Greg Larsen Has A Conspiracy feat. Tom & Greg

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Hello everybody, a very special episode of the Auntie Donna podcast.

This week, we've got Greg Larson on who has a very concerning conspiracy theory all about Auntie Donna.

It's not true though, but hear him out, have a laugh at this not true theory.

If you want to watch the podcast, you can watch it on

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Hi folks, welcome to another episode of the Auntie Donna podcast.

Today,

I've opted for a weird dynamic, which is to have you, Zach, as usual.

As usual, a pleasure to be here.

Always happy to come on the Auntie Donna podcast whenever you ask, Broden.

So thank you.

No worries.

Mark refused to come on today.

Yes, he refused.

And then Tom is a composer for Auntie Donna, prefers to be off mic, is willing to come on if asked, but would prefer not to.

Correct.

And you know them from many things.

Donna or Jason, you know them from Sky News when Chris Kenny said we were unfunny and untalented.

And they used an example of him performing as the worst part of Auntie Donna.

It's Greg Larson.

Hello.

Thank you for having me.

Now, this dynamic, I thought, strange, strange, possibly really bad.

Yeah.

But I thought it could be, you know, I don't, I just thought it's worth exploring.

I think it, um,

I think you got that classic

Curry Puns duo of Broden and Zach.

Classic.

Zach is the straight guy, me doing the silliness.

Silliness.

You have curry puns.

You've got Greg,

who can always deliver.

Yeah, always.

Deliver the bloody Uber Eats, not, because I'll eat it on the way.

Case in point, thank you for proving me right.

What a delivery.

And then you've got Tom, who has, you know, is a producer on the the footy with Broden Kelly and the Mission Zach podcast.

So he's very adept at just sitting back, throwing in a zinger from time to time.

Yeah.

It's four Johnny Biggs at a table.

Say he's throwing a zinger again and then say Johnny Bigging again.

Okay.

Something.

I'll throw in a zinger at every table.

But I hope he's throwing a zinger burger my way.

Yeah, see, and that's great.

And that's the kind of I'm what I'm anticipating today is now this might be a bit of a hard reference for some of our younger listeners.

It was a show called Hey Hey It's Saturday and that was a show that had lots of different people all throwing in their best gear all the time.

And that's why it was funny.

Google, like if you want to see Hey Hey, it's Saturday, just go on to YouTube and Google the Jackson Jive

Chris Chris Isaac.

No, no, it's not Chris Harry Connick Jr.

Harry Connick Jr.

And don't worry if you're watching that and you're ashamed of Australia, don't worry.

That was less than 20 years ago.

Yeah.

Neil Reunion show.

Yeah.

My My favorite part of that video is not the awful racist part.

It's when they come back after the ad break.

And

they come back after the ad break and it's Daryl Summers and

Harry Connick Jr.

And Harry Connick Jr.

has described to everyone, cast and crew alike, what racism is.

And he's delivering a speech where he, like, and he literally makes Daryl Summers apologize multiple times and then says, like, like I accept your apology but also like I if I had known this was happening I would never have come on this show like he won't

it's so good it's such a great moment in Australian television it's a piece of art because

it was a show they stopped doing the show they brought it back a decade later and it was like opening a time capsule and saying this is how we feel and then just going The world has evolved and what you're doing now, we no longer exist.

And exactly.

and the Australian media and the Australian people, they came out all in unison in agreement, and they said, No, Saturday, hey, hey, it's Saturday.

We do not accept this.

We are a progressive people.

And we never had in this country racism again.

And we never, and we have not had any racism since.

And it's been, it's a beautiful moment for Australia, I think.

It was a hard moment, but it was a watershed moment where Harry Cottick Jr.

banished like that saint in Ireland banishing the snakes.

He banished racism from our land.

And now he's on the piano,

the show where people play a piano in public and he watches them.

There's a show where people play piano in public and he watches.

Brad loves it.

Yeah.

Yeah, no,

I've watched it years.

So, Greg, you've got a bit of a conspiracy theory to share with us.

I do.

And I mean, you're sort of giggling and stuff, but it's actually about you specifically.

And I'm concerned because i think well i'm glad i'm especially glad that tom is on specifically for this um what can i just stop you for a second yeah can i check in how do you find this dynamic because i'm loving it of the greg cracking jokes tom laughing yeah tom's got that going on tom's our daryl summers yeah yeah i and i'm the um

the the dick the dicky knee yeah what are you doing in daryl

what are you doing daryl i'll do daryl i'll do daryl i'll do Daryl.

You can be Lavidia.

Hey, Diggy Nate.

Oh, Daryl.

You're a fucking cunt.

All right.

So next up, we got Will Smith here to promote Men in Black.

Now.

That's just to say, sorry to interject, Greg, but I love the dynamic.

It's a great dynamic.

I'm about to ruin, like, this conspiracy.

Okay, this is a theory I have.

I don't think it's proven, but I think it's very true.

This could be one of these moments in the arts where people go holy shit the curtains been revealed and Greg offered to share it with us before we rolled Yeah, we said no no it'll be fun for you to do it on here I'm regretting that yeah

because because here's the thing is like if

this episode cuts out you'll know I was right But then if it goes to air then I you still know because they the other thing is sometimes they'll just let you talk.

We have like the power to just go, we're not going to put this episode out as well.

Sure.

That's That's happened two to three times in 400, 500 episodes.

If this episode doesn't air, you'll know this is true.

Yeah.

So I share an office.

Like, no, I share it.

Like, I have like a little desk space at this big studio.

Okay, Michael Scott.

Where Auntie, thank you.

Where Auntie Donna have their offices.

There's multiple rooms.

The other day, let me tell you, I had a diarrhea event.

Okay.

And that's not relevant to the story, except that I wasn't in my right mind.

It's not relevant to the story.

It's not really relevant to the story.

I opened a wrong door in my haste.

Okay.

And when I opened the wrong door.

What?

Hang on.

What?

I know what this is going to be.

He opened the wrong door.

You don't know what this is going to be.

I reckon you think you know what this is going to be, but you don't.

But this has happened in pop music.

Before, and it's happening now with Auntie Donna.

Okay.

I opened a door and there were three fucked dudes in there.

And I mean fucked, like real gross looking fucked dudes.

You walked into our office instead of you're running to the toilet to do the diarrhea.

I was running to the office.

No, I was, I was, you, you, you guys weren't there at the time and I was running to your office to do a diarrhea shit in the, in your office, as I often will do.

And then in like, you know, in a place where you won't necessarily know where it is.

And

you were a bit lost.

You didn't know where the toilet was.

No, no, no, no.

I thought thought I was going into your office to do a diarrhea of shit in your office

while you weren't there.

Right.

So you were going to do a diarrhea shit in one of our pot plants, maybe?

Yes, yes.

Sometimes I do it behind the couch.

Sometimes I do it just directly on the floor and then put that mat back over the top of the couch.

And

then, like, and you know how it fucking stinks in there all the time?

Now you know, now you know.

But anyway,

deeply offended by that.

So I've opened the wrong door, and there were three just wretchedly ugly looking dudes in this room and they were like ah and they were eating like KFC or something.

I don't know what they're doing.

We do have an editing suite and I want to be very clear to our editors as they're editing

video.

He's not referring to you.

This is not an editing suite.

There's nothing in there but these three terrible looking men.

Just disgusting,

ugly

ugly men.

In like a Chaucer kind of way.

In a what?

Chaucer had this wonderful way of describing

hideousness in the in the elizabethan era

yeah and so they were like

they were they were the they were a chaucer

something

chaucer chaucer

pimples

oily pimple you know chaucer maybe not elizabeth more medieval yeah yeah yeah yeah hideous beasts they were hideous beasts of the earth with boils

yeah that's what i mean yeah yeah yeah, yeah.

They were hideous beasts of the earth.

Their skin crackled as

they shut the body.

You entered this office like the great Beowulf.

And I, like Beowulf, stood above them.

Chaucer, you know, the devil can only destroy those who are already on their way to damnation.

What?

Yes.

Patience is

a conquering virtue.

And these, yeah, yeah.

And these beasts.

These beasts of the earth.

Never is a flaky skin.

Yeah, that's good.

Weeping boils, shuffled through the room, scared of the light.

Now, Broden, I want you to say in your just normal voice, shut the door, shut the door.

Performatively or not, even performatively.

Just if I had opened the door and you were on the toilet or you had been caught or whatever.

On the toilet.

You're wanking.

You're wanking.

You're wanking.

You know, you're wanking.

Stop saying that.

You're wanking.

Like, I've opened the door and you're wanking away.

You're wanking.

just wanking.

You're standing on the couch, wanking.

And you're embarrassed.

And you go, shut the door, shut the door.

He wouldn't.

Because you're wanking.

You're wanking.

He just keeps wanking.

He makes like content.

He keeps wanking.

It's not true.

Entirely.

So you're wanking.

You're wanking.

I'm opening the door.

You're wanking away.

Yeah, stop saying that.

What do you say?

I say,

shut the door, shut the door.

That's exactly, exactly what one of them them sounded like.

Wow.

And that is exactly what one of them sounded like.

And one of them was going on about lasagna.

And it sounded exactly...

I don't know what you're saying here.

Like Garfield?

Do you remember Millie Vanilli?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you remember SNL?

Tom, do you know Millie Vanilli?

No, no, no.

Millie Vanilli.

They were a pop group in the 80s.

Oh, I thought it was a rap.

Two handsome, handsome men.

Handsome men.

How could such handsome men have such beautiful voices, they would say?

Yeah.

Well, they didn't.

They didn't have beautiful voices.

Someone else was singing the songs.

Clever.

That little girl at the Chinese opening ceremony.

The Chinese Olympics, Beijing Olympics opening ceremony.

How can someone so cute?

They found someone cuter and a better singer than Nikki.

Well, they didn't.

And exactly.

And I've heard rumors with every boy band and girl band, there's always a rumor that there's like an extra one that they were like, they don't have a face for it, but put them on the record.

I believe Chaucer, maybe he didn't write his own work, maybe he had a shadow writer.

Exactly.

And Shakespeare.

I believe

that these three

men, creatures,

creatures of the earth, creatures of the dark of the earth, beasts of the earth.

Yeah.

I believe that Auntie Donna, Zach, Mark, and Broden, this whole time have been lip-syncing.

How would this be playing out right now?

They are somewhere in this building.

Watch it.

So there's two ways that you are achieving this.

One is by recordings.

I think live shows are probably recordings.

They're well rehearsed.

They're tight.

You've got recordings.

One day you'll slip up and the recording will go astray.

But

the other way is...

And because if you work closely enough together,

you can watch someone.

It's like an improv game, right?

Like if you and me will try and say the same thing at the same time, like

whatever

we are

speaking

together, exactly.

And if you practice that long enough, you can then just do it like this.

So you are silent right now and there is these creatures are somewhere in this building.

Maybe they're not under the desk because I checked.

These creatures are there and you are lip syncing.

And I've been watching your videos.

I've been watching your sketches.

I I was watching put the other day something went out of I was like that's that's

it's not quite right it's there was a little bit of a lip sync

I was watching put I know Greg it is hard maybe for you to believe that three men as beautiful handsome stunning gorgeous as usual then that's all so

be funny and have fun because you are so ridiculously gorgeous yeah like it's and I've always and I have always wondered that and now it's all falling into place and and and it is strange Because I get so horny when I watch your videos.

It is strange.

Like, why?

It is strange.

Absolutely.

I will admit we are the only sketch comedy group

not made up of boys with foofy hair and beards.

Yeah.

I will admit that.

Yeah, you're like smoke.

It's three smoke shows.

Smoke shows.

It's smoke shows on the stage.

And people, before they hear us,

go, oh, I'm so sorry.

I didn't realize I was coming to a

men's modelling contest.

Or a porno taping.

A gay porno taping.

I didn't realize that's what I was coming to.

Or a best and less catalogue.

Yeah.

They're pretty good in there.

They're pretty handsome.

Yeah.

Or

that movie, Anyone But You.

Yes.

Yeah, Anyone But You, the Sydney set.

Oh, Sydney Too Hot, Sydney Sweeney and Glenn Powell.

Yeah.

I understand that what...

Should I not have said that?

No, no, no.

I just didn't know what you're talking about.

I understand.

And I was like, wait, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

We are the Glenn Powells of comedy, famously.

Yeah.

Greg, I understand that that might be confusing to you,

but

saying we have people with high the I'm an actor.

Is that what you're saying right now?

I'm sorry, I'm trying to get my head around it.

I'm just saying.

Because you sound a little bit crazy.

I'm saying you're lip-syncing right now.

I'm accusing you of lip-syncing.

I'm accusing everything you've ever done, every podcast, every sketch, get in the kiln.

That was the weird beast saying those words.

Why?

Because they have the right voice.

Because, again, you all have just sexually

discharged,

beautiful bodies.

You have sexually beautiful bodies.

And you also have just honey slick,

honey slick voices.

Absolutely, yeah, yeah.

Just these slick honey.

It's like someone's pouring honey into my ears

when I hear you talk.

And I've always wondered, how could you have the whole power?

It's often been said of us,

eyes closed or earplugs in, I can still come to your sketches.

Yes.

100%.

I get that.

Most meet and greets, I hear that four or five times.

Now you will.

We're shooting ropes.

You know, like

your viewers are shooting ropes.

But, Greg,

what does shooting ropes mean?

Ropes have come.

Yeah.

Ropes have come out of your dick.

Okay, continue.

The cum is so viscous and big that it looks like ropes.

Greg, mate.

Yeah.

I don't want you to feel embarrassed now.

There is a part of me that thinks maybe we should pull this episode because this is a little embarrassing.

Also, how are you feeling, Tom?

How's this doing?

And Zach, how's this dynamic working for you?

Well, honestly,

Greg is sounding crazy.

I think he's saying some crazy things.

Tom, I mean, you're obviously not going to admit it because you're on the take.

Yeah.

But, like, you know, you could give a little wink or a little signal.

In this world, is Tom hot?

Is Tom hot?

No, yeah, Tom's hot.

What are you talking about?

Well, Greg's doing a silly little improv bit for this podcast.

So I'm

like, no, no, it's very funny, Greg.

It's a fun bit, and we'll put it out, and it'll be a great episode of The UniDaughters.

Tom's hot, but your voice, and your voice is fine, but it's not honey slick.

No, no, it's not.

When you talk, I don't feel like there's honey being poured into my ears.

And

that's not an insult.

No, it's the truth.

Like, it's just like some people don't have that honey slick sweetness

in their voice.

Talk quietly into the microphone, nice and close and say, sorry, Greg, sorry for not having that honey slick voice you love.

Sorry, Greg.

Sorry for not having that honey slick voice that you love.

I know it sounds pretty honey slick to me.

I mean, it was kind of honey slick.

And it's interesting because you only saw three guys.

It was kind of honey slick, if I'm being honest with you.

It was.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

What are you talking about?

I'm fucking flying, mate.

Greg, mate.

I think it's a great bit.

It's a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit.

It is a very funny bit.

But I think just let's pretend the bit is legit.

Yeah.

And break down why it's a bad.

So it is, first of all, it is a bit.

This is a comedy bit.

But let's tell you why that wouldn't actually work in reality.

Have we hired the honey slick funny men or have they hired us as the brand?

Well, it's like

it's the, you know, not the record company because you're not a band, but, you know, it's the powers that be.

And who are they?

Who are those?

It's the CEOs, it's the corporate.

It's the suits in the city.

Who is the hired hand?

In the bloody company, in the beginning.

We're all hired hands.

The creatures are all.

Yeah, it's all hands on the hands.

It's all a fucking...

It's smoke and mirrors, you know, like it's all like,

it's how corporations buy and sell your fucking attention.

Right.

Just listen.

Like, it's like, you know, it's like, it's, it's, it's corporate.

It's like how Sex Pistols were like, oh, we hate the the queen, but it's like a company owns you and has created you to be a marketable thing.

It's the suits have gone, we want the sexy bodies and we want the honey slick voice.

Why compromise on either?

Let's get these beasts of the earth with their weeping sores who have the honey slick voice, and let's get these Greek Adonis, Greek god Adonis men who have the bodies that can get you a

rock hard 24-7 and let's combine them and train them up so that they can work in sync and you've been lip-syncing and this is like Millie Vanilli.

This is like, what's the name?

What's the name of SNL that did the little dance?

Jessica Simpson.

Not Jessica Simpson.

Oh, her sister.

Ashley Simpson.

Ashley Simpson, yeah, when they played the wrong song.

And don't you think after 12, 13 years, we would have made that slip up at least once?

Well, I mean, you learned from Ashley Simpson.

Maybe it's Ashley Simpson's company that owns you i don't know i think you've slipped up ashley simpson

they didn't play the wrong song they played the audio at the wrong time

yeah i mean she said they played the wrong song it was you know but

whatever the case was she was caught lip syncing sure greg you sound crazy you sound crazy It's it makes me think,

you know, like this is this is the thing where it's like that's gaslighting.

This is the you yeah, Tom's a green.

It's gaslighting.

When it's just making me,

I know what I saw.

I know I saw these three beasts of the earth.

Maybe you did.

Maybe you saw three beasts of the earth.

Maybe there is a secret underground office

that we have, and there are three beasts of the earth down there with the same voices.

Sleeping saws and boils.

Sure, maybe, but that still doesn't prove that we are lip-syncing to them.

I just think this is such a a good bit.

Yes, absolutely.

I just think it raises a lot of questions.

I'm just open questions.

And I'm asking questions.

Do you know how many people rely on us, Greg?

In what way?

A lot of us have partners, we have employees, we have...

I have children.

We pay the rent.

I thought you meant the general public.

And I was like, what do you provide to society as well?

We provide a lot to society.

It's not good.

We got everyone through COVID.

Did you?

Yeah.

But was it the doctors and the healthcare workers that did that?

Yeah, but then when they were at home, they said they watched our sketches.

As I was just talking, my fat belly popped my button of my shirt.

Oh, yeah.

But that's a sign.

That's a reliable source, isn't it?

Listen to this guy.

Greg, Greg, mate, I just want to say,

are you sure you want to keep digging on this one?

Because a lot of good people are going to lose their jobs.

They're going to lose their livelihoods.

I mean, I feel like that's sort of a veiled threat, if anything.

I mean, I feel like.

Well, like, you are being being libelous.

That's true.

Like, you are.

Isn't libel when you write it?

What's slander and what's libel?

Slander, libel.

It's all the same thing.

No, it's not.

One is when you write it down and one is when you say it.

Well, then this is slander.

Do you want to write it down?

I don't know.

Would you be comfortable writing it down, Jeff?

Can you just give me one second to Google

what is the difference between slander and libel?

What is the difference?

Yeah, we've got all day between

slander and libel.

I've spelled doesn't even know the difference between

slander and libel.

Spelled slander and and wrong.

The primary difference between slander and libel lies in the form of the defamatory statement.

Slander is the act of making a false and damaging statement about someone verbally.

Libel is the act of publishing or broadcasting a false and damaging statement.

So a bit of both.

And both.

Slander is spoken.

Libel is written or otherwise permanently recorded.

So you're in a minefield right now.

I'm in a slander-libel minefield.

But I have, and I, but here's the thing that you don't understand.

I have

already, prior to coming on this show, I'm not an idiot.

I've taken precautions.

A, I've written all this down.

Okay.

This is in an envelope.

And if anything happens to me, that envelope is in hands that will

matter whose hands.

Second of all, I have engaged a legal team and we are prepared to take you to court.

McAllister and Swan and Swineboy.

um greg yes greg

um

you know we're we're having fun this is a funny bit

okay it's real but yes it's a funny bit that gets doing here there's there's comedy involved in everything i do because i'm naturally funny funny guy um i just want to say we here at auntie donna we have other things that we really we don't talk about the business side of things all that often on the podcast we try to keep it light but we have other things we need to focus on okay um you know we we have your series your mouth just totally went out of sync then but yeah i just saw it i just saw your mouth go out of sync that's so it was a i just saw it happen that's very i literally saw it happen before my eyes did you well we'll check the tape back

um

uh greg i just want to say one thing man we've got to focus on things we've got that grousehouse rollout including your series we've got to make sure that gets the attention it deserves

i don't want to do that anymore oh really yeah i just not for this i just don't want to do it anymore i just don't want to do it anymore i'm bored of it you're cancelling the show.

Yeah, I'm announcing that.

I've quite a bit on that there.

Yeah, I'm announcing that now, actually.

Not for any reason.

I just want to make that clear.

I can't be bothered.

Okay.

Just stop it.

Yeah, just like get on a fucking Zoom and talk to the old concept.

Yeah, I can't be bothered.

I'm just bored of that now.

Really?

And that has nothing to do with this.

I just need to be clear.

Okay.

That is just, that is,

I just can't be bothered.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was going to be a bit of a veiled threat from me there, but if you don't care, then...

I just don't give a shit.

Well, I'll go back to the lawsuit thing.

Yeah, sure.

If you libel us,

we'll sue you.

Well, my lawyers, McAllister and Swineboy, will...

When's the last time you went to court?

We've talked about this.

It was to dispute a fine, a traffic fine.

Not a traffic fine, a Mikey fine.

And that fine was overturned.

And I won.

I had my day in court and I won.

And the time before that, it was for drunken, disorderly, and assault of a police officer.

And I, with a letter of apology, had no conviction recorded.

And the time before that, it was when I stole a cardboard cut out of Frodo Baggins.

And that was a suspended sentence, $500 fine, no conviction recorded.

Okay.

Can I ask you just a genuine question real quick?

I was, you know, that car park behind Comedy Republic $10 after five?

Yeah, yeah.

I

the other day I got a fine from there

for $100 saying you didn't pay, you didn't pay.

And it said it was $8.52, you left

and you didn't pay.

And then I went to my card and it says that car park, $8.51, $12.

Wow.

So I sent that.

I contested it and said, I paid it.

Here's the receipt.

And?

Well, we're waiting to hear.

That's interesting because that car park.

I parked there thinking it was open till 3 a.m.

on a Thursday.

It's not open until 3 a.m.

on a Thursday.

It was locked.

I then just had to get, I got got a taxi home.

I came in the next day, picked up my car, and I just was too scared to do anything.

So I just left because you don't, there's no boom gate or anything in Saccounts.

And then I was like, I guess, because I looked it up too, and I was like, the fine will be pretty much the same as the

cost, because it's like this huge cost when you leave it overnight.

So I'm like, I might as well just pay it later when they send me the fine.

And I just never, to this day, still haven't got the fine.

Even though we're not all that different, are we, Greg?

We're all just in this industry together trying to figure out car fines hustling and yeah some of us have maybe made some decisions we regret and we have to live with them right

but uh i don't think it would be advantageous for us to fight this out in a court of law or anything like that no i agree i like i that's the last thing i want to do is to actually take this to court i think truth and transparency is the is the way forward sure sure you know and i think that there's a world where you can have the six guys on stage, the beasts of the earth and the men

with the bodies that won't quit.

And you can like.

The beasts of the earth and the men of the heavens.

And the men of the heavens.

Yeah.

And they can

openly.

And that's the thing.

I think it's the deceit.

If anything, it's like you can openly lip-sync.

And it's okay.

You know, this is...

Why does it matter, though?

I mean, we're not doing that, but why would it matter if we were?

Well, because then it's just, it's transparency.

It's like the problem with Millie Vanilli is that they lied.

There's a lot of pop stars that have been, frankly, a lot more open about the fact that when they do live performances, they often will lip-sync or they'll sweeten it in the studio.

And in the world of disco, I mean, you got Boney M.

They were all lip-syncing and they kind of just didn't, they just owned it and they didn't really care.

No one gave a shit.

Boney M didn't have any of the backlash that Millie Vanilli had because Millie Vanilli lied about it.

In this circumstance, though, you are just not true.

It's just not true.

So, God.

Well, I mean, I just, I would put it to your listeners and your viewers

to just go through the tapes, go through the evidence, you know, go have a look.

Go to the live shows.

This guy does all our sound.

Well, that's why I...

You're saying Tom's a liar?

I'm not saying he's a, I like, I'm not going to, I'm not, look,

everyone's got to earn a paycheck.

People got to do things they don't want to do.

I buy cans of Coke all the time.

I don't support Coca-Cola as a company, but I keep buying them.

Full strength or no sugar?

No sugar.

No sugar.

It's very good.

Yeah, I just, I have.

Have you done no sugar vanilla?

I have.

I'm not a fan.

I really like it.

Yeah.

But, you know, I think,

I think...

You know, I don't want to put, because, you know, Tom's a working man.

I don't want to put anyone's job in hot water.

What do you want?

I feel like he's...

I just feel like, you know.

Come on.

What do you need from us, man?

Spit it out.

Are you lip-syncing?

Are we lip-syncing?

Are you lip-syncing?

Is that your real voice?

Yeah, I'm laughing too.

What do you want?

What do you need from us, man?

I just want to know.

Like, I just want to know.

Have you been lip-syncing this whole time?

Yeah, wow.

What a question to ask.

You are too much, man.

You are too much.

Yeah, I feel, you know, like

I think I've made my point.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

Awesome.

Well, Greg, thanks for coming on.

Yeah, that's a great.

That's a great Brit you bought.

A Brit.

A great bit.

Great Brit, Brit.

And look at that.

You saw his mouth fumbling there like normal.

Quickly, say my name.

Greg Larson.

Say it even quicker.

Greg Larson.

Say what burger you eat at McDonald's.

Quarter pounder with cheese.

That's not true.

He eats the fillet of fish.

Like a friend.

you eat a fillet of fish do you eat a fillet of fish

or does your beast eat a fillet of fish from time to time i

will have a fillet of fish yeah

your beast fillets of fish

well they look they they they they are sustained on a diet of seafood

no but we've i think i feel like we've established these beasts of the earth exist oh okay yeah no they subs they subsist on a diet of seafood your your

late theme is that they are just part of the team somehow.

Yeah, they just like, or they're just in the room, there's a room where they're in.

My claim is that they

I feel like there's,

yeah, it's it's it's it's known.

I know, I think we have now, yes, we have clearly established there are three beasts of the earth living in a so view over this,

there's a weeping sword.

So, in the ultra runner off, you say chaucer-esque when you say chaucer-esque.

Yeah, there's there's three doors.

Are they Kafka-esque?

Uh,

no.

Kafka's a little more metaphorical.

I think they are more.

Is this conversation Kafka-esque?

Yeah.

Is our comedy Kafka-esque?

No.

It's just shit and piss and come.

Like, it's just saying shit and piss and come.

Kafka or us.

Huh?

Kafka or us?

Okay.

It's not complicated or light.

Actually, I think you'll find we're actually quite clever, Greg.

Actually, I think you'll find we're quite clever.

It's actually some of the dumbest

comedy I've ever seen.

No, actually, I think there's some layers to our work that maybe you haven't picked up on.

We got people through COVID.

You keep saying that, but again,

it's the healthcare workers.

Scientists in Cuba

developed a vaccine before anyone, which proves that communism is the only true form of government.

But that's just the side.

That's just the side.

Come on our podcast.

Espouse your radical,

radical,

radical communist.

Yeah, well, maybe we won't pay you for coming on this podcast.

How's that going to feel then?

Oh, yeah, because you're such a bloody communist.

Do I get paid for coming on this podcast?

I don't know that.

We really appreciate it.

I really often hope something.

Oh, I'm not getting paid today.

No, no, no.

That's not how podcasts work, man.

It's kind of not fair that that's how podcasts are the most work out of all the things you do

the most, but it's outrageous.

It's not your fault, that's just the way it's done.

You don't get paid for podcasts, it's a give and return.

Yeah, it's like I get to plug something, you know, yeah, that show that you're not going to do anymore.

It's what you're plugging, I think.

Yeah, but it's like, but you don't bank these, so

no, this is this is hot off the presses.

So, so that show's been long gone, yes.

Um, Greg, yeah, mate, yes, um,

I just want to say thank you for coming on.

Thank you for sharing some of your interesting ideas.

I think it's such a great bit because we do so many podcasts every year.

And for you to bring in a great joke like this for this week is awesome.

Absolutely.

I'm so glad you got to meet the three creatures of the earth that live in

the earth that live in a fourth door that only some can see.

Where you open the door and you go down the stairs and they live on an earthen floor with three microphones.

And I'm so glad you got to meet them.

And they all have our voices.

Yeah.

But yeah, they're just a part of the team.

They're just a part of the team.

We're an ever-growing team.

Have you been well?

All I'm going to say is let the beasts of the earth free.

Let's see them.

We want to see them.

Make that.

And everyone

every post that Auntie Donna ever make, do not comment anything other than let us see them.

Show them to us.

Or something along those lines.

Every single time.

All I would say is that

they are free to go, but they know that we will always give them their fish.

Show us them.

They know that we give them their fish lunch.

And it's their choice to leave.

But then they're going to have to find their own fish lunch.

On Fridays, they're getting Villetto fish.

And we don't just

love them.

As an aside, can I...

Is there a way for

like me to get in on this fish lunch?

Yeah, can I get in on this fish?

fish.

But I'll toe the line if I can get in on this fish.

We got a guy from Port Melbourne who comes in every morning fresh and brings it in on ice straight out from the port every morning.

Beautiful stuff.

Beautiful.

A bit of red fin, bit of calamari as well.

Seafood lunch.

Do some marsh.

That reminds me of my favorite joke I've ever written.

Close us out with the

I'm on a seafood diet.

Yeah, I say, I'm on a seafood diet.

Oh, yeah.

What's that entail?

Prawns, oysters.

Yeah, the seafood diet's going pretty well.

It's a good joke.

Do you want to hear my joke?

Do you want to hear my joke?

Well, it's less of a joke, it's more of a parable, something to make you think.

So,

no, no, I think you'll get something out of this.

So,

a man walks into a doctor's office and he says, Doctor, doctor, I've been feeling depressed.

I've been feeling sad.

I've been feeling really,

really, I've been struggling to get out of bed in the morning.

And the doctor says, well, I'll put you on a prescription of SSRI tablets.

And he said, oh, but doctor, I am an SSRI tablet.

That's funny.

Thanks.

That reminds me of another parable where a guy goes into a doctor's office and he says, oh, doctor, I'm depressed.

I'm depressed.

You got to help me.

And the guy, and the doctor goes, well, you got to Google image search this thing called Goatsee,

which is a guy pulling his anus open okay all right craig all right you can full see inside and then he's like but doctor

that that that's me wow like i took that photo

and then the doctor shakes his hand and he goes i can't believe i met you can i get a selfie and then he's like he gets a selfie and he's like can i tell people he's like i don't i don't like i don't like to have my face associated with it, you know, for obvious reasons.

Like, I'm a banker.

You know, I work at Macquarie Bank, and I don't want that to get out that that's me in that image, and it's not me.

And then the doctor's like, Are you sure?

And he's like, Yeah, it's not me.

Some more hilarious absurdism from Greg there, much like the earlier statements about what our

beasts of the earth are doing for their fish lunch.

Thank you so much for coming, Greg.

Yeah, we'll see you at a fish lunch sometime soon.

Thank you so much.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donner podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by Auntie Donor Club.com.

See you next week.