Triplets: A Twins Saga Feat. Gareth Reynolds

A listener production.

Welcome to this week's episode of the Auntie Donner podcast, where we feature another Mark in the Markiverse.

We're very excited for you to meet him.

If you want to see the video and some other very, and I'll use the word cool stuff, head to the Auntie Donner Club powered by Patreon to see the video version of this, but also lots of fun shit we do.

We work really hard on that and we want to make good content.

So we hope you enjoy it.

And we hope you enjoy this episode with superstar Gareth Reynolds from The Dollop, one of the biggest podcasts in the world, who was lucky enough,

we're lucky enough to have him come hang out with us.

He also does a podcast called Here to Help, which is awesome as well.

Enjoy this episode.

Chat soon.

You're listening to the Arnie Donner podcast.

The greatest fucking podcast in the world.

Brother Mike attack and sometimes a guest.

We hope you enjoyed the motherfucking podcast.

Welcome to the Arnie Donner podcast, folks, earlier this year,

at some juncture.

At some juncture, sometime, sometime in the past.

You and I know.

Six months.

Could be a week.

Could be a week.

Doesn't matter.

But we're not banking them.

We're never.

And Merry Christmas.

Now,

you met earlier this year, Big Thick Mark.

Because Mark, who is the best.

And we loved Big Thick Mark.

Now, if you didn't hear that episode, he was the fetal twin of Mark, who ate Mark in the womb.

But then Mark came back canonically.

No explanation.

We didn't address it.

But luckily for us,

sadly for us because Mark is gone again.

Mark's gone away to get death.

Mark's gone to death.

He's gone to death.

He's dead again.

But luckily for us,

luckily for us, there was a third fetal twin.

We've now found out it was triplets.

Triplets.

Much like the long gestating film starring Eddie Murphy alongside

twins.

Yeah.

Oh, they're the third twins.

They were working on a third one called Triplets starring Eddie Murphy as the triplet.

Much like that film.

That didn't happen.

That didn't happen.

I'm trying to use it as a metaphor to...

Paint an image in people's family.

But that film doesn't exist.

It doesn't help.

Well, it exists in the mind of a number of hollywood executives and a script the one that got away yeah there's probably a couple of scripts we found the third twin with the triplet i'm trying to explain the concept of triplets oh yeah because a twin yeah so much like the um would it have been called triplets i believe so yeah yes or it would have been called twins two twins plus one twins plus one twins two triplets twins third triplets twins two twins triplets a twins saga yeah it would have i reckon it would have been i reckon it would have been called twins something

because of the branding yeah that's true what about triplets um yeah triplets a a a twins adventure that's good

um we found a third twin please welcome american mark hello hi hey american mark awesome to keep the franchise going yeah do you think of yourself as a triplet or a third twin i think of myself as the third twin okay i really thought i had that one in the bag triplet is not I'm not going to get too pronounced, but yeah, triplet is not the preferred term.

Okay, okay, yeah, sure.

Do you like twins, a twin,

a

twins?

What is it?

Twins.

Twins.

No, triplets.

A twin saga.

Saga.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

I mean, are you asking me for my branding or for the branding of the twins franchise?

Because for the twins franchise, I think you're right.

The twins, colon something

is the way to go.

But for me, I don't mind triplet a twin saga.

See, I think what you get there is you get triplets, you get the creatives are happy because that is the natural extension of the series.

It should be called triplets, but the execs are happy because twins is in the title.

I think everyone wins out with triplets a twin saga.

And we've all seen recently Jenny Nicholson, wonderful YouTuber, breaking down the way that Disney has moved away from simple names for all of their IP to being these the Star Wars Adventure World Circus adventure.

leaves you more opportunities that yeah was months ago oh totally but that's the thing with YouTube is I can click on it right now and watch it again I see your point sorry we should explain American mark we've been accused in the past of banking podcast episodes of doing them months in advance and do you you understand you're betraying your audience by doing that right absolutely which is why we don't this is why we need this is it should be a focus every week for you to be fresh they want our podcast as fresh as possible as close close to radio as possible.

Podcasts are like produce.

Yes, absolutely.

Yes.

Yeah, we are the Baker's Delight of Podcasts.

Yes.

Now, what do you look like?

Well, I look a lot like Mark.

Yeah.

But, okay, so if you look at the Twins franchise,

one of them was great looking, and one of them was the crap left over.

And are you saying that's Schwarzenegger is

the good one?

The winner.

He's famously good looking compared to Daddy DeVito.

Now, I don't think that's a controversial take.

No, I think, and I think that take, even if this is a banked episode, will age okay in like a few months.

I don't think any, I think everyone loves Danny DeVito, but I don't think anyone's.

It's in the script.

In the script, he's called the crap left over.

So I...

Is he really?

Yes.

He had to be okay with it.

So he has signed off on calling him the crap leftover.

I know that beauty standards are evolving at a rapid pace now with TikTok.

Absolutely.

Like very quickly evolving.

I don't think, even if not that this is banked, but even if this is banked, I don't think the beauty standards are going to get to a place where Danny DeVito is more attractive than Arnold Schwarzenegger by the time this comes out.

So if you were to call,

if you were to do the same thing with the marks, I would be the crap left over from the crap.

So I'm the crap's crap.

As far as the mark.

But like,

if I was to pick two things that define Mark visually, one is big beard and the other one is where's his shoes.

Yes.

Now,

do you have a big beard?

Huge beard.

Yeah.

Huge, much, much larger.

I laugh at OG Mark's beard.

Really?

To me, that's a clean shave.

Is that an American Mark thing?

You know, the whole cliche, everything's bigger in the United States.

It's bigger, it's better, and I laugh at those inferior because it's American.

And I don't think it's wrong to say we're the best.

No, everyone knows we're the best.

No, I don't think that you think that that's wrong to say.

I agree with that.

Okay, that's lawyerly, but yes, exactly.

Yeah, yeah.

And then the shoe thing, he never wears shoes.

Yeah.

I don't acknowledge shoes.

Wow.

But you wear them.

No, I won't wear them.

Okay, right, right.

I won't wear them.

I won't acknowledge shoes.

No, and I won't acknowledge that others have them.

Do you like my shoes?

I don't see them.

See, that was a test.

That was a test, American.

Those are bare feet to me.

Wow.

But mine are better.

This is hard for me because I don't know if these are Americanisms or I don't know if these are Mark fetal twinisms.

That's true.

So what I believe, and please correct me if I'm wrong with American Mark,

is that what's happened here is American Mark is the fetal twin,

third fetal twin of Mark,

and is American,

born and raised.

Yes.

Springsteen kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah.

Bandana in the back pocket.

Are you a bit of a Springsteen's type American?

Absolutely.

Yeah,

best musician of all time.

Oh, yeah.

No shoes, which I love about the guy.

Okay, cool.

Never worn shoes.

Look at pictures.

Show me a picture of him.

Oh, well, there's no internet.

Yeah, well, I have to take your word for it.

Yeah, no, he's never worn shoes.

Nor would anyone.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, yeah, okay.

I wear shoes.

Have you seen the cover, like the poster for the Devil Wes Prado?

Yes.

And the book cover and stuff.

Yes.

What do you see with a foot?

Yeah, right.

There's a foot.

Yeah, okay.

Because I see a shoe with a heel.

Yeah, yeah.

There's there's like

a heel.

It might be in the print here, but no, that's not something I see.

Do you think the boyfriend is supportive?

The way that Entourage Boyfriend has aged has changed in society.

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's true.

I haven't seen it

since it came out.

So I was there being like, you go, I don't know, I don't even remember.

But he's aged poorly.

Well, yeah, people are like, Entourage Boy, he needs to be more supportive.

Yeah, that's fair.

For the the mentalist,

he's evil.

Yeah, the mentalist.

Horny evil.

But, Mark, the other twin was.

Is he wrong to call best Mark?

Is that crazy to be asked?

Your best mark?

Yeah, is that mark?

Would you like to be called best mark?

I think so.

I think I'm the best mark out of all the marks.

I think

we might discover more marks.

I'd love to be back and I'd love to try to hold on to the title.

I think I'll prove to you I am the number one.

You have to answer these questions three.

One being,

what's the best lunch?

Oh, it's a great lunch.

Oh, the best lunch is a burger.

Okay.

He's going to wheeze.

You take pizza and you wrap it around the burger.

Wow.

And then you sort of skewer it like toothpicks with fries.

Wow.

You dip it in ranch.

Wow.

And then you have a big, big soda with beer in it.

What I love about a big soda with beer in it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See, what I love about this answer is not only is it correct, but it's American mark.

Yes.

Because the best.

You're not going to beat that.

This is really the test here.

It was like, was he going to say like a pasta?

A vungale.

No.

Because Mark's Italian.

Mark's Italian, and he loves pasta vungale.

Yeah, well, he would.

I mean, that's what makes him kind of the lowest mark on this totem.

Well, he's the Italian mark, isn't he?

That's what we're learning in the mark universe.

Are you Italian American?

Are you just straight up?

I am better than the Italian, but I'm fully American.

You're fully, full American.

Yes, yeah.

Like we invented pizza.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, cool.

Wow.

Yeah, wow.

He's more American than he is Mark.

Yeah, but that's what we're learning.

Yeah.

Big, thick, Mark was Mark, but big and thick.

Yeah, yeah.

You've had that.

We've had that.

You probably thought it was okay.

He was pretty fun.

Yeah, he was fun.

You got the best.

Yeah, and you got the best around.

Yeah, wow.

Remember that lunch answer?

Did I bank that answer?

Do you remember that?

The mentality of being best potentially is an Americanism of American Mark.

Do you see what I'm saying?

Like the idea of it's less about being the best Mark and more so about being an American saying we are the biggest, we are the best.

But we are the best.

And the biggest.

Exactly.

See what I'm saying?

Yeah.

And the best.

I don't need to ask the other two questions.

You don't.

No, I'm pretty confident I understand who this American.

Now, if you were to ask original Mark or Big Thick Mark three questions, you'd probably get through all three of them to try to evaluate.

But notice that my one answer was so good that that you don't need them.

There's an efficiency, a clarity.

Yeah, I really respect that.

Do we tip him?

Do we have to tip you, American Mark?

It would be great, yeah.

I'll leave a little survey at the end, and then, yeah, I mean, it would be great to get a little tip.

Very cool.

And if you have American dollars, I know you guys spoke the dollar, which is such a strange little move, but uh, in American dollars, the best dollars.

I don't know what's mark about him now.

Do you want to do it?

There's very little mock.

The beard is

no shoes.

Do you do sketch comedy?

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

Okay, the best sketch comedy.

But what, yeah, okay.

So it's really good.

When you do

characters, yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, what do you do when you do sketch comedy?

Big characters, big songs, fireworks, just big, big stuff.

Long things, but people get their money.

People are like, whoa.

You know, it's a lot of pyrotechnics, but the characters are developed too.

This is American.

It's not just kind of like, you know, your little like, hey, I'm a wild guy.

And some guy's like, hmm, I'm talking nuanced, in-depth.

Like, really, we go little plays.

Yeah, little plays is a great way of putting sketches.

I actually afford the term sketch.

What's the best night for a sketch comedy?

Friday night.

Okay.

But you can make every night Friday night when you're doing a show good enough.

That's what we say.

That's what they say on Saturday Night Live, don't they?

Yeah, so they say it's so good it feels like Friday.

That's so good.

It feels so frightful.

Yeah, not a lot of people know that, yeah, but that's a good insider tip.

That's good.

Do you do character comedy?

Yeah, I can.

Do you like stuff if that's right have do you know like do you do the same characters as mark so if i was to say silly boy yeah you do silly boy the silliest boy

yeah and whatever you like about silly boy it's better well we don't like silly boys but silliest boy you'd like oh okay yeah it's to the nth degree it's i push it i get it there you know what i mean like in a way mark is there mark original mark created

so that best mark could run yeah wow i like him

I like you guys.

I feel good about myself.

Like, there's more salads here as well with this Yusuki.

Like, we don't have the variations of healthy food, surprisingly.

No.

Because people think of like, you know, America's the fat, you know, big food, but you also have more healthy options.

Absolutely.

Well, I think, of course.

Whatever you want.

Like, let's say you want a tempura.

We invented that.

Yeah.

So we can get you a tempura.

I think Japanese Mark invented that.

I'm not, as an American, as American Best Mark, I don't want to get into that because I don't want to get any controversy.

Californian mark roll, yeah.

Yeah, there's a California mark roll, which is great.

Also, if you're looking for healthy options, we made tomato paste on pizza a vegetable.

You did, that's true.

So that's true.

That's pretty cool.

It counts as a vegetable.

Can I see Silly Boy, your silliest boy?

Sure.

Hi, silliest boy.

Hello, Blue!

That is cool.

Are you on board with that?

Well, it's silly, but it doesn't make me feel sick like Silly Boy.

Yeah, see?

And what did you not say that that's an upgrade?

Well, absolutely.

I mean, I hate Silly Boy.

Yeah.

Whereas

I don't dislike Silliest Boy.

Yeah.

You know, and that is an upgrade.

Silliest Boy's palatable.

Yeah, he's palatable, and that's.

And Silly Boy isn't.

And I'll even say that as a Mark.

Yeah.

And I like Mark.

He's just not where we need him to be.

Yeah, that's a very good point.

You know what I mean?

And you guys kind of got, you guys are with him, and that's fine.

You're the mark the world needs.

We may not like you,

but we need you.

You need me.

I'm the hero you need.

And by the end of all this, you're going to go, wow, he was doing, he was ahead of the game.

Yeah.

He was banking episodes that I didn't know I needed.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah.

That's pretty cool.

Can you never leave?

I don't want to leave.

And I can be here.

And if you're talking replace.

Yeah.

That's possible.

It is in the mix for me right now.

That is possible.

You've got to understand, we grew up, we're sort of of a generation.

We grew up with a lot of American culture.

We got Space Jam.

You're welcome.

And we got the Chicago Bulls.

Yeah.

Very similar to the

era we grew up.

Yeah, yeah.

Early edition.

Early edition.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We got Early Edition.

You know, I cannot, and I talk about this a lot on my other podcast.

Whenever I see Kyle Chandler in anything, all I can think of is Early Edition.

Like all I can think of.

He's one of the most established characteristics.

Friday Night Lights.

Yeah, Friday Night Lights.

coach.

Argo?

Argo.

He always plays like a sad dad.

But all I'm thinking is that newspaper's just through that door.

He could be saving people right now.

He's got today's newspaper.

That guy, well, he's here dealing with a young

Al Fanning who just saw aliens.

He could be off saving people.

Early edition.

Yeah.

That never has a role start with an actor more.

It's a good concept.

It's a great concept.

So much so that it's ruined Kyle Chandler for him.

Would you bring it back and he's getting a digital newspaper now, like on his iPad?

Yeah, but it's all just weird opinions.

It's just like Breit Party.

It's just really like he's like, okay, I guess people are going to turn on this guy tomorrow.

Which brings me to my next point.

American Mark, America has never been more divided culturally.

Or better.

Or better.

Go ahead.

Yeah, and politically.

There is a great divide between the red and the blue and almost these factions of these extremes.

That's really political, bro.

Yeah,

and the extremes at either spectrum.

What's your thoughts on that?

That is the way to get the best out of somewhere.

You do your best work when you're getting the hardest notes.

And that's what we're doing to each other.

We're running a diagnostic on ourselves.

If you look at America right now, you might say it's never been more divided, but answer me this: Has it ever been better?

And the answer is no, it hasn't been.

I was going to say a different word, but then you convinced me.

Exactly.

It has never been better.

And you might be,

you might see us, I didn't love that.

You might see us shedding our previous skin right now.

So right now you might be watching going like, it's a little gross, it's a little slimy, it's a little icky, we're going to come out being the best butterfly we've ever been.

Yeah, okay, I hope you're not.

Butterflies started in America.

Really?

Yeah.

I think they start as caterpillars, but did the caterpillar, are you saying the caterpillar?

Yeah, they started there then.

Yeah.

I think you're just like, I don't want to throw baseless accusations here, but I think you're just sort of saying something started in America.

And then, like, even when we challenge it, you're just adjusting, moving the goalposts.

And isn't it really impressive how we do that?

No, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

No, no, no.

Go ahead.

Follow what?

I think he did it again.

Or did I?

Or are we just kind of like celebrating what happened a little bit?

Yeah.

Yeah.

My boys.

Back to early edition.

Go ahead.

Was the cat bringing the newspaper?

The cat was just there with the newspaper when he got the newspaper.

So it was just he would open the door and the cat was there.

I don't think it was a magic cat.

It was a magic newspaper.

So for anyone listening who is under the age of 30?

40?

Sure.

Early edition was a short-lived show.

It went for about three seasons starring Kyle Chandler, in which he would get the early edition of the newspaper.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

Well, that's just the one that's.

What's a newspaper?

What's a newspaper, firstly?

So a newspaper, basically, for anyone listening, a newspaper is basically how we used to get the news.

It was a sort of large, big piece of paper.

They printed the news on it late at night, and then they would distribute it throughout the day.

I think we're good on newspapers now.

And what he got was a newspaper that the early edition was a term.

An early edition was they would print different ones throughout the night as news got updated.

But this was a very special early edition.

This early edition told the future.

It was, he got tomorrow's newspaper.

Today.

Today.

And he would use this power of tomorrow's newspaper to,

you know, maybe, I remember the one humorous opening scene before the titles.

He knew that

someone would fall from a tree, so he was there to catch the child.

Because the newspaper must have said the exact time of the child.

By the way,

catching a child from a tree, possible?

Yeah, no, you'd just hurt yourself for it.

Yeah, like

a couple arms would get broken as well as a child would die.

Cynical from you, American Mark, but fair and scientifically, probably.

Oh, I want the best.

So I think it's okay to give that note to say, hey, if we're going to redo it or something like that, all right, let's think of it.

Let's get a robot involved or something.

You know?

A robot.

You like robots?

Oh, I love robots.

We invented those.

I love robots.

We love robots.

We have great robots.

I don't know if you've seen what we've got.

We've got little dogs that shoot fire at them.

They're robots, I should point out.

You get little dog-fire robots.

You heard me.

What?

You got a little dog.

Little robot dogs that'll shoot fire out of them.

All right.

Are you okay with that?

I'm starting to sour on best minds.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're very sugary.

You're like sugar.

When you came in and you were like, stop this.

I'm the best one.

I am.

I was like, yeah.

You are the best one.

I'm just starting to feel a bit tired and sleepy.

But we had like a great thing going.

You guys were

vibing.

But where's the other bot fired though?

Well, I'm just trying to show you that we look.

I forget I said that.

Come on.

Come on.

Remember when I answered Bruno's question about

the division?

How great was that?

That was, he did answer that.

You know what I mean?

Don't forget, look at this beard.

Look at the length of this beard.

I'm starting to think it's a little bit too long.

No, come on.

Well, I'll trim it a little bit.

I can trim it a little bit big, but it still has a bit of structure.

It's a gross beard.

I can structure this a little bit better and still beat OG Mark.

Okay.

Guys, come on.

Don't jump ship yet.

Don't forget to invented the caterpillar.

Yeah, but I just think you're getting a little diss.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I'll do anything.

Come on.

Let's...

Come on.

I'm really not.

I feel like we're...

Broden, don't, don't jump.

Zach, come on, guys.

Hey, hey, hey.

I'll wear a shoe.

You want me to put on a shoe?

I don't give a shit.

I just think I'll put it on.

I'll put on some shoes.

It might help.

Yeah, but I don't want him to put on shoes.

That's not shoes.

I'll put on shoes.

I'll recognize your shoes.

And then I won't put any on.

Okay.

Does that sound good?

Yeah, but come on, Zach.

It's not like I want you to.

You feel like Broden.

He's got a better.

Come on.

Stop this.

Stop.

I'm call.

Please.

All right.

I just, I love you guys.

Hey, can I talk to you in the kitchen, Mother?

I'd love to go there.

We can go there.

Hey, speaking of kitchen, remember the lunch?

The burger.

With the pizza, with the fries, with the soda, with the beer.

I didn't want to say it then, but I don't really like ranch sauce.

We don't need the ranch.

You don't have to dip it.

It's an area to dip in if you want the option.

I'm giving you options, buddy.

Ah, it's just, you didn't say it.

I love it.

Yeah, but you don't have.

It's not.

I never said you're pouring it on there.

I love you guys.

I never said you're pouring it on there, okay, man.

All right, good, yeah, we'll dip it.

Do you mind if I just talk to Broden in the kitchen?

I do not mind, I do not mind at all, but I also think that maybe we should all go to the kitchen at some point after that, too, and have a little bit of a hangout.

Yeah, sure, would love that, would love that man.

Excuse us, yeah, yeah, excuse us for just a moment, all right,

walking

hey man.

What's up?

Hey, how are you feeling about American Mark?

I'm a little off him, if I'm being honest.

He's very very full-on.

I love him.

I love America.

He's lying.

I love America.

Can I be really honest with you?

Yeah.

I don't like that he's compromising so much.

I really liked he had integrity.

He stood by what he stood by.

And that was something I really liked about him.

He is bending in the wind, isn't he?

I didn't like one thing about the robot dogs, and now he's dropped everything.

I saw you emotionally just when he said the fire, I saw your eyes drop.

I'm I'm willing to give him another shot yeah

if you are what would what would he need to do he would need to really pull it out of the bag you know he would really need to impress me he would need to have season tickets to basketball or something

you know that's what they do in America season tickets

season tickets it's tickets to the basketball for the whole season of basketball so he would need season tickets to the basketball for you or just to have them for me

you understand do you want to go to the basketball no but i i mean this is to illustrate he would need tickets to a premiere at the tcl chinese theater

okay season tickets to the season tickets to the chinese theater every premiere there is that a thing no

but this is why he would need to get me on board i like mark i have a strong history with og mark yeah american mark is better yeah but to make up for the depth of feeling and

you build up a relationship with the man over 12 years.

So he's really going to have to pull it out of the bag.

Okay, great.

Well, how do you feel about American Mark?

I don't know where original Mark stood on most things, to be honest.

And

he was a man of no conviction.

Yeah.

So you like American Mark?

You're on board?

At least I can feel something with this man.

You understand, though, if we do this, we do this, there's no more OG Mark.

Yes.

He's not coming back.

By the end of this episode, we will definitively have chosen American Mark or O.G.

Mark.

Shall we get back in there?

Yeah.

Hi, American.

My boys!

Hey, buddy.

How was the kitchen?

Yeah, it was great.

It was really good.

How you made it?

Oh, really good.

I'm glad you guys had that time to go do your thing, and I'm fully comfortable with that.

Yeah.

And, yeah, it's just awesome, you know?

And I hope what you guys do in there?

Eat?

I think it's important to tell you.

Sure.

Only one mark may live.

Oh my God.

Oh, wow.

So this is just to be state.

That's great.

I love that.

Now, OG Mark is dead, but he's returned before.

If he returns again, we're going to have to make a choice.

Okay.

Yeah.

Well, I really think that, I mean, look, OG Mark was great.

You're right.

He had a great run.

But...

We're going to have to kill one of you.

I think that's super right and fair.

And, you know, punishment, capital punishment on that level, I mean, who do you think you're talking to?

But I think that it would be nice if both lived.

I agree.

Both should live.

But one could probably service us and work for us.

You know, maybe that's what OG Mark could be great for.

You know?

I mean, think about it.

I think that we, look, he's been great for you.

He's been great.

But let's get into the next generation of what this could be.

Sure.

I mean, you know, we've done.

And I'll trim the beard.

Like I said before, I don't mind trimming the beard at all.

Okay, you don't have to trim the beard.

I'll lose it.

I'll shave the beard.

Okay.

Here's what I could do.

I could shave it and have a fake beard.

And I think that would be great.

Okay, sure.

Sure.

If that's what you want to do, man, it's not really about the beard or

no, I'm not trying to make it so.

Yeah, you know,

focused.

It's not an easy thing to have to kill a man.

No, no, but I'll carry it out if we need it.

I'll do it.

No problem.

Oh, you'll kill Mark.

Without question.

Okay.

I'd love if we could get them to do a little like, you know, a duel.

Like, throw a knife in the.

Sort of a Heath Ledger in the job.

Oh, we throw a knife.

Yeah,

throw a little knife and see what happens.

Sure, I'm down for that.

I mean, both and I, would you like a knife each or do you want like a knife in the middle?

Go.

I think a knife in the middle would be good.

It's fine.

There's a theatricality there.

I agree.

Exactly.

Do you

have basketball tickets?

Do I have basketball tickets on me?

Yeah, do you have a...

Well, I don't want to...

I don't want to...

You know, he has to offer.

Oh, okay.

There's something you have to offer.

Okay, I feel like it's basketball tickets.

Well, not just any basketball tickets.

76ers.

Well, it doesn't matter the team.

Ronaldo.

WNBA.

76ers.

It doesn't matter the list.

Can I just say it could be 76ers.

How many games?

How many games you want, buddy?

What do you want?

We could go what do you want?

Seven games?

10 games?

30 games?

20 games?

82.

82 games?

Sure.

Yo, you're talking season.

You want season tickets?

How about this?

Season tickets to the 76ers.

He sat up in his seat.

76ers basketball game.

76ers basketball game and road games.

So I'm talking home game and road games.

And road games, you two will be riding in a little car that says the 76ers on it, like a couple of little 76ers boys.

How about that?

And some Wendy's burgers.

And you guys love Wendy's burgers.

And if you want to wrap it in pizza with some French fries pretending they're toothpicks with ranch, that does not poured on it.

It's It's not poured on it, my man Zach, because I know you're looking at me with that.

But, Broden, you might like ranch, and I just want to keep that opportunity open.

Wow.

You could do that.

We could do that.

I can make it happen.

Let us go to the kitchen again.

I really don't like when you guys are going to the kitchen.

I feel like you guys go to, and I'm all for it, but I feel like you guys go to the kitchen and you come back with a head full of ideas that aren't, you know.

One of the times I'd love to be invited to the kitchen.

Okay.

Go to the kitchen.

I don't give a shit.

Whatever.

I'll make a phone call.

I got a bunch of emails to bang out, so I'll email you.

Yeah, a lot of people email me.

Excuse me, Shorts okay, for us to go to the kitchen?

Yeah,

yeah.

Okay.

Where are you sitting?

Well, I mean, he has season game tickets to the basketball games.

So for me, I think that was.

Look, I don't feel good killing Mark, and I don't really like basketball, but I'm a man of my word.

And I said that if he had those tickets, then I'd go with him.

I'm happy to go with him.

So you're a man of your word.

All right, great.

Well, I feel the same.

I think we're casting him.

Okay, should we let him know now?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right

my boy yeah hey buddy hug what should we hug uh yeah we can hug hello hello hello we have news

um listen uh obviously we haven't let everyone know yet we haven't uh talked to the behind-the-scenes members of auntie donner yet sure um

you're getting emotional well yeah a little bit um

Because, you know, one of my friends has to die,

which I think is a bit of a hint of what we're about to say.

We do need you to keep this under wraps until we've told everyone.

Okay.

Particularly Mark, because he might go on the run if he finds

OG Mark.

Okay, I like where this is added.

So we really do need you to keep this in-house until

we've killed who needs to be killed.

But Broden, did you want to?

We'd love you to join us in Auntie Donna.

Oh my gosh.

As the Mark.

So not even Best Mark, not even OG.

Mark, Mark.

Mark, Mark.

Mark, Mark, Mark.

I'm honored.

I do have to.

Let me ask you this.

And I'm excited, so I don't want to be.

Let's not go, but let's not bank that episode and let's stay in this one.

But how

important was the 76er part of the pitch to you guys and making that decision?

Pivotal.

Because I feel, okay, pivotal.

Pivotal.

Because I just feel like we had so much going on before that.

And when you guys went to the kitchen, I was checking my emails and I made a call.

And

what I promised on some of that is harder to deliver than maybe I initially thought.

Well, I mean, that was why we were so impressed.

When you said you had season tickets to the 76ers and the game, and the away games, and you get your car, and all that.

All of those things.

That was all a big part of your.

Well, I mean, I knew how difficult that would be to get that.

It turns out it's incredibly difficult, you know.

So we're very impressed that you were able to achieve that.

And I think that was a good idea.

Yeah, but but I'm just saying that if that were to change a little bit, let's say it wasn't,

let's say we didn't get the car and you didn't get the away games and it wasn't a 76ers car and the Wendy's part of that falls away.

What does that do?

Because I'm just telling you right now,

I want to give you the reality that that part is hard.

As I was sort of looking into it, again, if you guys hadn't gone to the kitchen, I don't know.

Maybe I wouldn't, maybe that reality wouldn't have hit me.

That it is on us for going to the kitchen, I suppose.

The kitchen trips have seemed to be pretty detrimental detrimental to this whole thing, if I'm quite honest with you.

I mean, I'm still good to go with it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because up front, it was a great sell.

You know.

And just so you, the actual full season home tickets to the 76ers is also,

it is a hard thing to get.

That's okay, it's fine.

That's true.

So that part of it.

I'm pretty chill.

Yeah.

You guys are

awesome.

And I feel like I don't know if part of this is that you want to get rid of OG Mark or if I've

hit home run after you.

No, my biggest concern is you playing

your Gareth and

you don't live in Australia, so that's my biggest road bump.

So, yeah, sure.

So, for me, there are a couple of questions I do.

Sure, sure.

Yeah, you're Gareth Reynolds, and you've done

you've already, so you live in the US?

Correct.

You're just here

on a tour.

For two more days, correct.

So you leave in two days.

Correct.

That's a shitload of becking.

Two other podcasts that are significantly more popular than ours.

In every way.

Are you willing to drop those podcasts, drop your name as Gareth Reynolds, and also move to Australia permanently?

And cut all ties with families and cats and that part is wild.

That's part of it?

Yeah.

You have to completely become Mark.

Fully become Mark.

You know, you have to...

I mean, it is.

Let me ask you guys this quickly.

So the podcasts I do, The Dollop and We're Here to Help, they have hosts.

Would either of you be comfortable becoming the newer version of those guys?

No, no, no.

That sounds insane.

So you're saying, like, we need to become.

You'd be Jake and you'd be Dave?

Yeah.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Oh, yeah, it feels right.

You'd definitely be the Dave.

It feels right.

I was like, yeah, you're definitely the Dave, but I'm the Jake.

Yeah.

I think I'm less the Jake than you're the Dave, but you're so.

I'm very late that I've become the Jake.

Yeah, I'm putting on the Dave now.

Yeah.

So you want to continue doing a version of like the dollar paid.

I'm saying it sounds like we all need to kill a host we work with.

People have to die.

Three people would have to die for this to work, but if you're in, I'm in.

I feel like we're just talking about the details now, but we are going to kill three people.

Mark is, OG Mark is gone.

So OG Mark,

I think for the fans,

Grievan,

he's dead.

He's gone.

That's okay.

He's still alive now, but by the time you hear this, the box.

What's the cat?

That was just a joke?

Yeah.

That was just a joke at the start.

The Schrödinger.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's Schrodinger's Mark.

Yeah.

Yes.

So right now, as you know.

Schrodinger's Mark is right.

So yeah, but at the start when we said Mark was dead, that's not true.

But now.

Now,

as you listen to this, we'll have killed him.

We've talked.

The only question is, do we want to kill your co-host?

Jake.

Oh, so I killed Jake.

Is that the idea of I have killed Jake?

Well, no,

no, I fight.

I better kill everyone.

Broden would murder Dave.

Yeah.

I like this.

And I also like there is an element of fairness.

What we're essentially talking about is consolidating the three people.

Yes.

Yes, vertical integration.

Consolidating all three.

We're going to get to a place where you'll do, you know, maybe dollop on the Tuesday, Donna on the Wednesday.

And then you've got this sort of situation.

And we are saying, yes, I'm committed to that concept.

But also, who knows who's going to win?

Right.

Between me and Jake, I mean,

he's climbed the ranks of Hollywood.

I don't want to get too cynical either as well, but the RSS feed would be awesome.

It's going to be great.

Like, we just convert them all into one of those five.

We're talking

about cutting the fat.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, and I think what we're really committing to here is like whoever survives the knife fights.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The best will survive.

And again, I mean, I know not to bring it all back to America, but that's a lot of what's going on there.

I'm over the bit.

I just want to ask you now, Gareth.

You're Marin.

You're in the show Marin.

Yeah.

We had a house.

Our house in Arnie Donner's big old house of fun is the Marin house.

Yes.

And we didn't realize until like after we made it.

That someone just owns a house

that just

makes tons of Hollywood money off of.

Yeah, it's out.

And you felt like you had ownership over.

Like, this is our house.

We were like, this is the house.

Did they build a set for Marin's house on a soundstage?

No, Marin was location.

Yeah.

Because all in the house.

In that garage at the back, which was full of shit when we shot there.

We put our video village in there.

That's where the director and shit sat.

That's a studio.

Yeah.

But the inside of shit.

Yeah.

The inside of our house.

You mean actual shit?

Like, no, no, no.

Like chairs and dust and things?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's the, that, that wasn't like.

That was actually.

We were just sitting in.

We're sitting in Mark, but it's not Mark Maron's house.

It's Mark Maron, the character.

Fake house.

Fake house.

His real house is just like that, though.

Right.

His real setup is just like that.

Is it still like that, or has he got like a fake Mark?

Is that Mark Maron, like a fake Mark Maron?

Without his layers.

Yeah.

Is that where you go when you Barack Obama

sat in his real garage thing that happened?

Yeah.

That was cool.

He sat in his real garage.

Is that a fake house now that he has, or he's like, this is a fake garage?

It's all real.

Except on the show where it's a fake one.

But we did the same house.

Yes.

And we built a house that...

looks like it would have the same frontage on a soundstage.

Oh, right.

But then when you went in the house, it was laid out entirely differently.

Right.

And also, I put on white because of all the yummy snacks.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it was all those yummy snacks on an American production, and I ate them.

And so on that show, whenever I step outside, I'm fatter.

You know, is that part of the character?

It's just like, well, I'll just step outside, then I'm just a little bit fatter each time.

Every time we're outside, that's the bad.

That tiny bit fatter, and then I'll go back in and sleep.

Looking good again.

That's so funny.

Yeah, the weight gain is uh the hardest when you're shooting you just do eat so much

and then you just really need to you really need to be aware of you shooting all your location stuff at the end of the shoot yeah it could get a little weird yeah for the super fan is like I think this was a set slow it down because fat Zach is here

skinny Zach fat Zach

And then the fans are just like, I think this is them trying to do a bit outside of the bit.

Fat Zach.

outside zach zack snack zack snack that's good yeah it's the same house that's all i wanted to say no i wasn't in marin very i'm in marin very briefly but i just did his podcast and it's wtf uh

it's available wherever you get podcasts check out uh talk about banking episodes and um and it is it's still the same setup it's the house and then in the back he's got his little podcast he's got the best setup you guys like cats as well love cats we had a long cat chat after the show And let me, that guy, he's playing 3D chess when it comes to cats.

He had this like little cat house outside that goes outside of his window where his cat can like explore outside of his window without being an outside cat.

Jesus.

And I'm going, this is.

This guy loves cats.

I love cats.

Look at you.

I'm not a cat guy, but I love like.

fun shit.

And I think the main reason I would want a cat is to do like a world little cat.

Totally.

Oh, yeah.

He really definitely shares his place with cats.

That's amazing.

Yeah.

You had to think about living in a house with your cats and how, like, and then when you were moving, someone's like, and you'll get rid of the smell of the cats.

And you're like, what?

Oh, yeah.

It doesn't smell here.

That was crazy.

When I moved, I left my apartment and I was trying to get my security deposit back.

And the guy was like, yeah, we'll give you like whatever, you know, $1,300 out of the $1,800.

You know, there are a couple of smudges on the wall.

And then we obviously have to just get the smell of the cat out.

And I was like, the chemist knows the smell of the cat?

What?

And he was like, the cat smell, the strong cat smell.

And I was like, It doesn't smell like cats.

And he's like, Oh no, it really strongly smells like.

I was like, What does that smell even?

And he's like, You know, like cats, it's gross.

I was like, What?

It was like when you smoke and you don't know, you smell like cigarettes, and then you stop smoking and you smell someone, and you're like, Jesus, dude.

That was me with cats, and people were walking in my place just like

it stinks like cat.

Yeah, and I'm like, You want hummus?

We're staffy guys, uh-huh.

We're staffy boys.

Uh-huh.

I think my house smells like the like old bones.

but your house always smelled like old bones

i mean that had nothing to do with the staff that's why we used to call you old bones bro old bones

bowden bowden bowden old bones broden sticks of bones

That's what you're getting your security.

We just got to get the bone smell out of there, eh?

That's why I got a dog.

It smells so bad like old bones.

When my dog first walked into our house, he's like, this is going to be great.

We'll put bones over here.

This could be the bone room?

Yeah, you've already got that bone odor.

Heads up, bro.

There's no bones in here.

That's just my natural old bone stink.

Dog torture.

Place stinks of bones.

No bones.

What?

Oh, wow.

Well, thank you so much,

Gareth, slash American Mark.

Thank you.

Canonically.

To everyone listening, we're not going to actually kill people.

Oh.

No, that's important.

That's important.

Yeah, we don't want you off killing Mark.

Okay, yeah.

Okay.

So a lot of...

Okay.

Well, it's just like a comedy bit.

Okay.

Okay.

Just doing comedy for the pub.

I wasn't sure how.

Okay.

Do you live in California?

Yeah.

Yeah, great.

Yeah.

Now, you guys were on our show, The Pastimes.

And you were just on The Dollops Pastimes the other day.

What newspaper did you do?

We did one.

Oh, God.

1925 Adelaide.

Really?

When I heard 1925 Adelaide, I was like, this is going to be a good one.

Was it the advertiser?

Was it the Rufin Murdoch's father one?

He looked

like a great memory.

Well, it was all good.

I was just like, I don't have to do anything.

25 Adelaide.

That was the place hilarious.

It was called The Bunyap.

The Bunyap.

And they talked so much about shark attacks.

I can't tell you.

It was crazy.

It was doing its own callbacks.

It really was.

It was crazy.

It's sick.

It was great.

Oh, I will listen to that.

Yeah, but that was a lot of fun.

Well, thank you guys for having me.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming in.

Thank you for coming to our wonderful country.

Yes, you're welcome.

You're so welcome to come here whenever you want.

That's very nice.

If ever you want to to come here and what do we do good better than America?

This is tough.

This is tough.

We do great Southeast Asian food.

That's right.

Very good.

What you could go to.

Very good.

There's actually great.

Singapore or China.

Yeah, no, no, not better than Southeast Asia.

And there is good Southeast Asia

Southeast Asian food.

There's good Thai food in LA.

Yeah.

I will say this is the most American thing I maybe ever did was when I was in Thailand, I got a pad Thai and I was like,

I like America's pad tie.

US, hey, yeah, Australians do that.

Thanks, Gary.

Thank you, Gary.

Thank you, guys.

See you next week, everybody.

Bye.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donner podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie DonnerClub.com.

See you next week.

Listener.