The Moan & Groan Phantom Zone Zone

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Enjoy this episode if possible.

Well, well, well, it's that time of year again where we're...

No, no, no, no, please.

Please.

I'm making sure, Broden, that what happened last year.

You think I forget?

You think it'd be so easy to forget 12 months months on the issues we had last time i'm circumventing those issues you sound you sound horrible and this time thank you thank you just give me on christmas

you're gonna say that to me keep going sorry i'm sorry christmas is a time of year

and those can you if you can hear them bells be chiming

um thanks guys and uh christmas is a time of year where we remember love

jesus and the fallen soldiers and the fallen soldiers in all the walls

in all the walls in all the walls soldiers and walls are a bad mix

of the time especially if those walls are short

and

they need to run I beg you

just pull off a little bit well would you like to apologize for last year's mishap I'm so fucking sorry can you explain what happened last year for everyone at home that doesn't remember and there may be anyone at the table that's not quite clear and and and and to us social media people to make your life difficult maybe cut two All right, yeah.

What happened last year?

What happened last year was I was, I would say.

You're still doing it.

Even after I wasn't.

I'm not shushing you.

I'm shushing the bells.

The bells are annoying.

I'm going to find a nice.

I need to tell the story first.

Last year, I would say I was verbally assaulted, I think is the correct language.

Yeah.

Is you being funny?

I don't remember what happened last year.

No, no, no, no.

Verbally assaulted.

I started KK off with grand Christmas cheer.

I really came in hard with a lot of energy and a lot of verve because this is my favorite thing that we do on the podcast.

It's a little tradition we started.

And they don't make any money from that anymore.

We just roll the stones.

What?

Yeah.

What's this?

Because they just took the sample.

Can we just all agree if we have bells on our heads, daddy's got a headache, we don't nod.

But yeah, how sure I'm getting hit by the moment.

I've never ringed ding-a-ling in them before.

Yeah, but that was a concise moment.

It was a controlled ding-a-ling.

It was a controlled ding-a-ling.

Like a controlled ding-a-ling.

And if you're having problems controlling your ding-a-ling,

whatever sponsor we have

now, whether it's Bluntston Boots or Red Hot Sauce,

that just goes there.

Maybe we'll do

one for

doodles.

Now, I don't remember exactly what it was that happened last year,

but I remember feeling a similar kind of anger that I'm feeling right now towards you, me too.

Towards everyone else of the

abuse I suffered.

No, I just, what happened last year, Broden?

What happened?

He started with great energy, and I, whatever he did,

I corrected him.

You were rude.

Too close, too far.

It was about Mike

technique.

And did I, did I, what did I do?

And Lindsay, you just turned me down, don't you, Dad?

Was I guilty of, did I get, did I give in to peer pressure?

Was I involved?

Did I sit back?

I think you were very on the fence.

And that angered me more towards you.

I speak of you from memory.

I felt more betrayed.

My headphones just fell off.

Should have stood up to bullies for you.

Yes.

Right.

Now, Broden, Broden, Broden, if you

try to tease Mark while he does his introduction, I will cut off your legs.

You need a cutting.

It's a bit a year of cutting stuff off with this guy.

Now, we have Thomas

paints a visceral image.

Certainly does.

We have Thomas Sahari who here.

Maybe you've been playing Half Sword.

Zahari, who?

Sahari, who?

Thomas.

Hi.

That's who.

Who we love to have.

I'm a Luddite.

I've never listened to Auntie Donna.

I don't know who they are.

Lud Light.

Yeah, whatever.

I think it's Ellie.

I'm not going to Led.

I'm not going to.

You will just keep up.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Now,

I don't know who Tom is.

Tell us who Tom is.

Thomas Zahari who

is Thomas Zahariu.

Just some kid who went to school with Broden.

He's a Greek man who

has a wife and childs.

What's his relevant swansidono?

He makes the music.

He's the music man.

And what a better time to bring in the music man than on Christmas when music is a part of all of our lives or on Broadway.

Bro, you do need to keep it down.

Just don't move that.

Don't move that.

I think it's me.

No, it's both of you.

As is tradition on KK, we use drawnames.com to get our

draw names.

Shout out drawnames.com.

A wonderful website.

They get our data.

Yes, they do.

And unlike other years, this is a very particularly exciting year because I think all of us were told, maybe not directly, but I found out indirectly that we were doing this less than 24 hours ago.

So a very special KK this year, $10 limit still.

Should we go around the table?

Who exceeded or under or went under or went over the $10?

What are you saying?

Who?

What are you saying?

Let's start with you, Brian.

Did you...

Did you hit that number, that $10 limit exactly nail on the head?

Did you go a little bit under, Maybe $9.99, $9.95.

Or let me fucking finish.

I get what you're saying.

But let me finish.

I get the concept of what you're saying.

Did you maybe spend a little more?

I know you're extravagant.

Fuck, man.

How can you spend so long explaining how money works?

Fucking hell.

And then not tell them who Tom is, Mark.

I did explain who Tom is, but only after I pressed.

That's true.

And like a good journalist who works for the press, you've done your job.

Works for the press.

Yeah, journalist works for the press.

Hot off the press?

The printing press.

And then what?

Can I fucking answer?

Yes, I'm sorry.

Over under.

Over under.

Or,

Tom, you're forgetting one of the most important ones.

Fucking right on.

Fucking hell.

I hate this.

Edging Chris Kringle.

Yeah, yeah.

I

remembered on the drive here.

As is tradition.

No, he did a very thoughtful

last year.

Did he?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Very thoughtful.

Before he gave you a newspaper in a car.

No, that was two years ago.

I believe that was the first year.

The first year, and then he made up for it with a very thoughtful gift.

Right.

Yeah.

But this year.

Remembered over there.

But bought my things from a movie landmark, The Coles, in Port Melbourne, featuring in the classic Australian film Animal Kingdom.

Wow.

But the question you were asked, Broden, which you didn't answer at all.

Well, you weren't clear with the question.

Oh.

Oh, I believe I was abundantly.

So I bought about what I own,

my thing.

Yes.

It was $22, but a lot of that was for me.

You've got to not move your head because the jingling of your bell is giving daddy a headache.

I understand.

I'm sorry, daddy.

Daddy Zach.

Daddy Zach's Zach.

I love the jingle.

Me, I'm a regular Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Jingle all the way.

But Zach,

he's more a Santa Claus in the sense that the clause for Santa is no ring of ding-lings.

So more of a Tim Allen Santa Claus.

The Santa clause.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, because it's the pun, yeah.

Yeah.

The Santa clause.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And his Santa Claus is no ding-a-linging.

Well, but no, I wouldn't put it in a clause.

It's just right now.

I have a headache right now.

Next year, you can ding-a-ling.

So I don't know what I spent.

I think the clause can change year to year.

Are you wanting it?

Are you going to go around?

I'm just saying.

Are you going to go around to everyone and ask if they hit the $10 market?

No, I'm good with just you.

Okay, great.

Unless you really want to, unless you're

so sorry about that.

That's back last year.

But the Spacebook.

Was that you?

That was two years ago.

Was it?

I hate to burst your bubble.

That's bad.

Let's go through it.

It's been sitting on this desk for two fucking years.

We've had three incredible years.

Nerf Gunn, two years old, sitting on this table.

Yeah.

Nerf Gunn.

Yeah, that was last year.

Is it fourth or third?

This is our fourth then.

Really?

Yeah.

A cold feet the DVD.

Two years old.

Yes, I had one year old.

What's one year old then?

Last year was dog.

Yeah,

dog treats and dog piss cleaners.

Last year, I believe, for me, was Speed Racer and the DVDs.

No, that was the year before.

What was last year?

What was last year?

Oh, you got me some bullshit.

Did I?

Yeah, you got me a noodle.

That's right.

And I remember I ate that noodle.

What did you get?

What did I get for someone?

Yeah, you got an Atlas, perhaps.

I got you an Atlas.

Because I have a son named Atlas.

I went way over the spending.

I increased my spending 500%

last year.

The darts was the very first year.

I went over because I couldn't choose.

Funny gifts.

All right, great.

I went over by $6.50.

Do you have somewhere to be, Broden?

Sure.

I feel like you're

rushing this along when the joy.

I've got to be honest, I don't feel the Christmas magic just yet.

Is that because we're

recording this in July?

We don't need to say when we're recording this.

I was waiting for that.

Actually, it's June, so it's not even Christmas in July.

It could be a bit of that.

It could be Zach telling me not to dingle the bells.

It could be you fucking going on about the price for like 10 minutes.

I would argue, Broden, that with a concept this thin, 10 minutes of conversation.

This is more prep than we've ever done for a podcast.

Yes, that's true.

You set up each gift.

You take the gift, you talk about the gift.

That's

seven minutes apiece.

The list.

You look at the list.

Do you want me to go hard?

Do you want me to cut the fat, go hard, see how fucking long it takes us?

Is that what you want?

Let's do it.

Broden, take your gift.

Which one is it?

Quick, quick, quick.

Come on.

Speed it up.

Speed it up.

No, no,

no.

My gift.

Your gift.

What do you want a gift?

I want a gift.

All right.

No, come on first.

Come on first.

Come on's going first.

Before we do, Tom, before you talk, can you trade this hat for a tie?

Oh, I've already got a tie.

Is that because of the ring?

No, you've already got a tie.

Then take off your hat.

Okay.

Same, Broden, please.

Put on the ball cap.

Put on this hat.

Put on the ball cap.

Put on the ball cap, Tom.

What's this from?

That's from

a Pitbull promotion.

Yeah, it's from a Pitbull promotion.

Nice.

We're good.

We're good.

Certainly.

You look like Dr.

Robotnik.

Tom's got a real Dr.

Robotnik.

Dr.

Visual Jokes.

That's for the...

You've got to pay money to see that.

Are you talking about Eggman?

Yes, Dr.

Robotnik, I believe, was his birth name.

That's the name his mother gave him.

Well, he became a Dotny.

Eggman is

what the critters and the creatures call him, the ones that he keeps prisoner.

I don't know his first name it's his villainous name anakin skywalker it's the darth vader to his anakin skywalker so you cutting the fat has gone well okay that fucking this cunt right here started adding fat not me when did i add fat you made us all change our hands

you made you turned him into eggman

I was not of my volition at all.

You made Tom put a bald cap on.

I'm here for it.

And for me to have a nose of green and tie.

That was your choice.

I was having

all the way down.

Anyway,

the numbers are fucking

of the father of Jesus.

Who knows how many they're up?

And also,

shout out to everyone that came along to our tour.

Thank you so much.

We had such a good time.

You might still be on.

No, no, it's Christmas.

No, you might still be

playing in Melbourne, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ticket still listened.

Come on, come on.

Thomas,

I got a gift list.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Don't fuck this up because

what is incredible about the magic of Christmas in KK is that we don't know who got who what and we will never know.

No, really, right?

And we keep it a secret.

So,

Thomas,

close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

Can I wear Mark?

Yes.

Just before you do that, and I'm sorry, bro, because I know the irony of what I'm about to say because I did just interrupt.

I just want you to know,

in the middle of this, where are we?

We're 10, 15 minutes in.

I agreed that I wouldn't be neutral this time around, that I would defend you.

Yes.

Switching sides, bro, to bully away.

Great.

I have your flank.

Thank you.

What chance do you have now?

None.

But

when the spirit of Christmas is inside you,

whether or not you want it to be there,

like you could want it, you could have opted in or opted out.

I think the arc of this is we find our Christmas spirit.

Yes, I agree.

And I already have mine.

And hopefully I can infect you up with it.

I've not seen that story told before.

I'm going to raw dog you all with my Christmas spirit

and make sure you catch it.

Oh my God.

You're a hoovie.

Tom, close your eyes, put out your hands.

Now, whichever mysterious person, and I think we should all make noise so Tom doesn't know, grab Thomas's gift and pop it into his hands.

And no one knows

whose is who.

Keep your eyes closed, Tom.

Great.

Fucking

and and open your eyes and got it it's from broadening talk with the listeners at home yeah

what do you see and what do you see a coals bag and i reckon this person's looked at my wish list because should i tell you what's on my wish list oh yeah let's go through thomas's wish list because every year we get to do a wish list wishlist where every member about um drawnames.com is you can do a wishlist wish list absolutely oh and it's I'm so sorry, it's dot com.au.

So this is an Aussie venture.

It is.

So that's like that's

the domain of an Australian website.

Well, it asks you when you sign up.

So, when I signed up, it says, Where are you?

And it chucks the.au on for you

so that you can order stuff from.

I would like to meet the personal people that invented this website and keep it updated.

I'd like to meet those people, probably making good money.

I reckon I'll slip some

data.

Yeah.

They go out to brands.

They go, Hey, do you want your people going to come like because if you're in this, if you're in this Chris Kremle thing, they go, Well, my my brother-in-law has asked for exactly this thing from Amazon.

Yeah, I will click through and buy this immediately.

Exactly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wish lists are very limited.

The wish lists, when you search for it on the site, it only gives you a select number of brands.

So there's your answer.

There you go.

Extraordinarily limited.

Genius.

Now I'd meet those people who go, very smart.

A bit.

Bit rotten.

They'd be like,

oh, thanks.

I'm off in my Jaguar to the opera.

Is this the people that started yourname.com.au?

Drawname.

They're probably the only people who saw the Jaguar rebrand and bought a car based off of that.

I don't know if you've ever seen that.

But do yourself a favor.

Check out the Jaguar rebrand.

Pretty crazy that we're halfway through and no one's opened the fucking present.

I've got hold of one at least.

It takes like 30 seconds to open the presents.

You've got to fluff it up.

All right.

So what did he ask for?

What did Thomas ask for?

Let's have a look at his wish list.

Now,

a thin list.

Seven.

A thin list.

The man knows what he wants.

Seven gifts.

Wish list for Tom.

Number one.

As a Christmas song.

As a Christmas song.

Seven gifts of Tom.

A wish list for Tom.

Seven gifts for Tom.

Seven gifts for Tom.

Tom asked for Tim Tims.

Tom asked for a bluey book.

Tom asked for jolly ranches.

Tom asked for Malteses.

Tomorrow

He asked for some

glassware tumblers.

Mark, no, no, I'm not on the side.

I'm on your side again, brother.

Single way.

And he asked for a massage gun, a massage gun, a massage gun.

Turn it on, put it up your bum.

A massage gun.

A massage gun.

That would do damage to your rectum.

Depending on the girth of your hole.

No,

rapid.

And the strength of your hole.

It's a muscle.

Have you seen how fast they are?

They have low settings.

No, no.

But you wouldn't want to slip and accidentally.

They have vibrate settings.

Okay.

Thomas.

I don't think anyone's saying put a Theragun up your ass here.

No, that was just an affiliate

song.

Theragen literally.

I think putting a Theragun up your asshole would do severe damage.

Yeah, if you were to put the puncher

in your sphincter.

You cannot believe.

Everything in a Christmas song.

If you saw Rudolph's nose, would you out loud say, oh, it glows?

No, but but I would put it there and kind of

exactly exactly if I saw red and deer we pick and choose I think is the uh part of the Christmas spirit right are you miracle are you saying would right would rudo does Rudolph like eating ass no what I'm saying is you don't take every Christmas song literally and the song goes why are we talking about shoving Rudolph's nose up our ass we're not but we could be and isn't that the miracle of Christmas wow

what's he got so I'm guessing it's it's a bag of loose stuff.

Just open it.

Just open it.

No, don't rush him at the present part.

I was told to cut the fat.

That this is how you feel.

This is the fat.

I think it's loose nuts.

Oh, you think it's a bag of loose nuts?

Are we talking almond nuts?

I don't like that sound.

My favorite double coat Tim Tams.

Not the Tim Tams he asked for because Tom asked for a 365 gram family pack because he's a family man yet was given double.

So I would say that's a fail.

If you put double in the fridge, they're better.

It's a fail.

Is it a double coat of Tim Tams, though?

Is that not double the amount of Tim Tams?

No, double chocolate, but there's actually one less Tim Tam in there.

I counted once.

So when you get the normal ones, there's 11, but when you get these, there's 10.

Thank you, David.

Isn't that crazy?

Like, but they didn't tell you that.

And are there three rows of Tim Tams or two rows of Tim Tams in a family pack?

365 gram.

Oh, my God.

You're speaking too soon.

A second.

Okay, okay.

A second chewy caramel packet of Tim Tams.

Still, not as many Tim Tams as there are in a family.

What?

Fuck me, Robin.

I am such a judgmental prick, and I need to slow the fuck up.

What happened on the third thing?

Slow down, Carl.

Oh my goodness.

So there was a third packet of Tim Tams.

White and a fourth packet of Tim Tams.

Original.

And a packet of double stuff Oreos.

And what flavor are those Oreos?

Not your regular Oreo cookie here.

No, they're Pasco marshmallow marshmallow-inspired-inspired Oreo cookies.

But Doublecoat's my favourite.

Caramel's my third favourite.

Original's fourth, and I reckon White's like seventh or eighth.

And a good one.

And may I ask

what's the missing?

The Murray River salted caramel is my second favourite.

Please, anyone.

How long do you have to eat them?

Several years, actually.

Do you?

The second of the 10th, 2025.

Great.

Well, maybe we can leave them here.

They're enjoying the date.

They're out of date.

Because we're in December right now.

Fuck, if it's 2025, they're out of date.

That's a real shame.

I'm still going to eat them.

Okay, thank you.

Who's next?

Anyone want to, Tim Tam?

Well, I would just like to analyse.

I'd like to analyse the gift just for a moment because I would say this is an extraordinary, and we don't know who gave you.

Do you have maybe a gift?

Well, we don't know.

I saw that's a guess.

Okay.

Is this a two-part episode?

Fuck.

Maybe KK has become a two-part episode because the joy is so overwhelming that we can't contain it in a single episode.

I think that's a good thing.

Oh.

Okay, let me just, let me just, let me just, I'll just, I'll take a step back.

Yeah, I think unfortunately, we're going to have to go into two episodes.

I'm sorry, everyone.

Next year, I'll make sure we cut it.

I wonder if the marshmallow ones are still vegan.

Can I just say, no one's working together on this podcast?

There's a lot of

biscuits.

My God, Brody, I got a throttle on it.

It's happening now.

I got control of the steering wheel and a gun pointed at everyone.

And you can all back off.

Like, I'm happy to follow you now, but it's just like you were doing a great bit.

And then fucking Tom just comes and starts talking about.

Yeah, I got excited.

To be fair, you said that thing, and then I said, you're right.

I was going to yes and then talk about, I was going to yes and then talk about how that's not the spirit of Christmas.

And then you started going, don't worry, I've got a gun.

But hey, maybe that makes this a two-part episode.

And that's fine.

It's not ideal, but it's okay.

It is what it is.

It is what it is.

We find ourselves 20 minutes in, one present open.

No one to blame.

We can check in about it for next, KK.

But it is what it is.

I think we've got a two-part episode.

And just let us know when we hit that sweet 30-minute mark.

Say Minic.

Oh, man.

Come on.

Oh, God.

Oh, my God.

I'm drying mouth.

Don't eat the biscuits right now.

Why not?

I want to try it.

Do you reckon these are still vegan now that they've got marshmallow fluff and eggs?

Oh, the smack get to mukbang here.

Let's step away from the microphone when we chew.

Let's make that agreement.

I'm happy to talk while the three people eat their marshmallow flavoured.

You're not going to have one, King of Sweeties.

No, I just don't want the chewing on the mic.

I don't want the mukbang of it.

So we're going to take a bite, chew off mic.

I thought it was mukbang.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, probably.

Mukbang sounds like your artistic food.

That is

intense.

I really like it, but it's not that marshmallowy.

It's more like red velvet.

Oh,

no, no, that's major.

Yeah, nah nah nah.

Too much for Mark.

Limited edition candies and treats.

Limited edition.

Limited edition candies.

Sorry.

Limited edition candies and treats.

Limited edition fast foods

are almost always made in the office, not in the test kitchen.

This is my opinion on the way you're acting is it's Christmas Eve.

Yes, it's true, Zach.

It's Chadston on Christmas Eve.

This is how you're acting.

This is the energy you have.

And you haven't gotten a single gift for your friends or family, and you're rushing around from store to store.

Dude, you need to Christmas chillax.

This feels like being in a tornado of ADHD, and I can't fucking deal with it, man.

Don't don't.

What do you think?

Don't, what's the word?

Um, you've outed me

and myself,

yeah, and Tom and him

you've diagnosed and outed everyone

not directly but saying this is like I think it's a fair observation

that random words and sentences just sprouted into four separate microphones as people say a sentence stop and then eat a fucking limited edition marshmallow oreo is what it would feel like to be in a tornado tornado of adhd so let's stop let's breathe yeah it's this is a tip party.

Okay, I accept that.

Hey, I need you to be a little more idle.

Mark, I'm taking charge, bro.

Once again, I'm wearing a t-shirt that says idols.

No one fucking knows that, Mark.

You can't just say that as a funny pun on an audio podcast and make them, you can't make that new...

You can't make that new observation.

Okay, time out.

Time out, everybody.

Time out.

Time I have my hand up.

But I timed out.

Can you please ask Brayden what he thought of the marshmallow stuff, Torias?

Braden, what did you think?

Eating it now.

And what is your opinion?

I like it.

Yeah, I like it.

I think it's a bit much.

Time out.

Time out.

Time out.

Timeout.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Listen to me.

Listen to me.

It's a Christmas time.

I'm taking charge.

Give me this beat.

Lindsay, how much longer on the podcast?

How much longer till it's over?

You've been going for 24 minutes.

We've been going for 24 minutes.

There's six minutes to go.

Give me three minutes of your time.

Beautiful.

Please.

I am so willing to hand.

I'm not going to let go of the gun, but I'm happy to let you have control of the throttle and not the steering.

I will hand it right back to you, Mark.

The throttle?

Whatever.

I'm just letting you adjust the throttle.

I have control for three minutes.

We will be coming back with a part two.

The next six minutes will not be about opening presents.

It will be three minutes of time for me to set the rules

and then three minutes of just getting the tone right tasting this cookies we'll talk a little bit about the cookies we'll have some fun we'll get it the Christmas cheer then we will cut to we'll say we'll join you next week for KK part two

Then we will come back.

We will come back in KK part two.

Mark will be in charge.

Mark will be in charge.

But in this three minutes, six minutes, we will have agreed on some terms and conditions for Mark's rule.

And if he breaks those rules, there will be a coup.

Okay?

And does this stand for all KK's secret centers from here on out?

No, just this one.

Just this one.

There will also be rules for all the parties that are not Mark.

The three of us will agree to roll with the punches.

Who will be keeping everyone held accountable?

Should it be one of us?

Democracy.

Democracy, my man.

So

just the idea of democracy.

At any point, any of us accountable.

At any point.

Democracy, my man.

My man.

Yeah.

At any point, one of us can call mutiny on anyone.

Not just.

Not just the leader.

It can be.

So if it's mutiny to the leader, it's a call for leadership.

But you can also call to lock up one person if you don't feel their yes ending or embracing the spirit of Christmas well enough.

You go,

I charge ye.

I sentence ye to the phantom zone.

I sentence ye to the phantom zone.

I sentence ye to the.

Can we get some notes, Tom?

Notes.

I will take your.

Lindsay, write the rules down, please, Lindsay.

Lindsay, we got this.

Okay, so.

We got both Lindsay and

if anyone is unhappy with the leadership, I will get to your hands up, Tom.

If anyone is unhappy with the leadership, they could call for mutiny.

They could talk for mutiny, they could call for it.

If anyone calls for mutiny, the leader has to step back.

I will get to Tom's hand up.

The leader is not allowed to talk until mutiny has been decided or not.

Okay.

All right.

And that has to be a unanimous vote from all three other parties.

That has to be out of the three, two out of three.

Two out of three.

Okay.

Now,

no, unanimous.

Yeah.

Unanimous.

Also,

I, what was it, sentence you, ye to the phantom zone?

Yes.

I sentence ye to the phantom zone.

That is the call that can be made, including by the leader, against anyone who is not a leader.

Again, that person is not allowed to talk during the decision-making process.

If all three sentence them to the phantom zone, they are not allowed to talk for two minutes while they think about their actions and decide how they can best enter, re-enter society as a willing participant in the Christmas cheer.

Are there any other rules?

I just have one question about the Phantom Zone.

Can you moan and groan?

No, no sounds at all.

Really?

No sounds at all.

But when you return from the Phantom Zone, after the two minutes has elapsed, you are given 20 seconds to talk of your experiences in the Phantom Zone.

Everyone else will listen during that 20 seconds.

I would love a warning system in the Phantom Zone that allows for moans and groans in case you're being talked about in a negative way.

And if you moan and you groan three times, you get sentenced to the phantom zone zone.

We put it to a vote.

Is there a moaning system in the phantom zone?

I vote no.

Who agrees?

No, I want to moan and groan in the phantom zone.

Okay, Mark, explain the Phantom Zone Zone rules.

Mark?

So if you're sentenced to the Phantom Zone and something is said about you that you hear from the Phantom Zone and that causes you to moan or groan,

you are warned, you have a three three moan groan zone rule system.

Either you moan or groan more than three times.

Or you moan on three warnings.

Warning one.

Groan once, which is a moan.

Second warning.

Third warning, moan or groan.

Then you are

sentenced to the phantom zone zone where you must be silent for two minutes.

Two minutes.

From

with no

moaning or groaning.

Moaning.

You're going to add a rule.

The only person that can do the warning is the person that sentenced sentenced you to the Phantom Zone.

Yes, okay.

Can I ask who is is it a gentleman's agreement on the two minute like you time yourself in the phantom zone?

Yes, yes, I believe.

But you have to you have to set a timer and you have to prove you have to show evidence that it has been to when you come out of the phantom zone or the phantom zone zone.

The phantom zone gets you straight back to the real world.

When you come out, you have 20 seconds to describe your experience in the phantom zone zone.

But after the 20 seconds has elapsed, you then embrace the Christmas cheer back to whoever is leader.

Mark, I'd like to petition to change the name of the Phantom Zone Zone to the Moan and Grown Zone.

I just feel like that makes more sense.

Can we call it the Moan and Grown Phantom Zone Zone?

Yes, we can.

Thank you.

Okay.

Now, what's Tom's thing?

Did you?

He got an Oreo.

He twisted it.

He ate one side of the biscuit.

Then he put that down.

Yeah.

Then he got another Oreo.

He twisted it, ate one side of the biscuit.

Then he had two half Oreos.

He put them together.

So it's biscuit, cream, cream, biscuit and then he ate it like a Big Mac is that what happened Tom yes it is and no and you didn't even and you did that That is so humble to do that and not even talk about it and mention it guys.

I'm so sorry

guys.

This is a really fun chat and enjoyable, but unfortunately we couldn't get our shit together in time to be able to have this conversation.

Zach we can have it in the next episode, but we are figuring out the rules.

I just need to say one thing.

Mark said it was a Big Mac and it is not.

No, because it's not the bread in the middle at all.

But that's what you fucking said double quarter pounder no no no talk same again tom so he took an oreo right he twisted it one side had cream and biscuit the other had biscuit straight up he ate just the biscuit just the biscuit then he put down the cream and biscuits

got another oreo twisted then there was cream and biscuit and just

he ate the biscuit

two dry biscuits then he picked up the cream and biscuit and in the other hand he had the other cream and biscuit then he put it together like a double quarter pounder and he ate it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just the double stuffed it.

That's fucked up.

Not a Big Mac.

Not a Big Mac.

No, because I thought there was another, the way it was described to me at first, maybe I just misheard it, but it sounded to me like there was a biscuit.

Not maybe.

You did.

All right, then I hope you.

Great idea.

And I apologize.

There's no need.

I speak to you.

Especially when one knows some green time.

Mark, we are setting the rules.

Mark, I...

I am happy for you to be the leader.

Great.

But I ask that you listen.

I ask that you listen to criticism.

If people ask you to move along, I ask that you just acknowledge it.

You don't have to move along.

Don't go hard.

Don't go hard on it in like a childish sort of fuck you way.

Oh, you criticize me.

All right, fuck you.

I'll do exactly what you want, but not in the way you ask.

That's that not working.

But you got to know about it.

You got to know butt it, Mark.

Great.

All right.

Can I ask something, Zach?

Broden.

No, but.

But.

Broden, go.

Yes.

We're out of time.

We're not out of time.

We are going to figure this out.

30 minutes.

We are going to figure this out.

We have to go in with an imperfect system.

No.

We have to go ahead with the imperfect system.

Let me hear.

I need Lindsay to read back what Lindsay wrote down.

Okay, you're at the time.

I want to hear both back to back.

Lindsay?

I wrote, if anyone is unhappy with the leadership, they can call for mutiny.

If anyone calls for mutiny, the leader isn't allowed to talk until the mutiny has been decided.

We did this in a car once.

Ananymous decision to decide mutiny.

Yes.

The sentence, I sentence ye to the phantom zone against anyone who isn't a leader.

They can't talk for two minutes once they're in the phantom zone until they re-enter society.

However, can you moan and groan in the phantom zone?

We decided that you can moan and groan in the phantom zone.

Three times.

You're only allowed to do it three times.

First two times you get a warning.

The third time,

first you were sentenced to the Phantom Zone zone, and now you're sentenced to the moan and groan phantom zone Zone Zone.

And then only the person who can do the warning,

the only person who can give you a first and second warning is the person who first sentenced you to the Phantom Zone Zone.

Great.

I got a little lost towards the end there, but I'm getting just

manually time yourself whilst you're in the Phantom Zone Zone.

And then once you return to the real world from the Phantom Zone, you have 20 seconds to

talk about your time in the Phantom Zone Zone.

And then you return to the real world with Christmas spirit.

Yes.

I just want to add one other thing.

The Phantom Zone or is it an amendment?

No, no, wait, it's just a matter of time.

Anything from here on here is an amendment.

It's just a clarification.

The Phantom Zone banishment.

I sentence you to the Phantom Zone.

That also needs a unanimous vote.

Yes.

Yeah.

Okay, great.

Yeah.

The only thing I had

on top of what Lindsay said is that Mark is the leader.

Great.

Yes.

Yes.

Any other thoughts, any other amendments before we jump into this?

I'd just like to add in there for

what's the word for like for history, for history, you know?

A Big Mac structure of an Oreo would be hard biscuit cream.

Harping on about this.

Hard biscuit cream.

Yes, I know.

I know.

I'm fucking putting something into legislation.

You're putting this into...

This is...

I didn't realize this was Will's for games.

Posterity.

And you do understand that I know the fucking difference.

between a Big Mac version of an Oreo.

I just want it known

and a double quarter pounder.

But my mistake was that I just misheard the construction.

Let me finish.

For posterity.

Big Mac is hard biscuit cream, hard biscuit, cream, hard biscuit.

Double quarter pounder would be hard biscuit cream cream hard biscuit.

Yes.

So the big.

No debate there.

The Big Mac would have been you eat the dry biscuit of one, then you take another, you move it.

Do nothing to that and just squish it in.

Which is fun.

Sure.

Yeah.

They should do that as a collab with McDonald.

Very fun.

A McFlurry-flavored Oreo that comes in a Big Mac.

Can we all agree?

Don't fucking delete that one because I actually want to save that for later.

I want to pitch that.

I have one request.

Can you delete that?

No, keep it in.

I want to keep it.

No, that's a fucking.

Why are you saying?

Because they're going to steal that fucking idea.

Someone's going to make millions and I'm going to still be sitting at home with a dick in my hand, ripping it off.

Ripping your dick off?

Ripping your dick off.

Yeah, because of the anger of all the money that I don't have.

You're not going to make that much money from a deal like that.

You're just going to get like a good marketing wage.

All right, well, that's good to know.

That's good to integrate.

You're not getting a cut.

All right, good.

I'm safe.

One other thing, one other request.

Got one more thing.

Yeah, so my one would be: can we really step into this next episode?

Two requests, actually.

One, Mark, can you set up, even could we reenact Tom getting his gift?

Sure, yeah, fresh start.

I love that.

Act like it's the first episode, right?

And can we release the second one in six months?

Yeah.

No, that's less my vote.

Can this come out in July?

That's sort of funny.

Yeah, we can talk about that.

We can talk about that.

This comes out quite soon.

So you've got to keep listening to the podcast.

Now.

Find out what happens because we're going to drop it at a random time.

Now.

And with a different name.

So you won't know until you start listening.

Sorry, Zach.

No, no, no, it's fine.

I just want to get to the bottom of this so we can have fun in the next one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I just want to request that we come in with the Christmas cheer.

We act like this episode never happened.

I agree.

It is.

It's wild.

We have to really play it.

Happy, joyful, Christmas cheer, all good vibes.

And the only time that anything might hint at this episode is when a leadership challenge happens or a Phantom Zone.

Absolutely.

Yes.

It just sort of starts fresh and clean.

You got it.

Yes.

All right.

Well, thanks for listening, everyone.

Oh, Tom had a request.

I was just going to say thank you for the biscuits, Braden.

Very delicious.

Well, save that.

Well, Tom, get that back.

Yeah, save that for the

next one.

Where that population.

And half a thing are Oreos.

Which I think it would be important to address that,

but not know how why it happens.

In canon.

In Canon.

Yeah.

Do it in canon.

Absolutely.

This episode never happened.

And can I just get those calls one more time?

It's, I call a mutiny, whatever, and then I sentence ye to the phantom zone.

I also think it's very important to title this episode like KK and then in brackets, skip this one, and then the next one, KK, no context required.

Real edition.

Yeah.

Okay, sure.

Sure.

We can talk about that off air.

Great.

All right.

So

we good?

We good.

We good.

All right.

Join us next week or in six months for

the proper KK episode, and I think we're all going to have a good time.

Absolutely.

You've been listening to the Auntie Donor Podcast.

Thanks for joining us for another rip episode brought to you by AuntieDonorClub.com.

See you next week.