Cool Dude Zach

Today,

in 2013,

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Hey, everybody, a very special episode of the Auntie Donna podcast.

Zach has a very special announcement, announcement and Mark will be getting all into that plus a bit of a cultural exchange between cool people and nerds, everything that's happening there.

Then a little bit of a bonus.

You don't need to listen to that if you don't want to.

All that and more in the Auntie Donna podcast.

If you want to watch it, head to our Patreon, auntie DonnerClub.com.

Hello and welcome to a very special episode of the Auntie Donna Cup podcast.

Very exciting announcement.

I've become a cool dude.

Really?

Yeah.

Now, Zach, when did this happen?

Because, you know, I see you most days, I think it's fair to say, you know, out of 365 days, we're probably on top of each other.

300 of those days.

Do you think that's fair to say?

Broden's not here, by the way.

Broden's not here.

Broden's got something on.

I don't know what.

No idea.

Just a mysterious can't make it that day.

Sometimes he just says.

Oh, no, I do know.

Oh, you do know?

Yeah.

Can't say?

No, not good.

Just joking.

It's something to do with the footy with Brennan Kelly.

Of course, that is what I had assumed.

Yes.

And he told us that.

Anyway, yes,

I don't listen to much of what

other people have to say.

Now, that's not true.

Now, you're a speaker.

I'm a sponge.

I'm a sponge.

I soak it up.

You soak it up.

The grut, the filth,

all of it.

You soak it up.

The good and the bad.

You soak it up.

I suck it up like a goddamn sponge.

But we're not here to talk about my

absorbent qualities.

Yeah, no, we're not.

We're here to talk about the fact that you've become a cool dude.

Yeah, I've become a cool dude in the last...

It was quite sudden.

Was it a

thoughtful change?

No.

It just happened?

Or yeah, or my next, what I was, well, you've already answered.

Why?

Unless there's a third.

There might be a third.

I was going to say, or

did it, was it thrusted upon you?

Like,

you know, like

being a king, your father dies.

You're inheriting the crown.

It's thrusted upon you.

And you may not want the crown.

You may not be right for the crown.

Spoiler alert for Game of Thrones, Joffrey.

was not right for the crown.

Yet it was thrusted upon him.

And he took to it like a duck takes to

the desert.

They take to duck feed.

They love duck feed.

An old man's bread.

Like a duck to a crust.

Like a duck to a crust.

And I am talking, if you're listening,

I am talking about

a duck who wants to be their own boss starting a crust franchise.

An autonomous duck.

An autonomous duck.

becoming a franchisee of the crust brand of pizza restaurants.

Not enough ducks doing their own thing.

I think

a lot of ducks out there, and if you're a duck listening,

a lot of ducks out there just not really delivering, you know, not really, they're just worker ducks.

Do you think ducks listen to podcasts?

No.

Yeah.

No, they probably

the podcast.

They're called podcasts because they were originally available on the iPods.

Oh, it's not because they were recorded in small pods?

No, no, it's because they were originally available on the iPods.

Right.

So they're called podcasts.

I thought it was because the first one was about

the pods, the candy, the Mars pods.

Do you think that's why they were called podcasts?

No, no.

You know, like a biro?

Yeah, no.

The first one was, I don't know what the first one was.

They're called podcasts because they're named after the iPod, and the iPod is called the iPod because they're named after the pods in 2001 a Space Odyssey.

Right.

That makes sense.

Is what a nerd would say.

But I'm cool now.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Let's get back.

Let's cut the shit.

Uh-huh.

And let's get back to what we were here to discuss, figure out, get to the bottom of.

You've become a cool dude.

And so you want to get back to that topic?

We must.

Yeah.

And do you know what I say to that?

What?

Yeah, whatever if you want to.

Because now, now, that's interesting.

That's interesting that you do that okay yeah that's really interesting isn't it because i'm a nerd yeah uh i used to be a nerd i was a nerd yes yeah yeah and i haven't transitioned uh to a cool dude yet i don't know if i ever will it's not a character

yeah what happens the nerd is not a caterpillar to the cool dude's butterfly

you know they are two different states of being

uh

let uh but i did go through a metamorphosis yes that's huge yeah quick one overnight uh yeah i woke up one day much like the uh much like the

lead

uh character of uh Franz Kafka's metamorphosis of course except instead of into a bug like creature I emerged a cool dude as you can tell uh

the patrons who are watching will know this I'm wearing sunglasses right now yes you are inside which is crazy

Like it's quite a dark studio in here, but I'm wearing sunglasses.

And that was the first thing I noticed right I woke up and and my the it was brighter

So the sun was coming through windows open They were open absolutely, but what I'm saying is my sensitivity of my eyes have gone up.

Oh, they're very easily offended see I couldn't see no, no, I'm saying that the brightness of the Sun

right

was at a level like, you know, when it's nighttime and it's dark and you can't see?

Uh

he kind of it was like that but for bright right

and i was like i had to reach i finally found a pair of sunglasses i put them on and i could see again that's incredible that uh that netflix film had that kind of impact on you netflix film bright

no no no uh here's the thing about bright uh-huh

uh it's do you know what's interesting about bright yeah

i'm i'm not uh i'm not a cool dude so i'm not going off topic i want you to know i'm going off topic.

I'm aware of it, and I will get us back on track about the cool dude stuff because I'm a nerd.

But can I explain to you right now?

Now, I'm a cool dude in his 30s, right?

So, if I was a cool dude in his teens, I'd be like, oh, God, he's going to talk about some fantasy shit.

Yeah.

Cool dude in his 30s?

Yeah.

It's like, cool, man.

That's that's cool that you like that.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like, not for me, bro.

Yeah, yeah.

It's you

stick to your icky.

Sticky to your icky.

Sticky to my icky.

Yeah, like

everyone sticks to a different icky.

Everyone's sticky to a different icky.

And

you're cool with that.

Like, you want to watch this bright movie?

Whatever the fuck that is?

Yeah.

I don't know what the fuck is that.

It's really smart.

It's actually about

race relations, but it's kind of buried under, it's like very subtextual.

It's one of the coolest, smartest

movies I've ever seen.

And I haven't even watched it, but I've seen the trailers for it.

But what we're here to talk about, sorry to be a nerd about it, you can dude whatever you want, bro.

Is how you turned into a cool dude, why you turned into a cool dude, when

you turned into a cool dude, and how being a cool dude has affected your outlook on life

and also your bank account.

Sure.

So, so,

oh, God, lots of questions all in one.

Again, it was that morning.

I woke up, couldn't see, had to wear sunglasses.

Also, I couldn't focus.

Everything was moving a million miles an hour.

Everything's going so hard and fast.

Like, literally, my brain was working differently.

And it wasn't until I smoked a marijuana

that I was like, oh, okay.

Okay, I can see clearly now.

I can think clearly, right?

Right.

So what I'm saying is that

I went through a physical metamorphosis overnight where I need to now wear sunglasses inside.

I need to smoke marijuana.

My ears, right, were thumping from the quiet.

It wasn't until I chucked on some rad music, both fully up to date with what the kids are listening to and some awesome old classics that my ears started to calm down.

I didn't know what was happening to me.

I didn't know what I needed.

It was through trial and error over about a two-week period

that I figured out all the things I needed to do to get back to an equilibrium.

It's like a vampire waking up and being like, you know, not knowing that.

And then once I figured it all out, I was like, hold on a second.

I'm listening to rock and tunes.

I'm wearing sunglasses inside.

I'm casually smoking marijuana.

I love brewskies.

Yeah.

Right?

Shit, I think I might be like a cool dude now.

Right.

Have you had a CAT scam?

And did they find anything?

What do they find?

Like, I don't give a shit.

Right.

Right.

Right.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, because the blindness and the ears.

And then the and then the medicinal marijuana, I imagine.

Sure.

I hope and assume.

Because even even cool dudes do it legally.

Is that fair to say?

Nah.

Right.

Well,

you know.

I think the coolest dudes buy from cool mom and pop operations that have been going for 40 years.

I mean, if you're in

Sacramento, Sacramento, California.

For sure, for sure.

Certain states in Australia, gotta go to your doctor.

Gotta go to your doctor.

Now,

it sounds to me like there's been some sort of bleed in your brain or...

Yes, that's what the doctor said.

Right.

And so the metamorphosis you talk about

per chance is maybe some sort of physical injury you've sustained that's then had ongoing effects

or

that's just how the fucking cool dudes do it.

Yeah, I don't know.

All I know is I need to wear sunglasses inside now and all the other shit I said.

Yeah, yeah.

And I've got three weeks to live.

Right.

Right.

Because like I know people that have

become cool dudes.

And usually that's just been through,

you know, just coming, just becoming themselves a bit more, feeling more comfortable in their own skin,

you know, not being too afraid to speak their mind without being an asshole about it, you know.

That sort of thing, confidence

and empathy are things uh usually the way i've seen other people become cool dudes yours has happened potentially because of a uh injury you sustained to your head

quite a severe one yeah right what happened uh i got hit by by a truck right

you're crossing the road or yeah yep and uh not your flat did it well it was on a freeway i was uh back home in the country with with uh so it was quite a big freeway

uh and there was like no footpath.

So I just tried to cross really quickly.

So yeah, it was a truck going 100 kilometers an hour.

Wow.

Did you break any bones?

Were you in hospital at all?

I couldn't say for sure.

You were blacked out?

You lost time?

I blacked out.

And when I woke up, all of these physical problems.

So you woke up in the hospital.

Or you dragged yourself bloodied and bruised

into your bedroom and recovered without

three weeks later.

Right, right, right.

So the story is starting to take shape here.

At first,

Zach's wearing glasses indoors.

He's a cool dude.

That's a cool thing.

That's a confident thing to do.

As we've picked apart the bones.

of the story,

uncovered the layers,

we found you were in a very, very bad accident.

Horrific.

A hit and run, I assume.

And rather than go to a hospital or have someone take you to a hospital, you somehow managed

like Daniel Plainview

from out of the oil well all the way into town, dragged yourself through, I'm imagining a desert.

No,

dairy, mostly dairy country, mostly.

So cows, past some cows.

Yeah, I got trodden on the pastures.

Pastures.

Into your home.

Which is in the city, right?

No, no, my childhood home.

Your childhood home.

My parents' house.

They went home?

They were away, yeah.

And then just sort of waited it out.

Yeah.

How did you eat?

I didn't.

I didn't for about five days.

Wow.

Wow.

Okay,

but hey,

you are a cool dude.

Uh-huh.

So, I guess the moral of the story, and it's probably a bit too early in the podcast

to be sort of

figuring that out.

But you can be hesitant to say it.

No, go for it.

I'm hesitant to say it because if I do, then where do we go from here?

I'm not willing to change topic.

I'm having to talk a little bit more about being a cool dude.

Like, we've established how I became a cool dude.

You can talk about the morals

and then I can answer any questions.

Because I know you're a nerd.

Yes.

And you probably wonder, oh, what's it like on the other side?

Now, I've been a nerd.

I dream of it.

So a lot of cool dudes probably can't talk to you about the difference because they've always been cool.

Yes.

Some are born into coolness.

Most, really, I would argue.

Yeah.

So because I've become a cool dude, I can tell you what it's like over here.

All right.

Yeah, maybe let's do that rather than get to the moral because I'm worried that

that just kind of wraps it up a bit.

You can do the moral.

I don't give a shit, bro.

I know you don't.

I know you don't.

But that's the sort of, I guess, you know, it's the devil and the angel.

It's the

battle between us: we have the cool dude.

He's cool with it.

We can wrap it up now.

What do you give a fuck?

I ain't give a fuck.

Do a 15-minute podcast, 10-minute podcast.

You don't give a fuck.

Whether we get to the moral or not, I bet doesn't phase you at all.

Morals,

pretty lame.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whereas me, nerd,

loves an ad break, which we might go to right now.

Whatever, I couldn't care less, unless it's an ad break for skateboards.

Well, let us know in the comments if that was an ad for skateboards.

Because if it was, then Zach, cool dude Zach,

really wants to hear that.

Do you want to just, in case anyone's just tuning in, break down

what's happened?

Yeah, I doubt anyone's just sort of

popping in halfway through, but I'm happy to know how it works, bro.

Oh, yeah, podcasts.

I don't listen to podcasts, bro.

No, no, no, neither do I, but I still have sort of like a

motion from Triple J.

Oh, nice,

nice, nice.

Um, uh, who's your favorite presenter on Triple J at the moment?

Oh,

gotta be Adam and Will in the morning.

Nice, nice.

That's from about 20 years ago, or I think something like that.

Yeah,

but you know, they were great

anyway.

we're here with cool dude Zach.

He got hit by a truck, woke up five days later in his family home, was a cool dude, couldn't see, couldn't hear, put some sunglasses on.

Now he wears them indoors, mostly to protect his cataracts, not his cataracts, his eyes.

And now we're going to find out

just the kind of things that have come your way.

Since you've been a cool dude, but we're not going to address the moral yet.

No, there is a moral, apparently.

So I'm a cool dude.

Mark's a nerd.

Be ignorant.

This is a bit of a cultural exchange here.

It really is, isn't it?

More than anything.

I'm excited to learn what's been happening in nerd world since I've become cool.

Yeah.

Mark's

probably pretty keen to hear about being cool.

Absolutely.

I can fill you in.

Robert Downey Jr.

was cast as Doomsday.

As Doctor Doom.

Sorry.

Doctor Doom, bro.

Dr.

Doom, Victor von Doom

from the Fantastic Four.

He was someone who went up in the, I don't know,

different origins, I suppose, but

went up in the fucking spaceship with them.

Shit, cool, bro.

He also got powers.

Yeah, check that out.

I like Robert Downey Jr.

But he got evil.

He thinks he's the best one to run the world.

But so Robert Downey Jr.

is going to be in the Avengers

Doom's Day.

The Russo brothers are back directing.

Cool.

All right.

As they did with

Infinity War and Endgame, which you were a nerd when those came out, I believe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, but I've forgotten a lot of it now.

Right.

Russo Brothers, directors, they're just like, what do they do?

They do movies.

But like, are they like the ones that organize the money or whatever?

No, they're the so the director.

So you don't know what a director is?

Like, I kind of do.

Like, I know, like, Spielberg.

I guess you're too cool to.

Yeah, I don't really engage.

Yeah, they're the ones who go, put the camera here.

And then they say to the actors, do it more like this or do it less like that.

And then.

The nerds excited about Robert Downey Jr.

coming back?

He's cool.

Yeah, like, I guess, you know, mixed response from the nerds.

Okay.

It's not like the nerds.

I know, it was very surprising that there was a discourse about it and people just weren't like, oh, yeah, whatever.

It doesn't doesn't really matter, whatever.

It doesn't really matter.

Maybe that'll suck.

I don't care.

Yeah, yeah.

Some people were like were fucking wanted to go to war like they were just

furious which was a surprise um i quite like you see my opinion as a cool dude yeah i like robert downey jr i'll check it out yeah sure or like or even like oh not for me i won't check it out doesn't matter get on with my life

both valid yeah and and rational um what else is going on in nerd world

uh

well you know they did another game of thrones tv show called House of the Dragon.

Cool, man.

Second season came out a little while ago.

I liked the first season.

I didn't watch the second one.

I can't tell you why.

What else is going on in Nerd World with Mark?

Nerd World,

they cancelled Warner Brothers

Studios, shut down a bunch of their game development,

a bunch of their video game studios,

which canned the Wonder Woman game that was coming up from the same studio.

I believe the studio is called Monolith.

I might be, well, was called Monolith.

I might be mistaken there.

Please tell me in the comments if I'm wrong.

But now, can you believe this, Zach?

Now the Nemesis system cannot be used in any other video game until 2036, I believe.

Can you believe that?

No, I don't know what either of those things are.

Well, of course you don't.

You're a cool dude.

I played Last of Us 2.

That was fun.

That was great.

It was good.

Well, Nerd World with Mark, season 2 of The Last of Us TV show on HBO, starring Pedro Pascal and the Little Lord from Game of Thrones.

Cool, yeah.

I watched a couple of episodes of that.

That was fine.

Yeah, that's coming out in April.

That's what the casting was pretty good.

Yeah, it was great.

Surprisingly, a lot of discourse about that as well.

Really?

Yes.

Nerds have opinions on that.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, they got very mad.

Wow, okay.

Some of them got very mad.

About that game, too, that you played.

Really?

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that was pretty good yeah it's good it's a good game yes some people uh some people had uh

surprisingly yeah people had a lot to say really yeah yeah yeah what what what what what what did they say oh real crook stuff oh okay

stuff that's just like

i can't even think of what they would have said i liked the first one and i liked the second one i played uh on the weekend yeah

Maybe you liked one of them more than the other.

That's fine.

No.

No, me.

I liked the second one more.

Yeah.

It was good.

Thought it was fun.

Yeah, I thought it was good.

So that's what's going on in Nerd World.

That's sick, man.

Yeah.

What's going on in the world of cool, though?

Because that's a world I've never had the privilege.

I've never had the ability to step into.

And if I can live vicariously through your pardon the pun, cool shoes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, bro.

I'd love to.

Well, you got any questions, I guess?

Because I don't know where to start.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So when I

get home,

I

take off my glasses because I'm a nerd.

Yeah.

I strip down completely naked.

I stick my head into the washing machine just to make sure that there's, you know, there's no critters or creatures

kind of hiding in there.

Well, more just like bugs and,

you know, anything that can get into my ear at night.

Yeah, sick, bro.

I try try to make sure they're not hiding in there.

It's fine.

I do this fully naked.

I just go into the room where I keep my cats kitty litter that I refuse to empty because it's like nature.

It needs to be like nature.

I take in that stink and that stench.

And then I sit down on the couch and I unwind.

with a little bit of TV.

That's awesome.

Yeah, my couch is like, is Velcro,

but the

sharp bit.

Oh my God, I see what's going on right here.

You're on your phone.

Yeah.

You don't give a shit about what I have to say, do you?

No, not really, bro, but that's fucking sick to you, man.

That's part of the fucking cool charm, isn't it?

That's awesome that you can.

Oh, I love that.

I love that.

Yeah.

See, I can't do that.

No, that's really cool, man.

I have to, I think I mentioned this before, but I'm like a sponge.

I suck it all up.

If you were to leave me in a shallow, in a basin with a shallow amount of liquid in it

in about half an hour or so, 45 minutes, that liquid would be in my body.

And you're back on your phone.

Yeah, cool, man.

Holy crap.

Like, whatever, bro.

Is this something you can teach?

The ability to disconnect when someone is speaking to you

earnestly

and thinks they're your friend and wants you to be their friend.

Can you learn how to put all that aside and just go on your phone and check your messages, even though, like, you did it four seconds ago and you didn't have any messages then either?

Yeah, sick question, bro.

No, I had 20 messages.

Wow.

Well, of course you did.

You're a cool dude.

People are trying to get in contact with you.

I'm sorry for a soup because when I check my phone, I got nothing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I maybe got my mum being like, can you come visit?

You know, I reckon when your phone vibrates, you go, oh, something, I got a message.

I have the same emotional reaction when it stops vibrating for a second.

It's just constant messages from all my

mates,

all my dames,

all my,

you know, just all the cool people.

Yeah, wow.

Cool people want to collab with me.

What's the coolest person that wants to collab with you?

And will you do it?

Yeah.

Coolest person wants to collab with me?

For sure, bro.

Just some dude I know.

And their name?

I can't remember.

Right.

Because you're.

Because you're cool or because you can't remember because.

I don't know.

I'm going to assume it's because I'm cool.

Right.

They exist though.

It happens.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, like, you didn't really ask a question, though, bro, about like what it's like to be cool.

That's true.

What I meant was when you're so my couch, it's like it's very uncomfortable, but I like it that way.

I sit down on it butt naked.

He's back on his phone, folks, already.

Oh, sorry, bro, were you talking?

Of course I was.

You said you didn't ask a question.

That's it.

To be fair, that's on me.

I'm explaining the things I like to do when I get home to unwind, to chill out after a hard day of work.

And that's not very interesting to a cool guy like you.

Yeah, nah, man.

What are you watching on TV when you're talking about it?

Ah, sick.

Not a lot of TV, bro.

Really?

Yeah, yeah.

So.

Unconventional.

And that's cool.

You were saying you need to relax after work?

Yeah.

That's probably because you have to like work hard in order to get approval.

Yeah.

Bro, I just like come out, come to work,

like flirt a little.

Really?

With who?

Just everyone, my bosses, my co-workers.

Wow.

No one's going to find me.

I might get promoted every couple of years.

Right.

Then I come home.

It's chill, man.

So I usually go on a date.

Wow.

You got a bag of them

in the pantry?

Oh, shit, bro.

I'm so sorry.

No, I'm not talking about dried fruit, man.

Oh.

It's like taking someone out for a drink or whatever.

Oh, shit.

People still do that?

Yeah, bro.

Man.

Oh, man, I've been out of the game for a long time.

Because I've been in games.

You know, online, bro.

I get it.

Yeah.

Dropping off that battle bus.

Yeah.

Getting down the loot lake.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, bro.

i get it yeah clicking heads it's funny you talk about doing the laundry

i'm not i'm not very uh i've aged out

you know my reaction time whatever bro yeah it's funny you're talking about doing the laundry checking the laundry i don't do the laundry bro really

yeah it just happens what do you mean by that i'm cool yes

so i just sort of wake up go to my cupboard put on some cool clothes.

Right.

And then you're not washing them.

You're not folding them.

No.

You're not not putting them away someone must be no

really i don't live with anyone

it just sort of kind of happens bro right i've never tripped over that have you ever tripped over yeah i've stumbled i've i've fallen oh and then like has that happened to me this morning and then you look around and you're like did anyone see me trip over yeah that has never happened to me bro wow since being cool yeah which happened about six months ago right god it's been that long.

Yeah, yeah, bro.

I had not noticed.

So I, uh, nothing happened to me.

What, what's shit that, like, goes wrong for you sometimes, bro?

Um,

well, like, sometimes when I'm, uh,

and sorry to go into poopy territory straight away.

That's sick, bro.

Yeah.

It's where my brain goes.

Uh, sometimes when I'm using my bidet, I love to use my bidet.

Um,

uh,

Sometimes when I, oh shit,

sorry, cool dude's just gotten a nerf gun and is just loading it up, firing some shots.

And then just put it down.

Like you don't give no fang.

Yeah, whatever, bro.

Sometimes when I'm using my bidet and I have a rather good bidet, an electronic bidet,

I'll shoot the water up my up my butt to get the...

That's some like Japan shit, bro.

Yeah.

Seg, man.

But

this is a Brisbane

company called Tudaloo.

And this is not, we are not being paid.

To talk about Tudaloo, but I want to be clear, I just love that product so much.

Yeah.

You don't have to pay $2,000, $3,000 for a Japanese import.

You can get a beautiful, beautiful electronic bidet

for about $900 from Toodaloo.

Bro.

I can get the basic one for even cheaper.

If I was a nerd, I'd be like, stop saying that for free, bro.

But I'm cool, so I don't give a shit.

I love to support things that I love.

And

I know you probably supported me.

I've never loved nothing.

But I don't give a fuck.

I don't give a fuck because I love it so much.

I don't love nothing, you know what I'm saying?

I just want people's anal issues to be gone.

But anyway, sometimes I'll shoot that water up my bum, clean it out, and sometimes too much water gets up there.

Yeah, it's sick.

And then when I go to push it out, it's kind of just like shitty water comes out.

Like a big, like,

sounds like you're douching, bro.

Well, yeah, I guess that's kind of what I'm doing in a lot of ways.

So I guess that's actually not going wrong.

Maybe that's part of the cool attitude is that

everything that's maybe wrong, everything that could be bad, you just need to put a positive spin on it.

Yeah, but also, nothing bad happens to me, bro.

Right.

Um, this morning, yeah, talking about tripping over, uh, parked my car.

Uh, I walked, I walked the wrong way to where the ticket machine was.

I've never done that, bro.

You always know exactly where the ticket machine is.

Yeah, I just walk and then I find it, and then it's there, and then I pay.

That's unbelievable.

I've never, since I became cool, yeah,

nothing wrong has ever happened to me, right?

That's uh, surprising.

It's better for cool people.

Yeah.

In what way?

Mark.

Oh, my God.

Okay, wait a sec.

Sack just took his sunglasses off.

I'm very confused.

Mark, I'm not cool.

What?

I've never been cool.

That was a test to see if you would accept people for who they are.

And

because we more just had a discussion about it.

Yeah, it didn't really set your parameters very well.

Yeah.

You should have, at some point, before you took the glasses off,

I don't know, asked, like,

does this change your opinion of me?

Or

because then I would have been truly tested.

I don't know.

But now

I do have opinions on Last of Us.

Which are

you didn't like it?

No, I did.

I liked two as much as one.

I thought it was a perfect continuation of the story.

I thought the casting of the TV series was good, and I feel kind of of strongly about it.

Balla Ramsey.

But I also think that the TV series was a little bit too much on the side of writing and coverage and not enough on the visual storytelling tradition of horror.

That's because I too am a nerd.

Well there you go, everyone.

Two big nerds having a conversation.

And let me ask you, dear listener.

But I will say I could care less about the Robert Downey Jr.

thing And anyone that has a strong opinion either way, nah.

I saw a comment about that the other day that was like,

I think we jump to judgment too soon as a society.

I am waiting for the trailer.

Which I thought was funny.

I'll judge this whole film upon viewing the one and a half minute trailer.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Fools.

Well, what a wonderful

dissection of culture we've had today.

And I ain't talking about dairy

or yogurt.

All right.

Well,

there's four minutes until our guest arrives for our next episode.

You want to fill till they get here?

I'm happy to.

Yeah.

Just so everyone at home listening knows, the podcast is officially over.

It's ended.

Go about your day.

We're not banking them though.

The guest is to talk about next week's episode.

Yes.

That's correct.

We would never.

But if you have like arrived at your destination and you've gotten to this point in the podcast, you can switch off.

There's no more podcasts happening.

You don't need to worry about

going, fuck, I should, I'm going to sit in my car and be late for work.

or if you may be walking your dog and you got your headphones in and you've come into the house you can take those headphones out there's nothing of value from this point on you've heard the cool chat

we did that we summed that up

and now we're just filling and it's nothing interesting so just us talking shit yes well hang around if you've got the time Sure, who knows, something good might come of it.

If you're not doing,

if you are just relaxing in a bath

or,

I don't know, you're getting a massage,

whatever it is, you can keep listening.

Having a bath or a massage.

Yeah.

Hot.

What do you mean?

It's hot.

Because listening to the bottom of the body.

There's a lot of skin.

A lot of skin on skin.

Yeah, beautiful.

Hot water on skin.

I had a two-hour bath the other night.

That's fucked.

You would have been a little prune.

I was pruning.

I usually struggle to have baths.

I get anxious.

People with penises having baths.

Baths are only erotic if you don't have a little willy floating there.

Yeah, they float.

They float.

It's full on.

It's been the

one great thing in my life has always been when people have seen that, usually partners, and didn't know that that was a thing.

And this is people in their 20s.

It's me, Moogie.

Oh, my God.

Can you believe it?

Moogie Woogie is here to Moogie Woogie Boogie like we know they want to.

Moogie Woogie Woogie.

We love Moogie here on the Auntie Donna podcast.

We love Moogie so much we put him in our Netflix series.

Moogie, what you doing, Moog?

I just came from Moggy Woogie Land.

Moogie, when you're having a bath, does your cock float?

Moggy Woogie doesn't have a cock.

Moggy Woogie has a floating fluff.

A floating fluff?

That's the Moggie Woogie genitalia for the closest equivalent to male that we have.

Moogie, I feel, can I tell you right now, I'm feeling a tremendous amount of guilt.

Can I explain to you why, Moogie?

Why, Moogie?

Why, Moogie?

Because I told people earlier to switch off the podcast if they were done with their day.

I told them that there was nothing worth listening to post this point.

Oh, no.

Little did I know

that a legacy character like Moogie Woogie would pop in for a surprise appearance.

I potentially robbed so many people.

Moogie Woogie!

They're going to have no idea.

They're going to have to hear this on the subreddit or on the forums that Moogie Woogie actually appears.

Please,

please,

get the word out there.

Don't listen to Mark when he says, turn the podcast off if you've got other stuff to do.

Hang in there, Moogie.

Moogie Woogie.

Moogie, what you been up to?

Moogie

doesn't have a penis.

Moogie Woogie has a floating fluff.

Yeah, we.

And then the female equivalent of the moogies release their eggs in spores.

Spore moogies.

And then the floating fluff catches the egg spores.

Like flowers.

And then releases the floating fluff and grows a new one.

And that floating fluff floats through the air, forming

embryonic moogie woogies that each create their own spores and blow out into the moogie wookie wind.

Holy shit.

I had no idea that's how moogies.

I didn't even know there was more than one moogie, to be honest.

The moogie woogies procreate through the wind.

Wow.

There's a big field in Moogie Woogie Land where the Moogie Woogie spores turn into babies.

Holy shit.

No one knows who their real parents are.

When you want to be a parent, you just go to the field, you pick a Moogie Woogie, and you take them home.

Jesus Christ.

Your whole thing with adopted children trying to find their real parents makes no sense to Moogie Woogie.

Of course it wouldn't.

When it's done in such a way, there's no attachment in that.

Does everyone need to become a parent in Moogie Woogie Land?

Yeah, Moogie Woogie lets anyone be whatever they want in Moogie Woogie land.

What happens if there's an excess of children?

What do you do with those leftover children?

Moogie Woogie doesn't want to share that.

What happens to them?

Humans wouldn't understand this aspect of Moogie Woogie culture.

Moogie, what happens to them?

Moogie does not want to share that right now because I don't think that humans would understand this aspect of Moogie Wogie culture.

Well, try and make us understand because it's sounding pretty fucked up to me.

Moogie Woogies

have no attachment to their young.

Right.

Okay?

And if someone wants to be a parent, they go into the field, they select

their child.

Right.

And then I can't imagine that every child is getting picked, Moogie.

There is often 100 Moogies born out of one spore.

What's happening to those excess Moogie babies?

You don't want to know you wouldn't understand.

I want to know the truth.

You wouldn't understand.

This is an aspect of Moogie culture that is for us.

And perhaps we will share it, but you wouldn't understand it.

It sounds funny.

You would see it as barbaric.

It sounds barbaric to me.

Well, we think a lot of your ways are barbaric.

Like what?

Like, like what, Moogie?

Why are you coming to Moogie?

Why are you coming at Moogie?

You have to understand that in anthropology, sometimes you're not going to like aspects of the culture.

But if you try to change me, you are doing what your colonial forefathers did.

Moogie, I think you're right, but also it's pretty fucked.

But also, you're right, but also it's a bit.

Well, I never said what the Moogie Woogies do.

Well, I need to know because I'm just assuming you leave them to die.

We've got to go.

I have to go.

You're wrong in that assumption.

So they don't.

You would never leave.

Leave.

Oh, you eat them, don't you?

No.

I'm not going to share that.

With you.

The fact that you're not saying it says to me that it's something you're ashamed of.

No.

It's something that you know morally is included.

You can't understand it.

You're coming with your

allow me to even try to understand it, Moogie.

You're not even giving me the chance to try and understand that.

You're judging me.

I have shared this with humans in the past and they haven't understood.

Moogie culture is a rich and complex one.

One bad human, one when?

When did you do this?

What, 100 years ago?

50 years ago?

100 years ago?

We've changed since then.

We've developed.

We've grown.

Our moral compasses have evolved.

The humans humans are too much of an important trade partner for the Moogie Woogies.

I think it is unfair for you to judge us on our past mistakes and not give us a fair go at trying to understand your culture.

You have already demonstrated a lack of ability to hear me on my terms.

It is our culture, and I wish not to share it.

As long as you're not eating them, I don't have a problem.

It's our culture.

To eat them.

No, I'm not saying what we do.

Moogie Woogie loves to boogie,

yeah, yeah, it loves to be fucking withholding.

I love to boogie with information, I love the boogie at the Moogie Woogie Club.

Moogie Woogie loves the boogie.

Thank you so much, everyone.

Thank you, and we'll see you uh again.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donner podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by auntie DonnerClub.com.

See you next week.