Mexico w/ Josh Wolf | You Be Trippin' with Ari Shaffir

Carlos don't egusta la because pega todo.

When gabi organizón via expivia to be sorry and invito, he doubted.

Así quarregua netel with alberca panoramica.

Y pasaro nuna semana en elagua.

Vives para tener las cosas a tú gusto.

Vivimos para yo darten contradun lugar en la playa con alberca quascada, tina y una regader encreible.

Expivia, vivimos para biajar.

As you've gotten older with your stand-up,

what has changed the most for you?

Why you're telling something?

Is it not just to be funny?

Has it changed for you in that way?

Yeah, so it's like it's like Duncan said this once about the woke,

terrible word, but like

the LA comedy scene.

And he goes, it wasn't, first it wasn't enough to be funny.

They also wanted to be messianic.

They also wanted to start this crazy hashtag or do whatever.

But then eventually the messianic part outweighed the funny part.

So, so but our school was always like, be funny, be funny.

And it's like, all right, now you pretty much know how to do that.

Yep.

So now what, don't leave that behind.

That's the basis.

You know, like a microphone.

I need a microphone.

We didn't start with microphone.

Someone's like, we don't have one for you.

Yep.

You're like, I guess I'll yell.

You know, coffee shop shit.

And now microphone is set.

So like, no, what kind of different things can I do with this microphone?

I can hit myself with it.

I could yell and scream and take it away and whatever.

So the funny is always there.

And now, all right, on top of that, what?

And I went to Edinburgh and they were all doing these stories and these like themes.

It was like our

Edinburgh, what I heard, and I actually told my agent, I said, I'd like to do it.

He said, it's no pay.

I go, yeah, but you get to.

No pay.

It's not about that.

No, but you get to do an hour of a more of a piece.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So they're willing to go with you because it comes from that.

They're willing to go with you in a thing.

But this guy, Steve Bougea, did a a thing about picking up his friend, his chick friend that he always had a crush on.

So that's like in there, but she's getting married.

She goes, hey, if you're coming from that, could you pick my father up and give him a ride?

Sure.

He's been in prison for 20 years.

This is his first time out.

This is true story.

Yeah.

And now I have a road trip with this guy who's like, hey, stop here.

There's a whatever.

And he goes, that's a rest stop now.

He's like, I'm seeing the world.

What's a CD?

Didn't know what a CD was.

It was 10 years ago.

That's a crazy story.

Yeah.

And then just like, and he goes, and by the way, I know you're thinking, what's he in jail for?

It's like,

he should have been in there.

Yeah.

Bad things.

Like, like, it's a bit frightening.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was cool.

But that was like a chronology thing.

Other people, like FinTaylor, did all about like white people, and then he did another one about like the Me Too movement and like South Park covering every angle on it.

But it's a, everything's themed.

It's not just like I'm telling.

No, they have some guys just doing jokes.

Yeah.

Sometimes the theme is a little under, just kind of like Oasis's

first album was about trying to become rock stars, but it wasn't that heavy-handed.

And the next one was about being a rock star.

But it wasn't like that in your face.

Some of them are just like, it's there, but it's not that in your face.

I'll tell you.

You just learn them all.

You see them all.

It's like the Beatles in India, where you're like, oh, new.

Okay.

By the way, the Beatles in India songs are maybe the only Beatles songs I don't like.

I'm like, is that a sitar?

Meow, meow, meow, yeah, dude.

The George Harrison, I'm like, I get a little flu influence.

Those are the only ones I'm like, I'm going to fast-forward past that fucking song.

Yeah,

I have really

loved.

I have never watched so much comedy as I have in the last two or three years.

Well, it's so accessible now with the internet.

And then you see people doing different things.

It's kind of invigorating.

Very.

This thing of like, I don't want to watch people because I'll get influenced.

Like, that's done.

You know your jokes.

You know everyone else's.

At this point, you know what's about you and your kid.

I only did that.

I did that with,

I can tell you, I did that with Louie early on because I knew we were both talking about kids.

Oh, right.

And

I never wanted him to hear him say something and be like, well, now I can't.

Right.

Or I never wanted to hear him say something and then write a joke because it happened in my life and be like, wait a second, is that seed in there behind you?

Yeah, you'd rather, let me develop my own.

I might do something nearby.

Yeah.

I would rather just, if some, because everybody, we have shared experiences.

Yeah.

So there's some shit there.

Yeah.

Fatherhood.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's some, like, I'm not the only person whose kid challenged him to a fight.

Right.

Yeah.

Won, by the way.

Nice.

Congrats.

Let's start this.

Okay.

Where you been and where are you going?

This is our Reece Travel Show.

Yeah.

We're going to talk about travel today.

It's you be trippin'

yell.

Hi, everybody.

I'm trying to just not announce Ray Voice.

This is what I usually do.

Hey, guys, welcome to this.

You have a natural announcer.

I used to say that in college, people are like, you should do radio.

You're like, are you calling me ugly?

Yeah, I don't know what you meant.

Yeah.

Remember Wayne's World?

Guys, it's a travel podcast.

I talk to different people every week about a different place they've been.

It's the only podcast.

It's been recognized by the ASPCA as a family-friendly, I'm sorry, animal-friendly podcast.

We won the highest award for the water buffalo in East Senegal, where we were called

Too Helpful.

Too Helpful.

Yeah, we were fucking them.

Oh, yeah.

Josh Wolf is on the podcast today, someone I've known since my open mic days in comedy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For sure.

The Novel Cafe.

I have a decent memory of the Novel Cafe.

You also, to me, were the first person on the internet that I knew that was pushing the envelope in a huge...

Where, like, this is in the bumfights era.

Yeah.

But you were the first comic on there who was pushing an envelope that none of us were even close.

It's early internet.

Very early internet.

But you were definitely doing things that I was like, oh, he's going to get punched in the face.

I did.

Did you?

Oh, a few times.

During like amazing racist sketches.

Yeah.

Yeah.

People would punch me before they realized.

Because also back then, the internet wasn't a thing where you could sniff out.

Wait, is this, is there a camera?

It was pre-hidden camera.

Yeah.

It really was pre-hidden camera.

So it really was just like

no one would think to look for that.

No, but they were like, is this dude just a fucking asshole?

Yeah, right.

I mean, I had an Amtrak employee stop his car, pull up.

We were just doing a setup scene.

Yeah.

Me and a clan outfit crossing the tracks to the bad side of town.

This guy fucking stops, gets out, fucking throws me against it.

And I'm like, no, no, joke, no, choke, I'm a chill.

He's like, what the fuck?

You should know about it.

I'm like, no, no, no, it's not even that.

I'm not even in them.

Yeah, and trying to explain.

I like that you pointed to your nose, dude.

That's the tell.

That's That's the tell.

Can I, you know, I have, so I'm Jewish, right?

Okay.

I have people say to me, oh, you don't look Jewish.

And I'm like, the book's not supposed to mean.

By the way, I take it as a compliment.

I'm like, oh, I know what you mean.

And thank you.

It is a compliment.

It's a compliment to you, insult to the race.

That's exactly what it is.

I'm like, I'm going to say thank you because I think that's how you meant it, but not to everybody else.

Yeah, you're smart for a black.

Okay.

The a black is

a black is the new, it's so, it's, it's so much

meaner instead of like, he's black.

You're like, you're a black.

I don't know why that sounds so much harsher.

It's so much harsher.

It sounds worse.

Because when you say you're a Jew, nope, totally fine.

You're a Mexican.

You're an Asian.

Yeah.

You're a black is like

so much harder than

all of those.

It really is.

Yeah.

I don't know if it's the hard K at the end.

No, maybe it's the hard K, the beginning of the, the, the beginning.

The last K there is the beginning of the K of the triple.

You're a black is like, yikes.

I, I, I, yeah, I

remember the early internet you

and

I also like early internet.

I was like, well, this is as far as this is going to go, right?

That nobody's ever going to.

It was just no rules.

Early podcast was like that, too.

It was like, do whatever you want.

Now it's like studio.

This is a show.

What was the impetus for your, the, the amazing racist?

They called,

these people work for National Lampoons, called a store, said, we're thinking of doing this sketch.

Called The Amazing Racist.

It's just a playoff the word amazing race.

Do you have anyone that's like Jewy looking?

Or something like that?

And they said, Jeff Ross.

Not Josh Wolfe.

Yeah, not Josh Wolfe.

Jeff Ross goes, no, I'm busy.

And I was working as Duncan's assistant then, Tankwin, and I was like, I can do it.

And they're like, all right, it was no money, really.

I think it was like a grand.

And then I met with them and I was like, oh, I get what you guys are going for, but I'm like, what?

And like,

let's go for it.

They had these like light ideas about like, all right, it'll just be like, you saying a couple of racist things.

I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Sure, that's fine.

Then the joke is just amazing race to amazing racists.

Like, let's make it live on its own.

Where the

takeoff of Amazing Race doesn't even, you're not even noticing that.

And, like, we went door to door selling like dogs at a Chinese restaurant and, like, oh, they're just the worst possible stuff.

Like, let's fucking go.

And they're like, okay.

And then we just went.

And then they were like, well, we'll rent a clan outfit for you.

We'll rent a.

You're like, I got one.

That's why I don't waste this much.

This one's got the.

Yeah, it was fucking nuts.

I do miss those days

where

it felt like the Wild West.

Yeah, it really was.

There was no rules.

And also, like, justmeet.com was on there.

You could see death videos.

You could see Kirk Coban's autopsies.

You could see people getting hit by trains.

That was.

Yeah, it was like there are no rules except Noodle.

But even on the other sites, Noodlely was fine.

Pre-YouTube.

How old are you?

50.

So you...

You had a VHS of Faces of Death passed to you, right?

Somebody else's house, but yeah.

But that was like at the time.

Faces of Death for the Your World.

That was, I remember the first one of those where I was like, are they beating a monkey in the head right now to eat its brains?

That, yeah.

Yeah.

Now, I don't know how, honestly, because at the time it was so out of.

Yeah, I wonder what it'd be like now.

I honestly, I don't remember all of it.

I remember saying we got a, um, we gotta,

we gotta go to a country in a second.

But I remember seeing the beheading video of, I forget his name, Epstein Einstein, some, some reporter in Afghanistan.

Yeah.

And they beheaded.

And the beheading wasn't like, like you thought, where it's like, like that machete, you just chop, roll.

Yeah.

It was like, ah, yeah.

Ah, and then like 5% of the way, and then keep going until eventually he's dead.

That was a rough one.

Yeah, I saw it once.

Same thing with Mr.

Hands

with the horse fucked him to death.

So I was like, whoa, and like, watch it back.

And you watch it halfway to the second one, one, watching, you're like, oh, actually, that just, that just went inside.

Yeah.

I'm disturbed now.

I think I'd be more desensitized to it now because since that time, we've seen so much.

We've seen so much.

Awful shit.

Yeah.

But that, I do remember that one.

Hey, guys.

I'm going to break in real quick to tell you a little bit about the guest, Josh Octavius Wolf.

Yeah, he's got a great podcast called Hey Man.

It's available on his YouTube account, Josh Wolfe Comedy.

And it's also got a great tour going on right now.

But today's today's a very special day because Josh has a new special out right now.

It's the biggest time of the year, probably in a two-year period for a stand-up comedian when they have a special out.

His new special, the Campfire Special, is available right now on YouTube at youtube.com slash at Josh at

Josh Wolf Comedy.

That's it.

YouTube.com slash at Josh Wolf Comedy.

The Campfire Special, please go check it out right now and tell him that you're glad he's out of a

Tijuana prison and he made it out safely to do a great stand-up comedy special for you guys on the number one platform for stand-up comedy specials, youtube.com.

Uh, Josh also has a great tour going on right now.

Um,

uh, oh, Prana's in there.

He is appearing.

All

dates are available at comedianjoshwolf.com.

He's appearing at

Kimmel.

He's in Las Vegas tonight.

He's in Eugene, Oregon.

How do I do this?

San Francisco, California, Cobbs on October.

Jimmy Kimmel's Las Vegas in October.

Batavia, Illinois.

Las Vegas, Nevada, back at Kimmel's.

Spokane at the Spokane Comedy Club.

What a great club that one is.

And what is it?

Back in Las Vegas.

Oh, he's in Las Vegas a lot.

I get it.

It's like a residency of sorts.

Isn't that cool?

A residency.

Punchline in Philadelphia, pennsylvania uh back at kimmels in las vegas i guess it's a residency like i said montville connecticut at uh comics mohican son um

left boston in november that's a cool one that's a good those good guys over there royal oak michigan um

las vegas boise illinois the knitting factory i've been there it's a solid club i saw a guy there I saw a guy there completely shatter his leg and then didn't feel it.

Me and O'Neill saw him.

It was fucking wild.

He snapped his leg right in half.

It was just hanging like Anderson Silva.

And he was like, oh man, I'm going to miss work tomorrow.

I'm not even supposed to be here.

I called out sick.

I'm not going to be able to go in tomorrow.

They're going to know.

The paramedics came.

They said, sit down.

He goes, I don't want to hardly be embarrassed.

I'm like, buddy, you got to sit down.

That was wild.

Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Omaha, Nebraska at the funny bone, and that's it.

Nope, San Diego at the Comedy Store, December 26th.

All tickets, again, are available at comedianjoshwolf.com.

I have nothing to promote except this podcast.

Please subscribe wherever you're watching or listening.

Hit the reminder button as well.

Do me a favor.

I know you haven't hit subscribe yet.

Some of you, 100 and something thousand people have.

Why are you not one of them?

Hit subscribe right now.

Also, you can go to arishair.com or if you're on YouTube, look below for a bunch of merch.

Stay positive, sure, which is the main message for my special America sweetheart.

You can check out that special on Netflix right now.

My other special, Jew, is available on youtube.com.

It was called by the New York Times.

Other specials appeared this year on YouTube.

Thanks for the support.

Dave Chappelle came up to me out of the blue and said, I heard your special was amazing.

And I was told by that, by people who legitimately hate you, so you know it's a good compliment.

That's Dave Chappelle.

Went out of his way to say that.

It was wild.

Didn't watch it.

It would be nice if he watched it, but at least he heard about it.

New York Times referenced it as other specials that have appeared on YouTube.

Anyway, it's there.

But anyway, you get all this merch right there.

You'll be tripping shirts, stickers, the Ari Shavir cat shirt.

It's my favorite, to be honest.

Rocket.

No one will even know what you're talking about.

It's just a cat that looks exactly like me.

Did you guys have a good shroom fest?

I hope you did.

I hope you had a great shroom fest.

If you want a shroom fest shirt, if you celebrated this year,

we'll get into details of next year.

Still a few limited edition shroom fest 2025 shirts available.

almost all gone.

So if you want one, I would get it right now.

That's it, everybody.

Let's get back to the episode.

I'm Ari Shafir, and I support Josh Wolf.

You know, my son was in

Afghanistan.

Yeah.

And

he was stationed there.

He was nice, really?

He served?

Yeah, and so he came back, we were going to throw him a party.

And he was like, hey, I have a slideshow from my time there.

I'm like, great, dude.

He was like,

so he goes, can I play it?

And I go, yeah, we'll play it on the TV.

And so about 15 minutes before the party, I was like, hey, let me just take a look at the slideshow to make sure.

And some of it was just him and his friends on the bass.

And then we cut to some shots.

I'm like, dude,

we can't show that.

Why?

Like, what time?

And he was like, he was like, well, there's no blood.

I'm like, yeah, but there's actual death, right?

And he was like, yeah, but no blood.

I'm like, yeah, this is not.

There's eight-year-olds and 80-year-olds, dude.

I mean, it's like when you you hang out with porn stars early on and they're so casual about squirting, and you're like, well, I'm not naked.

I'm like, no, no, just you don't even know how far over the line you normally are.

You think you're pulling it back, it's back.

It's not

wow, just dead bodies.

No, it was like a dry riverbed, people, carpet bomb, no people.

And he's like, so that's not really showing him.

I'm like, yeah, but there were people, and now there are people.

And now there are no people, you know.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Where do you want to go to today?

I want to tell you a story about

Mexico.

Okay, great.

So,

it's a cousin of mine.

A preemptive, so my, my wife and I,

we are people who have always gone all in.

We've gone down to zero money multiple times in our marriage.

Oh.

Because I'm like, yeah, let's fucking try it.

I'm very confident about.

We're going to make money.

So let's try it, right?

And so we were getting married and she wanted,

we put deposits down.

She wanted a certain wedding.

And I was like, let's do it.

We put the deposits down and basically went down to zero money.

So I was like, we need to find a way to make some dough.

Yeah.

And my friend had come back up from Mexico and he's wearing this belt buckle.

And it had like a scorpion in it and it had some abalone around the outside.

And it had like a...

What's abalone?

It's like

shiny silver.

And

I,

a hand-stitched belt.

And I go, my wife was like, where'd you get that?

And he was like, Mexico.

And she said, let's go to Mexico and see if we can't figure out.

Anyways, I'll get to the trip part.

She ends up designing these belt buckles that we can go to Mexico and make.

Some have dried flowers in them.

Some have scorpions in them.

Hand-stitched belts.

Actual scorpions?

Actual scorpions.

Oh, interesting.

And hand-stitched belts.

And so I bring them back to a friend of mine in L.A.

who's in the fashion.

And I go, How much can I sell these for?

We're making them for $12.

I want to sell them for $75.

This is an LA thing.

He goes, I'll tell you what.

You can't sell them for $75.

You can sell them for $25 or $350.

Nobody in LA is buying $75.

They either want to be cheap or the coolest people in the world.

And he goes, you could sell those for $350.

And so we were making them for $12 and selling them for $350.

Wow.

And selling them like crazy.

We had them in Fred Siegel.

We had them.

Really?

Yo.

It was insane.

We would sell them at these trunk parties, $350.

So there was this one trip down.

I bring my buddy, I'm going with my buddy, and my wife was like, I need 50 of these and 50 of these.

We make these and these.

50 belt buckles with the scorpions and 50 belt buckles with the flowers.

And I'm like, cool.

That's the orders, right?

We had dried flowers and scorpions and we needed the wrapped up and needed the hand-stitch belts.

So I asked my friend, you want to come down with me?

We'll go down.

And I had been down there a bit.

Where?

Where is this?

It's right by the in Rosarita.

Rosarita.

Okay.

Okay.

And there's an open market there.

Yeah.

And so we drive down and we're in my minivan.

And before we had left.

Oh, wow.

It's the Baja side.

Yeah.

Okay.

Before we had left, my wife had given me the price sheet.

And I'm like, I don't need the price sheet.

I know what it is.

And she goes, take the price sheet, what we need.

And we have a little argument.

She throws it in the car.

I don't think anything of it.

We get down there.

And

I get the belts and belt buckles.

Now, the belts and belt buckles, by the way, the first order we made,

I call the guy two weeks later and I go, hey, dude, these belt buckles you made were great.

We need more.

And I order them and he goes, no, I don't need any money right now.

I still have some of the money you paid me.

And I go, no, I'm going to pay you more money.

He goes, I don't want to do any more work.

I still have.

I'm not in need of work yet.

I still have money.

I can still live off the money you paid me.

I don't need your money.

I want to live my life was basically what he was saying, which I'm not going to lie to you, Ari, I was a little envious of the attitude to not want to be in the route.

He was like, I'll call you when I need more money.

Well, it's like, do you want to go to the steak rush?

I'm like, no, I just ate it.

Like, steak, though.

I'm like, but I just ate it.

I'm hungry.

I'm not hungry.

Yeah.

And he was not hungry for it.

He was enjoying living off of, so I had to find other people to make these.

Anyways.

The one person that was consistent was this belt guy.

He was taking the money all the time and he he was in this market.

So I go down with my friend.

This is probably got to be 12th, 13th, 14th trip down there.

And as I started to go down there, when I'm walking in,

people start to recognize me as the white guy.

Yeah.

Right?

And this Mexican guy and his older gentleman.

He passes Mexican.

If I tan it up a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

For sure.

Grizzled fucking Mexican.

Hell yeah, dude.

Yeah.

It's the accent that gets me.

I can get you a gun.

Not today, today, but I can get you one.

The first time I took my youngest son down there, he was eight, maybe seven,

and we were there for about an hour.

And he goes, I can speak Spanish.

Because to him, it sounded

so he was just walking up to people going, Tele la baral, terra la la la.

And I was like, hey, dude.

I go, oh, hey, dude, don't do that.

That's not going to bode well for us.

We get, and this old couple who I bought the belts from, we would sit and talk and have a coffee or something.

And after my first trip down, he would say, hey, you speak Spanish to me.

I must speak English to you.

Because we were both trying to learn the language.

It was kind of fun.

And I would sit with him like a half an hour and we'd drink a coffee and butcher each other's language, but try to get through it.

And he would, the wife would come out with the belts.

This time down, I'm with my friend.

And

he says to me, hey,

this is going to have to be the last time I see you.

And I go, why?

Because he was sexually attracted to you and he had a wife.

I wish.

That would be amazing.

He was like, because I got a boner.

How do you say boner in English?

A boner.

That's right.

Emailed it.

He said,

there are people in the market today who are bad people who walked up to me because this is the day I come down.

And basically said, is the white guy coming today?

He said, people are starting to know you as the white guy who comes down with cash.

With, oh, no.

That's what I'm, people, as I started to walk in, more and more people, because I knew I was loading this dude up with cash every time I went down.

And they were, they would try to sell me things as I walked in.

I'm like, I'm popular.

These people love me, but they know I'm just some white dude with cash walking in.

So he says to me,

I'm going to have to ask you.

This guy you do business with.

Yeah.

He said, you're going to walk out not the way you came in.

He said, I don't know what's out there for you.

You got to get in your car,

you got to go home, and you can't come back.

He said, If you're going to find somebody else to make a belt, you can, but you can't come back to this market.

And I wouldn't come back,

I wouldn't come back to Rosarita.

He was like, I'd find a different area.

There's a lot of markets like this up and down the coast, and a lot of people who make belts.

He said, But you know, he was like, I consider you my friend, and this has got to be the last time we see each other.

Oh, wow.

And this was steady income for him

of American cash.

Tijuana, too.

Nope.

No, it's not.

Wow.

So,

and by the way, I was like, thank you.

And my friend, who was his first trip down, he was like, fucking thank you.

But this dude was legit,

like, worried for our safety.

20 minutes.

And he said, don't.

The first time, by the way,

we drove through, we drove down.

past like from Tijuana to Rosarita.

One of the first times

I there was an elephant, it was like a circus, yeah, and it was an elephant just tied up to a wooden post.

I was like, this feels

that elephant must be so drugged out.

Tijuana is such an interesting thing.

They have

donkeys painted like zebras, and they ask, they tell people to take a picture with the zebra.

I'm like, this is a donkey.

Yeah, just like not skin breathing.

Somebody dying here, please.

But

so the guy's like, go out the back, don't stop,

drive home.

And I was lucky that I bought the, I'd gotten the buckles first.

These 50 and 50 belt buckles were what my wife needed for us to sell in order to pay off the final of the wedding.

But so you had gotten the buckles out there.

I'd gotten the buckles already.

And what saved me from getting beat up with the buckles is I had to go to different dudes all the time because they had every guy had the same attitude I don't need your money I still have money fucking lazy Mexicans that's where it came from

was so crazy not lazy they're just value life they were just like I'm having fun with your money wow and so

I didn't get pinpointed at this market I got marked

I walked the guy was like walk right out Don't fuck around and I even asked him I go are you gonna get in trouble for leading me out the back?

He said I'm basically, he was like, I've been here forever.

Everybody loves me.

They might be mad at me, but nobody's going to do anything to me.

But they're going to.

It's like that scene in Glorious Bastards where he gets Christoph Waltz.

Yeah.

And he starts carving a swastika in his head.

He goes,

you're.

Whatever said, you can't do anything to me.

He goes, yeah, I'm going to.

And he goes, you're going to get in trouble.

He goes, nah, he'll be sore at me, but he's been sore at me before.

That's right.

That's right.

It's the same exact thing.

They were probably going to be mad at the guy, but

what the fuck, man?

Yeah, I was going to come on.

He's going to beat the shit out of this dude.

That's bullshit.

You know that's bullshit.

But in Spanish.

Yeah.

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And we go to my minivan.

We drive up to the border.

In a minivan?

Just drove down there?

I was in my, that's the only car I had at the time.

You drove from LA down there.

Yes.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So,

and I had never been stopped at the border before.

They had never pulled my minivan over.

And they always asked, do you have anything to declare?

Because you're not supposed to buy shit and sell it in the States unless you're paying tax.

But that's what you're doing.

That's what I always do.

But nobody, I always said no.

And they were like, okay.

They were really just checking to see if I was pulling anybody, if I had anybody in the wheel of my decision.

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah, somebody.

That's right.

Tucked up good, right?

Yeah.

I get up there.

They go, have you anything to declare?

And I said no.

And they said, okay, go ahead and pull it over.

We just want to check the van.

How calm are you at this point or how nervous are you?

Because of what just happened, the combination of it is very frightening to me.

But I also know I got these 50

in the,

I got these 100 belt buckles, and I've already lied and said I have nothing to declare.

And they were a little, I did hide them because I knew they were asking about the declare.

So I'm like, how much are they going to, they're searching for people.

They're not really searching my car for goods.

And I don't think they think I'm running drugs.

And like,

they find the belt buckles.

And the guy goes, I thought you said you had nothing to declare.

And this is what I said off the top of my head.

I go, I'm getting married.

50 men, 50 women.

Those are the wedding gifts.

Solid.

Solid.

Right?

And you can always play stupid American.

You can use that stereotype and play into it.

Like, what?

No, that's for this.

And like, that's exactly what we're talking about.

I brought fruit over the border.

And they're like, you can't bring fruit over there.

I'm like, no, that's for me to eat.

And they're like, yeah, that's what's not allowed.

Like, no, no, no, I'm just going to eat that.

And they're like, no, I'm like, ah.

And you're like, I didn't know that.

Well, I flew to Canada and I had weed and almonds in my bag.

They were madder about the almonds.

They were like, how many almonds?

I'm like, my bag.

And they're like, how many in the bag?

I'm like, I don't fucking count almonds, bro.

I'm not that poor.

Yeah, dude.

Do you need an almond, bro?

You can have the whole bag.

I don't.

They were fucking really mad about the almonds.

I actually asked.

that's a good lie though the 50 50.

yeah that's what they do for cuba i fucked it up when i just got back but like you you have non-banded cuban cigars right and then you go no these are dominican republics i brought these there to trade these are the ones i couldn't get rid of i traded some other ones smoked those these are the ones the leftovers they can't tell they can't tell there's no way to prove it i just go yeah i thought i could get these back in i thought it would be all at 50.

i should have said these are not cuban

but did they take your cigars because i didn't say these are not cuban i i just needed to say those words like you said no no this is a gift for a wedding party you didn't have a lie ready i didn't know they were going to search me and then when they did they go go to there i i i thought you're allowed a certain amount i didn't quite get the rundown correctly that was actually the same with me in canada because at the time i was like well weed's legal here it's legal in the states so when they said do you have anything to declare i was like yeah

they go you do I go yeah, I got weed.

And the guy was like, and they were so friendly about it, Ari.

That, do you know what I mean?

They weren't the guys in the States.

They were like, oh, you do?

I'm like, yeah.

And they were like, oh, just walk down the hall.

I'm like, oh, are we all going to take a hit?

I'm like, it's cool.

Yeah, I'll walk down the hall.

Is this where we smoke weed together?

But so they pull me over.

I say the 50-50.

And I think the guy knows it's a lie.

And my buddy is sweating.

And I'm like, dude, be fucking.

But also, what's cool?

He's probably, it's hot.

He's probably got diarrhea.

He definitely did have diarrhea, actually.

Sweating is natural.

Yeah.

Do you know what the guy pulled out?

One of the guys who's searching my car pulls out?

The fucking price sheet my wife had thrown in the car.

Damn it.

It's crumpled up.

Fuck.

The guy goes, what is this?

And I was like, okay.

And he says to me,

hey, I'll tell you what.

At some point you're like, you can lie all you want, but at some point you're like,

now I'm insulting you to your face if I keep lying.

Because it said fit.

Now I'm like, you're making me really mad.

Yeah, yeah.

And that's when you insult those dudes in another country who can put you in a jail that you're not getting out of, at some point you have to acquiesce and be like, hey, you know what?

Let's talk.

Yeah, let's do business.

And he said to me, I'll tell you what, you can take these belts and belt buckles back to where you got them.

He said, or I'm going to confiscate your car.

And I said, Car?

That's where I got them.

I go, you're going to impound my car.

And he said, no, impound means you might get it back.

Oh, my God.

This is exactly what he said to me.

He said, I, and when you come back across the border, these are American.

He said, know that I'm looking for this car and I'm going to search it up and down.

I'm just now trying to think of ways out.

So you're with your buddy?

I'm with my buddy.

So, like, you take the fucking Land Bridge.

I'll pick you up in San Diego.

Well, then they're going to have all this shit.

There's another way out of Mexico

that felt real dicey to me.

Also, if they call ahead, if they just go look for this, just put this license plate in.

How many two white dudes in a minivan?

But that border, though,

the

you know, and my friend said it was so funny.

He was like, It's so much easier getting in.

I'm like, Yeah, dude, they don't mind if you come in, they want everybody to come in.

Yeah,

but I call my wife and I said to her,

fiancé at the time, I guess it's like a parking lot, slowly, Yes.

It took forever to get, by the way, the day that my son decided he could speak Spanish,

I had to tell him at dinner, hey, dude, stop.

He was speaking Spanish to the waiter.

Yeah.

And I go, dude, stop.

Don't speak

the Spanish.

to anybody else.

Okay.

Do you understand me?

I was like, I know you don't mean to, but you're insulting them to their face.

Yeah.

I was like, and I know you don't mean to, but don't speak the the Spanish.

We get to the border,

and the border patrol guy goes, Hey, do you have, can I see your license?

I go, Yeah.

And he goes, Do you have a birth certificate for the kid?

And I go, No, why?

And he said, I got to make sure every kid who leaves Mexico isn't Mexican.

How do I know he's not Mexican?

And I go, Hey, Jacob, speak Spanish.

And he says to the guy, he goes, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Like, I was like, Yeah, you guys have a fucking great day.

That's so funny, too.

Like, how do I know he's not Mexican?

You're like, huh.

Yeah, I could prove it.

Yeah.

But anybody else would be like, yeah, I really don't know.

How do I prove he's not Mexican?

Because he doesn't look, he's half Asian, half Jewish.

So he could be a little.

He looks like

Mexican.

I called my wife and I said to her, hey,

I got to put these back.

And she goes, that's not an option.

We need those belts and buckles.

Oh, fuck.

My wife's sister runs nursing homes in Los Angeles.

She goes, let me call Amy.

See if any of her nurses have any relatives near where you live.

Near where you are.

She calls me back 20 minutes.

She goes, go to this bar, wait for, I forget his name, Juan.

So you turn around from the border, head back into Mexico.

Head back into Mexico.

Wait for this dude named Juan.

Right?

He's going to show you.

Dirty, bro.

Dirty, like, get out of there, get out of there.

But you, you don't need the money.

Like, I know, but I can't, dude.

I, here's the thing: I was like, but we can find the money somewhere else.

She was like, you're not coming out of Mexico without those fucking belts and buckles.

We, this is what we need.

I'm going to lose my deposit.

You already have the money for him.

Yeah.

I've paid for him.

It we so we turn around.

Yeah.

We wait for this dude who shows up like an hour later.

He sits down.

He speaks no English.

He called me Yash.

He goes, you, Yash?

I was like, yes.

Jess, Yash.

Yeah.

Just

Yash.

And

he was like, the bell buckles.

And I go, yeah.

And

he goes, the cash?

What cash?

Oh, he's got to coyote them.

I go, what cash?

And he goes, the cash.

I go, how much cash?

And he goes, whatever you got and i was like nah that's not and i called beth and he's like just give him whatever you've got so i gave him so we had now i got no dough

and oh i hand him my money i hand him the bell buggles and now i just have to trust that josh is gonna that that juan likes yacht oh yeah

and he doesn't have a yelp he's gonna affect yeah dude i was like dude Can I leave a Yelp review for this transaction?

And so I just had to trust he was going to meet me in San Diego.

No.

And so I got a fucking weird text.

We made it across the border.

Have Yash meet Juan.

But, but.

And he just like transported him over for you?

Just transported him over.

And I said, how is he not going to get,

why is it different for him?

As far as because they don't mind, from what I understand, they don't mind a Mexican selling his wares across the border it's me importing exporting that's a different thing like hey no that's a thing you actually have to pay taxes on that i that's exactly but him if he they could be like anything he said he he could say yeah i got these belts and buckles

and i was like what are the odds that he's gonna run into the same dude and they were like zero zero zero odds and they didn't The guy wasn't even around when I went back across the border because that line is like.

Yeah, I mean, you'd have to get to the same one.

He'd have to have signaled for all all of them But the the fear of it is enough I think he knew I was scared enough and definitely by my friend His sweat that he could tell that we were scared but the fact that he differentiated between compound between like confiscate and impound Wow, that's frightening.

I was like, oh, you can do that here like he would there was no there was no he was like you're good.

You're gonna go to jail and I'm gonna confiscate your car.

It's not worth the risk.

It's not worth the risk.

You're fucked.

How do you even even get back from San Diego?

You have to get to the train station.

For sure, they're taking my money if I get into jail.

Yeah, you're not getting that on the way out.

The belt buckle's also gone.

The car is gone.

And I'm assuming I'm not going to do too well in a Mexican jail.

A you?

A you named Yash in a Mexican jail is not going to do so well.

But I had never

been in a foreign country, and I've traveled

probably not as much as as you, but I've traveled.

I've never been nervous about jail before,

right?

And how

much of a target I would feel like an American in a jail.

American jail is not great.

But

I can't target on your part.

I can't even navigate the politics of the prison.

If you were, because you were in China,

an American in a Chinese jail is, I'm assuming, not going to, not going to.

I'd either get beaten every day by multiple heels, or I'd I'd be their god the tallest person they'd ever seen in their life that'd like ooh can I get a picture with you yeah

you know yeah one of those two and I neither way would enrich my life

no a foreign jail to me feels like like a real stain on my life yeah they were talking about Cuban jails and they're like you don't want to go don't fuck with it you don't want to go there's rats there's like you just don't want to be there how long were you in Cuba six days not that long but they were like don't fuck around with the laws for real Yeah, they're like, you're going to go to jail.

You'll get let out eventually, but like a week there is going to really fuck your life.

No weed?

No drugs?

I ended up smoking some weed.

How was Cuban weed?

Well, you know how weed works.

You haven't had any for three days and everything hits hard.

Yeah.

It's like you just reset to base level so fast.

Except that

Australian weed was...

The Australian weed was worse in the world.

Worst in the world.

I smoked in Indonesia.

Brown weed is better than Australian weed.

And they go, no, you haven't smoked smoked the right weed.

I'm like, no, you guys think your best weed is, it's, it's like living in Kansas City and going, oh, the chicks here are hot.

I'm like, you have no idea.

Yeah.

I've lived in Los Angeles.

You have no idea what you think hot is meaningless where I was from.

No, dude.

Go like, just fly to Miami and stand in the airport.

The airport.

Just stand in the airport.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I don't want to go back to the airport.

Why do you think it's so bad in Australia?

And they're so generous with it.

Yeah.

Whenever you're like, I got some great weed for you.

I'm like, do you?

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Well, I have a couple theories.

The Coke and stuff, some of it's imported, not made there.

Weed doesn't hold this because you just grow it, right?

But the Coke is harder.

It's an island, sort of, so it's harder to get stuff there.

It's in the middle of nowhere, nowhere.

But the theory I heard a long time time ago was that the cops impounded a big drug shipment once.

And they go, we've confiscated, and then, you know, those tables, all the pictures you see, tables of drugs that like, look what we did as they're doing like a press conference.

And I'm sure they've taken whatever they need for themselves before they show it.

Of course.

You know, all this moneyless drugs.

And they go, so here's all these drugs.

And they go, that's...

three million dollars worth of cocaine, marijuana, and this, whatever.

There's three million dollars worth of cocaine, two million dollars worth of marijuana, this.

And that

now

is just the price.

That was an inflated price, but they called it $2 million worth of weed when it should be $400,000 worth of weed.

So now the price just is that because that's the public traded price.

And it just became too expensive and people just can't grow it right because they'd have great climate for growing it.

You would think.

And there's so much open.

Yeah, and maybe if it got legalized, it's not legal, right?

No, it's very.

I would say, by the way, also,

I did not love the New Zealand weed either.

Medical, they have medical,

it should be hella good.

Both those places.

New Zealand weed, I didn't, I wasn't a huge fan of either.

But I'm also not a fan of a spliff.

I don't love the tobacco.

Yeah, they like that.

I've gotten into it.

Do you like it?

Do you prefer it?

It's funny.

You go to Europe and you're like, spliff.

I'm like, where I'm from, that's for black people.

And they're like, no way.

It's European or blacks.

Do you like it?

Do you prefer it?

When I'm,

it's kind of fun.

It took me years to get into it.

And then it's kind of fun when I'm out there to roll them both.

Just so you can just keep going.

I did the Great Ocean Road in Australia.

It was just spliff after spliff, pull over, spliff.

It covers up the smell a little bit.

Yeah, but I don't love the nicotine high.

Yeah, that's a back.

Yeah, but I was also smoking cigarettes.

Then it's easier.

If you're not smoking cigarettes, like, ugh, get out of here.

Yeah, I don't like that.

I do enjoy the taste of good weed.

Yeah.

And to me, tobacco ruins that.

So I was in Edinburgh.

We're out watching UFC late at night.

We were on out to the courtyard.

It's Loss's house, and I was passing around, we were all passing around joints and splits, whatever.

And I pull out mine.

I lit it and passed it.

Some guy was like,

hey, smoked it and passed it.

He goes, oh, thanks.

And the next guy was smoking it.

And the first guy kept coughing.

And the second guy was like, dude, is this a pure?

He called it a pure.

And I'm like, what?

Oh, without.

He goes, you got to warn people.

That's bullshit.

You can't just pass somebody this without warning them.

You mean an actual joint?

Yeah, a joint.

I got to warn you before I pass you weed.

I was like, I'm sorry.

I wasn't thinking this was even

no, from where I'm from, you gotta say there's tobacco in there.

Yeah, for sure.

As a matter of fact, without a doubt, that's a fuck you to pass somebody a spliff who doesn't know you're getting

the fuck.

Come on, dude.

Where's the weed?

Yeah.

I'd like to get high.

I'm actually, for the first time in probably 30 years,

sober for like almost two months.

No weed, no nothing.

Oh, really?

And

I was going pretty hard.

I don't know if I told you this.

I was taking like three grams of mushrooms before every Friday night show

just to go on stage and really just

see

what happens.

But the no weed, it's been 30.

I don't know how long.

You get out of it pretty quick, though, right?

Yeah.

The dreams got the dreams.

That...

Was maybe the craziest part where you're like, is this what happens with people the dreaming and have you what's the longest you've gone without weed

a month in the last you know a few i did sober january last year

um i've done sober october

and yeah so about a month and it's like oh no when i was in southeast asia it was a couple months why because it was so

No, it was legal places.

No, I might not.

I found it here or there.

I found it at a beach in Cambodia.

I found it at a place in Thailand.

I'd find it once in a while, but definitely a month.

A beach, by the way, is if you're looking for drugs, it feels like a good place to go find them.

So there they'll be like a Bob Marley, like

themed, not themed even, but just like adorned places.

It's the weeds, but they'll sell you joints.

And they'll have a deal with the cops.

They're like, we're the ones.

You don't fuck with us here.

They just have a deal where it's like, if they're selling them that publicly, you're fine.

In Mexico on the beach, those people who sell like the sombreros and the ceramics they'll go sombrero ceramic cocaine marijuana

Jesus dude.

There's a couple levels up.

These are goods.

Yeah, and this is drugs.

That's a such a huge drum.

Yeah, you go from marijuana to like

mushrooms then then Coke.

It's like Jesus.

Did you say hairless cat, dude?

Yeah.

Like that is such a weird combination from sombrero.

Wait, so let's get back to Mexico.

Well, I guess you just were.

So how did you, so then what happened?

We

were both sweating driving across the border just because I think this dude has got a hard on for me.

Yeah.

It turns out he was just trying to scare us.

And I think he knew 100%

this dude is scared enough.

He's bringing it back to wherever.

But I couldn't go all the way because first thing I was like, meet me in Rosarita.

I'm like, can't do that.

I've been told specifically.

Your Rosarita privileges have been revoked.

Don't drive the van to Rosarita.

They know your van.

Wow.

So I can't do that.

So I had to meet this dude in a place.

El Gringo Regreso.

Exactly, dude.

And it was right across from a strip club called Bada Bing.

Oh, wow.

In Mexico, I was like, that's a crazy.

That means a.

I just thought like some mobster from New York was like, I'm in trouble.

I need to sink some money in somewhere.

Yeah.

Bada bing.

that might be it,

Rosarita.

Yeah, yeah,

that's cool, dude.

And by the way, the lap

Mexican rules at strip clubs are

kind of like just whorehouses, right?

And then they have like a strip club to get ready to pick which one.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's so funny because you see the guys, the Mexican guys who don't have the money for a full hooker, but they're like, I can dance with them.

I can have a drink while I.

We went to one

strip club.

It's so funny because you're going to be like, it's almost like, you want to get out of here?

Yeah.

Like, yeah,

sure.

I was waiting for you to ask.

Yeah.

And then they just come back to the.

We went to one strip club where my friend had never.

Okay.

We were watching this woman dance.

And this was on a completely different trip.

But it was me and a friend of mine and a girl who was on the trip with us.

And she was looking at this dancer.

And she was like, what is that?

hanging out of her vagina.

And I was like, that's her vagina hanging out.

She had never seen an Audi.

She had only seen Innies.

She was like, wait, what?

I go, yeah, you didn't.

Who is this?

This was on very early

Chelsea.

Yes.

Oh, okay.

This was very early.

Chelsea lately.

She would bring us all on trips.

And we were at this strip club.

And this girl just could never seen an Audi.

All she had seen is like the sideways Homer Simpson mouth.

Do you know what I'm, you know?

So she had never seen like the full, like, and she was like, whoa,

this is just.

I remember seeing what it was like, what?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's not the pictures.

It's no, nobody takes pictures of those, dude, on purpose.

Innies and outies.

Damn.

Yeah.

But we got across the border, man.

We pick up the belt buckles.

Those belt buckles and belts and buckles ended up paying for my entire wedding.

They paid for three months of rent and all my bills.

We were selling them for $350.

I was buying them for $12 each.

And the reason the business went under is because the people

who were making the buckles,

the guys who were running out of money and they'd call and go, hey,

I can make you buckles now.

And I'd say, hey, I don't need your buckles.

I'm getting it from this guy.

So they would make them and they started selling them in Tijuana for $25.

Somebody from Fred Segal went down and were like, hey, I saw this belt buckle that I spent $350 on for $25 in Mexico, and the business was up.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

That's what it is.

Wow.

$35,000 and $1,200 in cost.

That was just one trip.

Right.

Wow.

That was just one trip.

Wow.

It was really crazy

what we were.

Now we would sell them.

If you sold them to a store, right?

I had to sell them for.

They sell them for $350,000.

You get less for them.

But if we sold them at one of those trunk shows that somebody's house $350

cash $33,000 in profit minus the gas to get down there and whatever.

Yeah, it's a food.

How much food costs in Mexico?

No hotel.

You gotta get them come back.

Get them come back.

Wow.

It was crazy.

My wife and I would walk down Ventura Boulevard.

And also, we were both trying to be artists.

And when somebody came up to us and we're like, you're the belt buckle people, I was like, that's the last time we're selling those.

I don't ever want to be known as the belt buckle dude.

Do you, you know, that was, I was, that's not the goal.

It's funny when you go to some like little, not market, but like in like whatever a foreign version of Union Square is, yeah, you see them making stuff, you're like, Oh, look at these burnouts and fucking wanderers and drug addicts.

But you're like, These are actually really fine quality.

Like, they're like artists, too.

Like, I take shells I find and I sand them down and just polish them, and then I make a button.

And it's like, oh, you want to be like, get out of here, beggar.

But, like, guys, I'm doing cool things.

I wonder if you Googled Scorpion Belt Buckle Mexico,

if one of them would come up.

Yeah.

But they, at one point, were putting tarantulas in them.

Oh, my God.

Dude, I needed...

That's it?

All these.

Okay, with the abalone on the outside.

See, that one right there.

That looked like it.

Yep.

It has that shiny, right?

I mean, it's beautiful.

But it was...

It's gorgeous.

So that's a belt buckle.

That was a belt buckle.

Bro, That's baller.

That's baller.

Dude, we were selling them.

Hinchcliffe, you need this, bro.

I still probably have

some of them in the garage.

But so the original ones that we had seen were a little different.

Like a hand carved belt.

Yeah.

And so, and we would stamp something like El Guapo on the back or whatever you wanted on the back.

We would have it.

The guy would stitch it in.

And so it was like we were, people legit were walking

LA with those.

I was wearing them.

My dad would wear one, dude.

This old Jew would rock.

We would rock it.

Dude, when you get into belt buckles, you can swap out and stuff and just have

it's like, it's like it's like a new adornment.

It's kind of like a nice watch.

It's just like.

And they're super cool.

They're super cool.

You can find them in thrift stores.

I'll be like, this will go on my belt.

Yeah.

I didn't understand belt.

I thought they came with it attached.

So did I.

But you can like undo those, do that, pull it off, and that kind, you just put them right on.

Dude, I'm I'm going to tell you something else that I didn't know

how it worked.

This is completely different.

But as a Jew, I had never decorated a Christmas tree before.

I didn't know the ornaments needed hooks.

So I was trying to buy.

I would, the first Christmas tree I bought, I saw the little holes, and I asked the guy at the Christmas tree, I go, Hey, where are your thin-branched trees?

And he was like,

What?

You thought they went right down the panel?

No, they went right down the branch.

What a fucking idiot.

What a dumb fuck.

What a dumb idiot stupidest thing maybe

when beth my wife was like what are you doing i was like i was looking for a thin branch tree she was like for what i said for the ornament she was like oh my that's the jewiest thing like

yeah it was pretty embarrassing but these were exactly what we were damn selling and we sold a smaller version also

um that wasn't quite as uh

and what are they selling that for right now 39.17.

$39.

Yeah, but that's with the internet now.

It's not like you can find everything anywhere.

So it's not about like ooh, I can't find these.

The silver one is more like

no, no, over one where it's just the plain silver to the right.

Nope.

Oops.

Where the Palladian silver abalone, that one.

That was a lot of the plain silver around the outside.

People like that one a lot.

And then we did that version, but instead of scorpions,

it was dried real flowers.

That's cool.

And

so we sold, I went,

I drove to a store in San Francisco in the pouring rain because I needed to get these into Nordstrom for a big order.

I remember I just walked right in and I walked up.

I said, where's your buyer?

Because it was Nordstrom store number one.

I was like, this must be where the buyer is.

And I gave her the whole sob story.

I need to sell this amount for my wedding to happen.

What can you do for me?

It was like.

I always envy those people that go into a business like, hey, who does your Shakuri?

I'd love to talk to the owner here.

It's like, door to door.

You should carry our products.

We make fine quality vegan milk.

Dude, I grew.

I just saw that the other day.

Yeah, yeah.

But I ended up with so, I had so much respect for people who did that

because, but you know what actually helped me with it?

In our business, rejection,

if you can't take rejection, or people.

Mostly, it's not about that.

It's not about the rejection,

about the, what's the opposite of rejection?

Acceptance.

Yeah.

Those are the ones you, you know.

So, so hearing a no didn't scare me to go in and ask because I was like, this can't be worse than the OR at 1 a.m.

on a Wednesday.

A hard no for 15 straight minutes.

A very, you know what you're walking into.

So I was like, I can do this part of it.

But this was like one of.

Yeah, we've had some weird businesses because we've gone all in a bunch of times, but this one was definitely my favorite one.

That's so fucking cool.

Yeah, dude.

Did you ever eat down there or anything?

All the time.

How was it?

So I had only ever had main lobster.

I hadn't had the.

That lobster is way, it's closer to crab, I think, and not as, not as tender.

Oh, interesting.

And so it was more like...

And Cuba, they're like, have you had the lobster yet?

Like, so the cabbage was like, not even trying to sell him anything.

And I was like, no, I had, but I didn't want him to think I was rich.

And he goes, oh, you gotta.

I mean, there's a different kind of lobster here.

You should find some.

Better or worse than the main lobster?

I think worse, but it's different.

It's its own unique thing.

Yeah.

Like you said, for Mexico.

And that's the west coast of Mexico.

So it's probably nothing like Cuba.

No.

But I will say that

my Mexican friends,

all they would say is, you know, what's going to be the big difference?

The tortillas.

And it was like a, you know, a burger is made, you make or break by the bun.

A burger tastes like a burger unless it's really shitty or really good.

Riyoshi tastes like a different thing.

But the bun is really going to make your burger.

The tortillas were

so spectacular.

It was night and day.

But also,

I had come from, you know, the first time when I first started eating Mexican food, I went to college in San Antonio.

And that was so much different than California Mexican food.

It was way more.

Right, right, right.

Tex Mexic is different.

Yeah, it's a different thing.

Way different.

But the, the, really, like, the ceviche,

which I love, was like, I was like, well, this is really what it tastes like.

And I, and it's funny, the ceviche changes too.

Ecuadorian is different than Peruvian.

Is it?

Yeah.

One is like way like more about the, it's almost soupy, and one is like chopped up bits and like almost no like water.

I think I like that kind more.

Yeah.

The chunkier kind.

I'm also a huge refried bean guy.

And the difference in the American restaurant, refried bean, and then deep down in a restaurant in Mexico where they weren't speaking English was markedly different.

And also the Mexican rice.

It all was...

It all had like a...

Would you get diarrhea from it a lot?

I just didn't touch water, and I didn't touch vegetables.

Right.

That's what they say.

Like, it's cooked vegetables, you're all right.

Raw vegetables, they're going to wash it in the water.

You can't even see what's waiting for you.

No salad.

When I had the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life in the Dominican, and I was getting on a plane, and

I told my wife, I go, go get me

a loaf of bread and a bottle of Pepto-Bismol.

I'm making some paper-mâché in my fucking stomach because I got to get on this plane.

I was like, I'm not getting on this plane because I'm shitting.

But I ate,

my stomach was like, but I paper, I built that wall, dude.

Legit?

Built a wall.

I paper-mâchéed my stomach.

I taught Bobby one phrase in Cuba.

I was just told him, sin yellow por pavor.

And he's like, so he's like, no ice, please.

So that's the other thing.

Like, no matter what, just learn this and keep saying it, or you might be fucked.

Somebody told me also, even your bottled water, when it comes out of ice, you have to wipe it down because there's a little bit, a drop on your...

Wow.

Especially, I don't know about you, but as a Jew, my stomach is quick to diarrhea.

You're already in a danger zone for this.

Yeah, it's quick.

It's quick to jump to diarrhea.

Our people are quick to diarrhea, dude.

There's no doubt about it.

Yeah.

That's why matzah was always.

We always kept a box, even when it wasn't in season.

My dad always kept a box of matzah.

He was like, just get constipated.

Yeah.

The fine fly of the surface.

Sometimes you need a little bit.

Just in case we need to build it up.

My most embarrassing times in school, because I didn't grow up up with a ton of Jews, was having to bring during that one week to bring my lunch and have peanut butter and jelly on matzah and explain to people again.

They're like, no, why?

What the fuck is that again?

Once again, it's because I live in a fucking cult that was made 5,000 years ago.

They're like, so it's a giant cracker?

I'm like, okay.

No.

Like, have a cracker then.

Like, it's different.

Crackers are not allowed.

Yeah.

They were like, that looks terrible with peanut butter and jelly.

I'm like, it is.

Yeah.

It's the worst.

Did you think it was good?

This is not the point of Judaism that you feel good or that it tastes good.

That's our version of like the fucking.

You think we want to eat gefilta fish?

That's something.

Yeah, but the Mexican, I've always said I think if I had to pick one country's food to eat forever, it would be Mexico.

They're the star of Latin America.

Mexico is the star of Latin America.

I mean, every, you know,

what's the one on the West Coast?

I can't think of it.

Oh, Argentina, not on the West, but like they're the best.

Like, steak.

Yeah.

Chile is the great, whatever.

But like,

Ecuador is great fish, but Mexico is the star.

I love the coastal seafood.

It's underrated in Mexico, but their seafood dishes, I think, are fucking so fresh.

Oh, so fresh.

If you stay in a coastal town, you see them bringing it in, they go right to the restaurants, like, do you want to buy this?

And then that's what you're getting.

Yeah, that makes such a huge difference.

For seafood, especially.

Yes.

I'm not sure as much for beef.

Maybe, maybe not, but the seafood is like.

I had never had actual

be on a boat, catch a fish, make ceviche.

Wow.

Where it's like, what are we, am I eating that fish that we just caught?

I hear freshwater fish is even more.

Like the taste for the farther it gets dead is the taste goes down more than saltwater fish.

Oh, that makes sense.

So it could be trout fishing, like fry it up

while you're on a break from the fishing.

Do you fish at all?

No, I went with Bobby Kelly, though, once, and we just made it instantly in a pan, like, nearby over a grill, and it was like, fucking wow.

He He doesn't strike me as an outdoorsman, is he?

He's an obsessive.

He's a former alcoholic and drug addict.

And so he's obsesses about anything.

And he has to replace that, like all alcoholics, all addicts.

So

he gets into stuff and he goes, I'll buy seven rods.

I'll get like, you know, and he's like, I'll learn.

I'll watch YouTube videos all day, every day.

And you're like, yeah, I got him to start taking Spanish.

I'm like, you'd actually really do well because of your addiction personality.

Like, you're going to pick it up quick.

Is that who you went to Cuba with?

Yeah.

And did he pick it up?

No, when he got back, now he started on Duolingo or Babble, one of those two.

Cuba is a place that I always...

Is this still great old American cars and all that stuff you see?

Yeah, they can't.

No, no,

the embargo.

They got to end that thing.

It's like everybody's dead except Raul.

It's like, what are we doing here?

They're not going to comply.

They're not going to comply.

It's an empty threat.

You're just punishing the people.

Let them get a Prius.

Can they get a Prius?

You can't do business with America, and you can't do business with anyone America does business with.

So it's like, you're just like damning them.

It's like really a blockade around the island.

And by the way, you know whose fault none of that is?

Is the people who've been born in the last

right?

Yeah.

A 15-year-old's like, why the fuck is that?

We learned a lot about the history while we were there, so we could see it on the streets.

And it was like, we just fucked it up from start to finish.

The CIA, the military, and the intelligence from the Cuban dissidents.

Like, it was just bad intelligence done badly.

And then it's like, you pushed him to communism.

He was like, maybe, maybe not.

And it's like, oh, fuck.

I guess I need an ally.

And Khrushchev was like, oh, yeah.

Yeah.

It's like, sick, because these guys are coming at me strong.

And so then it's like, we pushed them to, he was just super, you know, how liberal and communism almost overlaps.

So he was just like, I'm just hella liberal.

But for the people.

And then they're like, go communist.

I'm like, okay, I guess.

What were the people like in Cuba?

In Havana, it was like a lot of people are just trying to get some money, trying to get American money, because that's how you acquire wealth.

You can't acquire wealth

there.

So you need to get some from out.

Right.

So a lot of people hawking and trying to sell you on stuff, but pretty friendly otherwise.

Great culture, great music, great local music, good enough food.

The good Cuban food you've had is not in Cuba because they don't have access to spices.

So they get those spices here.

You can't do any trade.

So they have great sugar cane, coffee, and tobacco.

In the olden days, they would grow extra, have everything from them, then trade the extra for berries or petrol or whatever.

Now there's no reason to grow extra.

You can't do anything with it.

So it's just wasting this great resource.

So they're like, that's why you don't get new cars.

Just fix the old one.

We can't get a new one in here.

Better fix the old one.

What's American dollar down there?

$320.

It's not, it goes pretty far.

A cup of coffee is about $2, but like fine goods.

This thing.

Let's see here.

Yeah.

So like.

Some stuff is like really expensive.

The cigars can cost you like $20.

You know, it's just like instead of $40 here.

This thing, fine handmade,

$2.

What?

Yeah.

2,000 pesos.

So,

maybe three.

But yeah, I mean, it's beautiful.

It's going to go up on the white's wall.

I got to put it up.

Can I see that?

Yeah, for sure.

And so this artist was just on the

street.

Yeah, he was in a craft store, craft market.

But like some of the stuff was like, oh, wow, that's that much.

And I was trying to buy gifts for people.

And like, I have $100 to spend.

You're like, I can't get through it.

I'm buying stuff and I can't get, I can't equal $100.

You can't spend $100.

Yeah.

I know a guy who sells belt buckles.

Did you do that anymore?

Afterwards?

Yeah.

No, because when

we got back from the wedding, we were like, we do need a little bit of money.

That's when we had gotten a message from the guy from Fred Sliego.

It was like, hey, these belt buckles are being sold for $25 in Mexico.

We're out.

We're out.

And

for Beth and I, we were like,

that's two signs in a row.

And it did everything we needed it to do.

It's done.

It paid our rent.

It paid for the wedding.

I didn't get arrested.

Listen, I don't want to gloss over the arrest part, but I think I was really close to getting murdered.

Like, like, the first part of that was, right, they're waiting for you out there.

If that dude didn't warn you, if they hadn't come in and said, is he coming today?

If they had just waited

and waited, like, all of these ifs, like, for sure, that's how people go missing down there.

Yeah, right.

Because they didn't find a body.

They know better.

And let them find the body.

No, if you don't want, they don't want you to find a body, you're not going to find a body.

But the worst thing was

when I was driving back with my buddy, Gavin, I was like, dude, here's what's scary.

We basically paid this dude all our money for the belts and buckles.

So it feels like they would have either come at us, not had any money and gotten mad and killed us, or kidnapped.

Ransom do.

That's what I would have done.

They're worth something.

Yes.

Don't just kill them because you're mad.

Like, get something out of them.

And guess who wasn't worth anything at the time?

Wow.

Zero.

But they don't understand that.

No, no.

it's like when you go places and they're trying to sell you on stuff, and you're like, hey, dude, I want to explain to you: like, anyone who has a big backpack on with like the yoga man on top, they don't have money.

Yeah, it's the ones who have no backpacks, they have the money, and somebody's carrying their yoga mat, right?

That's the person with money.

Yeah, I, I, I had never like

very cool.

I haven't been down since then, but I really do want to go back.

I don't drive a minivan anymore, so if you started making out with that thing, dude,

I'm getting cursed.

That would be fucking amazing.

That actually, the last time I did

mushrooms.

Yeah.

You saw this guy, you talked to this guy.

I was in Hawaii in my hotel room, and I swear every spirit on the island joined me in my room that night.

Bro.

It scared.

Like, when I mean, there were, I had never been that intense by that many different things

and and some

Ari that felt really welcoming and some that were like you don't belong here it was so fucking intense

I couldn't every time I this tree on mushrooms this type of tree it it becomes like it's like it looks like a like a human when you're when you're like tripping they're wild these like big it's it's just like this big crown and it looks like a face just comes out on mushrooms that's hawaii

When I was like, I wonder why so many,

we know one of the Hawaiians, I was like, dude, I tripped so bad last night, and all these spirits.

And they said, do you know how many dead people are buried?

How many wars?

And whenever you break new ground, they have to check

because so many people died.

They're just not that much land.

Like,

somebody told me, like, they have to do whatever whatever kind of blessing or whatever, whenever they break ground on something there, just to make sure they're not.

And I was like,

what?

And they said, yeah,

it fucked me up.

That was the last time where I really, I would like, three grams doesn't really make me trip too much.

Yeah, you've got a tolerance.

Yeah, but I don't know.

That's plenty for any of you.

Just try it.

Yeah.

That's more actually more than enough.

Yeah, one and a half, I think, if you're just fucking around.

Half an eighth.

I like the three.

The three is enough where you're changing a little bit, but I'm still

kind of in contact.

Yeah.

That's what I like on stage about it.

Wow.

Three seconds before you go on stage.

Is the oh, dude.

I actually posted one of those sets,

and you know, my son tours with me.

Yeah.

And I was talking to him.

I thought he was on stage with me.

And somebody was like, hey.

He's not up there.

And I was like, what?

Oh, my God.

But I love

that part.

It's actually what I love about that part of stand-up.

When I'm a little like

and not knowing how, what the next 10 minutes is going to be.

Yeah.

It's the fun part.

I wouldn't want to do it all the time.

Yeah, certain comics, I'm one, you're one.

It's like, I like a fight.

I like to not know how this is going to go.

I don't want it easy.

But because I risk the loss.

There was a time where I was like, let's just make this great and good and easy.

But you've been doing it long enough where you're like, let's make this interesting.

Yeah, it's like once you got good at Techmobile, remember Techmobile?

Fuck yeah.

And I was like, well, let me try to win only on safeties.

Yep.

It's too easy.

So now let me try to get down to the one, turn it over on downs, and then try to safety them.

So I can only get two at a time.

I never did that.

Did you do that?

Yeah.

Did you ever win on safeties?

Yeah, all the time.

Eventually I got too good at that.

But it's like they might go for one touchdown and like, fuck, okay, I got to get four safeties to make up for that.

That's not easy.

Yeah.

That is a weird way to look at safety.

You really have two plays to get that safety.

Hopefully an incomplete pass or and you just full blitz it doesn't matter if they get 20 yards like all right now just stop them on downs get the ball back drive back down it did you ever were you ever ballsy and play against bo jackson bo jackson was a he he was the warrior there he couldn't stop him it was a coach unstoppable god damn there's never been anybody in any other video game ever that was unstoppable as unstoppable as a tech mobile Bo Jackson.

There's a video of him trying, he's just came to a Royals practice because he's like an

Hall of Famer Famer for them.

And

telling one of the players' kids, like, it's 10.

He goes, yeah, I played for the Royals.

Oh, yeah.

He goes, yeah, I actually played.

He goes, Were you good?

I goes, yeah, I was an all-star.

He's like, what's your name?

Like, Bo Jackson.

He goes, hmm, I'm 10-year-old.

He goes, so you only play baseball?

He goes, no, I play football too.

He goes, oh,

how hard you go?

He goes, I was a Pro Bowl in the NFL.

They're like, what?

Like, yeah, I was a Pro Bowl in the NFL and I was an all-star in baseball.

And the kid was like,

really?

He's almost like, this kid's, this guy's lying.

Yeah.

And he was like, as he's saying it, it's like, yeah, I'm one of, if not the greatest athlete of all time.

Snapping a bat over his.

Dude, there will never be another one of those dudes.

They would never let them

Deion or anything like that.

Because

do you remember the video where he basically runs up?

Look at this on strikeout.

I gotta go.

I gotta take it.

He's so mad.

He just grounded it out.

And just fucked me.

How do you even balance it?

Over his head?

Jesus Christ.

No, dude.

There's a video of him basically running sideways on the outfield wall.

He was running so fast

that he runs

basically

where gravity just isn't a thing anymore.

You know, I mean, you can do that in cars.

You know, where you go up the bank, where you're, but a human, that one,

a human isn't supposed to run sideways on a flat wall, too.

It's not even a curved wall.

No, okay.

Yep.

What?

That's not normal.

What?

Hit the wall.

Who thinks to run up it?

Up a flat wall, dude.

And by the way, he's got how many feet is that dislocated?

He can't stop.

He's wanting to now.

What?

Oh, no, no, no.

That's not normal stuff, dude.

That

this part,

look at the other guys.

Look at the other guys.

Like, now you're just fucking, now you're just showing, now you're just showing off.

But I, I, yeah, there's, I don't think

Dion, maybe.

Dion was great, too.

All right, I got to run.

All right.

I got to be somewhere in seven minutes.

I'm not going to be up.

Uh, Josh, buddy.

I'll put in all your fucking plugs when I put this out, but your specials

again, your special is out now.

My special is out on my YouTube channel.

It's called fourstories.com.

It's called Four Stories.

And because I

it's just four stories, I really wanted to tell.

tell.

That's cool.

I like telling long stories.

And I had these four long stories.

And

one is like about being in a room where my buddy had sex with a deaf girl and him not wanting me to leave because he didn't want her to know that we could hear him.

And there's one about getting arrested at Ikea.

There's one about being too high on a plane.

There's a little bit for everybody.

Nice.

But I shot it Ari

in a way I didn't do any wide shots.

wanted it to feel as much like you were at a comedy show as I could.

Yeah, it's hard.

That's the biggest.

That's the biggest.

No crowd shots.

Good.

Those are done.

Because

you don't want to see Janet laughing.

Who the fuck cares?

It doesn't mimic the experience.

You're always staring at the comic.

You're not looking around when you're in the room at other people.

Can I tell you what else I left in here?

That

it's back.

It might be the spike.

Yeah.

I threw somebody out, and my

people were like, hey, hey, hey,

you got to to take that out.

And I said, why?

This is what we go through as comics.

So I really wanted it to feel as authentic.

There it is.

That's me showing her, telling her earlier, hey, you got to be quiet.

So I had just.

I'll just ruin your fucking taping.

I don't have time for this.

You got to go.

But I was like, I'm keeping all this in.

And I didn't cut from between first show, second show.

This is one.

This is one show.

Oh, so it's like earlier and second.

Yeah.

Yeah, enough already.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I didn't want to show both of them.

But I really,

because I wanted it to feel like, oh, I'm at

a comedy show.

Yeah.

And this is what happens at fucking comedy shows.

So it was, and I love telling long stories.

So, and if you like storytelling, like, it's a fun special one.

Yep.

All right, buddy.

Thank you so much.

Yeah, nice to see you.

Great seeing you.

Thank you so much.

All right, well, that's the episode, you guys.

Hope you had a good time.

Yeah, wild stories.

Wild stories of Tijuana.

Is that the first Mexico?

No, we had Tulum with Christina and Corinne.

We had Tulum.

Yeah, fucking wild.

This is exactly what I want for this podcast.

Nutty shit like that.

Being followed by

bad people to do bad harm to you.

Good job, Josh Wolfe.

Don't forget, everybody, go check out his special right now.

It's on YouTube, Josh Wolf Comedy.

YouTube.com slash at Josh Wolfe Comedy for the Campfire Special.

Leave a comment.

Let them know that I sent you.

Straight from a Tijuana Prison to Your Hearts, the Campfire Special by Josh Wolf.

He's also appearing in lots of cities right now.

All tickets are available.

Comedian Josh Wolf.

While I get those, I'll let you know that today's episode was edited by Alan Caffeys, produced by Your Mom's House Network.

He has a residency in Las Vegas, but he's also performing in

at Jimmy Kimmel's.

This is his residency.

He's also performing in.

Get there.

Ari, get there.

Get there.

Eugene, Oregon.

San Francisco at Cobbs.

Batavia, Illinois.

Spokane, Washington.

At the Spokane Comedy Club.

Punchline, Philadelphia.

This is into October now.

Interesting.

Not that interesting.

Montville, Connecticut at Mohegan Sun.

Let's figure this out.

Laugh, Boston.

Royal Oak, Michigan.

I think that's not it.

Boise, Indiana, Boise, Idaho.

Bozeman, Montana.

Wow, you're playing Bozeman.

Fucking cool.

Never played Montana.

Like to.

Great place to float.

Fort Wayne, Indiana.

And Omah, Nebraska.

And finally, the comedy store in La Jolla, California.

What if San Diego, outside San Diego?

What a great place that is.

I mean,

I know there's countless.

albums that have been done there.

For myself, I've got nothing to promote.

So please subscribe wherever you guys are are watching or listening on Spotify or on YouTube.

And please pick up a stay positive, sure.

Help support this podcast

by buying a little merch.

Rocket with pride.

Also, get one of those stickers.

Six packs of Ubi Tripping stickers.

Two of them are clear.

Two of them are tan base and two of them are blue base.

The blue and the tan ones stick up anywhere.

What I'd like you to do, hope you listen to me on this.

Stick it up in faraway places.

The Eiffel Tower,

the pyramid in Egypt, something fucking wild and cool.

A volcano in Iceland.

Put them up there.

Take a picture, tight, maybe at a wide, and send it to UB Trippin' Pod on Instagram.

And Heather and Caitlin will find those and put them up.

And, you know, it's a fucking cool way to support the podcast.

And I like to see them, actually.

I like to see these stickers make it all over the world.

So do me a favor and buy one of these.

Buy a Shroom Fest shirt.

Limited numbers are still available.

If you celebrate a Shroom Fest, go ahead and get one of those.

And if you celebrate it late, I'll allow it to.

get one of the last shroom fest shirts available for 2025

and that's it you guys hope you had a good time mexico i remember going there for tijuana with uh bobby lee took me there to lose my comedy virginity which is um getting a hooker

i almost left a friend there that's a story for for a uh the end

it's a uh new name for ari shafir's rename storytelling show and i'm gonna hype it right now not i'll wait i'll hype it a little later it's coming

It's coming.

Yeah, it's coming.

All right, guys.

I'll mention it more in the Harlem Williams episode.

Next week, Des Bishop comes on, and the week after that, our old pal Harlem Williams,

2024 Trippy Award winner for best, best

guest, most surprising, best trip.

That's it, everybody.

Until next week, hasta luego.