courtesy of artless.io and the Creative Commons and the great public domain.

Thanks for joining us here on the ghastly grounds of the Body Estate, but even even more wonders await you beyond the Vale on our Patreon.

Come and join us by the fireside, won't you?

We'll see you there.