Greece w/ H. Foley | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

You ready?

I'm ready, baby.

This is comfy.

This is nice.

How's that chair?

It's my favorite podcast chair of all time.

100%.

Okay.

I'm usually sitting like this.

Yeah.

I got another one to show you.

I might switch in.

I'll show you afterwards.

Even better?

Maybe.

It's lower, though.

Okay.

But I mean, I want everyone to be comfortable, and I picture guys like you.

Comfortable.

Yeah.

I picture, like, that's what you need.

For fair fans, you could fit on a fucking, you know,

on a needle.

I feel like I could have like a scotch in my hand right now.

I got it over there.

Talking about a, do you remember the two old guys?

The two old guys in the Saturday morning cartoons that were like safari guys?

Yeah.

And remember they had the map of the world?

This is what it feels like.

Yes.

They had those.

It was like a brandy that you could sniff.

Yeah.

With the old map behind us.

Yeah.

Maps.

Is that up to date?

Pretty much.

Yeah.

I had an old, old one in the other place, and then

it was like, wait, where's the Czech Republic?

Oh, Czechoslovakia.

I have one.

Look how big Kazakhstan is.

I know.

I have one in my room from my dad's office from Willow Grove Naval Base in the 90s with the Soviet Union.

Whoa, really?

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

I was in Vietnam.

And they showed USSR.

Oh, that's it.

Yeah.

I was in Vietnam and they had these old maps of China there.

And they're like, look at their Chinese maps saying that they do not control this territory.

It's like, that's them.

Now they're saying it is theirs.

And I'm like, whoa, you guys are

bitter problems.

Where Where you been and where you going?

This is our Reese Travel Show.

Yeah, we're going to talk about travel today.

It's you'll be tripping.

Yeah.

Welcome to You'll Be Trippin'.

Yeah.

The travel podcast.

I take you to a new place every week with a great guest.

This is the only podcast made entirely of Ukrainian refugee labor.

The guest today is H.

Foley.

Thanks, buddy.

Yeah, glad to have you on.

Yeah, Yeah, excited.

Where are we going today?

Where are you going to take me?

We're going to Greece.

Greece.

And you know,

you're my inspiration, my travel inspiration.

Because I never did anything like that ever in my life.

Really?

Never.

Do you remember when I texted you?

We hardly knew each other.

I texted you a picture when I was in Hawaii.

Yeah.

The first time I was in Hawaii.

Yeah.

It was 2019.

And we were walking through the mountains somewhere.

Yeah.

And it was like this trail.

And I had like the hat on and fucking, it was like, I felt like I was in fucking Laos.

And I sent you a picture of like, yeah, hey, where I'm at.

Yeah, you did it.

Yeah.

You got somewhere.

Got somewhere.

Never been anywhere.

Doesn't it feel good?

It does feel good.

I mean, like, legitimately, when you're like reach a foreign place, which Hawaii is.

It was to me at the time, yeah.

It's still, I mean, it's, it's not ours.

We've colonized it for sure.

But like, uh,

you just feel, I accomplished something.

Yeah.

Look at me in the middle of nowhere.

In the middle of nowhere.

And Greece, the one that we're going to talk about today, that was like the big one for me.

So before that, it was only, we went to Hawaii a few times

with my girl now.

I never traveled with any girls before this.

And then when we started, when we got together after like years of being together, because, you know, I had, you know, no money and stuff like that.

But even before we had no money, we would like go to Boston for a weekend.

We'd go to DC for a week.

And that's fun too.

Very fun.

Never been to Boston before.

Loved Boston.

We went up there multiple times on multiple weekends just in the winter.

Just like stayed in the North End, stayed in the Back Bay, couple of nice dinners, walked around, did some shit like that.

Loved it.

And then we slowly graduated to go into Hawaii in 2019 because that's where she's from.

So she'd been there before?

Yeah, she lived there.

She grew up there.

So now convinced you finally let's go.

Convinced me finally to let's go.

Yeah.

And before that, barely anything.

Nothing.

Never traveled at all.

Never even had the bug.

Never.

I talked to Sagalow and I think Cannon once, a long time ago, pre-panty at

Standup New York at Eastville.

And I was just talking about camping.

And Sagalo was like, I have no interest.

I'm like, really?

It goes, it doesn't, there's nothing in it that interests me.

So I think people are like that with travel too, but I want to be like, try it.

I went to Lake George for two weeks, camped with, because my college buddy's family had a house there.

That was all right, but not a lot of interest in camping.

Yeah.

But travel gets like that too, where people are like, I've never even thought about going somewhere else.

But then when you do, I feel like.

It feels great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So how come Greece?

We went to Greece because

I've always lived in Astoria, which is a predominantly Greek neighborhood.

It really is.

Best Queen's food.

Best Greek food.

And years ago, before I was a comedian, I dated a girl that lived on Dipmars Boulevard, and we stumbled across Cake Litis, Daverna Cake Clitis, which is like my favorite restaurant.

Where's that?

Little Greek place on Ditmars.

I think they have one here, but maybe I'm not.

They did.

I don't know if they still have it, but they did have one.

Right on 14th or something?

Yeah, I don't know if it's still there.

And then when Taverna Kaklitis, Taverna Cake Clitis.

And then when me and my girl got together, that was like our first date was out there.

We're like, maybe someday we'll go to Greece.

And then when I was up here to do comedy in 2013, my first job was a Greek place in the West Village, Snack Daverna, over on Bedford and Morton.

I love how

people

pick a country.

Like, it gets in their head.

Sure.

Like a weed.

The food, the this, that.

Yeah.

I just have a no interest in that.

Tons of interest in this one.

You're like, okay.

And then they oppose it for someone else.

Yeah.

So, okay, that's great.

And then the only other big trip we've gone is France.

Yeah, that's another time, another episode.

Yeah, we went to Paris at Christmas.

And everything I've been told my whole life about Europe and about all that stuff has been a complete lie.

No.

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Like what?

I mean, mean, I come from like, you know, a blue-collar family.

You know, we've down the Jersey Shore.

I think the only, the only big vacations we ever took was in 1989.

We went to Lake Tahoe to see my cousins.

Yeah.

And other than that, it's been the Jersey Shore or the Poconos or some off-brand amusement park.

And, you know, Europe's this and they don't like you and this and that and all that stuff.

Dude, when we were in France, it was like everything that I was told was a lie.

The food in Europe's better.

The The food in Europe is great.

That's crazy.

That's food.

Joe's great.

We'll do Paris next time.

They really got us.

But I do remember asking you, like, did you have trouble ordering English?

Like, no.

No.

They're all fine.

No.

I didn't speak.

I don't speak.

In France, I was able to, I knew a little bit to be like, hey, is it okay if we talk in English?

Right.

That's the only thing that I did.

But in Greece, I didn't know anything.

You can't.

No.

So I just used an Italian accent the whole time.

They did not appreciate it.

You're like, it's something foreign.

Hey, how you doing?

Brooklyn Italian accent.

Where'd you start?

What'd you do?

So this is what we did.

So it was my girl's birthday.

Nice.

We went on Labor Day.

We were there for a week.

And as much as me and my girl bicker and argue and stuff like that, when the rubber hits the road, we travel very, very well together.

Why?

There'll be an argument at the airport.

You know what I mean?

There'll be something to kick things off.

From what?

Tired?

Whatever.

You know, we both just have social anxiety, you know, getting on the plane, something.

She's fidgeting, you know, this and that and the other thing.

There'll be a little thing.

But once we get there, we're really, really good.

And we've been very lucky, even though it's only been a few times, you know, compared to the way you've traveled.

Yeah.

We always get real lucky with like, because we don't know anything, like, you know, neighborhood-wise, whatever.

So

pick a hotel, yeah pick a place pick things to do it always works out can i say i i've had i just like had a thought about this because when i went to southeast asia i was worried i'm like i don't know how am i going to meet people how am i going to whatever dude i was petrified to go to greece this chick i was dating she says any activity you do is going to be with a bunch of other people doing that activity who so you have some shared interest

or other travelers i my theory is no matter what neighborhood you picked it would have been great right you know everyone gets locked in.

I'm like, is this the right one?

Is this the right hotel?

And you're like, you're in Greece.

It's going to be great.

But I never wanted to be the guy coming back and like, because when we were going, oh, fuck that.

You're going to hate it over there.

It's all touristy.

They rob you.

Everything's expensive.

I never wanted to be that jerk off.

Yeah.

So, like, in my heart, I have like a traveler's heart.

I just never did it because I was, you know, lazy or broke or doing drugs in a room.

You know what I mean?

Oh, yeah.

But oh, yeah.

So we mapped it out.

So where'd you go?

We went to Athens.

So

we were going to Santorini.

Santorini is where we wanted to go.

Okay.

The island of the Isle of Santorini in

south of Greece.

Is nothing in the Aegean Sea?

Yes.

Is the population 4,500 people in the offseason by any chance?

Yeah, this is it.

That's Santorini.

So there's a bunch of islands down there.

Oh, Santorini Islands?

Santorini Islands.

There's a bunch of them.

There's what, Mykonos, Pyrrhos, all those islands down there.

But this one is like the main tourist spot.

Yeah.

Which

somebody had just gone and was like, you should go to the other ones.

It's a little touristy.

But we had had our hearts set on going to Santorini.

Santorini.

So we were like, fuck it.

You know, we're doing it.

And like, it has all those beautiful

white and blue buildings and all that stuff.

And it's built on, yeah, that thing right there.

Go back to that.

Boom.

That.

So that used to all be one island, a circle.

Oh, really?

And then.

Were the meteor hit?

No, volcano.

Volcano.

A couple of times.

But the volcano exploded

and it fell back in.

And then that's the caldera.

What do you mean, the middle?

Yeah, the middle.

Interesting.

I believe that's what it's called.

And then down there on the bottom

is an ancient city called Akrotiri.

This.

Yeah, that's like 10,000 years old.

So before anything, they were there.

Whoa.

We went and we saw those ruins.

Whoa.

Dude, really?

Fucking nuts.

Whoa.

And they were 10,000 what?

Like, I think like 10,000 years ago or 5,000 years ago.

And it

got knocked out once by something.

And then these modern stairs?

And then came back.

Yeah.

And you know what the crazy thing is?

When the volcano exploded, that's when it wiped it out.

But they didn't find anything there.

They only found like a couple of

like if you left in a hurry, they didn't find evidence of that they knew it was coming and they just dipped before it happened oh they just took off which they can't figure out how they how they did that and how they figured that out how they knew it was coming that the earthquake was coming and it's all in it's all in like you can when you when you're in the water and you and you look at the at the at the cliff yeah you can see the levels of like you know volcanic ash you can see you could see it's like a it's like a like when you cut open a tree you can you can see the ribbons

Of like the layers of it.

Of the layers of it.

It was the western wall.

You can see where they put garbage on it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, really?

Yeah, it was a trash dump by the Arabs.

No, shit.

They're like, this is important to you.

And it was up to like, I'd be like 12 feet high.

You could just see the garbage line.

Man, that's funny because when we were in Athens and we went to the Acropolis,

when the Romans took over, they had like up on top where the

Acropolis and what's the other thing called?

The Acropolis is on something.

Yeah.

Or vice versa.

Yeah.

I can't remember what the name of it is, but they turned the one thing that was like a temple to their gods into like a storage unit just to fucking, just like out of spite to the Greeks.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

But so we

mapped it out.

We planned it out.

We're going to spend a night in Athens.

Okay.

We're going to fly into Athens.

We're going to see the Acropolis.

Yeah.

And we're going to stay.

How long did you get for the whole trip?

I think we were there for like nine days.

Solid amount of time.

So we did.

You don't want to be in and out.

We did the first night in Athens.

Okay.

Stayed at this cute little hotel that was right next to it.

You could see the Acropolis and you could also see the, there's another little cliff where there's like from the bottom you can see right up it.

Yeah, like you were literally like looking out our window.

You could see the Acropolis and you look out that window and you could see

the

Cathedral of St.

George or something like that.

There's two little like little mountains that overlook

that overlook Athens.

It's crazy.

It's like Central Park, that whole mountain.

It's like in the middle of the city.

100%.

Have you been there?

Yeah, I just went.

Oh, you, oh, that's right.

Yeah, I ended my tour there.

Yes.

My European tour.

We were literally right there.

Yeah.

And

what we in France, we didn't really do anything like

any tour guides or anything like that, but we were in the airport at JFK.

Yeah.

And we were like, you know what?

We're going to get there.

We're going to do the same thing that we always do.

We're going to overeat.

We're going to go back to the hotel.

We're going to fall asleep.

Let's fucking get a tour guide and go see stuff.

It was like 400 bucks.

And after I did it, I was like, fuck, this guy doesn't even look at the fine print.

Like, this guy doesn't even come with us.

Like, he doesn't come up to the thing.

He just drives us around.

Turned out to be the greatest thing ever.

Why?

Because the guy was so local, knew everything, drove us right up to that.

I walked up that thing.

You went up to that.

Dude, I walked up that thing.

Wow.

And I was, I was.

That's, you got a picture of that.

Yeah.

You got to send me a picture of that.

We got pictures of that.

My girl has them.

But I was, I was 60 pounds heavier than I am now.

you walked all the way up and i walked all the fuck up it's hard it's all steps yeah it was brutal slippery as shit and i did it in slipper

you did it in crocs did it in crocs it was slippery as shit but it was nuts so i mean i mean the the connection when you see that or touch some of those rocks to like thousands of years ago it's nuts Yeah, it's absolutely nuts to think about people just living out their lives.

Yeah.

And then you're like, are we that?

Are we that now?

Will people look at us?

Will people be walking around, you know, Central Park and see like little bits and pieces of statues sticking out?

Wow.

They didn't have like neural links back then.

They just had these devices they had to hold.

Yeah, they were walking around like idiots.

Wow.

Walking around like idiots.

Hey, guys.

Let me just break in for one second.

All right, say that less Jewie.

Hey guys, let me break in for one second.

I got to tell you about H.

Foley.

First of all, congratulations to H.

Foley for fucking traveling, bro.

This is one of the reasons I do this podcast for guys like this who aren't like fucking hardcore, you know, adventurous, but are having an adventure themselves, just getting out into the world.

So it's great.

I got no tour dates to tell you, but H.

Foley does.

He's going on a tour with Are You Garbage.

First and foremost,

he's in Red Hook, New Jersey, the Count Basie Theater.

All these tickets are available at areugarbage.com.

You can also check out H.

Foley on that podcast, Are You Garbage?

I've been on there multiple times.

Don't believe the end where they tell you I'm garbage.

That's the fucking mainstream media selling a lie that's not true.

I have class.

I have class.

I have fucking class.

They're also doing a Route 66 tour, which seems fucking fun as shit.

They're all getting in a bus in September.

Chicago, St.

Louis, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Albuquerque, Flagstaff, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles,

home of the Los Angeles Clippers.

Check them all out at areugarbage.com.

And don't forget to hit subscribe right now to this podcast.

I'm trying to get to 100,000 subscribers.

And that's it.

Are you guys enjoying the new studio?

If you're watching it, it's built by

Toby Maguire, Toby McMullen, and Dees.

We had a fucking blast Monday.

I'll talk more about it in the outro.

That's it.

Subscribe right now.

Where you're listening or watching, legitimately, do me a favor.

Subscribe.

Leave a comment.

And don't forget to reach out to H.

Foley and let him know you had a good time.

H.

Foley Comedy on Instagram.

Follow him on there.

But leave him a message.

They just had fucking Luke Combs on their podcast on Are You Garbage.

That's fucking good get.

That's it.

Let's get back to hearing more about his adventure time in Greece.

Just to go back, as far as what I was saying about, you know, all this tour.

Yeah.

All this is new to me.

Never traveled.

Like the way the Greeks were, like, how like hospitable they were, and like just how everything is set up.

Like everything was like, you got the hotel, but like they did breakfast.

At the hotel.

But it wasn't like a holiday inn, like make your own waffle.

It was like a full fucking breakfast.

And everybody's running around in the black pants and the white shirts.

It's like you were in a Greek diner.

And like one guy did like everything.

Like he was the guy that checked this in.

He was the guy that, you know, served the breakfast and all that stuff.

Dude, it was nuts.

The food was insane, obviously.

Do you ever have, do you have Greek coffee?

Oh, yeah.

What is that?

I ordered it once, and then I'm like, I forgot.

I forgot.

Is that what it is?

Yeah, it's instant coffee.

Oh.

Yeah,

it's instant coffee, and they whip it up

and then they put in milk and ice.

It's strongish.

It's strong.

That's what I remember.

I used to drink it every day when I worked at the Greek place in the West Village because we would be out until like two o'clock in the morning, you know, doing spots or hanging out or whatever.

And I'd have to be at work at like 7:30.

And I would drink like four of those throughout the day to do it again.

Every time I'd walk out of the restaurant at four o'clock, I'd have a massive panic attack and then just keep moving about my night.

Dude, I love

every single day.

i love that um that they're all so hospitable so nice it was awesome yeah that is the worry you hear they hate americans here they hate americans and this and that you know what i've heard i've heard that for sure but i've also heard like americans tip when nothing's expected they just up and tip so they're like americans are coming we we're rich you would think yeah i mean i always hated european tourists when they wouldn't yeah they wouldn't when they come over here

Because I would always get,

they'd come into the restaurant before, the night before they left.

left so you would get like you would get tipped out in like silver dollars and change because they didn't want to bring that shit with them yeah so they would just dump that in the fucking checkbook what was the what was the greek food like it was unbelievable how did it compare to the way you worked tavernica cleitus uh tavernicacleitis is pretty legit uh snap uh or no tavernic eclitis isn't where i worked that was in uh in a story place i worked at snack daverna very legit yeah um

it's just the ingredients were just better fresh unbelievable tomatoes that have never seen a refrigerator, the best feta cheese, simple stuff, cucumbers, olive oil, salt, pepper, a little bit of fucking oregano, a little bit of red wine, vinegar, just knock it out of the park.

The fish was unbelievable.

The fish was unbelievable, huh?

Yeah, everything was unbelievable.

It's all so fresh.

It's all right there.

That's what I'm saying, man.

We don't have anything like that over here.

Maybe

on Long Island in the summer or like in August when, you know, all that stuff is getting a lot of people.

But like you see them on the ocean, like they're fishing for what we're going to eat tonight.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Oh.

Yeah, it was cool as shit.

All right, so tell me about Athens.

What'd you do?

Athens.

Okay.

We land there.

And again, not travelers, but we're just, you know, we get lucky and, you know, we just go with our gut.

So we flew into Athens.

We landed there 8 o'clock in the morning.

We have a ferry the next morning that takes us to Santorini.

Okay.

Down here.

Yeah.

Where?

Yes, yeah, that's where we are.

We're right down there.

So we're going to hop on a ferry down there in that bottom corner.

It's Santorini.

It's an eight-hour ferry, but it's like a cruise ship.

So the reason we did that is because I'm petrified to fly.

And Delta had a flight that went from JFK to Athens, but there was no connecting flight that took you to Santorini.

You had to fly like,

you know.

Fettiche's Airlines or something like that.

And you're like, this is up there.

And dude, I just, I looked at

what flights were available, and I was like, no, I'm not doing that.

Just like, you know, their, their safety history, which I know it's all just anxiety.

And I know that.

Sort of, right?

But also sort of like, well, I don't know.

A little bit, yeah.

But it's also if you're rolling the dice, you're rolling the dice anytime and thousands of people take those flights every day.

And United, those fucking, that, that door came off.

Alaskan Airlines.

Yeah.

And then they found out that like 10 other planes had that.

10 other Boeing planes had that.

They just didn't tell anybody.

Yeah.

That's why they're canceling all the flights.

Yeah.

Okay, anyway.

Yeah, the 737 Air Max, I think it was.

Okay.

Or 737 Max.

It's a major feature.

Door staying on.

Yeah.

Really wow.

That's not even a door.

That was just a wall.

Wow.

Just a wall just came off.

You imagine how freaked out you would be?

Imagine.

It's crazy how calm everybody looked.

Thank God they had their fucking seatbelts on.

Sucked.

You would have got sucked right out.

Sucked, dude.

Dude.

And you're alive for a couple of minutes.

You're going to have his shirt ripped off.

Nuts.

And so it's like, and it all paid for.

It's like, yeah, if you're.

how bad would that suck?

You'd have a heart attack.

You get that double seatbelt thing.

You'd be like, please hold.

Are these working?

I got six of them on

strapped in, baby.

Good luck getting me out of this thing.

It's nothing to me.

I'm just, I'm still eating.

We can smoke now, though, right?

That's allowed now.

You're taking your mouth thing off.

Just ripping a heater.

I think that if that happens, yeah, you should be able to light one up.

Yeah, good luck going down.

Good luck getting it lit.

Yeah.

But you're going down.

Yeah.

Excuse me, I don't want emphysema.

But that plane that just crashed somewhere

where

they were flying over like a

valley and it just went

and crashed.

You remember that?

It was a couple.

Was it in Greece?

No, it wasn't in Greece.

It was somewhere in Asia, I think, or maybe

not Myanmar Air.

Malaysian.

Yes.

No, it wasn't the Malaysian thing, but it was something like that.

It just cracked.

And it was like a little puddle jumper with the two propellers on the side.

That was also something that i wasn't getting into right i'm not getting into something like that i'm not so you're cool with a boat i was cool with a boat it was a huge cruise it was like a huge cruise ship okay

so we fly in to athens because you eat because you drink on the ship oh yeah

up the whole time nice there is nothing because you know we fly obviously a lot for

for for comedy and the way we do it at our garage all your garbage live shows on the road now that's right and so we fly in do the show wake up fly out do the show.

So we can never really enjoy the airport other than like a nice airport breakfast.

But man, when you're traveling and you're on vacation and you get to the airport and it's like nine o'clock in the morning and you have like an hour and a half before the flight and they're like, oh, let's get something to eat.

And then all of a sudden the light in your head goes off.

Like, oh, I can get fucked up.

I've got nothing to do.

Like, we can, if we have a six-hour flight,

we can start fucking drinking.

You could pass out in two hours.

You'll still be on the plane.

That is the greatest feeling of all time.

Because there is nothing better than being drunk on an airplane.

When you're snuggled in and like you hear the hum of the engines and you're 40,000 feet and you got Fargo on or you're watching the big Lebowski or something like that.

She's asleep.

You got your headphones on.

You're popping snacks, just crushing Bloody Marys and just knowing that like whenever I'm done, I can just fucking lay back and I'm out.

It's so much better to travel, to fly as someone with just a normal amount of money.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know how you were as an open micer.

I was so broke that when it was like, where they were like, do you want to, I'm like, no, I can't afford it.

It's like $8.

No way.

And now it's just like, yeah, you can have a couple of drinks.

It's not a big deal.

Not rich shit.

Just normal shit.

Give me some snacks.

The last time I was on a plane before we started doing good with R Your Garbage, I flew down to

the Laughing Skull Festival in Atlanta.

I did that one.

I somehow

found another comic down there that I could stay with.

The dude let me stay there.

I had no money.

You couldn't even afford the hotel to give you a rate at.

Yeah, and I flew back and I didn't have any money to get home from LaGuardia.

This is when I was living in a story on Ditmars.

I walked from LaGuardia all the way home because I had no money to take like, I like, I didn't even have money for like the subway.

Took me three hours.

I thought it was going to be like 20 minutes because it looks so close.

It does look close.

I had to walk across the Grand Central Parkway.

Like a fucking immigrant

trying to run it and walk your bag.

no there's like one of the

waiting waiting i think we're good i think we're good like why did i pick a turn to do this

and then walked and walked all the way back so yeah having a little bit of money you know because like we're doing good now but we're doing like what normal people our age it's just like it's just catching up to normal yes and you're like can you believe i i was with renozizi at a yankee game once and it rained And I was like, oh, let's get ponchos.

And they were $10 or $12 disposable.

And I was just like, I can afford a poncho.

Yeah.

A $12 poncho when it's raining.

Yeah, it feels nice.

Especially when you're traveling to be like, ah, fuck it.

It's fucking Walmart greeter level of money.

Yeah.

It's not a lot.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just like, yes, bring me the hummus

snack pack.

Yeah.

Oh, I love a nice snack pack on a plane.

Snack pack.

Love it.

Yeah, because I go full meal.

I'm like, give me just a bunch of snack packs throughout.

The only thing I hate on the plane is if you're going somewhere, like when we fly Hawaiian Airlines,

I'm expecting, give me a little taste of the island.

Give me a taste.

Yep.

A fucking tortellini and a red sauce?

What are we doing?

What are we doing?

Fuck anything.

If you're going to Greece, get me started.

If you're coming home from Greece, get me started.

Okay, get me started.

Let me finish.

Burger before we land?

Fucking Sagadaki before we take off.

Sorry, me and Kippie always talk about the burger on Delta.

Good?

What?

Oh,

fucking turn your life around.

I'll get it.

Do yourself a favor.

Really?

They're the best.

Okay.

It's a shitty, it's a good shitty.

Shit burger.

Yes.

I like coffee on planes, and I shouldn't because I like upscale coffee, but I'm like, it does something to me.

You know what I'm doing now that I get older?

I love coffee with my meal.

I know that's a very old man.

Yeah, they say tea because coffee shouldn't go with meal.

Nah.

It's great.

Coffee and a burger.

Oh, what?

Oh,

not with breakfast, you're saying.

Oh, yeah.

I'm talking with like dinner.

Instead of afterwards having a coffee.

Instead of after.

Have it with it.

Because when you watch old movies, all the old rich guys, they're all drinking coffee during the meal.

Like if you watch Dairobe Blood, he's having a coffee.

Whoa.

It's nice.

It's nice.

So, so, back to

tires matter.

They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road.

Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack.

Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, Tire Rack makes it easy.

Fast, free shipping, free road hazard protection, convenient installation options, and the best selection of Bridgestone tires.

Go to tire rack.com to see their Bridgestone test results, tire ratings, and reviews.

And be sure to check out all the special offers.

Tire Act.com, the way tire buying should be.

So our plan was we fly in, we get there in the morning into Athens.

Let's see Athens for a day.

We had done some research.

We had talked to a couple of people.

They were like, you want to do, I think Mike Feeney was the one that told me this.

Okay.

He was like, you know, Athens is great.

Get Mike Feeney on.

Yep.

You want to do it for a day.

You know what I mean?

See the sites and then get out of there.

You got to see those sites.

Got to see.

It's an unbelievable thing that everyone's heard of since you were four.

Yeah, I mean, I was a terrible student in school, but I knew about, you know, the Greeks.

The Colosseum,

the Acropolis.

There's a few places on the earth.

Yeah.

You know, the pyramids.

That you got to see.

And so we did that.

So we went to the hotel.

We dropped our bags off.

We met the tour guide.

He took us right to the Acropolis.

And he's like, you know, you might have a little trouble with this.

I'm like, all right.

Looking at you, you mean?

Oh, yeah.

There's no tram.

They didn't have that technology back then.

Hey, Fed, you want a Snickers bar?

Mercury just fucking run you up there.

Did you get Snicker?

Yeah.

And it was brutal.

It was 700 feet up there.

And I just really took my time.

It was slippery as shit.

But once you get up there with all those buildings up there, you're looking around and you're like, God damn.

And like, that's what it looks like now.

Like, how the fuck did that last that long?

After all those thousands of years.

I mean, look at these pillars.

Yeah.

They're still like ornate.

You know what I mean?

They're still like, you can see them.

It's crazy.

And how long did it take to make them?

How long did it take to make that?

Was that slave labor?

And this whole fucking forb?

I can tell you that.

Yeah.

That's all up there.

Yeah, that's all up there.

It's still there.

Look at these fucking chicks.

And all those things are like outlines of like buildings that used to be there.

What do you mean?

Like those stones along the things there.

Like this?

No, in front of it.

This?

No, when you pull back a little bit.

Okay.

Like that shit.

Oh, this.

Yeah.

So it was a whole city?

Yeah, I mean, it was something.

Look at the view.

Was the view up there nice?

Yeah, dude, it was nuts.

You just get up there to see all of Greece, huh?

It was all of Athens.

All of Athens.

And Athens is dirty.

Like, dirty.

With the graffiti.

I loved it.

It's a...

I didn't understand this because also I thought all of Athens was this.

But it's a anarchist city.

You're walking around in the anarchist city.

Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, and it was all graffiti all over the walls.

The subways, full graffiti.

But it was so charming

in such a weird way.

And like in our hotel,

he called them.

Jesus.

They called them

wedding cake

architecture.

So all the buildings and all the apartment buildings are like wedding cake architecture over there.

And, you know, you know what I'm talking about, the way it looked.

Like, you look like you're in like Lebanon or something like that.

You know what I mean?

I see what you're saying.

The stackups.

Yes.

Look at that.

And right across from us,

these guys,

as we were going to bed at like 11 o'clock, were setting up DJ equipment on the roof.

And I woke up to piss at three o'clock in the morning, and there was a full-scale rave going on across the street

on this roof.

It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen.

It was a great attitude.

Instead of like, what the fuck?

Oh, no.

I mean, when you're doing that stuff, you got to roll with it.

Yeah.

You know?

So we woke up in the morning, got into a

cab, like a regular cab.

That's my only thing.

If, if,

you know, I get to a place where I can't get an Uber or something like that, I'm going to be a little, because I don't love public transportation.

The Ubers were fine.

This cab that we got was like something at a Jason Bourne.

The guy was like...

maybe 10 years older than me.

He was about 400 pounds.

He had glasses that were thick as Coke bottles.

And it's a half an hour ride from our hotel to the port.

We did it in about 10 minutes.

Because he fucking did it.

It was six in the morning, and dude, stick shift.

Just

windows are down.

And we're both sitting there.

Me and my girl are looking at each other, like, did we say something?

And we just went with it.

Got there, got on the boat, and the boat

was just like a little cruise ship.

We got a little room.

And the reason we did that was because

of the flights and because of, we're like, when are we going to be in the Aegean aegeon sea again so you got a room in it so we got a little like a little like a little cabin in it yeah it was hard

dude people were like sleeping out in the thing oh yeah oh it was brutal we got first class wasn't much more yeah but it was like a little nice wasn't just chairs it was like tables yeah we saw those cabins you took a ferry too not to there to a different island okay yeah so that's so i know what you're talking about it's great blue star or whatever it may be yeah blue star um nice little like you know restaurants and lounges and stuff like that um the yeah the cabin wasn't great but we're

yeah it was a place to go

put your shit down so one person have to stay if you're going to the bathroom my biggest thing is fucking gypsies and uh pickpocketers and all i tell you like you know the n-word is terrible um everybody racism is wrong

there's no pushback to the racism against gypsies in europe they all fucking hate them brutal they're not like well you know they're all people they're like fuck them get them out of here in scotland in spain they're like fuck them.

Yeah, well, they're robbing you.

Publicly.

They're robbing you.

They're robbing everybody.

That was my biggest fear.

So that's why we got a thing.

So we knew where our bags was and stuff like that.

Got bags that had locks on them and all that stuff.

And I was very over, you know, over-anxious about all this.

Yeah.

But we wanted to take the ferry because it stopped at the different islands.

And it was just, you know, nice to look out the window.

Like when you pulled up to the first island.

I got this driver's name.

I want to find it, but go ahead.

When you pull up to

the

other island, you walk out onto the deck and you're pulling up and looking at a fucking ancient island.

It's pretty cool.

So that took eight hours.

So you kept stopping at places.

We kept stopping at places.

That's a pretty cool way to see it, though.

See the ocean.

That's almost like a trip you would do four hours out of four hours back.

Yeah.

Just a fun eight-hour trip.

It was nice.

We flew back.

We ended up flying back because we got like a it was like Aegean Airlines, which they had like good

safety records and stuff like that.

Plus, I wasn't doing that ferry ride again.

We did it, buddy.

But pulling into

also, somebody said that if you take the ferry, because we watched like a bunch of YouTube videos and stuff like that, if you take the ferry, the 20 minutes pulling into Santorini is worth the eight hours just because it's so beautiful.

Just like, like, dude, it's a cliff.

And this, these, these little towns in Santorini are built in the cliff.

Like, the one place, um,

I want to say a Moody Bay or something bay

over by EA.

It looks like a Disney attraction.

It's the only place on the island.

So

the part of the island that faces the caldera

is literally like that.

That's it.

Yeah, that's it.

So, dude, right there.

Wow.

That is all built into the side of that cliff.

Yeah, dude, look at that.

No fucking way.

Dude, it's nuts.

That looks like a Disney.

We ate literally right there on that little thing.

What do you mean?

Look at it.

A little restaurant.

Yeah.

And then above that

is Ia.

And it's all built into the side of the cliff.

And you see what I'm talking about?

You can see the different levels of

sediment and stuff like that.

Wow.

Yeah.

It was like walking into Pirates of the Caribbean or something.

See this shit?

Yes.

All that stuff.

There's the octopuses hanging up.

It's great.

Drying in the sun.

Right next to the safety of water.

Just dried them right above that.

It's like putting you in prison right next to your mom's house.

Almost made it dog.

You can smell her cooking.

Yeah.

So we get there.

We got an Airbnb.

Shake it off.

Yeah.

We got an Airbnb.

We had the whole house to ourselves right on

the northern tip of the island.

We had the best view of the sunset on the island.

We had a private pool.

No, really?

Literally on the cliff.

It was unbelievable.

This shit is wild.

Dude, it was great.

Never seen anything like that in my life.

Gorgeous.

Look how clear the water is.

Nuts.

It was like that?

Love that.

It was just like that.

Wow.

It was gorgeous.

Yeah.

I only went in the water once, though, because there's not a lot of beaches on that island.

It's rock, right?

It's rock.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And to get to the beaches, you either have to walk like really down, like to me, a treacherous walk to get to the ocean on the other side.

Yeah.

Or you have to get there by boat.

So what did you do?

Relax, ate, drank.

So we,

like I said, well, first of all, we get there, we pull in,

and my radar's up of getting robbed, of getting this, of getting that.

When we were in Athens, I bought like a little pocket knife just in case it was, just in case I had any trouble.

Yeah, dude, I'm an anxious guy.

So we pull into the port on the thing, and

we're not waiting for a bus or anything like that.

So I go up to this guy.

It's like, hey, I want to ride.

Looking for trouble?

I go up to this guy, and like, it's like a parking lot, and like everybody's going different places and all that stuff.

And I see a dude in one of those Mercedes vans, and I'm like, How much to take us to, you know, this place?

And he's like,

35 bucks.

I'm like, all right, cool.

So we get in, put our bags in there, and he's not going.

He's still standing outside the door.

And I'm like, what's going on?

He's like, oh, I got to get more people.

And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

So already I'm like, nah, nah, nah, we're not doing this.

I'm like, no, how much it just take us?

He's like, $100.

And I'm like, fine, let's go.

Don't care.

Okay.

You know what I mean?

Great.

I get it.

We get in the car.

And so it's like a crescent moon island.

Okay.

Just for the people that haven't been there.

It's a crescent moon island.

There's two like big towns.

There's Ea, which is a little bit more touristy.

And then there's Thera.

Yeah.

Okay.

Which is a little bit more locally.

All right.

Yeah.

So

there it is.

So Thera would be like in the bottom, like right on the inside.

And then like here.

yeah and then ia is up there

yeah ia is up there we stayed just a little bit north of ia to the left

we were right there

dude we were right there it was nuts wow it was nuts

so

we say to the guy all right yeah take it take us over by ia we're driving and you go everything there's nothing in the middle there so you have to go to the other side of the island the back side of the island that's where the highway is to get everywhere.

Yeah, do you go around that?

That's where the airport is.

Yes.

So you go around that to get there.

Wow.

We get in the theater.

Is it ancient thera?

Yeah.

Okay.

We get in the car.

We're driving.

And we're on like, you know, and the only thing I have compared to is movies.

So do you remember in the beginning of The Godfather 2 when they were the funeral procession was going over the rocks?

No.

In the very beginning.

It was just all rocks.

Okay.

It was just all dust and rocks.

And there was a little hut.

like it was like something out of Star Wars.

Like you'd see like a little clay hut or a little this or a little that, but it was nothing.

And we're on this like abandoned road and we're driving.

And all of a sudden, this guy just stops and pulls over.

So the knife came out, and I just had it like down here on my thing.

This is like a little pocket knife.

It'll do it.

This guy would have kicked the shit out of me.

He would have looked at it down there with him.

Pulls over to the side, and all of a sudden, another car pulls up behind us.

And I'm like, fuck, fuck.

This is it.

And I am freaking out.

And he just turns around and he goes, so

my shift is over.

Okay.

We're going to switch drivers and he's going to take you there.

And I'm like, what the fuck?

I thought for sure they were kidnapping us.

But this is me being the over-anxious, pussy American.

But it's also like, we don't have anything like that here.

No.

I've never heard of that.

What?

Even the shared cab.

It's like, what do you mean waiting for people?

Yeah.

Dude, can you imagine being on the subway and it stops in the middle of the thing

and the conductor's like, all right, guys, that's my shift.

And another guy got on and

finished the ride.

Freak out.

But dude was cool as shit.

Got in, took us to the place.

The place was awesome.

Only thing, they don't throw the toilet paper in the toilet.

They don't throw the toilet paper in the toilet.

Oh, I got to ask you about toilets.

That is how many times did you fuck up?

Not that bad.

Okay.

Because luckily, I had just started my, I had kind of just started the Ozempics,

maybe for like, I think, two months, and the side effects were really starting to set in.

So I didn't shit like most of the time that I was there.

Lucky for them, I could have ruined the island.

What, uh,

what, um,

okay, so you got to throw it in the trash can.

Throw it in the trash can.

How's that with a chick?

I mean, she was doing the same thing, and somebody came every day and took it out.

Oh, they did.

Yeah.

I just, I've just, every time I've been with a woman in a place like that, I'm like, I'm not letting her see my fucking toilet paper, my dirty toilet paper.

But everybody does it.

And you've had to been in so many places right now.

I have.

Where that's the norm.

You know what I did in Ecuador?

What?

Took it with me.

Rolled it, rolled it, rolled it, took it with me, threw it outside.

All right.

But sometimes I'd forget and I'd be eating a restaurant or something.

I'm like, oh, shit, I still got a fucking wad of shit paper in my.

Are you kidding me?

No.

How many wipes do you, dude?

I would never be.

Mine's like a duffel bag.

Yeah, it's a lot of wipes.

Oh, God.

You wouldn't smell that through your sweatshirt?

Occasionally, yeah.

Dude, you're worried about the girl scene that you're eating with fucking with shit paper in your.

Looking back on it now, it's not the best.

Oh, dude, that's brutal.

But here's the thing.

But you did it.

Yeah.

Again.

It's just hard because where does it get, but you get used to it?

Well, go ahead.

It's never that bad.

It's never that bad.

They do it.

They do it.

They do it.

It's not like you're like, hey, for the only people on earth are going to have to deal with this.

It's like you go to Bottom Row and Bottom Row and they were like, can you believe these people camp here?

I could never be a a gen pop.

I'm like, well, 80,000 people are.

Like someone can do it.

It's never that bad.

The bathroom did smell a little bit like sewage.

Yeah.

Like the first day.

But also it all does that, right?

The bathrooms.

They all just kind of have that volcanic ash or not quite clean.

It's a watery kind of smell.

Yeah, you couldn't drink the water.

Couldn't drink the water.

It's also things you used to, right?

You got to get used to that.

Again, here you go.

Lied to.

Those European bottles of water.

They're all right.

They're ice cold in the fridge, too.

Yeah.

And they're weird looking.

They're different than our water's.

What do you mean?

I love this.

I don't know.

They just look weird.

The shape different?

They all look like orangina bottles to me.

Oh, yeah, up and then curved.

Yeah, they're strange, but they were great.

It's like, you know, Icelandic this or whatever.

Yeah, I love those little cultural observations you can make where it's like the street signs are in a different font.

Yeah.

Or the background color is different.

Or right.

Or the water bottle is shape different.

The water bottles are weird.

And their water bottles, the caps, stick to the water bottle.

Like if you, when you pop it off, it stays there because they don't want it probably getting

dirty.

No, they don't run away.

They don't want it, yeah, they don't want for like recycling and littering purposes.

They really, man,

they really are ahead of us with a lot of that stuff.

Yeah, no, you know, no

hormones and antibiotics.

Everything is just you feel good, right?

Yeah, it's crazy.

You feel good.

You're not, and you're not eating like salads.

I mean, it's a Greek salad, sure, but like you're not eating salad, you're eating restaurant food.

You're on vacation, and you're still feeling good.

It felt great.

It's nuts.

Bundle and safe with Expedia.

You were made to follow your favorite band and from the front row, we were made to quietly save you more.

Expedia, made to travel.

Savings vary and subject to availability.

Flight inclusive packages are adult protected.

Charlie Sheen is an icon of decadence.

I lit the fuse and my life turns into everything it wasn't supposed to be.

He's going the distance.

He was the highest paid TV star of all time.

When it started to change, it was queer.

He kept saying, no, no, no, I'm in the hospital now, but next week I'll be ready for the show.

Now?

Charlie's sober.

He's going to tell you the truth.

How do I present this with any class?

I think we're past that, Charlie.

We're past that, yeah.

Somebody call action.

Aka Charlie Sheen, only on Netflix, September 10th.

Tell me about some of the food.

So the food was unbelievable.

So we get to Santorini.

First of all, they lay...

stuff out for us.

Eggs on the counter.

Red flag right there.

They don't put the eggs in the refrigerator, refrigerator, but why?

Because they don't bleach them, they don't wash them off, yeah.

So we didn't touch them, but

yeah, we had a lady where we were staying on our windowsill one day.

Was like, what the fuck?

Just 12 eggs.

Yeah, I'm like, oh my god.

So she's like, man, we've got tons of chickens

when you crack them open, they're the most golden eggs you've ever seen in your life.

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean,

yeah, not yellow at all.

Yeah, it's nuts.

We've been lied to the whole time.

We've been lied to.

I mean, it's really darker than that.

Yeah.

Unbelievable.

it's tough to point to india and say darker than that it sounds a bit racist

ladies and gentlemen

hosts do not stand by these comments in any way um so the first thing we did was we went to a moody bay so we walked down there and and the steps were brutal it was it's all walking

and

unless you're taking a car yeah you're really jammed up so

jammed up you can't get anywhere Oh, right.

Especially if you're fucking 400 pounds.

You rented a car?

Didn't rent a car.

I'll get to it.

Okay.

You ready?

So we walked down to

we walked down.

We're right at the at the tip of where you walk down to a Moody Bay, walk down, and I see that and I'm like, holy shit, man.

That's when it like hit me.

Where you were.

Yeah,

all those things up against the wall, up against the cliffs.

And that's the only place, that's the only place that's like that on the island where it's lower.

Everything else is up top.

And I was like, holy shit.

Walk up to this restaurant, sit down, order a Greek salad, order some taramusalata, which is like the salmon dip.

That's good.

Oh, it's my favorite.

All the dips are so fucking good.

Dude, I knew all the food from working at the restaurant.

And

I probably put on 60 pounds when I worked at Snack Daverna.

That's how good the food was.

And I just peed it.

The garlic dip, the eggplant dip, the salmon dip.

Alexana salata, taramu salata, tzatziki, saganaki.

Saganaki, dude, is my favorite.

Dude, the Greek salads, the bareckis, all that stuff.

Saganaki is just a block of cheese that's kind of congealed, but also thork.

Most people use kefalatiri cheese with a little, it has a little dusting of flour on it.

They fry it, and you hit it with lemon and some chopped up tomato.

God damn, it's good.

It's a good night.

I'm a huge fan of grape leaves.

It's just so good there.

You get to hear sometimes.

You're like, all right.

But there, it's like, what the fuck?

You like grape leaves?

Love a grape leaf.

Dolmade?

Love them.

I probably ate about 4,000 of those when I was over there.

Finger foods.

Just crushing them.

So we get there.

We get some prawns.

We get all that stuff.

We load up.

We eat.

Feel great.

And so

I'm a lot like my dad.

Like any reaction.

No, we're not.

We're not doing that.

We're not doing that.

But my girl's a little bit more adventurous.

Okay, good.

So we're seeing these like doom buggies everywhere, like little like ATVs.

You're seeing ATVs and we're seeing doom buggies where like you get in, but they're like little tiny cars.

Okay.

You know what I'm talking about?

But they have a cage.

Yeah, they have a cage, like a little doom buggy like that.

See if it pops up.

Exactly.

No fucking way.

No fucking way did you take one of these.

So listen.

Zero chance.

Zero fucking chance you got in one of these things.

Zero chance that I would ever say yes to that.

Insurance purposes, getting injured purposes.

Fitting.

I don't trust myself fitting in it.

This chick barely fits.

I don't trust myself to drive this.

And no, we're not doing that.

And whatever.

So that night, we want to go up to Ea, which is close to us, but it's a hump.

And we walk up this mountain.

Like it felt like a mountain, but it was literally just an incline all the way to EA to get to where

all the all the like the white and blue places are.

Okay, on top.

Pull up EA.

Not those ones up top on the right.

The ones up top there on the right.

These.

Yes.

Up there.

So the whole thing up there,

it's all connected.

It's all walkways.

There's no streets.

And it's all like made out of fucking marble.

Really?

Dude, it's nuts.

Walk down.

Look at this.

Walk down steps.

Oh, I.

Steep steps.

Walk down steep steps.

You got to go all the way around that swimming area.

Yes.

Getting around was brutal.

If we didn't get this thing, we would have had such a miserable time because we wouldn't have gone anywhere.

You ate at places like this, right under the water?

Yeah, I think that's exactly where we ate.

We sat literally right there when we were eating the first night.

It was unbelievable.

And like people are rolling in in little boats with like bags of fish and like walking them and handing them to

the restaurant owners.

They got the fish all laid out on ice.

The beers are ice cold.

What was the beers?

Do you remember?

Fix.

I'm a big Fix guy.

Love a Fix.

T-H-Y.

F-I-X.

F-I-X.

Yeah.

Good

Greek beers, like pills.

So all that shit.

Love a local beer.

Love a local.

What do you guys drink?

Love local beer.

Like, you know what?

I fell in love with.

It's not that it's local, but from going to Korean barbecue is

acai or acai.

Yeah.

Dude, the super dry.

Yeah.

One of those screaming cold.

They've gotten me off of IPAs to go lighter beers.

So all that stuff up there up top.

Yeah.

It's all marble.

It's all shops.

It's all restaurants.

And then as the tiers go down, they're all little hotels.

So all those little spots there have like a little baby pool or like a little hot tub.

And that's what people

look out over the water.

And you look at that.

The whole thing is looking out over the caldera.

At sunset, boats roll in, and it's like the sun's like from here to that light.

And you're just sitting there watching this thing go down.

It's nuts.

And we got to do it in our pool at the Airbnb.

It was awesome.

Wow.

Coolest thing ever.

So normally

when we go to places, she's like, I want to rent a car.

I want to do this.

And I'm like, no, we're not doing that.

And it's a fight and it's this.

And I was like, you know what?

Fuck it.

Yeah.

Walked up to Ia that night and was like, we're not doing this anymore.

Next morning, we got up.

We went to this rental place.

Give me one of those.

No fucking way, dude.

Give me one of those.

I'll send you a video.

No fucking way.

Dude, I'm telling you.

Oh, my God.

It'll take me a minute.

I don't know if you want to.

Here we could pause.

What the fuck?

No fucking way.

Yeah, hang on.

How did it drive?

Dude, it was awesome.

Okay, here it is.

You got it?

Dude, zipping around.

No, it's like a big golf cart.

What?

Yeah, it's like a big golf cart.

That looks so fun.

Dude, it was fucking the greatest.

Open air, warm.

It was one of the best.

Dude, you look like you're having a blast.

It was one, and I never have a blast.

You look like you're on top of the world.

Top of the world, baby.

Had my girl with me, zipping around this island.

Never, never, never, never, never.

That's the thing with travel that's opened up my eyes.

I'm always so resistant to that stuff.

And then when I get to the top of the city, I find getcha.

That's how they get you.

No, I'm not getting ripped off.

And then I get into an accident and, you know, this, that, and the other thing.

Or if I get a ticket and I did get a ticket and all I did was give them 40 bucks when I turned the car and they're like, we'll take care of it.

Cool as shit.

Wow.

Drives around the whole island on that thing every day.

Got up,

parked right out in front of the Airbnb, hopped in that thing, drove over to Thera, drove that thing over to the ancient ruins at Akrotiri.

Yeah.

Oh, really?

On the highway, just fucking, and dude,

you're going like 40 miles an hour.

Dude, it was just so cool.

Went all around the island in that thing.

The thing about cars, though, you can stop wherever you want instead of like public transportation or like a driver or a, you know, or something where they take you.

Yeah.

You can be like, oh, that looks good.

Let's just pull over here.

It was like our second to last.

Get some ice cream.

Second to pull over, grab some ice cream.

Let's grab a coffee.

Yeah.

You forget.

You can just do that with a car.

Especially, you know, I know how like Kevin and I are, you know,

with, you know, stand-up and, you know, you're, you're, you know, you're so focused.

We got to get there.

You got to get there and you're focused.

And like every day it's this.

And you're never really winning.

You're never really feeling like you're winning.

But when you have those moments where you're like oh fuck let's stop and grab a coffee we can stop and grab a coffee i know that sounds crazy yeah to most people but you're just you don't think that way i get it and when you can just because also you already you're already you're going you're headed somewhere but you're already there when you're driving to like oh hey i want to go to these ruins but you're really already there already the drive is part of the trip yeah drive is part of the trip so it's like the ruins is kind of like today's destination but really it's if we

got sidetracked we never made it no big deal having the freedom in that little cart to just fucking pull off.

You see, like a sign that said, like, some other ruins that way or some like quarry.

Like, you want to check out the quarry?

Whip around, go up.

We did that every day.

And we were driving, we were like the second to last day before we left, I hadn't been in the ocean.

Yeah.

And I was, and we were driving back, and I'm like, because it wasn't really any, any, there wasn't like a beach scene or anything like that on that island, really.

And I was like, you know what?

Fuck it.

Just fucking pulled off, drove all the way down, down this like private driveway, made a left, made a right, fucking got to the ocean.

There was one other couple out there, like doing the same thing.

Walked down, ripped my shirt off, and just jumped in the AGNC.

That's fucking awesome.

For like two seconds and then got out.

That's fucking awesome.

No, but you touched the water.

Something touched my foot.

But literally, just, and you know, she was standing there watching me.

I just jumped into the AGNC.

Yeah, when are you going to?

Ancient ocean.

Yeah.

Very ancient sea.

So Hercules fucking went.

Yeah.

Getting laid down there.

He was doing all right yeah Brad Pitt

knockout back then

he's a 10 now he was a 40 back then are you kidding me didn't have leprosy he's probably cleaning up yeah it was nuts it was nuts it was such like a freeing like emotional thing how'd you feel awesome just getting that thing dude the whole time I'm so sorry I can't believe that I was such a dick about this this is the greatest thing ever because I am so like that all the time.

With like, no, no, my instinct.

No, we're not doing that.

We're not doing that.

It's crazy.

We're not doing that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And when you let go, it's fucking, it's when fun shit happens.

Damn.

Pretty cool.

Yeah, very cool.

Now, the food, knockout,

just unbelievable.

Everything that we talked about, simplest stuff.

Fried sardines, fried anchovies.

Fried sardines and anchovies, yeah, which I would never want.

Dude,

a little bit of lemon, an ice-cold beer, knocking those things back.

Uzo?

Oh, after every fucking meal, an ouzo and an espresso.

What's that red?

Nice drink.

It's like light.

You drink it before dinner or just.

An apparole spritz?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I love those out there.

Yeah.

And apartif.

Apartif, yeah.

But the ouzos, when they give you the little bottle and you just keep like filling it up for yourself, it's chill.

Oh, they're over ice, right?

Yeah, they do Uzo over ice.

i was always a sambuca guy sambuca okay so i just use uzo the same way which is basically the same just the flavor is a little bit different just like a licorice liqueur but that pour it right into the double espresso

knock that back that's another thing too over there espresso after lunch what are we doing over here we're running around yeah these people got it figured out

We got to go back over there and take over Europe.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Take it over.

Dude, that sounds so fucking cool.

This whole trip sounds so fucking cool.

Dude, it was awesome.

It was awesome.

The salads were unbelievable.

Feta cheese, a little bit of dill, a little bit of olive oil, a little bit of salt and pepper, and this old bread that they made croutons with, that was so good.

It was almost like...

Did they serve it as bread or just no?

They served it crushed up into the salad.

All that, all like that peasant food kind of stuff.

Man, it's so good.

Yeah, I bet you get down too with food where you're like, let's eat.

Let's have a fucking good time here.

We're never here.

Yeah, we were going nuts.

We had like two dinners every night.

That was the thing.

We were just talking about this the other day because me and my girl went to Cape Cletus because we were doing something over on Dip Mart.

And I was like, my biggest regret about

I was mad at certain times when we go to a restaurant and I was still kind of full and couldn't really do the damage.

Yeah.

It's almost like you look back and you see like, well, like the Romans and the Greeks were like binging and purging.

Oh, the vomitoriums or something.

Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong.

You got to eat.

Got to smoke up a little more room, go right back in.

And then head right back into the restaurant.

That's my tip.

I'll ask you for a travel tip in a second, but that's my tip for Mexico City.

One taco and go.

One taco and go.

Oh, sure.

You're going to be like good.

Let me have three.

Like, then you're going to find another fucking good truck.

You're not going to be able to do it.

Yeah.

No, yeah.

During the day, we were doing that, but then overindulging in dinner.

But yeah, a little taste of this, a little taste of that.

Try the gelato here.

Grab an espresso there.

Try one of these cookies here.

Espresso after lunch, Ari.

Good idea.

Espresso after lunch.

Not dinner.

Can't do dinner.

I'll be up.

No.

But after lunch, that's fine.

That's the right time.

A little espresso, a little double shot.

Double shot.

Yeah.

Now let's go out.

Let's go.

Not get back.

Chick loved it.

Loved it.

Loved it.

Yeah.

She was blown away.

Yeah.

Loved it.

So I'm saying you're definitely set

thumbs up on this trip.

Thumbs up.

And so then what you took the plane back and then flew home?

No, then we took, so we stayed there.

Yeah.

You know, we stayed there for how many days, five, five, six, seven days, whatever it was.

And then we flew back from Santorini to Greece and then stayed one more night in Athens.

Got another hotel.

Didn't go back to the same hotel, obviously, but in the same kind of general area.

We got back there,

and that whole day we just went around to that

open-air market.

You know what I'm talking about?

It's like in the middle of where like the Acropolis is.

It's like looking down.

It's like open.

It almost looks like

Union Square.

And it's a bunch of shops.

It's a bunch of this.

It's a bunch of that.

Little restaurants.

Maybe.

And all that shit.

Walked around all that.

Walked around the ancient graveyard for a while.

Yeah.

Had a nice dinner at like a local place in Athens that was probably the best food that we've ever had.

They had these little anchovy fillets that were like cold.

And like, it was like, dude, again, it was just like olive oil and lemon, dude, putting that on bread with a screaming cold beer.

Yeah.

And some dude was like playing Greek music in the restaurant.

Oh, it was awesome.

It also doesn't, to me, I didn't say you tell me, but it didn't feel like it was put on for tourists.

It felt legitimately authentic.

Legitimately authentic.

Like when I went to Stav's podcast and he has that background of a Taverna with the ocean, and I'm like, I love it.

This is just the experience.

He goes, oh, yeah.

Everyone who goes to the islands, it started with Greek tourists.

Yeah.

Just like on vacation, like we go to Wildwood.

Yeah.

You know, it's for people on vacation, but not like tourists.

Yeah, not America, not like American tours.

That just has to be.

So they're not doing like a luau, which is also fun, but like they're not doing these normally.

No.

You know, but this shit, yeah, I feel like they're having that.

This is just a Friday to walk in.

Yeah.

People are gorgeous, too, in Greece.

Little hairy.

Well, it's hit or miss.

It's hit or miss.

Either they're knockouts or they look like me.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But yeah, I think Stop's actually going to go either way right now.

We're going to see it either really going to that creepy Greek dude or like still lovable.

Stop's a good-looking kid.

What are you talking about?

He's got great.

He's got two ages is what I'm saying.

Oh, sure.

Stop at 45 could go one of two different ways.

I think he's going to look fantastic.

Any like any tips you would have given yourself before you went?

And you would give to anybody else?

Like, make sure to bring, I don't know, flip-flops.

Again, I never want to be, you know, that guy because I know that I'm not

a traveler.

But specifically with this trip,

I mean, honestly, get a car, I guess, is one, yeah, get that, yeah, get that buggy, you know what I mean, and zip around, um,

but but no, you know, it just,

you know, it worked out, it worked out, uh, any regrets?

Wish I had no, no regrets, you know, um,

when we got there, I got like maybe like 700 bucks and had a little bit of cash on me, used the card for everything else.

You know what I mean?

They do like cash there,

They do like cash there.

That's what I, that's now thinking about, that's a tip for I would give anybody to go to Greece.

I always tipped in cash.

Yeah.

Always put it on the card.

I heard one lady go like, put a card says, no, no, no.

You just wave it off.

A lot of places didn't want to take American Express.

Right.

But that's because.

Fees or something.

No, American Express doesn't fuck around at all.

Like you can, they'll just cancel the payment.

So if they're trying to do anything shifty,

they don't want to deal with American Express

because they're brutal.

But yeah, I paid for the meal with a credit card and

threw a 10 or a 20 down for the tip.

As a waiter, that's always what you do, right?

Always, yeah.

Tip cash.

I mean, no, not

here, but like in that situation.

I do it because I don't want because that doesn't show up on the credit card.

What doesn't?

The tip.

It takes like 24 hours for that to appear.

So let's say the bill was $100.

It only says $100.

That's it.

And then the next day, it's, oh, it's $1.30 or, you know, whatever.

So just, I was just doing it to keep my keep my ducks in a row.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Dude, that sounds fucking amazing.

It was awesome, man.

And I really mean that when I say that you're one of the people that really inspired me to

do that kind of shit.

I love it.

It's like I'm not ready to ride an elephant through Vietnam or whatever the fuck you're doing.

Thailand.

They play harmonica.

It's great.

Very humane, I heard.

Didn't that happen?

Didn't like Louis Anderson or something like that see you like riding riding like a giraffe through South America or something like that like Ari?

I've run into random people sometimes.

I was in the church of the Holy Sepulchre and my brother was like, oh, I came here yesterday while I was hanging out with my old rabbi.

He was like, so I already saw this.

I'll wait in line if you want to like walk around.

And I did.

And then turned the corner.

Tom Rhodes is like, Ari?

What the fuck are you doing here?

That's nuts.

That's nuts.

The church of the Holy Sepulchre.

Yeah.

Isn't that like the

Knights of the Temple are and shit like that?

Yeah, they do all that shit where they're, yeah, they're dressed like that.

They're just weird.

Where they say, like, that's where, like, the holy grail is and stuff.

That's where Jesus was, like, his, his tomb is.

They have the stone where they washed him.

Really?

Yeah.

They have all that stuff there.

Old ladies crying, touching it, crying.

No kidding.

I put a cross on it because I wanted to get something for Steve Simone.

He's real religious.

I was like, he'd like this.

I might buy him something.

And then Tom was like, no, no, go.

I was going to get a fridge magnet.

He goes, go get a cross.

I'm like, where did I get?

They're selling him out there.

You touch it on the fucking stone finger.

Jesus, number one.

He goes, you put it on the stone, it gets power.

Really?

And so I did.

Everyone was doing that.

Gave it to him.

He gave it to his mom when she had COVID.

They told her she's not going to make it.

She's not going to make it.

And then right then, those whatever treatments they had in Florida, they just passed that as legal.

Turned her around.

She goes, it was the cross.

No way.

Yeah.

She goes, already did it.

I'm like, well,

if you're going to get rid of her meat, you got to get some Jesus some credit.

This is in Jerusalem, right?

Yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

But she was back in Florida.

But like, I took it home to him.

Man, that's crazy.

Israeli food's top shelf, too.

Another time.

Anything down, anything

over there,

it's all overlaps.

Yeah.

The Greeks, the Turks, the, yeah, it's all banging.

Hey, come back on this for Paris for sure.

But another time, if you want to interview me about a place because I'd love some of these.

Yeah.

Okay.

I'd love that.

You are, you are the travel guru of the comedy world.

I don't mind that.

I don't mind that.

Don't trust the drink around me, but trust me on travel tips.

Thank you for having me, buddy.

Yeah, H.

Foley, check him out every week on All Your Garbage

and

with Kevin Ryan and Toby.

We built this whole studio.

We designed it together.

Looks great, man.

This is awesome.

Yeah, where are you on Instagram?

At H.

Foley Comedy.

H Foley Comedy.

On the Graham.

Buddy.

Love you, pal.

Love you, too.

Love you, Bandit.

Yeah, snoring.

Peace.

Well, guys, that's the episode.

I hope you enjoyed it.

I know I did.

Dude, just seeing him, how happy he was on that dune buggy,

I mean, it just made me laugh.

And I'll be honest with you, when he said that I'm the reason that he went to Greece, that he went traveling, yeah, that made me feel good.

You know, I'm getting a lot of in the comments on YouTube.

Make sure to leave your own comment.

It's people going, you've made me want to get out and go.

Or, I plan,

I bought a ticket to India because of this podcast.

Leave more of those in the comments.

Hit subscribe right now.

Youtube.com/slash at UB Trippin'.

We're also on Instagram at ubtrippin' pod where we put up the pictures of the guests every week and some clips.

Go to that.

It's fun.

It's a fun follow.

I'm on Instagram at Ari Shafir.

Foley is at H Foley Comedy.

F-O-L-E-Y-C-O-M-E-D-Y.

Does someone who's garbage spell it correctly like that?

I don't think so.

Today's studio was built by Toby McMullen.

We had a fucking blast designing it, you guys.

We decided we really wanted a fucking hangout vibe, and we met for two months, two or three months, just like brainstormed ideas.

Yeah, everybody fucking reach out to Toby and tell him how fucking great it was.

I gotta fucking find his Instagram.

He's gonna be on this podcast a couple times.

One we did about Scotland when he was in fucking high school, I think.

And then another one was he interviewed me about Thailand, about a full moon party in Thailand.

It was actually pretty fucking good.

Toby McMullen.

Oops.

Yeah, at toby.mcmullen.

T-O-B-Y.M-C-M-U-L-L-E-N.

Yeah, let them know you had a good time.

I mean, you enjoy the fucking studio.

So, all the episodes now are going to be in this studio moving forward, unless they're remote or in Austin.

I'm still going to do some from all over the world when I meet people and I want to do them.

I try to do them in fucking weird places.

I have a couple coming from Australia

in front of some fucking sick graffiti with Luke Hege about New Zealand and another one with my friend Ethan McKenzie about me and him took a trip together to a small town in Guatemala for some festival.

We met there in Guatemala and took it.

So we'll be doing that.

It's also from Gold Coast Australia.

I got one coming with a comedian Berlin comic Romanian named Dragos from Romania.

We did it about Tokyo.

I'm trying to think where else.

Anyway, that's it.

Next week, fucking Rob Goddamn Lowe's in the podcast.

Tell us about Egypt.

And he also covered a little bit about Jordan and Israel and just travel in general.

That's a fucking wild one.

I had no idea.

When they told me Rob Lowe wanted to be on this podcast, I was like, all right.

Does he get the idea of it?

Bro, that guy is a fucking traveler to the goddamn core.

That guy fucking ruled.

So that's next week.

Hit subscribe so you don't forget.

Hey guys, nothing's going to bother you if I hit the subscribe button.

What do you think is going to happen?

They're going to fucking get your information and fucking rob rob your bank corrupt.

I don't think so.

And as always, the Patreon keeps going.

I'm trying to fill up this whole fucking wall with your postcards from around the globe.

I've been getting them and I've been really enjoying them.

Half of the Patreon is patreon.com/slash you be tripping.

Is reading your postcards.

This one is from Ireland, which is good because I just did an episode in Ireland with Greg Fitzsimmons and another one with Dan Saint Germain.

There we go.

Can you see it?

I think you can.

What does that say?

Ring of Bayra, West Cork, Ireland.

Cool.

We got the fucking postage and everything.

Senator Joe.

You be trippin', pod, 151, First Avenue.

That's the number one.

First Avenue, number 49, New York, New York, 10003.

Ireland is great.

He said, are there two stamps on either side?

Oh no, that's part of it.

Ireland is great.

Top five English-speaking countries.

Oh, interesting.

Let's do those.

US, Canada,

Ireland, England,

Belize.

What else?

What else is it?

Australia?

I mean, how many English-speaking countries are there?

We got to look that up.

We got to look that up.

How many

English,

not Tahiti-speaking

countries?

Okay, here we go.

List of countries of English-speaking countries by population.

List

United States.

Okay, India is an English-speaking country.

Suspect,

Nigeria,

Pakistan.

These are all suspect now.

The UK, Philippine.

No, they speak Filipino.

Fuck off.

Eligible population.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

English-speaking countries.

Not taking that one.

Okay, okay, okay.

Netherlands?

No.

No, no, no.

I want the actual English-speaking countries.

How many countries?

67 countries speak English as Maine.

What?

What are the top five English-speaking countries?

United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, South Africa.

Interesting.

English-speaking countries list.

Okay, here we go.

This is fun.

United States, Canada, sure, sure.

Top top two.

Canada's got to be up there.

Ireland, Malta.

Wouldn't be top five.

Jamaica, Barbados, Trinidad, and Tobago.

Do you speak English?

That's right.

I went.

It was one of my two countries this year.

My next will be doing the election.

I'm gonna get the fuck out of Dodge.

Kiribati, that's gotta be number one, Kiribati.

All right, I'm getting bored with this idea.

Let's get back to the postcard.

Um,

top five things been in countries, weather sucks, but people are friendly, and the food is seasoned.

Would returned, would return.

What a trip it's been.

Keep on tripping, Crispin, and the view towards the Skellig Islands from the Ring of Bear, West Cork, Ireland.

Nice, bro.

I'm gonna put this up.

Here's what I liked about fucking Foley.

He went to a.

He went to a tourist destination, right?

He went to a fucking tourist island.

Something I would not go to.

In fact, I went to Greece and I did not go there.

I took a lot of advice from Stavros Halkias, who has said he'll come on the podcast as soon as he's back in New York, which is like

end of the summer or fall.

But he got such a fucking joy out of it.

It's kind of like Thailand.

Thailand I count as like a little too touristy for me, but also don't forget, it's fucking foreign as shit for anyone who doesn't like travel a lot.

And there's places in Thailand that are way off the beaten path.

And also, even Chiang Mai and Bangkok are fucking wild.

It's just very set up for tourism.

Which

is good and is bad.

But for a guy like Foley, or maybe you.

Out there, you want a place that's a little set up, you know?

I took a trip in East Timor.

I was in Dili.

I heard about a fucking waterfall somewhere.

This guy, found out later, he was working for the Peace Corps.

I just wanted some fucking tourism to his village.

Put up a sign in my hostel in Dili saying there's a waterfall.

Got there, met the guy, cool guy, helping them grow fucking broccoli.

Should I go over?

I should keep straight lines.

This is going up and down.

It's gonna be tough.

I'll go over here.

Nice.

It's growing, everybody.

It's growing.

Send your postcards in.

You don't have to be a patron.

I read some of them on here, and I read most of them on the Patreon.

But also, why not sign up?

What we're going to do is on the Patreon.

I'm sending somebody around the world.

Once I get to 2,000 subscribers, then we're going to have a fucking figure out who.

Somebody.

It doesn't have to be a Patreon listener, but somebody.

We're going to figure out.

We're going to send them on a year-long trip around the world.

Southeast Asia and South America, probably one of the two.

They're not going to be living well.

They're going to be doing it the way I did, the way people I met did it.

But anyway, he still got that adventure from fucking being out there in the world, and that's what I fucking loved.

I love that fucking enthusiasm.

I get it too.

I get what he was saying about not wanting to get scammed.

Like, I don't want to pay for the Doombugging.

But then just...

putting a little, you guys don't understand to be a comedian, we're so poor for so fucking long that it's like, I can't afford a doom buggy.

That's fucking $20 a day 30 a day and you gotta eventually tell yourself no we're good um

anyway guys thank you very much for tuning in today's episode studio was built at toba mcmullen uh and d's um

um who built the ubi uh army garbage uh studio mine is a lot less space than theirs

and we did it in an apartment we did it really for a hangout vibe uh we've got a lot of episodes coming in.

People are now starting to do what I was hoping.

Celebrities and comedians, and just like lots of people go, oh, I know what that show is.

I've listened to it.

I watched it.

I have a story, a travel place that I really want to tell you about.

Instead of just, I want to do your podcast.

It's, oh, no, no, no, I've got something perfect for your podcast.

I'm going to go back on Are You Garbage?

It's been forever.

It's produced by Your Mom's House, edited by Alan Caffey expertly.

I hope you enjoyed it.

If you're not watching these on YouTube, you're missing out.

he puts in all these fucking cool pictures and stuff from these guests when they have a trip to take and then also I get to like look up on the computer it's different than it was in the studio

that I had private previously and it's just richer and it's a fucking better watch Spotify is unchanged it's gonna be awesome no matter what no matter what you're listening

it's just an extra bonus thing if you're watching that's it guys please subscribe do me a favor before you leave if you're listening right now hit us hit the old subscribo

And,

but that's it.

I'm really enjoying this.

I hope you are too.

It sounds like you guys are.

I read the comments on YouTube for the first 24 hours and respond to them.

Trying to make jokes.

All right, guys, until next week with Rob Lowe.

Wait, how do you say goodbye in Greece?

I have a thing right here.

Oh, I gotta do a fucking commercial.

Goodbye

in Greek.

Okay.

Kafata.

Goodbye, Jauntily.

Avrio.

I'm reading that fucking thing.

Gafata, everybody.

Until next week.

Bye.

Oh, gefata.

When I say bye, I already said it.

All right.

Enjoy.